Author's Note: Oh boy. Here I go. The elephant in the room...

Manga-verse, written in Usagi's perspective, because, to give her credit, she IS aware that her feelings are wrong. This just goes... a little further than the brief scene in the manga after they first returned from the 30th Century.

This is my attempt to unpack her feelings, hopefully with kindness, and a bit of levity.

A Much-Needed Conversation

"I swear on my life to protect Small Lady..."

"Usako… I'll take charge of Chibiusa…"

Usagi curled deeper into herself on her bed, trying to ignore the persistent pain in her chest. Mamoru's voice haunted her mind, taunting, telling her things she knew were irrational, knew were absurd, and yet… and yet…

At first, Mamoru's bond with Chibiusa only bothered Usagi in a very juvenile sense: someone was taking precious time away from her beloved boyfriend. But slowly, like a terrible poison, her initial envy blossomed into a deadly garden.

"I'm jealous of my own daughter," she whispered to herself, staring into the palm of her hand before clenching it tightly into a fist, as if willing her nails to break her skin, to bleed. "God help me, what's wrong with me?"

A gentle knock on her door jolted her from her reverie.

"Usagi-chan? Can I come in?" It was Minako, her voice muffled by the door, but her tender tone was still the lifeline Usagi needed.

Suddenly, the reality of everything – Mars, Mercury, Jupiter's abductions; Chibiusa's true identity; everyone living to be nearly a thousand years old before the Black Moon's evil destroyed the world – came crashing down over Usagi's ears. The room seemed to tilt with the gravity of all that she had learned, seen, felt in the past twenty-four hours.

With a choked sob, Usagi bolted out of bed, rushed to open her bedroom door, and flung herself into her best friend's arms, wailing incoherently.

If Minako was startled by the storm of emotions thrust upon her, she had the tact to not show it. Gently, she steered her inconsolable friend back into her room, closing the door behind them.

"There, there, Usagi-chan," she cooed, reaching up and plucking the bobby pins from Usagi's buns. "Sit down, take deep breaths for me, okay? That's it, nice and slow…"

She continued to undo Usagi's buns, stepping away only to pick up a hairbrush lying on the vanity desk, returning to sit on her knees on the bed to brush out her friend's long hair. As Minako gently brushed away, Usagi's hysteria began to quiet, her breathing stabilized, her tears drying on her cheeks.

"Wanna talk about it?" Minako asked softly.

"I… Mina-chan, I'm terrible."

"No, you're not."

"What kind of mother is jealous – romantically jealous of her own daughter?!" Usagi sobbed.

"Damn, addressing the dog in the barn that fast, huh?"

"It's 'elephant in the room,'" Usagi muttered with a hiccup that could have been a laugh under different circumstances.

Mina waved her hand, before returning to her work, now focusing on braiding Usagi's hair into two parts. "Whatever. The point is I'm proud of you for directly addressing the problem."

"See? I am the problem here–"

"Don't put words in my mouth, sweetheart. I said the problem, not your problem. The first step to fixing mistakes is admitting to them. And you're not a bad person for feeling that way, Usagi-chan."

"Then, what do you think of me, Mina-chan?" Usagi demanded, whirling part way around and looking into her friend's eyes.

Minako smiled, a knowing mysterious smile, the same kind of smile she donned when she was masquerading as the Moon Princess. "I think you're human. No, let me finish. You're human, Usagi. Human beings are complicated. We're kinda dumb, too, let's be real. Is your jealousy stupid, wrong, even? Sure, but that doesn't make YOU bad. Feelings are feelings. We girls can't help it."

Usgai sniffled, fresh tears pricking the corners of her blue eyes. "Since when did you switch places with Ami for being the smart one?" she mumbled, her throat closing up as she wiped her eyes.

"I'm gonna ignore that jab because you're crying and because you're only human."

The girls giggled, and for a moment were silent, Minako nearly done with the first braid.

"Mina-chan, I don't understand why I feel this way."

"Who can say?"

