I was able to shamble out of the hospital on my own power a day after I woke up and got to the Fire Daimyo's carriage. Glory to God in the highest, the Fast Travel function worked. I blinked and woke up back in the Fire Capital and the Inner Gates Withdrawal (VI) Curse was gone. When we got to the palace, I bowed to the Daimyo and said my goodbyes after he signed my mission scroll. I got into the woods, unwrapped myself out of all my bandages, and got back into my normal clothes. That done, I checked my 'Status'. I'd finished a rather lucrative Quest for beating Killer B.
Status
Name: Nara Kichirou
Title: The Gamer, Rising Star
Occupation: Apprentice (Sarutobi Hiruzen)
Class: Generalist, Fuinjutsu Specialist
Level: 76
EXP: 350/7600
HP: 7200/7200
SP: 4580/4580
CP: 11750400/11750400
Attributes:
STR: 465
DEX: 451
VIT: 720
INT: 471
WIS: 449
LUK: -77
Available Attribute points: 45
Available Perk points: 2
Available Blessing points: 0
The Well-Rounded Achievement was just too damn useful, and I was going to keep spreading all my Attribute points to keep Strength, Dexterity, Intelligence, and Wisdom fairly level. Vitality almost took care of itself with my Uzumaki Heritage Blessing. And Luck was stuck with my Crapshoot Curse. I allocated my points and picked 2 Perks.
Status
Name: Nara Kichirou
Title: The Gamer, Rising Star
Occupation: Apprentice (Sarutobi Hiruzen)
Class: Generalist, Fuinjutsu Specialist
Level: 76
EXP: 350/7600
HP: 7210/7210
SP: 4580/4580
CP: 11750400/11750400
Attributes:
STR: 470
DEX: 470
VIT: 721
INT: 480
WIS: 460
LUK: -77
Available Attribute points: 0
Available Perk points: 0
Available Blessing points: 0
[Perk: Healing Factor (III)
HP regen rate is passively doubled (stackable).]
[Perk Fast Recovery (III)
SP regen rate is passively doubled (stackable).]
[Achievement Unlocked!]
[Achievement: Well-Rounded (IX)
All Attributes (except LUK) are 450 or more. CP is passively doubled (stackable).]
[Achievement: More Powah! (XIII)
CP is 20480000 or higher. CP regen rate is passively doubled (stackable).]
[Achievement: Achievement Hunter (III)
Get 30 or more Achievements. +1 Blessing point.]
Given I'd just gotten my ass handed to me by a Jinchuuriki and only beat him by the skin of my teeth, suffice to say I wanted in on that shit. So my Blessing seemed obvious.
Status
Name: Nara Kichirou
Title: The Gamer, Rising Star
Occupation: Apprentice (Sarutobi Hiruzen)
Class: Generalist, Fuinjutsu Specialist
Level: 76
EXP: 350/7600
HP: 7210/7210
SP: 4580/4580
CP: 23500800/23500800
Attributes:
STR: 470
DEX: 470
VIT: 721
INT: 480
WIS: 460
LUK: -77
Available Attribute points: 0
Available Perk points: 0
Available Blessing points: 0
[Blessing: Born Jinchuuriki
You have a body perfectly adapted to be a Bijuu container. Reduce chances of death from sealing Bijuu inside you by 50%.]
I had vague plans involving getting someone on death row to put on the Shinigami Mask and commit seppuku and then another death row inmate being used as a sacrifice for Edo Tensei and then grabbing Kurama's Yin half out of Minato. Of course, I'd have to learn Edo Tensei in order to do that. I'd have to ask Hiruzen for permission to read the Forbidden Scroll of Seals.
Once everything was all taken care of, I used Fast Travel to get back to Konoha. I reported to Hiruzen in his Office, or at least a Kage Bunshin of him. I gave a full report, got my not-enough pay for my trouble and the EXP from doing a mission. I used the wrist seal to find Anko, and we talked about wedding plans for about an hour before she felt the need to celebrate the fact I'd survived and we made love from dusk to dawn.
The next day, I got to Training Ground 3 with a pep in my step. Hiruzen was there, and looked both solemn and proud. I blinked. "What's up, Hiruzen-sensei?"
"I received this last night. It's intended for you," he said before pulling out a handwritten letter with gorgeous calligraphy on each kanji, hiragana and katakana.
I read it incredulously. "Kizaru? Seriously? I'm getting invited to learn Sage Mode from the Monkey Elder!"
"Your fight with Killer B must have impressed him," Hiruzen grinned.
"This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity!" I beamed. "How could I refuse?!"
"Yes, but it involves a long absence from the village," Hiruzen pointed out.
"Two words, Hiruzen-sensei. Two little words," I reminded him.
"Kage Bunshin, how could I forget?" Hiruzen rolled his eyes. "So, I suppose it'll feel like you never left."
I made a single Kage Bunshun, which alone had over twice as much chakra as Hiruzen. Then, without further ado, I did the Reverse Summoning Jutsu to pull myself to Hometree.
Hometree was interesting. It was a single massive jungle tree, the various Monkeys living in hollows in the trunk and having built whole towns on the massive branches. I was recognized shortly after I arrived and it was a 10 minute trip just to get to Kizaru's hollow.
