"Everything hurts…" Robbie mumbled, to say Robbie didn't have a good time would be an understatement. His body is currently in pain thanks to the smacking of a lifetime that he received from Manly Dan and his boys, who made sure to take their time in using him as their punching bag. Currently he was outside of the Corduroy cabin in the snow, with bruises and a body mangled in a cartoonish way as he is moaning in pain.
As for the Corduroys? After they were done giving him the biggest beat down of Robbie's life for finding him in Wendy's room uninvited with one of her bras, they decided to go out and continue their Apocalypse training, to the relief of Robbie, though not before they gave him frightful warning about crossing them ever again;
"NEVER SCREW WITH A CORDUROY!" Manly Dan warned in his fearsome voice and Robbie squirmed after hearing the warning.
Still, he knows well that with them leaving and him unable to ask for help from them, his chance of survival is low. Not that he didn't try to explain things by the way, he was simply too busy being beaten. Anyway, no point in dwelling in failure, a few minutes resting in your intombedment like a dead man, then start walking 'unless you want to freeze to death'Robbie thought.
After a few minutes, he finally started to walk, but not without some yelps from his nerves, and initially walking like an old man with a backache, he had no idea what to do. Should he call for help? No signal, how should he find the rest of the gang? There would be a high chance he would face either Krampus or that furred dinosaur and he had no weapons or anything to use for self-defence. Should he reach the nearest settlement and call for help? He would have laughed at the thought if he wasn't wincing from pain, considering how incompetent the poilices of this misbegotten town were.
But then suddenly, he hears a scream 'Oh God, That's Tambry!'He thought, and in instinct, he followed the yell, the scream got silenced which only served to beat his heart even faster, he ran until he reached the location he heard the scream. However, when he reached it there was no sign of Tambry, the only thing he found, to his horror, was big 3 sided footprints of what clearly originated from a carnivorous dinosaur, and a fallen phone next to one of them.
'No…nonono!'Robbie's mind whirled in panic as he quickly ran toward the location of the phone and kneeled, he took the phone with it's cracked screen gently, his mind was flooding with a cocktail of disbelief and sorrowYou-u..you can't! You can't be gone!He shakly moved the hand which had Tambry's phone near him and then hazly looked all over it, trying to find any clue, and that was when disbelief was replaced with anguish.
With one hand, he punched the snow pathetically, "You-u DIMWIT!" he threw another punch, this time harder, "She is gone because of YOU!" he shouted to the night sky, but it wasn't the world he was cursing "She deserved better than YOU! She-e…deserved better than y-you…" he was cursing himself, "Th-ey…deserved better than you" and then the final stage of grief had been reached, the boy suffering as he bends over and his eyes were on the verge of tears with his hands on his face and a barrage of dark thoughts with different voices attacking his psychic, some sounding like Tambry, Wendy, his friends and even the Mystery Twins.
'Oh it always has to be about Robbie Valentino!' We are done!' 'Dude, Not cool!' 'Sometimes I wonder why I even dated you in the first place!' 'The most competent thing you ever did in your life was hypnotising Wendy!' 'What have you done in your waste of life other than brooding!?' 'And you wonder why Wendy prefers spending time with me than you!' 'Really?I matchmade you but you just couldn't stop yourself from ruining it again, COULD YOU!?' 'Don't feel bad, you did a FINE JOB in throwing your edginess all around!'.
'Wait… that can't be right'with that realisation, all the dark thoughts stopped, because he realized that there was no remains or anything to deduce that Tambry got…consumed, meaning there was a small possibility that she survived. Lucky for him, the snow had stopped falling so the Beast of Partridge Creek's footprint was visible, he had no weapons, no means of defence and not even the Pines's experience, yet even so, distress has overridden the logical and self-preserving part of his mind 'Please don't be eaten, please don't be eaten, pleasedontbeeaten…'that train of thought kept running in his mind as he followed the footprints, which made him blind to the incoming collision of a stick to his head 'WHAT THE-!?'SMACKAnd everything went dark.
Unknown amount of time later…
"Owwww…'Robbie's eyes slowly opened as he moans from his newfound headache. "Well look who woke up from his beauty sleep" A deadpan tone stated, which was clearly aimed toward Robbie. "Ehmm, huh? Tambry! You're alive! I saved you!" Robbie remarked triumphantly.
"Want to check your facts again?" said the sarcastic female. When Robbie looked around, he noticed he was with Tambry and others, who were currently roped to a big stick which was over a raging fire and kept it's balance thanks to two other sticks on one end and the other as the rotating stick the teens were bound to was controlled by none other than Krampus himself.
"Oh…" Robbie replied in realizarion.
" 'Oh' Indeed!" Tambry vocalised in response, tone dripping with sarcasm.
"I'm starting to see why Dipper and Mabel usually do their adventures alone," Gideon noted in irritation.
"I don't feel well with all the swirling…" A nearly green Thompson spoke.
"Don't you dare vomite dude! I want to be cooked cleanly!" Lee ordered.
