I may have gone a bit overboard with hovering over a pregnant Anko for the first week before she put her foot down. Probably when I had my Kage Bunshin follow her to the bathroom to catch her if she tripped was the straw that broke the camel's back. She sat me down, explained she knew she was pregnant and had to take it easier than she was used to or preferred. But she wasn't going to let me wrap her in bubble wrap and tuck her in the bedroom to speed the next 8 months perfectly safe but bored out of her mind.
I acknowledged she had a point, but insisted on no more trips to the Forest of Death. And she wasn't to do a mission out of the village without me to personally accompany her. She agreed just to appease me, telling me she'd gotten a promotion at T&I and would be spending more time in the village anyway.
I wanted her to have the best medical care possible, of course, her and our little angel. So I did something that others might consider drastic or extreme. I sent out Kage Bunshin to collect every Bounty for every Missing-nin B-rank and under that I knew the locations of through my spy network. I ended up with over half a billion ryo and the Bingo Book would be much thinner with the next update. I then used my new funds to go around to all of Tsunade's loan shark buddies. I purchased all her debt and then found her in a casino town in the Land of Hot Springs.
I showed her the paperwork showing I owned all her debt and informed her she could pay me off by serving at my fiance's obstetrician. Then she could fuck back off to run around the continent getting drunk and blowing money all she wanted. But for the next 9 months, I owned her. She growled and threw a tantrum, but she agreed to come back to Konoha with me. Shizune and Tonton came along for the ride, of course.
Technically, I had gone AWOL in leaving the village to fetch Tsunade, but I couldn't trust the task to a Kage Bunshin in case she fought back and I needed to be there in person to subdue her. Hiruzen didn't punish me for my unsanctioned tourist trip, though, since I'd succeeded in bringing Tsunade back to the village. Sure, she was privately contracted and had plans to leave as soon as the baby was born, but 8 months was a long time. Hiruzen could talk her around, Shizune could wheedle her into staying in their home, or Naruto could use the Talk Jutsu on her.
Other than that little errand, I stayed on my grind. Less than 2 months until the Chunin Exams, after all. Hiruzen was teaching me about 10 new Jutsu a day, and at the rate I had my Kage Bunshin working on them I averaged Max Level in each one within 2 weeks of learning it. I was working on Senjutsu and recreating famous Jutsu I'd seen others use in the anime for my own purposes. I kept meeting with Tenzo for Wood Ninjutsu training, though he commented I was quickly reaching his own level and would likely fly past him in a few months.
My Intelligence and Wisdom kept skyrocketing from all the reading, research, and intellectual pursuits I was doing through my Kage Bunshin. I had even started researching computers, as they existed in this world, and had convinced Hiruzen to let me run the project of modernizing Konoha for the Information Age. I had an idle fantasy of making a sapient AI at some point after Kaguya was handled and sending the Narutoverse through the Singularity.
My Strength and Dexterity were just a question of upping my Gravity Seal, which had replaced the weights Gai favored long ago. Same concept as used in DBZ, I literally went through the world as if gravity was higher for me than other people. It only affected my muscles, I didn't actually increase in mass or weight. I was currently at 7.8x Earth's gravity and felt as restricted as your average civilian by the physical demand of moving at normal speeds. I was once again glad I hadn't picked DBZ for the world to be reborn in. Beerus' Level in the Game system would probably give me a heart attack.
I was working on a series of seals that would hypothetically let me create sub-elements without the need for a Blessing or manually learning to mix the two elemental chakra natures. I'd checked, the Fuinjutsu Mastery requirement was Level 75. I was at Level 73 for that Skill at the moment. While once I reached that req I'd be able to make the seals just by thinking about it, trying to make them the old-fashioned way was a way of grinding my Mastery. So I'd end up with them either way.
Anyway, the seals would take the form of tattoos for the kanji of 'Lightning', 'Earth', 'Water', 'Fire', and 'Wind' on my back. I'd push chakra through two (or hypothetically more) of the seals and it would automatically be converted to that nature. That was relatively easy, and a bit redundant since I could make Nature chakra for all 5 elements all on my own. But it would be nice to automate the process. The real kicker to the seal was the integration matrix that would perfectly balance each nature and fuse them into a hybrid sub-element. I had hopes that once I perfected it and applied it, I could even make Truth-Seeking Balls by running chakra through all 5 seals simultaneously.
I had an image of hitting a smirking Orochimaru with a Truth-Seeking Rasenshuriken and obliterating him in one hit. Unlikely to work, he was harder to kill than a cockroach from what I remembered, but good for a giggle when I felt stressed and overworked.