He was 5'0. 5'2 tops. And he walked with a cane. But I didn't need Observe to know that he could probably pwn my ass like I was Level 1 if he were motivated. And that was as a retiree. He must have truly been something in his prime. I sat at his kitchen table and he served me a cup of tea.
"So, Kichirou-chan," he said, using the honorific as if I were but a baby. And compared to him, I was. "You managed to subdue a Perfect Jinchuuriki. That's quite the accomplishment."
"He wasn't going all out, we were forbidden from lethal force. If he'd summoned the Hachibi from the start, I'd have been doomed," I clarified.
"Oh, of course, you're not nearly at the level where you can face a Bijuu in single combat yet," he shrugged as if it were obvious as the color of the sky. "But we can get you there. If you're willing to put in the work."
"If you know anything about me, you know that's never a problem in my case," I grinned.
"Ah, yes. My grandsons have made repeated references to your obsession with 'the grind' as you put it," Kizaru said, taking a sip of tea. "Tell me, are you ready to dedicate yourself to the pursuit of Senjutsu? Become my student and learn the most guarded secrets of the Monkey Summon Clan? Risk death itself in the name of progress?"
"When do we start?" I asked, my mind already made up.
"We just did," Kizaru grinned.
My Kage Bunshin back in Konoha continued to grind with the daily legion of clones and kept in contact with my loved ones. The real me on the other hand… if I'd set my training to 'Hard' up till now, Kizaru cranked it up to 'Nightmare'. It wasn't just the Senjutsu training, though that was the hardest thing I'd ever done. Do you have any idea how hard it is to be perfectly still? And only my original body could do it, since Kizaru needed to be there to knock the Natural Energy out of me whenever I took in too much and was in danger of becoming stone. He had to sleep, like most sapient beings, so my nights were focused on grinding my Attributes or having Kage Bunshin work on my Skills. But we also did physical conditioning that would make Gai beg for mercy and he taught me a whole new style of bojutsu that was devilishly tricky to get right.
It took me 4 months, but I refused to quit. Finally, the day came when I crossed a tipping point.
[New Skill Created!]
[Sage Mode (Active) Level: 1
Integrate Natural Energy into your Yin and Yang to transform your chakra into Sage Chakra. Increases all Attributes by 50% when active. Can perform Senjutsu-related Skills when active. Active cost of 10000 CP/sec.]
[Quest Complete! The Monkey Sage! Create Sage Mode Skill with training from Monkey Summon Clan! +30000 EXP, Monkey Sage Title, +1 Blessing point.]
[Level Up!]
[You have reached Level 80! Tertiary Title Unlocked, +5 Attribute Points each Level, +1 Blessing point.]
Status
Name: Nara Kichirou
Title: The Gamer, Rising Star
Occupation: Apprentice (Sarutobi Hiruzen)
Class: Generalist, Fuinjutsu Specialist
Level: 80
EXP: 500/8000
HP: 7650/7650
SP: 4815/4815
CP: 24627200/24627200
Attributes:
STR: 484
DEX: 479
VIT: 765
INT: 491
WIS: 470
LUK: -77
Available Attribute points: 60
Available Perk points: 2
Available Blessing points: 2
[Title: Monkey Sage
You are a Sage trained by the Monkey Summon Clan. Increase damage and decrease cost of all Skills when in combat with a Monkey Summon.
"Fucking finally!" I grinned, standing and appreciating the feel of Sage Mode.
"Oh, Kichirou-chan, we're just getting started. Now that you can finally get into Sage Mode, that means I can actually start teaching you Senjutsu and how to be a Sage worth the name," Kizaru chuckled like I was a little kid who'd done something endearingly foolish.
I fell into a blue cloud of depression. "You couldn't let me have it for 2 seconds?"
"I could have, but I didn't," he said, utterly savage.
I loved the old Monkey like a grandpa, but at that moment I could cheerfully have set him on fire.
I Summoned myself back to Konoha once Kizaru deemed my training complete, or at least I'd learned enough that I could pick up the rest on my own time. He gave me a copy of all the Senjutsu of the Monkey Summon Clan and wished me luck in life.
It was the dead of night. I went to my house in the Uchiha District. I let myself in and found my Kage Bunshin meditating in the backyard. He looked up at me and nodded. Then he dispelled and I processed the months and months of memories. Lesser men or those not as trained in Kage Bunshin would have had a seizure. I just got a mild headache.
I hadn't really been keeping track of the date, but I'd gotten home on a very important day. The Rookie 9's Graduation Exam was today.
I mused on all the progress I'd made up to this point. Over 13 years since I made that wish to God and woke up in this new world. And now I was a Perfect Sage before Naruto or Sasuke even became a proper Genin. My leveling and grinding had certainly paid off. Still, I feared it wouldn't be enough. That Orochimaru would escalate the Oto/Suna Invasion or Pein would attack early or Obito would panic and up the timetable and bring back the Juubi pre-timeskip.
It was times like these when I doubted withholding my meta knowledge from Hiruzen. But I'd made my choice, and I'd see it through to the end.
"Kichirou-kun?" Anko called, padding in wearing a bathrobe.
I looked at my fiance and felt a surge from the bottomless well of love I had for this woman. "Hey, Anko. Long time no see."
