*Christian's POV*
As I stand in front of Ana, I'm getting mixed signals from her. I don't know if it was the right decision to come, but when Sawyer sent me a text telling me that her mother was drunk when she spoke to her earlier on the plane, I couldn't bear to let her deal with it by herself.
"What are you doing here? I thought you had a meeting!"
"Nice to see you too, Ana." Her accusative tone isn't appreciated.
She shakes her head. "I'm sorry, Christian. You just took me off guard." She steps closer, giving me a hug and kiss, and I gladly reciprocate.
"Sawyer said your mother was drunk when you spoke to her earlier. I didn't want you to deal with it alone. I was able to have the telemeeting on the plane."
"Oh Christian, that's very sweet. You've had a long day. Why don't I get Sawyer to take you back to the hotel to rest? I'll meet you there In a few hours."
"What? I'm here to be with you. Why don't you want me here? Are you embarrassed?" She isn't making any sense. The fact that she's dismissing me is pissing me off even more.
"I am, but of my mother. I'm embarrassed of her... of her house and her behavior. It's a disaster in there Christian and I don't want you to see it or her. I'm scared it'll somehow trigger your childhood with Ella and I'm worried it'll scare you away from me." Tears are falling down her face and it's killing me. My previous anger has been replaced with devastation for her.
I pull her close and sway us. "Nothing is going to tear us apart. I want to be here for you. You've dealt with this enough alone. I'm here to say you don't have to anymore. We'll deal with this and decide where to go from here. If she is willing to get help, then we'll get her help. If she's not, then we'll set boundaries and I will help make sure she keeps those."
She squeezes me even tighter for a few beats before releasing my waist. "Okay. But I warn you, it's disgusting in there." I give her a nod, relieved she's allowing me in. I feel like she's letting me see a little part of her past. Just like I will when she sees the playroom. The thought of Escala is an unwelcome one so I push it to the side for now.
When we step in, the rank air hits me hard, but I try to keep my my expression neutral. The living room is just inside the door and looking around, it looks pretty clean. My eyes land on a vacuum by the hall and I realize that Anastasia has probably already done some cleaning. My eyes scan to the left and I see a woman snoring on the couch with her mouth wide open. Her arm is laying off the edge and an empty liquor bottle is resting beside it on the floor. My heart clenches as I look her over. She looks like a more worn, older and thinner Ana. The pain of multiple relationships and alcohol has done a number on the woman, but I won't let that happen to Ana.
"Aaand this is my mother." She throws an arm out to wave toward her and picks up the empty bottle. She takes it deeper into the house and I follow her. She throws it in the already full blue recycling bin sitting on the floor of the kitchen and I watch her shove her hair up in a bun.
"Hello, Mr. Grey."
Realizing Sawyer is sitting at the kitchen table, I give him a nod. "Sawyer."
I watch as Ana turns the tap on to start the dishes. "No, Ana baby. Just come have a seat. Rest your back and feet." Reaching around her to turn the tap off myself, I take her hand. "Come sit with us. I'll order us a pizza or something."
"Yes, I'm hungry. Let's eat... but let's sit on the patio when we do." She has a seat in the chair I pull out for her and I have a seat adjacent to her. I'm thankful for her patio comment because I don't know how easy it would be for us to eat when the house smells like a dumpster.
By the time we eat out back, the sun is setting low in the sky and we head in to check on Ana's mother. When we reach the living room, her mother is sitting up on the couch, holding a cup of coffee in her hand.
"Mom, have you eaten? We have some pizza for you." Ana sits next to Carla and she looks at her daughter for the first time since we've come back in.
"I thought you left." She still sounds drunk and depressed.
"No, we just ate on the back patio." Ana's hand comes out to beckon me closer and I oblige. "Mom, this is Christian, my fiance."
Carla's eyes lift to mine and my breath catches to see Ana's eyes staring back at me. Their resemblance is striking. I see her eyes widen and rake my body up and down. I rub my hand on the back of my neck, actually uncomfortable by her reaction. It feels wrong.
Carla places her coffee on the coffee table and stands, running her fingers through her shoulder length brown hair. She gives me a bright smile and offers me her hand. I take her hand in mine and it feels delicate, cold, and clammy. It's heartbreaking.
