Mulder had never seen her like this and it scared the shit out of him.
Ever since they got in the car, she just stared at him. In the past, it wasn't unusual for him to catch her gazing his way, but usually, she'd blush or smile or something. Tonight it was unrelenting and equally unnerving.
"Do I have something on my face?" he teased, trying to break the tension while they were sitting at a red light.
"How are you feeling?" she asked. Despite her level-headed demeanor, her voice was hoarse and it just reminded him of the blood-curdling screams they'd heard while looking for her. The screams she apparently didn't remember.
"I'm worried about you," he answered honestly.
"No, I mean do you feel alright?" she clarified, completely skipping over his reply.
The question gave him pause, and he turned to glance at her. Her face was still puffy and red from crying. Even now, she looked scared, but he didn't know what of. "Yeah, why shouldn't I?"
That caused her to look away. Well, stop looking at him may be more accurate. Her eyes glazed over in a thousand-yard stare and she slumped back into her seat.
What the fuck?
He was about to press her, but a car honked and alerted him that the light had turned green. They were quiet for a few more blocks until a left turn caused her to snap out of her trance and blot upright. "Where are you going?"
"The hospital so you can get checked out," he answered calmly.
"I'm fine, Mulder. I-"
Trying not to lose his temper, he interrupted her by explaining, "You don't remember anything, Scully. You don't know for certain that you're fine. We couldn't find you for fifteen minutes."
She was silent, and he looked over to see her eyes were wide and her breathing was becoming labored. "You know what happened in that room, don't you?" he pressed. "You just don't know how to explain it."
"Mulder, please," she whispered, wringing her hands together in her lap.
All he wanted was to get her checked out at the hospital, but the vulnerability in her voice felt like an arrow to his heart and he felt his resolve weakening. Whatever happened had really shaken her up, and he didn't want to risk causing her to shut down if he made her do something against her wishes.
"Can you just promise me that you're not injured?" he conceded.
"Yes."
"Okay," he sighed, rubbing his palm over his face while trying to subdue his frustration. As his hand started to fall, he felt her lithe fingers wrap around his own, drawing their joined hands onto her lap.
She gently pried his hand open so that it was splayed flat, palm-upwards on the fabric of her pants. Slowly, she traced the lines of his palm with the tip of her index finger as if she was trying to commit each groove and valley of his skin to memory. When she'd reached the point where she was tracing the tips of his fingers, he pushed up so that his fingers intertwined with hers, curling them inwards so that their palms were pressed firmly together.
The remained quiet for a while longer, simply listening to the soft rock coming through his speakers until he passed the exit to his place, causing Scully to shift in her seat. "Where are we going?"
"I was taking us back to your place," he answered. He glanced towards her, expecting to see that look of dread on her face again, but instead her face was downturned in disappointment.
"I didn't mean to intrude," he apologized. "I'm just worried about you, and if you're not going to go to the hospital, then I'd prefer to stay with you. At least for tonight."
"No, I just… Can we stay at your place?" she requested softly.
He felt a wave of pleasant surprise wash over him as he realized her hesitation wasn't because she didn't want to spend the evening with him, but because she wanted to do so in his space. "I gotta warn you — it's a bit of a disaster zone," he joked, flipping on his turn signal.
His only reply was a gentle smirk and her hand squeezing his.
It wasn't until Mulder was letting Scully in his front door that he realized his place was messier than he'd thought. Skinner had requested their help so much over the past few days, that he really just came here to crash a few hours each day before rushing back. "Uh," he stammered, turning to Scully. "Stay right here for a second, I'll be back."
He did a quick Super Market Sweep of all his dirty clothes while kicking some VHS tapes under the couch. Mulder planned on letting Scully stay in his bed, so he ran into his room, deposited all his dirty clothes in the hamper, and cleared a couple of magazines off his bed by stuffing them underneath the mattress. One quick sweep to make sure the bathroom wasn't repulsive, and he figured it was good enough.
As he rounded the corner, he was about to make a joke until he saw Scully standing near the wall, clutching something in her hands. Only her profile was visible from where he was standing, but he could see her bottom lip quivering as she trailed her fingers over what he could now see was a picture frame. She sniffed and reached for her face, but not before he saw a large teardrop fall. "Scully?" he probed, walking towards her.
She jumped and looked toward him, revealing her red-rimmed eyes and sullen expression. "Sorry," she mumbled, quickly setting the picture frame back on the shelf she'd gotten it from. As she did so, he saw it was a photo of them that he'd clipped from The Des Moines Register. She'd cracked one of her rare, off-color jokes and it had made him laugh. The photo showed him with a wide-toothy smile while she was grinning proudly. The caption of the article had criticized the police for taking a string of serial murders lightly, but the photo on its own was one of his cherished possessions. He was concerned as to why it made her cry.
"Hey," he consoled, rubbing her back. She leaned into his touch, and it gave him enough confidence to try questioning her again. "It's just us. It's just you and me. Whatever happened-"
"I don't know what happened, Mulder," she repeated with an exasperated sigh, looking at her feet.
He pushed a lock of hair behind her ear before using the back of his index finger to wipe away the wetness under her eyes. "Something must have upset you," he prodded.
