Re:Zero - Endless Journey, a re:zero fanfic

This is my sort of experiment to see if anyone would be interested in reading this fic. I do hope you would enjoy it.

-Arrival-

A figure overlooked a grave. It was a hazy image, yet it was as clear as the blue skies you would see on a warm and sunny day. The figure was greatly obscured, but it was clear that he was a man, wearing a fedora, and a white but dirtied overcoat. A sigh, able to be heard and with some reluctance, he turned away to walk in the ever-growing dark void that began to surround the dream.

Never to be seen or remembered again. Except for one person. Yet, when?

I slowly opened my eyes and groaned. It was a frustrating experience having to wake up, especially with a weird dream just now. I wondered what it was about, but I couldn't care much. As someone lacking the ability to dream on many occasions, a night where one shows up would either most likely be a Deja-vu-like prophecy or some weird concept given manifest. That is what I liked to believe. I would never know which it would be, but I preferred to stay vigilant and leaned on the former idea most of the time.

I looked at the clock and I saw it was 07:15. A perfect time to rise from my bed and start the usual routine I had performed every day since I began middle school. Walking to the bathroom, I began to brush my teeth. Looking at the mirror, I wondered why someone like me existed for a split second before remembering I had a tight schedule to keep. I was dressed up and preparing my bag. Exiting my bedroom and entering the living room, I made myself at home on one of the seats you could find at the table. As it was the middle of the school year. This meant I was flawlessly performing my routine and almost robotically preparing breakfast. There was no incident besides the mild frustration I felt when I noticed that the ham had run out, but I didn't allow it to show on my face. Even alone, I had to maintain complete control of my emotions. They could hinder my judgment.

After I had finished, I found myself watching content creators playing games. When I became bored, I decided to continue a sketch in one of my notebooks. It was a strange hobby of mine. If any other person were to look at it, they would think of me as some kind of future school shooter, seeing as they were schematics of guns. But it was merely my family's strange obsessions with weapons that were at play. I once theorized it may have been that it transferred with me when I was born. It was a weird one, but not unprecedented when reminded of United States gun laws. If there was any job for me, then it couldn't get more badass than designing future-generation firearms. And I aspired to become one of the people that would design future guns.

Looking at the clock on my phone, I observed the timer. 07:50. I quickly finished my breakfast and only took a light sip of water as stomach troubles could ensue if I were to make haste when traveling to school with my motorbike. I washed my dishes and grabbed my headphones to listen to while traveling. Music has been one of the only things that make me feel alive in the boring modern age of the 21st century.

While exiting my house to retrieve my sports bike, Huffing as I haul my bag over my shoulder, the weight could be quite troublesome, but I paid it no mind. I checked my phone and saw it was at an almost 95% charge. It seemed to have been slightly used due to my earlier escapades while eating breakfast.

Unbeknownst to me, every step I took formed distortions in reality. Only exacerbated by the haste I moved at since I remembered an upcoming test in the first hour of school that was about to be conducted. I silently prayed I was both going to be on time and be able to do the test well enough to pass the year. I was on a thin tread when it came to my grades. Keeping more of my unsavory ones a secret from my parents was becoming increasingly difficult for me. I kept it like that as I did not want to disappoint them. They seemed to have slowly been catching on. As such, I needed to maintain my facade as best as I could for as long as possible. It weighed on my soul immensely. I merely continued as if nothing ever happened. Wearing a neutral expression everywhere I went at all times, expressing disinterest in everything in favor of studying. I had convinced myself that destroying any social aspect I had left in the world could be reconstructed in the future if I were to finish my studies and get a respectable, well-paying job.

Setting up a song for me to listen to, I put on my helmet and was on the verge of speeding off, were it not for the slightest hesitation when I was about to drive off. I could have sworn that I just saw a fantasy-like grassy plain with some kind of magical kingdom akin to Disney in the background. I sighed. 'was I beginning to become insane already?' No. That would be unacceptable. I still had school to attend. I could daydream another time as I had a test to do. My motorbike roared in anticipation of my race with the clock to school.