"Man, you are one beautiful specimen, aren't you? I can see why Ana is so taken with you. Nice to meet you, Christian. I'm Carla. I'm sorry we have to meet for the first time like this. The house is a mess." Her eyes dart to Ana, like it's her fault. I ease my grip on her hand, but she doesn't let go.
"Mom. You are a mess. Let go of Christian."
Remembering herself, she lets go of my hand.
"Mom, come to the kitchen and eat. You're wasting away. Come sit and talk with me." Her words sting as she says them, reminding me of the situation she was in not that long ago. It had been Hyde's fault then. He damaged her reputation just because she refused to get under him. I wonder if Carla would have done the same or if she would have ended up in a relationship with that monster. I'm thankful that Ana seems to have warning sensors that Carla doesn't seem to have.
Carla's face lights up when Ana offers her a hand for her to take. The small gesture and connection makes Carla look a decade younger. I can see her wanting that close relationship with her daughter, but I don't know if she knows how. There might be too much damage for them to fix it. I want Carla to be happy, but Ana is who I'm invested in. If having a relationship with her mother is going to be damaging, I won't allow Carla to be part of it. I won't let Teddy be part of it, either. Our baby bear doesn't need anyone toxic in his life. We're trying to learn from our trauma, not continue to hand it down to our children.
When we hit the kitchen, Ana and Carla have a seat at the table. Feeling like an intruder, I decide to start on the dishes that I made Ana leave earlier. I don't want to be far from Ana if she needs me, but I want them to be able to have a private conversation. Not that I won't be listening. Seeing a dishwasher, I open it and relieved that it's empty, deciding to rinse the dishes and add them to the machine. The girls are behind me, only five or so feet, so I'm able to keep an ear on them.
"Oh Ana, seeing you pregnant and beautiful like this... it's like looking into a mirror from twenty-two years ago. You look so sweet with your bump." I can hear the emotion in her voice.
"Twenty-three, Mom."
"What?"
"I'm twenty-three. I turned twenty-three this September." My poor, Ana. We spent the whole day having fun and she still went to bed sobbing that night because her mother didn't bother to call or even text her. She doesn't want to admit it most of the time, but her mother has more of a hold on her than she should.
"Oh, Ana, I'm sorry. Where has the time gone?"
"Why did Bob leave?" She quickly changes the subject since her birthday is a sore one.
I hear a sniffle and I take a quick look behind my shoulder to see Ana giving her mother a tissue. "He said I was suffocating him. Damn it, my world was wrapped up in that man and he just left me. I spent every waking moment with him or worrying about how to make him happy, doing what he wanted to do, making his favorite meals and keeping the house perfect just the way he likes it. I entertained for his friends constantly and not once did he care that I didn't have any of my own or that I gave my whole life over to him."
"I'm sorry, Momma. Maybe... maybe this can be a learning experience for you. It's so important to have your own hobbies and friends. You can't depend on a man for happiness. You need to find happiness yourself first. Find some independence. Men don't like women throwing themselves at them... at least not for the long haul. It's only fun for a short time."
"You're barely an adult, Ana. How would you know what men want? You've walked through life with your eyes shut when it comes to men. I've seen men practically trip over themselves to get your attention and you are ridiculously unaware. God, even Ethan!" I tense at his name. He's still a sore subject with me, but I can't tell Ana not to be friends with him. No matter how much I want to. My therapist warned me to leave it alone.
"Mom! No. Don't you dare try to gaslight me. Don't act like you know anything about my relationship with my friends."
"Your blindness about men is going to get you into trouble some day." The way she says it is wrong, but I understand. I worry Ana is going to become prey for another man like Hyde because she is so self-conscious she can't comprehend that men want her. She's beautiful, sassy, and innocent making her a beacon of light for men. But she's mine. I won't allow her to become a victim again.
"In trouble? Christ, Mom. Do you think I'm that stupid? I'm not you! You won't be finding me staring at men that aren't mine! He's the father of your grandchild and your future son-in-law for fuck's sake!"
Looking over my shoulder, I do find Carla staring at my ass. When her eyes meet mine her cheeks color and she looks the other way.
"God, Ana. We really are so different. If it were me I would have probably already gone through Ethan and another man before even getting to Christian." A cup slips through my grasp from my startle. The thought of Ana running through men like that is hard to comprehend. "We might look alike and have the same mannerisms, but I thank God that you are smarter than I am."
"My trauma is just different than yours, Mom. I hate that you feel so unloved that you have to find it in men. I hate that Granny and PopPop didn't give you what you needed as a child. I hate that they disowned you after your affair on Daddy."
