Bye-Bye, Birdie
Azula's first death came as a bit of a surprise.
Death was failure, and failure wasn't something she usually wasted time pondering unless it was someone else's failure and therefore hilarious. But death was inevitable for all but the spirits (although she had some interesting ideas about that) and so she occasionally contemplated the best possible death she could achieve for herself. After all, when the time came, she wanted to make sure she got it right. It was hardly the kind of thing for which you could get a 'do-over.'
(Usually.)
But even aside from the later problems, nothing about her first death was right. Her end was supposed to mean something. It was supposed to be grand, an important event upon which the history of the world would pivot, or at least the parts of it she cared about. And it was supposed to happen just as she started her physical and/or mental decline, so that she'd never have to experience the indignities of aging like becoming addled or needing servants to chew her food for her. There would have to be witnesses to her grand and glorious death, so that someone could paint the scene with the artistry it deserved. Perhaps some musicians would be nearby with tuned instruments who could accompany her end with an appropriate orchestral flourish. Ideally, she'd be wearing a cape, because she thought she looked very good in one.
And her death would accomplish something for her family. Perhaps it would finally get Zuko to act like a proper warrior, or maybe teach any children he had by then how to lead their nation to its true imperial destiny. Maybe she would even have children of her own, somehow, and her death would bring them more power than any Fire Nation royalty had ever wielded before.
She certainly wasn't supposed to choke on a cherry pit a week after her twentieth birthday.
And she would never have expected to cough, spit it out, and start breathing again ten minutes later.
That kind of thing was just disorderly. And it made Azula suspect she was doing death wrong. She hated being wrong. Especially with something that everyone else usually got right on their first try.
But, in the end, Azula survived it, which was good despite the oddness. It meant she didn't have to kill the minion who was supposed to de-pit the cherries, which wasn't good exactly but at least meant she wouldn't need another recruitment drive so soon. And she would be able to die properly at a much later date.
It also meant she hadn't completely failed yet.
So Azula found it more than a bit dispiriting when she was blown up three days later.
It was, at least, the culmination of a grand plan that would have seen her overthrow the current world order in favor of a glorious vision of Fire Nation rule. She had managed to acquire one of the latest war zeppelins, so she was overseeing everything from the sky like a god, which would have made a perfect painting. Her minions had even managed to scrounge up a nice red cape for her that was flapping in the wind and went perfectly with her black armor. There was no musical accompaniment, but she had been working on her mental health, so she was okay with the lack of perfection.
If she had been fifty-to-sixty years older and much more accomplished, it would have been an acceptable death.
As it was, she was far too young to die and hadn't even managed to drop one bomb on the Earth King's palace when her airship gave a lurch, a sky bison flew away with a familiar dark-skinned pair wearing blue clothes in the saddle, and then her airship started exploding.
It took less than a second, but the moment stretched into eternity for Azula, allowing her to experience the nuances. The explosions started with the bomb-bay, continued with the engine, briefly included the onboard bathrooms, and then overtook the bridge. She was on the front walkway, where she had been posing and delivering a speech about how much her foes deserved death, and had just enough time to leap and grab for one of the emergency life-balloons that would have taken her safely to the ground. Yet, somehow, her leap wasn't quite enough, and time continued in its slowed state as her grasping hands came just short of the rope she had to grab. Then came fire, pain, and a battering like she had never experienced.
An indeterminate amount of nothingness later, there came a kind of stiff soreness and an awakening on ground.
Her hair was a mess, her armor was more like tinfoil where it still existed, and her beautiful cape probably no longer existed.
But she was alive and in perfect physical health. Not even a bruise.
Again, not being dead was good, but this was twice in a week that reality had failed to conform to expectations, and that always put Azula in a bad mood.
At least escaping Ba Sing Se without being recognized was fun.
"Once," Azula said, "is happenstance." She paced in front of her elite strike team, projecting an aura of command and getting used to the feel of her new suit of armor. "Twice is coincidence, but three times? Three times is enemy action."
Zirin, the freckled leader of the strike team and the minion who had been with Azula the longest, frowned. "But you said the strange phenomena has only happened to you twice. Whatever it is."
"Precisely! We're not going to wait for our enemies to strike at us a third time and reveal themselves. We're going to hit them first." Azula turned on her heel to look Zirin right in the eyes. "While our compatriots around the world continue to spread chaos and find new opportunities for us, we are going to directly confront the attempts to sabotage my greatness."
