Demented Ch 26

It felt good to be back with Sirius. Harry knew now that the man never would have been ready to take Harry in and become his parent, but the fact that he had offered still made Harry feel grateful. Even two years later, Sirius was struggling. Harry knew that part of the reason was because it had taken so long to get his name cleared, and he had been on the run and then in hiding.

"This house is terrible, but at least it's safe," Sirius said. They were sitting across from each other in the library in the overstuffed chairs Sirius loved so much.

"Are you going to be able to move?" Harry asked.

Sirius sighed. Harry realized he had hit on a point of contention. By the look on Sirius's face, he wished he hadn't asked.

"Dumbledore wants me to stay here," Sirius finally said. "This is still headquarters. It's best to keep it manned. He doesn't want me fighting, and neither does your … Snape."

Sirius still had trouble sometimes referring to Snape as Harry's guardian or even by his proper name and not insulting nicknames. Harry knew he was grateful to Snape for clearing his name and adopting Harry when he wasn't able to, but old resentments died hard. Sirius had mood swings, Remus had told Harry. His life was catching up with him. Sirius had demons, as much as he wanted to joke and pretend he didn't.

"I don't see why Dumbledore can keep you here if you don't want to," Harry said. "Can't someone else do it?"

"It's not that simple, Harry," Sirius sounded tired. "And of course I want to do my part."

"You've done more than enough," Harry argued, "since you were in prison for thirteen years."

He wished he hadn't said it as soon as the words were out of his mouth, especially since he said them a little loudly. Sirius winced. They tended not to talk about his godfather's time in Azkaban.

"Sorry," Harry said softly, "I just worry about you. I feel bad about you being here. I know you hate it."

Sirius gave him a small smile. "It's not so bad, Pup. After all, I have Remus. And Buckbeak. And plenty of Weasleys. There is always a lot of company coming and going through here. I hardly have time to think about it."

"But this house is still so depressing," Harry argued. "Can't we, I dunno, remodel? It's weird."

"What, weird that the Order meets in one of the Darkest houses ever to see the light of day? Or not, in most cases?" Sirius said in a voice that was only partly teasing.

"Well," Harry said. "Yeah."

"You're right, Harry," Sirius said. "Most of our efforts have been meant on debugging and curse-breaking the house and cleaning out the worst of the infestations. The place was empty for years."

"I know," Harry said. "It's just that, well, it feels …"

"Evil?"

"Yes!"

"Like the house itself is bad?"

"Yes…"

Sirius nodded. "That's the result of years and years of dark magic being practiced here. There are still some dark articles here, that we've either been unable to remove or haven't gotten to yet. And then there's Kreacher."

"Kreacher's dark?" Harry asked, concerned. He didn't know house elves could go dark.

"Not exactly," Sirius said. "That scumbag of a slimy house elf is up to his eyeballs in dark magic though. He's stolen half the dark articles in the house before we could remove or destroy them, claiming they are Black family heirlooms and he had to 'rescue' them. He doesn't leave the house with them, so they're here somewhere."

"Oh," Harry said. "Snape could help, right?"

"He has been," Sirius said, sounding like he was disgruntled but trying to be grateful. "It's a slow process."

That was an understatement. Harry could only imagine what it was like for Sirius living in the house he hated so much. He could feel the darkness and he was only there from time to time and short periods. Sirius hasn't told him much of his childhood, but he knew there were similarities to Harry's in that his parents had been emotionally abusive and worse.

If Harry had inherited the Dursleys house, he would never be able to live in it. A screaming portrait of his Aunt Petunia shouting insults at him every time he passed it would have made it impossible for him to step foot in the place. He didn't know how Sirius did it.

"Have you talked to Remus?" Sirius asked, changing the subject.

Harry nodded.

"Ready for the new school year?"

"Yeah. Did he tell you I'm coming back here, the night before to ride the Express?" Harry asked.

"He did," Sirius said. "I've decided to see you off."

"Really?" Harry had mixed feelings about that. "Won't that cause a still? Does Dumbledore approve?"

"Let's just keep it between us," Sirius said, being serious for once, "Padfoot will be joining you."

"Oh," Harry said. "I guess that'll be alright."

"'Course it will," Sirius said. "Don't worry about a thing."

Sirius did look healthier than when he'd broken out of Azkaban. His skin had lost the sallow look, he was clean shaven and had put on weight. Of course, he wore proper clothing instead of tattered prison uniforms too.

"Can I still visit once school starts?" Harry asked.

"As long as Snape says it's alright," Sirius said. "I hope you do. How's it going with him anyway?"

"Okay," Harry said quietly. Sirius usually avoided asking that, leaving it to Remus. "It's still kinda weird. Especially with school starting. We were getting the hang of things, you know? Like a routine? And then now things are weird again."

Sirius nodded. "He's a strict bas … uh, man."

Harry smirked. Sirius might as well have finished the sentence. He knew his godfather was making an effort to avoid badmouthing his guardian.

"He let me invite friends over for a birthday party."

