Chapter 3.7
Friday April 22nd, 2011
I stood in silence with my Teeth as a funeral pyre was lit, though we had no bodies to burn. Those had been given to the proper authorities with all of their funeral expenses and burial coming out of my own pocket. Assault had even promised to see that things were taken care of legally. It was the least I could do for my people.
Still, that didn't mean that the Teeth wouldn't be holding a service of our own for the fallen. Big Robbie was officiating the ceremony, much as he had done for the past two decades. For once, he was adorned with all of the trophies he had claimed while wearing a costume that wouldn't be recognizable to anyone that didn't know him.
No words were said as he offered up trophies taken from the fallen Empire fucksticks. A bone from each of those killed at the Arena first. An offering of those that desecrated our home to the fallen. Their bones were cast into the pyre, crackling in the heat of the flames. Next came the bones of those claimed in our retribution, cast into the flame like the rest.
It was symbolic — revenge had already been claimed in full — but the gesture sent a message to the rest of the gang. We never forget those who were Teeth, and we always avenge those taken from us. As Robbie concluded the rites, I stepped forward. If the crowd had been respectfully silent before, they were as still as the grave now.
In my hand was one of the trophies I had claimed, arguably the greatest among them. I held Kaiser's skull aloft, for all to see.
"Kaiser is dead! Our fallen have been avenged in spirit and in truth." With that, I cast his skull into the flames, more than a few of the Teeth audibly gasping that I cast away such a prize. "I didn't kill him for acclaim and glory. I did so because he orchestrated an act of malicious audacity that couldn't go unanswered. Now, his Empire lies in ashes and ruin!"
The cheers at that declaration were deafening.
I stood unmasked as I looked up to the stands of the Arena. Every person even loosely associated with the Teeth had been invited, including the younger kids from Winslow. Today was going to be the turning point of my rule, and I intended to have as many witnesses as possible.
"Really hope this plan works out for ya, kid," Ironsides grumbled.
Madison, Assault and Battery were also in attendance, in civvies amongst the masses. Honestly, I thought the only reason he agreed to come was because I told him there would be an open bar and Battery didn't want to leave him unsupervised. They were certain to report something back to their bosses tomorrow morning, given that I had warned them there was a chance I could be killed tonight and that the next Butcher might not be as reasonable as me.
"The Teeth extracted bloody vengeance, made them pay for every life they stole from us." I paced as I spoke, and ran a hand along Hookwolf's skull on my throne. "My own actions are known, but let us honor everyone who played a part! I may be the Butcher, but even I couldn't topple an Empire alone!"
I picked up the shot glass of Reserve from my throne, each person in attendance had been offered one upon arrival. I noticed that more than a few held empty glasses, and for each one of those I landed a single wasp on the rim. This was a toast to the victorious, dead and alive both, and they hadn't respected the notion.
"For those fallen, for those who fought, for those who killed for the Teeth, we fucking honor you!" I downed the shot and threw the glass to my feet, shattering it. "Hail the victorious Goddamned Teeth!"
Those in the crowd that hadn't drank early did so now, as did all of the capes. Even Dinah had been given a shot, the same as everyone else. Nobody was denied the chance to participate. Those that had drank early, well, they had a pissed off wasp staring back at them. Shattered glass sounded across the arena as everyone finished their shots and I turned to address everyone.
"Brockton Bay is ours now! If anyone has a problem with that, then this is your chance to fucking say it!"
"Unfortunately, I find it unlikely that our next host will be capable of such dramatics," Damascian mused. "Taylor took to villainy with a flair rarely seen."
"Presentation!" Alkaline cheered. "Make sure you give them a good fight!"
I certainly intend to.
Animos stepped forward, a determined expression on his face. He had issued his challenge as soon as I arrived back without Purity's head, wanting to fight me then and there before Chrissie had managed to talk him into making a spectacle of it. It was decided the end of this ceremony would be the ideal time to do it given how everyone was in attendance.
I'd had scarce an hour to come up with something resembling a plan.
"Animos is a bastard to plan around," Quarrel complained. "I couldn't shoot for shit the few times he caught me with his scream."
