Will Byers had officially come out. To Robin of all people. Robin who was also just like him.
He could scarcely believe it.
They had had a very drawn-out deeper conversation by that point. Both were emotional when they left the room, and it seemed everyone had noticed. Not hard to with their shared set of red-rimmed eyes.
Robin rubs her hands together, "well, that was fun. Steve," she calls him in next.
Nancy was quick to suggest she might need some time to 'recharge her batteries' before they head back in. Robin shrugged and just gave Will a cheeky thumbs up before her and Steve were both out of view.
He reflects on the experience as he absentmindedly walks to where he was vaguely sitting before, acknowledging that it had in fact made him feel a lot lighter. It almost felt like the weight had shifted once he'd spilled his most personal secret, and everything else he needed to address came easier.
There was the needling sensation of knowing there was one thing, just one thing he'd left out, though.
He remembers Robin's face, ever so kind, as she said, "got anything else for me, Byers?" He shakes it off.
He did the thing he had also promised himself not to do. Where he looked at Mike, because he always seeks his reaction to everything. He doesn't know why he still has that entrenched in him. Seeking validation of someone who, who just will never need him anymore. Not like how he still needs them. It makes him feel sort of pathetic.
He honestly feels the tension sometimes, as if Mike has this visceral need to stay far away from him. He doesn't know when it started, or why. It's just there now.
That's exactly why it surprises him when he sees Mike walk towards him, stopping just short of an arm-length.
"How'd it go?" Mike questions, looking sort of pensive, shuffling his feet.
"Oh, um. It went okay." Will feels awkward.
"Just okay?" Mike says, concerned.
Will begins to feel a slight burn of anger. What does Mike care, really? He can't seem to shake off the fact that they've not been friends, not since he moved away from Hawkins. Why didn't he ever send a stupid letter? It inspired so much insecurity, a drain on his confidence.
If his best friend couldn't put down any effort, what does that say about Will? That he wasn't worth anything? Will just hurts inside, feeling it ring true.
Then, a remark Robin made that seemed to stick rings in his head.
"You need to remember, Will, every awful thing that's happened to you, it's not a reflection of you. You're not a bad person," Robin said emphatically.
Contextually, that only followed after he had talked about the Mind Flayer, and what evil it had done, as the puppeteer that is, with Will the puppet (repulsion sears through him, still, at the idea of it). He never could forgive himself for all those deaths when he was protecting it. He'd explained it all in that room. But maybe Robin's comment not only applies to that, but to other things too. Maybe.
Therefore, Will feels a current of righteousness, feeling so very justified in what he says next.
"Actually, it went great. Robin's easy to talk to, like she's a real friend." He says, with sharp eye contact, hands gripped by his sides.
Mike feels a ripple of shock, mouth open. "What?"
Will's lips tighten, not regretful per se, but he doesn't want to talk. He just wanted to be petty for a moment.
An immense anger overtakes him. Make him hurt, it says.
The idea disappears as he's thought it. He feels the repercussions still keenly though on his emotions, and he fears it. It almost, didn't sound like him?
"Forget it, Mike." He says, quickly, still reeling, and attempts to shove past.
Mike grabs his arm.
"I'm sorry," Mike says, with feeling.
Will's head is still buzzing, and he doesn't care to hear it, not right now at least. So, he doesn't respond and tries to keep his gaze low as he shakes the grip off. Mike's face collapses behind him, repentant and sad, arm now resolute to his side.
Will sees Eddie across the room and heads over. He passes his friends as they'd witnessed their interaction, and not wanting to be questioned, Eddie seems the most convenient option.
"Would it be okay, if I could listen?" He points to Eddie's headset once he's in front of him.
"Sure, buddy." Of course, Eddie saw it all too. But it would feel slightly like a crossing of bounds to ask about it. "You're Will, right?"
Will nods, relieved, as he sits down and Eddie tosses them into his lap, "thanks." He asks the burning question on his mind from before, "I noticed. Well, that you knew Mike. As in before,"
Eddie understands, nodding, "before that, you mean," he motions to the ceiling. "Yeah, we're in Hellfire Club together. Me, Mike, Dustin. Lucas."
Will's face scrunches up, "Hellfire Club?"
"Yeah, our D&D club, a club of fantasy, war… And freaks. But hey, I take it as a fine compliment," he grins, roguishly.
"D&D." Will remarks, hands gripping his pants. "Yeah, why not?" He laughs, despondent, though Eddie doesn't seem to glean that.
"You like it?"
Will clears his throat, simply says, "yeah. I did. What music do you have on here, then?"
He spends the rest of the short amount of time leaning his head against the drab wall, listening to the sounds. It was aggressive music sometimes, but powerful. Intense. It described how he felt, in a way.
Just as he fell into a particular song, drumming his fingers, a seizing headache gripped the temples of his head. He clutches it, groaning, pulling off the headset.
He gets nudged carefully once Eddie notices. He was sat by him at the moment, but he's not been there the entire time. At one point, he was watching the collection of weapons build up and Eddie decided to lend a hand, going on one excursion outside with Nancy, Jonathan and Argyle to go find stuff. The 'children' were to stay where they were, though, apparently.
"Hey, you alright?" Eddie takes a closer look at him.
Will turns away, quickly, embarrassed, "ah, nothing. Sorry. I must've fell asleep. Woke up kind of suddenly." He chuckles weakly.
"What? You fell asleep to that? You're a different breed, Byers." Eddie sits back, laughing.
The blinding headache disappears almost as if it hadn't even been there. He thinks nothing much of it once it goes away.
"You know, I liked it. The songs on there, I mean."
"Yeah? Mike liked it too. Guess it makes it easier for when we're up there." He throws up a look to the gate. Eddie then delicately says, "maybe we should team up? Seeing we all need this thing?" He waves the music player about that he'd grabbed away from Will when he 'woke up'.
Will coughs, looking away, "maybe?" He doesn't know that's a good idea, really.
God, almost when he feels Mike cares, even just a tiny bit, the thought always gets dismantled by some other thing. Such as their D&D Hellfire club, apparently, that none of them have written him about. None of them. He feels the burning sensation at the back of his throat take a sharper edge.
And then he tastes blood. "Ah, where's the restroom?" He says, hurriedly.
"Just down there," Eddie makes to stand up, but Will's off with the barest sense of direction before Eddie can properly show him to it.
He feels a few heads turn, wondering why he's in a hurry. But they engage back in their preparations for the Upside Down, talking amongst themselves, thinking nothing much of it.
Will feels something drip just as he's turned the corner. He rubs the back of his hand across his mouth, pulls it away and sees a smattering of blood, and closes the door behind him urgently.
He heads for the roll, tearing bits off until he's satisfied. Stuffs some up his nose whilst he looks in the mirror.
Has he always looked that void of colour?
And then he hears it.
Will…
A clock chimes ominously.