"Oh yeah," Sirius said. "The twins came back with a bunch of potions. You nitwits used Snape's lab without permission? How bad did you catch it for that one?"

That memory brought a small smile to Harry's face. "Yeah, we did. I'm sure Snape knew it too, but he never busted me on it."

"Weird," Sirius said. "I was sure he'd have blistered you for that. I gave them an earful."

"It was my decision," Harry shrugged.

"Be honest, Harry," Sirius said. "There was a fair amount of peer pressure involved there, I'm sure."

"Maybe," Harry admitted. "But I could have said no. Sometimes it's fun to break the rules just to, you know, do something. Not risk my life."

"Are you sure you didn't?"

"Very funny," Harry said. "I might have been grounded for a term but Snape isn't going to kill me."

"Fun, huh," Sirius said. "I guess you did inherit the Marauder gene after all." He leaned forward and playfully slapped Harry on the shoulder.

"I guess," Harry said. "I get bored."

"I'll bet you do," Sirius said. He sobered a little. "You can be honest with me though."

"About Snape?" Harry said. "He's strict. He has a lot of rules. But I know he does try to take care of me."

"Try?"

"No, he does," Harry said. "I'm not explaining this right."

"I think I get it," Sirius said. "You're not used to all that parental attention."

"Yeah," Harry said. "He keeps giving me physicals and making me take supplements and buying me stuff."

"I think that's what parents do, Harry," Sirius said. "Just wait until school starts and he's checking your homework and talking to you about detentions."

The thought was horrifying. "Yeah."

"That's what you're worried about, isn't it?" Sirius said. "Snape haunting your every step at school."

"Yeah," Harry said. "He said parents get notified of everything. My grades, disciplinary records, earth records. Isn't that stuff private?"

"No," Sirius said. "You've had a lot of autonomy, Harry. You've basically had no parental figure for four years. Your Head of House has a lot of kids to be responsible for. I think you're overreacting though. I doubt he'll get on your case for every little thing."

When Harry didn't say anything, Sirius leaned forward again and squeezed his shoulder.

"What did Remus recommend?"

"I didn't really talk to him about this."

"Really?" Sirius sounded surprised.

"No. I just … I dunno."

"It's alright," Sirius said. "I know I'm not usually the one to come to for reasonable advice, but I think you should talk to him and lay down a set of ground rules."

Harry wrinkled his nose. "He's already given me a ton of rules. I'm sure he'll give me more."

"Maybe I should have put it differently," Sirius said. "More like … agreements for how things will work."

"Like what?" Harry asked.

"Well, if you get dentition, you shouldn't get punished by Snape because the teacher already punished you, right?"

"Yeah," Harry said. "He might have said that. It makes sense.

"It's really not fair to get punished twice just because you're a professor's kid," Sirius joked.

"Snape is not always fair," Harry said. "But I think he's been trying to be better. Maybe."

"Give him a chance," Sirius said, "I'm trying to."

Harry nodded. He knew that was not easy. Sirius had even more history with Snape than Harry did.

"I know I'm the last person to say this to you, Harry," Sirius said, "but you're going to need to keep your head down this year. The Ministry is not likely done with you yet."

"That's not fair," Harry said. "I didn't do anything. I was defending myself with the Dementor."

"That's not all," Sirius said. "You know it's not."

"You mean because of what I said about Voldemort?" Harry said. "I'm telling the truth."

"I know that, Harry," Sirius said gently. "Of course I believe you. The press and The Ministry have been making you out to be an attention-seeking liar all summer though. In their eyes, you look unstable. You say you were attacked by a Dementor in a Muggle area. Your godfather is an ex-felon some people still don't believe is innocent-"

"-but," Harry cried.

"To many people, I am the last member of a wealthy family. They think I bought my way out of prison with my wealth. It's not fair, but it's the court of public opinion."

Harry nodded miserably.

"Then there's the Tournament. No one saw what happened in the cemetery, so all people did see was you disappearing, then appearing all bloody and broken with Cedric's body. There are still people who think you dueled him and killed him."

"That's crazy!"

"There's no proof, and Cedric's wand had spells that were illegal …"

"The maze …" Harry started to say.

"I know. I suspect that the reason a proper investigation was never done is that it might have supported your story," Sirius said. "At any rate, your claim of a ring of Death Eaters, Peter Pettigrew, and Voldemort's rebirth was dismissed outright as either lies or the ravings of an unstable teenager. Even those inclined to believe it refuse to believe you dueled Voldemort and won."

"I didn't win," Harry said, "I told them the wands did this weird thing when they connected and …"

"I know," Sirius said. "I believe you. I'm just telling you to be prepared for a hard year."

Harry sat back, dumbstruck. He'd talked with Remus about some of this, but Remus had never been so blunt about it. Snape had told him to focus on his schoolwork this year and ignore the "dunderheads." He was beginning to see what Snape meant.

"Can't I ever have an easy year?"

"I do not know," Sirius said. "But it will not be this one."