Chapter 32

A/N: For those who aren't in the Discord, I made some light edits to the previous chapter two days after I posted it. Parts of it in the latter half (mostly stuff to do with Jack's perspective) just didn't sit right with me after a night's sleep. After a surprise and unexpected free day I think I was too overzealous in trying to get a finished product out before hitting the rack.

If you read the thing the day I released it, you can go re-peruse and spot the changes if you feel like it. And if not? Eh. It's a free country.

Being depressed sucks.

Scraggy unshaven hairs graze against the pillow as I turn about in bed. I'm not even sleepy. The sun's still high in the sky. I'm just...tired of everyone looking at me. Tired of the way they ponder me. Wondering what I'm hiding.

'Monarch Killer' Jack Parker.

Stupid name. Dumb name. I don't care if it's syllables are smooth to the ear. In a world of epithets like "Knight of the Sea", "Red Flag", and "Massacre Soldier" being named 'Monarch Killer' is just so...bleh.

I sighed morosely. 'I'm just complaining to complain. That's not even the part I'm upset over.'

They got my name right. 'Monarch Killer' Jack Parker.

Not Sparrow.

Tales of Jack Sparrow are still spreading through word of mouth in the communities of South Blue. Though his face isn't widely known, his name is. Sparrow and his trusty steed always on the move! Bane to pirates everywhere! Friend of the marines! Fights for the people! All that well-intentioned goody two-shoes hero crap.

This new Jack Parker fellow though...well I'm sure you've already read the article. Everyone else in the world has. Jack Parker is a Cipher Pol agent gone rogue. He's turned against the government. He brutally assassinated a King who was in good-standing. Even his bounty picture just screams shady and untrustworthy.He's a traitor in every sense of the word. Maybe if the world's lucky, Sparrow will come along and take care of this turncoat too. That would certainly be what he deserved.

My mood dips again. Just to make it all the worse I'm pretty sure 99% of the Marines are going to believe it. Why wouldn't they? Only the highest most tip top pieces of the World Government would know it's a lie. A convenient story to sell the public. Everyone who's Vice-Admiral and down? They wouldn't even question it. 'Some guy running about using rokushiki? He's ex-Cipher Pol you say? Well that makes sense to me.'

It's actually kind of funny. In a bleak, depressing sort of way. I finally accept the 'Jack Sparrow' persona, started calling myself that, started thinking of myself as that, and now I'm going to face nothing but uphill battles in convincing others that's who I am. I've got no Super Sparrow as proof... the world's seen a bounty poster with my face that says I'm not...

I turn up to stare at the ceiling. 'I wonder if Mori knows yet'. Do they get news in that training program he's in? It was supposed to be pretty secluded. Oh no...what if he gets kicked out for being associated with me? Or for trying to speak out in my defense once he sees the bounty poster? What if he loses his whole career over this? Or gets reassigned to somewhere high-risk? He and his wife have another kid on the way.. 'These thoughts are the last thing I need on my conscience...'

I reopen the windows I've kept minimized over the last two days. Staring at them again as though I'll suddenly be motivated to actually do something with them.

But no...their pale blue screens don't stir anything in me. Just boredom. Or maybe apathy.

You have reached Lv. 87!

You have 460 points to spend!

I gaze at the text with lazy eyes. Completing the 'One Billion Beri' [Quest] had been my goal for months. I bled for it. I based major decisions around it. And now that Mengsk was officially handed over and I reaped all the rewards...I feel nothing but disinterest.

So many points... and I just couldn't care less right now.

I turn to the second window.

It's no better. The only difference is instead of apathy I feel a whisper of annoyance. 'I hate cryptic bullshit.'

LUK (77) → (102)

Congratulations! You have reached 100 in LUK!

Please select one of the following [Perks].

1. [Blessing of Heaven]

User's body will be re-calibrated to allow greater integration with local universe Systems outside of the [Game].

2. [Enemy of The Gods]

User's body will be re-calibrated to allow greater integration with local universe Systems outside of the [Game].

There's a knock at the door and I put the windows away with a sigh and a dismissive wave. When no answer of 'come in' sounds the door creaks open and George slips in with a smile and a food tray in hand. "Hello Jack." he greets warmly. "I thought I might bring you something. We didn't see you at lunch today. Or anytime else for that matter."

