Atonement: Hayase's Inner Turmoil
Based on the Manga series "Ijiranaide, Nagatoro-San" By Nanashi and the Artwork of Panzer Meido
By AntonSolo
AUTHOR'S NOTES: I'm pausing for a moment during my work on "Guess What, Senpai?" to put this little one-shot together. Many of you who are members of the Nagatoro subreddit are no doubt familiar with the artwork of the artist PanzerMeido, who is responsible for the wonderful "Hachiouji Family" art series, depicting Hayase and Naoto's four children, Misota and Ina, their oldest twin daughters, Nana, their youngest daughter who takes after Naoto, and youngest child and only son, Toda, which was the original inspiration for "Guess What, Senpai?"
In addition to the family artwork, she has done a few more daring pieces, not so subtly suggesting that the girls and Bunny President Sana have been, shall we say, "Enjoying Senpai" in every manner you can think of, likely behind Hayacchi's back. Granted this seems a bit out of character for them, but it did lead to her post a recent follow up to that line of art, where Hayase has, for lack of a better term, snapped mentally and is walking away from Naoto by claiming that all of those incidents were punishment for some great sin she committed, and that she must atone before she can be worthy of being loved by Naoto.
It would be an understatement to say that this piece of art didn't have a major effect on the subreddit thread. My personal reaction was to write up a reaction by Naoto to her leaving, his heartbreaking screams for her to come back struck a chord, so much so I was asked to write up Hayase's side of the incident, which I did as a monumental battle in her head between two sides of her personality, The side that was in love with Naoto, represented by her "Neko-Toro" character, and the "Dark Side" of her consciousness, represented by the "Demon-Toro" character from Naoto's fantasy dream turned nightmare.
I'm not going to lie, I do get disturbed with the thought of Naoto being unfaithful to Hayase and acting on it with her closest friends and Sana Sunomiya, the Former Art Club President. However, in thinking about it, the thought occurred to me, what if those images she was seeing were merely illusions brought on by her fear of their relationship failing?
Like Naoto's nightmare vision at the Jishu Shrine, it would make sense that Hayase's fears manifest themselves in the way that she teases her Senpai. She constantly refers to him as a Pervert, so what if her fears manifested themselves in those images? And who would be the ones to hurt her the most than her friends, Gamo, Yoshi, and Sakura? I thought about what other ways that her fear could harm her, but the thought of Hayase cutting herself bothers me, because I have friends who have suffered with that kind of physical trauma on themselves and frankly, I don't want to depict that happening to Hayase.
The conflict inside her over her feelings for Senpai would have been raging for some time, but there would need to be a trigger that causes her to imagine the worst possible things. Something as innocent as seeing each of the girls coming out of the Art Club Room individually on different days when she is doing something with the Judo club. Something as innocent as them asking for advice on something or even one of Gamo's usual impish remarks gets taken the wrong way, or worse, Senpai doesn't react to it like he normally does.
Then the perfect reason for the subterfuge was apparent, Senpai and the girls were planning a surprise party for her, and all of the sneaking around was to not let Hayase find out. But the Law of Unintended Consequences rears its ugly head and down this death spiral we go. I have written dark scenes before in my mystery novels, but this is the first time that I have depicted the unraveling of a person's resolve in such a manner. It was hard to keep emotions in check because these characters have become a beloved couple to me and I am a firm believer in Love conquering all, even if it doesn't always happen in our real lives.
So please, if you enjoyed this, drop a thank you to Panzer Meido on Twitter for her marvelous artwork…
"How many days was it now? How can I even look him in the face? Why am I like this?" Questions abounded inside the head of Hayase Nagatoro, as she struggled with her demons inside her mind. For days, she'd been tormented by images she couldn't dismiss. Images of her friends walking out of the Art Club room at different times of the day, when her Senpai was in there, all alone. She had been stuck with Judo practice, but even then her Senpai had been oddly distracted.
All of her friends were acting strange, like everyone was avoiding her.
Senpai was quiet on our walks home, he hardly talked of late, then started staying late working on some major project with the Art Club President, who was back in an advisory role. What is he hiding?
"Senpai, why are you so quiet? Did I do something wrong?" I asked him one night while walking home.
