Teacher's Pet 01

Breakfast was never a quiet affair at Hogwarts. I was slowly coming to realize just how normal people found it to talk while eating. To be honest, I still didn't really get it. Once upon a time I had probably had a great many conversations during meals. Yet, since mom's accident and Emma's poisoning of my school life, I hadn't really had anyone to talk to at lunch in a very long time.

In this magic school of magic, everyone wanted to talk to everyone else. It almost made it hard to keep half an ear on Dumbledore's conversation with Fudge.

Almost.

"Taylor, you're going to have to teach me how you do that one of these days."

I slowly turned my head and stared at Tracey, blinking once. "Do what?"

"Wow, that's even better! You're so broody. I'm jealous."

"I'm not - Daphne, am I brooding?"

The blonde sighed, the corners of her mouth lifting up. "Yeah. You are." She shook her head a moment later and her expression settled back down into careful nonchalance. "Something on your mind?"

"Nothing much. I'm just growing increasingly convinced that your Minister is working for the enemy. He's not exactly subtle about being a racist, cowardly, bigot. It's not much of a jump to see him falling into line if Voldemort told him to jump, is it?"

Wow, I apparently knew how to quiet a table. Go me. It seemed like I had negative charisma… At least that's what Alec would claim.

"Who are you?" Draco murmured.

"Why are you all looking at me like that?" I grunted. "It's a sound tactic. Put a planted stooge in a position of power or, failing that, subvert the highest government rep you can and then make your move. I've seen it before. You have to take out the moles to stand a chance against the enemy faction."

Astoria grinned at me. "Taylor, are you planning a coup?"

I rolled my eyes and shook my spoon at her. "Is it really a coup if the guy is already allied with terrorists, knowingly or not, and trying to overthrow himself?"

"Heh. You sure don't do things by half measures." Tracey saluted me. "Show them bigots what's what!"

"Daphne, you okay?" She was looking a little flushed.

"What - I'm fine - I mean - I just - And you - Planning like Morganna - Dastardly - It's very hot in here."

It took a few seconds to come up with an appropriate response to that. I eventually settled on what felt perfectly appropriate. "What?"

Daphne groaned and leaned into her hand. "Nothing. Just ignore me."

"Congratulations, dear sister." Daphne glared at her younger clone through her fingers. Astoria just smirked. Looking at me, she said, "She thinks your justifications for treason are intriguing."

I shrugged. "If I ever go home, remind me to introduce you all to my friend. All she does is talk people into circles and she's really good about playing up the loveable rogue angle. You'd adore her, Daphne."

Daphne groaned and laid her head on the table, her hands running through her hair and clutching her scalp.

"… What did I say?"

Astoria snorted. "Oh, merry Morgana. And here I thought some of my friends were bad."

"Daphne, Daphne, can I tell her? Can I tell her, please!?" Tracey on the other hand, had a grin wide enough to split her face in half and she was poking her friend in the arm while Daphne just glared back.

"I will hurt you," the blonde hissed.

"Right, and on that, I think I'm going to take my leave before I get even more confused. I need to go try and get a meeting with the Headmaster anyway. I'll see you guys later."

I was outside the Great Hall before my bugs picked up Draco shaking his head and sighing. "Merlin, that girl is oblivious. Is that all natural or did you Obliviate her too much?" This set off another round of giggles from Tracey and Astoria.

Daphne picked her head up and scowled. "She could just not be interested."

What the hell were they even talking about? I already said I was looking at Fudge like a particularly annoying cockroach…

"Daphne. I've seen Taylor checking out Sue Li. I've seen how she stares at Susan's chest."

Of course I watched Sue Li. She was so incredibly fit and lithe. I knew she went on a morning run around the lake almost every day, but that couldn't be enough to maintain her shape. I needed to ask her about her exercise routine.

Susan was just unfair. High school girls weren't supposed to be that well developed! Lisa and I had complained about it all the time back home. The only reason I was fairly certain that Susan's figure didn't have anything to do with magic was how embarrassed she got by people mentioning it.

"If she's not a witches' witch, I'll go streaking in Gringotts." Draco turned back to his food as Tracey nearly imploded in giggles.

I frowned as I walked along the corridor. "A witches' witch? What the heck is…" I trailed off, my steps slowing to a stop and my eyes widening.

Daphne collapsed back onto the tabletop. "I'm not sure that helps; because then it's me that's not interesting!"