Zirin, of course, turned her gaze to her feet. "Um, how? Like I said, we don't really know what's going on-"
"Precisely." Azula moved her gaze over the rest of the warriors, lining up targets in the form of eyeballs and knocking them down one by one like a sharpshooter of staring. Within moments, the entire strike team was looking at the floor. "We are going to procure information, but you needn't worry; I'm not expecting any of you to think. You are my elite strike force, not my elite research group. (Hm, personal note: get an elite research group.) As always, your part in the mission will play directly to your strengths."
Their tank-train chugged to a halt. Azula pulled a nearby lever, and one wall of their compartment swung open to reveal the harsh, baking expanse of the Earth Kingdom's great Si Wong Desert. She gestured and said, "Years ago, when I was conquering Ba Sing Se, I discovered that the Avatar found a Spirit Library in this desert. It was where he learned of the solar eclipse he tried to exploit to invade the Fire Nation. Such rare knowledge is exactly what I need. But the library was lost beneath the sands when the Avatar offended its caretaker."
The elite strike force raised their eyes to the view and immediately squinted at the glare of the sun off the dunes.
"Well?" Azula gestured. "Start looking."
Her elite strike force groaned.
Azula sighed. "Oh, don't worry. Contrary to popular opinion, I am not needlessly cruel." She went to one of the supply crates stacked up all along the walls of their train compartment and removed an example of the special equipment she had commissioned for this mission. She fully expected to be remembered by history for this feat of engineering. "See, it's a hat with a small parasol coming out the top. That will keep some of the sun off of you. Now, I believe you have some digging to get to?"
Six months later, Azula stood before a giant owl with her fists on her hips and a parasol-hat on her head, the remains of her elite sunburned strike team cowering behind her. "I have come for knowledge, spirit! And you will give it to me, or we will reduce your entire collection of tomes and scrolls to ash!"
The giant owl looked down at her and said, "Fire Nation. Your people are always so rude. And what knowledge have you come to take from my library?"
"Knowledge of death."
The owl somehow snorted, despite having a beak instead of a nose. "How typical."
"Specifically, I've died twice now. And yet I am still alive. I want to know what's going on."
Behind her, Zirin and the other minions whispered to each other.
"That," the owl said, narrowing its eyes, "is- less typical." It shuffled its wings. "I don't recall any curses with that precise effect. You're not pale or rotted enough to be a jiangshi. And I would think you'd know if you sold your mortality to Mara."
Azula crossed her arms over her chestplate. "Even you don't know anything about it? I assume you've actually read all these books, yes?"
"Impudent girl. I am Wan Shi Tong, He Who Knows Ten-Thousand Things. But even I need a moment to remember it all." He leaned forward and extended his neck, peering at Azula with his black eyes. "And I am now recalling a certain tale of Avatar Ticasuk and the Sun Warriors." His neck extended even further so that the owl now appeared to be something more like a snake-hawk, and his head loomed over her like a restaurant bill after taking her entire main base out for a planning lunch. Her elite strike force, meanwhile, were heroically led by Zirin to flee into shadows of the giant library. "Yes, I can see the traces in you. That's why you can't die."
Azula grinned with satisfaction. "So you do have answers. And I can compensate you for your expertise. Perhaps you'd enjoy having the Avatar delivered to you in a helpless state? There's no need to lose your books to my fire when you can profit by aiding me."
The owl somehow managed to smile, despite its beak. "I've never been concerned much with profit. Just knowledge- and, occasionally, dinner."
Then its head snapped forward with inhuman speed and ate her in three bites.
When reality returned, Azula was alone in the desert. It was night, she had no clothes, and there wasn't a single trace of either her elite strike force or the massive hole that had led to the library.
The only thing visible besides moonlight-drenched sand was a strange orange canine with black feet. It had one of her parasol-hats in its mouth. At Azula's stare, it gave a whine and left the hat on the sand at her feet before running off.
It was a long walk out of the desert, and the hat didn't help at all.
That was the third time she died, and she quickly lost count during her journey back to civilization.
The owl had mentioned the Sun Warriors. It wasn't much, but it was a starting point. Or would be, after she took a weekend to deal with the trauma of her accumulated deaths and also assemble another new set of armor. She was a big believer in both mental health and looking professional.
Once that was done, she assembled an elite research team and headed out to the ancient ruins where the precursors of the Fire Nation had lived and died out pathetically like the first-drafts they were. Still, even pathetic first-drafts could be useful, if just as an illustration of what not to do. And since Azula wanted to know how to stop dying repeatedly, a dead nation was the perfect counter-example!
Except for the part where the Sun Warriors turned out to still be around.