Speeding the roads was an exhilarating experience I just could never get enough of. Yet, it was becoming increasingly clear that my senses were beginning to betray me. It started with my sense of touch. I felt a warm breeze when I was riding and passing cars. I thought of it as a strange thing, yet decided to ignore it like I always did. It was a fatal mistake. Next was my sense of hearing. I should be able to hear the constant screeching of cars passing by me in my ears, yet I could have sworn there were periods there was no sound for me to hear. Instead, a sound akin to a light breeze that accompanied the warm feeling of wind of earlier was filling my eardrums. I thought I was becoming delusional and ignored it just like before. It was when my vision began blurring that it truly began. It was a pain in the eye akin to when you would be tired beyond belief, but you kept staying awake. I pressed my eyelids hard together, as I was hoping it would relieve my pain. I was unaware that this was the moment my life would change forever.

While in the millisecond that I closed my eye, I felt like I experienced a million lives all at once and none at all at the same time. It was a surreal experience, but someone was always in the center of it all. Me. I was observing a vision that was sometimes not so different from the dream I had in my sleep not too long ago. It was life-like. It looked and felt like I was experiencing them myself. Yet it was no happy ride. Almost immediately it was revealed that I was experiencing all of my deaths in a fantasy world not so different from the one I briefly envisioned before going to school. I was overwhelmed by the sheer trauma of everything. The deaths and the context behind every. Single. One. I hastily opened my eyes to stop myself from experiencing any more of these horrifying torture sessions, yet no answer came. No reaction came from my body. I was trapped in it and forced to do everything. Never able to escape.

'Make it stop.'

'Make it stop.' I thought over and over again, the sentence itself constantly repeating in my head. It playing in my head like a broken record in an unending loop. 'Make it stop.' Was what I thought repeatedly and repeatedly, yet it never did. The visions ignored my thoughts like a dismissive parent when a toddler kept whining for a new toy. It continued and continued while I was experiencing every kind of pain and torture all at once. It kept coming, and just wouldn't stop like it never saw an end. It never listened to my constant begging. It eventually became so bad that I began to envision killing myself in the many loops. I briefly wondered how I could even endure so much when a pathetic waste of a being like me was quite literally on the verge of breaking from the sheer pain. I was imagining an impossible escape that would most likely never come as to cope, but I knew a sinner like me would never be able to. I tried to move, hoping that something would happen, but it was all for naught as I was a passenger of my own body. I was never able to move a muscle. I felt like passing out, but I was forced to be fully conscious through the entire ride. It was pure madness, but I was somehow kept sane with methods I couldn't fathom. I knew it couldn't be my own mind as I would rather wish to be wiped from existence than live any longer even before this started. This meant a third party was somehow behind this. Who or what could be so cruel as to wish for some random person to suffer for eternity? Did they simply enjoy the pain I had to go through? Was it indeed how I would die? A sick entertainment show for some higher entity?

Just like a light at the end of a tunnel revealed itself, an answer for my pathetic and desperate pleas for help came. But by that time it was already too late. Something had broken inside of me, even if I could never explain it, I knew it happened. I began to open my eyes and escaped the hell to which I was subjected. The last death I both saw and experienced was the most haunting. It was the death of the soul within me and any humanity I had left. The last vision showed my own. Dead. Body. Besides the tombstone. What was left of my soul was only an empty husk you could barely call a human, yet it still housed a fleeting light within me. Begging to be awakened and show my true colors. But that didn't matter as one by one, I forgot it all. Never able to understand what it meant.

I had been granted a mercy I didn't deserve.

'Did I just die?'

I opened my eyes, I felt like I had gone through something I would rather forget. Phantom pain was in every conceivable place in my body, yet I did not understand where it came from. It was what I would imagine torture would be like, but far worse. I also felt like I had somehow changed, feeling like I became emptier within. I was fundamentally missing something, but I couldn't imagine what. The feeling in and of itself was indescribable. Furthermore, my mind was in a haze, making me imagine myself being a computer booting up from an earlier crash. I felt like puking, but after years of dealing with a weak stomach, that was now practically impossible for me to do unless I gave my stomach permission to do so. My vision was blurry, but it was quickly corrected by it working again. I looked up hoping I did not crash into a car or some other vehicle but instead saw the same green plain and distant castle in the distance.

