Chapter 3.2
Sunday, April 17th 2011
The morning after my most interesting night with the Teeth so far found Chrissie nursing an Irish coffee on the couch in an attempt to banish her hangover while I strummed away on an acoustic guitar. Chisel's memories guided my fingers as I plucked away at the opening chords of Thunderstruck, filling the lounge with music that seemed to calm even the Butchers. It was relaxing in its own way to simply enjoy a peaceful morning with my girlfriend, even if it was nearly noon.
Between Chrissie and the guitar, I was doing my best to avoid thinking about everything from last night. Amy's sudden appearance and ensuing mental breakdown had been uncomfortable, to say the least, and I was still blushing about the responses from the Butchers about her awkward question. Thank fuck Lisa had been available to help, because while I could see how Amy had convinced herself that one of the Butchers had been her parent, I really had not wanted to see the flood of memories the others had metaphorically unleashed to see if it was true.
So, while I had retreated into my workshop, Lisa had set about correcting the numerous errors in Amy's so-called 'upbringing,' starting with the fact that Amy was the Marquis's daughter, which came with a lot of Amy yelling almost incoherently, and ended with Lisa giving Amy an awkward hug. Luckily, my predecessors had been too amazed with the thought of Marquis having a kid to complain about me giving Lisa and Amy some privacy to talk.
As much as we all hated to admit it, Carol Dallon hadn't been wrong — if that little nugget of information got out, all kinds of people would be coming for Amy's head, despite her being Panacea. Several of the Butchers were demanding I claim her for the Teeth now, even if she wasn't willing to join.
"It's just a matter of time," Knockout mused. "Her old man was a hell of a criminal."
Fester rolled her eyes. "Implying what? That villainy is genetic?"
"Didn't you mutilate people for having a Y chromosome?" Sabertooth asked, trying and failing to sound innocent. That triggered an immediate shouting match that I pushed to the back of my mind. I switched songs, still somewhat awed by my inherited dexterity as my fingers smoothly rolled over into some Queen.
After Chrissie dozed off the night before — which took longer than it should have thanks to the lengthy history lesson among… other things — I settled into my workshop and took stock of all my ongoing projects while also keeping an eye on our newest member. To my surprise, Dinah had actually followed my directions concerning (no) alcohol and had held her own against the Teeth that tried pushing and prodding her. I wasn't totally sure if she was aware of the swarm protecting her just out of her sight, but the Teeth that looked stupid enough to try something with the girl certainly noticed.
My most successful project currently was actually my own; silk production was running at full speed, with Chrissie's new undershirt and pants approaching completion aside from some minor touches. I had been collecting every widow I encountered for the last week just for this production line, and the room housing my spiders was apparently terrifying enough that almost none of the Teeth dared to venture into that section of the basement anymore.
"You should order them to clean it as a punishment detail," Chisel suggested.
Marauder laughed his undeniably evil laugh, which was all the more strange as he agreed with Chisel. "You could have so much fun fucking with them if you did that!"
On the actual Tinker side, I had crafted up a couple dozen new arrows and performed maintenance on all of my guns, including the minigun… though I was still reluctant to actually use the enormous thing due to the lethality it brought to the field.
Butcher scoffed. "Pussy, you've killed before and you've ordered plenty of deaths by now, get over yourself."
"Coil's men practically don't count," Alkaline spat. "None of them were innocent by any stretch of the imagination, so if you're going to get all bent out of shape over murder, at least make it someone worthwhile."
My fingers slowed for a moment on the guitar. While I hadn't actually killed any of Coil's men myself, my bugs and tactical Thinker powers had functionally consigned them to death. A part of me knew that I was supposed to be much more concerned with what had happened, and my role in the raid… but in the moment, that had been swept aside by a flood of anger upon seeing Coil's operation.
Even before becoming Butcher XV, I had a temper. Channeling that anger and frustration into something useful had been a major component of why I wanted to be a hero; now that I was a villain, the only thing that had changed was that no one cared if I worked my anger out on other villains.
Except me.
"Well, and the people you feed to your bugs," Sanguine added unhelpfully.
"They don't care for very long," Ironsides retorted.
I shook my head and focused back on my playing, ignoring the other jibes from the chorus. We all knew that they enjoyed it when I lost my temper, and while I appreciated their help with the Teeth, I wasn't going to give them that satisfaction. I had even managed to avoid killing Emma and Sophia, and it was hard to imagine something being more infuriating than them.
Sometimes it was just all too easy to be the Butcher, rather than Taylor. That thought alone would have kept me up at night if I wasn't already a Noctis cape.
The rest of my evening and early morning had been occupied with a computer and a folder of Lisa's correlated intel on the Empire targets. She took my scouting information, along with Coil's vast network of informants, and refined it even further. From there, I used Stratego's power and my own mock trials on the miniature Brockton Bay to devise a list of targets, roughly sorted by how difficult it would be for a squad of unpowered Teeth to defeat. Chisel had nearly died laughing when she pointed out the similarities to my improvised system and the PRT's threat rating.
Once compiled, I wrote them out neatly on cardstock and pinned them onto a cork board made to resemble a fantasy tavern's quest board — Alkaline's idea, from a tabletop game she had played while alive. I hoped that this would cut down on the general bitching from my capes about my school life, and give the Teeth something to do before they fucked us all over.
"It's a fun idea at least, and should keep them amused for some time," Sabertooth said.
Even Ironsides was begrudgingly happy with the idea. "It was smart of you to list the expected hauls as well as the general dates and times that pickups and deliveries were made."
"Good tactical information is vital to such plans," Stratego agreed.