Oh.

Tracey leaned over and patted Daphne's back while Astoria and Blaise started laughing.

Oh no.

Blaise was able to get out between chuckles, "Daphne Greengrass not interesting? Perish the thought!"

Oh. No.

"Fuck."

/\(oo)/\\ /\(oo)/\\ /\(oo)/\\ /\(oo)/\\

I glared at the gargoyle, my body utterly still as the bugs throughout the castle started to dance in increasingly intricate patterns.

"I. Just. Want. To. Arrange. A. Meeting. You. Stupid. Piece. Of. Stone."

I was going to start breaking pieces off of this thing soon.

"Parlez-vous français? Sprechen sie Deutsch?" I waited a second in complete silence. "Well good, because I can't speak either of those languages either." Still absolutely nothing. The doxies started fighting each other. "Am I supposed to twist your ear? Poke your eye? Tickle your elbow? Tell me how to wake you up! I'm trying to be civilized here!"

Fuck this.

This day was too frustrating by half and it had barely even started!

With barely a thought, I pulled together all of the bugs in Dumbledore's office assembling a swarm clone a few paces behind the armchair. He noticed it immediately - he'd have to be blind not to see the bugs surging, but I wasn't going to take anything for granted today. The old man's eyes widened to a comical degree before and his face paled. Perhaps I could have moved slower, but really, if he hadn't pieced together my abilities, there wasn't any point in coming up here anyway. Letting him see the scope was tactical.

That his hand was clenched white-knuckled around his wand in the second it took me to call up the clone was good information. It was also encouraging to see him slowly loosen his death-grip and breathe a shaky breath out as my clone solidified its shape.

"Miss Hebert, I presume?" His voice was somewhat steadier than most of the heroes I'd come across who experienced my Swarm. I didn't get it, they were just bugs.

"Your stupid gargoyle won't talk to me and it refuses to take a message or set up an appointment. I was perfectly willing to go about things the normal method but, I'm beginning to think you don't actually want visitors. Or that this godforsaken carving just doesn't work for me. Can I set something up? I think we need to talk about a few things that could affect us both."

Dumbledore licked his lips, his wand vanishing back into his shirt though his posture didn't sag at all. "I do not know why my guardian failed, my apologies. Do come up - in person - Miss Hebert. I was waylaid this morning, so I was about to head down for some breakfast. It's no concern to delay a trifle longer. One moment." He flicked his wand and the next moment the obstinate piece of stone was stepping out of my path.

I continued to glare at the piece of architecture as I sauntered past it and onto the staircase. My bug clone fell apart, the critters flying back to their normal hidey-holes. As I stepped into Dumbledore's office, he was still peering at the edges of the room with a critical eye.

"Ah, Miss Hebert. So good to see you in person! Come in, sit down, sit down. Lemon drop?"

"No thanks, I'm good. I'm too annoyed to eat anything right now." I dropped into the proffered armchair. Fawkes chirped and flew over to his perch on the desk; it was hard to read bird expressions, but I could swear the smug bastard was smirking at me.

"I do hope my gate guardian did not put you off your morning too badly, Miss Hebert."

I shook my head. "I shouldn't be so surprised. It's just got frustrating because of everyone else going on this morning. Have you ever had half your life recontextualized in the span of about 15 seconds?"

"Ah," Dumbledore chuckled. "One of those mornings. If I may hazard a guess, a crush?"

"Apparently I'm gay. Or bi? I think I'm bi. How the fuck am I bi and I didn't even know I was bi? I mean, boys are nice! They are… nice."

"Of course."

I glared at him. "Don't you start too! I stare at boys. I know I stare at boys. I stared at Brian. He had an amazing physique, he was so buff. It's not my fault that you and your wizard school don't encourage people to go to the gym."

"Certainly not."

"Girls can be pretty too. I mean - I was just - Admiring a girl's looks is normal and natural and - How the fuck did I not realize I was bisexual?!"

"It can take quite a long time for people to realize who they fancy. It's nothing to be ashamed about, Miss Hebert."

"I'm not ashamed, I'm embarrassed," I snapped. The doxies were fighting again. I tried in vain to get them to stop, yet the instant my attention wandered, they immediately started trying to stab and bite each other again. Not that most of the other critters were all that much better. Joy. "Someone has been flirting with me for weeks and I only just figured that out. I've been reciprocating without being aware of it. I've been leading her on and not even realizing it! I'm a horrible person!"

