Chapter 11

Katsuki panted heavily as he lowered himself down. His arms strained and flexed as he pushed himself back up again. Katsuki wiped some sweat off his forehead before doing more push ups.

They were fucking annoying.

He understood he needed to do them to get strong, and he'd happily oblige... But that didn't make it any less exhausting.

Especially not having Deku there, Katsuki felt unmotivated to exercise and grow fitter for the Festival. They hadn't seen each other at all after their fight. To Katsuki, it seemed like the last time he saw Deku was years ago, and not a few days.

Maybe he was growing too dependent on the stupid nerd.

Katsuki finished his set of push ups before going to the kitchen and pouring himself some water.

Both his parents were out running errands, so Katsuki momentarily had the house to himself. It was quiet, and he felt almost..relieved. There were no expectations or demands of him, which would be a nice thought except for the missing piece in this puzzle. Deku was never quiet, he always babbled on about something or another. And his presence was comforting to Katsuki, whether they were in silence or not.

Katsuki knew he needed to get out of the house because being trapped in there all day without Deku might make him crazy. So, he made plans to go visit Inko where she was staying. The plans were a bit impromptu, but Inko was more than happy to host him.

But, Katsuki still felt unwelcome. It would be odd visiting Inko without Deku by his side. He felt similar to a wolf, lost in the deep and dark woods, missing from its pack. Although comparing himself to a wolf was stupid. He was more like a feral dog - ferocious, sensitive, and broken. Katsuki snorted, even that was generous.

He gulped down his water, wishing his thoughts away. Katsuki then eyed the dirty dishes piled near the sink. He debated himself for a second before ultimately deciding to wash them later.

He then placed his cup on the counter, where it would most likely be forgotten. Both him and his dad had a tendency to leave their cups lying around, and Mitsuki was always frustrated at the lack of cups there was in the cupboard. And of course all the cups strewn randomly around the house.

Before he could walk away, his phone vibrated on the counter.

Katsuki checked his phone to see it was a text from his mom.

-Mitsuki-

Hey, can you do the dishes before you leave?

Katsuki groaned. He was doing the dishes now, apparently.

He placed his phone back on the counter with a sigh, and started to get to work filling the sink with soapy water.

He plugged the drain so that the water wouldn't all wash away and waste the soap. Then, Katsuki let the water run and fill up the sink.

It was weird, actually, to do a task as normal as this one. It'd been a while since anything even remotely normal happened, and it was almost nice to stand in the kitchen with the only sound being running water in the background. The house was calmer than Katsuki ever remembers it being. Usually, there is something going on. For example, Mitsuki would scream at him for being ignorant or some shit, Masaru would make dinner and occasionally drop a few things, causing a loud sound to go off, and of course Katsuki would grow angry very fast, so the times where he wasn't yelling had become fewer and far between, at least, compared to the times he was.

Ahhh, there was nothing like being a Bakugou.

Katsuki snorted. Through the yelling and anger one would perceive off the bat he was vulnerable. Yet, most assumed he was as strong as he claimed... If only that were true.

Just look at him. His mind trails to Deku all the goddamn time, it's like he can't catch a break. It's always Deku. Always.

Katsuki clenched his jaw. How stupid. Deku must be tired of him, that's why he ran off like a little bitch. It makes sense considering everything about Katsuki's existence but it was still Deku's fault for running with his tail between his legs. For being such a damn coward. That's how it always was.

The sound of running water and the splash of hot water on his feet shook Katsuki from the edges of darkness in which his mind was fleeing to.

The water was spilling over the sink and onto the floor due to Katsuki's carelessness and spacing out. The cascading water was scalding to Katsuki's bare feet and the few droplets that flew on his skin burned. But, he couldn't bring himself to move at all. There was no reason for him to.

He cursed and hurriedly turned off the faucet before grabbing a few towels and drying off the floor. He was still stuck in a bit of a daze, and almost tripped on the slippery floor.

Katsuki slapped himself in the face, feeling the burn startle him into full consciousness.

