Chapter 1
Snapping fingers was a sound she had got used to.
And this also applied to constant whistling and clicking, and a modest amount of - very offensive - nicknames.
Deal with it, little girl. - she was told. - Isn't this is what you're her for, huh?
Get me another beer, over there.
Is this soy milk? Argh, forget it… I've got stuff to do.
I'm still waiting. Don't force me to call your boss, or you'll be fired.
It was all so damn recursive and unchanging, but she'd got used to it all, and she was finally able to handle that.
It's too hot! Did you make it yourself?
Who the hell did teach you?
It's cold… damn, give me another, and try to bring it hot this time.
God, be careful! You're at work.
That all always felt like a thousand pieces of glass.
Wild splinters coming from everywhere, hitting her way hard, breaking her from the inside.
Tearing her apart, and giving her no time to recompose.
And making a loud noise; the same noise of glasses crushing on the floor.
Then someone shouted, covering that noise completely.
"Rachel, what did you do?"
A very tall figure was now standing in front of her.
All well-dressed, as usual. Probably ready to go out with his new girlfriend, she thought.
A woman was indeed standing beside of him.
She was tall as well, way taller than me, she thought again - not that it would take much.
She was wearing an expensive dress, making a luxurious light out of the one the chandelier above her was reflecting.
Though, it was not as luxurious as the one reflecting in her cold, light blue eyes.
She glanced at Rachel, lifting her chin a bit up, and furrowing her mouth - as she usually did, before referring to her partner and saying 'I am waiting for you out.', then leaving the place, keeping a perfect standing straight position.
She clearly didn't like Rachel that much.
Was it because of her clearly inferior social status? Probably.
Did the fact that she was younger than her bother the woman? Definitely.
Mr Davis caught her gaze and allowed her to go out. 'The car's waiting, darling. Just get in.', he had said.
"I truly am mortified, Chris. She still hasn't learnt." He added, yet this time he was looking at Rachel.
"She's a mess!" The other man stated. "What are you doing still here? Go get a broom and a cloth, and clean this shit over here." He spit at her, with total disregard. "Why don't you just fire her? She'll make you loose all of your clients." He added, putting a hand on his friend's shoulder. "She's pretty, at least. Appearances are important, my friend, and so are impressions." He winked, then got closer. "Some men may enter your way just to get into her panties."
He laughed loudly, sliding a hand into his back pocket and pulling his wallet out. "How much's the beer?" He asked.
Mr Davis half smiled, and patted his hand on the man's shoulder. "It's on me." He just said, then greeted the man and walked back.
The door suddenly shut behind her, closing immediately.
Rachel gasped and turned around.
Her boss was standing in front of her, again. And this time he was wearing a very annoyed face - not that disappointed yet still kind look of his.
"I— I've got everything I need to…" she paused. "Can I go back there and clean that mess I've made?" Rachel asked, gasping and trying to avoid the man's eyes.
"I'm letting you work here despite no one being satisfied with your service." He started, arms crossed and eyes stuck on her. "Things must change, Rachel, or else I'll have to fire you for real."
She could feel the misty eyes she was getting - another reason to keep staring at her own feet.
"I know you've been through a lot. And you're young, full of energy to work at night… I need you, but mostly, I need to put more effort in what you do." He got closer, and Rachel eventually looked at him, not even caring about the tears that may fall down.
"You need to focus more on what you're doing. I really don't wanna fire you, Rachel." He gently caressed her cheek. "Your shift is over, for today. You can go home." He said, retiring his hand.
Rachel laid the broom on the wall and left the wet cloth in a bucket full of water and cleanser. Then looked at the man's eyes again, but this times she found him looking down.
"Goodbye, Mr Davis." She whispered, and just left.
She walked heavily towards the door, wishing to get out of there as soon as she could.
"Rachel," she heard, stopping herself in front of the door.
"Please, get some rest. See you at 6.00 am."
She didn't even turn around, she just nodded and hurried up to the exit.
She jumped in the driver seat of her car - still that old, dirty-black Toyota her dad gave her on her 17th birthday - and shut the door behind her.
Her hands on the steering wheel, and she broke into tears.
That's not what we need, Miss Berry. You're just… not enough.
Great voice, Miss Berry, but… you lack on dancing, and this show's all about dance. Not for you, what a pity.
That was too emotional… you're not professional, Miss Berry. Not at all.
Students coming from NYADA usually are.
She had tried. Really.
She really wanted to make it. She had been dreaming of becoming a star her entire life.
Just go figure out that she was nothing but a little schoolgirl, still believing in her schoolgirl's fantasies.
She could really feel the pain. She was broken, completely.
She looked tired all the time.
She looked lost, with no escape from the beautiful mess that was her head.
She had learnt how to control it.
How to manage to keep the screams down, to hold tears back.
She had got rather good at it, now.
But she used to control it better, when she was not alone.