She cheated on Ray?
"Cheating was the biggest mistake I ever made, Anastasia. Your grandparents were so disappointed in me. I was disappointed in me. Ray was the best thing that ever happened to me, but I was stupid. I didn't feel like he was spending enough time with me so I wanted to make him jealous. Instead, I drove him away."
"You blamed it on me."
My jaw ticks hearing Ana. I decide to give up on the dishes and have a seat adjacent from Ana, across from Carla. I want to make sure Ana knows she is loved and supported through this.
"I did. I shouldn't have, but I did. Ray worked such long hours and he would come home and spend his evenings with you. I didn't get any attention until we put you to bed."
I reach down and pull Ana's leg toward me. Her other leg follows as I pull it into my lap. Her poor calves and feet are so swollen, it makes my stomach upset. She shouldn't have spent the day cleaning her drunk mother's house. She should be resting. Slipping one of her shoes off, I start trying to rub some of the swelling out.
"I was only a child. You fought with a six year old for attention. When you left with me, you blamed me for your divorce. Then you blamed me for your addiction. You blamed me for everything. Why didn't you just leave me with Dad?"
"Honestly, because it would have made him happy. It would have made you happy. I couldn't bear the thought of you two going on with your lives, pretending as if I didn't exist."
Wow. I run my hand up and down her leg to try to soothe Ana. I don't know if she would have ever thought that would have come out of her mother's mouth.
"You... you were so miserable that you wanted to make everyone else miserable, too? Do you know how fucked up that sounds?"
"I'm well aware, Anastasia. I'm still just as fucked up as I was back then, but now karma has come up to bite me in the ass. After Bob told me I was stifling him, he showed up at the door to let me know he had been cheating on me. Just like I did with Ray. And then he handed me a bottle of vodka. He said he knew how much I loved the bottle when I didn't have a man and hoped he was helping me out."
There's a collective gasp from the two of us. What a douche bag.
"Oh, Mom, no. He didn't!" My sweet girl is crying for her mother.
Carla blows her nose. "I confided in him about my past and he shoved it in my face."
"That must be so painful." Ana takes her hand. "If that is the man he is, then you're better off."
Carla shrugs and watches me work on Ana's feet. "I hope you have better luck than I did."
"There's no luck about it, Carla. It's work. We work on ourselves and we work on our relationship. When we have a problem we talk it out. We communicate and compromise. We make it a priority to not lose ourselves in each other. It's important that Ana has her own identity and does the things she likes. The same with me. It's not healthy, otherwise. We're learning that in therapy. We won't let our trauma ruin us. I don't want your trauma to ruin you either. I don't know what's going to happen between you and your daughter's relationship, but I can't have her continuing to clean up after you and your addiction. I'm sure that Ana will be willing to work things out if you're willing to go to rehab and start therapy."
Carla's eyes are as big as saucers, but Ana is giving me an appreciative smile.
"Rehab? I can't afford that! I can't leave-"
"We'll take care of the cost. You can leave. There is nothing anchoring you to this place. If you want to stay in Savannah, then we'll make sure the house is cared for. There is nothing, but your own unwillingness to change keeping you from going."
"Why? Why would you do this for me? I don't want to be a burden. It's so expensive-"
"Mom, don't worry about the money. It is no burden."
I nod. "Ana's right. You are her mother. The reason she's alive and in my life. Anastasia means the world to me and her family is my family. She's my number one priority and if helping you gives her some relief and closure, then I'll do it. Just know I'm doing this for Ana and our son. If you hurt either of them, then I'm done. Ana and I will pull our support and you'll be on your own."
Carla picks at her pizza while she chews on her lip. Ana is doing the same with her lip. I'm actually entertained by this. I didn't grow up in a house where genetics were a thing. Seeing Ana and her mother... how they moved, their facial expressions, the way they tuck their hair behind their ear even when there isn't anything to tuck... it shows just how far genetics go. I wonder if Carla's mother had the same mannerisms.
"I... I don't know. I have to think about it."
Her answer pisses me off.
"Okay. Think about it and get back to us. I need to get Ana back to the hotel so she can rest. She's overworked herself trying to clean your mess of a house because you can't manage to be a functioning adult. Go to bed sober and when you get up, clean this shit hole up. Then think long and hard about your life and if your addiction to liquor and men are worth losing your daughter and grandson over." I slip Ana's flats back on her and help her stand. "Come on, baby, you need rest."
