The journey of a broken Hero (copied from AO3)

by unknown4949

Midoriya Izuku listens when Bakugou Katsuki tells him jump off a roof. And yet, Katsuki still sees his ghost everywhere he goes, haunting him, [this was the work of PIGASUS 099 from AO3]

19. Can't Catch a Break

Chapter 19

Izuku was vibrating with excitement. He couldn't believe Kacchan and Nozomi were finally given the chance to meet one another! He had found Nozomi exactly where she said she would be and after much apologizing on his end, he had brought up the idea of meeting Kacchan. She immediately knew who he was talking about, having seen the entire Sports Festival (even questioning why he had shown up on camera, which he had to dismiss and make an excuse for). Afterwards, Izuku even promised to help her continue her search seeing as she was afraid to go on her own now that she knew Izuku was there to help her.

All of that aside, it was finally time.

The cute little girl he had quickly befriended who was in a similar situation as him was going to be meeting his best friend. All the possibilities made him glow, especially considering how much of a fan Nozomi already was of Kacchan through his Sports Festival performance.

Kacchan had just finished his classes and once Izuku got him to come over, a slow fear started to grow in him.

What if he didn't like Nozomi or acted too harshly with her?

But he brushed those worries aside, he had to have trust that Kacchan would end up treating her well and bring her joy. She was certainly as overjoyed as Izuku was for this meeting, (also probably because Izuku promised to help her find her parents after introducing the two)

He had just told the other boy there was someone he wanted him to meet, and pulled Nozomi forward and used his arm to guide her forward, their hands intertwined.

"This is Nozomi, she's just like me." He grinned brightly, assuming Kacchan would know what he meant by those words. Just like him, meant under the same conditions, a ghost, in terms of what could be best understood.

After introducing her, he watched for some kind of a reaction. Any indication of an emotion which had changed on Kacchan's face, something hopefully more positive than negative. However, as the seconds ticked on, the only emotion he could read was confusion.

In turn, it confused Izuku. Nozomi was right there, right in front of him, did he have no respect to greet her properly? Or was he just so shocked that another person excluding Nana that Izuku could relate to was out there?

Izuku wanted to believe that was it. Because of the shock of this revelation, he became paralyzed and wasn't quite sure how to greet the little girl. Yet, Izuku's gut told him that wasn't why Kacchan had that reaction… it was something else. Something Izuku didn't want to even think about in fear of rejection.

"Mr. Kacchan?" Nozomi asked, placing the hand that wasn't held in Izuku's bigger hand, to the corner of her mouth, not understanding why he had yet to give a response.

Her prodding did absolutely nothing to change Kacchan's behavior.

He was frozen in time it seemed, almost as if he didn't even recognize that Nozomi was there. When she spoke, he couldn't even look at her. Was he afraid because of Izuku's new abilities he had discovered during the Sports Festival and thought Nozomi might have them too?

But all of those ideas and worries came crashing down with a few words.

"Nozomi, who?" He scanned around Izuku, eyes never meeting Nozomi or focusing on her, "I don't see anyone."

That's when it all changed.

To be completely honest, Izuku didn't know what to do.

He knew he had to clarify what Kacchan was saying, did he really mean it?

"Are you sure? She's a small girl." Izuku motioned to where Nozomi was, disconnecting their hands, "This tall, she's standing right here."

"No, nothing at all."

"Could you hear her at least?" Izuku desperately asked.

"Haven't heard from anyone but you, damn nerd." Kacchan sounded confused about the questions, but his tone was laced with pity for Izuku.

Suddenly he felt like crying.

His feelings of worry for acceptance and excitement at the chance for Nozomi to make a friend, for Kacchan to have another basis for understanding Izuku had crashed under his fingertips just as he reached out to grasp them.

Those few words changed his life. They changed his perspective on his situation, changed how he could understand the world in terms of who he is and what he is, changed how he saw the lines of Kacchan's world and Nozomi's world, blurred through him.

Who knew such small words could cause such a great catastrophe? It was as if all the issues building up inside of Izuku had finally found the right chance to spill over. Kacchan had finally given him an excuse to realize his emotions, how much he had been suppressing them, and what he truly wanted.

He had never asked for this life, this life after death. Especially when he was truly alone… None of the people he cared for could connect in the ways he wanted them to. Kacchan couldn't see Nozomi. I made him feel useless, like no matter what he did the world of the living and the world of the... Ghosts? Deceased? Whatever you call them, would never be able to converge.

Damn it.

Why'd it have to be like this?

Why couldn't he just run away to the sacred playground he used to go to when life was so much simpler. Back when Kacchan actually cared outside of his guilt and he was alive to enjoy everything to the fullest. Why couldn't he run and never look back, it's not like Kacchan would acknowledge Nozomi anyway.

He was stuck with an adorable kid who didn't understand a lot of things and a grumpy teenager who understood too much. It was a complicated problem because it seemed so simple, he would be a portal between them, between the two different worlds they occupied. but Izuku didn't want to do that, no. The only thing he really wanted to do right now was flee in embarrassment.

Embarrassment, shame, despair, millions of emotions swirled inside of him the second Kacchan echoed the words "I can't see anyone." They too were mixed into the storm that was his thoughts, throwing him off balance and sprouting up tears in the corners of his eyes.

He really wished he could be a ghost now, just disappear before he made more of a fool out of himself. Kacchan probably saw him as crazy, especially after how excited he had gotten about the surprise and how high-spirited he sounded to tell him about it.

All of that had sunk.

He just felt bad now.

He was going to say something, play it off as a joke and maybe explain to Nozomi later how it didn't work out, or maybe he would tell Kacchan he was testing something out, that way the topic would be changed easier.

None of it put a good taste on Izuku's tongue, he hated lying to people he cared about. It had never gotten him anywhere and he wasn't particularly good at it either, so trying now would cause a disaster.

Luckily for him, Kacchan spoke once more so he didn't have to.

"Can she see me?" It was soft the way he said it, more gentle than he had ever previously spoken, something Izuku wasn't prepared for.

"Yes!" Nozomi spoke excitedly, not understanding the situation fully to realize that she couldn't actually be seen or heard from the blonde boy.

Right, he had to wait to explain it to her so he wouldn't look like a madman in front of Kacchan… That would only make him look like the insane one and Nozomi wasn't stupid by any means, he had no doubts she'd be able to catch on.

Nodding slightly to send her message along, Izuku looked down for fear of how Kacchan was going to react. It was almost instinctual, the way he prepared himself for a negative reaction. And maybe that wasn't fair to Kacchan but he was scared of rejection, scared for how Nozomi might take it, and scared for what this could mean for his future and who he was now.

However, much to his surprise, what ended up coming out of Kacchan's mouth was "Hey there." He said it softly once more, getting down on his knees and facing the general direction of where he assumed Nozomi to be, "I'm Bakugou Katsuki, but this idiot likes to call me Kacchan. It's nice to meet you."

Izuku wouldn't lie, his mouth was wide-open in shock. Never before had he heard Kacchan speak so softly and with such kindness and respect. He had expected anything but this, but Kacchan opened up and made both his day and Nozomi's… It was incredible the way he was able to set fire to all of the concerns growing in Izuku's heart and once again prove himself.

Speaking of her, almost immediately her eyes brightened with joy as she sped off on a gurgling rant about how cool he looked on the television and how she was happy she could finally meet her older brother's best friend.

In turn, Izuku did his best to recollect her words for Kacchan, whispering in his ears what she had to say, while leaving out a few things (such as being called big brother by the girl. He felt like that was something personal and clung onto it desperately).

"Wow, my first fan?" Kacchan chuckles, and Izuku frowns a little bit. He was Kacchan's first fan, or did he forget? "Other than Izuku, he's much too biased."

"Excuse you!" Izuku huffed mockingly, drawing a cute giggle from the small girl watching their interactions. He knew he'd always be the biggest fan and no one could take that title from him, adorable and cute baby or no, but it was nice to see Kacchan acknowledge someone who could be counted on as a fan. Someone who likes him because of how he set himself up during the rounds with combined power and logic to only strengthen his battle achievement.

There was always a positive benefit to meeting and caring for someone, so Izuku felt fulfilled in his duty to respect.

"Do the lights, the lights!" Nozomi jumped up and down, drawing Izuku back to reality where she had decided to sit next to Kacchan, oblivious of his inability to see or understand anything she had been saying. But now, she had been jumping up and down in excitement over the 'lights' which were most likely the explosions she had witnessed on the television.

At first glance, it seemed sweet to Izuku and Nozomi's excitement and curiosity had been so pure.

However, after replaying the words, a quick frown from all Kacchan has surfaced on his face, clearly uncomfortable with showing anyone his quirk, much less an innocent little girl who he really didn't want to hurt. He was stuck in a position where he both did and didn't want to show the small girl the 'light.' So Izuku elected to make his decision easier.

He tapped the other boy on the shoulder lightly to get him out of his thoughts, and offered him an easy smile and nod, to push him forward. Izuku knew Kacchan would never harm Nozomi, he just needed to make him believe it too.

Yet even with the reassurance, Kacchan seemed hesitant on using his quirk for something like this. For something that would give beauty to it, change his perception from something that could damage to something which had the ability to heal.