"Oh, you're the original. I thought you looked different," she grinned. She eyed me up and down. "Nice threads. And you grew again," she said admiringly.
I was convinced the influx of Natural Energy combined with my Yang Chakra Training hitting Level 50 all while I was still in the throes of puberty had combined to accelerate and enhance my growth beyond what should have been natural. I was now 6'4 and I predicted I'd get another inch or two before I stopped. Every inch of my frame was packed with dense, corded muscle that still maintained clean, lithe lines without making me a hulking swole beast like A. I was dressed in a fine silk kimono over a mesh undershirt, and my pants were white trousers made from chakra-infused hairs shed by the Monkey Summon Clan. I went barefoot now, a habit I'd picked up from the Monkeys. There was even a Senjutsu to permanently transform them and make them prehensile like the Monkeys naturally had, but I hadn't gotten around to mastering it yet.
"I missed you," I told her, going to her. I leaned in for a kiss. "So, we're locked in on a wedding date? Your birthday, really?" I chuckled.
"The ultimate present to myself, you gift wrapped and my slave for life once you're yoked to me in holy matrimony," she chuckled. "Plus, one less date to keep track of. And it'll give you an excuse to always go all out for my birthday since it'll also be our anniversary."
"Sure, sure, whatever you want, Anko-chan," I agreed easily. If she wanted to get married on the moon, I'd build her a spaceship. She was my lover. I don't just mean who I regularly did the dirty with. I had given her my heart, and she'd given hers back in equal exchange. How to describe the incredible feeling of being half of a whole? To live for another who lived for you in return? I was sure most couples at some point thought that surely they were the first to ever be this much in love. But I had the conceit of knowing Anko literally loved me as much as she was capable of from the Relationship meter. And I was sure mine for her was at least in the mid-90s if not a full 100 as well. I'd die for her, but that wasn't saying much. Death is easy. Life is harder. And I would dedicate my every waking moment to making and keeping Anko happy, content, and loved once we were husband and wife.
"We need to celebrate your homecoming," Anko said sultrily, opening her bathrobe and revealing her statuesque, goddess-like body.
"Speaking of that, I was wondering if you'd like to test out a little something," I grinned, even as I activated the seal I'd created myself and tattooed over my heart.
"What's that?" Anko asked with a grin of anticipation.
"Sage Sex," I said, as my Sage Seal released the stored Natural Energy into my system and automatically integrated it into my Yin and Yang to make Sage Chakra. My irises turned gold while red pigmentation appeared around my eyes.
Yes, I could go into Sage Mode without staying still. It wasn't too hard, actually. I'd been inspired by Orochimaru's Cursed Seal, actually. I made a simple enough energy storage seal that could hold a full 4 hours' worth of Natural Energy, longer than I could naturally maintain Sage Mode even with my high CP. I'd also managed to work in a matrix that would activate the Sage Mode Skill without me having to consciously balance the mix of Yin, Yang, and Natural Energy. The seal, once compressed, formed the kanji for 'Monkey'.
Anyway, I was curious to see how sex as a superhuman even by this world's standards would be like. I scooped Anko up in a princess carry and rushed to our bedroom, her giggling as I moved practically supersonic to the bed before I tore my way out of my clothes and slid home inside her.
In the morning, with Anko saying with crossed eyes she'd be taking the day off, I got redressed and used Shunshin to get to Training Ground 3.
Hiruzen noted my new shape and clothes compared to yesterday and realized I had returned from my training at Hometree. "Ah, welcome home, Kichirou-kun. I trust your training was productive?"
"We're still Party members, you can read my 'Status'. You tell me," I chuckled.
He focused and then shook his head. "I barely understand how an RPG works, and I know those numbers make no sense."
"Level and Attributes don't always go hand in hand. There's Perks, Blessings, Achievements and Curses to consider, but a Level 1 could grind a single Attribute all the way to 1000 before reaching Level 2 under the right circumstances," I explained. "So even though I still haven't even reached Level 90, I'm confident I could kick your Level 123 ass. Congrats on leveling twice while I was gone, by the way."
"What can I say? Having such an industrious apprentice inspired me to get off my ass and train for a change," he chuckled. "So, I presume you'll want to leave early to be there when your friends graduate?"
"You read my mind," I nodded. "Wonder how the teams will be this time around. Team 7 at least is bound to be different. If Naruto is the Dead Last, I'll eat my hair."
"Naruto? The Dead Last? How could that have ever happened in your first life?" Hiruzen blinked.
I sighed. "A world without Nara Kichirou in it, Hiruzen-sensei. Imagine it. He never learned about his Jinchuuriki status or who his parents were. He never had friends since all the adults told them to avoid him. He became depressed and started acting out, pulling pranks around the village. I'm convinced most of the sensei at the Academy sabotaged him too. In the alternate timeline, he only became Genin because Iruka took pity on him."
Hiruzen sighed. "I see. Thank you for that tip about psych evals for every Chunin-sensei, by the way. We never would have caught Mizuki otherwise."
"Just good policy in the first place. Want to keep an eye on those molding the next generation, make sure there's no abuse or nefarious intentions," I shrugged. "Anyway, it's all but guaranteed that all 9 of them will graduate. What were you thinking about team configurations?"