"Let me get this straight," the chief said, his face-paint and massive headdress failing to detract from the confused expression, "you're not dying, and you want to get it to stop?"
Azula considered the question and looked around at the vine-covered ruins that had somehow been supporting a village's worth of nearly naked people for so long without anyone knowing. "When you put it like that, it does sound rather stupid."
The Sun Warrior Chief, proving that he hadn't merely gotten his position through a lottery, said nothing.
"However, it's not that I want to die," Azula continued. "Just the opposite. But I'm just disturbed by what is clearly an exceedingly odd situation, and I need more information. Gifts like immortality don't come without strings attached, hm?"
The chief inclined his head in what could have been a nod in the right light. "And you're here because-?"
"I told you, a giant owl said that my situation was reiminscent of something involving Avatar Ticasuk and your people. I came expecting to examine the wreckage of your pathetic situation - no offense, but you should really start looking into the concept of pants - only to find you alive and perfectly capable of answering all my questions if you don't want to die screaming."
The chief squinted at her. "Why would I die screaming? If I were dying, I'd probably want to lie down and take it easy."
"Because," Azula sighed, "I would kill you in such a painful way that you wouldn't have a choice."
"Ah, that makes more sense." The chief shrugged. "I don't get threatened very often, you see."
Azula smiled, nodded, and took a large step back. "You clearly also don't have much experience with pithy one-liners, because that was an opening to some kind of attack or intimidating display of power if I ever heard one. But I won't be caught unaware again, not after that owl ate me!"
Her guards assembled in a circle around her, shielding her with their bodies and oriented to spot any possible threats. The members of her elite research team, meanwhile, were all trying to hide behind each other, but that was entirely expected of them.
But the Sun Warriors merely stood behind their chief without tension and watched the confrontation from a distance like it was a particularly boring production from the Ember Island Player's winter filler-troupe.
The Chief didn't so much as move. "You know, you might have an easier time with people if you treated them fairly, didn't insult their entire civilization and alternative ideas of modesty, and actually asked for help without threatening people. Just a tip."
"Manners are for fools and weaklings! True warriors do not say please." Azula raised her hands and summoned a blossom of blue fire in each palm. In a nicely synergistic moment, a shadow must have passed in front the sun, shading her so that her flames appeared all the brighter. "And needless to say, we don't bother with 'thank you,' either."
"But dragons do."
"Dragons- do what now?"
That's when Azula realized that she should have been a lot more suspicious about the cloud.
But, to her credit, being surprise-attacked by one giant animal was enough to teach her a lesson. She reacted with lightning reflexes, turning and throwing out a jet of devastating flames above at the two dragons swooping down at her.
Unfortunately, fire turned out to not be the most effective weapon to use against giant masters of Firebending.
Later, Azula wasn't sure what she was more annoyed about: having another set of armor turned into slag, or her losing brand new elite research team to feed a pair of oversized dragons. Either was a better option than focusing on the sensation of being incinerated by fire that refused to pick a color for itself, and she was a big believer in mental health.
Despite how often she was dying lately, she still hadn't gotten used to it.
How did one get used to failure?
That's when she thought about Zuzu.
It wasn't that she had to ask her brother for help. She still had the option of getting the information out of the giant owl or the Sun Warriors. Just because they had already rebuffed her attempts to force them to do her will didn't mean they could do so forever. Even killing her couldn't stop her, lately. It was just a matter of trying again and again until she succeeded.
But that would be much more iterative than she was comfortable with. Brute-force solutions just weren't the right look for her. She was a big fan of getting things right on the first try or giving up on them forever because they were stupid anyway. Besides, it wasn't as if the big cranky owl and the half-naked people had been complete dead-ends (so to speak). They had taught her things, knowledge she would use to get what she wanted in a glorious triumph that would go down in history.
She just needed to get to her brother to make use of that information.
Zuzu had apparently been busy while she was running her research projects and dying horrbile death after horrible death. The secret passages she had been using to sneak into the Caldera had been locked down, filled in, or turned into literal underground poetry cafes. So she needed to find an alternate way of getting into her brother's prescence. Surrendering at the city gates would land her in a jail cell with no guarantee of actually seeing Zuko.
But Azula had more knowledge about the capital than just a few old, dusty tunnels. She knew people and secrets and history and habits. She knew the times when there would be the most chaos and which avenues would be unguarded. She knew all the little alliances and rivalries that kept the society in motion. She even knew that Old Lady Xiaojingcheng's patio extension wasn't up to code, and it was remotely possible that information would be of use someday before sun burned out.
