Chapter Three
It's been five days since I saw Edward and I've been able to think of little else. My days are filled with thoughts of that evening while my nights are plagued by emerald eyes, white t-shirts and black ink on toned arms. I try to push the thoughts from my mind, try to focus on other things, but he always creeps back in, like smoke under a closed door.
It's Christmas Eve and I'm hanging out with my parents in the living room, watching some Christmas movie on TV. Mom and Dad have been pretty quiet about my evening with Edward, only asking if I was alright. I was kind of surprised they didn't want more details, especially considering they knew how things ended the last time I'd seen him.
I desperately want to ask about him too but I don't want to seem too interested. I know how they'd be if they thought I was catching feelings again.
"So..." Dad says, looking at me from the corner of his eye.
Perhaps I spoke too soon.
"How was Edward the other night?" He asks.
"He was fine" I reply, keeping my eyes firmly on the screen in front of me.
"Was it weird seeing him again?" Mom asks.
"Yeah I guess so" I sigh. If I'm honest it was more than weird. "He's the same but different, you know?"
"Well, it's been a long time" Dad nods.
"Did you know he's got a dog?" I ask.
"Finn" Dad says, nodding. "He's a good boy, bit boisterous but not bad."
"You must see him around town quite a lot" I murmur.
"Here and there" Mom nods, glancing over at me.
"You never mentioned him" I murmur quietly.
"Well...it was a bit awkward sweetie" Mom says gently, "We didn't want to upset you".
I nod a little. I get that, we didn't end on good terms and when I first got to LA, I didn't want to hear a word about Edward. I didn't even want to hear his name.
"So...he works for his dad he said" I say to them.
"Yeah, Cullen Construction" Dad nods. "Been there since he graduated really. He went to college for a bit, did nights studying business".
"Then when Carlisle semi-retired he took over on the job sites. They're pretty successful now". Mom nods.
I nod a little. I feel weird trying to find things out about Edward, like I've got a school girl crush on a boy.
"Are you going to see him again?" Dad asks, his eyes fixed on the TV.
"Maybe" I whisper.
"Merry Christmas honey!" Mom cries when she opens the front door and sees me standing on the porch.
"Merry Christmas Mom" I smile, giving her a tight hug before Finn jumps between us barking excitedly.
"Oh come on you, I know what you're after" She says as I unclip his leash and watch him bound into the kitchen.
"Not too much Mom, remember what happened last time!" I call after them, closing the door behind me and shrugging out of my coat.
Last time, she'd given Finn some of the Christmas stuffing and I'd been up most of the night while he emptied his stomach contents onto the lawn. It was not a pretty picture. I head into the kitchen, finding my Dad stirring the cranberry sauce.
"Merry Christmas Dad" I say when I find him.
"Merry Christmas Son" He grins. "So, how was your week?" He asks.
"Not too bad. Got everything finished at the Marshall's place for the plumber next week" I nod.
"Good, good" Dad smiles.
"Boys, it's Christmas day. Seriously" Mom scolds, rolling her eyes at us.
"Sorry Mom" I chuckle, stealing a piece of roast potato from the tray on the island before she smacks my hand.
"So..." Mom says, trying to act casual as she places the plates into the oven to warm. "How was Bella?" she asks.
I knew this was coming, I'd been expecting it but I still wasn't prepared for the way I felt when I heard her name spoken out loud.
"It was..." I trail off thinking.
What was it? Fine? Exciting? Horrific? Amazing?
It was all of those things. It was like heaven and hell combined. She was exactly as I had remembered her, yet...different somehow. She still laughed the same, her eyes still darted around the room when she was explaining something, she still bit her lip when she was nervous. She still had the same effect on me too.
"Alright" I say, settling on that word.
"Just alright?" Mom asks, looking a little surprised.
"It was...weird I guess. She's the same but different. It's like knowing a stranger somehow." I admit with a shrug.
"How are you feeling about it?" Dad asks.
"Okay" I nod.
If I'm honest with myself, I was anything but okay that night. I'd spent most of the night lying awake, staring at the ceiling and trying to get images of hazel eyes, brown hair and bitten lips out of my mind, but since that day, I'd managed to rein myself in. I meant what I said to her as well, I'd like to see her again, despite my better judgement.
"Do you think you'll see her again?" Mom asks, like she can read my mind.
"Maybe" I shrug, trying to act more casual than I feel.
They both nod a little before dropping the subject.
"Right, I think this is almost there. About another thirty minutes and we'll be ready" Dad says jovially.