"Team 7 will depend on whether Naruto or Sasuke ends up Shinobi of the Year, they're neck-and-neck," Hiruzen chuckled. "The Kunoichi of the Year will undoubtedly be Hinata, and Shikamaru, I'm convinced, learned about the Team 7 tradition and has been deliberately low-balling his scores this year. He's just above the line for failing, and will definitely be the Dead Last."
"Hmm… if it's Sasuke, you've got the Sharingan and Byakugan on the same team with a Nara to run strategy. That's got serious potential. But Naruto is a natural leader and will inspire the other two to do better every day. Plus with the fact Hinata worships the ground he walks on and he's just as gaga for her… well, that could either be a distraction or they'd fight to the death to protect each other."
"I may have to flip a coin, no matter who ends up winning the top spot for the boys," Hiruzen nodded. "Since Shikamaru will be Dead Last, the Ino-Shika-Cho trio won't be realized. The other two teams, I was thinking, should be Chouji-Shino-Sakura and Kiba-Naruto/Sasuke-Ino."
"Both of those are good configurations. You've got a heavy hitter, a tracker, and a kunoichi who can run support if she doesn't get off her ass and become a second heavy hitter as well," I mused. "In the alternate timeline, Team 8 was Kiba-Shino-Hinata and the Ino-Shika-Cho trio were Team 10."
"Sakura beating Hinata? Well, if you weren't there to form the group of friends and help her with her confidence… I suppose I can see it," Hiruzen said. "Now, any thoughts on who the sensei for each team should be?"
"Kakashi has to go to whichever team Sasuke ends up on, he's the only other Sharingan user in the village who can show him the ropes once he activates it," I said immediately. I considered the rest of the available Jonin instead of going straight to Kurenai and Asuma as options. But they ended up making the most sense anyway. "Have Asuma assigned to Naruto. They're both Wind affinities, so Naruto can learn off of him best. And Asuma is chill enough that he'll get along with Shikamaru if Naruto ends up on Team 7 or manage to calm Kiba down if Naruto ends up with him and Ino. Sakura has perfect chakra control and a keen mind, so Kurenai could find an apprentice in her."
"Great minds think alike, that's what I was leaning towards myself," Hiruzen grinned.
"Or perhaps small minds rarely differ," I said self-deprecatingly.
"Calling my mind small is an insult of the highest caliber, Kichirou-kun," Hiruzen said with a playful frown.
"Whatcha going to do about it, old timer?" I grinned, getting into my stance.
"I'm going to shove Enma up your ass, is what I'm going to do," he grinned viciously as he bit his thumb and did the hand seals before summoning Enma.
"Oh, great. And I was having such a nice day," Enma sighed, but he obediently became the Adamantine Staff for Hiruzen.
I removed my own backup bo staff for when Enma wasn't available from my Inventory. It was carved from the wood of Hometree and reinforced with seals, and just a step or two down in quality from Enma himself.
The air became heavy as our chakra started to writhe under our skins and our very presence inflicted a toll on the world around us.
"How hard you want to go, from lovetaps only to lethal?" I asked.
"We can send each other to the hospital, but no maiming," Hiruzen decided.
"I can work with that," I shrugged.
And then we clashed.
3 hours 27 minutes later, Hiruzen wheezed "Fuck," and collapsed to his knees, utterly spent. His CP was in the single digits and his HP was below 25%. "Fine, you win."
[Quest Complete! School the Professor! Defeat Sarutobi Hiruzen! +2 Levels, +10 Levels Ninjutsu Mastery, +10 Levels Bojutsu Mastery.]
[Level Up!]
Status
Name: Nara Kichirou
Title: The Gamer, Rising Star, Monkey Sage
Occupation: Apprentice (Sarutobi Hiruzen)
Class: Generalist, Fuinjutsu Specialist
Level: 87
EXP: 6300/8700
HP: 8250/8250
SP: 5175/5175
CP: 53068800/53068800
Attributes:
STR: 524
DEX: 515
VIT: 825
INT: 536
WIS: 502
LUK: -77
Available Attribute points: 40
Available Perk points: 1
Available Blessing points: 0
I tilted my head. "I didn't even use Sage Mode. The Geriatric Curse was removed. Did I honestly just beat you when you were as strong as you were during the Third Shinobi War?"
"It would seem the apprentice has surpassed the master," Hiruzen chuckled weakly. "Now, if you'd be so kind, get me to a Medic-nin. I have half a mind to have you track down and drag Tsunade back to the village."
"Just say the word and I'll have my spies track her down and I can kick her ass and carry her back here," I said. "Or you could, you know, threaten to actually make her a Missing-nin if she doesn't answer the call of duty and she'll be shit outta luck. More so than usual, at any rate."
"Something to consider," Hiruzen said, sounding woozy.
I got a firm grip on him and used Shunshin to take us straight to Kurosaki Isshin's office. I dodged the kick to my head on reflex and he soon realized he had a patient. I left Hiruzen in the eccentric doctor's capable hands.
With my sensei laid up after our spar, I had the day free, I guessed. I walked at a civilian pace to the Ninja Academy and took a seat on Swing-kun. I waited patiently for my CP regen rate to get me back to full, then made a single Kage Bunshin. He Shunshined off to do Tajuu Kage Bunshin and get back to the grind. Me personally, I unsealed my biwa and played to pass the time, losing myself in the music.
