AN: It seems that the end result of having to recreate Chapter 4 is that I got long-winded again, and a lighter, less angsty Chapter 5 will be up tomorrow or Tuesday - something that falls somewhere between another chapter and an epilogue.

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Chapter 4

The trip back to the loft was filled with both comfort and trepidation. The couple held each other, trading soft, loving little kisses and enjoying their moment out of reality until the car came to a stop outside Castle's building.

Kate moved out of his lap and smoothed her dress when they heard the driver's door open and close; and in no time, the passenger side door opened and the driver was offering her a hand out of the car. Castle thanked and tipped his driver, and then he wrapped an arm protectively around Kate's shoulders and guided her toward the building. Both of them approached it with a degree of dread, one of them knowing that something would be unpleasant, the other knowing why.

In the elevator, Rick pulled Kate into a long, soft kiss that went on until they reached his floor.

"That was nice," she said softly, enjoying his affections before facing whatever was about to challenge them.

"I needed that to remember, just in case you don't forgive me," he explained, placing one more quick kiss on her lips when the elevator doors opened. "Your decision is on the other side of this door," he told her as the key turned in the lock.

When they entered the loft, she asked, "Is anyone else home?"

"Mother might be here. She's a little unpredictable about that sometimes, but it's Friday and Alexis has today and the weekend off, too. She's at a sleepover with one of her friends. After the last case, I encouraged her to do something more appropriate to a high school senior's activities. She needed a distraction."

"I don't doubt that she did. When we saw her at the morgue, she looked so distraught. I was glad you took her home." After taking a deep breath and preparing herself, Kate said, "You promised to get right to it when we got here. Let's get this done."

"In the study." He took her hand and led her in, turned on his computer, and picked up the remote to turn on the smartboard.

"What the hell is this?" she asked when presented with her picture in the middle of the board and things she registered as connected with her mother's murder and her own shooting spread around it.

"This is every scrap of information I could find about your mother's case and yours…all arranged in a way that makes it easy to reference any of it in moments. It isn't nearly as good as what the feds could do, but it's much easier than what we were trying to do before."

Then it was Castle who took a deep breath to prepare himself and requested, "Please let me finish this explanation before you ask any questions. I know you won't like what you hear, and I want to get all of it out there without losing track of anything."

"I'll do my best."

Once he had her agreement, he launched himself into the story of Smith's call after they spoke to the fire marshal that fall. He explained the connection to Montgomery and the truce Smith had arranged with the man who had become the bane of Kate's existence.

"You had no right to make that decision for me."

"But you had the right to decide what was best for me last summer? It would be hypocritical of me to be angry with you for your lie without admitting my lie of omission. And it would be hypocritical of you to deny that both of us made unilateral decisions about the other's safety. Both of the decisions we made came from the same place, and for the same reason. Can we agree on at least that for now?"

"You don't fight fair," she grumbled. "Did he tell you who he made the truce with?"

"No. He wouldn't tell me that." Now, let me finish without interruptions." Hearing nothing else from her, he continued to tell her about the occasional warning phone calls and the connection to the mayor's case; and she managed not to interrupt again until he mentioned the meeting at the parking garage."

"You did, what?! What were you thinking?"

"You agreed to let me finish."

"You have to stop."

"Stop before I've told you everything?"

"Stop doing stupid, dangerous things like meeting people like Smith in deserted parking garages. Anything could have happened. If you get yourself killed, then all the waiting and wishing we could be together last summer and all the planning the future and worrying about each other would be for nothing. You'd be gone, Alexis wouldn't have a dad, and Martha would have lost her only child. I love your family, too, you know. They shouldn't have to suffer for this."

"Let me finish and then it's your turn to ask anything you want. Free rein."

He finished telling her about Smith and a few minor things he had found on his own. "It's all at dead ends right now, though."

"Do the boys know about all this?"

"No."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"At first it was because you would have pushed for more information and would have died for it. I couldn't go through that again. You were behaving like you thought you were invincible, but you obviously weren't even quite a hundred percent. You said yourself that you were in denial then. The rest of the team could see it, but you couldn't. Telling you about Smith would have had you looking for him and anything else you could find and getting yourself killed. I couldn't tell you without practically signing your death warrant."

