"You're not getting rid of me that easily," Maura mumbled against Jane's chest.
Jane's hands froze on Maura's back, and Hope tiptoed out comedically carefully.
"I already lost you," Jane said sadly. "You already left."
"You said when I came home you'd be ready to talk relationship. I came home; you said as much last night."
"I'm not... I'm not putting this off because I'm nervous, but do you want a proper sleep before we talk about this? See where it lands, either way?" Jane brought her hand to Maura's where it rested on her chest, entwined their fingers.
"It's daytime for you," Maura said.
"So I'll read. C'mon," Jane helped Maura upright again, leading her back into Jane's room. "C'm'ere," Jane said, sitting down on the bed, reaching out towards Maura, and she nodded. Perhaps Jane was going to let her down gently, use their physical closeness as a reassurance that she did love Maura, even if it wasn't the way Maura wanted her to. Perhaps Jane was just as touch-starved as Maura was after three years without the person who knew when and where was perfect. Jane's hands grasped Maura as Maura lay down, pulled Maura in close. "It's ok, I promise," Jane said, and it was the first time Maura had heard her nervous. It comforted her more than the words - there was something to be nervous about.
Maura woke up later that afternoon, once again laying down across Jane's chest.
"Ma called. I told her you were here. She says we're going to dinner. Order, not request." Maura looked up at Jane, the gentle smile on Jane's face, the tender brush of Jane's hands against Maura's back, and she finally knew. She'd been writing their experience, and it wasn't until women who were attracted to women started writing reviews on her book that she'd realised what their relationship looked like if she discounted gender. Maura had always been the most important person in Jane's life, and Maura had never loved anyone so completely. The simple fact that Jane wasn't a man had left her blind to those facts for too long. From a new lens, given to her by the fans of her books, she could see finally how they fit together. And it was perfectly. Ying and Yang, Maura's convex to Jane's concave.
"If you ever leave," Jane said, looking away, her voice fierce. "If you ever leave, you have to know that you're taking my heart with you," Jane finished her sentence more gently, as though she'd needed the strength of fervour to get her through it. Jane's hands still wandered Maura's back, and Maura's hand grasped Jane's waist.
"I left my heart here," Maura said, sliding her hand up Jane's chest to a rapidly beating heart behind a strong ribcage, Jane's eyes widening as Maura's hand crept upwards. "With yours. I didn't know I missed it, because without you I had no use for it."
"You tricky little wordsmith," Jane teased, letting her fingers run through Maura's hair. "Why did you tell me the books weren't..."
"You always looked so defensive, when you called. Like you were upset at the very idea... And I was scared."
"I was scared too," Jane admitted. "I didn't want to face up to it. What we were. What we... what we are?" Jane asked, as though wanting Maura to clarify. Maura swallowed and sat up, leaving her hand on Jane's chest to ground herself.
"We were close," Maura said finally. "And we still are."
"Please, Maura, don't make me ask again. Don't make me be wrong again."
"You're not wrong," Maura said quietly. "I'm sorry for lying. It is about us. It is about..."
Jane picked up her tattered copy of the second book, let it fall open on its own to the page she treasured most.
"Is this how you see me? Is this how I make you feel?" Jane asked, her voice hushed too. Maura read the few sentences underlined in pen, nodding as she did. "I didn't know," Jane said. "I thought it was just me. And then, with these books, you make Lane out to be oblivious but I... I was scared. Scared I'd lose you, then I lost you anyway."
"You never lost me. I was right here," Maura said, pressing gently over Jane's heart again. "We talked every day."
"It wasn't the same. You know that." Jane exhaled, making room in her chest for her next statement. "When I read The Chapter, I felt like you'd seen through all my defenses. Even the way you wrote Lane, all wide-eyed and scared. Too scared to lose Laura, even though it was clear she wouldn't. But you wrote both of their perspectives, so how did you know?"
"I know you, Jane," Maura said sincerely, and it was an absolute truth. "It took some time to analyse all my findings and research on your behaviour, but I know you, and it's what you would have done, thinking you were being noble, denying yourself for the sake of the friendship. When part of what I wanted was..." Maura's hand moved over Jane's tank top, her breath ragged as her palm slid over Jane's soft breast tissue, swallowing as her fingers found Jane's nipple, already hardened to a point as though it had been merely waiting for her. Jane's breath stuttered, and she looked terrified and helpless, so much so that Maura withdrew her hand immediately, sitting upright and pulling away. "Did I hurt you?"
"Why do you feel so good," Jane rasped, eyes catching Maura in a dark, intense gaze, sitting up as well. Her eyes dropped to Maura's chest, then up to Maura's mouth, tight and concerned still. Jane forced herself to relax, to breathe, to calm down. She didn't want Maura to look worried; not now, not ever, but especially not now. She looked down to Maura's mouth, where a knowing smile had replaced her previous expression. "How do you feel so good," Jane breathed, leaning in, skimming past Maura's mouth and cheek to lay a soft kiss on Maura's neck. Maura grasped Jane firmly by the shoulders, pulled her closer with a gasp, pulling away finally only to catch Jane's mouth with her own, her open mouth catching Jane's as hers closed, Jane's fingers coming up to rest lightly on Maura's jaw.
"No teasing," Maura pleaded, lips brushing against Jane's. "I've had ten years of nothing else."
"Same," Jane breathed, pulling back enough that she could cup Maura's cheek. "But after ten years, I still want to take my time with you."
"I'm not going to be able to wait," Maura said, flushing. "I'm - uh..." Maura trailed off as Jane's lips caught at her throat, making their way up to her ear.
"You don't have to wait," Jane husked into the shell of Maura's ear, watching as Maura shivered. "As long as you don't need me to stop." Maura couldn't imagine ever asking Jane to stop, and Jane kissed her again - soft and thoughtful and gentle and everything every other kiss hadn't been. It almost felt like they'd done this before, even though Maura knew they hadn't - Maura had written about it, thought about it, imagined it so much that she was partially unsure if this was really happening or if it was just a fever dream from the recycled air of the airplane cabin. But then one of Jane's hand slid to her waist, and Maura couldn't imagine that, the fervent tugs of Jane's fingers trying to get under Maura's shirt, the impatient little whine from Jane's mouth vibrating against Maura's open lips, Jane's teeth on her lower lip, just enough to hurt a little, Jane's tongue soothing the ache as soon as it appeared. Jane's hand successfully breached Maura's shirt, sliding up and cupping Maura, pulling back, her eyes incredibly dark, jaw dropping open in wonder as Maura's eyes lidded, rolling back with a sharp intake of breath, her head tilting back. Jane took the opportunity to explore more of Maura's throat with her mouth, trying desperately not to tear the shirt straight off of Maura's body.
"Ten years," Jane said finally, shaking her head, surging forward to catch Maura's mouth again. "Welcome home."
Notes:
As stated elsewhere in my works, I am ace, this is rated appropriately to my comfort level (and this is more than I am truly comfortable with since I feel like I went in too hot on the first chapter and should have left it as a tumblr ramble).
There's a proper epilogue for this one. If you're disappointed you don't need to let me know.