I was in the backyard of my house doing the research myself. To be fair, I was also doing Yin-Yang Chakra Training simultaneously, but I was taking a break from physical training for the day. Even I could take it easy now and then. And no, this was not in response to Sakura's words the day of the Jonin tests. Really, it wasn't.
A certain labeled dot appeared on my minimap. Huh, Sasuke was back, guess the Wave Mission was over and he'd come home. I noted from the corner of my eye that he went straight to my house instead of his own. I let him get as far as the open door to my backyard before I acknowledged him. "What is it, Sasuke?"
"I got back from the Wave Mission. That's a whole other talk. But Hokage-sama kept me back after the mission report. He… told me something," Sasuke said, sounding badly shaken.
I looked up. Well, I'd made Hiruzen promise to tell Sasuke when he'd become a Genin. "Don't tell me. He told you why Itachi really killed your family."
"You knew?! This whole time?!" Sasuke demanded, eyes flashing red. Literally. His Sharingan activated. Only one tomoe in one eye and two in the other, but he'd still activated it.
"I don't have hard confirmation on the real reason. I just know Hokage-sama either allowed Itachi to go through with it or it was his idea in the first place. I have a really good guess as to why, but I haven't been read into the actual secret. Congrats on the eyes, by the way," I said calmly.
Sasuke took a shuddering breath and deactivated his Doujutsu. He went over to where I was sitting on the manicured lawn and sat down on the grass. "My father convinced most of the clan to go through with a coup. He felt insulted by the village over the 'banishment' to the Uchiha District and got it into his head that the Uchiha were superior and should be the unquestioned rulers of Konoha. Itachi-nii chose the village over our family and alerted Hokage-sama. They tried for months to find a peaceful solution, but nothing worked. My father's mind was made up. Hokage-sama says he wasn't the one to give the order, but he didn't try to stop Itachi from going through with the Massacre either."
"I see," I nodded. "Well, if that ain't a shit sandwich I don't know what is. Itachi had to pick between his blood and his duty to the village. In his place, I'm not sure I wouldn't have just gone through with the coup to avoid having to kill everyone I loved like he did."
"He didn't kill me," Sasuke said dully. "I thought that was the cruelest thing he ever did, letting me live after taking everyone away. Turns out he loved me the most out of all the clan and chose to spare me from the Massacre. Only… why the hell would he lie to me like he did? Say it was just a test, try to get me obsessed with revenge?"
"Sasuke, you're the Last Uchiha. Itachi knew what he was doing in sparing you. He and Kakashi are S-class and can defend themselves. But you're a rookie Genin. Any power-hungry wackadoo on the planet who wants the Sharingan just has to track you down and cut out your eyes. Itachi did what he did to try and get you motivated to get strong enough to protect your eyes and your life as fast as you could," I explained.
Sasuke gulped. "Oh… hadn't thought of that," he admitted.
"I think he went about it all wrong, but Itachi was trying to protect you. If you focused your life on surpassing him in the name of avenging the Uchiha, you'd get stronger than him and thus be able to take care of yourself," I said softly. "There's some real monsters out there, Sasuke. People not only stronger than me, hard as that may be to believe, but truly evil on top of that. Either insane, misguided, or just don't give a fuck about anyone but themselves and their wants." Pein thought he was saving the world. Obito wanted to live in a fantasy world with Rin. Madara believed he had the right to rule the world through his bloodline and power level. Kaguya was just a narcissist with the power to force everyone to go along with her insanity. "Itachi knew that. He did what he thought was best for you, which for some reason was mind raping you and trying to brainwash you into getting revenge."
"I get it. I do. I'm still working on forgiving him, but I can understand why he did it," Sasuke sighed. "And that's only because I have you and Naruto and all the others. Without you… I'd be in a really dark place, Kichirou."
He had no idea. "Well, important thing is you do have us. And we'll support you every step of the way as you become the God of Shinobi and make Itachi look like nothing special," I grinned, clapping his shoulder.
Sasuke grinned at me. "Thanks, Kichirou-nii."
"No problem, otouto," I replied.
And, because it was a nice moment, it got ruined with a notification.
[Achievement Unlocked!]
[Achievement: Maxed Out (IV)
200 Active or Passive Skills are Max Level! +40000 EXP, +2 Blessing points.]
[Achievement: More Powah (XV)
CP is 162640000 or more. CP regen rate is passively doubled (stackable).]
[Level Up!]
