CLOSE TO YOU
CHAPTER TWO

Although Rick had told her he'd be gone during his daughter's Christmas break, not returning until after the new year, Kate finds herself missing his presence during her coffee breaks for the final two weeks of the year. She tries to tell herself that it's silly, that she has no reason to miss a man she hardly even knows, but she can't help it.

He's charming, he's nice to her daughter, even her dad liked him. And he's nice to look at.

As the calendar turns from December to January and the anniversary of the worst day of her life approaches, she finds herself hoping that she'll see Rick at least once before that day. They've never had a deep conversation, or one that's lasted more than ten minutes, but when she finally spots him in his usual corner one Thursday, she almost jumps for joy.

His face lights up when their eyes meet, and he shuts his laptop as he stands and takes out his earbuds. He almost runs up to her, starts to reach for her before pausing and shoving his hands in his back pockets.

"Hi," he says, clearing his throat when his voice cracks.

She chuckles as she notices the tips of his ears turn an interesting shade of pink. "Welcome back."

He grins. "Thanks. Did you have a nice holiday?"

He joins her in line, and they make small talk, Rick telling her about his Christmas and New Year's endeavors. Kate swiftly dodges his inquiry about her plans, although she does admit that she'd fallen asleep before ten on New Year's Eve and missed the ball drop entirely.

"Your usual?" Rick asks when they reach the cashier.

Kate shakes her head, pulling her card from her wallet. "I got it."

Rick's faster than she is, though, and he hands his credit card to the amused cashier. "Nope. This one's on me," he insists.

The cashier just smirks, wisely staying out of their disagreement as she runs his card.

They step to the side to wait for Kate's drink, and she takes a deep breath, her eyes fluttering shut at the familiar mix of Rick's subtle cologne and the smell of the coffee beans.

"Did you spend Christmas with your dad?" Rick asks once Kate has her latte in hand.

She shakes her head after taking a sip and follows him back to his table. She should get back to the precinct, but her team can handle it for a few extra minutes.

"No. Christmas in the city is really hard for him since we lost Mom," she explains. "As much as he loves watching Reagan open presents, by the time she's done, he's itching to go up to his cabin. It doesn't help that his office faces the tree at Rockefeller Center, so he's forced to stare at the explosion of holiday decorations," she adds with a wry smirk.

Rick chuckles. "No, I can't imagine it does. Can I-" He pauses, his hand on the back of his chair, indecision all over his face. "Can I ask, did she pass around the holidays?"

"Just after," Kate explains. "Anniversary is on Sunday, actually."

Rick's eyes widen in a look she recognizes from anyone she's told in the sixteen years since that fateful night. It still hurts, of course: the memory, the grief that's taken up permanent residence in the pit of her stomach.

Being able to experience Christmas through Reagan's eyes has helped Kate see the magic of the holidays once again. And now her dad doesn't go to his cabin until after their post-present brunch.

Still, as January 9 approaches, melancholy settles over her, draping over her shoulders like a blanket she never wanted, but has learned to carry.

"I'm sorry," Rick breathes, bringing Kate back to the present.

Kate shrugs in an outward display of nonchalance. "It's been a long time. But thank you. Anyway," she continues, "Dad goes out of town, and Reagan and I spend Christmas day together."

Rick rocks back on his heels, hesitating, then takes a breath and meets her eyes. "And Reagan's dad?"

"Not in the picture."

Rick nods, something she doesn't quite recognize flashing across his face. Not joy, maybe…understanding?

"I see," he rasps.

Kate finishes her latte and glances at her watch, wincing when she notices the time. She's been gone a lot longer than she'd planned. "I have to get back. See you tomorrow?" she asks, hope flaring in her chest.

Rick grins. "Can't wait."

"Can I walk you back to work?" Rick asks a week later as he packs up his laptop.

Kate smirks behind her latte. Since she'd told him that Reagan's dad isn't involved, Rick has been much more blatant with his flirting. Adding a relationship to her already chaotic life is far from a good idea, although she has a feeling that Rick would be better than her last boyfriend.

