"YAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" That was the not-so-glorious sound of the ragtag group of delinquents charging toward the attacking toys, the result? Not so glorious.
"Ow! Ow! Will you stop throwing coals at me!" complained Robbie as he tried to defend himself from the throwing coals with a punch of puppets using his wrench as a shield, which he did so badly.
"FIRE! FIRE! MY HAMMER IS ON FIRE!" Lee shouted while holding his hammer upside-down, with somehow put the wooden part of his hammer ablaze, probably something to do with a small lantern
"HEY! That's my knife, get your own!" Tambry struggled against a bunch of dolls who were taking her knife.
Gideon on the other hand was having the time of his life;
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! DIE! DIE!" Gideon laughed psychotically as he used his screwdriver to repeatedly dig into a doll's body.
"Remind me again, why wasn't he sent to a mental hospital?" the goth girl questioned in morbid curiosity, which no one answered.
"Yeh, Ah! Hold on, this needs practice." Nate stated as he was trying to use his pan to attack a bunch of toy cars.
"Allow me." Thomspon took his pan and yeeted the two attacking wooden cars.
"Oh, that's how you do it." Nate uttered, promoting the social media girl to roll her eyes.
Krampus looked from a crack in the door to see this absolute dumpster fire in the fold, the fire part being literal thanks to Lee.
"I don't know whether I should feel amused at this predicament or be mad at the brats for setting my hut on fire." the horned demon stated in puzzlement.
The hut was indeed lit on fire.
"ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?" Robbie shouted at Lee.
"Wasn't my fault!" Lee commented with his hands in a global gesture of not being responsible, which was a lie.
Thanks to Lee throwing the fiery hammer at a bunch of wooden toys in his wisdom, he caused a fire inside of the hut which was now spreading with every moment.
"Quick! The window!" Robbie declared as he used his wrench to break it, and so they one by one tried to get out of the window.
"Going somewhere?" Krampus asked in a far-too-innocent tone, while he was in front of them from outside of the window.
"...You know what? This is one to five, I say we kick this geezer's ass!" Robbie declared.
"Agreed" the others concur as they and Robbie move toward their tormentor.
"Then allow me to teach you slackers, a lesson!" the cryptide brought out his stick, ready to fight.
"GIT' EM" Gideon yelled as he and the others charged him so as their target.
Somewhere in Fiddleford's Mansion…
Mayor Cutebiker felt as if someone stole his line.
However, he shrugged it off as he started his mantra in his poker game with a Manotaur who was puzzled by this game, a Gnome, and a bald slender guy with a lot of tentacles.
"Git you all!" He threw his card, and everyone groaned as an enraged Manotaur tossed the table.
"AAAAAAGGGH!" roared Robbie as he charged toward Krampus, only for the man to quickly react with his staff and land a critical hit on half of the teens body.
"...OooohhhAAAHHH! '' Robbie bellowed in pain as he nearly lost his balance with his legs changing position in an upside V state.
"Ooooooh!" Everyone except Tambry cringed at the attack, the goatman hit the bad spot.
" *Panting breath*not my groin…" Robbie panted with an expression of blissful pain as he fell.
"Don't be such a baby! It' is just a hit in the nuts!" his girlfriend replied callously.
She and the others continued their attack, but as it turns out, Krampus was quite skillful with his staff.
Tambry tried a kick, but then Krampus dodged her kick and punched the staff right in her stomach.
"Awwoo…" the purple haird goes down from the pain as her hand is on her stomach.
A chihuahua cry is heard from an attacking Gideon as he jumps on him, yet the horned devil with one hand keeps him in the air.
"OPEN SESAME!" Krampus starts using his other hand to dishevel Gideon's hair.
"NO! NOT MY PERFECT HAIR!" Gideon shrieked at his pompadour being dishevelled mercilessly by the boogeyman.
"I'M COMING, LITTLE DUDE!" Thompson tried to land strike and succeeded.
"..."
"..."
Except he was a sissy puncher since the punch did nothing on Krampus.
SMACK"YEEOOW!" Thompson wailed in pain from the Staff being thrashed on his right leg and on reflex tried to reach his right foot, only for the furry humanoid to smack his staff on his head, after which he fell.
"Seriously, I know kids way younger than you who can fight better than any of you." he spoke to Gideon with his wild hair as if he just got electrocuted.
"YAAAAAAAH!" Lee and Nate charged from the right and left of Krampus respectively.
In one smooth move, bipedal goat dodges their attacks, resulting in both of the idiots colliding with each other with a loud *thunk* from their heads.
"HEY!" Krampus takes his notice toward the source of the shout, which was none other than Tambry herself "You think you're done with me you cringe? I'm gonna cancel your-" "WEAAAAAAH!" Gideon screams like a chihuahua as he is thrown by force on the karen's face, leading to both of them stumbling on the ground.