I glanced at my cell phone, perched on the edge of the couch so it didn't get in the way while I played. Dad had been… less than pleased to discover that I owned it, but it had been necessary when I expected the PRT to show up at my house following my altercation with Emma and Sophia. Two days later, they still hadn't tried anything; and while I hoped that the PRT had been scared into silence, it was technically possible that Dad had simply not called.
"Taylor, if your Dad trusted the authorities that much, would he have armed the union so heavily?" Chisel murmured.
"Not that the authorities exactly give a shit about union members either," Fester spat. "Your mom would have been right there with them, throwing Molotov cocktails."
"It's far more likely that the PRT simply does not wish to provoke you," Damasican pointed out.
"Just look at the carnage you cause as a part-time Butcher!" my namesake cheered, and I smacked him away.
It still worried me that one day I would come home and walk into an ambush — which was silly given my myriad abilities that made that almost impossible — but I had to remind myself that my omniscience was only as good as I was vigilant… and I had messed up before. It was possible to catch me unawares with proper setup, and what better place to ambush me than in my own home?
I almost wished that the PRT had gone to Chrissie's house, as I'd told Dad that I would be spending the weekend with Chrissie's family, doing the whole meet and greet with them and would be back home after school on Monday. I felt bad about misleading him, but it wasn't technically a lie.
The Teeth were her family in every way that mattered.
They were horrific, dysfunctional shits, but they were all Chrissie had before I came along. Her parents could only hope that I never met them in person, because I didn't think I could show mercy to the vermin that had driven my girlfriend to trigger then cast her out to die. That was a reckoning that would have them praying for a salvation that would never come, because the Butcher had come to collect.
I took a deep breath and ignored the awkward twang of the guitar as my fingers reflexively tried to form claws. Part of managing my temper and the siren call of the Butcher's power was to not think about how nice it would be to set Chrissie's parents on fire.
"It's so sweet when you plot murder for the one you love," Alkaline said affectionately.
"Truly, nothing is sweeter," Marauder added.
There are fates worse than death.
"Oooo, look at our little baby Butcher, she's growing up so fast!" Fester said, wiping away a tear.
Jackass.
My bugs picked up movement in the hall, by the rooms our newest members had claimed, which couldn't be Rachel as she was several blocks away, walking dogs. I had only known Alec for a few days, but I was completely unsurprised that he was still snoring up a storm, passed out on Michael's couch with another (probably stolen) TV displaying the menu for some game.
I was surprised by Lisa, who was still in her bed with a certain grumpy healer curled up next to her. The pair had stayed up late discussing things I had intentionally not overheard, and while Lisa had occasionally ventured out for food or drinks, Amy had sequestered herself in the Thinker's admittedly much-cleaner-than-Teeth-standard room.
That meant the movement belonged to —
"Our newest little terror!" Butcher exclaimed.
"They corrupt so fast," Sabertooth added, wiping a metaphorical tear.
"Good morning, Dinah," I said as the pre-cog wandered into the lounge. She grumbled something resembling a greeting as she made a beeline straight for the coffee, pouring herself a cup and drinking it down before topping it back off and joining us on the couch.
She met my eyes for a long moment, and I was not prepared for the weight in her gaze. No twelve year old girl should look like she peeked into hell, cape or no, and I had to fight down the urge to toss the guitar into a corner and pull her into a hug.
I couldn't help but wonder if I also looked a decade too old.
Dinah ruined the moment with a grumbled, "Your idiots can't play cards for shit."
Chrissie snorted, only to clutch her still-throbbing head. "People have rarely joined the Teeth because they were smart. Well, not before Weaver, at least."
"Just because we picked up two Thinkers —"
"It's inconceivable that they would have joined under Quarrel," Damascian said snippily.
"Fuck you!" Quarrel snapped.
"That isn't —"
"In fact, the last time the Teeth recruited a Thinker was when I was in charge," Stratego said.
"I wonder why," I murmured.
"Tay, you're talking to them out loud again."
"That loser? Is he even worth mentioning?" Sanguine mocked.
I groaned. "Just discussing the last time the Teeth had Thinkers."
"Oh, ancient history is one of my favorite subjects!" Dinah said with a level of cheer that had to be faked. Cheeky brat.
"It most certainly is forced," Chisel chimed in, only for Fester to follow up with, "The girl's projecting, hard. She'll need support, and soon."
I sighed, because that was going to be fun to deal with, and pawning off that responsibility on Lisa wasn't fair to her. "Stratego picked one up in New York shortly after the exodus."
"Crackpot?" Chrissie asked, I nodded. "Yeah, Big Robbie had some funny stories about that one. He died two weeks after being recruited."
"What of?" Dinah asked.
"Lead poisoning."
She frowned. "That shouldn — oh."
"Yup, mouthed off to the wrong fucker and got capped for it."
Interestingly, Dinah didn't look all that worried. "Note to self, ask the question before I mouth off."
Chrissie nodded. "Good idea. We might need you to do the same for Tattletale too. Bitch doesn't know when to shut up."
"Rachel seemed quite taciturn to me," Dinah noted.
"Wrong bitch," I said with a smirk — the chorus was loving the byplay and kept adding in their own bits. "Speaking of, I need to get with her and figure out exactly what we're going to do with all of Coil's shit, nevermind actually plotting to overthrow the Empire."
"Can it wait until after I've had my coffee?" Lisa muttered from the doorway. "Amy kept me up most of the night."
That prompted me to take a closer look at the freckled blonde who, while flushed, lacked that particular look about her that the Butchers were all too familiar with. That didn't mean I wasn't going to tease her mercilessly.
"Lisa!" Amy yelled from down the hall, running to the door. "Stop implying something that didn't happen!"
