A/N: Harry doesn't actually appear much in this one, but the story centers heavily around his relationships with Dumbledore and Remus. We'll start with Dumbledore saving Harry after the dementors show up in POA and then we'll go to Remus talking to Dumbledore about Harry struggling to find a happy memory while learning Patronus charm (it always bothered me a little that a 13-year-old would struggle to come up with a happy memory and Remus, sensitive and kind-hearted soul that he is, wouldn't raise it with Dumbledore). Hope you enjoy, and reviews always appreciated!
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Dumbledore always enjoyed a good Quidditch match—something this one was not turning out to be. The sky pummeled the onlookers with icy rain and gusts of wind strong enough to send the few umbrellas the crowd had brought into the dark sky. You could hardly see the players at all, much less the quaffle or bludgers (and no one had seen the snitch).
He would never admit this, but after the nearly-disastrous quidditch match in Harry's first year when Quirrel tried to kill him, Dumbledore made it a point to attend nearly every match. Mitigating danger for all the students was important, of course, but since a higher-than-average number of people tried to kill Harry, and quidditch put him in an unusually vulnerable position (several hundred feet above the ground), it made him feel even more obligated to be there.
A few well-placed charms kept him warm and dry (we really should teach weather charms to students earlier—half the crowd is going to catch cold, he reflected), so it was momentary confusion that he felt a slight, but unmistakable, chill. His confusion morphed into fury almost instantly as the chill intensified and a he looked up at the sky and saw the distinct outline of black shadows that could only mean one thing: dementors.
Harry.
No sooner had his understanding of the danger become apparent than a figure appeared through the clouds, plummeting with alarming speed towards the ground.
The Elder Wand was in his hand in a moment, slowing Harry's fall more than should have been possible in such a short distance, but Harry still hit the ground with enough force to send am spike of fear through Dumbledore.
But the dementors would have to be dealt with first—already they were swooping through the clouds, several directly towards where Harry lay on the ground.
A happy memory.
With practiced ease, Dumbledore summoned to his mind the image of Ariana, laughing with Aberforth at their father's failed attempt at muggle juggling. The details were hazy, but her laughter rang clear and bright and joyous, and one silver phoenix after another leapt from his wand, diving straight for a small figure lying motionless on the ground.
The other teachers parted for him and in moments he had descended from the quidditch box and was striding through the mud, his phoenixes clearing a path through the dementors.
Harry was unconscious and deathly pale, though Dumbledore didn't know if that was from injury or cold.
The dementors prowled hungrily around the dozen or so phoenixes that hovered around them in a protective circle. He would examine later the new evidence that the dementors both targeted Harry specifically and had an especially adverse reaction on him.
Kneeling beside Harry and casting a quick charm to redirect the rain above them, Dumbledore grasped Harry's wrist.
He breathed a sigh of relief at the steady pulse beneath ice-cold skin. Harry would need care in more ways than one, but he would be alright.
He straightened, levitating Harry beside him.
He wanted only to get Harry to the Hospital Wing and under Poppy's care as soon as possible, but the dementors would have to be dealt with first.
A few flicks of his wand conducted his army of phoenixes into formation. The herded the dementors away from the quidditch pitch and out of sight. A moment of concentration ensured that the creatures remained outside the grounds—the phoenixes would stand guard until Dumbledore could have a word (as it were—communicating with them was never straightforward) with them.
He turned the rest of his attention to Harry; his hand still grasping Harry's wrist, he walked with his student floating beside him the length of the quidditch pitch and up the steps to the castle.
A brush of magic pushed the Hospital wing doors open in front of him.
"Poppy!"
The mediwitch hurried over to the bed onto Dumbledore had lowered Harry.
"Was this…a normal quidditch incident?"
That Dumbledore was personally bringing the student (unconscious, and that it was Harry Potter) indicated, of course, that it was not, but Dumbledore appreciated her sensitivity.
"The dementors came to the match."
"And…attacked?"
"They are capable of little else, and I believe they specifically targeted Harry. He passed out and fell from his broom. I slowed his descent, but he still fell over a hundred feet."
"Well, he's lucky. Minor break to the rib…slight concussion…but he'll be fine. And…if he was already unconscious, he may not have felt it at all."
Neither of them voiced what torments Harry must have experienced in his own head.
Poppy broke the somber silence after a pause. "I'll get some supplies. Would you get him into dry clothes?"
A flick of his wand replaced Harry's sodden uniform with dry, warm pajamas. The danger over, Dumbledore reached out a hand to brush Harry's still-wet hair from his eyes, and after a moment's consideration, he dried it as well.
He caught Poppy's glance out of the corner of his eye as she deposited the necessary potions on Harry's bedside table. She knew what Harry meant to him, and knew the (failed) efforts he had to take to keep his distance, but she said nothing.
"His friends will be here soon, Poppy. If they might be allowed to stay with him…?"