He scoffed at himself for being so careless and letting his thoughts flee to those blaming Deku for shortcomings that were purely his own. It used to be like that, but it wasn't anymore. At least it shouldn't be.

Katsuki drained some of the water before completing the task at hand and washing the delicate dishes that his mother had requested.

After he finished washing dishes, Katsuki got ready for his trip to visit Inko. He didn't much care about what he looked like, but his mother and father had taught him from a young age to be no slouch when it came to fashion.

And, Katsuki had planned to cook something for Inko because he assumed these past few months weren't kind to her, and her health, at all.

So, he quickly whipped up some rice and curry with chicken for Inko. After preparing the meal, he stepped back to view his hard work. It smelled amazing, and Katsuki only hoped it tasted as good as it smelled. But, it obviously would, seeing as he's the one who cooked it.

Suddenly a realization struck Katsuki. He should have cooked before doing the dishes, not after. He groaned in frustration and ultimately decided to abandon the newly dirtied dishes. He'd be late to meeting with Inko otherwise.

And so, Katsuki grabbed the dish he made for Inko and left his house.

It might've seemed odd when Katsuki turned opposite of the street that the Midoriyas lived on, instead walking towards their local train station. But, Katsuki was going in the right direction. After Deku's accident, Inko couldn't stand living in a house haunted by his possessions. Just walking in front of Deku's room sent tears running down her face, because the only face she'd ever find in there would be All Might's. So, she packed up with some hired help and moved into a hotel for what she deemed would only be a short time. According to Mitsuki, she got scared she would grow accustomed to living in a hotel room, so after a few weeks she moved to a different hotel room.

It's quite sad.

And, she still has to pay rent for the apartment she's scared to set foot in, which puts a strain on her finances. Overall, it's a shitty situation… one that Katsuki fully takes the blame for.

But, Katsuki looks up to Inko. After all, someone as stressed and in pain as her still has time to see her son's murderer? That's generous.

Katsuki's frown deepens as he walks to the train station.

The rest of the way goes by uneventfully. With Katsuki trying his best to quench the facts floating around his mind, trying to burn holes in what is left of his sanity.

After boarding the train, Katsuki busies himself by observing the other passengers. There's a little girl holding onto her mother's hand, playing with the straps of the messenger bag belonging to the boy sitting next to her. The boy is too busy proofreading what seems to be a paper, he's probably a university student, or that's what Katsuki guesses.

He hears a tapping sound, and turns his head to see a man in his twenties… with earbuds in. Katsuki closed his eyes to drown out the repetitive tapping.

It was annoying, and he wanted it to stop. The repetition of it sent prickles down his skin uncomfortably.

He opened his eyes with a steely calmness.

Tap

He takes a deep breath in

Tap, tap

His posture straightens

Tap

His eye begins to twitch

Tap, tap, tap

His muscles tense

Tap, tap

Katsuki lets go of all the pent up tension and exhaled gently. He had to stop being so fucking angry all the time… what would Deku think if he saw him now?

That didn't matter anymore.

Katsuki rests his head against the window behind him for the rest of the trip to the hotel. He had to be nice to Inko, she deserved that much…

Katsuki got off at the exit closest to where Inko was staying. Her hotel was pretty close to the train station, so he didn't have to walk that much.

Looking at the hotel, Katsuki felt as though a ton of bricks were crashing down on him. The pressure was suffocating. He couldn't face Inko… it wasn't like in the hospital where he was the subject of attention, that was easy. No, now it was about her and Deku. Who Katsuki would daresay were his weaknesses. Give him monsters, villains, demons, anything but Inko.

"Are you going to just stand there? Go in!" Katsuki could almost imagine Deku saying to him, motivating him to do what he could never have done. He had to do this for himself, for Deku, and for Inko.

It shook him out of his stupor. Katsuki almost laughed, Deku was still giving him confidence, even in his absence.

Katsuki inhaled, exhaled, and walked through the doors of the hotel.

He remembers Mitsuki mentioning what room she was in, after she shared one of her hour-long talking sessions with Inko. So, Katsuki kept his head down as he made his way up to the third floor, room number twelve.