"Shall we open presents then?" Mom asks.
"Yeah" I grin.
We head into the living room, Finn dancing around our feet. The Christmas tree sits in the corner, surrounded by presents. I add my few parcels to the group before Dad hands out the gifts, giving us a small pile each.
We begin to unwrap our presents, the floor turning into a kaleidoscope of colours and festive prints as we tear the paper off of parcels. I get a couple of sweaters, a few new tools I've been meaning to buy and a handful of novels I've been wanting to read. The last gift is an envelope, my name written in my mother's handwriting.
I open it, seeing a card with a snowman on the front before two pieces of paper fall out. I pick them up before my eyes widen slightly.
"Seriously?" I ask. Mom nods with a grin.
In my hand, I hold two tickets to the Seahawks game.
"I thought you and your father could go together," She says.
"Thank you Mom" I grin.
"Well, I know how much you love your football games" She smiles.
"I do" I nod, swallowing thickly, thinking back to all those years ago, to the last football game I attended.
"Hey Edward!" I hear my name get called from the other side of the room. I turn to see my best friend Emmett, waving jovially at me.
I wave back before making my way through the crowds of people currently filling his living room.
"Hey man, great party" I grin, sipping my beer and feeling my head begin to spin a little.
"Thanks. Can you believe we fucking won?!" He asks.
"Didn't doubt you for a second" I shrug.
"Yeah right, you're a fucking cynic when it comes to sport" Jasper chuckles, pushing his long hair out of his eyes.
"No I'm not!" I argue, "I'm just a realist. You gotta back the winner, not your favourite" I shrug.
"I bet that's what you tell all the girls!" Emmett laughs, Jasper joining him.
I flip them both off but they're not wrong. I've always been popular amongst the girls, probably due to my looks and slightly bad boy demeanour. Ironically, I'm not particularly bad but for some reason, the leather jacket and cigarettes drive them all wild.
"Hey, didn't you take out the Chief's daughter the other night?" Jasper suddenly asks, his eyes wide.
"Yeah" I nod, trying to act casual.
If I'm honest with myself, it was one of the best evenings I'd ever had. Initially, I just thought she was hot and who doesn't want to go out with a hot girl, but then we'd hung out and she'd been so easy to talk to, to laugh with, to tease, to flirt with. It kind of drove me crazy.
"How was it?" Emmett asks, his eyes full of mischief.
"It was good. We had a good time" I nod.
"Will you see her again?" Jasper asks.
"Ed never sees them again" Emmett chuckles.
"Actually, I think I will" I tell them, sipping my beer.
"What?!" Emmett cries, "Who are you and what have you done with Edward Cullen?" He laughs.
"I am one and the same my manchild friend" I reply. "I just thought she was...cool, different, I don't know." I shrug.
"Oooo look at Edward Cullen, getting it bad for some girl!" Jasper laughs.
"Fuck off guys" I chuckle. "I'm going for a smoke" I tell them.
"Need to cool off do we?!" I hear them shout after me, hearing them laugh.
I chuckle as I make my way outside, sipping my beer and nodding to a few faces I know. I stumble out into the yard and take a deep breath of fresh air, feeling it cool my heated cheeks. I make my way over to the far side of the yard, finding a quiet corner before I pull out my cigarettes. I place one to my lips, fumbling around in my pocket for my lighter.
Suddenly, I hear a noise and swing around meeting hazel eyes.
"Hello" I grin, seeing Bella staring at me with wide eyes.
"What are you doing here?" She asks and I can't help but laugh.
"Um...I was invited?" I reply, smirking at her. She laughs a little, rolling her eyes and her cheeks heat under my gaze.
"I know that dipshit, I meant what are you doing out here?" She asks gesturing to the bushes around us.
"Oh, just having a smoke. It's pretty warm in there" I murmur.
She nods a little, biting her bottom lip and making my insides feel weird. I feel for my lighter again, pulling it out of my pocket before glancing back at her.
"I didn't realise you were here" I tell her.
"Yeah well, I've only been here thirty minutes or so" She shrugs, her eyes meeting mine.
There's a pulse between us, an electricity. It's almost palpable.
"Do you want some help?" She asks seeing me struggling to light my fucking cigarette due to the beer I've drunk.
"You want to light my cigarette baby?" I tease, the alcohol having made my tongue loose.
She looks at me with wide eyes for a moment before a small smile crosses her face.
"I thought you'd never ask" She teases and I can't help but chuckle.