"B-but, it was bad enough when Chibiusa was just a mysterious girl! Now that I know who she is, that should have made me feel relieved, right?"

"Probably."

"Then, why–?"

"Speaking as your Friendly Neighborhood Goddess of Love, I hate to break it to you, Usagi-chan, but feelings are not rational. That's why they're so addicting. It's easy losing ourselves into them. Trust me, I know."

Minako paused to tie a hair ribbon at the bottom of the first braid before working on the second. Usagi remained patiently quiet, biting her lower lip as she pondered Mina's words.

"The fact of the matter is," Minako continued calmly, "you are the reincarnation of the Moon Princess Serenity. You have regained your past life's memories, and it ended tragically. You lost Endymion to hate, and you almost lost Mamoru recently to Queen Beryl's twisted love, so it's not entirely illogical that the next living thing to bond with Mamoru would fill you with irrational jealousy."

Usagi opened her mouth to protest, but Minako reached around and placed a finger on her lips.

"I'm not condoning your feelings. But I'm also not going to attack you for them, either. I get it. Feelings are complicated. Just try to remember that this is Mamoru we're talking about. Tell me truly, Usagi-chan: do you really think Mamoru, your Mamoru, would willingly be seduced by his daughter? Or God forbid, do the seducing?"

"Of course not!"

"Then, what are your feelings telling you?" Minako returned to her braiding.

"I… I just can't lose Mamoru, Mina-chan, I can't! Not again!"

"Who says Chibiusa will be the cause of his loss?"

"Because… because she…. She loves Mamoru!"

"Lots of little girls have crushes on their fathers."

"Exactly! Oh… oh gods, Mina," Usagi blubbered, "how can I even think that?!"

"Let me ask you something: did you ever think or say when you were young that you wanted to marry your father?"

"I think so. Mama caught it on camera and showed it to me a few years ago. It was so embarrassing!"

"How did your mom react?"

"She thought it was hilarious and adorable. She thought it was the sweetest thing, having a husband who dotes on their daughter."

"Hmmm."

"Mina-chan, the more you ask these questions, the more obvious it is that I am in the wrong, here!"

"Well, of course, you're in the wrong, Usagi-chan," Minako said matter-of-factly, "but that doesn't make you the villain."

"Ack! Stab me in the back next time, why dontcha?!"

Minako laughed, finishing up Usagi's braids and hugging her best friend's shoulders. "Oh, my silly, insecure princess! I'm trying to help you unpack!"

"Unpack?"

"The real reasons you're so jealous. It's not Mamoru's character you distrust, and it seems like you didn't learn anything weird from your parents. I mean, hell, I doubt there was a lolicon rival in your past life, but you never know…"

"Oh, hush!"

They fell into giggles again. After another affectionate squeeze about her friend's shoulders, Minako hopped off the bed to rummage through Usagi's hair accessories. Usagi certainly felt calmer, and most definitely very foolish, but also rather pensive. Why did she feel such intense jealousy towards her future daughter?

"Mina," she said slowly, tentatively, "maybe I just…"

"Hmm?"

"Maybe I just… hate Mamo-chan splitting his attention…between, um, Chibiusa and me…" Usagi trailed off, highly embarrassed, hoping her friend wouldn't chastise her.

"Yeah, I figured as much."

"Eh?!"

"Well, yeah, think about it." Minako turned around, some artificial flowers in one of her hands, as she ticked off the reasons with her other fingers. "One, the whole tragic reincarnation thing blah blah blah. Two, teen girl in love. Three, teen boyfriend has a tendency to be kidnapped and brainwashed by crazy chicks with a crush on him. Four, teenage girl grew up pampered and sheltered and is suddenly thrust into fighting evil, regains her tragic backstory memories, and now has to live with the knowledge that one day she'll become official royalty again, only this time it'll be on Earth, the place that she fell in love in ancient times, but also the cause of her previous life's doom, and –"

"Okay, okay, I get it," Usagi cried, half-laughing, half-blushing.

"Do you, though?" Minako said shrewdly, as she began clipping the flowers into Usagi's braids.