I was confused and lost. I didn't know where I was and felt scared. What happened to me? Where was I?

If you would've seen my face, it had barely any reaction to this drastic change in environment. Yet, inside my mind, I was practically completely collapsing and on the verge of a mental breakdown. I quickly stopped the motorbike and removed my helmet, hoping it would be an illusion as it was, and still is, scientifically proven that magic doesn't exist and thus I shouldn't be here. When that didn't work, I quickly began rubbing my eyes in a panic about what was happening. Yet it was still not budging. Then it came to me: 'I'm still in a dream and I have yet to wake up! No day wouldn't be as boring as today!' And with that thought, I quickly slapped myself on the cheeks multiple times hoping that at any given time I would wake up. Yet, it wouldn't budge. It wouldn't work. I wasn't imagining things.

'Was I dead?' was the thought that now governed my thoughts when that didn't work. I had no proof nor denial to say I didn't die. The world itself and the atmosphere was reminiscent of the peaceful images of an afterlife, most closely resembling Greek mythology. Yet I couldn't shake off the feeling that I was very much alive. Namely, I could feel constant pain coursing through me. That shouldn't be possible except if I were in some kind of purgatory or hell, which it was clear I wasn't. I checked myself multiple times for any injuries only for me to realize I didn't have a single one to begin with, even after restless searching I still didn't know where it came from. The pain itself was indescribable, I never felt anything like it. The closest comparison I could give would be the feeling of being burned alive without feeling any of the heat and freezing to death without feeling any of the cold at the same time or an unknown force invading your body, and your body is self-cannibalizing itself to stop it. While it was painful, it also felt like it was just 'there'. I felt it, sure, but it also felt like I was weirdly accustomed to it, something that shouldn't be possible, yet it was. Although one thing was for sure, it didn't feel pleasant in the least.

I concluded that the best way of ignoring it was if I were to refocus my energy elsewhere than on my pain. I took a lot too, as I found myself on the verge of unnaturally needing to sweat almost every second I tried to divert my attention but I bit it through gritted teeth. I was eventually able to ignore it completely even if barely remembered what had just overcome me mere moments before. My brain did a short recap so I could comprehend the situation: I was going from a race with the clock to being on time for school to being in constant agonizing pain in a green plain overlooking a fairy tale kingdom. Just great.

I looked around me and saw no life except the calm grass that surrounded me. It was quite peaceful actually. I secretly hoped that it would go on forever, not that it took me long to discard the thought anyways as I was still in constant agonizing pain even if I became better at ignoring it. A feeling inside me made me realize it would probably be better if I began to move my insufferable butt to see where I found myself. I didn't deserve rest.

Eyeing my motorbike for a second, seeing it undamaged beside the now dirty appearance, I inwardly sighed yet again as I knew the day would only become longer. Pulling out my phone since the music was still up, I stopped it from playing and checked the time. 8:17 PM. I was going to miss the test regardless now. How frustrating. I saw that my 4G connection had cut off, meaning I had no internet anymore. Luckily, I managed to binge-watch any anime I was watching at the time or had them illegally downloaded into my data banks for future watching. Besides that, my phone was practically undamaged and was working fine excluding the connection problems.

I looked around once more, this time taking in more of the details of the environment I found myself in. the peaceful atmosphere around me truly made for a breath-taking sight. The sky was a perfect blue with scattered clouds that were peacefully roaming around. The ground around me was filled with lush, green, grass with the occasional flower field that littered the plains everywhere. I wondered how I managed to get here. What happened to have me suddenly be lying on a grassy plain? I couldn't find it in me to answer it since I had no answer, to begin with, but it only brought me more questions. I now wondered what I should do. How do I go back home? While I lived alone, my parents would occasionally visit to check on me, so how would they react? Would anyone still care if I suddenly disappeared?

'No one would.' The inner voice whispered inside my head. Guilt overflew me as I knew that I was useless in my previous world, not being able to contribute to society as I was taken to this fantasy world before I could even try. My parents wasted countless years preparing me for this only for me to suddenly disappear. I began hyperventilating as more guilt struck my heart. It felt like I had wasted their time. Precious time and money just for their child to suddenly disappear. I wondered if the world would be better without me, and it caused a feeling as if a thousand knives just stabbed me, only adding to the present agony I was in. The guilt was overbearing, yet I just barely managed to bear with it and push it aside, even if it lingered inside me. Taunting me with its existence, reminding me that both I and it existed.