She's one of the few girls that gives as good as she gets and doesn't try to sound like a porn star while doing so.
She walks over to me, standing close before she gently takes the lighter from my fingers. Her skin brushes against mine and I feel a tingle shoot up my arm. I look down at her, seeing how a few strands of her hair stick up, catching the light, how her dark eyes focus on the silver lighter between her fingertips, how she bites her bottom lip in concentration.
I can smell her at this proximity too. She smells like flowers and washing powder and strawberries. It's fucking intoxicating.
Bella tries to get the lighter going, flicking her thumb awkwardly. It's obvious she's never used one before and I can't help the breathy laugh that leaves my mouth. She glances up at me and I feel my breathing become a little heavier at the look in her eyes. I didn't realise we were quite this close until now.
"You've never used a lighter before have you?" I say quietly.
She shakes her head before biting her bottom lip again.
"Let me show you" I tell her before taking her hand in mine. I rest my thumb against hers, flicking it quickly. It lights immediately.
"Huh" She smiles, looking at the flame dancing in front of her face.
I dip my head, holding the end of the cigarette in the flame as my eyes stay fixed on hers. I notice her eyes drop to my mouth for the briefest of moments and the action makes my pants feel a little tighter.
When the cigarette is lit, I move back, taking the lighter from her and flipping the cap back in place. I shove it in my pocket, flexing my fingers a little, trying to shake the feel of her out of them.
"Thank you" I say quietly.
"No worries" She breathes before letting out a slow breath and looking exactly how I feel right now.
"So, did you enjoy the arcade the other night?" I ask her.
"Yeah I did" She giggles.
"Good" I chuckle.
"Did you?" She asks.
The question takes me aback for some reason. I'm not used to girls asking if I enjoyed myself, they're normally too busy fluttering their eyelashes or shoving their tits in my face.
"Yeah" I murmur, my eyes flicking between hers. "I did" I nod.
"Good" She smiles.
"So, you think you wanna do it again?" I ask, feeling my heart beat a little faster, a little harder.
She looks at me with wide eyes before one eyebrow raises.
"I thought you never went out with the same girl twice?" She asks.
"Where'd you hear that?" I chuckle, surprised she's heard that rumour.
"Am I wrong?" She counters.
"You been checking up on me Swan?" I tease.
"Are you avoiding the question Cullen?" She replies, biting her lip and trying not to smile. I laugh at her, blowing smoke out of the side of my mouth.
"No, under normal circumstances I wouldn't go out with the same girl twice" I admit. "But I don't think these are normal circumstances".
"Oh really?" She asks, her eyes meeting mine. They're full of mischief and they make my stomach fizz. "How's that then?" She asks.
"Well, for one, you beat me at Space Invaders which is just-"
"Embarrassing?" She finishes for me. I flip her off but can't help the smile on my face.
"Unheard of, I was going to say" I reply, making her giggle. "And secondly..." I trail off, unsure whether to speak the words on the tip of my tongue.
"Secondly?" She asks quietly.
"Secondly, I want to see you again" I admit quietly.
Her eyes meet mine and I can't detect the emotion swimming behind them but then she smiles and I feel my own cheeks rising in a grin.
"Oh yeah?" She teases.
"Well, I mean...Kind of, I guess" I shrug, acting casual.
She smacks me on the arm and I chuckle before grabbing her hand in mine to stop her attack. I hold her hand a few seconds longer than I need to before dropping it.
"So, what do you say?" I ask.
"Hmmm..." She hums, pretending to think for a moment.
"Firstly, I think you need to redeem yourself at Space Invaders because I would not want that on my street cred" She teases, making me chuckle. "Secondly, as the first girl to be offered a second date with Edward Cullen, I think I would be mad to pass it up, for research purposes if nothing else, and thirdly..." She trails off, her eyes shining into mine.
"Thirdly?" I ask.
"Thirdly, I want to see you again too" She whispers.
I grin from ear to ear, stubbing out my cigarette before walking a little closer. I see her eyes flick between mine before dropping to my mouth for a second. I lean down and hear Bella's breathing hitch a little before my lips meet her ear.
"It's a date then" I whisper.
Christmas passes as does the week after and I still haven't seen or heard from Edward. I didn't think it would affect me this much. I mean, I wasn't expecting to see him once let alone twice, but knowing he suggested it and hasn't followed up on the invitation kind of makes my chest ache. I try to ignore it though.