The Thinker frowned. "But you did keep me up all —"
"Talking! We just talked. Stop putting things in my —" She cut off at Lisa's insufferable grin, then let out an adorably angry growl. "You're doing it again!"
"I have no idea what you're talking about." Lisa ruffled Amy's hair before sauntering off towards the coffee pot. It didn't escape anyone's notice that Amy was very attentive to Lisa's flaunting retreat.
"At this rate we may as well rename the Teeth to Lustrum 2.0," Fester teased.
"I'm game to firebomb some Nazis," Marauder said.
"She did know how to throw one hell of a party." Butcher admitted, which was about the nicest thing I had heard him say about another person.
"I wonder, if we neutered Hookwolf, would it actually stick?" Alkaline asked.
I burst into giggles at the mental image the collective summoned at that remark; Hookwolf in a cone. When everyone gave me an odd look, I just pointed at my head and waved them off. Chrissie rolled her eyes and returned to her coffee, and once I got my giggles under control, I switched over to playing some Metallica while wishing I had an electric guitar to do it justice.
"You have the money, just buy one," Chisel said, rolling her eyes.
What, not going to ask me to steal it?
"Support your local music shop!" she yelled, surprising me with the vehemence in her voice. "They struggle enough as it is, don't add theft to their troubles."
"It's the same reason the Teeth never steal Warhammer miniatures or literature," Sanguine added.
Do our minions actually respect that?
"As much as they respect anything else," Ironsides said.
Stratego rumbled in amusement. "It's a delicate balance, but if you smash up your local pub or game store, where are you going to unwind?"
Huh, I'll be sure to mention that next time they get bitchy about not being allowed to hurt civilians.
Amy flopped onto the sofa next to Lisa, nursing her cup as if it were the nectar of the gods. Not that the description was too far off with how expensive the blend was, as the cape lounge got all the perks. She then swiped a pastry off the table that absolutely wasn't stolen from a Dunkin' Donuts.
I continued to strum as we enjoyed the relative calm of the HQ while most of the minions were still passed out. The peace wouldn't last, of course — people were already beginning to stir here and there, but we would enjoy the reprieve all the same.
A subtle vibration drew everyone's attention to Amy, where she had taken her phone in a white knuckled grip.
"It's Carol," she said softly; the terror in her voice sent a spike of rage through me.
Before I could act on that urge, Lisa swiped the phone and answered it. "Hello?" She affected a shaky voice, sounding like she had just woken up.
"Oh, this girl's good," Fester said approvingly.
"Who the hell is this?" the woman, whose voice was quite familiar, demanded.
"Fucking Brandish!" "That arrogant cunt!" "The raging bitch!"
Amy looked aghast at what was unfolding as Lisa kept her at arm's length.
"M' Lisa," she grumbled, "You don't have to scre—"
Brandish barreled ahead. "Why do you have Amy's phone? If you're looking for a ransom…"
"Wha? All I did was — shit, you're her mom."
"I am, and you cannot comprehend the amount of trouble you're in."
"You have no idea," Lisa muttered where Carol wouldn't hear her. "Okay, first thing. Amy's cute ass is in the shower, so you'll have to wait until she's out. Second, I thought she told someone where she was going last night."
"She didn't tell me anything!" We all winced at Brandish's booming voice.
"Alright, just calm down. Nothing nefarious is happening, but it isn't my place to tell you anything more."
Amy was practically pleading for the phone when Lisa winked at her. "She just finished, here she is!"
As Amy took the phone hesitantly, Lisa leaned in and kissed her on the nose, eliciting an adorable squeak out of the healer that was absolutely heard on the other end of the call. Amy glared at the blonde Thinker while she just basked in her own superiority, even if I could see the forming blush thanks to my bloodsight.
"C— Carol?"
"Starlight blue," Brandish snapped out.
Amy groaned and pinched her nose. "Vicky's eighth birthday party. Happy now?"
"No Amy, I am not. You disappeared from the hospital, worrying us half to death. Then, when the call finally goes through, an unfamiliar girl answers. How do you think that looked?"
"Bad?"
"An understatement if I ever heard one. For all I knew, the Butcher had you in her clutches!"
I gently elbowed a snickering Chrissie as Amy glowered at us. "Yes Carol, I'm currently having coffee and donuts with Weaver and the Teeth, would you like to speak to her?" Her deadpan snark was something to behold. "Seriously, I'm fine, I just went to a party last night."
I slapped a hand over Chrissie's mouth as she sucked in a breath to yell something. She began to lick my hand.
"She didn't tell a single lie, but damn, nobody would buy that," Pyro cackled.
"We'll need to corrupt her a bit, but she certainly has potential," Ironsides noted.
She came to us on her own, so I doubt we'll need to do anything special.
"Especially with Lisa around," Fester said with a mental smirk.
"A party," Carol said with zero inflection. "What sort of party is it that you had to sneak off to attend?"
Amy sighed, giving Lisa a searching look. She smiled back and took hold of Amy's hand, offering her a reassuring squeeze. Given what Lisa had told me Amy's true power was, that was a hell of a sign of trust she was offering the biokinetic.
"Wait, she could grow bones! Actual Skull Throne!" Butcher declared.
Sanguine became positively giddy with excitement. "With ethically produced blood fountains that won't offend Weaver's pussy morals!"
Amy took a breath. "The kind where I might have met someone. Or did the person answering my phone not clue you into that?"
I could practically taste the exasperation in Carol's reply. "You met someone." Well, it wasn't hard to see where Amy learned her legendary deadpan delivery from. "What is hi— her. Her name is Lisa. You met a girl."
"Y—yeah. We stayed up fairly late talking —"
"And only talking!" Lisa cut in.