Josh had been nice, a handsome cardiac surgeon who came into her life shortly after her return from maternity leave. Between his long hours at the hospital and weeks spent volunteering with Doctors Beyond Borders, it had seemed like the perfect relationship. She could focus on Reagan, and not feel guilty about not giving him more attention.

Unfortunately, since he was gone so much, when he was home, he expected to be her number one priority. And she refused to put anyone in front of her daughter. So, after six months of dating and more than a handful of loud arguments, they'd ended things.

But Rick's also a single parent, so maybe he would be more understanding and flexible.

He drapes his bag over his shoulder and blinks at her, and she realizes that he's waiting for her answer. She also realizes that although he knows she's a homicide captain, and has likely surmised that she works at the Twelfth Precinct nearby, he's never even asked to see her outside the café.

And she realizes that she doesn't mind showing him a little more of her life.

"Sure," she finally says, grinning with the excitement that appears on his face.

The walk takes just a few minutes, but in that short time Rick divulges that he'll be alone on Friday night, as his daughter will be at a sleepover.

"So, I don't know if you can get a sitter, or if you even want to," he continues, "but I would love to see you again. For more than a few minutes, that is."

Kate takes advantage of a red light to think.

Could her dad watch Reagan? Assuming he didn't have plans, which he rarely does, he wouldn't even hesitate. He would tease her relentlessly if she told him why, though.

Lanie's always insisting that she doesn't see her god-niece enough, but Kate knows that her friend is working. So perhaps Kevin and Jenny would be willing to have a play date.

Does she even want to go on a date?

You don't have to make it a big deal, she tells herself. He didn't use the 'd' word. It could just be time spent with someone, just the two of you, and the fact that you're attracted to him is coincidence.

"Not a date," Rick pipes up, and for a long, horrifying moment, Kate wonders if her mental argument had been said out loud.

He twists to face her, even as the light changes. "We can just-" He shrugs. "Go to dinner, maybe a movie, or a walk in the park if the weather cooperates. No need for you to rush back to work in the middle of a sentence. You and me, hanging out for a few hours."

Kate traps her bottom lip between her teeth, and can't help but notice that his eyes flick to her mouth and darken. After a long moment, she nods and pulls her phone from her pocket. "Okay. Give me your number, I'll call you."

Rick is sitting at his usual corner table when she walks into the café on Friday evening, and when he spots her he stands, his face lighting up with a wide grin.

She can't help but mirror his smile; after spending a large chunk of her day arguing with the Commissioner about how her team had handled a recent case, she feels her stress begin to melt away in Rick's presence.

"Fancy meeting you here," he quips, meeting her at the counter.

Kate chuckles. "If I didn't know any better, I might think you were stalking me."

"Luckily it didn't have to come to that." Rick motions for her to order. They step aside to wait for their drinks, and he shoves his hands in his back pockets. "So, how was your day? Put any serial killers away?"

"Not that I know of." She sighs, the frustration of the day coming back. "No, today was just a bunch of politics. It was boring and frustrating and I'd rather forget about it. Tell me about yours."

Rick snorts and rolls his eyes. "Staring at insurance forms for eight hours, then spending another hour staring at a blank Word document? Yeah, that's real exciting." He looks like he's going to say something else, but just then their names are called, and he grabs their drinks from the counter.

"Thank you," she says in a quiet voice, taking her drink from his hand, letting her fingers brush against his.

His eyes snap up to meet hers at the contact, and she involuntarily draws her bottom lip between her teeth and watches his eyes darken.

She finds herself leaning closer, her gaze locked on his, and her eyes start to flutter shut as she closes the distance between them. Her breath quickens in anticipation of feeling his lips on hers, wonders if they're as soft as they look, when the loud noise of coffee grinding has her jumping back.