It's a little before ten in the morning when I get a text from Angela asking if I would like to meet her for a coffee in an hour. I bite my lip a little, trying to decide whether it's a good idea, going out in public where someone might see or recognise me. Eventually, I decide that if anyone does, I'm leaving in a couple of days anyway so it can't hurt.
I quickly text her back saying that I'll meet her at the new cafe in town in one hour before heading downstairs to tell my parents. Mom is in the kitchen baking, my dad sits on one of the wooden dining chairs reading the paper. It looks like wedded bliss.
I'm fucking jealous.
"Just so you know, I'm going to meet Angela in an hour for a coffee," I tell them both.
"At her house?" Mom asks.
"No, at that cafe on the corner" I reply.
"Is that a good idea? You know...being out in public?" Dad asks.
"I think it will be fine" I shrug. "I leave in a few days anyway and even if someone does recognise me, it's more likely because we went to school together rather than anything else," I tell them.
"Well, I think it's a good idea" Mom smiles. "Get out of the house for a bit, catch up with old friends."
I smile at her before asking if she needs any help.
I help Mom bake for a while, talking about everything and nothing until it's time for me to go and meet Angela. I grab my coat and boots, pull them on and decide to walk the short distance to the cafe. I say goodbye to my parents before heading out of the door and down the driveway.
On my walk over there, I breathe in deep lungfuls of fresh, cold air, relishing in the tingle on my cheeks and nose. It's one thing I really miss in California, the cold and wet. It sounds weird but, sometimes I really crave a wet winter day in Forks.
I make my way down the main street before heading into the cafe on the corner. My eyes scan the few patrons inside before I see Angela sitting at a table in the corner, Theo balanced on her knee. She waves when she sees me.
"Hey" She grins when I reach her. "Is this okay? I realised at the last minute that you don't like being out."
"Yeah, it's fine. I think if anyone knew I was here, they'd have appeared by now" I tell her. She nods a little smiling. "Hi, Theo" I coo, taking his little hands in mine and grinning at him. He gives me a big gummy smile in response.
"He likes you," Angela says.
"I like him" I grin, sticking my tongue out at him.
We both order a coffee before Angela turns to face me.
"So, how have you been?" She asks, her eyes looking a little wary. I know what she's referring to.
"I've been okay. I actually met up with Edward for a drink" I tell her quietly.
"Really?" She says, looking surprised.
"Yeah" I laugh, "He asked me as well which was just...unexpected" I nod.
"So, how did it go?" She asks.
"It was...weird" I admit. "It was like knowing a stranger. I mean, it's Edward and he's sitting in the chair opposite me but...I don't know anything about him."
"It's been a long time" Angela nods.
"Yeah, almost a decade" I agree, sipping my latte.
"What did you talk about?" She asks.
"Not a lot. We mainly kept to neutral subjects, you know? We talked about his job and whether I liked LA, how I'd bumped into you" I tell her. "He told me he hadn't seen any of my movies" I chuckle, still feeling a little hurt by that piece of information.
"Yeah I know," Angela says, nodding her head and sipping her coffee.
"You know?" I ask.
"Well, I know he hasn't seen the movies. He...We all organised a trip to the movie theatre when Beneath The Stones came out" Angela says, laughing slightly, "He wouldn't come."
I stare at her for a minute. He wouldn't come. So he actively avoided the film. I nod a little, deciding to drop the subject. I don't like how it makes my insides feel.
"So how about you? What have you been up to?" I ask, smiling at her and changing the subject.
"Oh you know, washing, ironing, making dinner" She laughs. "We were actually going to head to the park after this if you want to come?" She asks.
"Sure" I grin, "That would be nice".
When Angela and I have finished our coffee, we make our way down to the park in town. It's small and has been there for decades. I expect it to have changed in the time that I've been gone, but it hasn't. It's exactly the same.
The slide still sits in the far corner, the squeaking swings in the centre and the round-about on the left. The paint is still peeling and the gate still creaks.
"Right young man, what shall we go on first?" Angela asks. "Ooo, how about the slide?" She says.
I watch Angela slide Theo down the slide for a while, smiling at how good she is with him. I can't help but giggle when Theo starts to squeal and laugh delightedly when she lifts him and spins around when he reaches the bottom.
After a while, Angela slides him into one of the baby swings and begins to push him back and forth. I sit on the swing next to them, watching his eyes light up as he gets higher.
"He's so cute," I tell her.
"Yeah, he is." She admits. "It's his saving grace at times".
I laugh with her, turning to look at her over my shoulder.
"You're good with him," I say sincerely.
