It had been an amazing night, they had had a proper date.
A goodbye before they moved on.
No farewells or prom.
Just now.
"No. This is just a detour."
Castiel was grateful, a few extra moments with him.
Silence and heartbeats.
Nothing else.
"You can't just leave me after this." Castiel said quietly, his eyes were watering.
Fuck.
"I know." Dean replied, eyes on the road.
"So are you?"
"Am I what?"
"Are you leaving me?"
"Maybe. Yes. No. Maybe."
"That's not an answer."
"It's enough of one."
"No it's not."
"Is so."
"I'm not arguing with you on this. I want an answer."
"Cas, you know I can't give you one..." He could have sworn that Dean was crying by the way he was swiping his eyes.
"Why not?" Insistent as always.
Frustration in his voice. "Because you've seen my life. I've moved away from you so much, but you keep finding me."
"We keep finding each other."
"If I didn't know any better, I'd think you were stalking me."
"You and I both know that I'm too broke to do that."
"Got an extra one of those?" He was eyeing Castiel's smokes.
He passed them and the lighter, watching Dean light up while keeping his eyes on the road.
Smoke trailed through the open window, it was almost poetry.
Almost.
It would be if it wasn't for the pang in his heart and the ache growing in his chest.
It was almost.
Always a fucking almost.
Dean pulled up his street. It was almost over.
Castiel couldn't look at him, just out the window at the houses surrounding them on either side.
"I can't believe this is over."
"It's not. Just...for right now."
"And if it's not just for right now?"
Dean reached out and laced his weathered fingers through Castiel's pale ones.
"Then I'll have to meet you in the next one."
"Dean..."
The engine was killed, Cas hadn't noticed that they had stopped.
"No, Cas. I'm serious. I'll find you there if I can't now."
"Promise me that you'll wait for me until then."
"Dean, you're starting to scare me." A nervous chuckle.
Dean would get like this sometimes, jokingly suicidal, but this was...raw? Was that word?
"Don't be scared. Just promise."
"Baby..."
"No."
His voice was cracking.
"Please, Cas."
Cas leaned forward and cupped Dean's stubbly face.
"I promise."
A long, drawn out kiss and a squeeze of the hand and Castiel was out of the car and walking up his driveway.
He looked back as he got to the door and he could see the lights still on, the window was down.
"I'll see you soon." Dean yelled, the dark obscuring his face.
It made his heart clench, he wanted to run back.
Castiel laughed and felt his eyes shining.
Goodbye's were never easy.
"Take care, Dean."
"You too, Cas."
"Goodnight."
"Goodnight."
And Castiel went inside, knowing his parents were waiting until he got in to go to bed.
As the door clicked behind him, he could have sworn he heard an "I love you."
But he wasn't sure.
-
Morning came and he was getting dressed, wearing Dean's old flannel and a nagging hole in his heart.
The morning of a high school junior.
Breakfast.
The bus without Dean, so headphones.
Wandering around school until the bell rang.
Usually Dean would be around, but he wasn't here.
He shot him a text.
This was supposed to be his last day before he moved.
It was the nagging pit that made him worry more.
He went to his locker, opened the door.
A note fell out.
He opened it with shaking hands.
"CASTIEL" was written in the front in Dean's handwriting.
He opened it carefully, his eyes watering as he suddenly understood.
"Castiel,
I should have said more. I should have ran sooner. But I didn't.
I'll see you soon. Live a happy life and I'll meet you when I meet you.
The roads long, baby. Don't let it hurt you.
I love you.
-Dean"
Jokingly suicidal. Always joking.
John wouldn't contact the school. Not with how much they moved around.
Sam wasn't there. Yesterday was his last day.
And in the same sense,
it was Dean's last day too.
"I understand...See you soon." Castiel mumbled, shoving the note in his pocket.
It made sense...
"See you soon, Dean."