To escape from an increasing pressure inside both my mind and heart, I quickly refocused my attention back to the calm, green, plains of this foreign land which made me calm down over time. Yet even then, a pressure in the back of my head was still within me. I felt like my heart was about to stop every second as it was. Just. Not. Stopping. I wanted to escape the continuous form of guilt I was feeling, the emotion that was dominating me, and even other emotions. It felt like it was unnaturally wiping out any other I had, yet I couldn't understand why. I felt more powerful but couldn't explain it. I just couldn't understand anything that was happening to me.

My confusion was only enhanced by the constant questions that were sprouting from my mind, plaguing the already fragile consciousness of my brain. So many of them asked me what to do, popping up in my head every second, yet so little that could I answer for myself. The test was now totally forgotten in favor of strategizing my next move. What should I do now in a fantasy world? I was totally clueless. I found it all frustrating to think about, yet I held back my temper in favor of controlling my emotions. I couldn't allow them to govern me. Someone like me didn't deserve emotions.

My first thought was to acquire a weapon. Even children knew that the most common trend that exists in eras like this one would be the constant existence of Bandits and thieves. Thus I needed to find something to defend myself with. Modern laws made it almost impossible in certain countries for a civilian to acquire weapons, me being from one of them, which made for a problem.

I realized that it would be smarter if I probably should find a way to a place with shelter first before I could think any further of anything. While it seemed simple at first, I had to remember that I was a complete foreigner in this world, dropped into this foreign place without warning and help. I had almost no friends back on earth and certainly none here. At least there seemed to be a form of civilization present, so that was some kind of relief, I guess. Checking the time again, I saw how the clock now had passed 9:00 pm, meaning I was three-quarters of an hour absolutely and completely useless only thinking about things instead of acting. I briefly berated myself for it but quickly moved on, otherwise, I would prove myself right. Grabbing my motorcycle and putting my helmet on, I sped off with speed not seen in this world, towards the unknown city.

As I rode by the grassy plains of the strange land, I overlooked the beautiful scenery that accompanied it. I never expected to be in this heaven-like realm but didn't mind. It looked like an infinite expanse with the only proof of any progress being the walls of the kingdom gradually becoming bigger the more I rode towards it. I never considered it, but I soon realized that it was massive in scale and it made me wonder how a wall as big as the one I was seeing was able to be built in the first place, considering the tech of medieval people. And that was not even considering all those hundreds of thousands of houses that were behind that wall.

When I got closer to the wall, a large field of flowers and abandoned buildings greeted me. I wondered how they came to be, but the thought was quickly discarded when I noticed that I was approaching the gate at a fast speed thanks to the engineering of the sports bike.

When I approached the gate, I was quickly greeted by some guards wearing knight armor. Thankfully they seemed to be at least humanoid in appearance. They gave me a curious glance but didn't seem to consider me a threat. As such, I rode closer without much of a problem. While the lack of reaction did hurt my pride a bit, I was pretty thankful that I didn't cause much of a scene as that would make more trouble than it would be worth. Especially when I just arrived in a place I didn't know. Wouldn't want to start trouble mere minutes after arriving. I was almost able to pass the gate, that was, until a third knight suddenly showed up, blocking my path.

"By the order of the knights of the Holy Dragon Kingdom of Lugnica, I order thee to stop!" He shouted out loud as to reach above the loud sounds my motorbike made, causing me to come to a screeching halt mere meters in front of the man.

'Shit.' That was my thought on the situation. I didn't know how to act in a social situation, much less an interrogation. If I didn't answer their questions I would probably be tortured for information. Medieval people could be extremely barbaric if they needed to be. Even if I was in a fantasy world, I had to be prepared for the worst the world had to offer me. I wouldn't mind being executed cleanly and painlessly if I somehow offended them, but feeling the pain of torture wasn't something I was ready to dance for. If I were to get a dose of the inhumane methods medieval people used, it would probably break my mind completely in record time as I was already barely able to handle the pain I already had. Thus I was left to nervously wait for the man to finish coughing at the cloud of dust that I had accidentally created with my motorbike and continue his dialogue.