Status
Name: Nara Kichirou
Title: The Gamer, Rising Star, Monkey Sage
Occupation: Apprentice (Sarutobi Hiruzen)
Class: Battle Medic, Fuinjutsu Specialist
Level: 95
EXP: 3100/9500
HP: 9440/9440
SP: 5790/5790
CP: 122265600/122265600
Attributes:
STR: 583
DEX: 575
VIT: 944
INT: 621
WIS: 609
LUK: -77
Available Attribute points: 80
Available Perk points: 2
Available Blessing points: 2
"Notification?" Sasuke asked knowingly as my eyes went out of focus reading the screens.
"Yeah. But you're more important," I said. "So, feel like some tomato juice and telling me all about the Wave Mission? Must have been big if you unlocked your Sharingan."
"Make it a Bloody Mary, it really was a tough mission," Sasuke chuckled.
I listened to Sasuke recount the tale of the Demon Brothers' ambush, Tazuna's plea for help, getting attacked by Momochi Zabuza who Kakashi almost killed but was saved at the last minute by a fake Kiri Hunter-nin. Then there was the final battle on Tazuna's bridge, which is when things diverged from canon. Sasuke, Hinata, and Shikamaru had managed to subdue Haku and held him hostage against Zabuza. While the Missing-nin was debating it, Gato showed up and insulted Zabuza for not managing to take out 'a couple baby ninja' and revealed he had no intention of paying the man and was going to have him killed. Which resulted in Zabuza and Haku teaming up with Team 7 to utterly slaughter Gato's army of goons. The corrupt tycoon himself was turned over to the people of Wave to do with as they pleased. Sasuke let me use my imagination for what the villagers did to their tormentor.
Zabuza and Haku had taken off, Naruto not around to use Talk Jutsu and somehow convince both to join Konoha and all. Team 7 had recovered from both battles and then returned after Inari, Tazuna's grandson, named the construction the Great Team 7 Bridge.
"What is it with a Genin's first C-rank?" I chuckled. "That sounds like an A-rank mission, easy. You're lucky you came back in one piece."
"Zabuza was enough to give Kakashi trouble, and Haku was something like a Tokubetsu Jonin with his speed and Bloodline Limit," Sasuke nodded. "Good thing we've been training so hard, trying to follow your example."
"Glad I could help, even if indirectly," I grinned. I knew that if they'd ever been in any real danger the Kage Bunshin I had stalking them would have helped out. The fact he hadn't was testament to Team 7's talent and teamwork.
"Kichirou-nii… will you help me when I go after Itachi one day? I won't kill him, if anything I want to invite him back to the village. He was only following orders, after all. He's not a traitor. But we'll probably need to kick his ass to convince him to return. Can I count on you?" Sasuke asked hopefully.
"Don't even have to ask. I'll back you up on convincing Itachi to come back," I swore. "But he's been in the wind as an S-rank Missing-nin for years, Sasuke. He could be in a bad place or position."
"Then we'll beat the stupid out of him while we're at it if he doesn't want to come back willingly," Sasuke said with determined eyes.
"Sounds like a plan," I grinned.
Sasuke left to relax in his own house… and get back to his own grind. Fighting Haku seemed to have lit a fire under his ass. I waved him goodbye and then focused on my 'Status' and allocating my points.
[Achievement Unlocked!]
[Achievement: Well-Rounded (XII)
All Attributes (except LUK) are 600 or higher. CP is passively doubled (stackable).
Status
Name: Nara Kichirou
Title: The Gamer, Rising Star, Monkey Sage
Occupation: Apprentice (Sarutobi Hiruzen)
Class: Battle Medic, Fuinjutsu Specialist
Level: 95
EXP: 3100/9500
HP: 9500/9500
SP: 6010/6010
CP: 252108800/252108800
Attributes:
STR: 601
DEX: 601
VIT: 950
INT: 630
WIS: 630
LUK: -77
Available Attribute points: 0
Available Perk points: 0
Available Blessing points: 0
[Perk: Pain is Weakness Leaving the Body
For every 1 HP lost, regain 1 SP and 10 CP.]
[Perk: Fatherhood Favors
All children beget or raised by you are 25% more likely to listen to you and like you.]
[Blessing: Skill Adept (II)
All Skills are leveled up 10% faster (stackable).]
[Blessing: Attribute Attainer (II)
All Attributes are leveled up 10% faster (stackable).]
I went back to the backyard to return to my seal research. I was sure I was on the cusp of working out the trick.
It was back to the grind after that. I got those last 2 Levels in Fuinjutsu Mastery, made the Sub-Elemental Sealing Matrix and got it on my back. I had experimented with all 9 other 2-element combinations besides Wood. For the record, I tried a 3-element combination with a Moku Bunshin, which was much more durable than a Kage Bunshin. He exploded. Violently. So no Bloodline Selection elements for me. Anyway, given I didn't exactly have scrolls from the various clans who had these sub-elements naturally as part of a Bloodline Limit, I was basically flying blind. Thankfully, I had created the Jutsu Creation Skill and ground it to the point I could reliably create Jutsu up to B-rank. I applied that to all the sub-elements and started building quite an arsenal to go with all my 'ordinary' Fire, Water, Earth, Wind, and Lightning Jutsu.