Using most of her knowledge, Azula assembled a plan that would get her into the Fire Palace before Zuko even knew she was there. She began with the date of the anniversary of her brother's (illegitimate) corronation.
She knew he would celebrate with a big cake from his favorite bakery in Harbor City (despite the fact that their sweet buns were clearly the superior option). Too big for him and his friends to eat, but he always gave the rest to the palace staff in a pointless attempt at keeping their favor, in addition to such ridiculous methods as paying them fairly, treating them nicely, and not banishing or killing them for failure.
That bakery oversaw their own deliveries, due to the delicacy of transporting a large confectionary. They would meet Zuko's guards at the gate of the Caldera for armed escort to the palace, but up to that point, they would be just another group of merchants moving goods on the roads.
But between the Caldera and tbe bakery were fifteen different points where a well-trained unit could intercept the group and take their place, all without being seen or causing a disturbance. A few artificial distractions could ensure that no random foot-traffic would interrupt things, ensuring that the rest of the plan would be a literal cake-walk.
Once the cake was received at the palace, it would be stored untouched in the staging kitchen until it was time to be taste-tested to ensure it had not been poisoned. When dealing with cakes, the Royal Fire Poison-Detectors always cut a small horizontal slice from its base to avoid ruining its appearance. Just under six minutes later (five to see if anyone would keel over of poison and the rest of the time to wheel it out), the cake would be presented to the Fire Lord and his guests.
Exactly six minutes after the poison-test, Azula stretched out her very cramped limbs, stood up, popped out the top of her brother's cake, and shouted, "Surprise, brother! How could you leave me out of celebrating your coronation?"
She put on a superior grin and tried to blink through the sweetened bean-paste all over her face. Hopefully all this sugar wouldn't rot her latest set of armor like it rotted teeth. She wiped her eyes clear with the back of her hand and looked around.
Zuko was staring at her from the head of the dining room table, a look on his face that was either terrified surprise or awed recongition of her innate superiority. (He didn't have room in his head for both.) Beside him was Mai, of course, with a more muted version of the same expression but not ruined by a massive mark of scarred failure. On his other side was the Avatar, and scattered around the rest of the table were Ty Lee, The Waterbender, Suki the Kyoshi Warrior, The Little Earthbender, and Sokka. Zuzu evidentally still had trouble making friends.
Finally, he managed to say, "A- Azula?! Why were you in my cake?"
"I hope for Mai's sake you weren't expecting someone else." She clawed her way out of the rest of the cake and hopped down from the dessert table. The icing on the soles of her boots attempted treachery and caused her to slip, but she quickly popped back up and struck a regal pose before the slow brains of her audience could perceive her moment of weaknees.
No one moved. Clearly they were still awed.
"Zuko," Sokka finally said into the silence, "I try not to be too critical of Fire Nation culture to your face (anymore), but it's really weird that your little sister popped out of your anniversary cake. Seriously, ew."
Suki elbowed him.
Mai, ever predictable, at last recoved enough of her wits to leap out of her chair. "I won't let you hurt him, Azula! All you've done is bring yourself to justice." She stood like a guard in front of Zuko with a trio of deadly razor-disks in one hand and a dessert spoon in the other.
The Avatar and The Waterbender were soon at her side in fighting stances. Then Ty Lee and Suki the Kyoshi Warrior joined them. The Little Earthbender squeezed herself into the grouping. And Sokka was attempting to sneak up on Azula from behind.
As much as she would have liked to take advantage of her recent immortality to destroy her enemies here and now, she had a greater purpose. She sighed and raised her hands in surrender. "I have brought myself here, Mai, but not for justice. I won't hurt anyone- unless Sokka succeeds in snagging some icing from my back seriously if you touch me you oaf I will end you! I am actually-" Her voice faltered on her.
Zuko peaked out from behind Mai. "You're actually what?"
"Hold on a moment." Azula swallowed. "I actually n- need-"
"What?"
"Would you calm down for a second this isn't easy for me!" Azula took a few deep breathes and thought about her previous difficulties with using threats to make people obey her orders. She had come to see a pattern across all her enemies, especially recently: she might be able to make people fear her, but fear didn't always bring control. A lot of the time, it brought people attacking her like wild animals and occassionly with wild animals. So she looked her brother in the eyes and managed, "I need. Your. Help."
Everyone traded glances.
Azula pointed to the Avatar. "And his. Or so a giant owl claimed before he ate me."
And all at once everyone began talking, shouting and arguing and calling Azula names. Sokka tried to snag some icing with a finger and she punched him but no one seemed to care. Eventually, the cacaphony settled and Zuko stepped out from behind his friends to say, "Very well. If you're serious, the guards can take you into custody, and then we'll talk."