Yuki had triggered when she failed to qualify for the Olympics, so she was hardly an inexperienced archer herself. Ugh, that was a whole can of worms I couldn't anticipate either. A loss of powers. I'd become so reliant on my swarm, on Stratego's steady thrum of tactical feedback, the danger sense, the enhanced strength, durability, reflexes… I'd have none of it. Just Taylor against a monster.
Hell, I didn't really even know how to fight without the Butcher's inheritance. My first night out made that painfully clear in retrospect. I couldn't even practice, because all of that was as much a part of me as the voices in my head.
The entire situation was fucked and I hated it.
He nodded and held out his hand; I passed him the mic and took a step back beside my throne. Chrissie was eyeing me with a worried expression, a single tear running down her cheek. We had asked Dinah, quietly, what my chances of survival were in the coming fight. The response had been confusion and a few garbled numbers, which had not helped my nerves. I wanted to believe the biggest number, roughly 40%, while Chrissie was obviously dwelling on the smallest — less than six.
"While I cannot deny the results," Animos began, "I must question Weaver's methods. She plays pretend, opting to go to school rather than lead us, and this cost us the lives of good people. She abandoned the battle to aid someone opposed to us, even if he was family. If we cannot trust her to be there for us, how can we trust her to lead the Teeth?"
The crowd descended into loud whispers as I stoically stood in front of my throne.
He met my gaze. "As per the Teeth's custom, I challenge you to a battle for the mantle. A fight to the death, for the title of the Butcher!"
The crowd erupted in panicked shouts at the declaration, decrying his decision to an almost universal degree. That, I hadn't been expecting. Since when had I become so popular with the masses that they didn't want one of our strongest to take the mantle?
"Like it or not, you've changed things," Reflex said. "People like what you're doing and are afraid that will go away if you fade into the collective with the rest of us."
Still doesn't explain all of it.
"No, but it does say something, I would think," the fallen, yet not lost, hero finished. "Win this one so your people can rest easy tonight."
My swarm rose up around me, blanketing the air in a moving tapestry of chitin. "I acknowledge and accept your challenge!" I yelled while my swarm echoed my words and I affixed my mask.
Immediately he began to transform into his fearsome changer form. I would only have one chance, hit him before he could scream. We both approached the ring, taking up opposite sides. The fights were simple: if you could carry it in, you could use it. I only brought my usual kit — no gatling gun, no sword. I couldn't trust that I could wield them when he removed my powers. Even my usual guns were a risk, as the OTs-62s were never meant to be fired as a pistol. Benefits of a half dozen Brute packages in one, and only one of those survived an Animos scream. It barely even counted as a Brute 1 when Reflex held them. Still, nothing smaller would do much good and Coil's Tinkertech was too much of a risk to the crowd even if it ripped right through him, let alone if I actually missed.
The tradeoff to agreeing to delay the fight.
Big Robbie stepped forward, pistol in hand and aimed down. "On my signal, you may begin."
"Whatever happens, it was a pleasure," Reflex said.
Neither of us looked away from the other, yet we both nodded our understanding. Robbie took a breath, and fired.
Animos screamed at the same instant I hit him with a pain blast while also ordering every bug in the arena to destroy him completely. The teleport I attempted at that same moment failed as my power cut out. Animos' legs buckled under the brief pain, but held.
It was everything I could do not to panic.
I felt blind and deaf as the now-unfamiliar weight of my costume settled on my shoulders, and while a tiny part of me reveled in the silence, I found myself missing the voices of my headmates. Relief filled me that my bugs were still following my last order just as they did when they fell out of my range and I took advantage of Animos's momentary confusion at that and the physical upgrades that had remained of my Brute packages.
It wasn't much, but I was going to give him hell regardless.
I drew my machete and ran forward, hoping to catch Animos before he recovered from the instant of pain and the distraction my swarm would provide. My long legs ate up the distance, my superhuman musculature still functioning as intended, but Animos was faster, his senses sharper. His jaw snapped at me, forcing me to stumble to the side or lose yet another arm.
It was a miracle I managed even that, I'd tried to imagine what it would be like to be powerless, but this? I felt helpless without my powers, and holy fuck did that feeling piss me off. I drew an OTs, because anything less wouldn't even slow him down, and aimed it at his center of mass as I tumbled. The recoil of the shot jerked my wrist, sending pain lancing down my arm. Worse, I fucking missed at barely twenty feet, the explosive round impacting a translucent barrier Chrissie had swirling in front of the crowd.