"Thanks" She grins, blushing slightly. "Want a go Bells?" She asks, her eyes lighting up.
I giggle, shrugging before she begins to push me on the swing too. I swing in tandem with Theo, cooing and pulling silly faces at him as Angela pushes us both higher into the sky. I smile when I hear Theo laughing hard beside me before I close my eyes, feeling the cold air swish past me as I swing back and forth.
It reminds me of the last time I was here...
"Where are we going?" I chuckle as Edward strides ahead down the main street.
"It's a surprise," He says, rolling his eyes at me before he grins over his shoulder.
I follow behind him, slightly jogging to keep up with him. We round the corner before he stops and stretches his arms in front of him, revealing his surprise.
"The park?" I say, raising one eyebrow at him.
"Yes, Bella." He replies, feigning hurt. "What is wrong with parks?" He asks.
"Nothing. Are you into kids' stuff or something?" I tease.
"Why do you ask that?" He replies, pushing open the creaky gate and holding it for me.
"First the arcade, now the park..." I say, following him over to the playground.
"Maybe I just appreciate the simple things in life" He counters, winking at me.
I chuckle before watching him sit on one of the swings. He shoves his hand into his jacket pocket before pulling out his cigarettes and lighter. He places a cigarette between his lips and my eyes follow the movement.
"Want to try again?" He asks, wiggling the lighter at me.
"Okay" I giggle.
I take the lighter from him before opening the lid and trying to flick my thumb like he did. It almost lights at one point but I still can't get it. He chuckles, leaning forward, wrapping his hand around mine before flicking my thumb with his. The flame pops out immediately.
"It's so much harder than it looks," I say quietly as he pulls my hand towards him, lighting his cigarette.
He chuckles at my words before looking up at me from under his lashes.
"Like most things baby" He teases, winking at me.
I scoff at him, rolling my eyes and feeling my cheeks burn at the innuendo. Edward chuckles, taking the lighter from me and dropping it back into his pocket.
"You nearly had it though. Next time maybe" He grins.
"Why do you smoke anyway?" I ask, standing in front of him and shifting from one foot to the other. He looks at me for a minute.
"I don't know. Maybe I'm just a bad boy" He says with a smirk.
"No, you're not," I reply firmly, before realising the words have left my mouth. His eyes burn into mine before his eyebrows raise slightly.
"I'm not? What am I then?" He asks, wrapping his fingers around the swing chains and moving back and forth slightly, his cigarette hanging out of his mouth, the cherry red end burning brightly in the dark.
"You're just a boy. Maybe a little rough around the edges, but I don't think you're bad" I shrug, looking away from the intensity of his gaze.
"Hmm..." He hums, making me glance back at him. He sucks hard on his cigarette before blowing smoke out of the corner of his mouth.
"So, why do you smoke?" I ask again.
"I dunno. Something to do I guess." He shrugs.
"It's bad for you," I mumble. He chuckles again.
"So are sugar and saturated fats, but you still ate that hot dog and cotton candy the other night," He says, giving me a pointed look.
I laugh at the comment before shoving him in the chest, lightly.
"You're such an ass," I tell him.
He chuckles at my reaction, grabbing my hand to stop my attack but unlike the other night, he doesn't drop it, instead, he entwines our fingers together. I look down at our hands, feeling my pulse quicken and my breathing become a little laboured. I try to rein in my reactions, not wanting to look like an idiot in front of him.
"Is this okay?" He whispers, looking at our hands.
"Yeah" I whisper.
His eyes flash to mine before he grins at me.
"So, what were you saying about things that were bad for you?" He asks, his eyes glinting in the dark.
I'm pulled out of the memory by Theo squealing in delight and laughing as I drag my feet on the ground, coming to a halt.
"You ever thought about kids?" Angela asks.
"Yeah, once or twice" I admit. "Kind of need someone else to have them with though" I joke.
She laughs a little, nodding.
"It will happen one day I'm sure" She smiles.
We're quiet for a while, listening to Theo giggle before I hear a voice behind me.
"Bella?" I turn to face the voice, immediately knowing it anywhere.
Edward stands at the edge of the park, his eyes meeting mine. He's wearing work trousers and an embroidered sweater. His cheeks are rosy like he's been doing exercise and there's a smudge of white on his forehead.
"Hey" I say quietly.
There's a beat of silence before Edward's eyes flick to Angela's and he gives her a smile.
"Hi Angie" He says, "Hey Theo" He grins, waving at him.