I came out of my little trance when I noticed parents starting to gather in the courtyard. I stored my instrument back in my Inventory and went to mingle.
"Kichirou-san. Based on your much higher chakra than yesterday and altered appearance, I presume you are the original back from your training with the Monkey Summon Clan," Hiashi greeted. He and the parents of the other clan kids in the Rookie 9 were gathered in a big cluster. I considered it true progress that Hiashi himself was present to welcome and congratulate Hinata after she graduated instead of sending a servant to fetch her.
I grinned behind my face mask. "Yep, back from Hometree. Learned a lot, had some fun, made some friends, only came close to dying a few dozen times. It was a nice trip."
"Troublesome… hard to believe you're only 13. I shudder to think how strong you'll be once you're our age," Shikaku sighed. We'd grown a bit more distant after I'd moved out of his house, but he would always be the man who raised me.
"Tall sonofabitch, you're already taller than Jiraiya!" Chouza commented.
"And based on how some of those single moms are squirming and looking at you, Anko is going to be defending your honor quite often once you two get married," Inoichi said teasingly.
"Unless it's her idea for the threesome, then that's okay," I fired back.
"I am tempted to laugh. Why? Because that was humorous," Aburame Shibi said in his usual monotone.
"What's this about threesomes, honey?" Anko asked, coming up behind me. I'd seen her coming on my minimap, but I let her sneak up on me.
"Just a joke with Inoichi. Since I'm apparently hot as lava, he implied you'd be fending off my admirers with a stick. I countered that you could just invite them into our marriage bed for a night of fun," I replied easily.
"The idea has merit," she chuckled. "Though no Sage Sex for the poor little civilians and Genin. I'm on the verge of finally getting promoted to Jonin and I'm still barely ambulatory after last night."
"Please do not discuss the details of your sex life where others can hear," Hiashi frowned.
"Speak for yourself," Inuzuka Tsume barked a laugh. "What's Sage Sex?"
"Sex while I'm in Sage Mode," I supplied.
"You use one of the most obscene power-ups in the world just to spice up couple time? No wonder you and Anko get along so well," Tsume chuckled. "Any chance I can get a free sample of that shit?"
"Depends. Is the alpha female of the Inuzuka hounds ready to become the bitch of a Nara stag?" I asked, wiggling my eyebrows.
"You're flirting with one of your friends' mothers within earshot of your fiance. This is what the world is coming to," Shikaku groaned "So troublesome."
Kuromaru at Tsume's side sniffed. "The children are about to come out," he alerted us.
The doors opened and the graduating class came out. The Rookie 9 all approached us, forehead protectors worn proudly somewhere on all of them. "Kichirou! That the real you?" Naruto called with a wave as he ran up to us. Why walk when you can run, that was Naruto's policy.
"Yep, got back last night. How've you been? I know what you and my Kage Bunshin got up to, but I'd like to hear it from you," I grinned.
"Oh, things have been awesome! I was in 2nd place in the class rankings at the Mid-Year Exams, can you believe it? Sasuke and I have a bet on who's going to be Shinobi of the Year after today. I finally managed to get the damn Bunshin down after hours and hours of water walking and Hokage-jiji taught me that amazing Kage Bunshin Jutsu you use! I've been learning so much since I started 'grinding' like you do!" Naruto said in a tumbling rush.
"Oho, a fellow grinder? Now maybe it'll only take you 10 years to catch up with where I am now instead of 50 like I thought," I said, grabbing him in a noogie.
"As if! I'm going to get stronger than you in a year! You hear me?" Naruto grumbled as he struggled in my grip.
"Well, you do seem confident, and confidence is key," I said loftily. "But I'm not going to slow down just for you to catch up, Naruto. You want to actually beat me in a fight someday, you'll have to train like you've never trained before."
"The Hokage is the strongest ninja in the village, and I'm going to be Hokage! I'm going to kick your ass someday, Kichirou!" Naruto declared.
"The Hokage is the most important ninja in the village. That's not the same thing. You want to deal with the headache of running the village, that's your thing. I'll just keep grinding until every other Hidden Village is too afraid to declare war on us because I could handle them single-handedly," I said, meaning every word. I wasn't going to go full on dictator like canon-Sasuke almost decided to do. But I could become a deterrent that made Jinchuuriki look like fresh Genin. I was already a one-man army. I was aiming to become an army killer.
"Eh hem. You know, we graduated too. We also missed you while you were gone," Sasuke spoke up with a pout he'd deny was any such thing. But it was still a pout. He'd never become the ice king from canon. My, Naruto's, and the other's influence kept him… not innocent, but certainly free from emoness.
"Yes, yes, congratulations on passing the Graduation Exam when you've all been training for the Chunin Exams for 2 years. Would you also like a congratulations for using the toilet properly?" I said sarcastically. Then I pulled a scowling Sasuke into a hug. "Seriously, congrats, Sasuke. You'll be twice the ninja Itachi ever was."
It was a testament to his therapy and our support that he didn't even flinch at his brother's name. "Naruto's going to become Hokage. I'm going to become the next God of Shinobi. And you'll be the Sage reincarnate. That's the plan and we're sticking to it," he said into my chest.