I offer a slight gesture of acknowledgment. I'd much rather just continue to be left alone...but there's no arguing with George. The guy's just too damn nice. His soft spokenness combined with that plain goofy lookin' giraffe hat he's always wearing...it's hard to not at least crack a smile. He really makes this brooding in my room thing difficult.

The bowl of stew is set on the small bedside table. "Have you given any thought to Bunny's proposal?" he gently inquires. "I know the last few days have been weighing on you, but it'll be healthy to think of the future for a bit don't you think?"

My tiny crack of a smile falls away, something George notices but doesn't comment on.

I have thought about it.

Bunny Joe doesn't much like me. Not at all really. I can see that much plain as day hiding behind his business obsessed tones. But he does think the R.A. can make use of me. Point me at problems that require a blunt tool in making them go away. To use his own words from a few days ago, a 'sledgehammer' instead of a 'scalpel'.

I've also got the impression he thinks just because they picked me up that I'm going to naturally fall in with them and join their little group. Newly famous Jack Parker, freshest recruit to the Revolutionary Army.

Well fuck that. Just because I'm a wanted man now doesn't mean I'm gonna spend my new life toppling regimes or spurring on militia's. Every word I gave to Lindbergh when we spoke over the Den-Den-Mushi is still valid. Those opinions haven't changed.

Seeing my silence not ending anytime soon, George nods a silent farewell and departs from the cramped little cabin. With him gone I decide to turn my attention to the only thing that seems to grant me any engagement over these past two days.

Deciphering this insufferable Poneglyph page that's been sitting in my journal.

We xexxe thxx xx x rexxrd tx thxxe whx xxxxxw. The xxttxe xx 681, xxxx kxxwx xx xxxrxxx'x xxxxxxre, xx whxt xxxxxxy txxxed the xxxxxxe xx the wxr xwxy xrxx xxr xrext xexexxxtxr. xxthxxxh xxxerxxxxxy xt wxx x xrxxhxxx dexext xxr xxr exexxex, txxtxxxxxy xt wxx we whx were the xxxerx. The xhxxexxx xxd xxxxxdxx txxtxxx xx the xxxxxxxe xxw thexr xrxy rxxted, xxt thexr xxxx xxxxexxxxx. xxxexdxx wxx xxw xxxt. xxd wxth xt xxxe the xexxxxxxx xx xxr exd.

I picked up the third installment of 'Reading the Ancient Language' as my final reward of the completed [Quest], passing up the other two 'mystery box' prizes of a Reject Dial and a packet of research notes discussing the relationship between Zoan Fruits and inanimate objects.

So far I can't say I'm satisfied...though really what was I expecting?

I unlocked the letters 'D', 'J', 'K', 'R', and the ability to recognize 'Numbers'.

I glimpsed over the page again and grumbled. 'This is ridiculous. 11 letters unlocked now and I can still barely make out any of it. What does a guy have to do to buy another vowel?' 'R' is pretty useful. And 'D' has a few appearances here and there. But 'J' and 'K' are just worthless. 'K' appears a single time and 'J' doesn't appear at all! Numbers...I didn't even know I had to unlock numbers. I guess I can try to muster up at least some pleasure in knowing it's out of the way but that's about it.

If I had my old computer I could probably make something out of this. Or better yet maybe find a program who could do it for me. As I lay here now though..I'm really not making any meaningful progress.

I close the journal and place it safely back in storage. My head hits the pillow again and I force my eyes shut despite the sunlight still drifting in.

Maybe I'll feel better in a few hours. Or tomorrow.

Somehow I doubt it.

Nighttime

My eyes shoot open.

Tingles are crawling down my back. Every sixth sense is shivering in alarm. It's like that feeling you get where -despite the silence- you just know there's a burglar downstairs in your house.

That's when I notice it. The ship is no longer moving. The waves are completely still.

A pop-up window appears.

Its text style is wrong.

'Oi. Get up mopey.'

I don't even have time to properly stare at it. Before my mouth even gets open a second message overlays it.

'We should have a talk.'