It was easy to walk up to the room, but knocking on the door of 312 was another ordeal. But, he promised himself he would do it.

Katsuki knocked on the door for the room he feared most.

After a few seconds it opened about halfway, revealing Inko Midoriya. While she was in rumpled clothing, and looked more than slightly defeated, she managed a smile.

"Good morning, Midoriya." Katsuki cautiously greeted Midoriya Inko. He still wasn't completely sure what to say to her, in other words, whether he should tread lightly or not. The hospital was a vulnerable moment for both of them, but now Katsuki could think better.

"Oh, Inko is alright!" She corrected him with a wag of her finger. Her enthusiasm seemed a little fake. It was like she was putting on a show, or trying to make him feel better and lift his spirits. The bags under her eyes gave away how tired she was, even if she didn't want to show it.

"If I can call you Inko, then you can stop that bullshit facade." Katsuki might have sounded harsh, but he did mean well.

Inko looked conflicted before her face fell. She looked much more tired, and pretty sad as well. Her posture slumped a bit, and her eyes drooped.

Katsuki knew she needed help, it had been really hard for her these past months. Usually she would go to the Bakugou family for help, but they had been tied up with their own selfish asshole of a son, and they could only take so much time off of work. It was unfair, really. And although he was too late, Katsuki would lend her help and aid her. He'd give her the little strength he had, because he knew she needed it much more than he did.

He multiplied his own pains by one hundred, and yet couldn't feel the extent of the pain Inko was feeling. She still needed comfort and assistance in her new life. Inko was dejected and lost. Katsuki needed to ground her, to bring her back down to earth and not float away, so he opened his arms.

Inko looked up at him with a sad smile before wrapping her arms around him. Katsuki relaxed into her embrace and hugged her back.

It was a warm hug, and he'd never admit it, but he really needed the comfort and warmth. They both needed comfort in all honesty.

After a few seconds, Inko pulled away from the hug.

"That was nice." She sounded quite exhausted, but still invited him into the hotel room she was staying at.

Katsuki surveyed the small rooms that had become home to Inko the past few weeks.

"I don't know how you do this" Katsuki murmured softly.

"Oh, please." Inko shooed him away, "It's really nothing."

She wiped her eyes with the back of her hand, and walked a few steps to the kitchen where she started to heat some water for tea.

"Please make yourself at home."

Katsuki glanced around at the room before he followed Inko into the kitchen, and placed the container of rice and curry for her to eat. The kitchen was kind of sparse, and Katsuki could only guess she was living with little to no food stored away, especially without any that would be considered healthy. Katsuki then surveyed the small counter space, before opening a few cupboards and getting some tea down for Inko. Just as he thought, there wasn't much food in her cupboards, which made him frown.

"You need to get more food." Katsuki handed the tea he took out of the cupboard to Inko.

"I have some, it's in-" Inko tried to justify her definite lack of food as she gently took the tea from his hand.

"Healthy food." Katsuki interrupted her sternly.

Inko looked down at the whistling teapot as she began the process of steeping the tea in a pot.

They stood, without talking to each other, for a while. Inko didn't know what to say exactly, and Katsuki was waiting for her to speak. He didn't want to dismiss the topic regardless of how comfortable Inko was with it.

So, they just listened to the busy sounds from outside emanating into the small hotel room. Outside the room, the streets were alight with chatter and laughter, you could say it was alive. But, inside, there was a layer of gloom and dark, nevermind the abundance of light. Both Katsuki and Inko felt it chipping away at them. Any space where Inko was staying without Deku was not where she could live.

"Let's step outside." Katsuki suggested after Inko had poured the tea into well used cups. Katsuki cringed a bit, realizing he was only making more work for Inko because she had already poured both of them tea. But, she didn't complain, and flashed Katsuki a brief smile, before pulling out to-go cups so they could take tea with them.

Katsuki hadn't got too situated in the room, so he stood by the door, waiting, in what seemed to be a brooding manner, when he was in fact observing Inko as she gathered her things which were partially strewn about. It was not overly obvious, but Katsuki could see her face pinched in a slight frown.

