Bob Hasek was a hero. He died trying to save his family from a burning building, he did. Maybe he wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed but one thing that Bob had in spades was obnoxiously high courage. Whether that was due to his stupidity or his bravery, one could not tell.
When he came home with a bag full of groceries one day, only to be greeted by billowing smoke and hot, hot fire, he wrapped his shirt around his breathing holes and charged in like a lunatic, no questions asked.
Of course, somehow, after hearing the sound of babies crying, he miraculously managed to locate his cousins' room amidst the smoke and set to work extracting the targets like one of his video game scenarios. His brain knew no panic or fear. Thankfully, the fire was only in the initial stages of becoming a raging inferno so it, as of yet, wasn't a herculean task by any means and he was able to get his cousins out to safety and lay them down on his neighbour's front lawn, far away from the burning house.
The moment he did, he heard distant sounds of sirens approaching his neighbourhood—what he guessed belonged to the firefighters. He could've stopped there and called it a day, leaving it to the authorities. He should've stopped there. Then he remembered that his Aunt was supposed to be in the house with the children. Looking back, he saw the house was literally becoming a giant bonfire. What was on easy mode before, extracting small and light babies from a mildly burning building, was now on a level above hard mode, extracting an entire grown woman from what now seems to be a house in hell. A normal person would've hesitated. A normal person would have calculated the risk of going back into the hellfire of doom. But not Bob. With a less-than-average intelligence, a heart of gold, and an indestructible will, he leapt back into the fray.
…Only to have the entire house collapse on him the moment he did.
From raging flames and billowing smoke to ashes and char, Bob died from being burned alive. He could not understand the concepts of such demise. He was a man of instincts for instincts were all he had. Even with his dumb-as-a-rock brain, he could understand that he was…different from others. Growing up, he could not do the things other kids could. He could not understand basic math or English or history or science. He could count but even basic addition and subtraction were beyond him. He could speak and read basic sentences but bigger words eluded him. But he'd lived the best he could he died without an ounce of regret.
Now, there was nothing but darkness. No more flames, no more heat burning his skin. It was…peaceful…
Poor child…
Hmm..?
Was that a voice Bob heard?
Like a canoe on a flowing river, he was drifting between the soothing currents of this strange place. He was drifting and drifting and drifting. Then…he stopped.
The next thing Bob knew was that he was sitting on a couch, oddly comfortable if not simply designed. In front of him was a man with a long white beard holding a staff of twisted wood. He reminded Bob of that movie he once watched. A movie about a ring? He forgot. But he remembered one such character of similar characteristics to the man before him.
"…Gandalf?" Bob asked, "is that you?"
The man in front of him first gave a confused stare, then a bark of laughter. "Ha! wouldn't be the first time! It was either that or Dumbledore! Every time laddie, every time! You Earthlings have the fondest love for your culture."
Bob didn't exactly know what to say to the man. The last thing he remembered was being burnt alive.
"…Am I dead?"
The old man gave him a nod and a peaceful smile, not the usual look of pity Bob was used to.
"Aye, laddie, you've died a hero. You've saved your baby Cousins, and they will live long bountiful lives because of your actions." The man gestured to a weird distortion in space, showing Bob an image of his cousins being picked up by the firefighters and transferred to the hospital. It showed him their destined lives. First orphans, then adopted to a good family at a young age. One grew up to be an astronaut! The other is a doctor of the highest capabilities.
Bob could not understand very much but he somehow found that his thoughts flowed easier in his mind, capable of understanding what was going on more than he used to.
"Thank you," Bob said.
The man only smiled. "No, Bob. Thank you for doing such good despite your conditions."
Bob nodded. "…Auntie?"
The old man gave an apologetic smile. "Dead, laddie, as it was her time. She chose Elysium and will live on for eternity in the blessed city."
"Now, because of the accrual of your positive actions and deeds throughout your life, you've stacked up…quite a bit of Karma points, laddie!"