Azula raised her cake-encrusted eyebrows.
Zuko said, "Er, maybe we'll let you clean up, first?"
A long bubble bath, a selection of silk robes, and a night in the palace dungeon later, Azula was able to tell her story to her brother. Zuko listened from the other side of the bars to every word without interrupting, although some of his expressions at certain parts of the tale were quite loud in their interjections. After she was done, he walked away without so much as a word.
An hour later, he returned with the Avatar and said, "We considered that you might have gone completely insane, and Sokka argued convincingly that your asking for help is proof of that."
"But you actually described Wan Shi Tong's personality pretty accurately," the Avatar continued, a pleasant smile on his face but his eyes focused on her with a flattering wariness. "And that is exactly the Sun Warrior Chief's sense of humor."
Zuko held his hands out at his sides. "So we've decided to take you seriously for now."
Azula favored them with a smile. "Excellent. So, how do we do this? Do I stick out my tongue and say ahh?"
The Avatar blinked at her. "You came to me for help. You don't know what you need me to do?"
"If I did, I would have already demanded it from you. I just know that the owl said one of your past lives encountered something like this before." Azula waved at the arrow tattooed on his head. "I assume whatever it is you need to do involves glowing in some way."
Zuko nodded. "It usually does."
The Avatar gave them both a very immature stinkeye, but he reached through the bars of the cell to touch the temple of Azula's head. He breathed as though meditating.
Azula decided not to tell him that his hands were cold.
Then the world exploded.
When reality finally got itself put back together with only a few pieces left over, Azula found herself sprawled on the floor of her jail cell. Zuzu and the Avatar were leaning over her, the barred door ajar behind them, and she had to remind herself that she was here by choice and it would be very crude to murder them both and then flee cackling into the night. "Did I die again? At least this time I didn't ruin another set of armor."
As they helped her sit up, Zuko said, "You didn't die that I noticed. But I only checked your pulse after shouting your name for five minutes, so I might have missed something."
"Eh, close enough."
The Avatar stepped back and straightened his robes. "You and I touched the Spirit World together so that I could perceive you on a level that transcends your physical essence."
"Oh, good."
"It turns out you've got phoenixes."
Azula tried to cover her blush with a cough, but the sound somehow didn't block anyone's view of her warming cheeks. "Are you sure? The most I've done is kiss a boy, and that was a long time ago."
The Avatar and Zuko exchanged perplexed glances. Then the Avatar went, "Ah, I understand! No, it's not the type of thing you catch from other people. This is more like invasive spirits of immortality intertwining themselves with your chi and taking up residence in your body."
Azula blinked. "So do I take a tonic for that, or-?"
"No-o, not exactly." The Avatar ran a hand over his shaved head. "Phoenix spirits are firebirds. They usually stay in the Spirit World, but after a newborn phoenix is born, it can't grow on its own. A flock of baby phoenixes will cross over to our world looking to feed, and they eat the spirit energy of a human with a very active karmic dynamic."
Zuko said, "What does that mean?"
"Azula has lots of destiny."
"She would," Zuko grunted. "Destiny causes a lot of trouble."
Azula started to nod in agreement, but something about the situation niggled at her. "And you got all that from looking at me while you were glowing?"
"Oh, no," the Avatar said, "you fainted when the phoenixes noticed me and attacked my spirit. They drove me fully into the Spirit World, where I had an epic battle with some full-grown firebirds from their flock, and afterward I wound up lost for a few hours. As long as I was there, I communed with my past lives and connected with Avatar Ticasuk. She told me about the time some baby phoenixes tried to make a nest in the Sun Warriors' Agni Champion, and then we visited the spirit of the dragon that had been his partner for more information. I've been working very hard for you even though you killed me that time. " The Avatar offered her a wan smile. "But that's okay, everyone deserves a second chance."
Azula snorted. "I only shot you with lightning. Once! Meanwhile, I've choked on a cherry pit, been blown up by your friends in blue, was eaten by a giant owl, did a repeating cycle of starvation and dehydration in the desert, and was burned by dragons. I win."
"Win what?"
"Everything!" Azula stood up and tried to pull her topknot into its proper position. "So as long as these phoenixes chicks are using me as a birdhouse, I can't die?"
"That's right. See, a phoenix is a spirit of rebirth. It dies in fire, becoming a small sun in the sky for a brief moment, and then its successor form rises from the ashes. The spirits connected with you are using your deaths to feed, bringing you back to life each time until they're full grown and ready to take off on their own. In fact, that's why you've been dying so much. They're kind of- um, influencing your energies so that you're more prone to death, so that they can feed."