He sighed. He knew it was probably his fault for making Inko frown like that. If it were about Deku she wouldn't be frowning, instead there would be more of a sadness exuding from her.

Katsuki would figure it out soon enough. Right now he had to get Inko out of the hotel room. Just being there was depressing, and neither of them needed that.

"I'm ready." Inko spoke as she began to open the door and drew Katsuki from his thoughts.

He nodded before following her out of the hotel room, sipping the sweet green tea.

They walked around in silence. It wasn't a comfortable silence, either, and Katsuki felt awkward as they wandered without real purpose.

"Look," Katsuki began as he exhaled heavily, drawing Inko's attention. Once her eyes were on Katsuki, he felt his mouth dry up. What was there for him to say? He sure as hell couldn't make her feel better or change the situation they were in.

"I… It's not easy, and-"

"Katsuki, I appreciate this and you coming out and talking with me, but there's no need for you to feel you have to tread lightly."

Katsuki cocked his head, and furrowed his brow as he looked down at Inko.

"I've known you since you were in diapers, you've never been this careful."

Katsuki grimaced.

Inko looked back in front of her as her face fell. She opened her mouth to speak, but closed it, as if deciding to say something else. For a few seconds, Inko seemed like she was at a loss for words, then she ultimately decided on what to say.

"It's been... difficult for me to realize that I'll never hear his voice again. I'll never be called Mom again, never see his face. And that's terrifying." Tears started to pool in the corners of Inko's eyes.

Katsuki's brow creased in slight confusion.

"I miss his mumbling… sometimes I wish I had paid more attention to it, but it's too late." Inko wistfully looked upwards as tears started to silently fall down her face, "I-I miss his smile so much. His entire face would light up, and he'd look so happy ."

Katsuki opened his mouth to say something, but promptly closed it to let Inko continue reminiscing.

"And-and his passion! Oh, you know how much he loved learning… especially about quirks. But… all of that's gone. He's gone."

Katsuki wanted to say something, but he knew nothing he could say would help. So he awkwardly patted Inko's shoulder as she cried over Deku.

"I'm sorry to dump all of this on you." Inko sniffled as she smiled faintly at Katsuki, "I just still can't believe my baby Izuku is… dead." Inko could barely choke the words out before more years started to flow.

But, Katsuki didn't notice that at all. Instead he froze as his eyes widened in confusion and surprise.

"You said… he's dead?" Katsuki asked to clarify.

Inko looked at him, confused before speaking slowly.

"Yes, Katsuki. It's hard to wrap your head around isn't it?"

Katsuki could tell I konwa starting to tread lightly, but he couldn't get over what she had said.

Deku wasn't dead - he couldn't be. They had just argued with each other.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Katsuki asked, to Inko's vast surprise. "Deku isn't dead."

Inko stopped in her tracks and looked at Katsuki, and he could finally see her heartbroken, tear stained face.

"What are you saying?" Her voice was barely above a whisper, and Katsuki had to strain to hear it.

"First the hag, and now you!" Katsuki threw his hands in the air, "why do you all keep claiming he's dead!? It's not true!"

"Katsuki." Inko was scared, "you saw his body. I-I saw his body."

Her eyes grew teary as she recounted seeing her son's mangled body. His dead body.

"No, no. He's not dead… that body was still alive."

Inko felt terrified. She knew her son was dead. She had hoped, dreamed, and prayed for weeks that it wasn't true and that her son would be coming back home, but it never happened. It never would happen, he was forever gone. Believing anything else would break Inko's heart.

But, what scared her the most was how desperate Katsuki was. He needed to be right, he needed to convince himself more than anyone else.

"Then where is he?" Inko demanded, "where is Izuku if he's not dead?"

She didn't know how Katsuki would react, but hoped he would come out of his stupor.

"We had an argument." Katsuki's face twisted into one of conflict, "and he got mad at me… so I don't know."

Inko turned her head away from Katsuki and lifted her hands to cup her face as she let out a few sobs before turning back to Katsuki. And gaining her resolve back.

"You're telling me he's alive but you don't know where he is?"