I scrambled to my feet, but Animos pounced, shattering my mask with the blow and sending me flying across the arena. My ears rang from the impact, but the worst part was the pain. I could feel pain again. I hadn't missed it one bit.
Half my body felt like it was on fire, screaming at me that I should stay down or get away. I didn't have that luxury. I forced myself upright, feeling heavier than I had in a month. Animos was charging, yet I brought my machete up and focused on memories not my own, only half remembered like an echo from Stratego's past. Just as Animos lunged, I ducked into a painful roll, dodging under the Changer and swinging my blade. It connected, and the tendons of his leg parted like warm butter.
A smile crept to my lips for an instant, then the flaw in my plan made itself evident as the beast's weight fell upon me, dragging me along the ground as he skidded to a halt. The wind was crushed out of my lungs, but I couldn't draw a breath to replace it with Animos on top of me.. I was stuck underneath a monstrosity that tasted of death, unable to breathe, unable to do anything.
Memories rose, unbidden.
Somebody help! Let me out!
Of course, Animos knew I was trapped too, and he somehow craned his neck around to scream at me again.
Part of me knew what was coming: I was going to die, because his scream recovered faster than my powers. It wasn't even going to be a dignified death, being sat on by a one-trick doggy and scolded like a child. Even I could admit that it was pathetic, and the collective would mock me to hell and back for it… until the end of time. No doubt my swarm was doing what they could, but a single order wasn't the same as my micromanaging each individual to systematically dismantle a person.
Don't leave me here! Please!
I'd managed to take down the ABB, Coil and even the Empire, yet I failed to take control of the Teeth completely. I wouldn't be able to keep my promise to Chrissie. I felt tears building in my eyes, knowing I wouldn't be able to hold her in my arms ever again.
No giving up, you're better than that.
Awareness exploded around me as the world came back all at once. My bugs were back, which meant all my powers should be back! Barely taking the time to wonder, I teleported out from under Animos, reappearing above him to deliver a hammerblow to his skull. The impact shook the stands and the crowd cheered at the sudden turnaround.
"How the hell?" "The fuck was that!" "Can she hear us?" "I can hear us." "You heard voices before us, idiot!"
I was gasping for breath, but I didn't have the time to savor the sensation of not being trapped. I needed to press my advantage before my opponent recovered. I took the offered reprieve as his scream recharged, hitting with pain, a burst of rage, and finally my swarm.
He screamed anyway.
I braced myself for another horrifying round of sensory blindness, only for… nothing to happen? I froze for a long moment, then wiped the demonic grin off of Animos's face with yet another pain blast and more bugs. What in the blood soaked protestant hell was going on?
Pyro barked out a sharp laugh at my use of one of her old favorites, but the rest were equally confused by this sudden turn of events. Regardless of what it meant for me and my powers, the fight was effectively over. Animos was barely twitching, so I eased off, allowing him to slowly shift back to a human.
I managed to recover a few shreds of my dignity as I walked over to his gasping and sobbing form, only to hide the ultimate confrontation from the crowd with a curtain of bugs. Elliot deserved that much. He may have challenged me with the intention to kill, but he was still Teeth.
"Even now you're going to be soft?" Butcher scoffed. "You know how these things go, what comes next."
I know what comes next for a Butcher. What about for Weaver?
"Normally I would say you get to join us, but…" Knockout trailed off.
"Ha! I told you all she was going to be hell on wheels! Just like her mother!" Fester cheered.
"Just don't fuck this up," Ironsides rumbled.
I was remaking the Teeth in my image, maybe this damned tradition needed to be shaken up as well. If I wanted that to be more than honeyed words, I needed to put forward actions to back up my intentions. After all, pretty platitudes didn't mean shit for dick if I never followed through with them. I refused to become passive with my problems ever again.
"Let me know when you can stand," I said to my opponent. "Take your time, nobody can see us right now thanks to my bugs."
"How do you even have your powers?" he rasped. "No past Butcher has been immune."
"No fucking clue," I admitted. "You good? The crowd is no doubt waiting."
"What, not going to have your bugs eat me like you did Kaiser?" he snapped off. "You're just going to kill me, shit doesn't matter how I get there."