"Works for me," I said, giving him a squeeze. I went the rounds for the rest of my friends in the Rookie 9. I remembered from the data dump from my Kage Bunshin that everyone had a reservation at an Akimichi restaurant banquet hall for tonight. We all agreed to go home to change and relax before showing up 15 minutes before the reservation.
Anko and I passed the time with our favorite recreational activity. We showed up a mere 5 minutes late, and we all as a group entered the restaurant and were led to the party room. A veritable feast was laid on the table, and two waiters were assigned just to us to get drinks.
"Say, they graduated, they're Genin now. Shots for everyone!" Anko cheered after 10 minutes of good food and conversation.
"Top-shelf vodka, my treat. I can't wait to see the looks on all your faces," I added as the kids got all excited for their first taste of alcohol. The other parents seemed torn between similar glee and disapproval, but old enough to kill, etc.
The waiters got the 17 shots and passed them out. I lifted my glass. "To the Rookie 9, sure to be the most legendary generation of Konoha-nin in history!"
"Kanpai!" everyone cheered and then did the shots. And then we adults laughed our asses off at how the kids gagged and spat and made funny faces.
"Um, Kichirou-san?" Sakura asked after a few minutes. She'd mellowed out from an obsessive fangirl who would sniff Sasuke's trash given the chance, but she hadn't really grown fully into herself yet. I also knew she trained the least out of everyone in the group, she just lacked motivation.
"Yes, Sakura?" I answered.
"Why are you still a Genin? You've been Hokage-sama's apprentice for 4 years, you must have been qualified to take the Chunin Exams by now," she asked.
"I just didn't feel like it. I'm fine with simple D-rank and C-rank missions to pad my bank account while I spend most of my time focusing on training. I'm thinking I'll get it out of the way and enter the next ones though. Konoha is hosting them this go around. Should be interesting," I said, my mood darkening as I thought about the clusterfuck that was the Chunin Exam arc. I could beat Hiruzen with the handicap of nonlethal force, but could I kill Orochimaru in a no-holds-barred slugfest?
"I am concerned, Kichirou-san. Why? Because you seem troubled," Shino spoke up, looking at me from behind his shades.
"Just this foreboding feeling about the Chunin Exams. But it's probably nothing, I'm just superstitious," I reassured the Aburame heir.
Shino didn't seem convinced, but he let it drop. And then we all just got back to the party, celebrating the Rookie 9's graduation.
I took Anko home and sent a couple of Kage Bunshin with her to tire her out while I got back to the grind. I sent my usual team to the Nara Clan Library, which I was still permitted full access to despite the fact I didn't live in the Nara Clan Compound anymore. Within 10 minutes, I got a notification.
[Quest Complete! Well-Read Nara (X)! Read 100% of the Nara Clan Library! +10000 EXP, +50 INT and WIS, Knowledge Absorption Blessing.]
[Achievement Unlocked!]
[Achievement: Sum of All Knowledge
Finish Well-Read Nara Quest chain. +2 Levels, +1 Blessing, Living Encyclopedia Class.]
[Level Up!]
[You have reached Level 90! +1 Party Slot, +1 Blessing point.]
Status
Name: Nara Kichirou
Title: The Gamer, Rising Star, Monkey Sage
Occupation: Apprentice (Sarutobi Hiruzen)
Class: Generalist, Fuinjutsu Specialist
Level: 90
EXP: 7600/9000
HP: 8660/8660
SP: 5235/5235
CP: 56576000/56576000
Attributes:
STR: 530
DEX: 525
VIT: 866
INT: 590
WIS: 567
LUK: -77
Available Attribute points: 60
Available Perk points: 2
Available Blessing points: 2
[Blessing: Knowledge Absorption
You can read books and scrolls just by touching them. The knowledge simply appears in your brain.]
[Class: Living Encyclopedia
You have information vegetable, animal, and mineral. Increase INT and WIS by 25% in combat, all white-collar activities are 50% faster.]
I absolutely loved these domino chains of notifications, where one Quest or Achievement led to a cascade of others. And I had another Party Slot. Hiruzen had been a nice test subject, but I knew which two would benefit from the powers of the Gamer the most. I'd bring it up with Hiruzen tomorrow.
I allocated my points and enjoyed another cascade.
[Achievement Unlocked!]
[Achievement: Well-Rounded (XI)
All Attributes (except LUK) are 550 or over. CP is passively doubled (stackable).]
[Achievement: More Powah! (XIV)
CP is 81320000 or higher. CP regen rate is passively doubled (stackable).]
Status
Name: Nara Kichirou
Title: The Gamer, Rising Star, Monkey Sage
Occupation: Apprentice (Sarutobi Hiruzen)
Class: Generalist, Fuinjutsu Specialist
Level: 90
EXP: 7600/9000
HP: 8810/8810
SP: 5500/5500
CP: 115558400/115558400
Attributes:
STR: 550
DEX: 550
VIT: 881
INT: 590
WIS: 567
LUK: -77
Available Attribute points: 0
Available Perk points: 0
Available Blessing points: 0
[Perk: Entrust
Can transfer chakra to another person if Relationship is above 50.]