"You're all here!?" Robbie exclaimed.
"Yes, emo, of course we all wanted to be cooked alive!" Gideon retorted angrily.
"Chill, dude! This is no time for sarcasm!" Nate stated.
"If anything this is the perfect time." Gideon commented gloomly.
"How did you all end up here??" Robbie inquired, and Tambrey rolled her eyes;
"Simple, dumb and dumber ran to the very last place we saw Krampus last time-"
"It wasn't by intent!" Nate and Lee simultaneously cut inher.
"-Thompson and the 9 year old ended up in the very dent of the lion-
"I'm 10 you screen addict goth!" Gideon voiced in outrage.
"-And I got chased by Krampy's pet which turned out to be the oversized lizard that attacked us and I was too busy fainting and losing a year of my life from terror." Tambry finished in such a bland tone that it amazed Robbie on how nonchalant she was about all this.
"That's…very informative." Robbie declared.
"I can't believe I'm going to be served on a dish with a bunch of ruffians!" Gideon complained.
"HEY! Who you call a ruffin you little twerp! At least I didn't have a psychotic breakdown because I couldn't take rejection!" Robbie
"At least I didn't stalk my ex over a breakup like a kicked puppy!" Gideon retaliated with such poison that Robbie's face went outraged.
"Ooooooooh!" Nate and Lee said spontaneously "You got burned!" Lee uttered in amazement.
"Well you…" everyone waited for his response, "Your suit is tacky!" Gideon's mouth gaped at that accusation.
"HOW DARE YOU! You have a crappy taste in fashion! You're like a corpse dressed for a funeral with 20 litres of injected angst!" Gideon counteracted.
"YEAH! Your sense of fashion is…not fashiony" Thompson answered in an attempt to support Gideon.
" 'fashiony??' " Robbie vocalised with one of his eye brows coming up.
"Since when did you become snarky?" Nate questioned in wonder.
"Today, and because I've lost all the patience I had for being the laughing stock of the group!" Thompson shouted.
"We didn't force you into anything!" Nate vocalised in protest.
"That was because I was desperate to have friends and the only one in this group that kept trying to keep the peace! You know what? Giddy is right! I'm done being the clown in this group, next time you can have your mom's car being punched in the roof and see how you like it!" Thompson declared in rightous frustration.
"There is no next time genius because we will be kebabs by then!" Tambry snapped ,and with that, the conversation fell into a heated mess of accusations and insults like a group therapy gone wrong, though considering they were a dysfunctional gang of hormonal drunk teenagers with angst and insecurities to deal with, it was inevitable.
"CHILDREN! CHILDREN! CHIIILDREN!" Krampus brought the atrocity of social therapy to an end before it got more preposterous,"This teenage sitcom was amusing at first, but it is getting really festery and making me lose my appetite, so I'm going to shut you all up by telling you why you have been beyond naughty;inee, mennie, miney, starting YOU!" Krampus points at Thompson;"You are a pushover who, despite not being thrilled by vandalism, or forced in any way, get yourself voluntarily involved just to look 'Cool'." He used two fingers of each of his hairy hands to emphasise, resulting in Thompson looking shameful.
"As for the dumb twins." he was gesturing to the offended Nate and Lee.
"You always goad your friends to humiliate themselves unless they chicken out and everything is a joke for you, even if it means hurting others."
"That's not true ya horned furry! We never hurt anyone!" Lee objected.
"Like your little prank with Mcgucket?" Krampus questioned smugly, which led to both of them cringe. "I mean, granted it wasn't physical abuse and I may be a child eating nightmare from Alpine folklore, but mocking some poor bastard who lives in the dump with severe mental issues? Now that's low even for me." Krampus continued his reasoning with a condescending tone.
"It wasn't like that…" Nate uterred in defeat.
"On the contrary boyo, it was EXACTLY like that!" Krampus upbraided whilst he moved toward Tambry. "As for you?"
"What about me?" Tambry questioned.
"You're the social equivalent of a media karen so figure that out for yourself." Tambry expression changed in indignation with a gaped face.
"Now Roberty my boy! Your turn!" Krampus pointed at Robbie with a finger. "You are an insecure nihilistic man baby with self-destructive tendencies who, instead of being open about his thoughts and feelings, puts on an edgy act and is an ass to even those who are close to you in order to look tough, while using pity to prey on others." Robbie's face went sour " 'Oh look at this piece of work! I can't stand his moaning! I suppose I'll bring him into my circle of friends or matchmake him!' " continued Krampus in a mocking tone while Robbie's face became even more sour from the 3rd degree roasting.
"As for you, HA!" Gideon got startled by Krampus calling him "Where do I even begin with you? You are a spoiled brat who for a 'No' has gone psychotic and planned obscure plots the likes of which only Saturday night-cartoon joke villains could think of, all because the girl you liked wasn't interested,Aowie!" Krampus said mockingly with an emphasis on the last part.
"I changed!" Gideon outcried.