It's weird seeing him with kids and it makes my insides somersault.
"Hey Edward, how are you?" Angela asks, her eyes flashing to mine for a second.
"I'm good" He nods, looking back at me.
Again, there's an awkward silence before I hear Angela speak.
"I'm just going to take Theo to the roundabout." She says.
"Are you sure?" I ask, looking over at her.
"Yeah" She nods, giving me a small smile before lifting Theo from the swing and tilting her head towards Edward. I take that as a signal to go talk to him.
"So, did you have a good Christmas?" He asks.
"Yeah I did, you?" I reply, standing from the swing and walking towards the fence.
"Yeah not too bad" He shrugs.
"Good" I nod, feeling a little uncomfortable and unsure of what to say.
We're quiet for a while, Edward's eyes looking anywhere but at me.
"I'm sorry I haven't been in touch about meeting up again" He suddenly says.
"It's okay. You're busy, I get it" I nod, biting my lip a little.
"Yeah but still" He shrugs. "Um..." He swallows thickly, looking down at his work boots and kicking the asphalt slightly. "Do you wanna come over for a beer again? Maybe on Friday night?" He asks.
It's strange to see Edward look so out of place. He used to be so confident.
"Sure" I nod. "That would be good. I leave on Sunday so, it would be nice to see you before I leave" I whisper.
He stares at me for a moment before nodding a little.
"Okay cool. Um..same time as before?" He asks.
"Yeah" I nod.
"Okay, well I better get back to work otherwise Emmett will have my ass," He says, trying to lighten the mood.
I laugh slightly before nodding.
"Okay, see you Friday then" I nod.
"Yeah. Friday" He replies, giving me a small smile before walking away.
I watch him as he goes for a moment, taking in his broad shoulders and strong back. I drop my eyes to his ass, watching it move under the fabric of his pants. He always did have a good one.
"What you staring at?" Angela asks making me shriek in surprise.
"Don't sneak up on people like that!" I say to her, my cheeks flaming.
"I didn't sneak. I guess you were just too distracted to hear me coming" She says with a knowing smile on her face.
When Friday night comes, I'm as nervous as I was the first time. I try to prolong the drive over to Edward's house, taking my time as I drive down the once familiar roads and stop for long periods at junctions and stop signs. Eventually, I can't delay it anymore and pull to a stop outside of his house.
I switch off the engine, take a deep breath and try to reason with myself. The last time wasn't that bad, a little awkward maybe, but not horrific. He didn't scream at you and kick you out of the house so that's a bonus. So what if you find him marginally attractive? You used to date, you would hope you did still have some attraction to him.
I walk up the drive before knocking on the front door. A few moments later, Edward opens it, Finn barking excitedly.
"Hi, Finn" I smile, dropping to my heels and patting his head.
He hangs his tongue out as I scratch behind his ear before trotting off happily.
"Hello," I say when my eyes meet Edward's, rising to my feet.
"Hi," He says, giving me a small smile. "Come in".
I follow him into the house, shrugging out of my coat and hanging it on the rack. I can feel his eyes on me even though I'm not looking at him and I absentmindedly smooth my pants.
"Can I get you a drink?" He asks.
"Wine if you have it" I nod.
"Sure. It's white, is that okay?" He asks, walking towards the kitchen.
"Perfect" I reply.
While he's out of the room, I take a moment to look around. I wander through the living room, looking at a few of the books on the shelves, recognising some familiar favourites as well as some I haven't heard of before. I see a few CDs as well, well used from days gone by and find myself smiling a little at some of the old titles.
I continue walking before I reach the fireplace, stopping when I see some photos in frames. The first is of Edward with his parents. He's wearing a graduation gown and smiling into the camera, his mom and dad flanking him on both sides.
The second is of Edward, Emmett and Jasper. They're all wearing liveried sweaters and standing in front of a truck emblazoned with the name Cullen Construction. They look happy.
The third photo is of the three of them in their teens. They're grinning into the camera, laughing about something. I'm surprised when I feel tears prick behind my eyes.
"It was Jazz's eighteenth," A voice says behind me. I jump in surprise before spinning around and seeing Edward standing in the doorway, holding two wine glasses.
"I know" I murmur, "I remember."
He nods a little before handing me my glass and taking a seat in one of the chairs.
"It was the night that Emmett threw up in his mom and dad's pool as I recall," I say with a breathless laugh, sipping my wine and enjoying how the alcohol burns my throat.
"Yeah" Edward nods, barking out a harsh laugh before rubbing the back of his neck. "That's the one."