"Thank you." He said, finally having finished coughing. He was now looking at me directly face to face, although my face was hidden behind my motorbike helmet which did complicate the saying. The knight reshaped his face to a sterner one to give off a more commanding aura so he could be in control of the situation once more.

"I would like to ask some questions of you if would be kind enough to answer that, stranger." The knight said in a somewhat muffled tone because I was wearing my helmet, but I was able to hear Regardless.

"Sure, Go ahead." I saw no harm in answering, so I did just that. The man looked at me, clearly surprised at the foul language I used and my easy-going nature. He quickly moved on by fake-coughing in his hand so he could continue his interrogation.

"What is your affiliation?" He asked simply.

"Unaffiliated," I responded instantaneously in monotone. Inwardly, I was slightly surprised at the speed at which I said it but ignored it in favor of refocusing on the conversation at hand. The knight seemed to accept the answer and simply moved on.

"I see. May I ask what your intentions in this humble kingdom would be?"

"None." That was my instant response. I quickly realized that although technically it was indeed true, it was a really stupid answer to give. I kicked myself internally for the blunder. The knight's face furrowed into a frown and I saw him raising his eyebrow at me.

"None? I have yet to find a person without motivation to come here, especially considering this is the capital." I didn't blame the knight for his reaction, as my answer was a strange one.

I did take note of how this seemed to be the capital of the kingdom but quickly dismissed it in favor of formulating a more convincing answer. Otherwise, The knight in front of me would become more suspicious of me than he already was.

"While it may seem strange, I do indeed have no real purpose. Maybe that is why I decided to go here. There was nothing left from where I came from, so I decided to come here instead."

It could hardly be seen as a lie. I did indeed do it as it was the only sign of civilization that showed itself in the infinite sea of grass and flowers and since I had and still have no conceivable way to find myself back home. I simply had nothing left.

I saw how the knight's features melted a bit and a less apprehensive expression was now on his face. It gave me a massive amount of relief inwardly, as I was unsure what to do else if he concluded that I had bad intentions. The knight nodded towards me, satisfied with my answer even if he was a bit cautious, and spoke once again.

"I see. My apologies for asking then. While it may seem strange, could you please remove your helmet?" The knight switched topics so as not to create an awkward atmosphere. Like his prediction, I did find it quite weird why he would ask that. However, I did so anyways seeing that I had no reason to resist it to begin with. And as such, I did just that. The knight eyed me with a calculating look for a moment before sagging his shoulders in relief, even if barely.

"Thank you. I was just checking if you were a demi-human. With the war these days, the knights need to be ever vigilant." I was surprised by the existence of demi-humans but what's more, the apparent existence of an actual race war. With the most formal tone I could muster, I spoke once again:

"War? Excuse me for a moment, but might I inquire what this war is all about? Where I came from, there was hardly any news from the outside world, and I might not be the most up-to-date with the current events." I cringed at the small lie in my sentence but chose to ignore it. If I were to reveal what I was, then it would most likely mean trouble. Thankfully, the knight didn't seem all that bothered by my question, probably since it had been asked before.

"Well, you see, the demi-humans recently have begun a civil war in our kingdom and surrounding lands, which plunged the whole country into chaos. The humans are now simply trying to reclaim what the demi-humans are trying to take." He shruggingly TLDR'd it for me to which I was eternally grateful.

Although considering I was looking at him with my usual deadpan stare, it made the situation kind of awkward instead. I quickly shook my head. Hoping to keep the conversation going before any relations could sour

"I see. I must thank you for answering my question." I gave a forced smile to my normally neutral face. I cringed within me but knew it was needed for formalities sake and not to look all too disrespectful to the knight that had so far been nothing but polite and kind to an insufferable person like me. I saw how the knight similarly cringed but hid it behind a façade. He coughed once more to dissolve the awkward atmosphere that was forming. Changing topics, he asked me:

"While it may be unrelated to the previous questions, I would like to enquire what kind of mount you are riding. I saw how it traveled at incredible speeds myself and couldn't help but wonder what it was." He pointed towards my motorbike. I felt incredibly smug at his question as I knew that fantasy worlds rarely contained advanced tech. Yet, I couldn't feel anything beyond the feint feeling and barely gave off any reaction at all.