For the record, Moku Bunshin were like Kage Bunshin in that they cost a fraction of my chakra to make. But they had a much higher minimum chakra requirement in exchange for having actual HP instead of popping with one hit. Given I was swiftly becoming the strongest in the village, I tended to spar against a Moku Bunshin or 5 to really stretch my muscles. It occurred to me that if I ever made a Perfect Bunshin, a copy of me in every way, defeating him might count as a Quest or Achievement. On a whim, I attempted to create said Jutsu. I required Jutsu Creation Level 90 and Yin-Yang Release Mastery of 75. But now I knew it was possible, that was on my bucket list: kicking my own ass.
I was training with Hiruzen when a Kage Bunshin I'd had hanging out with Naruto dispelled and made me aware of a situation. "Konohamaru's in trouble," I told my sensei.
His eyes flashed. "Go!" he barked.
A Shunshin later, I appeared next to Naruto, Sakura, and Konohamaru's two friends Moegi and Udon. Konohamaru himself was being held by the throat by one Kankuro of the Desert. Temari was next to him, Gaara was hiding in a nearby tree, and Sasuke was watching from the same tree but hadn't seemed to notice Gaara.
"What seems to be the problem here?" I asked, making everyone aware of my sudden appearance.
"This kid bumped into me, so I'm going to teach him some manners," Kankuro said, giving Konohamaru a little shake.
"Far be it from me to lecture the Kazekage's son while he's a guest in my humble village. But don't you think roughing up the Hokage's grandson might lead to something of an international incident?" I asked in a saccharine tone that did nothing to hide my real message: let Konohamaru go or I'd kick his ass.
Kankruo paled and dropped Konohamaru. I caught him before he touched the ground and straightened out his scarf after setting him down gently. "There, there, Konohamaru-kun, the bad man won't bother you anymore. Why don't you and your friends run off? You can play with Naruto later," I encouraged.
"You got it, Kichirou-niisan!" Konohamaru agreed before turning tail and fleeing with his classmates.
I turned back to Kankuro and Temari. "Really, what were you thinking, dumbass? Even if he'd been an ordinary kid, assaulting someone outside the boundaries of the Chunin Exams is just a bad idea all around," I asked.
"I, well, that is," he said, sweating underneath his bodysuit.
"Forgive my foolish little brother," Temari said, stepping forward. "Too much time in Suna's hot sun has damaged his brain."
"Oi!" Kankuro hissed at his sister.
"Let me guess: Kankuro of the Desert, novice at Suna's infamous puppet Jutsu," I said pointing at the boy with 'war-paint' on his face. I turned my finger to Temari. "Temari of the Desert, Wind Ninjutsu specialist and the eldest sibling." And then I turned to the nearby tree. "Which must make you Gaara of the Desert, their younger brother. You use a combination of your father's Magnet Release and the Ichibi's chakra to manipulate sand."
Gaara blurred in a short-range Shunshin with a sand effect instead of leaves. Temari and Kankuro flinched at his arrival and backed away like they legitimately feared for their lives. Gaara kept his eyes on me. "You seem very well informed about me and my siblings. How unfair. We don't even know your name," Gaara said in a voice as dry as the desert he hailed from.
"How rude of me. I'm Nara Kichirou. Kumo calls me the 'Manic Monkey' for some reason after they gave me a bounty when I got into a scuffle with the Raikage's brother." Monkey, I got it because I had summoned Enma during our fight. But where had Killer B gotten 'manic' from, really? "And beside me are Uzumaki Naruto and Haruno Sakura," I added.
"Kichirou… this guy's like me?" Naruto asked, looking at Gaara with wary eyes.
"He's a carnival mirror reflection of you," I said, not outright referencing the fact they were Jinchuuriki because Sakura was there. "And Sasuke, might as well join us down here."
Sasuke hopped out of the tree and landed beside us. We formed a united front facing the Sand Siblings.
"Nara Kichirou," Gaara said, looking at me with those dead eyes. "... You are strong. You would certainly prove my existence."
"And if we face each other in the Chunin Exams next week, I'll be happy to have a bout with you. But until then, you and your siblings be on your best behavior. This isn't Suna, you can't get away with murder just because of who your dad is here," I said.
"Hold up a minute, what did the blond kid mean when he said he was like Gaara?" Kankuro asked.