"No, Nagatoro, everything's fine, this art project is a lot more complicated than I anticipated. I'm sorry if I'm being distant, but this could result in a full scholarship for college," Senpai had no reason to lie to me, but even in his answer, he wasn't his usual pervy self. It was like he was a different person altogether. Why was he like this? Deep inside, a voice answered, "You know what you did, Hayacchi, this is your fault…"
I ran home without another word, leaving Senpai behind. I didn't stop running until I was in my room. I buried myself under the blanket and cried. All the while, the voice in my head got louder, "you know they're using Senpai like the pervert he is. You don't want him, so they're taking their turns…"
I covered my ears from the sound, but I couldn't escape it. "You know Gamo must have enjoyed him so much, the way she talks about him… and Sakura… well, you know how much experience she has… I bet she taught him a thing or two… And the President… She's a REAL Woman, whereas you… what are you, Hayase?"
There was a knock on my door, "Hey sis, are you alright in here? Dinner's ready." Sis waited for me to answer, "I'm fine, I'm not hungry."
"Are you sure? Dad got Negimaki from your favorite place," she said.
The voice in my head went silent, and the thought of the negimaki made me feel better. I opened the door, "Okay, now I'm hungry," I said as I blew past her. I ate my fill of dinner and came back to try to study. I must have fallen asleep at my desk but I didn't sleep well.
"Come on, Paisen, I know Hayacchi won't know about this," Gamo's voice echoed through the halls by the club rooms, "She won't know we're doing this at all, trust me," she was afraid to get closer then she heard Senpai respond, "all right, Gamo, let's do this…" Shock and fear covered her face as she ran away from the club room, the hallway suddenly getting infinitely longer as Senpai's words echoed, slower and louder, "Let's do this…" The hallway suddenly gave way to a vision of Gamo kneeling before Senpai, and his head back, like some of the pictures in one of his pervy mangas. Nagatoro Screamed as a voice behind her spoke up, as she saw the shadow of someone with horns on the floor in front of her,"See? You drove him into Gamo's arms, Hayase, you did this to yourself, all you had to do was tell him how you felt."
"AAAAHHHH!" she sat upright in her bed, gasping for air as she looked around to see her back in her room. "What the Hell?" She asked as her disorientation dissipated, and a knock at her door broke her concentration,
"Hayase? Are you okay? I heard a scream. I'm coming in," Her sister said. She opened the door to find her little sister clutching her knees rocking slightly, "Hayase, it's all right, it's just a dream, it wasn't real, okay?" Her sister put her head on her sister's chest and did something she hadn't done since she was little, she wrapped her arms around her waist and cried. "Sis… I…" was all she could get out.
"It's okay, Hayase-kun, Onee-Chan is right here, I'll keep the nightmares away like when you were little.": She gently rocked her sister until she fell asleep again, then laid down with her, cradling her like when she was small and she dreamed a Yokai demon was chasing her around the Dojo.
It had been four days and Hayase had not had a good night's sleep in any of those nights. Thankfully, exams were long since past and she didn't have to worry about anything school-related. However, the nagging feeling that Gamo and Senpai were hiding something wouldn't leave her. Now she saw Sakura leave the Art Club room one day waving and blowing a kiss back. Hayase thought the worst and scampered away from the room, not seeing a new first-year boy walk out, shaking Senpai's hand. Hayase ran home and didn't bother with Judo practice, asking Orihara to tell the Judo Club Coach that she was having cramps, which got her excused from practice.
She didn't stop running until she got to her home. In her haste, she didn't notice Sakura and the boy from the Art Club sitting in the park, laughing together. She didn't see Gamo and Yoshi coming out of the local bakery with a penguin picture in Yoshi's hand. And she certainly didn't notice her older brother and Senpai at a local electronics market buying something. She slammed the door to her room and clutched one of the big penguins on her bed. But then she remembered that it was one that Senpai gave her on their first date to the local aquarium and she threw it against the wall, "No!" she shouted as she tossed the beloved plush toy away. "Aww, the poor penguin, he has to suffer because you know what he meant to you," the voice in her head taunted her, "If you only knew all the trouble you caused because you're afraid, Hayacchi. And Now, all your friends get to enjoy Senpai more."