Dumbledore shook his head, suddenly every bit the grandfatherly old man that he appeared as. "Miss Hebert, you are hardly the first to be quite dismal at relationships or the intricacies of interpersonal awareness, especially at your age. Take myself for instance. I was quite awful in my youth, it took me years before I realized my friend thought we were more than just friends."

I raised an eyebrow, the deathmatches among my creatures slowing as I stared. "Aren't you supposed to be one of the primary manipulators of people in this day and age? That's what the Slytherins say at least."

"I try to be forthright more often than not, but they are not wrong. I was not always so accomplished however. In my younger years, I was friends with Gellert Grindelwald. I do not know how much history you are aware of Miss Hebert, but this man would later go on to become -"

"Wizard Hitler right?" I had been studying.

Dumbledore winced, his entire frame pulling away from me with the movement. "That is… not entirely inaccurate. I would say he was more of a Wizard Supremacist, but functionally there is little difference. And he did support the regime during the Second Muggle Great War." Dumbledore's shoulders sagged and his head drooped. The man looked all his post-centennial age at that moment and I felt guilty for bringing it up. He had just been saying that the two had been friends. Damn me and my mouth.

"Regardless, that is more evidence to my point. I did not realize until it was nearly too late just what sort of man Gellert was." He straightened and tried to smile. "I like to think I have improved with age! I saw Voldemort when he was but a student at Hogwarts and… Ah, actually… I did not do as quite as much as I could have as I did not fully trust my instincts and… Perhaps I am not the best example."

"I don't think that has much to do with what I was talking about either," I murmured.

"Hmm, true, true. Oh! I have another example of poor relationships that you can take heart from!"

"Please no."

"My old protege was Newt Scamander. He was notoriously invested in his creatures - not unlike yourself. Yet, Newt ended up married to a wonderful woman with a beautiful child that is just as curious and impressive as the both of them." Dumbledore paused, then frowned. "Though, truthfully, Newt would likely have never gotten married had Tina not initiated their courtship, as he was quite hopeless in that regard throughout all of his life. Even now he still regularly vanishes for weeks without telling anyone to search out a particular beast that has caught his fancy and only realizes it's upsetting his loved ones later…"

"Dumbledore, seriously, stop. You're not helping. I don't know what point you're trying to make. I don't even know what point I was trying to make anymore. I kind of appreciate the attempt, but if this is your way of telling me that I'm going to grow up to be a hopeless fool who cannot be trusted to deal with any sort of romance on my own, please stop."

"Yes, perhaps I'm not the best person to provide relationship advice," the man chuckled. "I was attempting to give you support and show that others have managed things well enough in your shoes! I have failed. Horribly. Instead I will simply say this: talk to the girl who has been flirting with you. It cannot end worse than this conversation has."

I groaned. "You got that right."

"Shall we move on?"

"Yes. Just because I'm going through a crisis doesn't mean that I want to talk about my entire life story with you."

I started to reply further before pausing, taking stock of my quiet swarm and my steady breathing. Eyeing the Headmaster, I cocked my head to the side. "Huh. That's impressive."

He smiled. "I have been a teacher for a very long time, Miss Hebert. You do not have many tells, but you still have some. Are you feeling better now?"

"Actually, yeah."

"Excellent. I believe you had business to discuss before your revelation threw you for a loop?"

Nodding, I leaned forward. "Did you know that you used to have a brood swarm of acromantula expanding towards the school and that they were primed to descend on the students in just a few months?"

Fawkes trilled and Dumbledore's expression darkened. "I was aware of the acromantula presence, however I was informed that the situation was under control. Are you saying that this is not the case?"

I snorted. "Handled? Who told you that?"

"A person that I trust implicitly."

"Well either they didn't know what they were talking about or they didn't understand acromantula." I sighed. "The leader - the King - Aragog was keeping them from going after the kids here. As soon as he died all bets were going to be off. Whoever you had watching them, fire the guy. You were going to be swarmed by giant spiders and people were going to die. I don't care how good your defenses were, there were a lot of fucking giant spiders in that brood."

"Were?" Shrewd old man.

"Yeah: were. The situation is handled now."

"I see."

"I didn't kill more than a few of them." I grimaced. "It seemed… wrong, and also a waste of resources. Some of these guys are as big as buses. If anyone tries to attack this school, that's a hell of a defense. Especially with the basilisk dead; it's nice to have another strong stick in reserve."