A quick glance was thrown to Izuku, almost as if to check if he really could do it without harming anyone or causing major harm.

Once again, Izuku nodded back at him, adding a few words of encouragement to push him even further, "Look here, it's really beautiful, Nozomi! Watch Kacchan's hands."

He got down on his knees, and guided her closer to the other boy, her eyes twinkling with excitement and promise.

Shaking, Kacchan breathed deeply before his hands lit up with gentle sparks that seemed to float on his skin and glow despite it being afternoon time. The swirl of bronzes, oranges, and yellows could almost make up a fire reflected from a glass ball, perfect for any disco party. It was truly magnificent, the sight of the stifled explosions coming from his hands.

Nozomi took a step forward, as if she was almost in a trance coming from the spark's beauty. Her small arms reached forward to touch them, as if they were floating lights or candies instead of burning embers.

Immediately, Izuku grabbed hold of Nozomi's wandering hands and placed them at her sides, missing the unchanged look of pure anxiousness that was present in his eyes.

"Don't touch it, just look!" Izuku smiled at the smaller girl, and she nodded at him. He didn't know if she would actually be able to feel the burn, but he felt as though it would be obvious if Nozomi got too close to the faint explosions because Izuku would overreact. The product of his overreaction would be to notify Kacchan that something bad happened, and the boy would be the quickest to blame it on himself.

He might be too worried or overprotective, but it didn't matter much to Izuku. He and Kacchan looked out for each other for the most part, even if he left like he was pulling his own weight a bit more, while Nozomi still had so much to learn and Izuku had to do what he could since her parents wouldn't be able to teach her about life, the risks, joys, and all that makes it liveable.

(Izuku wasn't sure if he was actually qualified to be saying this because he had committed suicide, but he would try his best for Nozomi, regardless of how much he could truly believe the words coming out of his mouth.)

Nozomi began to clap her hands together as Kacchan made the explosions fade out, probably unsure how long he was supposed to keep it up.

"Thanks, Kacchan." Izuku smiled warmly and Nozomi followed suit with her own imitation of "Thanks, Kacchan! That was beauty!"

Izuku chuckled, telling Kacchan of her thanks and appreciation for the beautiful side of his quirk, one that had been stifled all too much.

And still, in return Kacchan's returning smile didn't fully reach where it normally did. It didn't go to his eyes, not even close, and with just a single glance into the depths of Kacchan's illustrious eyes told Izuku all he needed to know.

He wasn't sure what he was doing, clearly he was conflicted over showing Nozomi his quirk… but it seemed to go past that. Izuku may have been looking into it too much, but he felt as though it wasn't his quirk usage, instead the fact that he was showing off for a small girl he didn't even think existed.

Because Izuku had to translate everything for her, because their interactions looked fake, because… because what else could it be?

His faith in Izuku might have been strong, but still it was one thing to believe something blindly and another to actually see it.

All of the anxieties that had been raging in his head had returned, only momentarily stunted with the gentleness Kacchan had shown. Now, he wasn't so sure if that had been gentleness or just suspicion and disbelief. He might have read all the signals wrong, he might have thought Kacchan was just being shy and nervous when in fact he had just been unable to process the fact that he couldn't see what Izuku claimed was right in front of him.

Or was he assuming this when Kacchan hadn't even said anything?

Most people thought Izuku still didn't quite exist or have sentience, so wouldn't that mean Kacchan was more likely to believe him than anyone else? Didn't they have unbreakable trust so there was no reason Kacchan would doubt him this heavily?

Unbreakable trust…

Wait just a minute.

Izuku breathed in deeply before breathing out, a realization coming into his mind. It was ironic for him to be talking about unbreakable trust when his own thoughts didn't trust Kacchan enough to think anything other than the other boy doubting him. That he thought he was crazy or maybe even disturbed… yet was't that based off of Izuku's own views of himself?

He couldn't be thinking like this. It was destructive to assume that all of these thoughts were currently in Kacchan's head. And while he felt like his own assertions were accurate, it was because of that belief that he had ended up suffering so much more.

A crack began to form in his doubts with the beginning of this new revelation he had, and the more he used his own logic, the more the fear he had slowly crumbled away.

He just needed to keep breathing and take things into a realistic perspective, one that included the history between Kacchan and him and thus wouldn't always frame Izuku as the bad guy because Kacchan never saw him that way. Or hadn't yet.

After breathing in and out steadily, he repeated to himself.

"Look at the big picture. Look at the big picture."

Nozomi was smiling wide, still able to communicate with someone she had seen on the television and looked up to. She didn't understand why Kacchan couldn't see her, but it didn't matter to her. Kacchan was smiling too, maybe not as wide as usual, but he was gentle and kind with the young girl and even stepped outside his comfort zone for her. As for Izuku, he was proud that both of the people he had befriended could now interact with one another, even with struggle, and that Kacchan's perspective on his world might be able to grow and adapt.

Yeah, he could work with that.

However, Izuku knew that unless he got any kind of confirmation or was really able to set his anxieties aside, they would keep on building up until he could repress them again. That wasn't a position he wanted to be in, he wanted to be free from worry permanently, so he came up with a quick plan.

It would involve asking Kacchan directly, letting him speak for what he felt rather than simply making blind guesses that were heavily biased.

"Hey Nozomi, now that we've seen Kacchan, I have one more thing to ask him before we find your parents." He knelt down and talked directly to the little girl, "Could you stand over there and I'll be right over!"

Izuku pointed towards a few bushes in the distance, away from their current position so Nozomi wouldn't have to hear anything she shouldn't have to, but close enough that she was still in Izuku's sight.

Kacchan had crossed his arms, looking at Izuku analytically as if he wanted to figure out what the other boy was going to ask him. In this instance, a million thoughts could've been going on inside of Kacchan's brain and Izuku knew he wouldn't be able to guess a single one of them.

"So…" Izuku started, the awkwardness of the situation floating in the air, "I'm sure you have a lot of questions… Sorry I couldn't- I mean, didn't prepare you for this."

Kacchan just sighed and uncrossed his arms, which was a sign of improvement from the other boy, "Deku, I don't give a shit. Real or not, it hardly makes a difference to me. Ain't gonna fucking question what makes you happy."

Whether he knew it or not, those very words meant the world to Izuku. Kacchan being his careless and authentic self had given his approval for being with Nozomi, even if he didn;t fully believe and was conflicted by what he saw compared to what Izuku saw.

"Thank you." Izuku knew Kacchan could hear the relief evident in his voice, "Is it okay for me to help Nozomo right now? I'll be with you tomorrow, I promise!"

Kacchan seemed slightly conflicted over his proposal and it wasn't as if he could actually stop Izuku even if he wanted to, so him even asking was something that showed how much he trusted the other boy.

"Fine, do whatever you want, I don't give a fuck." While it sounded awfully hostile, Izuku knew Kaccchan well enough to know that this was him giving permission for their trip in finding Nozomi's parents, who she had been searching for.

Izuku grinned at the boy, not noticing how his lips rose slightly at the sight of his grin. He started to back away, it would be best for them to leave immediately to find both of her moms or else she would grow impatient. She might not be a baby but Izuku didn;t want to deal with a temper tantrum. He wasn't a mom after all and wasn't equipped to handle potential situations like that.

Whatever would happen, Izuku would walk through it with a smile on his face.

An infectious smile that Katsuki had passed down to him because even though he had been a bully in this past life of his, now he was Izuku's biggest supporter.

Nothing else put a smile on his face like that, and he could count on it tomorrow when he'd join the other boy at school for the first time in forever and potentially get to see some of the friends he had made, or as Kacchan would call them, stupid and annoying acquaintances.

It wasn't going to be easy and there would still be tough times for them to face, Izuku realized solemnly. This was simply a break between disasters, time to breathe while the next one was still loading... A setup to paraphrase his perspective. That didn't mean they'd be alone, though, and that thought was what comforted Izuku enough to keep him going through whatever this life after death was, it kept him sane.

And with Nozomi skipping next to him, despite all of the looming challenges and pain, his future looked bright for once in a long time.

---

Katsuki had so many different feelings going through him this past day, he was shocked as to how he hadn't overloaded yet (it was bound to happen at some point). He was confused by Deku, pensive about his 'meeting' with Shitty Hair, and generally unsure about what to do with Eyebags.

However, the first of all these issues could be sorted through very easily, putting Katsuki at ease. He may be confused by the whole scenario and the many aspects of it, but the truth rang clear to Katsuki.

He didn't have a single doubt in his mind that Deku could see Nozomi. He couldn't see her, but everyone else claimed not to see Deku so he was hardly in a position to be calling him crazy.

Katsuki wasn't crazy and so it wouldn't make any sense if Deku were to be.

That itself could consider the matter a closed case, but Katsuki had more to solidify his stance.

Not to mention, the conversations he seemingly had with 'himself' were too realistic, Deku couldn't act for shit and especially not as gentle, attentive, or emotional as he had with the young girl, who could thus be confirmed as real. Or however real she could be in a ghost realm of sorts. Even then, that wasn't the main thing that had Katsuki believe in Deku, it was because the other boy simply needed it. He needed to have something that was for all for him, someone he could help and make a change for that would be acknowledged.