We're silent for a moment, sipping our wine and I begin to feel a little awkward again.
"So, how was your week?" Edward asks quietly.
I look over at him and meet his eyes.
"Not bad" I shrug. "I just kind of hung out with my parents. I think they're sad I'm leaving soon" I tell him.
"I'm sure they are" He nods, staring at his boots.
"How about you?" I ask.
"Just working really" He sighs.
"What are you working on?" I ask.
"A house in town. It's been completely gutted and we're refurbishing it" He explains.
"That sounds cool. Is it going well?" I say, sipping the amber liquid in my glass.
"Yeah, I suppose. We're on schedule for second fix so..." He nods, trailing off and looking down at Finn, snoozing in front of the fire.
"Do you enjoy it?" I ask him.
I try to keep the conversation going and work seems to be good territory for him.
"Yeah, I like being outside." He nods. "You can't really think about anything else when you're working with your hands." He explains.
I immediately feel two emotions. Curiosity over what he's trying not to think about and a stab of desire when I remember his hands. I push the thought from my mind, sipping my wine and feeling my cheeks warm.
"How about you?" He asks. "What do you like about your job?"
I stare at him for a moment, unsure how to answer. I've been asked similar questions hundreds of times in interviews and always said some schpiel about creativity and passion for stories, but I've never answered truthfully.
"I like being someone else" I reply honestly.
"What's wrong with you?" He asks.
It's a loaded question and one I don't have an answer to. I shrug non-committedly.
"Why do you like being someone else then?" He asks, looking genuinely curious.
"I don't know," I reply quietly. "I guess in part it's fun, you know? To see if you can tap into another person, using parts of yourself as inspiration. In other ways maybe it's a desire to be liked? I don't know. Probably just narcissism" I chuckle, suddenly feeling like I've bared my soul a bit too openly.
"You don't feel like you're liked?" Edward asks quietly, sipping his wine and fixing me with a burning stare.
Why do I feel like he can see everything I'm not saying?
"No, I mean. I have friends and stuff so I must be fairly likeable but...I don't know." I shrug, feeling too warm and too open and too...seen. "What is this anyway? Are you a closet therapist or something?" I ask, laughing a little too hard at my own joke.
Edward stares at me for a beat too long before shrugging a little.
"I was just curious," He says quietly.
I nod a little before we both fall into an uncomfortable silence. I tap my fingers against the side of the wineglass, looking around the room for something to talk about.
"You have a lot of books," I say, my voice seeming loud in the quiet room.
Edward looks at me from under his lashes and it reminds me of when we were young.
"Um..yeah, I read a lot," He says, looking at the bookcase next to him.
"I don't remember you as much of a reader," I say, smiling slightly.
"I guess I had more important things to do back then," He says, his eyes boring into mine.
I swallow, feeling too warm suddenly.
"How about you? Do you read?" He asks as he sips his wine.
"Yeah I do." I nod.
"What are you reading at the moment?" He asks.
"A script actually," I reply.
"What's it about?" He asks.
"It's a love story, set in the thirties. It's called Girls of Yesterday" I tell him.
"What part are you playing?" He asks.
"Well, I haven't actually got the part yet," I tell him, "But I'm looking at the role of Kitty, she's the leading love interest."
He nods a little.
"More wine?" He asks.
"Sure" I nod.
I watch as he leaves the room, taking my glass with him before returning a few moments later. He hands me the refilled glass before sitting back on the chair opposite me, looking down at Finn.
I stare at him for a long minute, studying his profile as he absentmindedly strokes Finn with his foot, how his sweater fits him so snugly, how he looks the same but different. It's weird seeing him drink wine and I hear a small laugh leave my mouth at the thought.
"What?" He asks, snapping me out of my thoughts.
"Nothing" I mumble, sipping my drink.
"You laughed." He points out. "Do you usually laugh for no reason?"
"No" I reply.
"And you were staring at me" He adds.
I stare at him, feeling my mouth drop open slightly.
"Was not" I lie.
"Yes, you were," He says, a small smile playing on his lips.
He doesn't smile often and I wonder what he would look like if he really grinned.
"How could you tell?" I ask quietly.
"I can always tell" He shrugs, staring at me. "So, why'd you laugh?" He asks, sipping his wine.
"I was just thinking you look weird drinking wine" I shrug.
"Why?" He asks, frowning a little.
"I don't know. You look like a grown-up" I reply.
"I am a grown-up," He says, chuckling slightly. The sound is as good as I remember.