"When did I ever say I was going to kill you?" He looked up, shock evident on his face. "You aren't an enemy and were doing what you felt was right for the Teeth. I can't fault you for calling me on my mistakes."
"Then why?"
"For one, I'm not an idiot. You're a deterrent almost as much as I am, as even seemingly immortal capes are your playthings. I'd be a fool to kill you." I chuckled and offered my hand. "Plus, your sister would never forgive me if I did."
Elliot's eyes grew into saucers. "How do you know about her?"
"You've met Lisa?"
He forced out a pained laugh. "Point taken." Elliot grasped my wrist and let me pull him to his feet. "So, what now?"
I shrugged. "No idea, I'm kinda winging this since I expected to die tonight… Wanna grab a beer and fuck with Damien till he unleashes the clones and we have an excuse to beat him with his own limbs?"
"Pretty sure I don't have it in me tonight," he said, chuckling. "Probably gonna pop something from the stash and crash for a day or two. Those pain blasts fucking hurt."
"Got a few memories from the others, but tonight was the first time I felt pain since I inherited. Don't recommend it."
Elliot snorted, then began to cough as he almost fell over. I reached out and caught him, throwing his arm over my shoulder. He gave me a pained look before coughing some more.
"You really should kill me kid… I'm not gonna change my mind just because you were soft on me."
"And I'm going to trust you to continue to call me on things when you feel I'm slacking on my responsibility. However, I'm going to expect the rest of the Teeth to step up, too. You guys did good without me, but you can always do better. We all can."
"You should learn something we don't know, fighting wise, so you have that to fall back on if you face another nullifier," Reflex said.
Not a bad idea, really. I'd slacked off too much over the past few weeks. There was so much I could do to ensure I wasn't caught off guard again, or left unable to fight back. I never wanted to feel so helpless again.
"Getting a girlfriend can be so distracting," Fester teased. She was merciful in sparing me an onslaught of prodded memories of her and Mom.
The bugs departed, revealing us to the crowd which let out a resounding roar when they saw me still standing. Chrissie crashed into me a moment later, retching out sobs behind her mask. I embraced her with my free arm, rubbing the small section of her back not adorned with skeletal pieces. Amy, Lisa, and Dinah had followed her over, but I was only dimly aware of that fact, with all of my non-bug attention pinned to the girl in my embrace.
"Shhh, it's okay. I'm okay."
"No, you're not," she whimpered. "You almost fucking died. I… I don't know what I would have done without —"
Elliot coughed, jostling my arm as he did. "Not to interrupt, but I could really use some fentanyl or something right about now."
"Why is he still alive?" Chrissie hissed, fractal shapes forming around us.
"Good question!" several Butchers yelled.
"He won't be if that's his drug of choice," I muttered.
"Fuck if I know…" Elliot said, ignoring my comment. "Apparently she's immune to my scream now."
Chrissie blinked for a moment at that revelation. "Huh, that seems useful."
"And —" Elliot continued, only to get punched in the face by Rachel hard enough to knock him on his ass.
"Now that was a punch!" Knockout cheered.
The crowd went wild at the spontaneous violence, but instead of kicking Elliot while he was down, Rachel leaned over and hissed some words that I pointedly ignored. Then she pulled him to his feet and helped him shuffle out of the arena, growling at him under her breath the whole time.
I watched them go before turning my attention to Chrissie. "No idea. We'll test it later. If we're lucky, the PRT will be busy doing damage control and give us some breathing room."
"I haven't fixed any of them after that fight," Amy cut in. "But I did chew them out for being Nazi pawns, healed those that were at risk of dying, and told the rest they could wait a few days."
Chrissie snorted. "Damn girl, we'll make you a proper villain yet."
"I already have my trophy," Amy reminded us. "You told me to 'claim a worthy trophy,' so I claimed Weaver's hand. Jealous?"
"A little bit," Chrissie muttered. "Ugh, I am not ready to deal with this."
I watched as Chrissie walked away, not sure exactly what I was feeling at the moment. She was jealous? Of what? The crowd had fallen silent, but the whispers were rising to murmurs and I felt my anger growing with them.
"You do know why she —"
I slammed the entire collective into the void, not really wanting to deal with any of them at the moment. They took the goddamn hint and settled down. The crowd however…
"What are you all staring at? This is supposed to be a fucking party, so get to fucking partying!"