As much as Katsuki wanted, his problems were too large to be fixed overnight, unlike the brat Nozomi who had a solvable problem. That problem was easy for Deku to feel proud about helping with, who was Katsuki to ruin that joyfulness and pride for him?

He wasn't ever going to, and that's how his confusion could so easily be cleared up. He cared too much to let any doubt stop him from fully believing in his best friend's words and eyes.

On the other hand, the second and third issues - Shitty Hair and Eyebags, were not so easily addressed.

By now Katsuki had stepped up to the gate of U.A High School. On the way to school he had been going over the current events of his life to pass the time. Once more Deku was missing, but Katsuki knew he would show up soon into the school itself, his promise from the day before still rang true.

And sure enough, no more than five minutes later a small boy came speeding through the various students who had begun to flood the entrances. It was remarkable how much he tried to avoid any collisions with passerbys considering he had no real conceivable mass.

"Kacchan!" Deku almost sounded out of breath, as if he had to run to get to the school in time. "I made it!"

Katsuki grunted in approval, picking up his feet and following his fellow students into the building. And although there was a pretty prominent gap between him and where his classmates were walking because of his stigmatization, he almost felt like a regular high school kid again, walking into class with his best friend in tow.

Almost.

Barely any time had passed so not only did no one want to get near him, but they still talked about him as though he wasn't even in the room near them. This became particularly prevalent when he began to walk down the halls to get to the classroom.

This time, double as many rumors began to circulate since he did nothing against them yesterday. They had tested Katsuki and he had ignored it because he knew he'd lose anyway. If he threatened some students the rumors could continue and end up being even worse, if he didn't the rumors would continue as usual.

He picked the lesser of two evils, but it didn't make it any less evil. Murmurs and words whispered left and right were wiggling their way into his brain. The only was he could cope was ignoring it or just coming up with better responses in his mind to their stupid fucking insults that couldn't affect him in any way.

"Is that him?"

No shit.

"Apparently he cheated using unregistered Support Items."

He'd be disqualified then, seriously?

"No way! I heard he just threatened everyone so they let him win."

Again, he'd be disqualified.

"Who would do that? How awful."

Not him.
"Didja see him? That's the boy who won the Sports Festival, and get this! He was even hiding his quirk from the entire class."

That was true, but so what? It wouldn't have changed anything but their treatment towards him… Hiding a quirk from annoying assholes in your high school class wasn't illegal.

"What a bastard."

Tell him something he didn't know.

"Asshole."

Right back at them.

"Villain."

That one hurt a little bit more, he would admit, it got him grinding his teeth because he didn't have any way of rationalizing being called such a word. It always got to him because he knew it was the simple truth, nothing more and nothing less.

"Kacchan." Deku's voice called out in the background, but Katsuki didn't even notice.

Who was he to argue with whatever anyone had been saying? It wouldn't change anything and would only increase his own hostility, something that was never a good signal.

All he could do was say to himself "Fuck them all, the truths and the lies."

If he had been anyone else or even from the Hero Course, it wouldn't have turned out this way. What a shitty society.

"KACCHAN." The previous words repeated, filled with an unfamiliar anger.

"HAH?" Katsuki immediately whipped his head around, drawn away from the stupor he held himself in these past minutes. He had only been absorbing in any negative sound and walking forward, not bothering about anything else.

He really had to fix that habit of his, spacing out all the time, it was quite bothersome and in these situations. However, that wasn't his biggest concern right now. The rumors weren't even his biggest concern, those assholes spreading lies didn't deserve any attention.

No, what concerned him the most was the current look on Deku's face. It was a look he had never seen before in his life, one so shocking that Katsuki was thrown back a few steps. While blocking out everything, he had walked near a pretty deserted hallway where the teacher lounge was supposed to be, now empty due to the classes starting, and he was glad for that.

He wasn't sure how he'd be able to take this if they weren't currently alone with each other, Deku staying silent. But that wasn't what terrified him, no.

It was because his eyebrows were scrunched, anger glinting within his eyes, mouth set into a hard line.

Because he looked murderous.

"Fucking hell…" Katsuki trailed off, rubbing his eyes. "Spaced off, sorry nerd."

Just what had he done? Katsuki began to sweat and grow nervous. He didn't think he'd said anything that offending… Deku had never been like this before, it was practically like seeing a unicorn in the wild, utterly impossible.

For everything Katsuki had done to him, the bullying, the targeting, the pain, through all of it remained a smile upon his face. It might have faded over time and been rejuvenated but that was it. The pure rage currently on his face was completely different.

It put fear in Katsuki, real fear that made him shake ever so slightly.

Fuck, but he knew he couldn't just jump to conclusions about whatever had occurred in case that would end up worsening the current situation. His best bet was to run, listen to what Deku was going to say (if he was going to say anything), or try and comfort him.

The first option was a bad one simply because running would do him no justice, the situation was going to crop up once more and he could piss Deku off further. The third option probably wouldn't work either because Katsuki wasn't a comforting person, furthermore he didn't even know what the fuck he did so it wasn't like he could speak about it.

So he waited.

Waited for Deku to say anything (and hopefully soon because while he had been early, class would have started relatively soon and he wasn't in the classroom.)

And finally, he did.

"Kacchan." His tone was dangerous and powerful, bordering on threatening. "You heard what they said, right?"

Wait what?

Katsuki was unsure of what Deku was talking about completely. So it wasn't his fault but the faults of whoever was saying something?

He stared at the other boy confused for a few seconds, mind running through possibilities for whoever Deku was talking about with his anger… When finally, it hit him.

It had been staring at him this entire time, plaguing his mind not even a minute earlier.

"I did, but it's no big deal." Katsuki reassured, sighing "Just some fucking rumors."

Oh shit that wasn't the right thing to say.

"JUST SOME RUMORS?" Deku yelled at him angrily, "Are you serious? They don't even know you and the awful things they said… You're just gonna let it slide?"

Katsuki wasn't going to lie, it did warm his heart a little bit that Deku was so willing to stand up for him and that he got angry for him not at him . It meant a lot, but it wasn't necessary at all. Nothing could change the situation and while Katsuki was pretty fucking pissed himself, the opinions of those extras couldn't care less to him.

It didn't matter if those whom he could've considered friends joined in, all it would do is open up his eyes to the fact that they were shitty beings and he'd leave it at that. Social life be damned, Katsuki didn't care at this point.

"What else should I do?" Katsuki growled, "I can't do shit. Retaliating makes it worse, you know that. Who even gives a shit?"

Maybe growling back wasn't the best choice Katsuki had ever made, but Deku's needless anger didn't make any sense to him. There was no reason for him to get so worked up over this, especially to the point where Katsuki could barely even recognize him anymore.

"I DO!" Deku exclaimed desperately, "I care, Kacchan. You never told me people were whispering things because of you winning, calling you a villain… and… and some- they even said for you… they said- that you should… kill yourself ." He whispered the last part, tears welling in his eyes as he recollected everything he said.

Katsuki hadn't heard that. He only heard the lourdes whispers, but because Deku could navigate without being seen, he heard it all. The petty nicknames, the deep insults, and the powerful threats.

Now he understood why the boy got so angry… For Deku to hear that someone was wishing for Katsuki to do what he had attempted to do, it must've awakened massive amounts of trauma. The feelings he had back then and didn't want to use against Katsuki had resurfaced against someone he didn't care for, someone he could get angry at.

"Izuku, it's okay." Katsuki reassured, voice softened considerably, "You're here with me, right? That won't happen. Those shits aren't worth it, they're weak and will never make it to my level."

Some of the anger melted from Deku's face, laughing dryly at Katsuki's blunt and humorous threat. He just needed some promise that whatever he had heard wouldn't come to fruition, and that was something Katsuki could easily secure for him.

While he didn't mind it if he were to die, he would leave with bitter regrets unfixable and permanent, so he had no plans of speeding up the inevitable process. And he had to continue living for Deku, who couldn't experience all he could.

"However, Kacchan…" Deku began once more, less rage evident in the tone he was using, "That doesn't solve-"

A small chime began to play across the halls, signalling the start of classes and the school day. Katsuki didn't know if the ringing had saved or doomed him, but it definitely lengthened Deku's unmatched anger which was a very bad sign, something to be avoided if anything.

"We'll continue this at lunch." Katsuki called as he started to run down the hallways with Deku in tow, frowning at the interruption. Katsuki could only hope time would cool the other boy off. But, right now all Katsuki could think about was being late to class and having to explain himself… There was no proper explanation for the talk he had been having, so getting there on time was imperative.

Luckily, his current position wasn't too far away from the classroom and he made it.

As he took his seat moments before Cemetoss decided to walk in, he was hit was an uncomfortable realization. No, he would not be able to talk with Deku during his lunch hours, instead he would be trapped in a conversation with the Shitty Hair extra and his posse. The idea itself was daunting and he could not say he was looking forward to it, but if anything it would be able to stall his inevitable chat with Deku that he knew would be far deeper than preferred. If it was Deku it was okay, but he still didn't like it.

Then again, he wouldn't like talking with a few extras about pointless shit either.

The pit in his stomach sunk further.