Poppy sighed and nodded. "Wet and muddy quidditch players are the last thing this ward needs, but they won't be able to wake him, so I suppose they can't do any real harm."
"Thank you, Poppy…and thank you for caring for him."
She did not need to answer, only nodded solemnly in return. She had cared for Harry in worse situations and knew better than almost anyone aside from Dumbledore what Harry really went through.
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Several weeks later, Dumbledore sat in his study editing an article for Transfiguration Weekly when he heard a knock on the door, his visitor perfectly on time for his 8 o'clock appointment.
"Come in, Remus."
Remus appeared around the door, looking as well as he ever could (Dumbledore reflected that it must be about half-moon at this point).
"Good evening, Albus."
"And the same to you, Remus. How can I help you?" Dumbledore's eyes twinkled with their usual kindness and he gestured to the empty chair opposite his desk.
Remus sat and took a moment to compose his words—his reason for coming to the headmaster was not pleasant, and he knew he had to tread carefully. "I wanted to talk to you…about Harry."
Dumbledore frowned in concern. "Is he alright?"
Remus sighed. This would not be easy. "In a manner of speaking. I assume you've noticed how the dementors affect him?"
Dumbledore nodded.
"Harry and his friends were sitting in my compartment when the dementors boarded the Hogwarts Express. Harry passed out, and I used a Patronus to send the dementors away. Due to some…unpleasant encounters with them more recently—the quidditch match where you saved him, for one—he sought me out to learn how to repel them. I've been teaching him the Patronus charm."
"How is he finding it?"
"He shows enormous aptitude for it, and I would not be surprised if he could conjure a corporeal Patronus at some point in the near future."
Remus didn't think he'd mistaken the gleam of pride in Dumbledore's eyes when he said that.
"But…there's something that worries me. I told him to think of a happy memory. He couldn't think of one."
A flash of pain crossed Dumbledore's face, but he remained silent.
"Albus…he hears Voldemort murdering his parents when they get too near."
Remus had seldom seen such a somber look on Dumbledore's face, but he knew he should not have been surprised when Dumbledore murmured, "I know."
"I'm worried about him. How can a child of thirteen be incapable of thinking of a single happy memory? And I can't imagine the emotional toll that having to relive his parents' murder is taking on him. Not to mention the physical effects of passing out, of falling a hundred feet, of dealing with the aftereffects of the dementors…" Remus trailed off. They both knew the impacts that the darkness Dementors brought with them could have on young minds.
Dumbledore steepled his fingers and paused. He would not have Remus share in the burden of prioritizing Harry's safety above his happiness—that would be his responsibility and his alone to bear and mitigate as best he could. But he could not deny the things that Harry was forced to go through. He would settle on the truth—a part of it, in any case.
"I worry about Harry as well…for the reasons you've just mentioned, and…others. But each year Harry has proved that he is not an ordinary child. I wish more than I can say that I could give Harry a normal childhood and a normal Hogwarts experience, but for reasons we both understand, that is simply not possible."
"Albus, why does he have so few—hardly any—happy memories? If anyone knows, you do." Dumbledore didn't miss the accusatory note in Remus voice, but knowing even better than Remus the blame he was owed for Harry's pain, he did not comment.
"The Dursleys do not treat him well." Dumbledore hated how even his voice was.
Dumbledore noted the way Remus gripped the arms of his chair, and the wolf seemed to flash behind his eyes. When he spoke, he bit out every word.
"What do you mean, they 'don't treat him well'? Do they hurt him?"
"Their next door neighbor, Mrs. Figg, has kept an eye on him—they do not physically hurt him…but he is not treated as a member of the Dursley family. They both fear and hate magic, and they translate that onto Harry."
"Why didn't you take him away when you realized? Surely he's not going back next summer?"
"Because my priority is to keep him alive," said Dumbledore simply. "His mother's sacrifice lives on in her sister, and it offers a better protection than anything else in this world; I believe it is the only thing that could have protected him these last thirteen years."
"You could have protected him. Neither Voldemort nor any of his followers would have dared to attack him if he'd been under your protection."
"I am not so sure. He is under my protection while at Hogwarts, and yet while he was not once touched in the eleven years before he came to Hogwarts, and he has been personally attacked by Lord Voldemort and nearly killed twice in the past two years."
Remus stared at his hands. "I wish I could have taken him in."
"Our laws are unfair—"
"No, Albus, I would not be able to raise a child. It would not be safe, and I would not be able to provide for him, in any case. But I still can't help feeling that I let them down."
"James and Lily?"
Remus nodded.
"That I can assure you is not true. Harry needed to be isolated from our world, and the protection from residing at his aunt's
"Voldemort will return, and when he does, Harry will be his primary target. There will be another war, and when it comes, Harry will be forced to the frontlines."
"You're saying the worst is yet to come?"
"Without a doubt," said Dumbledore gravely. "And when the worst does come, Harry will need you."
"I'm no use to him."