A wasp stung the DJ and he quickly hit the music, filling the arena with thumping bass. The arena swiftly descended into pandemonium as the Teeth started doing what they did best: causing chaos. Between the death of the Empire and me surviving the challenge, they certainly had cause to party.
I wanted nothing more than to disappear into my room.
As the adrenaline slowly drained out of my veins, I had to devote more and more of my attention towards keeping up the Butcher façade. This time, it was my own brush with death compounded by visions of a red-and-gray tide sweeping Brockton Bay away that made my hands want to shake and eyes twitch; it was only through my bugs that I kept everything under control.
Showing the colors as the Butcher was actually pretty easy, as my presence came with a bubble of empty space even on the dance floor. Various Teeth congratulated me as I strode through the crowd, including a number of the old guard normals who usually regarded me with (silent) suspicion.
I was the Butcher, after all.
"Hell yeah you are!" Marauder cheered. "How long until we go Vlad the Impaler on our enemies again?"
"How long until you actually go and fucking party?" Quarrel retorted. "There's people fucking right there —"
I did my best to think vindictively about the spiders in the basement, noting that another spool of silk thread was ready for Parian. Our little deal was going to pay off big time, according to Lisa, and the first round of bullet resistant cloth was nearly ready.
"Ugh, do you have to talk shop when you should be fucking living it up?" Sabertooth bitched.
"She can multitask," Stratego said.
"She can multi-boring," Butcher countered. "Come on, do some shots, snort some coke, ANYTHING else besides this."
I ignored the collective's bitching as I took a seat up near the balcony, watching the rave in the arena below as my bugs took stock of things. The party was in full swing, which meant I was hardly surprised when Lisa and Amy snuck out the back and towards the alley where their usual driver was already waiting. What I hadn't expected was for Rachel to intercept them on their discreet exit. Lisa seemed surprised too, not that I had the best view through my bugs.
Luckily, it was enough to watch as Rachel held out a necklace to Lisa, while either oblivious to, or ignoring, Amy's furious glare at the offered jewelry. Lisa just stared at the offering with a blank expression.
"These are teeth… from Night and Fog," Lisa muttered.
"You helped, you deserve them," Rachel stated bluntly.
Lisa looked across the parking garage to where I had a cluster of bugs watching as she asked her silent question. A subtle bob of my bugs and she accepted Rachel's gift, gingerly placing it around her neck.
"I can only imagine the feedback her power's giving her right now over that thing," Alkaline said.
"Likely a life history lesson for both capes, and how many times they skipped brushing their teeth," Stratego mused.
"Number of dentist visits."
"Times a tooth was regrown by Othala."
Okay, I get it. Way to show me how we absolutely don't want her power in here with us.
The collective paused for a moment and I felt a shiver run through my mind.
"Point made," Butcher said.
"Too bad there wasn't much left of Alabaster besides his damn jawbone," Fester grumbled.
"Which Spree is wearing with pride, I might add," Marauder noted.
As he should.
Sanguine sent the distinct impression of an unhinged smile. "Oh how far you've come."
"She's a Butcher in truth and deed," Chisel agreed.
Fester however, snorted. "Bitch please. Given all she's done, she's the best among us." Arguments kicked up in an instant, but I was distracted by something far more important.
Chrissie was still avoiding me, but at least she wasn't drowning herself in alcohol. No, she was brooding away in her room instead. I wasn't sure how I felt about that, and a part of me was tempted to teleport up to her room and just get it over with, but at the same time, I didn't want her to think I was crowding her or forcing the issue.
No. I was the Butcher, the leader of the Teeth, and I needed to be seen.
"Keep telling yourself that," Sabertooth growled.
"Talking to her would be prudent, you don't want this wound to fester," Stratego stated.
Fester gaped in shock. "Did you just —"
Not in the mood assholes.
I threw myself into my swarmsense, feeling out literal millions of perspectives, taking in the celebration in its entirety. Alec was casually talking with Michael as they drank and gamed, which seemed to be the extent of the sort-of-friendship they had formed.