"Cancel this karen!" the alpine beast stands triumphantly as his enemies around groaning in pain.
"Oh well, I wanted to do this fresh, but I suppose I have to do it with dead meat." he grabs a knife from his pocket which was very sharp and looked like a kitchen knife but yet was crude.
"Wait, wait!" Krampus grabs Thompson by the collar while Thompson frantically struggles to get free.
"Fattest first!"he said maliciously as he readies his knife with his free left hand to impale the terrified Thompson.
"NO!" the child-eater stopped doing what he intended he was to do due to the cry.
"TAKE ME INSTEAD! I'm the biggest jerk in the town!" Robbie declared.
"NAH! Take me instead! I LITERALLY made a deal with an eldritch horror beyond comprehension!" Gideon announced as he got up.
"Go for me! I post cringe on social media!" Tambry spoke.
"I was the one spraying on Mcgucket's dump!" Nate voiced.
"I was the one who had the idea!" Lee stated.
Every one of them started a "Who sinned the most" game as each kept trying to sacrifice themselves for the sake of Thompson whose eyes got watery at seeing that heiscared for by his friends 'I Do have worth…'Thompson thought.
"Oh please, no need to be eager, I will go for you all!" Krampus brought his knife and was ready to stab Thompson.
"NOOOOOOOOOO!" Everyone started to scream as Thompson in fear closed his eyes and crunched his upper and lower jaws from the incoming sharp knife. Except for the Knife upon touching the skin of his throat didn't cut through.
"Huh?..." Thompson slowly opened his eyes and realized the knife is actually made of rubber as it bended with each touch.
"Gotcha!" the goat demon grinned as put Thompson down.
Everyone was dumbfounded by this, jaws were opened and eyes went big.
"What?" Robbie uttered in bafflement.
"It's a rubber trick, see?" Krampus put the knife on his finger as the knife bent.
"...I'm so confused!" Gideon remarked.
"Oh, that? Well good news for you all, none of you were ever in any danger, HAHAHAHA!" the demonic goat said as he started laughing.
That revelation splashed on everyone like water.
"WHAAAAT!?" Thompson wailed.
"I mean really? Why would I want to cook something while they have clothes? That's like cooking a chicken with its feathers; Besides, human meat is too rigid." Krampus reasoned and expressed disgust.
"B-but I saw a book about how to cook naughty children in your kitchen!" Gideon called in disbelief.
"Oh, that? That was from some weirdo who is apparently Summerween's boogeyman (Whatever that holiday is supposed to be), that guy had a weird fascination with being eaten alive, but couldn't even write properly in his diary, hence the miswriting." he bleached at reminiscing.
"THAT'S-" Robbie yelled.
"JUST-" Tambry howled.
"FREAKING-" Gideon roared as he started tearing his own hair.
"STUPIIIIIIIID!" Everyone spontaneously cried out in outrage and bewilderment.
"I know right? Why the heck anyone would have a thing for being eaten? That guy was disturbed." Krampus used one of his fingers to tap at his head, oblivion to what the kids meant.
"But why the whole thing!?" Gideon was so confused that he nearly cried from it.
"Isn't that obvious? I'm Krampus, it is practically my job description to punish children for misbehaving." the boogeyman of alpine replied.
"SO!" Robbie tapped his hands together "What you saying is that we were never in any real danger because the whole thing was a…PRANK!?" Robbie uttered in bewilderment.
"No, it was to punish you all." Krampus responded nonchalantly.
"SO! What you are saying is that you are just a sicko who gets his kicks in traumatizing the youth for his own amusement!" Robbie spread his hands all around in exasperation as his right eye twitched.
"No, to teach you a lesson! You young folks think you are invincible and that the world REVOLVES around you, what's a point in some lecture when your own egos are too big for your ears?" the old goat responded. Everyone looked in befuddlement and some cases like Tambry, Gideon, and Robbie were in utter outrage. Robbie's girlfriend's face was twitching, the emo's mouth was held-open and the 10 year old looked like he was going to have a stroke at any moment.
"Oh well, you all learned your lesson in being not so much a butthurt with the people around you, so I'm on my way." Krampus answered and started walking away from them; however, before Robbie and Tambry even had the chance to shriek at him…
"Wait a sec, what about that dinosaur?" Lee inquired.
"Crock? Don't worry, he is domesticated by me, so no one was ever in the danger of being eat-'' That was the last thing they heard Krampus say as then out of nowhere he gets grabbed from the upper body by The Beast of Partridge Creek.
"WOAH-WHAT THE-!" Everyone yelps in surprise as Crock starts swallowing Krampus.
"I guess there IS some truth in domesticated snakes eating their owners…" Tambry uttered in morbid apprehension.
"Umm… shouldn't we run while Crock is busy?" Thompson questioned.
"Yeah.. we should!" Robbie concurred as everyone started running.
"How did it become so sneaky…" Gideon wondered, exasperated, as he ran with others.