"I'll see you guys shortly," Willow said, taking the time to give her two lovers a quick peck, a little shy about public displays of affection, even if it was so late it was early and there likely wasn't anyone up at this point except for vampires who would be heading to bed.

"Going to shave your fuzzy legs?" Buffy teased.

"Yes, Miss Grizzly," she teased back, "and do all the other hygiene related things that are more convenient in the twentieth century rather than in medieval Europe. Oh, and I should also vacuum and dust while I think about it. I haven't been home to get it dirty, but it still collects dust somehow. I'll meet you two at your house once I have smooth legs and have straightened up a bit."

Xander leaned in to steal another quick kiss. "Wait until the sun is up before coming over."

"I will. Remember to read over your homework to refresh your memory," Willow reminded them, before unlocking her front door and disappearing inside.

"You are so lucky you don't have to shave your legs," Buffy told Xander as they started walking.

"The ones who get to wear skirts have to shave their legs, them's the rules," he drawled out in a fake southern accent. "You womens stole dresses and high heels from us, so we don'ts got to shave anything."

"What?" Buffy asked, trying not to laugh and wondering what new insanity he was going to come up with.

"High heels were invented for butchers, which were mainly men, and then adopted by the powdered wig set because it made their calves look fabulous," Xander explained, dropping the accent.

"Butchers?"

"High heels let them avoid walking in the blood," he said with a shrug, "it was a messy profession. Probably still is, but I haven't looked into modern practices."

"And how do skirts factor into this?" Buffy asked, wondering where he came up with these things.

"Skirts are super comfortable and allow air where it is needed, especially on men," he said with a grin. "We're always shifting and scratching ourselves because pants are damned uncomfortable in the crotch area."

"So… you're saying that women stole skirts and high heels from men?" she asked, shaking her head at her obviously insane boyfriend.

"Well, well, well, what do we have here?" a feminine voice purred from the darkness.

The two turned as three dark haired, female vampires came out of the mouth of an alley they were passing. The three were dressed in black leather and blue jeans with their game faces already on display, leaving no doubt as to what they were.

"Looks like dinner," one said with a toothy grin, showing off her fangs.

"You're new in town, aren't you?" Xander asked dryly.

"Yeah, why? Going to offer to show us around?" she asked, taking the time to check him out as something other than a meal and beginning to smile as she couldn't even smell a whiff of fear.

"Sorry, I'm taken," he replied with some amusement.

"The blonde girl here?" another spoke up with a sneer.

"Allow me to introduce myself," Buffy said, shrugging off her backpack and rolling her shoulders to loosen up, "I'm Buffy… Vampire Slayer comma The."

"Crap," the shortest of the three cursed, before turning and vanishing down the alley in a burst of speed.

"Shelia, Tanya just ran for it," the other vampire said anxiously, "and you know the rules." She stumbled back as Shelia turned and fled without a word, before quickly following as well.

"Huh, usually they aren't that smart," Buffy said, sliding a stake back into the pocket of her jacket and retrieving her pack.

"Yeah," Xander agreed as they both shrugged off the strange encounter and continued down the road.

"So, is that why Scottish women don't shave?" Buffy asked.

"What?" he replied, confused.

"Since Scottish men still wear dresses, is that the reason Scottish women don't shave?" Buffy explained.

"I have no idea," Xander said with a shrug. "As far as I know they shave, but then I haven't checked to see what populations shave or not."

"Oh," Buffy said. "I was just joking anyway, and I'm not sure how we'd check either."

"Ask Willow," he suggested, "someone has probably done a study on shaving habits and she'd be able to find it."

"Let's move to a less crazy topic," Buffy said firmly.

"That one did kinda get away from us," he agreed with a grin. "So, what did you want to talk about?"

"Nothing really," Buffy said with a shrug, "I just wanted to change the subject because it was making my legs itch. I really, really, really need to shave. I hate short prickly hair."

"That's why I use conditioner, it makes all my hair soft and shiny."

"I was wondering why your pubes were so soft," Buffy said, "but I just figured you masturbated a lot, not Harmony a lot, but normal guy a lot."

"How would doing that make my pubes soft?" Xander asked in confusion before smacking himself in the head. "Lotion!"

"Exactly," Buffy said with a grin. "In fact, I was going to see what kind of lotion you used so I could use it on mine and Willow's."

"Just good old conditioner," Xander assured her as she unlocked the front door and they entered her house. "I tend to avoid lotions."

"Lotions for what?" Joyce asked, startling the both of them.

"Mom, you're up early… or maybe late," Buffy said with a frown. "You weren't waiting up for me, were you?"

"No dear," Joyce said, giving her a hug, "I had some strange dream involving penguins or something and found myself awake a couple of hours early. Now what was that about lotion?"

"Buffy was wondering why all my hair is so soft," Xander offered, trying and failing not to grin.

"All your hair… and you avoid lotion…" Joyce puzzled out and then burst out laughing. "Vaseline?" she asked with a smirk.

Xander nodded. "Same with you?"

"I feel like I'm missing something here," Buffy said with a frown, looking from her boyfriend to her mother, but of whom looked really amused.

"In the 70's we did all sorts or strange things with our hair, and one of the popular rumors was that Vaseline would help hair grow," Joyce explained.

"Hadn't heard that one," Xander said with a shrug. "I was just a teenage boy doing stupid teenage boy things."

"I'm going to need things spelled out here," Buffy said.

Joyce and Xander exchanged mischief looks before she said, "Just use some Vaseline on your pubic hair and give it a minute or so to soak in before washing it off. There should be a jar of it in the medicine cabinet."

"Is there more coffee?" Xander asked, dropping his backpack on the couch.

"Just made a fresh pot," Joyce told him. "Help yourself."