"Not that you'll actually believe that, but it's the truth," Amy finished.
There was a long pause while Carol seemed to consider the admission. "Alright, we'll discuss this when you get home. I'm glad you're safe Amy, and try to keep it that way, alright?"
"Sorry I snuck off like that, I didn't give it as much thought as I should have."
Carol actually laughed at that, creeping out most of the older Butchers with the sound of it. "Sometimes I forget what it was like to be a teenager. No need to rush home, just try to be back before dark since it is a school night. Text me or Vicky if you need a pickup, I'll see you soon."
The line went dead, leaving the entire room in silence in the wake of the call. Lisa caught both my and Chrissie's eyes, shaking her head slightly where Amy couldn't see it. I didn't have any interest in getting involved in that shitshow, Butchers' opinions on Brandish or no, though I was surprised when Chrissie followed my lead and focused on her pastry.
"So, you and Lisa?" Chrissie asked Amy once she finished her donut.
The pair looked up in unison, then at each other, but it was Dinah who answered the question instead. "68.437% chance they'll be dating in two weeks. 84.721% chance in three weeks."
"What!?" Lisa squeaked. "But I… I'm not— I'm ACE!"
"The numbers never lie," Dinah stated, snatching another donut.
Chrissie chuckled and ran with it. "Besides, being ace doesn't mean you can't fall in love, or cuddle or even kiss."
"They're already holding hands," I pointed out, earning a sharp glare from my minion. "So lewd, and in front of a child too!"
"Oh my innocent eyes," Dinah deadpanned. "I have been forever scarred."
Lisa rolled her own eyes. "Yes, such horror you've witnessed. Taylor, I trust you'll take responsibility for your actions?"
"Of course!" I replied cheerfully. "Lisa, give Amy and Dinah rides home."
Lisa blinked. "How is that being responsible!?"
"I'm delegating."
"More like being lazy."
I shrugged. "Besides, I don't have a license."
"How many of your predecessors knew how to drive?"
"It doesn't matter, I'm the one being responsible here."
Lisa threw up her arms in exasperation. "You're a villain!"
"A responsible villain," I said smugly.
I grinned wide behind my mug as her left eye twitched, but the rest of the girls were doubled over in laughter, including Amy, which was nice to see after how broken she had seemed the night before. Even the chorus was howling along with them. Lisa threw her arms up in a huff then retrieved her phone and fired off a text.
"This is why you hire drivers," Lisa muttered. "I know Amy needs a lift, but what about you, Dinah?"
"Not going to cheat with your powers?" the littlest Tooth asked. I smacked Pyro for the nickname while she cackled. Lisa just waited patiently for Dinah's answer. "Fine. Much as I would love to move in here, I do have friends at school I would miss, which means I need to keep up my home life. My Uncle thinks I'm staying with one of them tonight anyway."
Lisa considered that, then shook her head slowly. "You aren't making this easy on yourself, you know that, right? You won't be able to keep this hidden for very long."
Dinah shrugged, though her body language was still tense. "The alternative is worse. I've run the numbers; if I join the Wards something really bad happens in the next two years. If I join the Teeth, the numbers shift dramatically and that bad thing just doesn't show up as often."
"What sort of bad thing?" I asked, trying to fight the growing sense of foreboding.
"No idea, just lots of people die. Now that I'm here, the numbers look better."
"How many of the Teeth die with you here?" Chrissie demanded. "We aren't just pawns here to keep you safe and cozy while everyone else dies for you! That shit won't fly with us!"
"People die. Sometimes more, sometimes less. Death is inevitable. I knew that there was a sixty percent chance my parents would die the day they did. Do you know what that's like?" The girl's confident voice finally broke, accompanied by tears in her eyes. "Knowing that the odds are in favor of that being the last day you get to see your mom and dad? Coil captured me because they… th-they wouldn't listen, and my parents died. Please don't repeat their mistake… I don't w-want to go through that again."
The four of us pulled the now sobbing girl into a crushing group hug as she just let it all out. Even as we held her, Lisa and I shared a discreet glance, Thinker to Thinker. While the Butchers were rightfully wary of blindly trusting capes, they had dealt with Accord for years and knew that Thinkers could do crazy shit, to put it lightly. Dinah's predictions were unnerving, to say the least, and while my gut reaction was to squeeze as much information out of her as possible, we didn't even know her limits much less the quirks of her power.
I shuddered to think what would happen if we groped around in the future, chasing better numbers that we didn't understand.
After a very cathartic group hug where many tears were shed, we eventually broke the circle and sorta stood around awkwardly for several moments, none of us seeming to know exactly what to do after such a vulnerable shared moment.
Lisa cracked first. She sighed — though it seemed less exasperated and more tired — before retrieving two smartphones and handing one each to Amy and Dinah. "These have my and Weaver's numbers preprogrammed into them, as well as a mook I pilfered from Coil ages ago who can be trusted if you need a discreet pickup. Also, Amy, I disabled the tracker on your personal phone and wiped the records server side. You're welcome."
Amy's eyes grew wide in panic as her breathing turned shallow. "Carol was tracking my phone?"
"All of New Wave, not just you," Lisa confirmed. "Their entire account went down and all data was lost due to an error. It shouldn't be too suspicious since every account on that cluster suffered a similar fate."
"Leave the personal phone at the hospital next time, got it," Amy deduced.
"That's my girl." Lisa said with a wink.
Off to my side, Dinah was muttering to herself and it seemed her earlier predictions had just been revised. I silently wondered if there would be a betting pool and how easy it would be to abuse such knowledge of the future.
"Aww, but we wanted them for the harem!" Alkaline complained.
I'm perfectly happy with Chrissie.