"I know but...in my head, you're not" I admit.
"What am I in your head?" He asks.
"I don't know. Eighteen, drinking beer and being an ass" I tell him, laughing breathlessly.
He looks at me for a long minute, really looks at me.
"What am I in your head?" I ask quietly.
He stares into my eyes before his gaze moves across my face, down my neck and then my body. I feel my breathing turn a little laboured under the intensity before his eyes snap away and focus on the floor.
"I don't know. You're just...Bella, I guess." He shrugs, swigging his wine again.
I nod a little before looking away. I bite my bottom lip, suddenly feeling like I shouldn't have asked that question.
"Do you remember when Jasper caused an explosion in the science labs?" Edward suddenly asks.
My head snaps around to look at him but he's staring into the fire.
"Yeah" I say quietly, "Yeah I do".
"You were so mad" He says, one corner of his mouth turning up slightly. "I thought you were going to skin him alive" He admits.
"I would have, but he had our project in his locker and I didn't know the combination" I tell him laughing quietly.
"That was the same week that we found out Emmett's porn name would have been Big Daddy Dangler" Edward chuckles.
I feel my stomach fizz at the sound.
"What was yours? I can't remember" I ask, laughing slightly.
"Humphrey Dinkling" He answers, laughing a little too.
"Oh yeah!" I giggle, "That wasn't the best was it."
"No" He admits, his eyes meeting mine as he laughs quietly.
We look at each other, both smiling slightly and it's weird. Almost like we're not supposed to be happy around each other.
"Remember the eyeball fiasco in bio?" I ask, not wanting the spell to be broken.
"Fuck" Edward chuckles, "When it stuck to Mr Molina's lab coat?" He asks.
"Yeah" I laugh, "Why did we have to dissect eyeballs anyway?"
"I don't know but you properly freaked out over that" He laughs.
"It was looking at me." I giggle.
"It was looking at everyone" He replies.
"Well it definitely only had eyes for me" I say, laughing slightly at my own joke.
"Can't blame it" He says before suddenly looking awkward, as if he didn't mean to say that out loud.
We look at each other for a long minute before he breaks his gaze.
"So, what are you doing when you go home?" He asks.
Home. It's strange, I've never considered LA home. I don't really consider anywhere home.
"I'm actually flying to New York first. I have a few meetings there before I go back to LA." I tell him.
"Fancy" He nods, looking into his wine.
"Not really" I admit. "It's normally pretty boring but..." I shrug a little.
We're quiet again and I finish my wine, placing my glass on the coffee table.
"Would you like another?" He asks.
"No, I'm driving and I should probably go soon anyway" I say.
He nods a little before looking at the floor again.
"Well, it's been nice to see you" He says quietly.
"You too" I reply.
His eyes flash to mine and there's something I can't quite detect behind his eyes.
"Um..." I wring my hands a little, not knowing if what I'm about to say is a terrible mistake. "I wondered about giving you my number" I say quietly, looking anywhere but at him. "It's been really nice to catch up and...it would be good to keep in contact after I leave...if you want that is." I murmur, feeling my cheeks burn.
Edward doesn't reply and in the end, I have to look at him to gauge his reaction. He's staring at me, unmoving, frozen.
"Yeah" He whispers after a long, painful minute. "Yeah that would be good" He nods.
"Okay" I breathe, rummaging in my purse and pulling out my cell. "Do you want to give me yours and then I can text you mine?" I ask.
"Sure" Edward nods before rattling off his number.
I type it into my phone, saving his contact before opening a new message, deciding on a neutral 'hey'. I hear his phone ding in his pocket. I watch as he pulls it out and looks at the message before saving my number to his phone. Our eyes meet again and I don't know what else to say.
"Okay, well I guess I should go" I say, standing from the couch and grabbing my stuff.
"Yeah" He nods. "Um...well thanks for coming," He says, rubbing the back of his neck slightly.
"Thanks for having me" I smile.
"Have a safe trip back" He says.
"Yeah, I will, thanks" I nod. "And I'll um...I'll text you...see how you are" I add, shrugging my coat on.
He nods in agreement, looking a little unsure.
"Well...bye then" I say before giving him a small smile. I momentarily consider giving him a hug but decide against it.
"Bye Bella," He says before I head out the door and back down to the car.
I wave as I climb behind the wheel, turn the engine on and see him give a two-finger wave in return. I pull out of his driveway, heading down the street, one question screaming in my mind.
What have I done?
