The following evening when they stopped for the night, Mattox once again placed his tent away from the others. He did join them for supper, even though he chose to sit at a bit of a distance. He found himself enjoying Leliana's tale about Andraste, and after she finished her story, Oghren and Zevran offered some colorful anecdotes of their own. Mattox couldn't help but laugh at the elf and dwarf's crude offerings. Some of the subject matter they brought up was not proper to speak of in mixed company, but the women of the group didn't seem to mind. These people were definitely not the type that Mattox typically associated with—not that he ever really associated with anyone.

Sabrina had been right. Other than Alistair, Mattox didn't have any friends. He was the type of person who was too afraid of sounding like a fool to ever speak his mind. The other templars at Kinloch were men of far more experience than Mattox, so he never had anything to say that would add to their conversations. When he first arrived at the tower, he took a lot of good-natured ribbing from the other men. He was left alone after a while because the others realized that he was never going to come out of his shell.

The hour was getting late, so the camp decided it was time to retire for the evening. Mattox stood to return to his tent when a big hand push him back down.

"You're turn to take first watch tonight, templar." Oghren's gruff voice rang out from behind him. He half turned to look at the dwarf who seemed as if he were about to fall over in a drunken stupor. Mattox nodded but didn't say anything.

"Hmph! Don't talk much do ya?" Oghren eyed him suspiciously for a moment before a broad grin overtook his bearded face. "Aah, I get it—the strong silent type. He-he-he. Women love that shit. I'm just not tall enough to pull it off, so I gotta rely on my rugged good looks and natural charm to win 'em over. Having a big trouser snake don't hurt none either." He winked then plopped onto the ground next to Mattox. He leaned against the templar before indicating to Leliana's tent with a nod of his head. The Sister was rummaging through her pack in search of something.

"I noticed the red head checkin' ya out during dinner. I think ya might have a good shot with her if ya play yer cards right." Oghren offered.

Leliana must have found what she was searching for because she closed up her pack and threw it back into her tent. She turned and gave Mattox a coy smile and wave, causing the templar's face to flush. He managed to return a small wave of his own before averting his gaze to the ground in front of him.

Oghren, who had been watching the exchange, shook his head and sighed. "Don't tell me you're another virgin like the other boy. Sod it ta hell! What's wrong with you humans? Don't they teach ya what women are for up here on the surface?"

Zevran appeared on Mattox's other side. "Maybe he's more interested in men, Oghren. I've heard that about both boys who have been raised in the Chantry and templars in general." Mattox shot Zevran a worried frown. The elf's lower lip jutted in a mock pout. "No?" He sighed. "More's the pity. I suppose it was too much to hope for that a big handsome man such as yourself would be interested in someone of his own sex. Your loss really. I have been told that I possess a certain talent when it comes to oral pleasure."

Mattox gave him a weak smile. He didn't know what to say to that. He knew some men in the Order who were strictly interested in their own gender, but he wasn't one of them. It wasn't as if he took issue with such things. He just never found another man who piqued his interest in such a way. If he were to be completely honest, there was only one person whom he ever thought about in that manner. He peered up at Zevran.

"Sorry. You're just not my…type."

The elf remained silent and shrugged before making his way to his tent for the night. Mattox hoped his words didn't offend the man. He didn't exactly like Zevran, but not for that reason. Mattox's dislike of the elf had more to do with the way he flirted with Sabrina.

Mattox glanced at Oghren as the dwarf through a couple of stray sticks into the fire. "Don't worry, boy. I don't understand it either. Why any man would wanna do that with another man…I don't get it. But to each his own I always say. Just means more women for old Oghren to play with, eh?"

The templar's chest heaved with a sigh. He really hoped he hadn't hurt Zevran's feelings, or worse, the elf thought him a bigot. Oghren elbowed Mattox hard. The templar rubbed his arm and winced as the dwarf pointed to Sabrina's shaking tent.

The dwarf laughed. "If the tent's a rockin' don't go a knockin', eh? He-he." Mattox had to push down the sick, angry feeling rising in his chest. Oghren remained oblivious as he continued. "Those two go at it like that every single night. It's a good thing that boy's in such good shape, 'cause the boss would wear him out otherwise."

Mattox turned his head to avoid looking in that direction anymore. When he did, he met Leliana's sharp blue gaze. The red-headed woman seemed to have been watching him from where she sat next to her tent. Her brows pleated together as she studied his face. He pressed his lips together in a tight smile to hide the pain he felt. If Leliana's expression was any indication, he was doing a poor job of it. Oghren must have noticed the exchange between them but took it for something else.