And then a third.

'I'm in the galley.'

At a different point in my life.. I might've bolted out the door without so much as putting my socks on. Today though... today such a message inspires anything but haste. It causes a nervous swallow. It causes sweaty palms. But definitely not haste.

I'm slow to get dressed. Taking time to get every button and little thing right. Stepping outside my speed to meet the messenger lowers further. Every R.A. member still awake is stock-still. Paused in mid-step. The ocean around us is still moving, the salt breeze is still blowing, but the ship and it's sails don't react. The boat and everyone aboard are effectively frozen in time.

Uneasy steps make it downstairs. A part of me considers not even opening the door but a stronger part knows I mustn't stop. Trepidation fills me as I push past the final barrier labeled 'Mess Hall' and find a mostly dark room where a single lamp is shining overhead one table near the middle.

Under its yellow light sat a man in a midnight black suit with a cartoonishly bulbous head. A puffy white neckerchief obscured his neck and both his mustache and hair were somehow even darker shades than his clothes.

Above his head sat a name.

Just a name.

No title. No level.

Tomato Gang

"Ah Jack! There you are! Come in, come in!" The man spoke with a cheery wave and mouth in mid-chew. "Hope you don't mind if I eat," A knife sawed back and forth as he cut into a steak. "Haven't really had a chance to sit down since breakfast."

His body language was disarming..but if anything that only made it all worse.

"Oh come now, there's no need to look like you're gonna piss yourself." he cordially japed as I delicately took a seat. "Here try the garlic potatoes," He gushed, shoveling a scoop onto a plate that was suddenly just... there... in front of me. "They're absolutely marvelous."

"Wh..." the words got stuck in my throat and I swallowed. "Wh...what's happening right now..?"

Tomato Gang took a moment to finish chewing and wiped his mouth with a cloth napkin. "Now now." he chided. "Don't be silly. I think you know exactly what's happening right now. I'm the guy. Like the guy. Speaking of which, let's go ahead and update that [Quest] that has me on it. I'll get you a replacement reward later."

Ding!

A Quest Has Been Updated!

Quest: Save Bartholomew Kuma. Never before has the phrase 'easier said than done' been so appropriate.

Reward: 10 instant Level Ups, +200 LUK, and a meeting with the [Admin].

[UPDATE]: You got nudged. Your meeting is right now.

I stared.

I stared at that text for a long long time.

Longer than was probably polite.

Eventually though, "..what does it mean when it says I got 'nudged'?"

"Mmm!" Tomato moaned as he sipped from a glass of purple wine. "We'll get to that in a second. Here Jack you really have to try this. It's magnificent." he insisted as he poured me a cup. "I duplicated it directly from Sweet Commander Smoothie's private stock. The quality is simply impeccable. You'll never taste a better vintage I swear. I wanted to ask first how you're enjoying the [Gamer] system. Are my tweaks causing you any problems?"

"...tweaks?" I squeaked.

Tomato went back to carving his steak. "Well I stripped away a lot of the core foundations. Reworked a good bit of the programming." he spoke between bites. "Gamer's Body and Gamer's Mind just make things so boring. I did give you five lives as compensation though. I thought it a fair trade."

An exasperated yet cheerful half-smile took over the corner of his mouth."And wasn't that a trick and a half to get right, let me tell ya. Getting the localized time-reversal bubble to work in the manner I wanted it too..yikes my friend. Just. Yikes. My first few models were total disasters. Do you know how astronomically tricky it is to rewind a tiny fraction of a universe and not have the rest of it completely lose its shit? Then getting it to only trigger at your death? Pff- whew. Now that was a challenge."

"Why..I mean..why would you pick-"

He swallowed a bite. "Pick you?" he asked with a gestured finger. "That's always the first question isn't it? Well I'll tell you same words I told the fellows I dropped off in Pallet Town and Westeros. I picked you up when you died for the same reason one fiddles with a rubber band left out on a table. Or the reason a person squashes a bug that happened to be walking by their shoe. The same reason you pick trash up off the sidewalk to throw it away or the reason you last second change what you're going to order at a restaurant."