Feeling her cheeks warm, she glances around, but either nobody's paying attention, or everyone is really good at pretending. She looks everywhere but Rick, and she takes a sip of her latte.

"Right," Rick says, his voice rough. "Um, so, are you hungry?"

Kate risks a glance at him and immediately regrets it. The tension between them is thick, the desire in his eyes obvious, and she's tempted to suggest that they go back to her place and make good use of her empty apartment.

She barely manages to stop herself from saying she's hungry for him, and instead she turns towards the door. "I am, actually," she admits. "I barely had time for lunch so I just had a granola bar."

Rick follows her and pushes open the door, letting her walk through first and motioning for someone else to come in. "How do you feel about comfort food?" he asks once they're both outside.

Kate shrugs her shoulders in an attempt to ward off some of the late January chill, and she turns to him. "Are you talking about the food truck? Are they open?" she adds when he nods.

Rick shrugs. "They were the other day. Wanna go find out?"

She considers. The city is in the midst of a cold spell, so she's hesitant to walk the three blocks if they don't know for sure that the truck will be open. And although she knows there are benches and heaters set up, the idea of sitting outside in below freezing weather, hot food or not, makes her shiver.

"Maybe when it's warmer?" she suggests, with caution. She doesn't know Rick well enough to know whether he'll be upset at her disagreement, but when he just grins, she starts to relax.

Replaying her words in her mind, she wonders if his joy is because he's so laid back - by his admission - or if she's suggested that they'll hang out again.

Rick nods. "Sounds good. Do you like burgers and beer?"

"Wouldn't be much of a cop if I didn't."

He throws his head back and laughs as he starts to walk down the sidewalk. "You're the only cop I know, so I'll take your word for it." He motions to the awning at the end of the block. "Remy's sound okay?"

Kate shivers when she's hit by a gust of wind. She sees Rick pause and lift his hand slightly, as if he wants to reach for her, but his fingers flex and he puts his hand back by his side. "Remy's sounds great," she agrees.

She has a great time. They spend hours in the booth by the window, talking and laughing like old friends, and not like people who haven't ever spent more than a few minutes together.

Rick starts to perk up around ten, proving his claim that he's a night owl, but as much as she wishes she could catch her third or fourth wind and stay with him longer, her eyelids begin to droop.

He's in the middle of telling her a story about a previous patient who had neglected to tell her husband that she'd had an affair, only for him to find out when the baby looked exactly like his best friend, when she yawns. He pauses mid-sentence and leans forward, one hand reaching towards her.

"I'm talking too much, I'm sorry," he apologizes, his fingers millimeters from hers. He taps the table, as if he's trying to decide whether to take her hand, or if it would be too forward.

She makes the decision for him, and rests her fingers on top of his. "No, I'm enjoying the story," she insists. She smirks. "Makes me glad Reagan's dad just wasn't in the picture. It cut out a lot of drama."

"Ah." Rick pauses, and she can see the indecision on his face.

She answers his unspoken question. "It was a brief fling," she explains. "It was right after the ten year anniversary of my mom's…" She trails off, leaves the sentence unfinished.

He nods, understanding in his eyes, and she draws strength from those eyes.

"Anyway, I met him in a bar, things happened, a few weeks later he ghosted me. And a few weeks after that, I found out I was pregnant." She shrugs. "He wouldn't answer any of my calls or texts, so I went back to the bar and found him. He told me in no uncertain terms that he wanted nothing to do with either of us."

Rick mutters a few choice words about what that guy can do with a certain piece of anatomy, and Kate can't help but smile.

"I decided to keep her, so I do it on my own - well, with a lot of help from my friends and family, but not him - and here we are."

When she finishes, Rick does take her hand, his soft palm covering the back of her hand. Her gaze drops to their joined hands for a moment before meeting his eyes.

"For what it's worth, he's an asshole for what he did," he tells her, his voice thick. "Reagan seems like a great kid, and you're a great mom. It's his loss."

Kate feels her face warm. "It's been hard, but she's the light of my life. I just try and do my best."