He elbowed the templar and leaned against him. "Yep, give it a few days and the right words and you'll be makin' the little ginger moan." He lowered his voice into a graveled whisper. "I can even give ya a few pointers if ya like, son." Mattox smiled and shook his head. He actually found himself warming up to Oghren, despite the dwarf's drunken crudeness, The diminutive man's obsession with women and booze was a refreshing change from the stalwartness of the Chantry and the Order.

"No thank you, Oghren."

The dwarf shrugged again. "Suit yerself, but old Oghren's here if ya ever change yer mind."

"Thanks."

Oghren clambered to his feet and stumbled off into the dark of the forest. Mattox wondered if he should follow the dwarf to ensure he didn't get lost or pass out in the woods, but before he could make up his mind, Oghren reappeared and fell into his tent. Within seconds, he started to snore like a bronto in heat, so Mattox knew the man was alright.

By the time the templar returned his attention to the fire, he realized that he was alone and the noises from Sabrina's tent had stopped. It seemed that everyone else had turned in for the evening. He moved closer to the fire and began poking at it with a long stick.

When the smoke started to sting his tired eyes, he ceased stoking the fire. He glanced back up at Sabrina's tent to see Alistair crawling out alone wearing a pair of heavy trousers and a loose shirt instead of his warden uniform. At first, Mattox assumed Alistair was headed for the nearest when he pulled his boots on and walked away from his tent without lacing them. Instead, he made his way to the fire to stand in front of Mattox.

"Mind if I join you for a few minutes?" he asked. Mattox shook his head and indicated for Alistair to sit. A long awkward silence developed between them as they watched the large flames consume the wood within the pit.

After a while, Alistair turned his attention to Mattox. "We haven't really spoken since Kinloch. How are you holding up, Ace?"

Mattox continued staring into the fire and shifted uncomfortably. "I'm fine."

Alistair picked up a small twig laying next to his foot and started drawing shapes in the dirt in front of him. "You know that if you ever need to talk…you know about what happened…I'm here for you."

"Thanks." Mattox replied. He didn't know what to say to Alistair. He appreciated the fact that his friend offered to lend an ear, but he couldn't get past the feeling that Alistair was dancing around what he really wanted to say.

Another long, uncomfortable silence filled the air broken only by the crackling and popping of the fire. After what seemed like an eternity, Alistair sighed deeply.

"Look, I don't know any other way to say this, so I'm just going to say it." He leaned forward and rested his forearms on his upper thighs. "I've seen the way you look at Sabrina. As often as we've written each other over the years, you never mentioned her—not once. I had no idea." He drew in a sharp breath before beginning again. "Sabrina and I…we've been through a lot together over the past couple of months. When this whole thing started, I honestly never expected to fall in love with her. It just kind of happened."

Mattox couldn't look at his friend, lest his eyes betray his sadness. He listened silently as Alistair continued. "The point is, I do love her. I've never felt this way about anyone—ever. You're my best friend, Mattox, and I know you have feelings for her…but I just can't give her up. I'm sorry and I hope you and I can still be friends."

The templar's eyes glazed over as he stared off into nothingness. He recalled the first time he met Alistair. The boy was angry because he had been dumped at the Chantry, far away from the only life he had ever known. Mattox realized what it felt like to be that alone and unwanted. He made himself break through his usual shyness to offer to give Alistair a tour of the monastery. At first the boy was reluctant but eventually decided that he had nothing better to do. So, he allowed Mattox to lead him around for the next hour. Just as Mattox was explaining the Revered Mother's rules on staying out of the kitchen larders, an older much larger boy approached. the two boys. The older boy punched Mattox in the ribs as hard as he could as he passed—a time honored tradition for many of the other boys. Mattox dropped to the floor from the blow.

Alistair's cheeks flushed bright red, and he jumped on the older child's back to pummel him. By the time the kitchen servants pulled Alistair off, the other boy was covered in bruises and bleeding from every orifice of his face.

Mattox remembered Alistair's words like it happened yesterday. "Bloody bully. Maybe now he'll learn not to pick on people thatare smaller than him."

He managed to help Mattox up off the floor before one of the old Sisters grabbed them both by the ear and dragged them to the Revered Mother for punishment. They were made to scour pots after every meal for the next week—a chore which they both became very accustomed to over the years they spent at the monastery together. Mattox found out rather quickly that Alistair was a troublemaker. Alistair would play pranks on the sisters or tell wild falsehoods and off he would go back the scullery to atone for his transgressions. The sister usually sent Mattox along as well because they considered him guilty by association.

Now Mattox was faced with the possibility of losing the only friend he ever had. No matter how much he cared about Sabrina, he refused to let go of that friendship. He would just have to learn to live with the fact that they were together, and that she was in love with his best friend. Mattox had his opportunity to be with her, and he let it pass him by. That was not Alistair's fault.