Tomato gesticulated with arms wide and laughter in his throat, even as he continued to chew. "Whims. Impulses! Fleeting moments of caprice. There's no master plans or grand schemes. Just whims. Whims of a bored individual who's existed for frankly too long."

He comes down off his figurative soapbox and starts wiping the leftover sauce on his plate with a finger. "I don't watch you all the time by the way. In case that's something you were worrying about. I just pop in and look every once in a while. Sometimes with whole months in between. Gotta say kid, you certainly are a hoot. Last time I poked my head in you were snubbing that Mr. 6 fellow's offer. Gave me a chuckle. Really good stuff."

"Are.." The question gets caught. "Are you some kind of..of god?"

"Pfft-" Tomato spurts a laugh into his drink. "A god? No. No no. I'm just a little higher up the chain than you are. I'm like the 'Q' to your Jean-Luc Picard. Every universe has a few hidden ways of ascending to the next rung. I was just fortunate enough to stumble ass half-backwards into one of mine. I originally came from a variant of 'DC'. Grew up in Blüdhaven. Thought you may have figured that one out when I programmed that little 'Speed Force' joke into one of your [Perk]'s. Have to always remember your origins right? If you want to talk gods, go find a priest. But me? No. No no no no."

My chin rests over my hands as I try to keep a level focus. Questions. So many questions and trains of thought that I don't know what to ask first or even what to say. Pertinent. I need to ask what's most pertinent. That has to come first.

"Can we..go back to why you're showing yourself? Why now after.."

"Ah yes." Tomato sat up straight and tidied away some of the mess around him. "Time for the real talk then. I'll warn you now to brace yourself my boy. You're really not gonna like this." he breathes in. "Question! Who is the main character of what you know as 'One Piece'?"

My brow furrows. Is this a trick? Everyone knows that answer. "Luffy."

"Correct!" he announces. "Monkey. D. Luffy. He's a good kid with a lot of heart. Really something special. Even when you're able to bounce around certain pieces of the multiverse like I am, you just don't see many like him. It doesn't surprise me that my 'opposite' has grown so obsessed with the boy. Unhealthily obsessed really. If you can keep a secret it's actually a bit disconcerting."

"Your..what?"

"My opposite." Tomato repeats. "Well, ehhhh, perhaps that's not the best term. It's not like one of us is good and the other evil or any silliness like that. There's just two of us active on this world. A key part where we differ though is, in addition to having way more 'irons in the fire' around the various planes than he does, I am far more of a 'hands off' kind of guy. Once I release someone somewhere, I just let 'em go. Free will all the way baby. I don't manipulate. Or maneuver events. Or try to control the changes. And I don't nudge."

The familiar word has my eyes narrow.

"Question two!" Tomato's finger raises high. "In the variant of 'One Piece' that you read and enjoyed, the variant the man named Eiichiro Oda has knowledge of in your origin plane, who is always present in every arc? Not a main character. Not an antagonist. But someone who's always lurking about -watching- in the background as the story unfolds?"

A bit of disbelief slips onto my face. "Are you..." Incredulity infects my words. "This isn't a prank is it? You can't possibly be referring to...Pandaman?"

"I am." Tomato chortles to himself, though this time the laugh is dry and absent of mirth. "A panda for a head. How patently absurd. I still can't get over it. Then again, my form while in this dimension has a skull shaped like a bulbous tomato so hey maybe he laughs at me the same way."

My visitor recenters himself. "Pandaman and I have an..odd..relationship. We don't necessarily dislike one other but we certainly are not friends. Especially since he owes me money. We mostly let the other one stick to their own projects and do our best not to interact. If it helps you can think of it as a 'non-aggression pact' of sorts. There's a reason I inserted you well before 'The Straw Hat's' journey began. If you had shaken up the world and sent a few butterfly ripples out then Pandaman wouldn't have sat down in this variant to once again watch his 'favorite movie' play out. He would have seen the changes and simply gone elsewhere."