---

Shinsou wasn't going to say he was particularly good or smart at handling people, especially those whom he had grown somewhat closeish too, (he wouldn't call himself close to Bakugou seeing as he had no intentions to be the other boy's friend, or to make friends in general, it just sort of happened) or at least didn't mind the slight company of. There was a constant battle in his mind trying to get him to focus on what was important, for him to get into the Hero Course, or at least getting a chance to prove himself capable of being placed there. Naturally, it wasn't going to be easy because it was the damn Hero Course for goodness sake, but that had to be his priority.

Not the flimsy and fleeting relationship he had with the potential bully Bakugou Katsuki. Maybe that was too harsh to say, but Shinsou didn't know how else to encapsulate his feelings about the other boy and who he was. In his opinion, it would be most beneficial to just ignore that Bakugou ever existed and that they held interactions. If he clung too hard onto it, tried too hard to figure out the enigma that he was, who could say how futile it would be. Drawing away from his dreams and sucking him into what would most likely be a failed friendship.

Yeah, no thanks.

Although now… He wasn't sure if everything was going to change or stay the exact same as it had been before, no matter how much he wished and tried to erase the past few weeks, it wasn't that easy to forget it all. But he desperately wanted to because of what had recently happened to him, what opportunity had become opened for him. If he couldn't get go of what happened during the Sports Festival and the stain it had created upon his life, the opportunity would slip right between his fingers.

The chance he had been waiting for all his life couldn't end up being fleeting, he wouldn't accept that.

After all, it was the chance to be in the Hero Course at U.A High School.

Of course as mentioned earlier, it didn't mean he was automatically accepted, but he now had a sort of trial period where he'd train to catch up to their current curriculum. And he had to prove himself, thinking about Bakugou would just cloud his perfect concentration.

Man, fuck the other boy. What had he done to help Shinsou anyway?

In the back of his mind, a small voice reminded him of those few moments where he felt less alone, where he felt valued, where he was able to be a normal high school student. It didn't matter anymore though because he didn't want to be a normal high school student.

He wanted to be a Hero Course Student, and now he finally could be. But, to say he expected actually getting accepted after losing so early on would be an understatement, and he wasn't fully sure he deserved it either considering the lack of experience he had in comparison to the other students and the slim application of his quirk within the battleground.

The urge to be in the course but the self-doubt that he belonged there with all the other future heroes, that was something he had to get over as soon as possible.

No one else in the Hero Course doubted they should be there and he couldn't either. That wouldn't stop the intrusive thoughts from plaguing him though, it only made him feel more and more hopeless and pathetic as a hero. And yet, despite all of those concerns he had, his mind couldn't help but start drifting towards Bakugou. He wondered if the other boy had also been offered a spot - or a chance to try out for one.

No, that was ridiculous. He had come first in the Sports Festival, there was no way he was going to be barred from entering such an esteemed class. Even as he told himself that, Shinsou's mind drifted back to the speech he had made at the beginning of the year, detailing how resistant he was to heroes and being a hero.

Most of all he seemed to hate those who thought they had a chance at becoming a hero through the General Studies as if he didn't daydream about his own far away aspirations that could never possibly happen. And with a hidden quirk like that (which he had lied about,something else that itched Shinsou's frustration) why wouldn't he take the chance. To be fair, he could've gotten into the Hero Course already, so almost everything about the other boy's existence served as contradictory.

Damn it, why was he so worried over what the other boy was going to do? It wasn't like he'd be lonely by himself as a transfer into the Hero Course where he knows nobody, can relate to nobody, and is uninterested in everybody. Yeah, it'd be completely fine so long as he set himself out there. And not to build relationships or any bullshit, but to be a hero as he always hoped he could be.

Although… If Bakugou did accept then it would mean he'd have to talk to him at some point and there was no way he could turn down the U.A High School, so they'd have to live with each other in the vicinity. Shinsou guessed that meant he had to start to grow comfortable knowing and being around the other boy.

He just had to repair their relationship.

No, wait.

Shinsou didn't care about that. It wasn't his job, nor was it the other boy's, He wanted to be a hero, not make friends.

He found it a little bit ironic how many times he ended up repeating this in his head, as though he had to make himself believe it, he had to trick himself until it became his truth.

He sighed as he finally made his way to his seat, using the time it took to enter school to immerse himself in thoughts and ignore every other existing person within his vicinity. If he was able to ignore them, he could shut out Bakugou too,

At least, that was the logic he settled upon using. It was efficient and… Nevermind. If he was being honest, it probably wouldn't end up working. Everything always sounded so much better in expectation but reality was like a slap to the face, always stung and never went the way you wanted it to.

Placing his arms on the table in defeat, Shinsou closed his eyes as he rested his head on them, trying not to think at all as he pretended to nap before the start of the period so no one would think to bother him.

If he did end up napping for a few minutes, well that was no one's business except for his own.

At least it was until Cementoss made his entrance into the class, bursting in loud enough to startle Shinsou awake. It was unlike his classmates who had drifted in and out with a quiet lull of conversations, aiding to his rest.

No, this was loud.

And with his commandeering and slightly monotone voice, Cementoss began attendance which led into daily reminders and class announcements. Still shaking off the small bit of drowsiness, Shinsou didn't pay much mind to what was being said. There wasn't anything spectacular that drew his attention.

Well, other than him calling Bakugou out and practically ostracizing him from the rest of the class. But again, that wasn't Shinsou's problem. The other boy had won the Sports Festival, these outcomes were only the product of his actions and Shinsou couldn't care any less about them.

No matter all the familiar patronizing stares, eye rolls, glares, grimaces, and hate he received, it was all something he had to uniquely deal with. Even if Shinsou had been in the same position as Bakugou, it couldn't change their current dynamic, they were separate entities who had no need to collide.

Fuck but Shinsou could so easily empathize with Bakugou and all the attention he had been recently getting. It was just like what had happened at his previous school, and it made him want to do something, do anything. Maybe let the other boy know he wasn't alone, that it was all just stupid rumors he should ignore, or simply reach out to him. But at the same time, he had to remind himself that wasn't something he had ever done or would start to do.

It didn't sound like him in the slightest.

So instead of utilizing any of his options, he was stuck throughout their classes sparing glances at Bakugou and trying to gauge how the other boy was doing. Having someone spiral like he did would be horrible, but there was no way Shinsou could do anything about it… Did potentially becoming part of the Hero Course put him in line for helping Bakugou as a heroic action? Did that count as a heroic action, because if it did then it might be a different situation.

Shinsou winced. He wasn't sure if he was just trying to rationalize reaching out to Bakugou or using it as a way to appear more heroic and boost his own confidence.

Neither option seemed morally sound.

And if Bakugou was to be a hero, would he appreciate what Shinsou intended to do and the ways he wanted to aid the other boy, or would he just bolster himself only?

Heroes needed saving too though, and he shouldn't care about what Bakugou felt about it, because clearly the class had been affecting him to some level with their words and actions.

Damn it. None of that mattered at the end of the day, because Shinsou still didn't know why he even cared. They weren't friends and whatever friendship might have been blooming was doomed from the start, so he didn't even know why he bothered caring or trying. Yet, wouldn't it simply be the right thing to do?

He was trapped in this endless cycle where he thought Bakugou might need some help and devised an idea to fix whatever had broken between them, to mend the large gap, and then coming back to the realization that it was futile and a horrendous idea to even attempt with his awful social skills and lack of motivation to even try to do so.

The rest of his day went like this.

Stealing glances at Bakugou and trying to come up with something, anything that could be said to the other boy, but deciding to give up… Until maybe fifteen minutes later where he thought he came up with an improved plan of action. Hint: he didn't ever. There wee two opposite feelings battling it out and waiting for a chance to act, to dominate and finally let him be at peace.

It wasn't until right before lunchtime when the battle had finally subsided. A choice had been made within his brain, one Shinsou hoped he wouldn't end up regretting. He made a decision about what should be done, he was going to reach out to the other boy and maybe try once more with him.

Admittedly, that was much easier said than done and Shinsou still retained much of his lack of confidence and worries about what he should say and what might happen as a result.

But all of his plans quickly failed as Bakugou swiftly walked out of the classroom, leaving Shinsou behind just as he had opened his mouth and turned to the boy's desk. Safe to say, no other thoughts he had tanked his self-esteem or his belief that just doing the right thing would set him on the path to be a hero, as Bakugou's departure did.

And that was it.

There are those times where you feel sluggish about something - either lacking motivation for it or it was simply something that was too hard to do. If you tried even once and failed, you'd immediately give up.

That was where Shinsou was. He lost his chance and he was content with the thought that at least he had tried, despite everything about no friends he had to continuously tell himself, at least he made a small effort for it. That was more than Bakugou ever tried anyway.

The internal struggle he had was put at rest (that was a lie, it was still nagging him to try one more time, to try until he could feel confidence that he did everything he could to help the fierce boy) somewhat and he figured that was good enough for him. Or could be good enough for him for the time being. Bakugou had become something of an unwanted distraction, one that he could put out of his focus (or at least that's what he wanted to happen.) He was to be a hero, a solo hero who didn't need friends or companionship, he just needed to focus on his plans.

With that, he ventured out to find a quiet lunch spot where he could enjoy his food, in solitude.

But nothing ever really works out the way you have it planned, does it?