[Perk: Overdrive
Can multiply the chakra cost of any Max Level Active Skill for an equal multiplier of all effects.]
[Blessing: Look Both Ways
Can use Nature Chakra-based and Shape Chakra-based Skills simultaneously without assistance of a Kage Bunshin.]
[Blessing: One With Nature
Increase gathering speed of Natural Energy by 50% and reduce cost of Sage Mode by 25%.]
Hello, thrown one-handed Nature Chakra-infused Rasengans in Sage Mode. Overdrive would come in handy for powering up relatively weak attacks into absolute monsters. Entrust would let me top off my allies while in battle. Combined with my Medical Ninjutsu repertoire, I was surprised I hadn't gotten a Healer Class or something.
[New Class Acquired!]
[Class: Battle Medic
You can fight and heal at the same time. Increase healing factor of Medical Ninjutsu-based Skills by 20% in combat. All Attributes increased by 10% in combat.]
Huh, speak of the devil.
Anyway, with the Nara Clan Library well and truly tapped out, I dispelled a Kage Bunshin to let them all know to reassign themselves. And I made a mental note to have my spy Kage Bunshin visit every local library and just run their hands over the spines and covers of all those books. My Mindscape was going to be getting even bigger as I crammed more and more memories and knowledge into the museum.
And then it was back to the grind.
The Academy graduates got a week off before the team assignments. Naruto went in to get his Ninja ID photo taken, this time without the face paint. He ended up having a chat with Hiruzen's Kage Bunshin stuck in the office that day and meeting Konohamaru. So that particular relationship was maintained. Though Naruto ended up teaching Konohamaru how to make an Explosion Tag instead of the Sexy Jutsu. I foresaw a butterfly effect where Konohamaru became Konoha's version of Deidara as he took his first real Jutsu and just ran with it. I decided to get the kid a book on making fireworks for his next birthday given he seemed fated to get into explosives.
Hiruzen agreed to my decision on bumping him from the Party and adding Naruto and Sasuke. He complained he'd have withdrawals from no longer leveling so easily and having to eat and sleep by necessity again, but he agreed that it would be better suited for the two young prodigies.
The day of the team assignments, I grabbed Naruto and Sasuke on their way into the school. "Okay, I know you gotta be in class in 15 minutes so I'll make this quick. You know my Bloodline Limit, how I can interact with the world as if it were a video game?" I asked them both.
"Yeah, you've told us about it tons of times," Naruto nodded.
"Makes zero logical sense, but it clearly serves you well," Sasuke shrugged.
"Well, the Gamer has a Party system. I can extend my Bloodline Limit to up to 2 other people. With your consent, I'd like you 2 to be them. You both will get all the benefits of the Gamer even though we don't share blood."
"REALLY?" Naruto beamed.
"We accept, of course," Sasuke said with his own smile.
"Invite Uzumaki Naruto and Uchiha Sasuke to Party," I said formally.
They blinked as the screens appeared before them, and within a second of each other both their 'Status' Screens appeared in front of me.
[Uzumaki Naruto and Uchiha Sasuke have joined Party!]
Name: Uzumaki Naruto
Title: Kyuubi Jinchuuriki (Yang)
Occupation: Konohagakure Genin
Class: Warrior
Level: 33
EXP: 1500/3300
Relationship: 72/100
HP: 6610/6610
SP: 2630/2630
CP: 15220000/15220000
Attributes:
STR: 276
DEX: 250
VIT: 661
INT: 111
WIS: 124
LUK: ?
In what world did it make sense that Naruto still had more chakra than me? He really was just a bottomless well of the stuff and would only get bigger going forward.
Name: Uchiha Sasuke
Title: The Last Uchiha
Occupation: Konohagakure Genin
Class: Rogue
Level: 37
EXP: 350/3700
Relationship: 65/100
HP: 1450/1450
SP: 2685/2685
CP: 10620/10620
Attributes:
STR: 210
DEX: 327
VIT: 145
INT: 246
WIS: 279
LUK: 69
And Sasuke's CP was a stark reminder that a million CP was actually pretty rare, let alone the ridiculous amounts sported by Jinchuuriki and monsters like myself and Hiruzen.
"Whoa, I can see everything about myself. There's even an Eating Skill, what's up with that?!" Naruto gaped.
"This is how you see the world, Kichirou?" Sasuke asked, eyes racing as he scanned screen after screen.
"And now, it's how you two will see the world. Food is now for flavor and restorative effects, not necessity. Sleep is if you're truly bored. You both can train at all hours and so long as your HP, SP, or CP don't hit 0 there won't be any ill effects," I told them. I took out two identical scrolls. "I wrote these last night. Call them strategy guides. They're full of how the system works and how best to use it for grinding. I expect big things from both of you now that you have this little hack for your development."
"Whoa! Your 'Status', Kichirou… how'd you get those numbers so high?!" Naruto gaped.
"Training. Training to the exception of eating, sleeping, and almost everything else. My Kage Bunshin that spend time with you both and the others amount to less than 1% of my daily time. Everything else is dedicated to the grind," I explained.
"Why are you so obsessed with getting power, Kichirou?" Sasuke asked, his eyes guarded. I was reminded that Itachi had lied and told him he killed the Uchiha Clan to 'test his ability'.