"You underestimate yourself, Remus—as you so often do. You've already formed a strong connection with him—the fact that he sought you out for help with this, in an instance when he is extremely vulnerable, is proof enough. Besides, Harry's life has never, and will not for the foreseeable future, be an easy one. Your own struggles will only allow you to support him more in his."
"I'm not a parent. I'm a werewolf who failed to keep his closest friends alive."
"You are kind, and intelligent, and you care about him. You have already fought in one war against Voldemort, and so understand the stakes and sacrifices that Harry will be asked to make. You did not have a childhood—Harry has never known peace and stability either. Your hardships have not lessened your empathy and dedication to what is right; he will see that and it will bring him comfort."
"Do you really know him, Albus?"
"I have watched him more closely than anyone else…yes, I would say that I know him."
"And do you care about him?"
"Yes."
Remus was almost surprised by the level of conviction in Dumbledore's voice. He had always felt that Dumbledore cared about everyone, and thus no one in particular, but there was a depth of emotion to Dumbledore's response that Remus couldn't ignore.
Dumbledore seemed lost in thought, and Remus thought it might be a sign to leave, but as he made to get up, Dumbledore seemed to come back to the present moment.
"Forgive me, Remus. Please, sit. There are a few other things I wanted to discuss with you, if you don't mind."
Remus sank back into his chair.
"How are you holding up in general?"
Remus hadn't expected that conversation, but conversations with the headmaster never went quite as one would expect.
"I've been well. Severus has been very diligent in making the Wolfsbane potion."
"Is it helping?"
"It's worked perfectly; I've been completely lucid every full moon."
"You never fail to think of others first, Remus, but I do not merely mean whether the potion protected you from hurting others; I was also hoping it would ease the injuries you usually incur."
"The transformation is still painful, but the recovery is much faster. And thank you, Albus; things are much better than how they were."
"I believe I owe you more thanks than the reverse; the conversations in the Great Hall every morning are filled with mentions of how wonderful a teacher you are."
Remus felt his heart warm at that. With the exception of the Slytherins, from whom Remus knew better than to expect respect, he felt his students enjoyed his class and learned a lot, but it still meant so much to hear it from Dumbledore.
He was broken out of his reverie by Dumbledore's gentle tone and piercing gaze.
"Is there anything else you wanted to talk about? I know this is a difficult time."
Remus didn't need to ask what Dumbledore meant. Sirius' face greeted him every time he visited Hogsmeade, gaunt and insane, unrecognizable from the young man who had been his best friend.
"He is no longer my friend. You know I would never betray James and Lily like that."
"I did not mean to imply anything of the sort. Rather, I know the pain you must associate with him, and perhaps the worry that he will succeed in hurting Harry."
"Harry doesn't know, does he?"
Dumbledore said nothing of Remus' skirting his own question, for which Remus was grateful.
"No, Harry is not aware that Sirius Black is his godfather…nor does he fully understand the circumstances that conspired to deprive him of his parents."
"Do you think it wise to tell him, eventually?"
Dumbledore's mouth quirked slightly, though he sobered quickly. "We must, I suppose. Knowing Harry, he will find out on his own, and I would rather he heard from someone who had his best interests at heart."
"How do you think he would react?"
Dumbledore steepled his fingers. "Harry's emotion is one of his strengths, but in this case I think his response would be anger that might prove simply destructive to himself."
"Do you think he'll be alright, Albus?"
"As I mentioned before, the worst is yet to come. Voldemort will return, of that I am certain, and when he does, Harry will be his primary target—indeed, he already is, as evidenced by the incidents these past two years. My priority is to protect Harry and ensure that he survives those attacks when they come. I worry, though, about how he will cope with loss…growing up as he has, he thinks it is up to him to save everyone around him. And the fact that his parents died to save him—I worry about his propensity to blame himself for
"I can teach him how to fight dementors; I can But you know him better than I do, Albus. If there's ever anything I can do for him, please tell me. I want to help."
Dumbledore's eyes twinkled. "Thank you, Remus. That means a lot. I appreciate everything you've already done for him, and I promise I won't hesitate to reach out if I think there's anything more you could do."
Remus nodded in understanding and left the office, stopping to stroke Fawkes for a moment on his way out.
There was still a seed of anger in his heart: anger at Harry's treatment; at Dumbledore's involvement therein; at Sirius for betraying James and Lily; at Greyback for making him a werewolf; at the universe for Harry's fate, that he would always be caught up in Voldemort's violence.
It had been him against the world for as long as he could remember. He'd had James, Sirius, and Peter for a while, and then he'd been alone again, more alone than he'd been before.
But dealing with his condition had taught him long ago how to control his anger; it would not help Harry, and the thought lightened his step as he walked through the stone halls back to his office.
He had someone to fight for.
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A/N: We do switch perspectives so we get both Remus and Dumbledore's perspectives, but I hope that doesn't interfere with the flow of the story. Reviews always much appreciated, including if you have any ideas or requests for other missing moments!