Those words became a reality for Shinsou as he ventured to find a place to settle for lunch and reflect on everything that he'd been doing up until this point, when suddenly he found himself being suddenly yanked by his wrist.

An undignified noise came out of his mouth as unusually strong arms continued to drag him away from his desired lunch time and into the nearest bathroom, (don't ask Shinsou why a bathroom, it would've never been his pick with the germs and awkwardness). There wasn't enough time for Shinsou to check which bathroom this was either, causing him a little bit more concern. It wasn't until he heard his assailant lock the door (no random entrances to save him, damn it) and let go of the extreme pressure on his wrist, that he decided to open his mouth and speak out about whatever was currently going down.

"Uh… What the fuck?" He was confused and didn't even know who his assailant was yet, which was probably his biggest concern right now. The other to be finding out why he had been dragged into a bathroom.

First, Shinsou turned towards the person who had tightly gripped at his wrist, his eyes widened in absolute surprise when he discovered who had grabbed him.

"Thee heathen!" A familiar feminine sounding voice affirmed what he was seeing, not a hallucination.

Shiozaki was standing right in front of him and she did not look happy.

"Hello?" Shinsou couldn't say he understood the way in which Shiozaki talked or her bizarre actions, if her dragging him around like this was anything to indicate it.

Shiozaki opened her palms face up and lifted them towards Shinsou, "Thy stubbornest grudge to Bakugou must cease." Her tone was eased and light, as though she was talking about her favorite fruits, not something so heavy.

"It's not a stubborn grudge." Shinsou retorted, curious as to why Shiozaki was sticking her head into matters that didn't concern her at all, "Why do you care though? This has nothing to do with you."

"Someone hath to kicketh thy rampallian." Her tone remained unchanged, airy and unbothered by Shinsou's unwillingness to reach out or do anything.

"I'll pretend I know what you mean, but nose out of it." Shinsou turned away from the girl, heading towards the door to the bathroom (he hoped this wasn't the girl's bathroom, it would be so much more embarrassing for him if it was).

However, before he could even open the doorknob, thick vines blocked his passage, twisting all around to create an impenetrable defense.

As Shinsou glanced back to protest at Shiozaki for using her hair to block his exit (clearly she hadn't finished their conversation, but he was quite done), she spoke "Thou art akin to that of a decaying corpse; only useful for the purposes of giving nature's most useless animals a purpose as a decomposer"

Shinsou was gaping.

What the fuck was that supposed to mean? She was calling him useless for useless people… or was she insinuating that he was going to decay if he didn't address his issues? Her crypticness was too hard to decipher, but at least Shinsou could tell she was getting frustrated by his lack of initiative.

"Look, I don't have plans to talk to Bakugou about our issues that are unrelated to you and don't impact you." Shinsou sighed, restating his points in the hopes that she would finally listen, "Go run off to your Hero friends, I'm done here."

"Thy flibbertigibbet, experience a valorous deed hither, I request thee only to try" Shiozaki explained, "No matter if success be not in the books."

Shinsou scratched his head, contemplating the other girl's words.

"You want me to try, and then you'll leave me alone if it fails?" He asked, speculating on what she said due to him not exactly understanding it.

"Precisely."

That one word was a breath of fresh air for Shinsou, the one thing he understood from her all day. Finally she used something that wasn't mixed with idioms and metaphors.

Down to the root of the matter, Shinsou weighed his options.

He could try to talk to Bakugou once more and see where it led, possibly building their relationship back up or forever crumbling it. If it failed, Shiozaki wouldn't bother him, if it worked they;d probably have to interact with each other more, and if he didn't even try there was a surefire way she would bother him everyday. And the way she could seem so cheery and joyful even when cussing you out through cryptic talking was terrifying, Shinsou would rather avoid it if possible.

Maybe this could be considered some form of stalking, but did it count as stalking when you were spying on your classmate who you wanted to form a connection with but was currently busy so you had no other chance but to lurk and wait for it to finish?

Yeah, maybe that did count. It definitely seemed creepy to him and he was the one who was doing it in the first place. On the contrary, Shiozaki was by his side and she was kind of insane so he could pin this weird half stalking on her, and it wasn't like this was anything outside the usual questionable things she had spoken about beforehand.

Not that the matter of stalking was the most important as Shinsou quickly dismissed it in favor of watching the scene unfold in front of him. He couldn't hear a word from his distance and Shiozaki clearly made a grunt of disapproval because of this, but he did recognize a few faces.

Namely, the faces of the Hero Course students who couldn't take a hint and back down after tirelessly asking him about Bakugou. The current sight got Shinsou to snort, who were the stalkers now? It looks like they had finally gotten a hold of the flaky boy… But wait… Could that mean Bakguou had accepted joining the aforementioned course? It was a possibility after all. Otherwise, there was no reason he'd be wasting his time with those complete dumbasses who were only good for constant nagging.

Or maybe they were just there to prove Shinsou's past worries true- to take advantage of Bakugou and use him in some way. It wouldn't be unexpected for that to occur, in fact it was almost expected.

And maybe that way of thinking just scratched at the basis of their personalities and was formed only using his experiences, but Shinsou thought it was enough to be wary of them.

Regardless, he felt like quite a snoop at this particular moment, spying in on the other boy's conversation even if he couldn't hear it.

Sighing, Shinsou turned back towards Shiozaki and away from the situation in front of them, "We can just come back later." He didn't want to be found out and make the potential situation worse, additionally he just wanted to enjoy his lunchtime and eat some food.

The glare Shiozaki sent him for suggesting such a thing was enough for him to shut up though, not daring to enter an argument with the clearly angry girl.

It was more effort than it would be worth.

Still, every muscle in Shinsou's body was telling to get out of there and leave the situation alone. To pretend as though nothing had happened between Bakugou and him, a blissful ignorance towards each other's actions and motives.

Damn it, it seemed like Shiozaki and his consciousness were working with each other against him here because neither of them would let him go so freely without repercussions.

He was essentially stuck.

And what better way to use the time he had than to watch whatever was happening with Bakugou and his new friends. Turning back towards them with a huff, he saw that nothing had changed between the split seconds of his protest to Shiozaki.

The red haired boy was still talking, looking somewhat shy in his approach while the boy with shocking yellow hair looked pretty pissed. The other two, the pink girl and plain black haired boy, seemed uncomfortable by the current events.

Just leave it up to Bakugou to be able to stir such complicated emotions in the people who had sought him out. Complicated emotions that may or may not lead to him getting harsh words thrown at him or even a punch or two.

It wouldn't surprise him if it came down to that, seeing as there have been a number of times Shinsou had been tempted to just straight up sucker punch the other boy right in the jaw.

If only.

He chuckled and continued to watch from the shadows. It wasn't until the yellow haired boy started to grow obviously agitated that Shinsou turned away. He didn't feel as though it was within his right to be watching this interaction anymore, too many emotions that he didn't understand the cause of were being thrown around. Instead, he slumped down on the floor, facing forward, not peeking backward.

"Nudge me when they're done." He tapped Shiozaki, whispering it quietly so he wouldn't draw unwanted attention.

"Scoundrel." Shiozaki hissed at him, but she nodded anyway.

She just had to add an insult in there, didn't she? Shinsou shook his head sardonically, closing his eyes a moment later in the hopes of passing time quicker.

It seemed like just two seconds later when he felt immense pain climb up his arm.

His eyes shot open, whipping immediately to inspect his injured arm and hand. On top of his precious limb was a foot.

Not just any foot, but Shiozaki's foot.

Right on his arm.

"What the-?" Shinsou exclaimed angrily, yanking his arm away fast to nurture it.

Shiozaki smiled down at him purely, nothing but kindness on her face, "The devils ought to be punished."

Asshole. Shinsou just knew that internally she was cackling in joy at the suffering he had gone through at her hands and the look of anger on his face. His mistake was asking her to wake him up when it was time and his even greater mistake was actually trusting her.

However, that could be brushed aside for now, for the reason behind her very gentle nudge (with all of the sarcasm intended) was to indicate the completion of the Hero Course students and one Bakugou Katsuki, the elusive bastard.

And so now, it was time for them to make their entrance. Shinsou peeked once more to double check if Shiozaki was just making a fool of him or if the other students had actually left.

Sure enough, when he peeked, Shinsou only saw Bakugou with his back turned toward him.

He wasn't sure if he was talking to someone, himself, or just standing there awkwardly and soaking in everything that had been said. It wasn't Shinsou's place to know either, so he didn't bother, thinking about it too hard.

Instead, he thought about how to approach it in a strategic manner, Shinsou contemplated for a few seconds, how could he come up to Bakugou and start a conversation without looking like an utter creep?

Once again, it seemed he didn't have to do anything, when not more than five seconds later, Shiozaki walked out towards Bakugou. She didn't give him any indication or hint she was going, she just began walking towards the other boy, who had yet to notice her presence.

Damn it, Shiozaki!

This kind of spontaneous disturbance required a thoughtful place involving both of them, one that neither of them were able to formulate if she just walked on out there. As such, Shinsou had no other choice but to step out from behind his cover, and call out, "Hey, Bakugou."

His voice startled the other boy, if the small jump he made in response was any indication, he turned around rapidly with his signature scowl affixed to his face.

He definitely didn't seem happy by their entrance.