"HAHAHAHAHAHA! HEHEHEHEHE!" Krampus continued in his mocked laughter which served to infuriate Gideon.
"Oh please, the only reason why you decided to switch sides is to become a 'person worthy of loving' which is none other than the object of YOUR infatuation! Like all 'nice guys' you only play nice as long as you get the girl no matter how slim the possibility is! Otherwise, tell me you no longer desire for Mabel." Krampus quizzes Gideon.
"...I…Eh…" Gideon couldn't think of anything before looking down in shame.
"That's what I thought! Shame Wendy isn't here because I have a full speech ready for her! Still…in my expertise as the haunter of naughty children; you. All. Are. Full of. DOOKIES!" After waiting a minute for dramatic silence giving his proclamation, Krampus continued to swing the stick as all the teens became silent in shame.
The ashamed silence continued until it was interrupted by none other than Robbie himself "You're right…" That grabbed Krampus's attention, as well as the others. "I am self-destructive, all this is just so that I could look cool, when in reality I never felt adequate as myself." While Robbie was busy making a self-defacing monologue, Gideon got an idea, "I had every chance for happiness and yet I blew them all away, I have been a massive jerk to others, yet I expected others to not be unhappy with me and maybe I still am…" Gideon used this moment of distraction to enact his plan "My friends deserve better, my girlfriend deserves better than you and me…let them go and, just take me instead, they may have done wrong but at least they became better and have grown, what am I still?" Gideon made low-pitched voices in low volume "The same moody teenager who never grew up from his angst in a dead end, so take me instead." Robbie finished, this willingness of self-sacrifice stunning the others, Robbie Valentino, the coward who was willing to ditch them in the haunted store, and the very first time Krampus showed up? The emo who only cares when it benefits him? To say they didn't expect this act of selflessness and humility from him of all people would be an understatement, and as for Gideon? He was busy making weird sounds.
"Oh my my, I almost shed a tear…" Krampus used one of his indexes to rub on his eye " OH CRY ME A RIVER! 'Boohoo! I'm just a misguided jerk so I'm going to get clean at the VERY end!' redemption arcs are overrated anyway, I prefer punishment! " Krampus hissed, then suddenly out of nowhere, The Beast of the Partridge Creek showed up running towards them "Crock? What is it boy-?" The dinosaur paid no attention as it held a grunt and ran past him, next it moved past the stick in which the kids were roped into to their startlement, resulting in the stick to be broken and the fire being turned off by the creature's foot.
"Woah! That was scary!" Nate exclaimed,
"Yeah dude! Wait.." Lee after conquering checked around and realized he and the others are free "We' are-"
"WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR YOU DROOLING IDIOTS!? SHAKE YOUR STUPIDLY LONG LEGS AND RUUUN!" Gideon ordered as he and everyone started running.
"Whot…HEY, NO FAIR! My monologue wasn't finished yet!" Krampus starts following them.
"THE HUT! EVERYONE TO THE HUT!" Robbie yelled.
Everyone indeed ran towards Krampus's hut, fortunately the makeshift hut was open conveniently, because of horror tropes. Upon entering, they barricaded the door using a table and some random junks in time as the door kept being pushed to no avail.
"Ha! Bet he didn't see that coming!" Lee elated triumphantly.
"We can gloat once we survive! Everyone get something to defend!" Gideon ordered, Krampus was still busy pushing the door.
"I know this is a bad time, but what got that chicken with teeth to go nuts?" Nate implored.
"That was me, since technically dinosaurs are ancestors to birds, I decided to mimic the mating calls of some birds I know in a last ditch effort!" Gideon answered.
"Dude, you had memorized mate callings of birds? that is so nerd-" before Nate could finish.
"Ornithology is a part time hobby of mine okay jock!?" Gideon responded in vexation, "Oh jolly, I'm sounding like Dipper!" Gideon thought out loud, in irritation. By the time he reached that revelation, Tambry had a knife, Lee was with a small hammer, Nate with a Pan, Robbie with a wrench, Gideon held a screwdriver and Thompson with-
"A pen? You brought a pen!?" Tambry inquired in bafflement.
"The pen is mightier than a Sword." Thompson responded sagely.
"That's not-! GAH!" Tambry decided to let that slide.
"Oh is that how you want to do it then? Fine, have it your way!" Krampus threatened.
Suddenly, every antique toy from wooden puppets to wooden trains, toy wooden cars and dolls starts moving toward the gang.
"Oh no…" Gideon uttred, as he remembered these guys, to his displeasure.
"Maybe they're friendly?" Thompson asked in desperate optimism, the curse of the young, and that optimism got answered by the toys bringing tools to use as weapons from needles to glass shards and even coals.
"I would be scared, but this is just bizarre." Tambry reacted with raised eyebrows.
"Sick them boys!" and so by Krampus's command, they attacked as the gang with their defensive tools(a pen in Thompson's case) ran towards them roaring.
Note:And this is how you develop a bunch of one dimensional side characters!