"What about Alec? He was cute," Pyro noted.
"He could hold his liquor too," Ironsides said.
Is sex, drugs, booze and food all you fuckers ever think about?
"Does Warhammer count?" Sanguine asked.
No. No it does not.
"That sounds an awful lot like Heresy," Butcher retorted, lacking his usual nastiness.
A cocaine habit would be cheaper and less addictive.
Funny enough, they didn't have a counter to that.
No sooner had Lisa left to take Dinah and Amy back home than Damien interrupted Chrissie and I, bemoaning that the coffee pot was empty. When he saw that Chrissie was seated on my lap, her arms around my shoulders, he realized the depths of his folly and turned to leave, only to come face to face with the new quest board.
"The fuck is this?" he asked, scratching his head to clear out the cobwebs.
I spent the next half hour explaining the system to him, followed by reexplaining it once Alice woke up and wanted her own rundown on things. For simplicity, I just woke up every fucking cape in the building and had them assemble for the lecture, because I had zero intention of repeating myself a fourth time.
Despite being woken up, everyone seemed excited by the concept of pre-planned raids, and they were clearly trying not to seem too excited while examining the cards. Hopefully, my idea would keep them busy for a few days and wouldn't lead to too many injuries amongst our own; I found I didn't give two shits about any injured or dead Nazis. It wasn't like they'd be adding to Amy's workload in either case, but I wasn't sure how she would feel about Teeth members showing up at the hospital.
Taking the opportunity offered by the other distracted Teeth, I abducted Chrissie back to her room. The disappointment was clear on her face when I told her to change into something a bit more presentable than her current oversized t-shirt and running shorts. She changed her mind rather quickly once she realized it was so I could take her on a date.
We were out the door minutes later, with Chrissie in gray jeans and a white and red t-shirt, while I wore normal blue jeans and one of the novelty shirts we'd bought in red and gray. As the Butcher, there was no point in trying to hide my affiliation — the Teeth were mine and I was going to own that as best I could without outright declaring it… at least for now. I hadn't forgotten about the hoodie idea but it was still too soon.
Our usual driver was still asleep, so we opted to take the bus instead, which brought its own fun as we headed deeper into downtown and into the heart of Empire territory. It started with a few double takes, then to outright staring as the other bus riders began to cycle through during our trip. Chrissie was snuggled right up against me as we both thumbed through our phones, occasionally stealing a kiss here or there.
We were making a scene, especially given the time of day. I'd timed it for just this reason, because tweaking homophobes' minds was always a treat and we were loving every second of it. Even the chorus was having their own fun, taking bets on how long it would take the other passengers to lose their shit over two teen gals being pals.
With Chrissie and my phone, the ride seemed to take no time at all, and from our stop it was only a short walk to our first destination on what promised to be an eventful tour of the Empire's finest establishments.
The Eagle's Nest was a very classy establishment, provided you ignored the less than subtle Nazi imagery. The greeter had no idea what to do with two girls who were making zero effort to hide their Teeth affiliation and he froze completely when Chrissie leaned over and kissed my cheek.
"Why didn't we think to try this years ago?" Chisel wondered.
"We were too busy attempting to claw out the throat of whoever was the Butcher at the time," Stratego reminded her, dryly.
See what you miss out on when you don't work together?
"Yeah, rub it in on how much better things are with you in charge," Quarrel grumbled.
Alkaline hummed in thought. "That doesn't mean we can't use this as a learning experience. Even if XVI doesn't share Taylor's ability to mute us, we can still work together instead of devolving into a raving mess."
"Us, learn?" Fester sneered. "There are too many dickheads in here for that to happen."
"Can we not get into the sexism shit again?" Ironsides pleaded.
I gave Fester a gentle shove because it really was an old argument at this point. Chrissie and I settled into a nice table with a clear view of the bar and began to peruse the menu. Considering the affiliation, I was disappointed at how bug free the kitchen and other food areas actually were. I was always unfortunately aware of how many bugs lived out-of-sight in restaurants thanks to my powers, and this was one of the cleaner places I'd been in since January.
"Not for long though!" Pyro cheered.
I began moving roaches into the walls and dark corners of the place, removing poison and establishing nests. Then I gave them all orders to multiply, which they would follow even after I left. Later I would have Lisa send a tip to a state or federal health inspector, because no doubt the local ones were all in the Empire's pockets.
I sent some bugs to provide overwatch while I eyed the skinheads at the bar. Bug vision was still shit but I was continuously improving my ability to parse the visual feedback of each variety of insect. Knowing the homophobic fucks that tended to end up employed by the Empire, I was fully expecting them to pull something with either our food or drinks.
Sure enough, the waiter wasted no time grabbing dirty glasses for us before filling them with tea and cola respectively. Then he added something to each glass and I couldn't help but sigh since the show part of the date was going to come well before dinner. Pity, the steak they had grilling in the back smelled amazing to my bugs.
"Your bug senses are weird as shit. How can you actually find anything they pick up appealing like that?" Sabertooth wondered.
"This coming from the guy that got off on eating ass," Pyro complained.
"Don't knock it till you —"
I slammed that entire conversation into the void before it could ruin my appetite further. The waiter had a pleasant smile plastered on his face, but my enhanced senses could pick up the sweat beginning to form, the elevated heart rate, the rush of endorphins. He was nervous as hell beneath his calm exterior.
"Your drinks," he said, placing them in front of us. I landed a single fly on Chrissie's straw before she could remove the paper wrapper. "Are you ladies ready to order?"
"Sure," I answered, casually flipping a page over. Damn, I really wanted that filet… "A sampler to start, specifically of whatever you used to spike our drinks."