Looking around, I was surprised to find Dinah still lurking in one of the corners. She'd found some alcohol but rather than drinking it, she seemed to be having a staring contest with it instead. Every now and then she would mutter something, and occasionally wince. Worse yet, she seemed to be doing her damndest to hide the tears streaming down her face.
With a huff, Dinah shoved the alcohol aside, wiped her face clear of tears and steeled her expression behind the carefully constructed mask she presented to the Teeth. Once satisfied, she rejoined the still raging party with all the usual poise that I could tell was oh-so-forced.
Almost immediately, Robbie stood up from his spot at the poker table. He was carrying a carefully wrapped package that I hadn't seen him preparing, which was concerning on several levels. My curiosity got the better of me and I found myself making my way closer just so I could hear their conversation with my own ears.
"It is done," Robbie said, loud enough for the whole lounge to take notice.
Dinah eyed the package for a long moment before she hesitantly held out her arms to accept it. He placed it in her grasp with all the reverence he had shown during the funeral rites. The paper wrapping was removed, with Dinah taking care to not simply rip it to pieces. Concealed within was a well crafted pine box in the shape of a classical coffin.
"Oh, that's a nice touch," Sanguine noted.
I couldn't help but agree with the sentiment as she set the box on the nearest table and pulled the lid off, a sharp gasp followed as she hesitantly reached within and retrieved a gnarled short staff made of vertebrae, topped with a familiar skull. On the forehead, a snake motif had been carved and stained into the surface to leave no doubt as to who she had claimed it from.
"That…"
"Is…"
"BADASS!" the collective declared.
It made me wish I had something to give to Chrissie.
And now I was thinking about her again, fuck. I really needed to get this over with, so I left the weirdly endearing pair behind as Dinah hugged him in thanks and made my way towards Chrissie's room.
It took far too little time to arrive.
"Just bite the fucking bullet and go in there," Butcher complained. "What's the worst that could happen?"
"Chrissie ends up as XVI and we have to deal with their lover's spat for the rest of our existence?" Alkaline stated.
"Oh," Butcher muttered, and ushered himself off into the dark with no prompting from myself.
Huh, that was new.
He was right though, and I really did need to just woman up and get this over with. With a deep breath, I lifted my regrown arm and knocked on her door.
"Fuck off!" she shouted back.
"Damn, not a good sign," Fester offered.
"It's me," I said. "I just wanted to talk. Can still do that if you would rather I…"
The door flung open and I was greeted by my girlfriend, still in costume but sans mask, which only served to highlight how puffy her eyes were.
Great, she'd been crying.
Now I felt like an even bigger ass for putting this off for so long.
"She didn't make an effort to find you either," Stratego pointed out.
She huffed, then marched back over to the bed where she flopped down with absolutely zero grace, bouncing slightly on the mattress as she did so. I followed her inside, closing the door behind me and locking it for good measure.
With that done, I tossed my harness aside, ignoring the loud thump of several dozen pounds of equipment dropping to the floor and divested myself of all of my weapons. The last thing I wanted to do was give her the wrong signal with all of this. When I turned back towards her, she was seated on her bed, trying to bore a hole through the ground with her eyes.
"I suppose we've put this off long enough," I said, sitting down next to her. "We kinda just jumped into this feet first without ever really talking about anything, didn't we?"
"Life of a villain," Chrissie replied softly. "You never know who might die or when, so you tend to act rather than dwell."
"Like you almost did." Chrissie, soaked in a pool of her own blood, flashed before my eyes. I forced the memories away as best I could. "Yet, you were always careful to respect me. Even with all the memories in my head, I've never been in a relationship before… us."
Chrissie snorted. "I'd have never guessed."
I chuckled, swatting her arm then let out a sigh. "I know it's only been a few weeks, but you've been nothing but patient with everything, never rushing me, never pressuring me to go farther than I was comfortable with… It's been nice, and I really want us to work. So, let's get this talk out of the way so we can hopefully go back to being copacetic."
"Hey, I remember that one!" Chrissie said with a laugh, before frowning. "I want us to work too dammit, I just don't know what I'm doing. I've had flings, but never actual relationships. I'm scared I'm gonna keep fucking this all up and —"
I cut her off with a gentle kiss.