Inko didn't believe one bit of what he was saying. She couldn't, wouldn't believe it.

"... Yeah." Katsuki's tone was one of defeat.

Inko rubbed her eyes.

"What…? I… Katsuki." Inko had never more been conflicted in her life than she was now. Well, except when it came to Izuku's father. "How?"

The single word seemed to simultaneously stun and anger Katsuki.

"I don't fucking know, okay? The stupid idiot is alive and he's angry at me, I don't know why or how. I just know he's alive. "

His breathing started to become more frantic and uncontrolled.

Nothing he said should have made even a sliver of Inko's being believe him. But, with how emotional he was getting and his desperation to be right… Inko could tell. Katsuki wasn't lying to her. He was lying to himself.

Her demeanor changed.

"Katsuki." Her voice became much softer, "I need you to listen to me."

That didn't seem to capture his attention, so she switched to a different technique.

"I need you to breathe with me. In and out. In and out."

It took a few seconds, but soon enough, he started to breathe in tune with her.

Inko had so many questions, she felt as though what was once a simple problem, now had an unsolvable variable added and now the equation can't be answered.

Katsuki was overwhelmed, and justifiably so. He hadn't agreed to visit Inko to discuss if Deku was alive or not.

He visited her for comfort.

Her comfort, not his own.

He knew she was carrying a lot of emotional baggage, some that had been unpacked. But, somehow he had neglected two large suitcases of his own , which became a functioning roadblock for both of them.

"Inko." Katsuki said, even though he hadn't fully caught his breath yet. "I don't care what you and the old hag have to say, but I know Deku is alive. For some fucking reason the rest of the world doesn't believe me, but fuck that."

"K-Katsuki?" Inko had meant to sound confident, but she sounded more scared and confused. "Have you ever spoken to anyone about this?"

Katsuki straightened his back. His posture was composed, but Inko could see his eyes darting around, searching for an exit. If you really looked, you could even catch a glimpse of tears building in the corners of his eyes, threatening to fall any second.

After all, this was a sensitive topic.

For the both of them.

"What do you mean?"

"A therapist?" Inko was shrinking away from Katsuki. By watching their body language anyone would assume Katsuki had the power in this situation, but in reality, Inko was the one holding all the cards.

"Therapists are stupid." Katsuki murmured, "and do you really think I'm crazy. Do you think I need to see a therapist?"

Inko's eyes widened in fear. She wasn't scared of him, she had known Katsuki since he was in diapers. Instead, she was feared for him.

"No. It's just… death is a traumatic event and it seems you've had a hard time coping." Inko was trying to put it as lightly as she could.

"STOP!" Katsuki yelled out, angrily. "Stop saying he's dead! IT'S NOT TRUE!"

Whatever fragile dam inside of Katsuki broke as tears started to flow freely down his face. Inko was panicked.

What was she supposed to do now?

She had debated calling Mitsuki or Masaru, but that might make the situation worse. This was something she was very new to… and as crazy as Katsuki seemed, Inko could see past his cover. He wasn't trying to hurt anyone, to bring up the past in a negative way, or to give false hope.

He was trying to convince himself of something that could never be.

Inko knew Izuku was dead.

There was no way he wasn't. But, she had to help Katsuki realize this.

"Look. Katsuki, look at me."

He raised his head to look Inko in the eyes.

"I don't know what's going on here, but I want you to trust me. I want to trust each other. So, how about we… go to therapy together?"

Katsuki sniffled a little bit, but generally looked confused.

"Now, I don't mean being in the same room, but at least trying to go together."

"Have you been to therapy at all?" Katsuki's voice interjected.

Inko thought for a moment.

She really hadn't ever gone to therapy, the idea always seemed odd to her, but she knew that her and Katsuki were trying to protect each other. And the solution for them to do that would be to both go to therapy.

Inko shook her head.

"No, I haven't."

Katsuki seemed a little taken aback by her claim.

"Fine. I'll think about it." His features relaxed a little bit.

If she really wanted to, Inko could press and question Katsuki more on what he meant by Izuku's not dead, but she knew that it would be fruitless. And, frankly, it was time to move on from all that emotional turmoil.