"SHUT UP!" She shouted in her head, "SHUT UP. SHUT UP, SHUT UP!" The voice merely laughed, as Hayase cried into her pillow. She didn't come down for the rest of the night. Later that night, her sister peeked in, worried about her for the last couple of days. She quietly swiped her phone and looked up Senpai's contact information, putting it back once she had what she needed. Before she left the room, though, she sat on the edge of the bed, gently rubbing Hayase's back when she started wiggling again.
"Sssshhh, Hayase-Kun, Onee-Chan is here." she whimpered in her sleep, "I'm a bad girl, Onee-Chan, I hurt Senpai," she mumbled. Sis looked at her, leaned in and whispered, "If you really love him, he'll forgive you, because you know he loves you, Hayase." Hayase turned on her side again, "Senpai doesn't love me, I hurt him too much," she said as silent tears flowed down her cheek. "He's better off with Gamo or Sakura, they know what boys like." Sis looked at her phone, then leaned down and kissed her sister, "Put it out of your mind, Hayase, your birthday will be here soon, and you'll see that you're worried over nothing." Hayase just whimpered and settled down. She walked out of her sister's room and outside the house, making a call. "Is this Senpai Hachiouji? It's Hayase's Sister, Haruna. Do you have a moment to talk?"
Hayase stayed in bed all day, having no classes that Sunday. But she didn't want to see anyone. She ignored Gamo's LINE messages, as well as Yoshi's. Sakura said she had a date with a new boy, but Hayase was sure it was Senpai she was seeing. She was the kind of girl who would easily get close to a boy if it pleased her, no matter who else was hurt by it.
She looked at the penguin in the corner of the room, forgetting that she threw it there last night in a pique of anger. "How did you get over there, Hachi?" She named both plush penguins after the birds at the Aquarium in Kyoto, Hachi and Toro. She always kept them together, but today, she put Hachi in a chair away from her bed, and turned Toro to look away from Hachi. She got dressed in something casual and grabbed her math book and went downstairs for something to eat.
"Oh there you are, sleepy head," her mother said from the kitchen. "Hayase, can you run to the store and grab some vegetables for dinner tonight? I forgot to get some yesterday." Hayase nodded and grabbed some money from her mother's purse. "I got some cash from your wallet Mom, I'll be back shortly."
She ran out of the house, down to the convenience store not too far from where she and Senpai part at the end of their walks. She took a wistful look in that direction and was surprised to see a motorcycle and sidecar drive that way. She might not have given it a second thought were it not for the prominent bunny ears on the helmets of the riders. It was Sana and Hana Sunomiya, Senpai's Art Club colleagues, and in Hayase's mind, His greatest temptations.
They turned in the direction of Senpai's house and she followed a little ways back. She found the bike parked at his house, but the two riders were gone, most likely inside his house. She quickly ran back to the store and grab what her mother was waiting for but cried all the way home, thinking that Senpai's betrayal of her was complete, that he had given himself to The Bunny Woman who couldn't keep her clothes on and her clone, no doubt doing all manner of dirty things to both of them.
"See, Hayase? Why would he want a flat-chested ice queen who won't do all the dirty things you say he likes? He can have a real Woman with real breasts…" the voice was now taunting her physical features. It was all too much. "Face it, this is what you get for teasing the poor boy, you broke his heart, and now he's taken all of your friends' virginities." the voice then giggled wickedly, "isn't it ironic? All that time you called him a virgin creep. And now the only virgin left… is You! A-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
She cried incessantly as she ran home, sick to her stomach with that knowledge, she was the lone virgin now of all her friends, she assumed, based on what the voice in her head was telling her. As she slowed down, her eye caught a glint in a local store window, a golden chain choker was displayed in the window of the local jewelry store, and Hayase's tears stopped as she realized what she needed to do. She walked in and bought the pretty chain then went home.
The next day, she didn't wait for Senpai to walk with her to school, and aside from class time avoided the girls. The only thing she did do, as far as her friends were concerned, was send a group LINE message telling them to meet her in the park that afternoon. She was going to confess her sins and leave their lives for a while so she could atone for her evil deeds.