"Fucking hell, why are you here now?" Bakugou sighed, clearly exasperated that he had to be dealing with so many people. His eyes scanned the room and counted both Shiozaki and Shinou's presences, an improvement from the past four people who had decided to bother him too. But to be fair, Shinsou completely understood his feelings, not wanting to be here either or have to talk with them about things you could just as easily shut away..

Although this chat they were to have would be considered as the right thing to do and that very thought is what made Shinsou open his mouth and not walk away, he was really tempted to leave, "We just wanted to talk, I didn't choose the timing."

Bakugou stared at him blankly, maybe the other conversation he just had was too fresh in his mind for everything that Shinsou was supposed to say, but it hardly mattered to him at the moment, a conversation was going to happen sooner than later.

"Go on."

Or right now.

---

"So…" Kirishima didn't actually expect Bakugou to agree to talk to him and now he wasn't quite sure what he should be saying.

"Get on with it, I already agreed to this bullshit." Bakugou seemed exasperated, and if Kirishima didn't know any better he'd think this was a waste of time. But, he would prove his manliness and stay positive!

"Right away, Mr. Anger Issues," Kaminari sarcastically murmured much to Kirishima's chagrin. It wasn't the time for that attitude, and all he could do was hope Bakugou didn't hear it.

A quick glance confirmed it, and Kirishima let out a sigh in relief. "I, well all of us, really wanted to thank you for what you did back at the USJ. It was pretty manly of you."

"Manly?" Bakugou looked confused, but before he could go any further, he was interrupted.

"All boom boom, Blasty Man!" Kaminari acted it out a little bit, missing the slight wince Bakugou gave him, "I thought you were an asshole, but now you're a cool asshole."

Mina started laughing, "Ignore Kaminari, he's a dumbass." And needs a little bit of help with his timing, "You had no obligations to, but thanks for sticking up for us."

Kaminari sends him finger guns.

"Uh… sure?"

This wasn't going as well as Kirishima had planned, but Bakugou was still here so he figured it was better than nothing.

"One thing," Sero scratched his cheek, "Why'd it take so long for us to track you down, dude? Our thanks would've been a lot more timely."

Bakugou grunted before pointing his finger straight at Kaminari.

"It would've been too soon if I could have this idiot stay away from me forever."

"Wow, thanks man." Kaminari put a hand on his heart, but he seemed annoyed.

Mina perked up a little bit at that, "We good then?"

"So long as you leave me the fuck alone." Oh shit, he was looking right at Kirishima, "I didn't say what I said for you, your teachers are just assholes."

"Mr. Aizawa is pretty cool." Kaminari pouted, getting an eye roll.

Kirishima felt pretty awkward in this situation, but he knew from experience that freezing up and running away wouldn't serve any purpose. He needed to stay strong, luckily that's what he specialized in.

"It doesn't matter if you did it for us or not! We're awfully grateful for it." He sent an approving grin in the angry blonde's direction, "Or else we wouldn't have chased you for so long." It seemed like sound logic to him, but Bakugou still seemed somewhat skeptical.

Mina set the final words in stone, pumping her first and winking "Not doing it for us makes it even cooler! You're our hero, bro!"

Those three words seemed to stun the angry glare off of Bakugou's face as their admiration fully sunk in. Kirishima understood what it was like to hear words that could completely change your life, not to mention how Mina had always been good at inspiring others.

Sero gave Bakugou an enthusiastic thumbs up to contribute to their shine of positivity and thankfulness.

"Whatever." Bakugou brushed them off, casting his eyes downwards with what Kirishim thought might be a faint blush of pink on his cheeks but he didn't want to assume or make the other boy uncomfortable.

"That's it?" Kaminari seemed frustrated somehow, or at least unhappy with current circumstances, "That's all you're going to say?"

Bakugou was back to glaring now. "The fuck?"

Kirishima could sense tension growing, he didn't want Kaminari to mess this up for them because it had taken them so long to get ahold of Bakugou and for him to be agreeable enough to actually talk and listen to them.

Something that might never happen again if Kaminari kept going down the route he was going.
"Alright, that's enough." Kirishima interjected, "We don't need any acknowledgement, Bakugou did something manly and we're here to thank him. That's enough."

Kaminari then grumbled something under his breath, unintelligible but everyone standing could tell he had said something. And Kirishima couldn't help but want to groan, this was not going as planned… They were going to get in, say what needed to be said, and get out. He had never done well when scenes were caused and tried to mediate that, as much as he wanted to be.

"Dude, don't-" Sero, probably the best person to say anything at this point, began to speak to try his turn at stopping the other boy, but was interrupted.

"Oi." Bakugou spoke up with a menacing tone and death lurking in his eyes, "I want to hear what he had to say to me."

Oh shit. Mission abort.

"I said, you ought to be grateful for us saying all this, seeing how…" He mumbled the last part once more, seemingly exasperated and scared at the same time.
"Say that again." The edge from Bakugou's tone was still there, and had it been used against him, Kirishima knew he would also be a little scared.

Still, it wasn't used against him, so he had full mobility when he tugged on Kaminari's sleeve to get him to stop with the hopes that touch would snap him out of whatever vengeful state he was in.

Instead, he grew more confident. "Seeing how you blasted at anyone during the Sports Festival, I thought you'd be more grateful for a chance to prove you aren't a villain like everyone says."

Bakugou breathed in and out steadily, almost preparing himself for something… and Kirishima feared whatever it could be. What Kaminari said had been a low blow, and he knew it. Kirishima didn't know where this came from, if something had happened during the Sports Festival to make him feel animosity towards Bakugou but he didn't know how to find out. It was naive of him to assume the Festival wouldn't be mentioned, it being the only thing on anyone's mind.

That and the rumors that floated around, most condemning Bakugou and his actions or criticizing how he handled certain movements or battles. That definitely planted ideas in Kaminari's head, the boy not being bright enough to doubt rumors so popular.

With the veracity of the rumors, it was hard to be immune.

And now those infectious rumors had hindered their entire plans of apologizing to Bakugou. Kirishima was worried about the effectiveness of them reaching out to him now that Kaminari had decided to open his big mouth… In reality Kirishima wanted the chance to become friends with the other boy, always seeing him so alone and taking it as a challenge to prove himself. He wanted to keep people away from becoming who he was. And maybe that's what first drew him into interacting with Bakugou to go so far as to chase the boy down day after day, but now he just wanted to understand the boy. So, maybe it was mostly curiosity on his behalf, but there is always the chance of them becoming good friends and that mattered.

He might be too optimistic, especially with the current circumstances, but sometimes it didn't hurt to be optimistic.

First though, he had to make sure this didn't escalate far enough to hurt either person. He opened his mouth in an attempt to drown out Kaminari's words, but Mina beat him to it.

"Reign it in, Sparky. Those are just rumors, and we all saw how he did at the Festival. He was very respectful, it isn't our right to judge his character when we don't yet know it." Her words were wise, but also astounding. Kirishima knew she hated bullies with every bit of her soul, and he would admit he didn't particularly like them either, so for her to give Bakugou a chance when he was made out to be the very essence of a bully made him... happy. Then again, she was an expert at uniting people, bullies or the bullied, past their differences, something he hoped she'd be able to do with Bakugou and Kaminari, even if it was to take time.

"Tch, I don't need you standing up for me, Raccoon Eyes." Regardless of what Bakugou said, it seemed like some of the tension had drained out of him, "Fucking watch it, Shitty Pikachu, you don't know shit."

There was a beat of silence as Kaminari huffed at the murderous blond boy, (Kirishima said that because it really seemed like he was about to murder someone) he probably felt embarassed the way he was being called out for not even trying to be amicable.

Honestly, Kirishima hadn't expected this from the usually joyful and crackhead enigma that was Kaminari Denki. Then again, it just proved how certain mindsets could be poisonous… thinking you were useless would make you useless and believing in strength would make you stronger, giving people chances would make you fair, and not doing so could make you snappy and harsh. If people give in to rumors they wouldn't be any better than bullies themselves.

As much as it pained Kirishima to say that, because it included Kaminari, he wasn't being just in his view of Bakugou. Kirishima was one to believe everyone had a reason for what they do and a story that deserves recognition, so for Mina and Sero to be able to agree with him enough to simply try with Bakugou was super manly.

Not that he had doubted them in the first place, but it still made him happy to see such behavior on display from people he was freely able to call his friends. And while Kaminari needed a little help in that department, well maybe he needed quite a lot, Kirishima knew all three of them were there to help educate the boy who so desperately needed it.

Kirishima would admit, he was disappointed in how Kaminari reacted. As someone whose quirk gave negative reactions often and could be made fun of, you'd think he'd be a bit more understanding. Unfortunately that wasn't the case at all, letting the pointless rumors get to his head. It made Kirishima frown.

"Thanks for your time, Bakugou! We're going to leave you to it." Sero bowed, sensing the tense shift in the room, it had turned from something bitter into hostility (he was always so good at those kinds of things) "Don't let us bother you anymore, and sorry about this dumbass."

Naturally the dumbass in question was Kaminari, seconds later confirmed by Sero's very blunt hand gesture in his direction.