"How is UA going?" Inko asked as she changed the topic entirely, "I want to know all the details!"

Katsuki brushed himself off, thankful for the quite obvious topic change. He didn't want to be called a liar or crazy anymore. It was frustrating that no one believed him… not even Inko.

He misplaced his trust in her for sure. He thought of all people, she would understand. But of course no one did.

Even though she was lying about Deku being dead, he shouldn't have said anything.

Inside, he silently kicked himself.

But, he began to speak about UA, and tried not to give away too many details.

It was uncomfortable, talking about UA. It was almost like someone was watching his every move and hyper analyzing what was about to happen. No. That wasn't right. It was more like thousands of ants were crawling all over his body.

Katsuki started to flinch and twitch a bit to ease the discomfort he was feeling, but it wasn't much help. He just wanted to leave. Talking to Inko was too much, but he had to endure or else she would question him more than she probably already was.

"And coming up is the Sports Festival" Katsuki finally finished after a few minutes.

"I bet you'll do super well with your quirk!" Inko clasped her hands together and smiled hollowly. Katsuki could tell she didn't completely mean it. After all of the damage his quirk had done to her family, why should she?

"I'm not using my quirk." Katsuki grumbled, "So don't expect that from me."

"What?"

"I'M NOT USING MY QUIRK." Katsuki emphasized each word. It was a bit disrespectful, sure, but he was done talking about his quirk and all of the shit that came with it.

"Why?" Inko's voice was quiet and she cast a bewildered gaze at Katsuki.

"It only causes destruction and pain… you should know best." Katsuki whispered the last part as he cast his eyes down.

The pair walked in silence with a heavy tension in the air. Katsuki didn't expect Inko to respond at all, but he heard her voice after a pregnant pause.

"I don't think that's good."

"And why the fuck not?" Katsuki winced at his own harsh tone, but it was too late to take it back.

"Izuku wouldn't be happy."

It was a low blow to mention what Deku would want. Katsuki was already too familiar with it, and it was killing him inside to be reminded every second of his failures.

"I know that!" Katsuki snapped harshly. "I know, okay?"

Inko seemed hurt, and at a loss for words. She stared off, almost in a trance, as her footsteps treaded lightly on the floor, similar to the words she had shared with Katsuki.

He was wringing his hands now, not in the right mind to apologize, but unknowing of what else to do. Inko suddenly stopped, and started to turn down an alley adjacent to them.

Katsuki looked at her confused, before following her.

"Katsuki." Inko began, not explaining why they were suddenly walking in an alley.

He nodded slowly, features scowling naturally.

"I need you to listen to me now."

Katsuki felt panicked and uncomfortable. He couldn't do this, but he had to. The feeling he had before had only worsened as Inko's intense analytical gaze permeated him. His breaths were frantic and hurried, and he had no choice but to nod at Inko's words.

When she got a confirmation, she sighed slowly, and started to speak.

"I know you have no interest in being a hero, and you're not in the heroics department. But, you used to long for it. I have seen so many kids grow up with one wish in their hearts. To be a hero. And not one has made it, it's always been the hopeless dream of many. I knew Izuku could never do it, call me pessimistic, but the world wasn't ready for a Quirkless hero. You were different. You were so confident and you had the quirk to back it up, I was so sure you could be a pro hero and save so many. Not to mention the care you have for others, no matter how hard you hide it under a guise of anger. I'm still not wrong. Your quirk is truly a blessing, and I can't tell you how many times I had to hear Izuku gush about Kacchan this, and Kacchan that."
Katsuki winced.

"Izuku may have been obsessed with heroes and All Might, but there was one hero that was his favorite, his best friend Kacchan. I know you two didn't have the best relationship after Izuku was diagnosed as Quirkless… and I guess things started to become different after that. But one thing I do know is that for Izuku, number one was always synonymous for Kacchan."

Katsuki could feel tears rolling down his cheeks. He didn't deserve any of it, he wasn't worthy of Deku's love and compassion.