It took a moment for the words to reach comprehension, but I didn't miss the sudden jackhammering in his chest as he turned to leave. We couldn't be having that, now could we? In one smooth motion I was on my feet and had an iron grip around his arm. Given my many Brute packages, he wasn't going anywhere.
The people seated at the bar were quick on the uptake, moving to intervene. I kicked Damascian's precog on before the first victim reached me, and had to force down my grin as the unlucky winner went to push me away, only for Chrissie's fist to shatter his nose first.
"Let's fucking go!" Marauder cheered.
"Rip and tear!" Butcher yelled.
"Blood for the blood gods!" Sanguine echoed.
A flick of my wrist shattered the waiter's arm, taking him out of the brawl. My danger sense pinged, pushing me to duck down and sweep one asshole's legs from under him before he could stab me, but then I had to block when his unbalanced flailing almost stabbed Chrissie. A wet snap of broken bone told me I might have gone a little overboard, but at the same time…
"Who gives a shit? They're Nazis!" Fester reminded me, voice giddy.
Chrissie and I fell upon the bar like the fury of their appropriated gods, snapping bones and breaking faces with our own toothy grins. During that week when I tried to be a hero, I didn't want to admit it, but taking out my anger and aggression on the gang fucks that were ruining my city?
That shit felt damn good.
So good, in fact, that I didn't even try to block or dodge when one of the idiots broke a chair over my head. Instead, I caught one of the shattered legs out of the air and smacked the bastard across his slacked jawed face. At that point, I was making it obvious I had powers to the few still standing and things would go to shit in short order if we kept this up.
Knowing that, I grabbed Chrissie and pulled her in tight before I hit the entire bar around me with a rage blast. I lacked the finer control that Marauder possessed, but I could direct it in a radius around me, which was enough to keep my girlfriend from being enraptured by the Shaker aura.
What was, seconds earlier, a fairly standard bar room brawl was now set to turn into a bloodbath, which meant it was time to bail. I slung Chrissie over my shoulder, causing her to squeak then break out into cackles as I shouldered my way through the Nazis, knocking two over on our way out.
"At least keep one of their skulls for the throne!" Butcher yelled as I hit the street.
In the distance I could hear the sirens and knew right then that they were more likely to side with the racists than us. Between our Teeth colors and this being firmly Empire territory, there was little hope that the police wouldn't be sympathizers at worst, if not full blown members.
It was a sad state of the city, but there wasn't much we could do about it until the Empire had been excised, root and stem. Even with my quest board, that would take time and planning, as my rival gang was firmly entrenched. Defensive drills would be needed, because the Empire wouldn't take the Teeth's aggression lying down. I needed to find out how willing Amy would be to make house calls, or if I needed to work with Alice on first aid applications of our blood manipulation abilities. I should probably bump that up in priority regardless — healing was just something that was useful all around.
A poke to my cheek jarred me from plotting city domination, and led to me staring down my now pouting girlfriend. "You were doing it again."
"Sorry," I said, giving her what I hoped was an apologetic smile. "Just taking stock of some of the stuff I need to do in the next few days, which could totally wait until after our date, I just —"
Chrissie cut off my rambling by kissing me full on, and in that moment I didn't give a single shit about who saw us. When she pulled away I knew my grin matched her own.
"Ready to continue?" she asked, I nodded. "Then lead the way, boss."
We were only two blocks out from my backup restaurant when I picked up a commotion down a side alley. Chrissie and I picked up our pace as I began to gather my swarm just to be safe. The Empire had too many active capes for my liking, and they occasionally could be found out and about.
We came to a stop at the mouth of the alley before a small group of skinheads as they hovered over a pair of teens they had been beating on. We stared at each other for a few moments, then Chrissie flatly stated, "Oh look, it's the Nazis performing a hate crime. Be still my lesbian heart, for I am shocked they could possibly dare to perpetuate such a thing in broad daylight."
I paused, glanced at my girlfriend a second, then tilted my head to the side as I asked, "Was... was that a thesaurus you were reading in bed last night?"
She sputtered adorably for a moment while muttering, "Shut up... I'm trying to impress you."
That was —
"Adorable," Alkaline stated.
"As well as kind of sexy, Annette would approve," Fester added.
Knockout rolled his eyes while flatly stating, "Can we please leave the cooing over our minion until after we kill the Nazis?"
We aren't going to kill them. The collective began to voice their disapproval only to be cut off. We're gonna fuck them up enough that Amy gets the pleasure of refusing them services.
That got the cheers I was expecting as Chrissie and I cracked our knuckles in anticipation of round two of our brawl date across the town. It was at that point that the teens the skinheads had been attacking looked up, and recognition blossomed on their faces. I recognized them as well, and the temptation to just walk away from two of the Trio's little followers was certainly there.
Luckily for them, I ranked Nazis a notch below bullies.
The racists were at least quick enough on the uptake, drawing a set of brass knuckles as well as a single, unsatisfactory knife. It was almost cute that they thought their puny weapons might work. Plus, I got to put on a further show that would no doubt spread across the rumor mill at Winslow.
Not that it really mattered at this point — Sophia wouldn't be coming back to Winslow thanks to how public her injuries were, and justifying why Panacea went out of her way for her would have been tricky knowing that I was in the school. Emma…
I could only hope that Alan would pull her from school after that. Since the PRT hadn't come for me just yet I could only assume she was keeping to her word, or the Heroes were too chickenshit to risk pissing me off.
"Go off on this tangent after you skin the Nazis!" Butcher roared, startling me from my thoughts.
With a sigh I walked right up to the larger of the two skinheads, never breaking eye contact as I did so and just daring him to make the first move. Unsurprisingly, he wasn't feeling particularly bold, so I kicked his knee, shattering it and dropping him to the ground. In the shock of the moment, Chrissie closed the gap and handily downed the second without much effort.