In response, Bakugou only snorte, much to the chagrin of Kaminari. Clearly each time Kaminari got called a dumbass, causing his face to go red with embarrassment, the other boy found some amusement in it. In normal circumstances, Kirishima might've agreed on that regard but it just seemed more petty to behave that way now.

Regardless, the conversation had now been deemed finished by Sero. And Mina was already steering Kaminari away from Bakugou's fangs, looping her arm around his shoulder and silently chiding him for what he said. Kirishima could only guess that in response he attempted to justify himself with pouts, rumors, and frustrations over them calling him a dumbass. Not that it was at all related, but that wasn't the point.

Sero began to follow suit behind them, only reaching a few steps before stopping in his tracks as he noticed one crucial detail..

He noticed that Kirishima didn't follow him.

"You coming?" He asked, turning back to look at the red haired and stagnant boy. He seemed curious, as if he couldn't understand what else there was to be said in this situation.

"No, just give me a few moments and I'll catch up!" If only Kirishima too knew what else there was to be said, what else kept him here. Because he didn't know what compelled him to say those words or what compelled his feet to stay glued to the group and for him to not move a muscle. But he felt as though he had to.

Sero hesitated for a second, scanning both him and Bakugou before nodding and turning back. Kirishima watched as he quickly jogged to catch up to Mina and Kaminari's swift pace so that he could relay the information about their friend's ongoing lateness.

Focusing back on Bakugou instead of on where his friends, who had accompanied him here and brought him to this very moment, had gone, Kirishima was feeling pretty awkward now. Bakugou and him were left alone, with the expectation that he had something else to say privately. However, in all honesty, he wasn't even sure why he told Mina, Sero, and Kaminari to go on ahead without him.

There was nothing left to be said, he expressed his gratitude and Mina had extended him an invitation to join them whenever he felt like it, yet why was there the underlying feeling that he was missing something?
"Now what the fuck do you want" Bakugou almost snarled at him, "I thought I was done here." He definitely didn't sound pleased by the revelation that Kirishima wanted to talk to him more.

"Well, y'know, Kaminari was acting like a dick," That was true, he supposed, but now he was just filling in the silence, "So I wanted to apologize on behalf of him."

Bakugou only snorted in return, "Two things. One, there was no need to say your shitty condolences in private. Two, unless the words come from his mouth I ain't buying that crap."

Damn it, that was fair. He really could've said it around everyone else… So what did he need to say so badly and why weren't the words coming out?

"Ah, well then.." He started speaking again in the hopes that at some point he'd stumble on the right words to say, "I guess what I really wanted to say is that, I want to be your friend."

Bakugou raised his eyebrow, an angry expression perpetually stuck onto his face and Kirishima couldn't help but chastise himself for being so blunt. Instead of wading into the deep ends of a pool, he had jumped right in, no cannonballed in and made a complete mess.

"I probably should explain more on that," He sheepishly continued, in the hopes of salvaging whatever possible friendship could be had, "In middle school, I was pretty depressed. I thought my quirk was useless, I was too weak to stand up to bullies or protect others, and I had low aspirations."

"Didn't ask for your fucking life story." Bakugou grumbled, crossing his arms over his chest, but Kirishima decidedly ignored him and continued on.

"I remember one day particularly well. A villain came through and was terrorizing some girls from my school, but no matter how much I wanted to help, my feet were glued to the floor. I couldn't do it." He sighed, the exact feeling still haunting him to this day, "Someone else came in to rescue them and I felt so damn pathetic. But then, I was able to discover someone who changed my life."

"... And that was?" Bakugou asked tiredly when Kirishima didn't continue.

"Crimson Riot! He's an incredible hero who, in an interview, taught me that being manly is what matters. The fear, the hesitation, all of that is natural but it's worth it to save lives even in danger."

"Alright, you fucking fanboy, I'm going to stop you there." Bakugou uncrossed his arms, impatience clearly growing if judging by his tone. "What's the point in telling me all of this?"

Honestly, Kirishima didn't know the point he was trying to make, or the point in telling Bakugou all about his past escapades last year. He was different then, no matter how similar he saw his old self as Bakugou, it didn't excuse his dumping of information on the other boy.

Even then, Kirishima felt like he wasn't in control of his mouth anymore. He was just spouting all about his thoughts, his aspirations, even his lost dreams… Okay maybe that was a bit far, he wasn't going into that much depth into his life, but something about Bakugou made him feel like he could.

He was still so unsure about everything.

However, he had promised himself he would be starting anew this year with friends and with his own self image and building.

"Well, to cut it short: you remind me of how I used to be," Kirishima said it. He said what he had been thinking all along and what led to his pursuit. However immediately Bakugou tensed up and was seind death glares his way, so he did his best to remedy it at least a little. "Not to say you're weak, far from it, chill out man."

Bakugou gave him a pointed look.

"I mean in the way you interact like everything, almost as if you're afraid." Kirishima supposed, "Not an insult, just saying you seem lonely and I understand how hard that is."

Bakugou grunts, "Didn't need to tell your whole life story for that."

Slowly, Kirishima is falling into an ease of conversation with Bakugou. He is comforted by the gruff words just as much as he fears them, "Maybe not, but I kind of felt like it." He laughs lightly.

"Whatever, loser."

He was making improvements with the other boy, no matter how small it appeared to be, it was there. This time he didn't get cussed at all, so he could consider it progress.

Kirishima nodded, a faint smile visible on his face. He wasn't quite sure what was going on in the other boy's mind after hearing Kirishima's story, but he was beyond the years where it would plague him day and night. Instead, he would just not give up on building a connection with the other boy, reaching out as he wished someone would've.

"Like Mina said, stop by anytime." He added, "I have full intentions of becoming your friend, man!"

He stretched out his closed fist for a fist bump that never came. Strangely, Kirishima didn't mind it so much. After all, he too felt like he had made some form of improvement, coming out of his shell and being able to speak his mind was something he had never done before.

It was pretty nice.

So if Bakugou ignored his fist bump, he'll just make sure he doesn't do it again next time.

But, holy hell, was it nerve-wracking as fuck. Kirishima felt like he could've gotten killed five times over the duration he had stayed to talk with the other boy, but in his eyes it was definitely worth it to be able to grow both him and Bakugou, if he was even able to.

He was just content with the idea that he might have gained a new friend and that one less person would be lonely out there.

Crimons Riot would be proud of him, and that reassurance was all that was needed for Kirishima to chuckled and instead wave at Bakugou, walking away from the other boy as his footsteps echoed slightly through the hallways.

---

Katsuki had just finished talking with Shitty Hair and his weird group of friends. It was almost as if none of them could reach a consensus of what they wanted, Knock-Off Pikachu coming close to cussing him out, Pinky trying to act as a moderator, Weird Elbows not really doing anything, and Shitty Hair being way too enthusiastic about meeting him.

"Aw that was kind of sweet!" Deku exclaimed from where he had been standing, watching the interaction the entire time, "It's good they want to be your friend."

Oh right, that.

Katsuki turned to Deku, "Just one, and his reasoning is fucked up."

"Is it?" Deku asked, "What makes good reasoning then?"

"Staying the fuck away from me."

Deku started to chortle, he probably expected that kind of answer but it was amusing nevertheless.

But suddenly, it seemed as though he remembered something and his face hardened, "Right, Kacchan, we still need to talk about what happened earlier today."

"Hah?" Katsuki didn't know exactly where this was going to go. Was it the rumors? That was the most likely option.

Seconds later, Deku confirmed his thoughts, "With the rumors, we didn't get a chance earlier. It's sick, you even saw how that boy was influenced by them, you can no longer say it's okay."

He did have a point admittedly, but someone calling him a villain wasn't enough to do any real damage, those words have never become actions against him and even if they were, he was the fucking winenr of the Sports Festival he could hold his own.

Deku was just making mountains out of mole hills in his concern.

If the rumors had gotten to him, then he'd be the one who lost. The rumors were nothing more than a provocation that Katsuki would usually be more than happy to take… He just didn't have the motivation to go after so many people, maybe it was a sign of change.

But of course, the moment Katsuki opened his mouth to recount this to Deku, a couple of extras walked into the secluded area and decided they also wanted to have a chat with him.

Fuck this.

"Oh!" Deku exclaimed, (he was probably pissed at getting interrupted so many times and Katsuki couldn't blame him) recognizing both Eyebags and Plant Girl from their past interactions. If only he knew that these two were the people Katsuki wanted to see the least at this moment, he had been getting rather good at avoiding his problems and their entrance had just ruined that for him.

This was such a pain in the fucking ass, Katsuki had turned back around to face the two as they began whatever it was they were going to say to him. More empty words with even emptier promises to back them up.

"So…" Of course Eyebags started with absolutely no clue on what he was going to say, "I'm here to apologize for what I said during the Festival. I could tell it got to you, but it's the only thing I could think of to-"

"Are you gonna apologize or make shitty excuses?" Katsuki interrupted pedantically. If he was going to apologize, he wanted a good apology, not some half-baked excuse trying to justify his actions.

"Kacchan, let him talk." Deku berated him, but he seemed a bit exasperated too, if not more that Katsuki was.

"Right." Katsuki could tell Eyebags was seconds away from just rolling his eyes and leaving, but something compelled him to stay, "You know what? Maybe you are a bully, or were one. Maybe I was right or maybe I wasn't. That doesn't matter, what matters is that I judged you unfairly, for that I'm sorry."