I tilted my head. "Surely you stopped to think about the 8 others in the world burdened as your brother is at some point. Naruto is Konoha's equivalent."
"Fuck," Temari swore, looking at Naruto like he was a monster.
"Anyway, if that's all, please return to your hotel. I think you've had quite enough of playing tourist for the day," I said.
"... See you in the Exams, Nara Kichirou. Temari, Kankuro, come," Gaara said before turning and walking away.
"Okay, what the hell was that?!" Sakura asked after they were out of sight.
"Just me de-escalating a potentially FUBAR scenario," I sighed. "Kankuro hurting Konohamaru really would have been enough to almost start a war. And Gaara is a hair-trigger psychopath, he's been known to murder anyone he deems a threat to his life back in Suna. Granted, his father outright sends Chunin and Jonin on assassination missions against him so he's rightfully paranoid. Still, would not have been good if he lost control and attacked you guys right here in the middle of the village."
"That's horrible! Why would the Kazekage want to kill his own son?!" Sakura gasped.
"Rasa considers Gaara to be a failed experiment, a malfunctioning weapon. But he's not willing to put his son down himself. So he half-heartedly sends his underlings to try and do the job. If they succeed, Gaara's no longer a problem. If they fail, well, Gaara gets honed into a sharper tool even if not the most mentally stable kind," I elaborated.
"What's wrong with him?" Sasuke asked.
"He's Suna's Jinchuuriki, the human they sealed the Ichibi into to try and make a super ninja and war deterrent. Every major village has at least one Jinchuuriki, ever since the First Hokage tracked down and traded out the Bijuu to try and foster relations between Konoha and the other villages. From what I've been able to figure out, Gaara was a shy, gentle spirit who never wanted to use his powers to hurt people as a kid. So Rasa had his uncle try to kill him and convince Gaara it was because he hated him for his sister dying in childbirth having him. It worked a little too well; Gaara's mind cracked like an egg and now he hates everyone and everything. He doesn't trust anyone but himself, he doesn't love anyone but himself, and he finds validation to his existence in ending others'. That's what he meant earlier, in his mind killing a potential threat like me will prove he has the right to live," I explained.
"Shit," Naruto said, frowning in thought.
"Wait, every village has one of these Jinchuuriki? A human being with one of the Bijuu sealed in them?" Sakura asked. "Then… the Fourth Hokage didn't die killing the Kyuubi! He died sealing it away inside someone! But who?"
"Whoever it is, I'm sure it's an S-rank secret. A bit above your pay grade, Sakura," I grinned, not giving anything away. Hopefully she wouldn't remember how I'd referenced Naruto was like Gaara.
"Right. Well, I was actually on an errand for my parents before this thing with Konohamaru happened. See you guys later," she said, waving goodbye and taking off.
Once she was around the corner, Naruto and Sasuke turned to me. "How worried should we be about that guy taking the Chunin Exams with us?" Sasuke asked plainly.
"Flee on sight," I said immediately. "He's Jonin-level all on his own with his ability to control sand. He crushes his enemies into paste by covering them in 'Sand Coffins' and then compressing it in a 'Sand Burial'. He's got an automatic defensive shield with his sand too, and wears an inch-thick layer of Sand Armor at all times. When he starts tapping into the Ichibi's chakra, he gets even worse. The two of you working together right now couldn't take him down going all out. Give it a month of hard training for these Exams and learning some decent attack Jutsu, maybe. But I'd much rather it be me or one of Konoha's elites going up against him than an unsuspecting Genin."
"He… he uses the Ichibi's chakra?" Naruto asked. He looked uneasy.
"More like the Ichibi's chakra uses him," I told my little brother. "His seal containing it is pathetic. If he falls unconscious, the Ichibi can take over his body. He never sleeps, and not in the broken way like we have from the Gamer. I'm convinced a good third of his insanity is just because he's that fucking tired. Gaara's ultimate attack is literally to make a miniature or life-size version of the Ichibi and then knock himself out so it has free reign."
"Is that… normal for Jinchuuriki? Using the Bijuu as a battery?" Naruto asked.
"In theory, a Jinchuuriki's only function is to stop the Bijuu from getting loose and attacking the village of the inhabitant. But over the years, the Hidden Villages have tried to weaponize it, have the Jinchuuriki tame or at least aim the Bijuu's power at their enemies," I explained. "Kumo has the best track record with it. Both the Nibi and Hachibi Jinchuuriki are so-called 'Perfect Jinchuuriki'. They've gotten the Bijuu to agree to an equal partnership and they fight side-by-side instead of against each other."
"How do they do that?" Naruto asked, eyes distant.