Usagi chewed her bottom lip. The truth was that she definitely felt calmer and more rational about the whole mess in her heart, even if most of the jealousy was now replaced with shame. But still…. Minako had been gentle, understanding, despite all evidence revealing that she deserved otherwise. Usagi suddenly envisioned the other girls here, if they were never abducted, and how they'd react.

Makoto would also have been kind. She knew better than anyone how powerful emotions were, and how blinding love can be. But she also was not the jealous type. She tended to "suffer in silence" due to unrequited love, rather than lash out in a fit of jealousy. Plus, Usagi doubted that Mako would provide the kind of levity that Minako's jokes did. (Granted, she could go for some of Mako's delicious baking right about now…)

Poor Ami would have tried to resolve it logically. She'd probably talk about how it would be physiologically against Mamoru's better judgment to find Chibiusa attractive because of her age and biological connection as his daughter, and that Mamoru did not have any history or symptoms of mental illnesses that would make him a terrible exception to the rules. She would have been, as Minako would put it, "too real," and put an emphasis on the uncomfortable facts surrounding Usagi's turmoil.

Rei, on the other hand? For a brief, terrible moment, Usagi imagined Rei's fiery temper, usually kept under cool restraints due to her spiritual training, unleashed. She involuntarily shuddered.

"I'm glad it's you and not Rei talking to me about this," Usagi mumbled, half-hoping her words wouldn't be heard.

As it so happened, that was not the case, since Minako immediately burst out laughing.

"Ohhhh, I can only imagine Rei's reaction! She's bad enough when Mako-chan and I gush about cute boys. You know how 'superior' she is to all things related to the heart. Should we enlighten her and the girls once we rescue them?" she added with a wicked tone.

"MINA-CHAN! You wouldn't dare–!"

"I'm teasing, Usagi-chan. Your secret is safe with me. Although," Minako said with a more serious voice, "you know you'll have to talk to Mamoru."

"I… I kinda already did."

A pause. Minako fiddled with the last flower connecting Usagi's plaits at the end, waiting.

Usagi took a shuddering breath, and whispered, "It was just before we – we first traveled to the 30th century. I told Mamoru that Chibiusa was obviously in love with him, and that – and that —"

Usagi closed her eyes, tears welling up and threatening to spill. She clenched her fists and blurted out the horrible truth: "And that it didn't matter her age, she's still a woman!"

Minako let out a low whistle. "Oof…. How did Mamoru take that?"

"Oh, you know him. He's kind, so kind. He didn't shame or correct me. He only embraced me and assured me that he loved only me." Usagi was crying again now, wiping her eyes. "He… he held me close, he… he made love to me," she confessed hoarsely, hearing Minako suck in her breath. "After I said that, after I basically admitted that I saw Chibiusa as a romantic rival, after he knew something so awful and ugly was in my heart, and oh, oh, Mina-chan, what did I d-do to deserve that man? How can I still doubt him after that? How can I still – still —"

She couldn't finish her sentence. Her sobs were wracking her body once more. She was vaguely aware of Minako shifting positions and holding her close to her chest, patting her head, and whispering soothing words. Usagi wailed and sobbed and cried her heart out, loathing herself, grateful for Minako's presence, relieved that Mamoru or Chibiusa or her other friends were not present. Of all the people in the world, Sailor Venus seemed to be the best suited companion for this absurd, painful crisis in her heart.

"- gi-chan? Usagi-chan? You still with me? Okay, now wipe your eyes."

With a great heaving breath, Usagi nodded, accepting the handkerchief being offered to her. She blew her nose, sniffled some more, and looked up to see Minako's eyes were overly bright and tender.

"Mina-chan…?"

"Usagi… You need to talk with Mamoru. You can't just sit here and dwell on your feelings while leaving poor Mamoru alone. This is your relationship, your future, that you're trying to save. It's more than just Chibiusa."