"I detest how easy this can be," Marauder complained.
"Eh, I don't really care. We're fucking up Nazis, that's all that matters," Sanguine added.
Chrissie brushed her hands off, then looped her arm through my own and we continued on our merry way, giving the pair of hanger-ons all the attention they deserved: none.
We had barely resumed our walk towards our next destination when Lisa sent me a text claiming it was urgent and could only be said in person. Chrissie was annoyed, but given everything going on and Lisa's power, if she was insisting it was urgent, it was. She knew better than to piss either of us off for sport, something even the senior Teeth were learning was unwise.
"When a Thinker insists something is urgent, you listen," Stratego sagely said.
Fester tsked. "She's interrupting Taylor's date. She's dead unless this is damn good and she knows it."
"Harsh, but not an unfair assessment," Pyro added.
I'm not going to kill her over some information that could have waited.
"We know," half the chorus answered in unison. "Chrissie will."
I wanted to offer a retort, but I could imagine a world in which Chrissie did exactly that. My girlfriend wasn't innocent no matter how you twisted the definition around. She was a hardened killer, but would she kill a fellow Teeth cape just for pissing her off? A dozen memories flashed through my mind of past Teeth capes doing just that and I had to bite back a groan.
At least Lisa had chosen a nice restaurant as a rendezvous point and offered to pay for whatever we ate this afternoon. I was totally ordering the most expensive option out of spite, then a second one just because I could. Desert too for that matter, because I was still annoyed about not eating at the first bar.
"See, you're just as pissed, you just don't want to admit it," Alkaline playfully said.
Okay, I could admit that much to myself at least, even if I didn't like doing so. Stepping inside, a man in a tux flagged us down immediately and led us towards a back room where Lisa was waiting, a pensive expression on her face. I ordered iced tea while Chrissie picked a bottle of the most expensive wine on the menu. Lisa winced at her choice even as my girlfriend smirked.
As soon as the waiter left, Lisa spoke up. "Alright, I'm absolutely one hundred percent sorry to interrupt your date like this and I know this doesn't make up for it, but this was important."
"You're right, it doesn't," I said, laying my annoyance on a bit thick, "but the meal is a good start, hopefully the rest of this is worth it."
Lisa nodded slowly. "Well, it isn't good news, but I felt it was important to tell you rather than you finding out later, even if it is breaking the rules."
The waiter returned and our conversation halted as a glass of wine was poured for Chrissie and myself; he didn't even ask for ID. From there we placed our orders and settled in with an appetizer platter of hard bread and various toppings. Chrissie and I were content to enjoy the food as Lisa floundered for her words, seeming to start, then stop on several occasions before she finally slammed her fork down.
"Okay, okay, okay. Just gonna rip this bandaid off and hope you don't kill me." She swallowed and then met Taylor's eyes. "Amy healed Sophia on Friday, at the request of the PRT."
"Fucking score!" Chisel cheered as several of the male Butchers cursed.
"That's reasonable," I said, biting into one of the weird croutons. "I guess Amy didn't want to bring it up on the off chance I decided to get my perfectly justified revenge on the PRT?"
A smirk grew on my face in time with Lisa's expression falling. "Wait. You knew!?"
"There was some betting from my predecessors, but I didn't know for sure until Emma punched me." The chorus took great delight in Lisa's gobsmacked expression as Chrissie did her best to not cackle. I, however, was just tired. "Honestly, when I figured it out, I wasn't even surprised, just… disappointed."
"Wait, does that mean the short shit is Vista?" Chrissie asked as she tried to catch her breath. "Holy shit, that's the best disguise ever!"
That got a snort out of Lisa as she suddenly had the full attention of the Chorus. "Wrong on that one."
"Not Vista?" "Who the hell is she then?" "She couldn't be…"
Silent laughter bubbled up from the dark as Reflex stepped into the light in full for the first time. "Browbeat is a Changer, and we know they can change size."
We all froze, partly in surprise from hearing the last hero cursed with this inheritance and partly from the absurd mental image.
"No fucking way." "It makes a sick sort of sense." "There aren't many other possibilities."
I did have to give Madison credit — she had put up a pretty good fight for a relatively new cape, and had gone into it knowing exactly who I was. It didn't make up for several months worth of government-approved bullying, but at least she had tried to apologize. Compared to Emma, she was practically a saint.
The waiter eyed us with some level of amusement as he placed our entrees down and retreated once more. A quick check with my flies and Lisa's power told us it was safe to eat, so rather than dwell on the most recent subject matter, we instead elected to eat our early dinner.
As we wound down, Lisa set her silverware aside and sighed. "Amy was planning to go public about a lot of things involving you, that's why I spoke to her in private last night. Well, one reason, anyway."
"That's how you ended up sleeping with her," Chrissie corrected.
Lisa gave her a sharp glare. "Amy's got a lot of problems, and I'm helping her deal with them as best I can, alright? The girl is one bad day away from becoming Butcher XVI, and not because she goes after Taylor specifically."
Chrissie held up her hands. "No need to bite, though I am into that."
"I'm trying to be serious here!"
"And so am I," Chrissie answered with a grin. "And I'm failing, and I'm sorry."
It was my turn to snort. "No you aren't."
She leaned in and stuck her tongue out at me, I took advantage of that and caught her in a kiss. Chrissie practically melted, even as Lisa made gagging noises at our display; we both flipped her off for it.