"Well, I am going to go shave my legs," Buffy said, "you get to keep Xander entertained."

"I'm easily amused so it's not that big a deal," Xander said from the kitchen, already pouring himself a large cup of coffee.

"I'm sure we can keep ourselves entertained," Joyce said as her daughter hurried upstairs. "So," she said as Xander returned with his coffee, "anything interesting happen in Narnia?"

Xander sat down on the couch. "Mr. Beaver and Tumnus stopped by with the Pevensies. Things were resolved a bit easier than in the books, as we provided them with Molotov Cocktails and convinced Jadis to leave an ice golem in her place. Had to tell them we couldn't be part of their new government or help them rule, since we know they do a good job on their own and we could screw that up for them."

"Was Edmund as big a brat as he was in the books?" Joyce asked curiously. "I'm sure Lucy was simply adorable."

"Edmund had lots of questions, but seemed an okay kid. Of course, he was supposed to be a lot less of a brat by this point in the story, so that wasn't a surprise. Lucy was even more adorable in person. Willow and Buffy had to be pried loose from hugging her."

The two talked for nearly an hour before there was a knock at the door and Joyce let Willow in.

"Are you okay?" Joyce asked as she saw that the young redhead her daughter was dating looked a little out of it.

"Have you ever thought about how many raccoons it would take to run a vacuum cleaner?" Willow asked as she sank down on the couch and snuggled against Xander's side.

"I can't say it's come up," Joyce admitted with a shrug.

"Three," Xander said firmly, causing them both to stare at him. "What? Me and Jesse discussed this sort of thing."

"Oh," Willow said, "well… you're right."

"I'm right?" Xander stared at Willow. "Did wild animals clean your house for you?"

"Yes… and they did a surprisingly okay job," Willow said, "it was all very surreal."

"How…" Joyce's voice trailed off and she shrugged, unable to think of what to say.

"You were singing, weren't you," Xander said with a laugh.

"Yeah, but it wasn't one of the songs from Cinderella, it was from The Little Mermaid!"

"Doesn't matter, you are a Disney Princess. If you are doing chores and you start singing, the local wildlife is going to want to help out," he said with a shrug. "At least they're helpful, though I'm not sure what kind of wildlife we actually have out here to call up."

"Raccoons, birds, a couple of mice… which were eaten by a cat and one slow moving armadillo," Willow explained. "I was surprised at how useful the raccoons were."

"It's the hands, they are like tiny, masked people," Xander said.

"You guys suck," Buffy said as she stumbled down the stairs.

"Occasionally," Xander agreed, "but I'm not sure what you are complaining about this time."

"I don't suck…" Willow's voice trailed off and she turned bright red and buried her face in Xander's side.

"Not that!" Buffy exclaimed. "I mean the whole thing with the Vaseline."

"Oh, forgot about that," Xander admitted.

"How did you forget about that?!" Buffy demanded. "It was just five… ten… fifteen… how long has it been?"

"Better part of an hour, dear," Joyce said, taking a sip of her coffee to try and hide her amusement.

"What does Vaseline have to do with anything?" Willow asked, her blush fading.

"They tricked me into using it to see if it made my bush less… bushy," Buffy explained, embarrassed.

"Oh," Willow said with a thoughtful frown. "That would probably work, but it'd be really hard to remove."

"Yes, that! All of that!" Buffy exclaimed. "I feel like I just went through some bizarre Vaseline based hazing ritual."

Xander nodded. "Just like we went through it ourselves, and now you get to inflict it on others."

"Huh," Buffy said, instantly calming down and getting a thoughtful look on her face, "I'll have to pick my victim carefully."

"All over being upset?" Joyce asked.

"Yeah, the fact that we've all been through it makes it a bit better," Buffy said. "Now, what distracted you guys enough to make you forget you did that to me?"

"Willow can actually get wild animals to clean her house if she sings Disney songs," Xander said.

"You lucky bitch!"

"Language," Joyce scolded her daughter.

"Sorry, Mom," Buffy apologized, "but you remember how many times I tried that, and it didn't work."

"Yes, it just annoyed Mr. Tibbles," Joyce agreed, eyes dancing with amusement.

"Your cat?" Xander guessed.

"The neighbor's cat," Buffy replied, "and he was a harsh music critic too."

"Hey, you're a Disney princess too!" Willow pointed out. "You may be the slayer, but you were also Elsa."

"Yeah, you might be able to pull it off," Xander agreed, "depending on how the chaos magic did its thing."

"Experiment later, and not in the house," Joyce said. "Regardless of how clean they look in the movies, I don't want wild animals in the house."

"But, but…" Buffy scrambled to figure out some way she could use her hopefully newfound powers to get out of doing household chores.

"We don't even know if you have the same Disney magic Willow does, we'll need to test it," Xander said before beginning to grin evilly.

"What's that grin for?" Buffy asked, suddenly on guard.

"Testing new powers is something a Slayer's Watcher should be involved in," Xander pointed out.

"That doesn't explain the evil grin," Buffy argued.

"We can make Giles watch all the Disney movies with us and take notes!" Willow exclaimed, as she realized what Xander was hinting at.

Buffy burst out laughing. "Oh god, this is going to be great! Let's go straight to the library so we can tell him before school begins!"

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

"It's rare I see you looking so excited to go to school," Sharon noted as she watched her daughter practically vibrate in her chair as she ate.

Harmony finished chewing her food before answering with a broad smile, "I made some new friends."

"That's good to hear, Honey. Just remember, to try and take things slow so you don't scare them off," she warned her, "most people just aren't as energetic as we are."

"Yes, Momma," Harmony replied absently, already planning to get to school early so she could spot them as they came in.

Beta by: Abyssal Angel & Mist of Shadows