"Wait. But that doesn't make.. I was out hunting bounties well before-"

"Jack you did nothing for a year." Tomato interjects. "I'm not mad at you for it. As I said earlier, free will's kind of my thing. But what kind of [Gamer] sits in the tutorial area for a year? Even for someone of my advanced years, that was a new one." Tomato blows his lips out for a moment and then strokes his chin. "Best I figure it.. it was probably the time-reversal involving Eustass Kid that first alerted him to your presence. Until that moment he likely had no idea you -and by extension me- were in play here. Starting then he likely started keeping tabs on you. A potential disruptor to his favorite film. Monkey D. Luffy's grand adventure."

My eyebrows continued to deepen in thought. "I still don't get it...if all he wants to do is, to use your term, "watch his favorite movie" in a One Piece world that doesn't have outside influence..why doesn't he just pack up and go to one? You said he would have left had he noticed any ripples."

Tomato leaned back in his chair and outright guffawed. As though my words weren't perfectly reasonable. "Haha ha no siree. That won't happen. Panda doesn't operate like that. He's stubborn. More stubborn than anyone you've ever met, trust me on that. He thought this world was available when he set up shop two weeks before 'Romance Dawn' and no amount of words or argument will convince him he wasn't the first one here. He sees me -well you really- as the aggressor here. It's why I decided to break my typical pattern and set up this informal little chit chat. Believe me, this is very much outside of my normal way of doing things. It just wouldn't have been fair if you didn't receive warning. Especially with where this ship is currently heading."

My head tilts, "Where it's heading?"

For the first time in the conversion my benefactor looks a bit disappointed at me. "Jack," he speaks somewhat sternly. "Are you about to tell me that you've been so busy being sad in your room that you haven't learned where this vessel's final berth is once its finished doing supply runs around East Blue?"

Evidently my face gives away the answer because he pushes through with exasperation. "Tequila Wolf. A name that should hopefully ring familiar to you as it's where-"

My eyes have widened. "..where Kuma blasts Nico Robin."

"Precisely. Now if you thought the first nudge to get you out of the way was bad, you really don't want his full attention by interacting directly with a Straw Hat. Even if Panda's methods are only ever to act indirectly through others. Have some unsolicited advice. Stay far far away from her." Tomato laughs to himself again and then shrugs. "Or don't. Up to you really. I'm not your parent."

There's that damn word again. "What do you mean by nudge though! What are we even talking about!"

Tomato looks at me with mild pity and a small frown. Like one would at a child that just doesn't understand. "Jack.. Eustass Kid is required for 'One Piece' to play out the way Panda likes it to. And you had a grudge, a plan, and a method of transport that even now could still reach Sabaody on time if you were motivated enough. Do you really think that Rosenwald made that shot? One metal pellet against an animal of Kiwi's size? Now your pet was flying low. And he was flying slow. Those didn't help. But did you still not consider the oddity that that single shot fired was perfect? As though somehow something decided to nudge that bullet?"

Foreign System Detected In User!

My chair clatters to the ground as a glistening black sheen erupts over my arms! "Woah, woah, easy there kiddo." Tomato subtly rears back at the outburst. "Easy now. I warned you that you weren't gonna like this. Now put the Haki away. Even at your novice level that shit is not a toy. And are still getting pop-ups every time it activates? I'll make sure to disable that for you once I'm gone."

Hot angry breaths pass through my nostrils as the sudden rage ebbs away. I remain standing for a few more seconds as I force myself to calm down. The dark coloring of my arms slowly fades one splotch at a time and I turn to slowly pick up my chair.

Tomato sits patiently as he waits for me to settle, a carefree smile still in place. "Are we better then? All calmed down? Good. Now if we can move on to something pleasant I do have a little something for you." he reaches into the innards of his coat. "Now it's not really much. Just an amusing trinket really. It certainly won't replace the companion you lost. But seeing as how you've been running about using a certain famous bootlegger's name, I thought you might get some good use out of it."

A tiny metal box was tossed at my unprepared hands. Through quick reflexes I manage to snag the thing by its lanyard...and then my mouth drops.

He didn't..

He did..

I almost don't need to use [Observe] on the thing..

I do anyway.

Jack Sparrow's Compass

It doesn't point North. It points to whatever the holder wants most in this world.