"A highly advanced form of two-wheeled transportation powered by the wonders of oil." I effortlessly answered in a perfect monotone voice which although was my specialty, was beginning to become extremely unnatural. Even for me.

The guard frowned with both amusement and curiosity in his eyes. He clearly realized I was excited beyond compare seeing how I described it, but it also made him look at me with pity as he most likely realized I couldn't express my face much. It was clear he wanted to ask me more, but he decided not to press on. Otherwise, he would most likely be subjected to a rant that would last hours. Instead, he simply acknowledged my answer. Giving it a look once more, he whispered something under his breath. Something about a 'Metia'.

"My apologies, I didn't hear you properly. Care to repeat that?" I was hoping that he would explain what exactly he was babbling about. He instead simply shook his head, as if he made up his mind about something. He turned to me, facing me directly once again, and asked of me:

"It is nothing you should worry about. Say, do you have any experience in combat?" I was surprised at both the sudden change of topics and the question itself, but it barely made me outwardly react besides me giving my retort, much to my increasing annoyance inwardly.

"Admittingly, no. Why?"

"The kingdom is in need of manpower to bolster its forces, since you seem to be in perfect health and seeking a purpose, wouldn't it make a perfect opportunity, no?" His former kind smile now morphing into a smug one. It was clear as day that he was satisfied with himself at his perfect recruitment strategy.

It was practically that weird intro of games like Dark Souls. It screamed to me to accept. furthermore, I could hardly find a counter to that, and it caused me to realize that the job could give me a potential salary, which made me realize how I didn't have any money with me besides my credit cards, which here would mean literally nothing as it both wouldn't be a viable currency nor would be linked to the internet anymore, making any value it had now vanish in its entirety. Making me a literal broke. Add to the fact that I didn't have a place that I could afford to stay at nor the money for food, I was economically utterly fucked. Sighing at the wicked means of enlistment that governments used, I decided to accept the offer.

I didn't say it, but I did not like the idea of enlisting in a medieval army. I liked to live a peaceful life, without any conflict. But a civil war all across the country would prove to be quite problematic. Yet I hate to admit it, but this could be an opportunity to create a foundation for a stable economic situation as I (Hopefully) would get paid for being a soldier. And the man had given me that mere minutes of arriving here.

"You do have a point, where do I seek to enlist then?"

The knight signed for me to follow him, and I took my motorbike with me as the thing was too expensive to lose. A motorbike was generally far faster than a horse. What could take the creature days, a motorbike could do in a matter of hours. As I hadn't encountered any creature or device that could match it yet, I owned the fastest vehicle in the world at the moment. Such a thing would be considered priceless in medieval society, and I was not planning on losing such a valuable tool in my (admittingly embarrassing) small arsenal.

The recruiters found my machine and attire quite strange but simply shrugged when faced with it, simply saying that if I lost my stuff that would be my problem. I found it weird how they didn't question my existence, as they looked simply dismissive every time the subject was brought up. When I asked about it, they simply said that they had encountered weirder individuals and things before. It made me wonder what those individuals would look like if it made me look ordinary in comparison. I didn't question further, as the more attention I brought upon myself could raise more questions about me, and I was not prepared to answer those. Although, I did hear them repeatedly say the damn word metia over and over again. I didn't dare to ask what it was or meant as I was afraid that I would look like an idiot if I asked seeing that it seemed like everyone besides me already knew the word. Which put me in a difficult position and I was not planning to embarrass myself.

Sighing, I walked towards a small plaza filled with people who were all preparing to board the carriages. I was preparing my sports bike to follow the caravan of people that was assembling. In a mere two hours, I was from going to school to being conscripted into a medieval-fantasy army. I still had so many questions about what was happening around me, but I knew that they would most likely be gradually explained in the coming time.

This would be my journey in the new world.

My new life.

From Zero.