Azula raised her hands in triumph and ignited azure blazes in the palms of her hand. "Yes! I am not a repeated failure! I've had a cheap trick played on me by spirits and I would have otherwise survived all those situations!"
"Er," the Avatar said, "that's mostly true. The phoenixes told me the cherry pit wasn't their fault."
The strength suddenly left Azula's body, and she let her arms flop to her sides as she sat down again on the floor of the cell.
"Don't worry about it," Zuko said. He leaned down to try to pat her head in a comforting manner and said, "I've almost died in a lot of embarassing ways. You were there for some of them."
She didn't have the energy to grab his wrist, break his arm, and then use him as a hostage to secure her release, so she let him continue patting her. "Well, what happens next? I keep dying until the phoenixes are ready to leave, and then I go back to being mortal?"
The Avatar sighed. "That's definitely a way of putting it. Once they have enough energy, you'll explode and become a small sun where you're standing. The phoenixes will take flight using your flames. I'm told it will look really pretty. But then they'll be gone, and you- um, well, without a phoenix, you won't be reborn from your ashes. You'll be dead." He shrugged apologetically.
Zuko's eyes went wide and his patting stopped.
Azula made herself nod and take the news calmly. She should be used to death by now. But-
But-
She was going to be killed by something she couldn't have seen coming and couldn't fight off! She had already died at least once through her own fault, and her- her karmic balance or whatever had attracted these phoenix spirits. She couldn't do anything about any of it, but it was still her failure(s). Even Zuzu had managed not to die yet, and he was two years older than her!
Did that make her inferior to him?
In fact, the world was full of people who hadn't died, including some who had actually managed to get old! Azula was going to die while she was young (and beautiful and clever and strong and quick) like some kind of sickly person. She had always considered sickness to be a sign of personal failings, but this was even worse!
"Azula," Zuko said, as if from a distance, "are you okay?"
She looked at him. He was crouched next to her, his arm around her shoulder. It was odd to be touching him without trying to break one of his bones or choke the life out of him. "Do I look okay?"
"No," he said with no sense of tact whatsoever.
"So what do you care? You've won. I won't be able to terrorize you into becoming a proper tyrant. Or kill the heroes and leadership of the other nations so that the Fire Nation will remain ascendent. Or corrupt some powerful spirits to my cause so that I can usurp the Avatar. Or slowly undermine your control over your ministers through bribes and blackmail so that they secretly follow my orders and ignore everything you tell them."
Zuko was silent for a moment. "I don't remember that last one."
"Er, then pretend I didn't say anything about it yet." Azula sighed. "You managed to outlast me. Congratulations. Father was wrong about both of us. The best I can do is kill you right now, but what would be the point? Then we'd both be dead. And both Father and Mother would probably care more about your death anyway."
"That's not true," Zuko said. "Mother still loves you."
"And Father?"
"He definitely still remembered your name the last time I spoke to him six months ago."
Azula sniffled. "Thanks." So this was what it was like to be comforted by her big brother. It was better than Mother's attempts had been, at least.
"Um," the Avatar interjected, "I'm glad you two can share a moment like this, but you don't have to die if you don't want to. Avatar Ticasuk told me how to cure a phoenix infestation before they hatch, and it's not hard."
Azula snapped into motion, dislocating Zuko's shoulder with a twist of his arm and then slamming her elbow into his stomach. While he gasped for breath, she summoned a small focused flame at the end of her hand and sliced it across his throat like a blade. While her brother choked with a windpipe that could no longer pull air into his lungs, Azula lauched herself out of the cell and tackled the Avatar. Even his Airbender agility couldn't break free of her grasp, and she made him tell her the secret to purging the phoenixes under threat of his life. Once she got what she needed, she killed him anyway. Then it was just a matter of fleeing the palace, sneaking away before Zuzu's friends and allies even knew she was free. After that, she restored her mortality to its proper state, called in every ally and favor and weapon and minion she had access to, and revealed enough power that the rest of the world was forced to recognize her as Fire Lord. Everyone acknowledged her superiority, and Father admitted that she exceeded every expectation he had of her. She ruled and destroyed everything that stood against her, conquering all the lands underneath the sun. Then she turned to the Spirit World, learning the arcane arts and finding new weaknesses in it that allowed humanity to assert dominance over its ghosts and legends. She lived for over two and a half centuries, setting a new lifespan record, and she died upon her throne, shedding but a single tear that there were no worlds left for her to conquer.