Dumbledore reared back. "You are aware of the basilisk."

I spread my arms out to the side. "Dumbledore, let's not pretend. You have a damn good idea about what I can do and how much I can see and manipulate. This should not be a surprise to you."

"Contrary to popular opinion, I do not see everything."

I breathed out and shook my head. "Sure. Let's go with that. Lucky for you I happen to be on the side of your school. Your acromantula problem is under control now by the way. They're mine now."

Dumbledore sighed. "I assumed as much after I saw your affinity for the charmed insect construct. I must confess, Miss Hebert, I am uncertain if this is a kinder fate than killing them."

"I have very little sympathy for them overall. They were all looking forward to sinking their fangs into your students. While I may not feel right killing them out of hand, I don't actually mind suborning them. They have an insect mindset, none of the living even mind this new state of affairs. The only one that had issues with control, willingly ceded the brood to me before asking me to kill him honorably."

"Ah. Aragog is dead then."

"On that note, do you have anywhere farther away that I can establish a smaller colony of acromantula? A place where they can settle a tinier brood and start growing outward in a safer direction?"

Dumbledore looked at her, her fingers steepling. "I find myself confused over your request, Miss Hebert. I thought you said that the leader of this brood had just passed on."

I lowered my arm to the desk. A small spider with extremely intricate whorls and coloring slowly crawled down out of my hair and settled on the back of my hand. "This is Annabeth. She's a baby. She has two sisters. All three are very young and not really smart enough yet to understand much. As they get older I'm going to want to move them to their own habitats. The way it was explained to me, the Queens among their kind can keep the acromantula civilized. Aragog was never going to be able to manage; yet he and his ilk had massacred her and her people a long time ago. I'm bringing them back."

Fawkes leaned down, casting his head one way, then the other, staring at Annabeth through each eye. He trilled, extended one wing, and touched the tip to the spider. Annabeth lifted up as tall as her small legs could get her, and waved her two front legs in greeting.

"I must say, Miss Hebert," Dumbledore murmured, his voice nearly too soft to hear. "You are constantly full of surprises. I will find groves that will work for your children and inform you of their locations in short order. Do ensure that they are aware of the centaurs. I would caution you to introduce Annabeth and her sisters to the local herd as well before taking them to their new homes. It may ease relations."

"Thanks for the tip." Then I processed what he said. "Wait! There are centaurs in those woods?! Centaurs. Half-man, half-horse? Actually centaurs?!"

"Indeed," he was smiling again. Bastard. A girl can get excited over more awesome magic fantasy creatures. Sue me.

"I'm never going to hear the end of this, and if you tell Daphne you will regret it for weeks, but… Can I ride a centaur?"

"If you wish to gravely insult them, then yes!"

Oh that smug jerk.

"I hate centaurs. Fuck centaurs. Okay, moving on."

Dumbledore laughed, waving for me to continue. Annabeth scurried off of my hand and started to explore his desk top.

"How sure are you that Fudge isn't working with Voldemort?"

That threw Dumbledore for a loop. His laughter stopped like a switch had been thrown and he simply met my gaze, his eyes wide and his mouth slightly open. "You think the Minister is - No. No, Miss Hebert, I do not follow your logic. Cornelius is… I am loathe to say this, however the more I interact with him recently the more convinced I become: the Minister is not intelligent enough to walk such a route. As obstructive as he may appear, he is simply a particularly frightened individual. Frightened men often take unfortunate actions, actions that can seem threatening and villainous in hindsight."

I shook my head and held up a hand starting to tick off fingers. "Yeah, I don't believe that for a second. I heard your meeting this morning. He's not just racist, he's also actively malicious. He's trying to turn an entire country against a teenager and - unless I'm wildly missing my mark - a war hero. Not to mention that from what people keep telling me Harry is supposed to be some sort of golden goose when it comes to Voldemort. He's survived what? Four direct fights with the guy and Fudge is trying to vilify him?"

"As I said, he is a scared man. Cornelius Fudge does not wish to acknowledge even the possibility that the Dark Lord could have returned. He is lashing out in the only way he understands how: the political theater."

"I'll tell you this, Dumbledore, if Fudge isn't a plant, then he's a better villain than all of the villains I knew. And that's saying something."