"It's a Game, Sasuke. That means there's a Final Boss. I'm getting ready to face him, her, it, or them," I said solemnly."
"Well, you won't be fighting them alone! We'll get super strong super fast with the help of your Bloodline Limit, and that Final Boss is going to go home crying to its momma!" Naruto said with a fist pump.
"Hopefully," I nodded. "Now get inside, Iruka will be arriving soon."
I watched them enter the building, then I went to find Gai. He'd had less time to train me since he got his Genin team last year, but he'd let me join his and Lee's manic challenges if I asked. I had gotten a huge boost to Intelligence and Wisdom with the Well-Read Nara (X) Quest, I needed to grind my Strength and Dexterity.
The next day, I sent Kage Bunshin to invite everyone in the group to my house. They'd all had and passed their second Graduation Exam issued by their Jonin-sensei today. Everyone showed up around 6:00. My Kage Bunshin served as butlers and cooks anddinner was made in the background while we all sat in my living room. Anko was in my lap as I listened to my friends describe their team tests.
"It was so troublesome," Shikamaru groaned. "Kakashi-sensei said we had to get these 2 bells tied to his belt and whoever didn't get one would be sent back to the Academy. But as soon as Sasuke, Hinata, and I started planning how to team up against him, he declared the real test was to see if we would put our teammates first and work together or some shit. So we passed without having to do a damn thing."
"Asuma-sensei was pretty chill," Naruto commented from where he was sitting in between Kiba and Ino. "He had each of us play him at Shogi, we each had to do an arm wrestling test, and then he used Killing Intent on us for 10 seconds. Then he just lit a cigarette, said 'you'll do' and then took us out to BBQ."
"He was testing our minds, bodies, and spirits," Ino commented, petting a dozing Akamaru who had abandoned Kiba for the pretty girl's lap and soft hands.
"Kurenai-sensei had us play tag. She used mild Genjutsu to trick each of us and moved at high-Genin speeds to avoid us. We had to coordinate in order to corner her," Shino reported next to Chouji eating chips and Sakura reading some teen girl's magazine.
"Says something about each of their individual teaching styles, I'm sure," Anko shrugged. "Orochimaru came at me and my teammates with intent to kill and said we passed after we lasted a full 30 seconds."
"Hmm, wonder what test I'll use on my Genin teams once I'm a Jonin-sensei," I mused, thinking of the future, hopefully post-Kaguya. "Anyway, glad you all passed. Now you can start team training and do D-ranks on top of what you all do on your own time."
"Who trains when a sensei doesn't tell you to?" Sakura rolled her eyes.
"Did you seriously just say that to Kichirou-kun of all people?" Hinata asked incredulously.
"Yeah, but Kichirou is a freak. A very nice, polite, handsome freak, but still a freak. I don't think he could relax and take a day off if he wanted to," Sakura shrugged. "He'll have Kage Bunshin training in the background during the wedding with Anko-san, I'm positive."
"I'm… really that bad, aren't I?" I chuckled to myself.
"I wouldn't have you any other way," Anko assured me, smooching my cheek.
"Dinner bell! This is Tara's recipe. Not sure I did it right, but enjoy," my cook Kage Bunshin called from the kitchen.
Chouji had a bite of the fried rice and looked like he had a tiny orgasm. "Oh, wow. Kichirou, I will pay you to summon Tara and have her cook for my birthday."
"Free of charge, she likes getting a little time away from Hometree now and then," I assured him.
After that, the days started to fly by. I still maintained my original body's rest day on Sundays, but every other day and night was spent bettering myself in some way. It was a month later and I was training in the backyard in the late evening. Team 7 had left on the Wave Mission 2 days ago. I had a Kage Bunshin shadowing them just in case, but I was confident in Sasuke, Hinata, and Shikamaru's ability to handle Haku while Kakashi took on Zabuza. Still, safety net of my Kage Bunshin.
Anko came out and sat on the back porch. "Hey, Kichirou. We need to update the guest list. I just found out there's going to be a suprise plus one."
"Damn, and we just finalized the seating chart last week," I grumbled even as I did jumping one-legged squats
"Oh, don't worry, they won't need a seat," she told me.
I blinked. "Well, where will they be during the reception, then?"
"Under my dress, in my belly," she said.
It took me a few seconds to connect the dots. It happened while I was mid-air and I ended up sprawling on my ass on the ground. I looked at her, a ringing in my ears. "You… you're pregnant?"
"According to the 3 sticks I just peed on, yeah," she said with a nervous chuckle.
"But you're on the Contraceptive Seal," I said numbly.
"I did the period and ovulation math, guess Sage Sex-powered sperm are immune to the normal spermicidal effects," she said. "How do you feel about this? I know we never really discussed children…"
I'd been in shock for a few seconds. But then the puzzle piece clicked in my head and I realized the truth. Anko was pregnant. My woman was growing my child. A little angel with our shared blood in his or her veins was going to show up in about 8 or 9 months.
"I'M GOING TO BE A DADDY!" I roared to the sky. I was sure I could be heard from outside the village walls. Then I rushed at Anko, pulled her into a kiss with all my heart and soul behind it, and practically teleported us to the bedroom to try for twins. I know it didn't work that way, but I'd do my best.