Azula sighed and let the fantasy drift out of her mind. Every road led to death, and she preferred not to walk this one alone. She looked to her brother beside her and the Avatar standing above her. "So what do we do?"
The Avatar smiled. "Simple. You just have to burn yourself to death."
Azula stared at him. "What?"
She stood at the center of an occult sigil drawn in chalk on the floor of an old defiled temple. She was wearing the traditional garb of a Sun Warrior, and her limbs and stomach were painted along her chi-lines with forbidden names from blasphemous histories. It was the dead of night, but the light of the moon and stars failed to make their way through the half-collapsed roof, pushed back by a circle of primitive torches.
In one hand Azula held a bottle of Water Tribe hooch. The other hand was free so that she could summon her flames.
Zuzu gave her an encouraging wave. "Looking good!"
Azula ignored him, since she knew he was incapable of sarcasm, and looked to where the Avatar was standing beside him. "Tell me again how this works?"
The Avatar frowned. "I already did, and everyone else-" He motioned to Mai, Ty Lee, The Waterbender, Suki the Kyoshi Warrior, the little Earthbender, and Sokka, all standing by in case she turned on them or a demon was accidentally summoned. "They know what's going on, too. It's not like anyone here needs a reminder."
Azula glared at him and resisted the urge to scratch at the paint all over her skin. "Repitition is one of the foundations of learning. I want to do this perfectly and understand every facet like an expert in case something goes wrong. So tell me again."
"Um, sure." The Avatar swallowed. "Okay, so the Sun Warriors have rituals to temporarily increase a Firebender's chi capacity. It doesn't last for more than a moment and is mainly used for ceremonial purposes. You know, to commune with fire spirits and stuff like that. So Avatar Ticasuk adapted one of them to push the phoenixes out of a Firebender's body. But they need a path- they need to be born in fire. So you set yourself aflame with that Water Tribe drink at the same time I perform the ceremony. If everything goes well, you die a the moment after your chi flares, the phoenixes bring you back to life again just before they leave, and everyone is good and no spirits or humans die! If everything goes perfectly."
Zuko put a hand on the Avatar's shoulder and said, "Which it will. I trust you."
"Hey, Aang," Sokka called out from where he was setting up a portable desk with paper, ink, and a brush, "how many times did Avatar Whatshername do this?"
The Avatar frowned. "Successfully, or in total?"
"Don't answer that for the sake of my sanity," Azula bit out. "And what is the oaf doing over there?"
Sokka grinned at her. "Firebirds and a occult symbology and a girl lighting herself on fire with the best fermented seagull wine the South Pole has to offer? I have to artistically capture this moment. Even better if it's the last stand of Princess Azula!"
"Try the last stand of your insolent r- wait, what do mean by fermented seagull?!" Azula looked at the bottle in her hands. "How combustable is this?"
Zuko said, "I'm glad you're able to banter with my friends, but it's very late, and I don't want you to die no matter how convenient it would be for me. Right, everyone?"
Mai, Ty Lee, The Waterbender, Suki the Kyoshi Warrior, and the little Earthbender all made noises that were nowhere close to sounding agreeable. Sokka just continued painting the scene, and Azula started to wonder if his desk was just a cover for a bomb or collection of weapons.
But the Avatar gave an eager nod. "Zuko's right, we should get going with this. It has to be done during Wangliang's Hour, and night is wasting! I'll begin the chanting. Azula, when you're ready, douse yourself in the fermented whatever and set yourself on fire. Don't worry, because you'll almost certainly live if we get this right. Okay, let's go!"
As the Avatar began his chanting, Azula uncorked the bottle of hooch. She took a sniff of it, successfully kept herself from passing out, and considered what she was about to do.
The risk didn't bother her. The only alternative was certain death, so a chance of survival was acceptable even if it depended on that bald idiot. And she had a habit of defying the odds, even when she wasn't being artificially kept from the jaws of death by invasive spirit birds.
No, the problem was that Azula would have to give herself to death one more time before she could be free of it.
She had to fail one more time before she could succeed.
It wasn't rational. It shouldn't matter that she was dying again. She had already died plenty of times, and this time she was in complete control! But something about death stank of failure to her, and actually choosing to fail - choosing to give up on using her genius to find another way that would awe her enemies and impress Father - made her stomach churn and sapped the strength from her limbs. Despite the cold breeze and her ridiculous costume, she was breaking out into a sweat.
She summoned a flame in her free hand.
It began its life blue, but quickly started wavering. The color drifted into the regular oranges and reds and yellows of common fire. She pushed her will and her breath into it, making the tips lick at azure shades, but it was only a brief surge that soon faded away.