Inko looked over at Katsuki with wet cheeks as she pulled him into a hug.

"I know it's hard, but I can't see someone else I care about go down the same hole."

Katsuki and Inko cried into each other's arms, in a dark and dingy alleyway. It was a pitiful sight, but neither cared much for that. They only cared for one thing - Midoriya Izuku.

Katsuki and Inko spent the rest of their walk back to Inko's hotel in silence. (Katsuki later figured out that the alleyway was a shortcut to get back to the hotel.)

"Come on up for a second, I have something to give you." Inko said to Katsuki in front of the hotel, as she took his cup of tea from him. Katsuki nodded before following Inko back up to her room.

Once inside, Inko motioned for Katsuki to stay at the door before stowing the cups in the dishwasher and running into what Katsuki had to presume would be her bedroom.

After a few minutes of Katsuki awkwardly staring around the room, unshed tears still gathering in his eyes, Inko returned with a book.

"I know I can't convince you to use your quirk. But, I know if anything can convince you - this can."

She handed Katsuki the Campos book that was dedicated to him, and his quirk, solely. He held it in his hands gently before softly flipping through a few pages to see Deku's handwriting scribbled all around.

Katsuki knew he was crying again, but he couldn't bring himself to care as he clutched the book to his chest protectively.

"Thank you." Katsuki managed to choke out as Inko offered one of her forgiving smiles. Katsuki knew he didn't deserve it, or anything Inko had done for him, but he appreciated it nonetheless.

"Goodbye, Katsuki." Inko nodded at him, "And remember you are loved."

Katsuki nodded back instinctively, though he didn't fully believe her words.

"Goodbye, Aunty." Katsuki turns his back and walks out the door, clutching the notebook to his heart.

Inko sighed deeply as the door closed, separating her from the rest of the world. It was odd to be back in Katsuki's company, and she found that his visit wasn't quite as therapeutic as she had hoped. It was unfair to expect someone, wielding such harsh words, could somehow fix everything and make her life seem normal again.

It would never be again.

And, Katsuki's words just rattled Inko's brain even more. With his talk of Izuku being alive… they had both seen his body in person. She knew the state of Izuku best, he had been the only thing on her mind since the first time she saw him in an ultrasound.

It hurt too much.

She didn't even know if he died happy. She didn't know a lot about Izuku, as he started to hide more and more of himself as he'd grown up. Inko knew he didn't want to worry her, but she could tell when something was off with him. If only she could tell what it was, if she could help… then maybe Izuku would still be alive.

Inko gasped and covered her mouth as more tears flowed down her cheeks. Her room was warm, yet she still felt herself shivering.

Inko was shaken from her thoughts when a loud ringing sounded, startling her. She brushed herself off before walking to where her phone was vibrating and ringing on the counter.

Mitsuki

Inko wondered what she would want at this time. Did Katsuki make it home okay?

But, Mitsuki wasn't home, so would she be asking what they had talked about?

Inko decided to stop speculating, and instead answered the call.

"Hey, Inko." Mitsuki's gruff, yet kind, voice rang out loudly from the phone.

"Mitsuki, what were you calling about?" Inko balanced the phone between her cheek and shoulder as she wiped the remaining tears off her face.

"My son."

"What about Katsuki?"

"He told me he was visiting you today… how did it go?" Mitsuki sounded apprehensive, her cheery voice quickly abandoned.

"Uhh… I mean, it went fine?" Inko didn't know what Mitsuki's motive was, "Why?"

Mitsuki ignored the question, and went silent for a few seconds.

"Did he happen to mention Izuku?" Mitsuki asked softly, sending a shiver down Inko's spine as she recalled their conversation earlier.

"He visited so we could talk, of course Izuku was mentioned." Inko had a small inkling on what she was going on about "Can you be more specific?"

"I just wanted to see if you were holding up okay after talking about him." Mitsuki very obviously dodged the question.

"What's this about, Mitsuki?" Inko sighed.

"Did Katsuki talk at all about Izuku being alive?" Mitsuki affirmed Inko's beliefs.

"Yeah." Inko nodded, although Mitsuki couldn't see her.