"So, you didn't tell me because you thought my judgment was clouded?"

"Honestly, Kate, when I saw the way you went after that fire marshal, I thought your judgment had gone completely off the rails. Part of my being reasonable tonight was that I understood. By the time you were back to functioning normally in the field, I had put off telling you for long enough that cowardice took over. Things were going well with us, and I didn't want to rock the boat. And the longer I put it off…you know the rest."

"I know the rest. Is this you apologizing?"

"I had to use my judgment as to when you were well enough physically and in the right state of mind to hear it, and that wasn't until a couple of months ago. The only thing I really feel the need to apologize for is that since early in the fall, you didn't know there wasn't a still a target on your back. For that, I may not have a big enough apology."

"So, they sent you to manipulate me into stopping?"

"That may have been the way they saw it. I saw it more as postponing the inevitable and going at it smarter the next time. Your mom's case seems to come back to us in cycles, even when we aren't looking for anything. The rest of our entire team trying to stop you would have been one angry confrontation after another, but I managed to put you off with a promise to work on it together later. It helped that you could see the dead ends, too. You said tonight that every day since the shooting you've been grateful to be alive. I'm grateful to have been handed a chance to keep you that way."

Kate folded her arms across her chest, looking upset and turning away from him.

"It seems other people think I'm the one who can get through to you, but I was doubting that after the argument before Roy's funeral. Did you know your dad came to me to ask me to get you to quit? He knocked on my door, introduced himself, we had a nice little talk, and it sounded like he believed I was the only one who could get you to stand down…and he suspected then that I loved you. Then Roy called me to get you out of the hangar and sent Smith my name as a contact for the same reason. There was a lot of pressure from all that confidence in me."

"My dad came here? Were you and I that obvious then, and that oblivious about it?" She huffed an angry sounding burst of air, still facing away from him. "He and Roy may have been right. No matter how angry I would have been to know they did that, I've never doubted that you'd have my back…or have my best interests at heart."

"That means a lot."

"But I still can't help feeling angry."

"Is a hug okay?"

There wasn't an affirmative answer, but there wasn't a negative one, either; so he took a chance and wrapped his arms around her from behind, his arms enclosing her still folded ones. "I was angry and grumpy when I got to the restaurant, but I did notice. You look beautiful tonight, as usual."

Without thinking, she smoothed her thumb across his wrist, already addicted to the feeling of permission to touch him at will. "Now you're just trying to soften me up," she accused, still sounding cranky. "I deserve a little time to be upset with you." After a little pause and a big sigh, she conceded, "You look pretty sharp tonight yourself."

"Yes, I am. Yes, you do. And thank you," he answered, following with a quick kiss to the side of her head. Taking advantage of the softening as she leaned back against him, he followed with, "I know solving your mother's murder is something you've always regarded as exclusively your responsibility, your territory, but it doesn't have to be. If we're going to share a life and a family, wouldn't it make sense to share that responsibility, too? Can we agree that we won't look into anything more until it comes looking for us again? Meanwhile, we can talk about what we can do to minimize the risks. When you're ready, we can go through everything I have here, and you can add anything I may have missed. You could even bring what you have at home and we can scan it all in so we can reference it later if we need to."

"Fine. You win," she agreed grudgingly.

"No. We both win. You'll have more of the results you want, and I'll still have you…alive and warm and huggable. I'll give you whatever time you need to get over being upset with me."

She turned and wrapped her arms around him, and he realized there were tears again."

"Kate?"

"It's been a good night, and I wouldn't trade the all the progress we've made for anything.

"But?"

"But all this honesty, and all the revelations, and all the emotions…it's been exhausting."

They stood in his office holding each other while Kate pulled herself back together, and Castle finally asked, "Do you have room for ice cream yet? In this household, ice cream makes almost anything at least a little bit better.

She pushed at him without letting him go. "Don't think you can gloss this over with ice cream. It's too big."