"It varies from person to person. The common denominator is earning the Bijuu's respect and willingness to help their host out. That can come from a simple talk, passing some test, or just kicking the crap out of the Bijuu. If you want to become a Perfect Jinchuuriki, Naruto, you need to get the Kyuubi to become your friend. Good luck with that," I said, clapping him on the shoulder.
"I haven't even met him yet," Naruto reflected. "I don't know how."
"Meditate, and focus on retreating inward. Once you get the trick, it's easy," I recommended. Jinchuuriki naturally had access to their Mindscape, I was sure, instead of needing all the Yin training that most needed or a Perk like had happened with me. "Now, I was in the middle of training. Ta-ta for now."
I used Shunshin to get back to Training Ground 3, assured Hiruzen all was well, and we got back to the grind. At sunset, he handed me a paper form. "Need I even ask?" he chuckled.
I pulled a pen out of my Inventory and filled out the Chunin Exam Registration form then and there. "Will I need a team?" I asked.
"Yes, the Exams are structured that way. Meet me the day before the First Exam in my office and I'll introduce you to the two Genin I've selected to work with you," Hiruzen nodded.
I nodded. I was about to Shunshin home when I had a thought. "Say, would you mind if I looked at the Hiraishin formula the Second left in the Forbidden Scroll of Seals?"
"Oh, Sage, that's just what we need, you able to teleport," Hiruzen fake grumbled. "For all I care, you can read the whole damn scroll. I trust you not to abuse anything you find in there."
He took me back to the Hokage Tower, and showed me to the hidden room where the Forbidden Scroll of Seals was kept. I laid my hand on it for a second, and just like that learned everything inside it thanks to my Knowledge Absorption Blessing. "I'll have a LOT of fun with all this," I grinned. I bowed to Hiruzen and left to meet with Dragon, sending a fresh Kage Bunshin to go home to be with Anko and make other Kage Bunshin to grind.
By the time I got home at 3:50 before my daily check in with my spy network, I had created Skills for every Jutsu in the Forbidden Scroll. Including creating my own personalized Hiraishin formula. My Kage Bunshin had already started mass-producing Hiraishin tags for me to tie to kunai or place in important locations I wanted instant access to. The only thing I hadn't tried to make was an Edo Tensei Skill. Given the whole sacrifice requirement, not to mention genetic material of the person I was bringing back. I couldn't exactly farm White Zetsu… or could I? I had Wood Release, if I could cultivate my chakra-infused cells to start growing like a plant… worth investigating. Or just creating a Blood Bunshin Jutsu or something.
I did a little experimentation after the check-in with my Kage Bunshin in my Mindscape. I tried the Jutsu Creation Skill on making Blood Bunshin, and was told I needed Level 80. I was at 64. So that was going to be a while. For the Zetsu, I cut a decent chunk of my arm's flesh off, negating the pain and regenerating the lost tissue with Medical Ninjutsu. Then I planted the flesh like it was a seed and focused on channeling Wood Nature chakra into it. The result was a seedling that, from what I could read with Medical Ninjutsu, had human DNA mixed in. But I quickly concluded that my plans to grow Zetsu out of it was a pipedream. I didn't have access to the Gezo Mado, after all, and White Zetsu were the result of humans being metamorphosed into drones by the God Tree. I'd made an interesting new species of tree for my garden, but it wouldn't serve a functional purpose.
I got back to the general grind, just cranking out more and more Attributes and leveling up all my Skills. The day before the First Exam, I reported to Hiruzen's office. I knocked on his door, and heard "Come in, Kichirou-kun."
I stepped in and froze.
"Kichirou-kun, these gentlemen are Maruboshi Kosuke and Yakushi Kabuto," Hiruzen introduced, sitting behind his desk without a care in the world. "They will be your teammates for the length of the Chunin Exams."
I debated what to do. If I blew Kabuto's cover, Orochimaru could panic that his inside man was discovered and might move things up or alter the Invasion in some way. I had to play nice, even though I wasn't anything like comfortable being on a team with the consummate spy. I schooled my features and bowed. "A pleasure to meet you both. I know Kosuke-san by reputation, but I'm afraid I'm not familiar with you, Kabuto-san."
"Oh, I'm nothing special. This will actually be my 7th Chunin Exams! Don't know why Hokage-sama picked me to pad out the team for his special apprentice," Kabuto said, putting on a perfect act.
"I just owed Hiruzen-kun a favor," Kosuke said with a pleasant smile. "I'll be withdrawing after the Second Exam, of course. I made a vow to never be promoted, and I intend to keep it."
