N/A: The following will be written in a film-formatted setting, viewer displacement is advised.
Act 1
The Opening scene showcases the number of the year this film takes place in..which is 300 AC..
Horses could be heard as the camera changed to an area with fog covering everywhere, with a little light being shown down from the high crescent moon, allowing some moon rays to go through the mist.
The sound of horses came closer and closer, until..humanoid shapes could be seen, one with a large backpack and the one beside him wearing a crown.
The two stop as the camera inched closer, showcasing what looks to be A king from the northern regions of Westeros, and his servant, who was holding a coconut..
Wait, did I say they're on horses? I mea-
"GET ON WITH IT!" The two shouted at the narrator of this pseudo-film, taking me by surprise.
Ignoring anymore interruptions, they continued their journey to a castle of rocky origins with some snow here and there, really it's not much of a terrain of respectable status.
They arrived at the gates as its guards looked down at them, seeing that they're at his attention, he began to greet them. "Hello ther-"
"General Kenobi, who's the other one?" A guard spoke back on the ground at them from the high unmeasurable walls of the castle.
"Wrong film, but I, Sir Guard, am King Robb! First of his name, King of the North and Lord of Winterfell." Robb spoke and greeted the guard.
"Pull the other." The guard answered dismissively. "You know, I could've sworn this area we aren't supposed to be at, you know, with the environmentalists demanding we decrease the smoke machine to record the earlier scene."
"No no, they wouldn't care as this is fictional." Another guard popped out from another frame.
"Actually, they would. At this point they would care about crucifying whoever they want nowadays, and blame someone because their shoes are untied." The first guard answered back to the new guard.
"And this is my servant, Walder Frey." King Robb cut in after they finished that tidbit of their talking.
Silence spoke before the 2nd guard began talking. "So are you going to explain why you think you're riding a horse? Your friend Argus Filch is just banging coconuts together to sound like horses!"
"What do you mean? We're both riding on horses, you blind or something?" The young king asked with befuddlement.
"The only thing I'm blind at is your incompetence, really the only reason you survived after the red wedding this time is because the writer didn't allow your death to happen." The first guard retorted back to the King.
Ignoring the guard's retort, the Elder Stark began stating why he was here to begin with. "I, and my trusted servant here, request to come and see your lord and master to join us in our war against the Lannisters" The last word was spoken with venom. "and restore honour to the entire Kingdom of Westeros."
An awkward silence was heard before an answer could be heard to break the spell of silence..
"So where did you get those coconuts? Did your Lady give them to you?" Asked the first guard, seemingly interested on how the King got those coconuts. "If it was, it must've been a terrible baby joke."
"If not, was it given to you as your farewell gift from some squid? For all we know he joined a force to burn Winterfell without you knowing." the 2nd guard entered the conversation.
"Or given to you as your Wedding gift." The first guard placed his hand on his chin, thinking through many reasons.
"Or was given to you because you're hard headed, could've explained why the coconuts are in half." The 2nd guard pretended to hold a coconut, banged it on his head, and separated the coconut.
"Or was given to you so you could make a face on it.."
"And call it Wilson!" A third guard appeared, all three not noticing the King's reddened face full of anger, humiliation, and frustration.
"ENOUGH!"
"Enough what? Back talking to some kid in a costume? What is this? A quest for the Holy Grail?" The three knights laughed again after retorting to the King once again.
"H-Holy..Grail?" Robb probed, interested in this..interesting information, although putting to the back of his mind some..revenge against these guards for some unnecessary slights against their liege's liege's liege.
The three guards looked at each other before closing in and whispered feverishly for a few moments before grinning, looking back at the Lord, one of the guards spoke. "Of course, the Holy Grail, it gives a boost to the drinker's health, heals all injuries and restores all limbs. How do you not know that kid?"
Entranced and thinking of all possibilities while using this..Holy Grail, The King imagined all of his forces, being depleted heavily from the Red Wedding, being restored back to their prime and able to fight the Lannisters kicking and screaming..especially with fresh and prime forces.
The young King grinned with excitement at what he imagined, he looked back up at the guards, who were no doubt still using him as part of their jokes. "You have..given me much thought, Sir Guards. I will bid you and your master a farewell for now." The Stark and his servant began 'riding' away from the castle and from the 'misty' location.
Silence awaits back at the castle before the three begin laughing loudly, attracting their liege lord from the castle to where they were. "Why are you all three laughing?"
Claiming down, the 3rd Guard answered. "Some kid thought a Grail that can heal all wounds is real, and probably tried to search for it." the three started laughing once again.
"Wait, that exists? EVERYONE, GET ME A GROUP, WE'RE GOING SEARCHING! Also your tests on Swallows today are canceled." Their liege ran away, back to his castle to begin preparing a search force for the Holy Grail.
The three laughed again before looking at each other. "So..was our liege talking about the Volantis Swallow?" The first Guard asked.
"No, probably the air-speed velocity of an unladen Dornish Swallow." The three began bickering as the camera began paneling backwards, to the night sky with the words: "Young Wolf of the North and the Holy Grail."