The Headmaster sagged, again showing his age. "I understand your concerns. I have them myself at times. Yet, I assure you, he has his heart in the right place. He just needs to be reminded of that. I am uncertain how to do that at this point however, considering he is making it quite clear that we are enemies at the moment."

"I noticed. Thank you for getting your teacher in before he could get another stooge planted by the way."

Dumbledore winced. "I would not want another repeat of 'Hogwarts Justice' as the students have taken to calling it."

I smirked. "Gonna have to remember to call it that."

"Dolores is not expected to survive."

"Good."

"Miss Hebert," he paused, seeming to collect his thoughts before continuing, "everyone deserves a second chance."

I scowled. "No. They really fucking don't. Anyone who tries to better themselves, who pushes to be a person worth redemption, they deserve a shot. People like Umbridge, like Fudge? They don't deserve shit. They beat people down and torture and hurt and kill and then go home and pat themselves on the back while sipping their tea. I'm pretty strong here. I'm not going to let that stand. Not anymore."

"Those are dangerous words, Miss Hebert. You should take care to ensure you don't jump down a slope that is too steep to climb back up."

I glanced around the room seeing the collection of portraits on the walls. Turning back to the Headmaster, I met his gaze. "Can you blind and deafen those?" I asked, jerking my thumb over my shoulder to point at the paintings.

He was silent for a long moment, then nodded once and snapped his fingers. The portraits all seemed to freeze in their current position. Satisfied, I stood up, Annabeth running up my arm and settling back into my hair. I started to pace, making an effort to not offload any of my reactions into the swarm around the castle.

"I think you've figured out that I'm not from around here. Right?" Dumbledore nodded. "My world, it's not like here. There is very little hope to go around, Dumbledore. We're dying by inches. Everyone born in my world knows that it's only a matter of time before the Endbringers live up to their name. The only question is whether that happens in our lifetime or in our kids' lives. Nobody wonders if it will be longer, they know better. We can pretend to fool ourselves for a bit, live our lives, pretend to be happy, believe in happy endings, that the good guys will win. But in our hearts, we all know that the comfort is not real, it's a fabrication so we can make it to the next day. But one day, there's going to be a fourth Endbringer, then a fifth. My world fights the darkness, but there's no hope, Dumbledore."

"I can see why you would be eager to protect your charges if that is the environment you were accustomed to," he said, voice carefully neutral.

"It's not that. That's background noise." I turned to him, my fists at my side, my chest heaving. "You have magic here! You have unicorns, and centaurs. You can alter reality with a wave of a stick! People like Umbridge, Fudge, and Voldemort, they're pulling that magic, that wonder from this world. They're dragging you down into the darkness that surrounds my world. I'm not going to let that happen. I'm not going to let this beautiful place drown in death and despair and hopelessness. You have magic. Keep that magic. Keep it shining bright."

Dumbledore stood, his hands spread wide. "Miss Hebert, Taylor, you need not become the monster of this story just to ensure that others have a happy ending."

"I can walk in the dark if it means that others can walk in the light. I'm okay with that, I've never really had a problem with that. If it means that the world as a whole has improved, I'm perfectly fine being the darker shade of gray."

"Taylor -"

"I've seen monsters, true monsters. Fudge isn't that bad, but Voldemort sounds pretty darn close, and I guarantee you that no tears will be shed over a child torturer like Umbridge. This place of wonder can't be destroyed because of monsters."

"There must be lines that can't be crossed, otherwise we become as bad as those we fight."

I nodded. "I agree with you, Dumbledore. You and I are on the same side, the only thing is, we both have very different lines in the sand."

I turned and walked back towards his office door. "I'll be available if you need assistance with moving against Fudge. In the meantime, if you find my methods so inherently distasteful, ensure that any future meetings with the Minister are away from Hogwarts."

I had reached the door when Dumbledore's soft voice called out one final time. "Taylor, promise me this: that no matter what, you will be able to live with yourself afterwards. And that the ones you care for will be able to forgive you your actions. That… That is the bit people like us always forget."

I stopped, my hand on the doorknob.

"I did say I had a foolish youth. I was in love with Gellert Grindelwald. You are very intelligent, I'm certain you can determine the rest."

"I can. I'll… keep that in mind, Dumbledore. Though if what I do protects the magic and wonder of this world then I doubt I will ever have a sleepless night."

The door closed behind me.

Walking down the stairs, my thoughts were far more chaotic than I had expected them to be.