Bob didn't understand what the man was saying but he nodded anyway.
"Now, there are two paths here. For souls such as yourself, you have the option to go to Elysium, or to reincarnate into another world."
Bob still didn't understand what the old man was saying and he paused a little, digesting the words. The old man showed nothing but a gentle smile and grandfatherly patience—which Bob appreciated.
As the words came to him, he latched on to one specifically.
"Reincarnation?"
"Yes laddie, there are many universes in the multiverse, you may wish to be reincarnated into any!"
"…Naruto," Bob said.
"W-What?" the old man spluttered, gobsmacked.
"Reincarnation. Naruto."
"Y-you want to reincarnate into the Naruto universe?"
"Yes."
"B-but why?! That place is a mess! Ever since Kishimoto created that universe, it had been nothing but war and death!"
"…I love Naruto Anime and Manga."
"…"
"…"
"A-are you sure, laddie?"
"Yes."
The old man was positively panicking. He feared that this strange soul knew not of what it asked for and was distraught between appeasing this soul with his wish or doing something akin to stopping a small child from playing with fire.
"Laddie, that place is hell. Literally! It's an actual hell world. It's a place we send evil souls. It's nothing but death and war and death and killing and, oh look, more death!" The old man determinately chided. "It is no place for good souls such as yourself!"
"I love Naruto."
"…"
"…"
"Tell me, lad, would you be able to kill a child? because that is the type of cutthroat world you're wishing to step into."
Bob shook his head. "I cannot…but…but"
In a rather clear sense of realisation, where his thoughts flowed into a more cohesive chain, Bob let out what felt to be the largest burden set on his shoulders since he'd been born.
"I don't want to feel powerless anymore."
The old man stared at Bob, almost as if he was reading his thoughts, and it took a moment before the old man caught something in Bob's eyes that made his own widen in understanding.
The old man sighed. "I guess I'll see what I can do. I'm only a Judge and cosmic laws prevent me from doing too much but…"
The old man's eyes glazed over for a minute and seemed to be looking at a place far far away that Bob could not see.
"Ah!" the old man snapped out of his trance, "Alright! normally souls such as you would use Karma points to buy houses and such in Elysium or to upgrade their body before reincarnation into a new world. But for a hero like yourself, the eyes of Odin the chief Judge has found itself upon you and blesses you with something not many has seen for a long long time."
He gestured to his side after a square metal cube. "Loot boxes!"
Bob could only stare.
"Ah! I tend to get over-excited sometimes, but…how do I explain this…"
The man gathered his thoughts for a few seconds.
"When transferring a soul into a new world, the Judge's powers are limited. I cannot give you something that will grant you an edge directly and potentially have you taking over that world. That would give Judges the power to claim worlds that do not belong to them! Such authority cannot be abused and alas, the council came up with this idea." He gestured to the cube once again. "With the chance to win a 'power,' it will be lady luck who decides the fate of your destiny and she is nothing but impartial."
Bob nodded, sort of getting the gist of it. He played gatcha games on his mobile phones before and knew what loot boxes normally meant.
"Now, based on your 5960 karma points, you can choose if you want a bronze loot box which costs 100KP, silver loot boxes which are 500, golds which are 1000, diamonds which are 2500 and the rarest, which is mystique, at 5000. Normally I'd recommend a mixture of the few but I've never even seen a mystique box before and I've lived for almost 3 million years!"
"I'll take the mystique then," Bob said, "then one silver and four bronzes"
The boxes he asked for were laid in front of him.
"Alright laddie, which one first?"
"Bronze."
As Bob replied, one of the bronze boxes started spinning and emitting a bright white light. Then it exploded. Bob flinched, as any normal person would but found that he was not harmed in any way. The old man paid him no mind and was focused on a strangely floating piece of paper at the centre of the explosion.
"Ah, let's see what you've gotten, laddie," the old man said as he took the paper and read it, "Ah, ambidextrous! not a bad bronze tier skill to have! it will serve you quite well."