It's more than Chibusa…. Yes, yes, that was precisely why her jealousy, of any kind, was so absurdly selfish. Some of the burden on Usagi's shoulders lifted, ironically, at that moment. Somehow, thinking of it that way, it puts things in perspective unlike anything else.

Minako seemed to sense the gravity of Usagi's thoughts, because she followed up with a would-be casual, "I mean, come on, are you really gonna let Fate try to destroy your love again, all because you're projecting your fears and worries onto a 8-technically-900-year-old child?"

The two friends looked at each other and burst out laughing. After her two previous breakdowns, suddenly laughter was dangerously addicting, as Usagi swiftly found herself out of breath, clutching her sides, practically wheezing, tears streaming down her face again, only this time, with mirth. Minako was just as bad, but her grins had a distinct touch of triumphant smugness to them.

Finally, recovered, Usagi hopped out of bed, glancing at her vanity mirror and approving Minako's work of making her look like an innocent, adorable flower girl, and heaved a few deep sighs.

"You're right, Mina-chan. All of it. I may not help my feelings, but that doesn't mean I have to act on them when it means hurting the ones I love. I have to go see Mamo-chan. Cover for me, wouldja?"

"Hold your cats, missy," Minako said sharply before Usagi could bolt out of her room.

("It's 'hold your horses,' Usagi grumbled, but she still obediently halted in her tracks and faced her best friend.)

Minako was rummaging through her purse that she had left on Usagi's vanity table. Then, she tossed a few packets to Usagi, who immediately shrieked and nearly dropped them, gazing at Mina in horror, her face turning redder by the second.

Minako, on the other hand, looked shamelessly unperturbed.

"Listen, sweetie, babygirl, my dearest princess and future queen, I am very proud of you for coming this far in our deep conversation, but if you and Mamoru decide to get down and bone as a way to make up, it's always best to take precautions–"

"M-M-M-MINA-CHAN!"

"Usagi-chan, you literally just confessed to me you're no longer a virgin, this is hardly the time to act like one–"

"THAT– THAT'S NOT THE POINT!"

"Well, let me put it another way: do you really want to conceive Chibiusa now?"

Usagi squeaked something incoherent. Minako plunged on, relentless.

"I'm just saying, girl. Giiiiirl. You've barely gotten over your Inverse Electra Complex Jealousy Mode, and Chibiusa is currently at Mamoru's apartment. It's gonna get real awkward if you get pregnant and have to double down and explain to Mamoru that 'no, Mamo-chan, I swear, I'm not jealous of the fetus inside my womb!'"

"I thought you understood where I was coming from!" Usagi protested, half-laughing through her mortification.

"I do, but that doesn't mean I don't reserve the right to give you a little shit for it." Minako winked, then crossed over the room and hugged Usagi tightly. "We all love you, princess, flaws and all. But it's time for you to own up to your flaws and talk with your boyfriend honestly, the whole thing, no punches held back."

Speechless, Usagi embraced her back, overwhelmed in her half-ashamed, half-mollified state of mind. They squeezed each other, then Minako abruptly let go, spun her around and pushed her towards the door.

"Now, get going and get laid, honey! You'll feel loads better, especially when it's not an angsty session like your first time."

"Mina-chan, if I didn't know any better, I'd say you were speaking from experience —"

"Wow, would you look at the time! You better get going and go get your man before he's asleep!"

AN: So, here's the thing: the entire subplot of Usagi viewing Chibiusa as a romantic rival should not exist. It is the ONE blight on an otherwise gorgeous and damn near perfect manga series. Even the 90's anime is not entirely off the hook, because although it tried to paint a more humorous spin on her jealousy (a sort of "wahhh, don't steal time from my boyfriend!" kind of a deal), it's still clear that there's a distinct female-female competition thing going on which is Awkward™, to say the least.

But hey, nothing's perfect, and critical thinking is important even when consuming the things we love (I would argue especially then). The characters we love can oftentimes be wrong, very, very wrong, but those flaws are part of the reason why we love them so.

To the tiny handful of fans out there willing to unpack this awkward box with me, hope you enjoyed this!