"Mmm, yes I thought you'd enjoy that." Tomato speaks at my gobsmacked expression. The man rises to his feet and begins straightening his outfit. "Well now, seeing as that's all done I'm afraid I must be on my way." he offers a warm genial smile. "Jack, 'twas a pleasure. You're a good lad. Keep that chin up. And please don't think me unkind when I say I very sincerely doubt that we will ever speak again." With a simple wave the assorted dishware on the table blinks away. "Before I go, I'd say I have time for two," he glances at a brass pocketwatch. "Ohhh, perhaps three questions. If you can make them quick that is. Chop chop."

There's no time to ponder, I just spit out the first thing that populates in the brain. "What's the big secret of the Void Century? What actually happened?"

Tomato chuckles fondly. "Oh come now Jack. I'm not going to tell you that! That'll spoil all the fun and you know that. Try to keep the questions reasonable. Better hurry though," he gestures to the timepiece. "Clock's a tickin'."

My eyes dart back and forth as my mind races. After a moment I turned my head up and met his gaze. "What does LUK actually do?"

"Ooo. Good question, not so good timing. It does a lot of things really. I'm afraid there's no time to really dig into it. Though I think of its many effects you'll find this one quite interesting. Whenever a Devil Fruit user dies, be it in battle or peacefully in their sleep, the LUK score of those around them directly affects the percentage chance of the Fruit reincarnating near rather than far."

There's a bead of silence and he peeks once more at the pocketwatch. "Well...if that's it then," he starts to turn.

"Can you.." I stop him and then pause. I bite nervously at my lip. He didn't answer my first question. I'm not sure if this one would break the same rules. I don't want to waste the chance..but still.. "Can you... tell me how the Wano arc finished? I was just getting to the good bits of it when I..you know..."

Instead of the immediate shutdown of question one Tomato instead turns contemplative, turning his head up and glancing at a corner of the ceiling. "Hmm...that's a lot.." he murmurs to himself. "...though then again you don't actually realize it's a lot...so that actually works a bit in your favor...mmm..." he makes a wishy-washy gesture to himself. "Oh what the heck? Sure thing kiddo. Brace yourself. It's big."

With a flourish of his wrist he reaches out and pokes me in the forehead.

There's a localized glow, similar to when I consume a [Skillbook] and then knowledge comes crashing in.

His gentle touch becomes just strong enough to push and my chair and I go tilting backwards. The influx of new things in my head has me unprepared and off kilter and with flailing arms I fall victim to one of the oldest pranks of all time.

My back hits the deck and I quietly loose a low groan. I tilt my head up to look at...and he's already gone.

A subtle jerking motion felt through through the deck alerts me that the ship is moving again. Unfrozen from whatever supernatural effect it was under. A quiet snore in the corner alerts me to a man I hadn't previously even noticed and I lower my neck back down to just stare at the ceiling and think.

I may have laid on that floor for a good seven or eight minutes. Just staring...and thinking.

Objectively speaking...my situation hasn't actually improved all that much. I'm still a wanted man with a bounty of over 200 million on his head. A fortune that many no doubt are going to try and claim. The world probably hates me. Some who I used to call friend might even be included in that. Plus, apparently I'm on the shit-list of a quasi-deity-like gag character. So that's less than ideal.

But oddly though...despite those facts...I actually feel a lot better. Things aren't so bad. As an old cartoon jackalope once said, "You've still got a body. Good legs and fine feet. Get yer head in the right place and hey your complete."

With my first real smile of the past 48 hours I close my eyes and start to review all the new knowledge just sitting there in my brain.

"So wait, all the dinosaurs in Kaido's crew are Dragon-Dragon Fruits but the one guy who's an actual dragon is Mythical Fish-Fish?"

I shook my head, putting my hand over my eyes and letting out a large boisterous laugh at the sheer ridiculousness of it.. "I don't care if it's a Magikarp into Gyarados folklore thing. That's just so stupid."

I come down off the laughing fit and slowly rise to begin dusting myself off. "Alright then," I asked to myself. "What's next?"

A/N 2: Some will love this chapter. Some will hate it. Either way, this was always the plan. Now remember kids. Drink lots of water. Always double tap the enemy. Brush your teeth before bed. And if you leave a negative review as a 'guest', you're a coward.

TTFN. Ta Ta For Now.