Out of the corner of his eye, he spotted Alistair rising to his feet. "Wait." He said in a strangled voice. Alistair stopped and settled back down to listen. After exhaling a long breath, Mattox managed to meet the other man's gaze.

"You're my best friend, Alistair. I could never begrudge you for wanting to be happy. The fact is that I am first and foremost a templar. You know that's all I ever wanted to be. No matter how I felt about Sabrina, I could never be with her. I couldn't think of anyone who would be better for her than you. She's a very special woman and you're a very lucky man."

"Don't I know it," Alistair said with a smile. "Thanks for understanding, Ace."

Mattox rubbed his hands across his upper thighs as he searched for the right way to pose a question. After a long moment, he asked, "Can I make one request though?" Alistair's eyes narrowed as he gave a wary nod. "Would it be okay with you if Sabrina and I were friends—just friends."

The Warden chuckled as he slapped the templar on the back. "Of course it's okay. You should have known that you didn't even need to ask."

"I just wasn't sure how you'd feel about it, given the circumstances."

Alistair raised an eyebrow. "Wait…you're not planning to try and steal her away from me, are you? 'Cause if you are, go ahead and tell me now so I can start searching for the hole I'm going to bury you in."

Mattox managed a smile. He had forgotten how much he missed Alistair's brand of humor. "Of course not, and if I ever try, you have my solemn vow that I'll dig the hole myself."

"Deal!" said Alistair, offering his knuckles to his friend. Mattox bumped his fist against the warden's to seal the pact. With the awkwardness out to the way, the two men spent the remainder of Mattox's watch catching up and reminiscing about the past. It wasn't until Sten woke to take over for Mattox that the two friends finally went to bed.

After that night, Mattox began to open up more, not only to Alistair and Sabrina, but to the rest of the group as well. He even tried to talk to Morrigan a few times, but she quickly dismissed him. Alistair told him that it wasn't a big loss, considering she was the biggest bitch in Thedas.

Mattox's biggest problem was the fact that each day he found himself falling for Sabrina even harder. The closer they became as friends and the more he got to know her, the more he grew to love her. He tried to push his feelings aside. He even tried to make himself warm to Leliana's advances, but he just couldn't do it. His heart belonged to one woman, and there was nothing he could do to change it.

In the end, he resolved himself to do what he had always done—consider her unattainable and love her from a distance. Some days, that was more difficult than others because there were times when he could have sworn that she looked at him with more than friendship in her eyes. The most notable example happened the day that they arrived in Denerim.

That day in the city was trying to say the least. On the way to see the scholar, Alistair asked Sabrina if they could stop by an address near the alienage so he could meet his sister, Goldanna. Sabrina agreed and even entered Goldanna's house with him. It turned out that Alistair's sister was a greedy bitch who didn't want anything to do with Alistair unless he promised to provide for her and her children "in the manner they deserved." She knew of Alistair's royal parentage and blamed both him and his father, King Maric, for her mother's death. The bastard prince learned a hard lesson about human nature that day, but Sabrina managed to help him through it.

Their next stop was Brother Genitivi's house. When they arrived, the scholar's apprentice greeted them, but something seemed off about the man. They soon discovered that the man was an imposter who had murdered the Brother's real apprentice and hidden the body in the back bedroom. Fortunately, Genitivi had left enough of his research behind to find him. According to his papers, he had discovered that the Urn's location was near a small uncharted village called Haven. Genitivi even left a map pinpointing the location of the hamlet.

Before they left the city that afternoon to return to their camp, Sabrina insisted that Mattox needed new armor. She said that the templar crest emblazoned across his chest made Morrigan jumpy. She bought him another set of heavy plate armor that made him look like any other warrior. When he tried it on in the shop to make sure it fit correctly, he noticed Sabrina admiring his form with more than platonic interest. Mattox tried to tell himself that it was just his imagination, but there was no mistaking the look of lust in her eyes as he made sure he could move properly in the attire. For the rest of the day and evening, he caught her staring at him when Alistair wasn't paying attention.

Over the next few weeks, they made their way to the unknown village in western Ferelden, Other than a few run-ins with bandits and highwaymen, the trip was relatively uneventful, giving Mattox and Sabrina ample time to form a much closer bond. Her sense of humor and gentle mannerisms made her easy to talk to, which made Mattox wonder why he had wasted so many years in fear of conversations with her.

He thought Alistair might have a problem with their growing friendship, but his friend never showed any sign that he minded. Even though the mission they were on was one of grave importance, Mattox found that he had never enjoyed life more. Unfortunately, reality always had a way of rearing its ugly head. That fact became apparent when they finally reached Haven.