Bad Author Notes: This was just a quick writing exercise of what life would be like if a character was a serial killer in the wizard world.

If someone wants to expand the idea, please do so and send me a link.

Hi, I'm a wizard. I'm also a Sociopath or psychopath, not sure which, I get them confused. Oh, if you never heard of either term, it's cause they're Muggle terms. I'm also a serial killer, another Muggle term but I really don't understand how one can kill cereal. That's a joke so it's ok if you laugh.

Being a serial killer and a wizard is boring.

I know you're probably thinking 'how can you be bored when you're a wizard and a serial killer'

That's easy, it's too easy.

I started out with pure blood and magical raised. As soon as you got their wand and the emergency portkey, if they have one, they would start whining and begging and pretty much giving up. They never fought back. It was like they didn't know how to, so they accepted that they were going to die. They weren't any fun.

Muggle-born and those raised more in the Muggle world… when you find one, they tend to be a bit more fun. They fight a bit more. They problem is finding one. You see most Muggle-born ran away from the isle as soon as they can. The wizard world isn't very nice to them so why stick around. Those who do stick around either marry into a wizard family and therefore are stuck here or they're idiots or both.

Now before you start worry about the Muggle born attending Hogwarts, you can stop. My taste doesn't go that young. I prefer them to be over 30. 40 is better. They experience life more and therefore more fight, more ideas on how to save themselves. Beside I think Magic, herself would turn again me if I went for younger ones.

Now Muggles… they know how to fight for their lives. I had one who tried to seduce me so she could escape. I almost let her go but she was so much fun; so sweet. Another one broke his own bones to escape the binding I had him in. I played with him for the longest time before I grew tired of him.

So, you're probably wonder what the problem is? All I need to do is stick with Muggles but there in lies the problem. It's easy to capture a Muggle and spirit them away even with all the recording devices they have all over the place.

Pick out your Muggle, cast Imperio and then have them meeting you in an alley with no recording devices and then apparate away with them.

Easy and boring. No danger. No chance of getting caught.

At least in the wizarding community they have magic detectors and Aurors who can track someone apparating away. But as I said witches and wizard are dull as dull can be.

And then comes disposing of what's left and once again magic makes it so easy and not worth going over.

Sometime I drop a body off in the wizard world but the Aurors tend to cover things up and claim it was dark wizards… after that they tend to do nothing. If the body is a Muggle then tend to dispose of it someway. Probably send it to a Muggle morgue if they're feeling nice.

Now Muggle, they do so much more. They're actually fun to watch.

You see when I dispose of a body in the Muggle world, I transfigure the body to make it easier to manage. Find a nice public place, maybe a park or a city street… far from children of course. Don't want to them to see it. So, then I drop it off and let the magic wear off. Boom! One dead body, most of the time, with no evidence leading back to me or anyone else.

I'll hide someplace and watch the Muggle Aurors scurry all over the place, picking up everything little thing to try to figure it out. Once in a while I'll visit one of them, talk to them about all my playmates… confess everything and obliviate them. It's fun. Almost as much fun as the ones I play with. You give them the key, the answer to everything and then you take it away. Puff!

While the Muggle Aurors are fun to play with, you know they don't even have a chance of catching me and that's part of the problem.

Kind of makes everything boring.

Death Eaters? Yeah, I've played with them… oh I'm not one of them. Death eaters are rather… pitiful. I'm mean they're worse than the regular witches and wizards. 'You can't get away with this. When the Dark Lord learns about… Wah! Wah! The Dark Lord Wah! Wah!

I mean they can take pain caused by magic pretty well. I guess their so-called Master trained them on that but one little cut, one broken bone… damn they're so pitiful. The war would have been over fairly quickly if the Aurors has just captured one Death Eater and just made the tiniest cut.

And the so-called Light witches and wizards… they pretty much like any other witch or wizard. Get their wand and they're done. You would think they would know how to fight after all they claim to be fighting Death Eaters but they're just as worthless as the Death Eaters. They're barely able to kick me in the shins.

As for the Light's Savior and his friends, well I'm no fool. I know better than to touch someone who has been blessed or is it cursed by Magic. Beside as I told you earlier, I don't do kids.

As I also said being a serial killer and a wizard is boooooooooooring.