"So, you don't want ice cream?"

There was another reprimanding shove. "I didn't say that. If you don't give me any, I'll have to take yours. Just don't think it fixes everything."

Castle chuckled and held her tighter, nuzzling against her hair. "I know this was a lot to take in, and I don't expect you accept it with no ill will at all; but thank you for being as reasonable as you said you'd try to be."

"It's a good thing I love you so much."

"I have to admit, I'm feeling the same way." He pulled away, took her hand and led her to the kitchen.

When Martha came downstairs about ten minutes later, the two of them were sitting close together on the sofa and eating ice cream with their feet propped on the coffee table.

"I take it dinner went well," she said as she reached the bottom of the stairs. "Katherine, you look lovely. Is this a celebration?"

"Yes, Mother. Dinner went well. And yes, I've told her everything. She's asked me a gazillion questions as we sat here, and we've come to an understanding about all of our secrets. We're going to be fine."

"Does this mean that sometime in the not too distant future I might get a daughter-in-law that I actually want?"

"Probably," Kate answered with a shy smile.

"Oh, my. Tonight did go well, didn't it?"

"Would you like to join us for ice cream, Martha?"

"I'll join you for a few minutes, but I think I'll celebrate with the last of that lovely bottle of red in the cooler. Then I'll leave the two of you alone. I wouldn't want to impede any further progress."

"I might have something new for you to try soon. Kate introduced me to her mother's favorite wine tonight. I think you'd like it."

Martha talked to them long enough to finish her wine, then went back upstairs as promised. Castle pulled Kate close and kissed her again, and she willingly indulged him.

"I think you should take me home now."

"I don't want to let you go."

"And I don't really want you to…which is why I should go. We talked through a lot of things we needed to have in the open and made some concessions for each other. All good things, but there's still an edgy feeling in the air. I'd love to stay with you…or have you stay with me, but the first time we share a bed, I don't want any feelings between us except being in love...and wanting everything that's a part of it."

"Which is the only reason you haven't seen me down on one knee yet. I feel the same way about that moment."

"When you get to that moment, I don't want you on one knee like you're putting me on some kind of pedestal. I want you to stand and look me in the eye on equal footing." Then she flashed him her mischievous smirk. "Or lying next to me under the covers when you look me in the eye would work, too."

Castle chuckled, planted a quick kiss to her lips, and said, "We'll play that by ear. I'll get my keys."

They held hands and talked on the way to Kate's apartment and made out a little bit inside her front door, and then Castle reluctantly left.

xxxxx

When he got home, Martha was in the kitchen and asked him for details about the evening; and in unspoken agreement, they sat down in the living room to talk. Without giving her all the particulars about their conversations, he told her about the restaurant and the owners and the significance of all of that in Kate's life. When he almost reverently told her the reasons Kate had given for deciding to meet him there, Martha looked impressed.

"That was quite the grand gesture on her part. It couldn't have been easy for her. I hope you were suitably appreciative."

"This has been an evening I'll treasure for the rest of my life…and it looks blessedly like I'll be spending life with Kate."

"I'm happy for you, Richard. I have the feeling the two of you might last for a lifetime."

"She told me she knows the world will see her with Richard Castle but that she's in love with Richard Alexander Rodgers. She wants me, Mother…just me, exactly the way I am."

"Well, any woman who wants my boy just for himself most certainly has my blessings."

"She even admitted to dreaming about being married to me and having my babies."

"You still want more babies? You've already entered the forties zone…"

"I've always wanted more babies. I'll get to be a dad again. Don't rain on my parade."

"Whatever you want. I'll just wait until you actually have them and then say, 'I told you so', and proceed to thoroughly spoil my new grandchildren," she teased. "Will you be seeing Katherine tomorrow?"

"I plan to call her in the morning and see how things look in the light of day, and we'll go from there." He stood and stretched. "I think I'll go to bed, and I expect to sleep better than I have in several days."

Martha stood with him and gave him a hug. "Congratulations, Son. It looks like your dreams are coming true." She kissed his cheek and said, "Sweet Dreams, Darling."