"Are you done?" Lisa asked when we finally broke apart, a bit breathless from our efforts. "I managed to dig up all the records Blackwell has on you and the three Wards. Turns out she was a paranoid bitch and kept a lot of records on a USB drive that wasn't on the network. A drive she forgot to unplug Friday afternoon. All of those files, plus a few of my own, were delivered anonymously to the former Madcap. Amy is fully prepared to back you up as either Taylor, or as Weaver in the event this blows up, which would be a huge PR win for us if she does."
I couldn't help but mirror the Chorus and whistle. "So we've got them completely by the balls at this point."
"I wouldn't go that far, but they would be hard pressed to fight back against a full on PR blitz with Thinker support backing it up. Keep playing softball with the Wards when you encounter them and even attacking the bitches out of costume can be spun to your advantage if they try to play that angle."
"That's good to know," I said, "I think it's best if they don't figure out that I know, otherwise they'll stop trying to keep me in the dark and focus on countermeasures."
"Quite right," Lisa agreed. "You are absolutely terrifying when you want to be, and when you aren't, it's confusing as hell. Play up the harmless angle by acting like a joke villain with the Wards. That pizza —" "marinara" "— sauce stunt was perfect."
Lisa was right, and a gigantic scandal involving the local PRT was yet another tool in my 'take over the city' toolbox. People knew what I could do — that was the entire purpose of releasing the Menja video, after all — but if I had a carefree and fun side and saved the dark vengeful side only for the deserving, for those like Coil…
Finishing off my entree, I began to contemplate dessert. Hey Quarrel, a thrown pie would count as a projectile, right?
The laughter that followed helped form the beginnings of a plan.
Chrissie and I decided to head home after lunch, but we ended up stopping off at a hole in the wall bookstore we'd walked past earlier. The owner eyed us warily until I dropped two twenties on the counter to calm his worries. While browsing the fantasy section the bugs near the edge of my range picked up a disturbance, and I immediately began to move my swarm in to get a better look at the situation.
"Speak of the red devil," Ironsides said.
Assault was fighting off something that my bugs were struggling to pick up fully; to most of their eyes and smells, there was nothing there. Landing bugs on them, they were person shaped, and seemed to be carrying spears. Crusader, then — Assault was fighting with an Empire cape.
I continued to gather my swarm while conducting reconnaissance, as I wasn't in costume and there wasn't much reason for me to jump into their business right now regardless. Chrissie and I had suffered enough distractions at the hands of villains today.
"But this is a Nazi to fight, which was half the point of going on a date in Empire territory," Knockout whined.
"This is also a cape fight between Nazis and heroes," Stratego pointed out. "Jumping in now would be ill advised."
No shit, the Empire would see it as an alliance, and the heroes would try to take me in… or something. I can do plenty from right here, thank you.
Even as I pointed that out, my bugs found Crusader's actual body, hidden on a rooftop nearby as he sent more ghosts to fight Assault. I found myself in a bit of a conundrum: I didn't want to do nothing, but I couldn't do anything too overt to tip the battlefield in Assault's favor.
Chrissie was pulling me over to the scifi section when I got an idea. A cluster of gnats was sent inside Assault's visor, forming up into a crude arrow towards Crusader even as a bee buzzed beside his ear. He spun, and my gnats moved with him, keeping the arrow on point. The book seemed interesting enough, so I added it to my growing haul. With my lack of need to sleep most nights, I was chewing through my 'to read' pile absurdly fast.
Assault began to bound up and around the ghostly forms of Crusader's power, working his way towards the hidden bigot. I was almost distracted by an absurd find that I simply had to stop and admire: an autographed first edition set of the Song of the Lioness Quartet.
No matter what Chrissie might have said, I did not squeal at finding a portion of my childhood, signed by the author no less! My own copies were gifts from Mom, and were certainly not first editions. It was unfortunate that they were practically falling apart due to how many times I had read them.
Then I saw the price tag and my heart sank. Fourteen hundred dollars was too much for books that I almost certainly would put on a shelf and admire instead of read. Still, it was cool as hell that such pristine copies still existed and that I got to see them.
"I've spent more than that on a single hit of coke," Sabertooth said, and I slammed him into the void for interrupting the moment. Thankfully the others got the message and kept to their usual background conversations that I could ignore easily enough.
"These books that good?" Chrissie asked.
"Oh you have no idea!" I said, surprised by my own excitement. As I explained how Alana traded places with her brother so she could train to be a knight while he pursued his own ambitions, Assault managed to reach the roof and sent Crusader flying by body checking him.
Chrissie was shaking her head but wearing a smile as I recounted how she met Faithful. Even the store owner had softened up upon seeing my enthusiasm for the series, and offered a bit of a story about his own daughter's experiences with the same. When I decided to move along and check the fantasy section again, Chrissie didn't follow; instead, she began to count out hundred dollar bills, fifteen of them, enough to cover the asking price of the books and a bit more to —
"Heh, now that's a nice number, wouldn't you say so?" Alkaline teased.
I sat speechless, even as my bugs watched Assault cuff the unconscious Crusader, hoisting him over a shoulder and leaping safely back down to the road. The hero kept looking around, and my bugs knew he was speaking to someone but I didn't have enough on hand to actually understand him.
"These can't be real," the storekeeper muttered, checking each bill against the light as well as using a marker to verify them.
"Oh they're real. Stole them fair and square from the Empire a few days ago!" Chrissie said with pride. "If my girlfriend gushed that much over those books, then she's gonna fucking get them."
The man behind the counter barked out a laugh at that and ceased his protests and counted the money out. Then he carefully packed the books for us and sealed the box before wrapping it in plastic and handing it to Chrissie, who then passed it to me.
I wasn't too much of a stoic badass to admit that I was tearing up as I pulled my girlfriend into a hug and kissed her.