Scully crossed her arms over her chest and shrugged, glancing at him once before darting her eyes elsewhere. "It's been a long couple of days. I guess I'm just worn out."
He didn't deny that could have been a contributing factor to why she was so upset, but he didn't believe that was the real cause. He nodded in resignation and didn't press her any further. "The bathroom's available if you'd like to take a shower," he offered.
Scully smiled appreciatively, clearly relieved he was letting it go. She started walking towards the bathroom and made it halfway down the hallway before pausing and pivoting on one foot. "Um, could we maybe have a movie night?"
The request felt like it came out of nowhere and he had to suppress a look of shock. With how tonight had gone, he'd been certain she would just want to call it a night and go to bed, but he was pleasantly surprised by this turn of events. Scully looked shy right now, and the thought of their movie nights being a source of comfort for her made him happy. He smiled and replied, "Of course. While you're in the shower, I can run to Yenching Palace and get us some-"
As soon as he mentioned leaving, he saw her eyes widen and a look of fear cross her face. "No! I mean- can you just order in?"
He nodded and softly replied, "Sure, Scully."
She responded with a grateful smile before disappearing around the corner.
While Mulder pulled out his phonebook, he listened to the muted sounds of Scully exploring his bathroom. She'd been here enough times that he didn't feel the need to give her a tour, but he could hear her opening the medicine cabinet and the space under his sink. He wasn't sure if she was searching for something or just looking around, but regardless, he was pleased to know that she felt comfortable enough to make herself at home.
He placed their order, relieved they were still open, and then slipped into basketball shorts and a heather gray t-shirt before he continued to tidy up. He didn't get very far before the phone rang again.
"Mulder," he greeted.
"Agent Mulder, it's Skinner. We caught him."
He felt a weight lift off his chest and he slouched against the phone stand in relief. "That's great. How'd you nail him?"
"Similar to what happened with Agent Scully. We heard Agent Pineda screaming, and when we found her she was rolling on the ground, convinced that bees were swarming her."
Mulder's brows furrowed as he tried to make a connection. "And Palazzolo was there?"
"Hiding in the corner," Skinner affirmed. "We don't have much to hold him on though, so we're still trying to make heads or tails of this whole thing."
"What do you mean? He was at the scene of the crime," Mulder pressed.
"What crime? An expensive dry cleaning bill from Pineda rolling around on the ground?" Skinner quipped.
"Well, he must've been terrorizing them all somehow."
"We can't explain it, Mulder. The mayor's daughter thought she was set on fire, and she wasn't. Pineda thought she was being stung to death by bees, and she wasn't. Then Scully claims she can't remember anything. We have nothing to go off of," Skinner sighed.
"Claimed?" Mulder repeated.
Mulder could practically see Skinner gripping the bridge of his nose in agitation. "All the other victims have been scared out of their minds. It seems like their biggest fears just happened to them at Palazzolo's will."
He bristled at that. "Were they?"
"What?"
"Their biggest fears? Is that what the others said?" he questioned.
He heard the sounds of paper rustling and Skinner asking a few questions to the people around him before returning to the phone. "Yeah, it looks like they all alluded to that possibility. Listen, I'm not asking you to come down here tonight. Our perp won't be going anywhere, but this is an X-File and we're all a little out of our depth here."
"We'll be there tomorrow," Mulder replied, knowing Scully wouldn't abandon the case even if it may be in her best interest.
"How's she holding up?"
Mulder perked his ear up, wanting to make sure he could still hear the sound of her in the shower so he wasn't caught talking about her. "If she hadn't been in such a state of panic when we found her, I think I would've just presumed she was feeling a little down."
"Well, maybe you can try talking to her tonight if she seems up to it. Her insight into what he does, even if she didn't know that's what it was, might be crucial to nailing this bastard," Skinner explained. It didn't go unnoticed by Mulder that Skinner presumed they were together, and he wondered if it was because of her distress earlier or if that's just what he always assumed.
"Will do," Mulder replied, setting the phone back down on the cradle with a long sigh.
What was Scully's worst fear?
His instinct leaned towards being abducted again, but he'd listened to her get kidnapped or held hostage more times than he could count and she never sounded like she had in that warehouse. Plus, it seemed like the fears Palazzolo preyed on were ones that incapacitated the victim to some extent. Everyone who'd been afflicted had been found cowering or flailing on the ground. He imagined if she was re-living someone trying to take her, she would have been fighting back, but she was on the ground like the others by the time they got to her
Mulder knew Scully hated losing control, but the implications of what that might entail made his stomach churn. He checked his watch and listened to make sure the shower was off. She hadn't been in there long enough to be concerning.
Letting out a deep breath, he ran his hand through his hair and tried to explore other options. Maybe she envisioned someone was taking the chip out of her neck? Or maybe she was re-living Emily?
Never in his entire life had he so badly wished that Scully was deathly afraid of something mundane, like spiders or snakes or heights — something scary that wasn't extremely traumatizing or that would re-hash old wounds. Mulder felt his frustration mounting, but he tried to keep it at bay since she was in the other room. He wanted to be out there catching this S.O.B., but Scully never asked for help. Even though she wasn't being entirely forthcoming, she was relying on him to help make her feel better, and he wasn't about to let her down when she needed him most.
He just wanted to know what he could do to make her feel better.