Not half bad. If he was going to say anything at all, he picked the right things to say. It wasn't particularly offensive and didn't seem like he was just lying for pleasantries and to swipe everything under the rug.

Deku seemed to smile softly too in an approval over the mending of their relationship and what he had said about his apology.

"Tsk." Was his only response to Eyebags' words, unsure about what else could even be said in a conversation with him. He had no basis of acceptance to work on and thus minimal interaction would be the best call.

"Kacchan, he's putting an effort in." Deku called him out on it, he knew Katsuki too well, "Why don't you try to as well?"

It was a shitty idea, Katsuki working on mending what was a doomed relationship between two people who were too stubborn for their own good. As such, Katsuki ignored Deku's urging, instead thinking about how neither extra had walked away.

Katsuki sensed there was something else they wanted to discuss.

"Wherefore'd forswear about thy quirk?" And Plant Girl said it. It was the question that had been on all of their minds, the question that had sparked rumors and thoughtful discussions, it had rocked his class and his classmates after they had learned he wasn't being fully truthful.

"Do you even have to ask?" Katsuki snorted, ignoring the pointed look Deku gave him for not putting an effort in, "Unless you're blind, you can see what's happening right now."

Deku's brow furrowed as the topic drew closer and closer to what he had wanted to talk to Katsuki with, his growing concern over the boy's wellbeing was sweet but unsolicited.

"I frankly don't give a fuck about what's happening." Katsuki was addressing Plant Girl and Eyebags as well as Deku now, "Wanna complain I lied to you? Fucking do it, try me. Prove you couldn't earn the truth anyway."

"Way to be an asshole about it." Eyebags snorted, "We aren't some random strangers, we are your friends."

Katsuki snorted, since when? Eyebags didn't seem like the person who would freely call someone he didn't know his friend, so this came unexpected to him.

"Friends? I don't ever remember agreeing to that." Katsuki snorted, receiving a scoff from the other boy.

"Eating with us for lunch, having conversations, participating in the Sports Festival as a team." He began to list off, "Would you do that for everyone else?"

Deku glanced at Katsuki,"They got you there. Just admit you're friends and apologize!"

Katsuki ignored the other boy, that was the very opposite thing he wanted to do. Why should he feel sorry that he didn't want annoying extras hanging around him all the time and butting into his business? He shouldn't.

"You've proven you were clingy, so what?" Katsuki chuckled at his own joke, "I don't want you butting into my fucking business, that's why."

Eyebags looked utterly enraged, opening his mouth to most likely begin yelling at Katsuki for everything he had been saying, proving his point even more. But, when Plant Girl's hand fell on his shoulder, his mouth closed.

Regardless of her snark she really did have a calming presence, which she now utilized to calm the situation and both boys down.

"Thee trust us not?" Her voice was calm, but there was a silent rage in her eyes. She too was clearly frustrated by all Katsuki had been saying to disgrace their acquaintanceship.

"I don't know you." Katsuki frowned, he wasn't sure why it was such a big deal. None of them had known each other for that long, they hadn't had any deep discussions, none of them even knew that Deku existed.

Katsuki didn't need friends if they were going to act like this at every single inconvenience or hidden truth.

"That's enough." Deku sighed, clearly disappointed by his friend's actions, "You're ruining your chances to get friends, you're assuming they're out to get you when they are here just to understand your perspective. Please try, for me, at least."

Katsuki hated to disappoint Deku, he hated to make the other boy feel like he had completely given up on life and building relationships. Plant Girl and Eyebags were too nosy for their own good, and maybe Katsuki was afraid they'd drop him when they learned the truth about who he really was.

"Have you even tried?" Eyebags seethed, "Have you ever even just been open to it anyway? I'm sick and tired-"

"Tis not unduly perished." Plant Girl cut in, determination in her eyes, "You lily-liver'd boys, make your bid now."

Katsuki was sure she had just insulted both of them, but her words made him think. Did he want to destroy his possible relationship with the sarcastic classmate and pestering Hero Course student or would he be willing to give it a chance.

Although, was it a chance to be let down or a chance to be lifted up? That was the true question.

Deku told him to try… To make an effort not to ruin his own chances of friendship. He wasn't sure if he could do it though, he would be putting his trust into people he didn't know well enough. He would be walking blindly into a dark cave and assuming someone in there had a flashlight.

"Listen to me Kacchan!" Deku interrupted his thought process, always able to perfectly sense when Katsuki was in distress and accurately respond to it, "These aren' your past friends. They followed you blindly, but Shinsou and Shiozaki don't want to worship you."

The words were like ice water thrown on him.

They didn't want to worship him, they could be considered his friends even before his quirk was revealed. They didn't care about such trivial things, no, they would care about him… He had to believe that or else he was back at square one.

"Look, Bakugou, I'm trying here." Eyebags sighed. "I know we're not friends. But I'm willing to try to become friends and sucking up my damn pride."

He bowed deeply towards Katsuki, extending his respect towards the other boy.

It wasn't that Katsuki didn't appreciate the gesture or the words, but he wasn't sure if he could feel the same way. He didn't know if he was ready for friends or companions, whatever they were to be called.

But as the words said throughout the conversation echoed in his mind, he came to a conclusion. He wouldn't get another chance and e could always leave later on (at the time he didn't realize that leaving later would just make it that much more painful) and be fine.

He really wanted this. Would it be best for him? Who could really say but Katsuki's mind clung to the idea of having friends and people to rely on, people who wouldn't judge him so easily and harshly.

Making his decision, he bowed back to Eyebags.

A grin split out on the faces of Plant Girl and the boy in front of him, standing back upright. This was no promise of friendship, it was a promise to try.

"Thank you." Deku smiled at him brightly, taking in the sight of Katsuki finally deciding to live. Deciding to make a choice in his life that would shape his future and who he was, to build rather than destroy, at least hopefully.

"Hither, nay secrets." Plant Girl announced with a very proud looking smile, "Barriers be as they may obstruct truth."

Nevermind, Katsuki couldn't do this whole friendship thing so long as Plant Girl refused to speak in any other way but her cryptic and questionable manner. He also wasn't sure it would be worth the effort to learn how to use such expressions.

"The fuck?" Katsuki whispered to himself, but he was loud enough that Eyebags snorted at his words, finding them somewhat amusing.

"Alright, fine." Eyebags sighs again, clearly able to understand Plant Girl enough to know what she meant, "No secrets."

Oh, that makes sense. Piecing the words together, it all fit together to make sense like a puzzle Katsuki had been looking at the wrong side of for ages.

"I got into the Hero Course."

Well shit, Katsuki wasn't expecting that. His eyebrows rose as he prompted Eyebags to continue speaking. He could somewhat understand the importance of sharing secrets now that Eyebags had said that, especially seeing as it also pertained to him and his future.

"I'm not in for sure, I still have to pass a test." Eyebags said with a monotonous tone, almost as if he didn't want to give away his one emotions for fear of being judged, "But I accepted it, thought I'd share that."

"Huh," Katsuki mused to himself, thinking about what Eyebags being in the Hero Course could mean for him too. He knew he wouldn't be alone depending on his class placement, but did that matter to him? No, not really. As long as he had Deku by his side he didn't care who else was with him.

"Kacchan, tell them you got invited too!" Deku exclaimed happily, he was clearly more interested in this friendship than Katsuki was, but if that ended up being the only reason he could open up and stick with them, then so be it.

"Alright, alright, fuck…" Katsuki murmured to the nerd, before raising his voice and adding on, "I did too."

"Accepted?" Plant Girl inquired.

"Fuck no." Katsuki snarled and then fixed his tone because he realized it was more hostile than he had expected. "Haven't made up my fucking mind yet."

"Would be nice to have an acquaintance." Eyebags grumbled, going back to using the word 'acquaintance' after enough embarrassment from being forced to use 'friend' to get his points across.

"Thee would maketh formidable aspirants" Plant Girl agreed with Eyebags. Katsuki could tell both of them wanted him to join, or even try to get into, the course. It was a nice sentiment for people to somewhat care about his actions, he supposed.

"I'll think about it." It lacked his usual aggression and hostility, hopefully a sign towards self-improvement.

And that was it.

There were a few beats of uncomfortable silence; they all stood there, waiting for the other to say the first word. Waiting for something to be said that was either a farewell bid or a conversation starter.

It wasn't until Eyebags finally broke the silence.

"So…" Eyebags trailed off, "Do we hug it out now?"

"Fuck no."

"I'd rather perish."

The three of them started to laugh uncontrollably, the image of them all hugging was so unreal that there was nothing else they could've done in response.

Eyebags had an unruly chortle, Plant Girl, a harsh snort (that she tried to cover up with delicate giggles), and Katsuki with muffled guffaws. Even Deku was chuckling at the scene in front of him.

And Katsuki had to say, this was kind of nice.

He could say with finality that standing here, with people who could possibly be his friends, he was content.

However, unbeknownst to the small group, they were not alone in the room.

Too wrapped up in their mental imagery and joyful laughs, they failed to see a dark shadow duck behind a column that was overseeing them. They failed to hear soft footsteps echo away from their position.

They failed to notice they were being watched.

That was their first mistake.