She had no more heat to give her flame.
If she chose this for herself, what would that start for her?
Would she stop fighting? Do penance for her crimes and serve her brother? Ally with the Avatar and his friends? Become a harmless fixture of a new era, a little bit of acceptable edge for when its nicer heroes needed something a bit more exciting? Would she become a new Iroh, a relic of the past whose specialty would be spouting lessons born of her regrets?
Or would she go out in a blaze of flame and a burst of immaterial feathers? Immortalized only in an ink drawing by Sokka, and now that she thought about it wasn't he supposed to be a terrible artist?
At least that would be the passive choice. She wouldn't have to debase herself. She could simply let it happen.
She screamed,both the fire in her hand and the torches blazed with cold blue light, and she threw the bottle of hooch into the air above her. Avatar Aang's chanting reached a crescnedo as the foul-smelling alcohol rained on her, and she threw the blaze in her hand up to intercept the bottle.
It exploded into liquid fire.
Azula laughed as she burned.
Rising above the sound was the screeching of a flock of birds.
And then there was just the silence of ashes.
When Azula was alive again, she took the blanket offered by The Waterbender and pointed at Sokka. "I get approval on distirbution of any art you make based on that!"
The Avatar pulled his hand back from Azula's forehead and smiled. "Well, I don't see anything or anyone else in you, and nothing attacked aside from your one reflexive attempt to bite my finger. It's just your spirit in your body."
Azula allowed herself to breathe a sigh of relief. "Thank you. Without your help- well, I shudder to think about going through that without being able to be reborn from my own ashes."
Zuko stepped over and pulled her into a hug. "And thank you for allowing us to help."
"Yes, you should be thankful. For a moment there, I considered making you deal with not having me in your life." She patted his back and gave a chuckle, letting him know that it was merely banter like his friends indulged in and not a true statement.
(It was only half true.)
Zuko loosened his grip on her so that they coud both face the Avatar again. The three of them were back in her cell in the palace dungeons, and the new morning was casting its sunlight through the thin barred window near the ceiling.
"According to Avatar Ticasuk," Aang said, "you're completely mortal again. You should avoid visiting the Spirit World for a few weeks, and definitely don't summon any of the Elder Guardians, in case the phoenix scent attracts something else to try to possess you. But other than that, I'm giving you a clean bill of incorporeal health! An actual bill may follow later if Katara makes me."
"So," Azula said with a chuckle, leaning fondly against her brother, "I'm free to escape and continue my reign of terror as though I'm completely lacking in gratidue for what you've done for me."
Avatar Aang chuckled. "I guess you are."
"Wait," Zuko said, "how is that funny?"
Azula rested her head on his shoulder. "It's not."
She snapped into motion, driving and elbow into Zuko's stomach with enough force to cause him to retch, and a shove sent him flying head-first into the Avatar. The Airbender was quick, summoning a wind to cushion Zuzu's impact and giving him something to attack with, but Azula was already filling the small cell with flames, so the moving air immediately became a hazard to everyone who couldn't Firebend. Everyone in the cell could Firebend, of course, but right now the supposed Fire Lord was a little too busy gasping for breath and trying not to lose his breakfast. That left the Avatar to protect him, which he was doing quite capably up to the point where the toe of Azula's boot - they had helpfully given her back her only partially icing-filled armor after she returned the burned scraps of that ridiculous Sun Warrior costume - connected with the arrow tattooed on his forehead in a perfectly (of course) solid kick. Zuzu's attempt to grab for her got the other boot to his face.
Then Azula walked out of the cell, leaving them behind, and continued with her escape plan. It would be just as fun as getting out of Ba Sing Se, and take less time.
Once she was a good distance from the Caldera, Azula stopped and looked back along her path. From here, it was impossible to see any sign of what had to be a rather frantic manhunt for her. Zuzu should be paying her for all the exercise she was providing his lazy security forces.
Well, this had all proven to be an interesting experience. But now that she was done with dying, she had to get back to her secret base. She needed to begin rebuildling her ranks and forming a new elite strike team. She also wanted to properly implement an elite research team based on the lessons learned from the prototype research team eaten by dragons. The next time she saw Zuzu, she would be in a proper position to force him to either become a true Fire Lord in their father's image or hand all his power over to her, whichever took her fancy when the opportunity came.
Or she could choose to go back and see where that path took her.
Choose failure. Again. And perhaps be reborn.
Azula snorted and turned to leave.
She took three steps, and then glanced back again.
She stood there in the road for a long time.
END