Reaching into my pocket, I pull out my card and place it on her table. "We're staying at the Westin until Monday. My numbers on the card."
Once we hit the living room, we tell Sawyer we're ready to head back and we leave. Carla doesn't bother to get out of her seat in the kitchen. I pray for Ana's sake that she doesn't find another bottle of liquor tonight.
*Ana's POV*
Christian opens our hotel room door for us and I throw my handbag down on the couch beside his luggage. His driver must have dropped it off.
Turning, I see him watching me with his hands in his pockets. I slide out of my shoes and make my way towards him, feeling swollen, sore, emotionally raw, and pitiful. He knows what I need and engulfs me in his arms as I wrap my own around him. "Thank you for coming. I needed you."
"Oh, angel. I've got you. I'll always have you."
"I know I could have dealt with her by myself, but I'm glad I don't need to. I'm glad you're here to center me, but I hate to put that on you." I don't want to put any more responsibility on him.
"Stop that. You lean on me and I lean on you. That's how this works. We face things together."
I nod into his chest. He's right. I would never want him to feel guilty about him needing me for anything either.
"You told her we'd be here until Monday." I have work.
"We will. You need time to relax. I told GP that we had a family emergency here in Savannah and won't be back until Tuesday, the earliest."
I look up at him and rest my chin on his chest. "Are you holding me captive, Christian Grey?"
He wiggles his eyebrows, making me giggle.
"I need a shower." I feel disgusting. "Then cookies and milk and a movie in bed."
Christian's laugh resonates in his chest as I squeeze him. "Sounds perfect, baby. Can I join you in the shower?"
I giggle and release him. "It's funny you think you get a choice. Clothes off, Grey. I'll get the shower ready." I make my way through the bedroom and see that they've already turned down the bed and shut the curtains, our chocolate chip cookies and pitcher of milk sitting in ice on the tray in the center of the bed. "Oh, yum. Let's hurry." I can't wait to get my hands on my Christian and those cookies.
As we stand in the shower, I find myself clinging to him, just wanting to be close. The long day mixed with my hormones are causing me to be so needy.
Christian laughs. "I can't wash your front of you don't let go."
I pout. "Your pregnant girl needs cuddled."
He rubs his hands up and down my back. "I know, angel, and I will. We need to get cleaned up so you can rest."
"Oh, fine." I release him and stand there, letting him wash me, but my hands find their way over his chest and abdomen, just needing the connection. I decide to grab the body wash and put my own hands to good use so we can be done and curled up in bed.
Soon, we're both clean and we dry off. I head to my bag to find my pajamas, but squeal when Christian picks me up and carries me back to bed.
"Clothes are overrated, Ana."
"Watch your shoulder!" I am way over the limit he has been carrying and I don't want him to hurt himself.
He deposits me in bed and I swipe a cookie from the plate before he can even have a seat next to me.
"My shoulder is fine." I cock my eyebrow at him, but too busy shoving my face full of cookie to respond. "I'm so glad I requested extra cookies. God, I love watching you eat."
I see him standing at attention and I roll my eyes at him. He moves the the tray to the bedside table long enough to cover us up and pour our milk. I'm appreciative that he ignores the fact that he's hard cause I'm too exhausted. He seems to be aware of that and it makes me love him even more.
When we finish and I drink the rest of my milk, I relax back against the headboard with a sigh. "It was so nice to eat my feelings after everything that happened today."
He gives me a sweet smile and wipes at my top lip, where I must have had a milk mustache. "You deserve a treat, Ana. Let's cuddle up and watch TV. My brain is still in overdrive."
I nod. It sounds wonderful. We curl up together and I place his hand on my belly, where our son seems to be doing cartwheels.
"Seems like Teddy liked the treat, too." He kisses my nose. "I hope he doesn't keep you up all night on a sugar high."
"I'm so tired tonight, I don't think I'll care." I nuzzle into his chest and press his lips to one of his scars. I wish I could kiss them away.
"You sure you're okay, Ana?"
I sigh. "Just pregnant and mopey. Thank you so much for being here. I'd probably still be crying into my pillow if you weren't. Thank you for knowing what I needed, even when I didn't."
"I wanted to support you, Ana. It hurt thinking I couldn't be here for you. I needed it just as much as you did."