"This is all new for me too," I whispered. "I just can't help but wonder how much is me and how much is them anymore. There's so much bleedover, so many habits and likes and —"
"Tay, you know better than to bullshit me." Chrissie's eyes were defiant, but when the fight left them, only tenderness remained. "You're still beating yourself up over killing them, aren't you?"
"She's got you there," Fester said.
"Not quite, but close to the mark," I sighed. "I killed, what, thirty people in barely a day's span? It was so easy to end them rather than detain them… I'm scared of how easily killing became my default. Worse, I'm scared because I don't regret killing them."
Chrissie wrapped me into a hug and pulled me down onto the bed, cuddling in as close as she could. "Zerick Hahn."
"Germanic origins." "Doesn't Hahn basically mean cockmaster?" "As in chickens, not dicks." "It can mean that too."
"Sounds like a dick," I said aloud.
"Part of why I killed him. He was my first," Chrissie said softly. "I was fourteen and wanted to show this cute girl from school a good time. Turns out, she told her brother she had a date and he told his friends…"
"The Empire took notice."
"Yeah, one of those friends was a closet wannabe and decided I would be his initiation." She sighed and curled even closer, burying her face against me. "It didn't go as he expected, and I put his own knife through his throat. The police got involved, and my parents were called. The police dropped any charges because my parents went to church with the lead investigator."
"Sounds about right for the Bay…" I muttered.
"Right? Anyway, my parents drag me home and proceed to beat me. They heard I was on a date with a girl and how dare I kill such an upstanding gentleman who was only trying to protect me from the depravity of lesbianism or some shit. Then they arranged to ship me off to one of the Empire's 'kill the gays' camps, calling it religious counseling. What a load of dogshit that was. I wasn't even a week into it when I triggered. I think the PRT knows it was me because the Empire sure as hell did after all. Don't feel bad about killing the bastards that enabled shit like that, they neither deserve your pity or the time you're devoting to their accursed memory."
"Hear hear!" Fester cheered. "Piss on their graves and shit on their legacies! They deserve no better!"
Reflex hummed in agreement. "Even with all the lives ended between you and the rest of the Teeth, you'll save ten times that before the year is up just by having done what you did. Sometimes you have to get your hands dirty, just don't lose sight of what matters."
"We'll slap you if you start yammering on and on about the Greater Good and how you have to sacrifice a child for it." Alkaline teased, but there was an undercurrent of legitimate worry to her tone.
"Thanks Chrissie, that helped," I said softly, holding her tight. "Hopefully with the Nazis gone, those kind of places die off. Because if not…"
"We help them along?" Chrissie asked.
"Pretty much," I agreed.
We sat in silence, both of us clearly searching for the words to continue on the original topic. The chorus offered a few suggestions but I gave them a gentle push. I wanted to do this on my own, but really, were the Chorus actually separate from me, or part of who I was now? If Chrissie was going to date me, if I was going to date her, like it or not, my being the Butcher was part of it…
"I'm sorry," Chrissie said, cutting off my introspection. "I shouldn't have been so pissed with you over… everything. The attacks, Lisa, school, I — I don't really know. It feels stupid now, and I don't want to lose you. When you were down there, fighting Elliot…"
"I'm not going to leave you," I murmured into her hair. In my head, half of the Butchers offered a number of other comments, only to get shushed immediately by the other half. Part of me wanted the help here, because I felt like I was trying to read a book where many of the pages were missing, but then it wouldn't be me dating Chrissie.
She deserved better than whatever the assholes in my head could cook up. Several of said assholes snickered at the thought.
"And, um, yeah," I continued. "You're important to me, and not just as one of my capes. Uh…"
Chrissie huffed out a laugh. "Damn, Tay. You really know how to woo a girl." When I tried to protest that, she cut me off with a searing, passionate kiss.
"Buh wah?" I managed, surprised by the sudden intensity.
"You, Taylor, are a dork of the highest degree," she murmured, breaking off the kiss. "We both want to make this work, but it's not going to be easy."
"When is anything that's worth pursuing ever easy?" I asked.
"Well, can I make one thing easy for you?"
There was a teasing glint in her eye, and a playful smirk on her lips that spoke of mischief to come as she leaned in close.
"What would that be?" I asked, letting my nose brush against hers.
She pulled me into a gentle kiss and across the room, one of her forcefields flicked the light switch. As it turned out, there was something I could give her after all.