Rick tightens his grip on her hand. "Well, your best seems pretty damn good."

"Thanks." Time slows as she holds his gaze, a desire for more than friendship in the soft blue irises. She opens her mouth to ask him about his former marriage - she knows he's divorced, his ex lives in LA, and he has full custody of Alexis, but that's it - but as soon as she takes a breath, she yawns again.

Rick squeezes her hand and lets go. "It's late, you probably want to get home."

Her heart sinks at the disappointment in his voice. "I'm sorry," she apologizes, "it's just been a long day."

He shakes his head and gives her a reassuring smile. "Don't worry about it." He slides out of the booth and grabs their coats from the hanger behind him, and holds out hers.

She quirks a brow, tempted to tease him that she can put her own coat on, but it's such a sweet gesture that she lets him help her into it.

He even straightens her collar, and his fingers brush against the back of her neck as he does, sending shockwaves all the way through her bloodstream at the contact, waking parts of her that have been asleep for far too long.

Just friends, she reminds herself. No time to date.

He clears his throat and steps in front of her, tugging his coat on and draping his scarf around his neck. Before Kate can even grab her purse, he has his wallet out and heads to the front counter.

"Hey," she protests when she hears him tell the cashier to ring up her check as well. "You're not paying for mine."

Rick glances behind his shoulder, a crooked grin on his lips. "Yeah I am. You can get it next time." He signs the receipt and thanks the cashier before turning back to her, tucking his wallet in his pocket. "If there is a next time?"

She draws her bottom lip between her teeth, pretending to consider. After several long seconds, she can see panic settle on his face, and she chuckles. "There will be," she assures him.

Rick sighs in relief. "God, don't scare me like that." He pulls his gloves out of his pockets and slips them on, his gaze sweeping across the street. "Can I walk you to your car? Assuming you're okay to drive?"

She shakes her head. "I took a cab."

"Okay, well, I'll wait with you." Rick tucks his hands in his pockets and shifts to face her. "I had a great time, Kate," he tells her, his voice quiet. "I don't want to seem too eager, or presumptuous, but you did say there would be a next time, so…" He takes a deep breath when she raises her eyebrows. "I want to hang out with you again."

She drops her gaze to the ground, feels a flush creep onto her cheeks. "Me too," she admits.

"Like, a lot." He takes a step closer, not so close to make her uncomfortable, but enough so she has to tilt her head back to look in his eyes, even though she's wearing heels. His eyes bore into hers, dark and shimmering with desire, and she sucks in a shaky breath at his proximity, at the heat almost pulsing off him.

"I like you, Kate," he says in a low voice. "You can't do a relationship right now, and I respect that. But I'm a heart on my sleeve, cards on the table kind of guy. I would like to continue to see you. No expectations," he continues when she opens her mouth, "no labels, just two adults hanging out together." He glances over her head and lifts his hand in the air, straightening up when a cab slows to a stop.

Kate slowly exhales through her nose, thankful for the interruption. Her first instinct is to say no, to avoid the heartbreak that would eventually happen when he decides he's not getting enough attention. She shakes her head and turns towards the street, where Rick is standing at the back door of the cab, his hand on the handle. And suddenly she's struck with the visual of him holding open doors for her, feels the phantom heat of his palm on the small of her back as she passes by him, of late nights drinking beer or coffee and laughing, of his mouth on hers.

"I want to spend more time with you too," she finally tells him, feeling a weight lift off her shoulder with the admission. "No labels."

"Just two adults, who happen to be attracted to each other, hanging out."

She laughs at his comment, and she steps towards the car, pauses when he opens the door for her. As tired as she is, she doesn't want the night to end. "Do you, um…" She clears her throat and lifts her eyes to his, almost has to look away at the intensity of his gaze. God, have his eyes darkened even more?

She loses her nerve to ask if he wants to share the cab, and she curls her fingers around his elbow, gives it a gentle squeeze. "Good night, Rick."