"THAT BRAT!" Mitsuki shouted, "He shouldn't have brought it up, and he refuses to go see a doctor about his false ideas… I'm sorry you had to deal with him."

Inko didn't like Mitsuki's tone. It was harsh and unforgiving, not what Katsuki deserved.

"I don't know." Inko said, "I really don't know what to think."

The two were silent once more, both thinking what they would say next.

"Inko, I know this is hard and I'm here for you, but I don't think Katsuki is a good person to go to."

"Why is that?" Inko frowned, she really didn't know what Mitsuki was talking about.

"A few weeks ago, I heard Katsuki in his room. He was talking to himself, or what he thought was Izuku." Mitsuki sighed deeply, "And he started saying he was sorry, and how Izuku's death was his fault."

Inko rubbed her face with her free hand, before holding it over her mouth and looking around her room with mixed confusion and horror.

"He… said that he shouldn't have told Izuku to kill himself, and how he was to blame for it all."

Inko gasped and suddenly felt overwhelmed. She quickly grabbed a chair and sat down, feeling too weak to be able to stand on her own.

"What are you saying?" Inko barely managed to choke out.

"Katsuki killed Izuku."

If the whole world came crashing down that instant, it wouldn't have been as bad as the words that came out of Mitsuki's mouth.

Inko once again covered her mouth in horror, the tears pooling up in the gaps between her fingers as a million thoughts started to run around in her brain.

"I'm sorry to pile this all on you... "

"No, you're not." Inko had a lot of mixed feelings at the moment, but anger shone through the brightest.

"Inko, you don't know Katsuki!"

"But you do?" Inko shouted, "If you did, then why is he a murderer!?"

"Look, Katsuki bullied Izuku, and is to blame. I don't know what else to tell you." Mitsuki sounded exasperated.

"How do you know he was the only one?" Inko slammed her hand on the table she was sitting at. It had hurt, and her hand was now red, but Inko's thoughts felt clearer than they had in awhile.

"What?"

"Izuku, no matter what, always ran back to Katsuki." Inko sniffled, "How do you know there weren't others bu-bullying him?"

"I don't know that, Inko." Mitsuki whispered softly, "But I know Katsuki was the one who instigated it… it was him."

"No." Inko clenched her eyes shut.

"Do you think I wanted it to be this way?" Mitsuki yelled, startling Inko, "HE'S MY SON! I never asked for this!"

"And yet you blame him anyway." Inko shook her head and tried to calmly breathe in and out.

"WHY WON'T YOU ADMIT IT?" Mitsuki screamed in desperation, "HE'S A MONSTER!"

"You may know Katsuki, but I know Izuku… or I thought I did. He loved Katsuki… and our visit today, when I gave Katsuki one of Izuku's journals, he looked so happy. I don't care if you're right or not, but I think you should talk to Katsuki before assuming he's some… some bloodthirsty bully. It's been months, Mitsuki. I've changed a lot, and I know if Izuku really is still alive, he would forgive Katsuki." Inko's voice was cold and unsympathetic. She had been through a lot, but she wouldn't stand by and let Katsuki be called a monster. Even if it turned out true.

"Inko, please. Neither of us really knows, but don't just let him… don't just.." Mitsuki seemed torn.

"It's hard… I know. But stop trying to drag down MORE PEOPLE I LOVE!" Inko emphasized the last words. She didn't have the full story, but neither did Mitsuki. This conversation would only hurt both of them even more if it continued.

"I'm sorry, Mitsuki."

"Yeah." Mitski sounded distant, "Don't go trusting him so easily."

Then she hung up, leaving Inko to dwell on everything they just discussed.

It really was a mess.

After leafing through the entire journal as carefully as he could, Katsuki knew what he had to do. He still wasn't comfortable with it at all. And he knew in the end, he would only be letting Deku down, not to mention his family, but he was done.

Done with being scared.

Done with being underestimated.

Done with loss.

And done with himself.

So, in the darkness of his room, Katsuki made a decision that would change his life.

With sparkling palms, Katsuki decided to activate his quirk.