Bob nodded in agreement. "More bronze?"
Another bronze box opened up to reveal another page.
"Hm? uhmm Dancing…Dancing is alright…I guess" the old man shrugged, "next!"
Another bronze box exploded to reveal…a giant sickle.
The sickle floated upwards then shot towards Bob and went straight into his chest.
"GAH!" Bob shouted.
"No need to worry laddie, it's just an heirloom item. Hey now, if you ever want to harvest some wheat, you can do it twice as effective as you normally would!"
"…" Bob said nothing as he stared at his chest, expecting a deep gory wound only to find…nothing.
The last bronze box started shaking with energy without prompting and exploded to show another piece of paper.
"Last bronze boy! last see here…"
"…"
"…"
"Yes?" Bob enquired, "What is it?"
"It uh…" the old man said perplexedly, "…breathing"
"…"
"…"
"…breathing?"
"…" The old man scratched his head, "didn't even know that breathing was an actual skill to be completely honest with you, boy."
Bob slumped slightly. Even with his limited brain power, he knew that his chances of surviving in the shinobi world seemed to be getting slimmer by the minute. But his determination to go didn't diminish. Even if he ended up with nothing, he would still want to be a ninja.
"Silver."
"Right-o laddie!"
The silver box trembled and rattled, twisted and turned and gave off a slighter bigger explosion than the bronze one. Another sheet of paper was shown.
"Let us see here…" the old man. "Oh! An Earth affinity. Yes, that would be very useful!"
Bob smiled and gave a small cheer. An affinity to elemental jutsu would do him good in his future endeavours.
"Alas, without further ado laddie," the old man said, barely able to contain his excitement, "the mystique box is the only one left. Are you ready?"
"Yes," Bob said.
And thus, the mystique box split into two. There were no explosions but bursting the middle of the split pieces was a giant lottery wheel with…blank slots.
"Ah, a wheel! Fascinating!" the old man said.
"…"
"…"
"I think I'm supposed to spin it" Bob said.
"Ah! Yes, of course! of course! Definitely knew that, yes."
Bob approached the wheel and with a sent prayer to this lady luck person, he yanked one of the pegs and spun the wheel as fast as he could. It took longer than he thought it would for it to slow down but as he did, he observed that the blank slots of the wheels were no longer so. Bob thought he caught a few glimpses of some of the options.
Mokuton, Scorch release, Lava release, Sharingan, Rinnegan, Byakugan, Sage affinity, and so many more. Bob gasped as he realised that they were all legendary Kekkei Genkai unique to some clans or individuals in the Naruto universe. The old man beside him must have realised it too as he also gasped.
"My word! There are even some there that aren't local to the Naruto universe! Super Saiyan? Bankai Mode? What is all of this?"
Then the wheel started to slow and both the old man and Bob watched with trepidation as the arrow of the lottery wheel started to lower its cadence.
Click. Click. Click.
Past Sharingan.
Click. Click.
Past Super Saiyan.
Click.
Right past Rinnegan.
Cliiiiiick.
It seemed to stop on Mokuton.
Then.
Click.
"…"
"…"
Bob stared at the old man who was blushing like a tomato.
"What is that?" Bob asked.
"…Lust Release." The old man wiped a bead of sweat from his forehead.
"What does that do?" Bob asked.
"…" The old man mumbled a reply.
"Sorry?"
"You'll find out when you get there lad!" The old man suddenly exclaimed, blushing even more, then mumbled: "Why is that even there?! The council banished that broken aspect trillions of years ago! How is this possible? What do I do? WhatdoIdowhatdoidowhat—"
"Ahem" Bob pointedly cleared his throat.
"Ah! right, laddie." The old man gathered himself. "With the 60 remaining points, it's just enough to download the cosmic system for you. Now off you go! Goodbye!"
"W-Wait"
Then Bob knew darkness.