"Of course, of course. Well, shall we agree to meet at the front of the Ninja Academy at, say, 8:30 tomorrow? The First Exam starts at 9:00, plenty of time," I offered.
"Looking forward," Kosuke nodded. "If that's all, I'll be taking my leave." He vanished in a flawless Shunshin.
"I'll be headed out too. Looking forward to working with you, Kichirou-san!" Kabuto grinned before walking out the door.
"What is it, Kichirou-kun? You tensed as soon as you came in," Hiruzen asked, his eyes missing nothing.
"Kabuto's Level is too high," I said. I wouldn't come out and say he was a Root turned double agent, but I could reveal that much. "He's Jonin-level, easy. If he hasn't passed the Chunin Exams yet, it's because he doesn't want to."
Hiruzen frowned. "Interesting… possibly troubling. I'll be sure to keep an eye on him."
I nodded and left for one last day of grinding before the first major plot point in canon and hoped I'd done enough to head off the worst of the coming disaster.
The next morning, I had a Kage Bunshin meet with all the Rookie 9 at their houses before they left that morning. I handed each a Hiraishin kunai and told them to throw it if they were in trouble. I kept grinding all the way to 8:00 then decided the last 13 years and 5 months would have to do. I went to the Academy the slow way, and met with Kosuke and Kabuto.
We went up the staircase, not even slowing down at the second level and the Genjutsu meant to fool us. We got to the right classroom and entered. It was full almost to the brim with Genin from all over the Elemental Nations.
I could have quietly slipped into a corner. But I was a Tank. I had equipped the class that morning and everything since I was in a team, even if one of the members was compromised. So I hopped on top of one of the desks and shouted so the whole room could hear. "Yo! The name's Nara Kichirou! You nameless extras are just background characters to the real hero: me! Form an orderly line and I'll hand you your asses one by one!"
The flood of Killing Intent aimed at me was enough to give even a Jonin pause. I didn't even blink. I hopped back down and led Kosuke and Kabuto to a free stretch of wall.
"Was that really necessary?" Kosuke asked as he sat down next to me.
"We're the most capable Konoha team in the exams. Now most of them will focus on us instead of the rookies. And we can handle it. You're a freaking A-rank Genin, I'm S-rank if I'm truly motivated, and Kabuto… well, I'm sure he can avail himself when the situation calls for it," I shrugged.
"That's a bold claim, Kichirou-san. Are you truly so capable? Last I heard you hadn't taken anything above a B-rank mission," Kabuto said casually, but I knew he was fishing for information.
"I got my bounty on that B-rank winning a fight against Killer B of Kumo. Between that and facing Kurosuki Raiga on my first C-rank, I'm convinced anything but D-ranks are jinxed. I focus on training over taking missions anyway. I get enough to get by farming D-ranks and the occasional bounty," I said, as if he were a friendly Konoha-nin.
"Oh, I see," Kabuto said, then he went quiet. He was too good to give away anything on his face, but his shoulders were a tad tense.
The Rookie 9 arrived shortly afterwards. Naruto gave me a friendly wave, but they all just found a quiet spot to wait. Bless them, they'd learned the importance of subtlety. At 9:00 on the dot, there was a puff of smoke at the front of the room.
"Alright, maggots, listen up! As of this moment, the Chunin Exams have begun!" Morino Ibiki declared.
The room went dead quiet. We all looked at Ibiki and the line of Chunin proctors on either side of him.
"The First Exam will be a written test. Each of you, come to the front and get your assigned seat! Be fast and orderly, we don't have all day!"
I got in the hastily formed line and went to the numbered seat. A random Taki-nin was to my left and Rock Lee ended up sitting on my right. He gave me a thumbs-up but didn't make a scene.
Once we were all seated, Ibiki had the proctors at the end of each row pass out the tests and pencils. Ibiki explained the rules, how we all started with 10 points and would lose a point for every incorrect answer. How being caught cheating by a proctor would result in the loss of 2 points. If anyone lost all their points either by cheating or getting the questions wrong, they and their whole team failed on the spot. And that the final question would be withheld until 45 minutes into the test.
"Ready? Begin!" Ibiki said, and we all flipped our sheets over.
The questions actually weren't that hard. Then again, my Intelligence was over 600, so who was I to talk? I finished all the questions with time to spare. Then I flipped it over and amused myself watching all the ways the other examinees were cheating. Naruto had an… original idea. He remotely made a Kage Bunshin already under Henge into a brunette Sexy Jutsu. While everyone was staring at the naked lady, he switched his test with the examinee next to him and changed the name on it. Not sure the proctor even caught it, he'd been looking pretty hard at the Bunshin before she popped.
Examinees were getting kicked out left and right as Ibiki and the proctors caught them cheating 5 times. A good third of the original test takers were out by the time Ibiki started the 10th question.
Then it was like a pressure cooker turned on as Ibiki played his mind game and gave us the do-or-die ultimatum. I was proud to note none of the Rookie 9 so much as flinched. In the end, a mere 51 Genin were left in the room. In the manga it had been 60, guess Naruto's speech had stopped 3 people from throwing in the towel. After a solid minute of nobody else cracking, Ibiki grinned. "Congratulations. You have passed the First Exam."
[Quest Complete! Ibiki's Test! Pass a First Exam run by Morino Ibiki! +500 EXP.]
While people lost their shit and Ibiki explained the importance of being willing to risk your life as a Chunin commander, I kept an eye on my minimap. Sure enough, Anko was outside. I braced myself for an entrance.
Sure enough, a smoke bomb went off at the front of the room just as Ibiki was retying his bandana covering all the scars of his torture. It cleared to show a banner had been put up, reading 'The future Nara Anko has arrived!'. Anko was striking a pose on the front row of desks.
"What up, tasty morsels? Don't care what Ibiki has been up to. The Second Exam, which I am running, will eat you alive!" she declared.
"You're early, Anko," Ibiki sighed in fond exasperation.
"No, you were just taking too long with your long-winded speech. They passed, they get the message, now it's my turn to have fun with them," Anko countered. She counted heads. "17 teams. An odd number, great. Less than half of them will pass the Second Exam."
While the other Genin broke out in worried whispers about that, Anko blew me a kiss. "Remember, Kichirou-kun, we're taste-testing cakes at the bakery next week."
"I remember, darling," I drawled, knowing she'd singled me out just for fun. I felt another surge of Killing Intent, this time from the single men in the remaining Genin teams.
"Anyway, meet me at Training Ground 44 in half an hour! If you're a second late, you're disqualified!" With that, Anko used Shunshin to vanish.
There was a mass exodus of the teams from the Academy. Us Konoha-nin knew the way and were not very subtly followed as we went towards the Forest of Death. We gathered in front of the massive fenced-in forest, with Anko standing idly munching on a stick of dango in front of a small booth that had been set up.
At 1800 seconds exactly since she used Shunshin at the Academy, Anko spoke up. "Alright, brats. This here is Training Ground 44, lovingly known as the Forest of Death. The Second Exam will take place here. It will be a scroll battle test."
"Scroll battle? The fuck is that?" asked one Ame-nin.
Anko threw a kunai that nicked his cheek and moved so fast she caught it and held it to his throat a half-second later. "Well, if you'd keep your trap shut, I'd get around to telling you," she practically cooed at the terrified Genin.
She waited for the urine to finish soaking his crotch and returned to her original position. "Anyway, it's like this. Each of you will be given either a Heaven Scroll or an Earth Scroll. To pass the Second Exam, your whole team must arrive at the tower in the center of this Training Ground with both scrolls in your possession. If you all can do math, you'll be realizing about now that at most, only 8 teams will be passing. I doubt it'll be that many, though."
She explained the other rules: no opening the scrolls, 120 hour time limit, having to survive purely off what we could hunt or gather. She ended by handing out the waivers so our families or respective village couldn't sue in the event of death during the Exam. We all signed the forms and went into the booth as a team. We were assigned an Earth Scroll and a gate number.
I led us to the gate, taking one last look at Observe at a certain Kusa kunoichi in a straw hat.
Name: Orochimaru
Title: Snake Sage, Mad Scientist
Occupation: First Otokage
Class: Summoner, Ninjutsu Specialist
Level: 131
EXP: 4900/13100
Relationship: -47/100
HP: 4320/4320
SP: 6200/6200
CP: 11944960/11944960
Attributes:
STR: 528
DEX: 712
VIT: 432
INT: 634
WIS: 459
LUK: 211
Huh. Other than his Dexterity and Luck, I had higher attributes across the board. I knew he wouldn't be easy, and he had some utter hax of Jutsu that helped his survivability. And one didn't reach age 50 in his chosen career by being a pushover. Still, I felt a surge in confidence.
Kosuke, Kabuto, and I reached our assigned gate. I had stored the Earth Scroll in my Inventory, where literally no one else but one of my Kage Bunshin could access it. "How do you want to go about this, Kichirou-san?" Kosuke asked as we waited for Anko to announce the start of the Exam.
"Straight sprint for the tower. We can ambush any team that arrives and take their scroll or scrolls," I decided.
"A sound strategy," Kabuto nodded.
We waited patiently, and then my fiance's voice came out of a megaphone. "The Second Exam begins… now!"
The gate opened and we charged in.