Gamo, Yoshi and Sakura made their way to the Art Club room at lunch, where Senpai and Hana were working on landscape sketches based on the view from windows in the room. Gamo held up her phone, "Hey, Paisen? Do you have any idea what Hayacchi is up to? She's been acting strange the last couple of days, and now this."
Hana looked over her shoulder, "I am at a loss as well, Gamo-Senpai, Nagatoro-Senpai wouldn't even acknowledge my greeting this morning, she slipped on her shoes and ran off."
"Strange," was all Yoshi said.
"Hayacchi-Kun has been avoiding everyone, even Shikki and Orihara said she hasn't been to Judo Club practice in a couple days," Sakura said, worried as well.
"You don't think she is upset we were trying to throw that part for her, do you?" Hana asked. Senpai put down the colored pencil he was using on the sky of his sketch, "I don't think she knows, otherwise, she would have said something about finding out. Everything is ready to go right for tomorrow night?" He asked. Everyone nodded, "All we need to do is get her to your house, and we'll take it from there," Gamo said, smiling.
"Let's head down and see what this is all about then,"Hana said, putting away her sketch and grabbing her school bag. The others followed suit as Senpai locked up the room for the day.
Naoto and the girls were sitting at the park, discussing the final plans for Hayase's surprise party when she walked up. Everyone stopped talking about the party. Hana and Sana were leaving the bakery to see the finished penguin cake for the party when they spotted Hayase walking towards everyone.
"Hey Hayacchi, what's up, what did you want to tell us?" Gamo asked as she went to slap her shoulder, but was surprised to have her hand blocked. "I have something to say to you all."
Hayase stood away from everyone, "I'm sorry, but I can't do this anymore. Senpai, I'm sorry but I can't be with you. I don't deserve to be with you, I'm a bad person and I've hurt you."
Everyone froze and Naoto looked at her, "Hayase, what are you talking about, you're not Bad."
She smiled and patted his head, "Silly Senpai, I've hurt you from the day we met. I called you names, made you cry, and drove you to have sex with my friends and yours…"
The Five girls all at once said, "WWWHHHAAATTTT?!" The very idea that the girls would do something like that with the one boy who respected them and never expected anything in return was alien to them. "Nagatoro-Senpai, if this is a joke, it's not funny," Hana said with a look as if she would strangle Hayase.
Sana was more direct, she stepped to her and slapped her hard, "I've heard some ridiculous things from you, but This! How Dare You!" Gamo and Hana grabbed Sana and pulled her back.
Hayase stood there with a strange look on her face, her cheek reddening from Sana's slap. "You loved it, Senpai. The attention, the pressure, the teasing. The girls have come to love you, I bet they even like to pay for that love."
Gamo now needed to be restrained as she tried to lunge for Hayase, "You Lying Bitch! I never laid a finger on Paisen, He's ALWAYS BEEN YOUR LOVE! WE ALL KNEW THAT, WE WOULD NEVER BETRAY YOU LIKE THAT!" Hayase smiled, "I know you all would visit the Art Club Room at odd times, I'd heard things. I know that it's my fault you wanted him to yourselves." She started to smile strangely, as if it wasn't actually the Hayase they knew and loved. This wasn't Hayase talking, it was like another person had taken over her body.
She opened her shirt and revealed a chain choker around her neck. None of them had seen that particular piece of jewelry on her before. In fact, Hayase never wore anything in the way of jewelry other than her ear cuff and two hair barrettes.
"Hayase? Why are you wearing that choker? Where did you get it?" Naoto asked. She smiled almost demonically, "This chain is my punishment for my sins against you, Senpai. It will stay until I have atoned for My sins. Until I am allowed to love again, to love you again."
She turned around and began to walk away, "HAYASE! WAIT!" He shouted. She stopped and looked back, her eyes now an odd purple hue, almost shining in the fading light as clouds began to gather above. "You Don't have to do this, we can fix this, Together. Please," He put his hand out to her, "Let Me help you, please. I Love You, and I won't abandon you, ever." His words were the most sincere thing he had said to her since the day of the Judo tournament when she earned her kiss.
But they fell on deaf ears, "That ain't real for you, Senpai. You continue to be loved by everyone here and forget about Me, okay? I will disappear and remain alone until I reach atonement for My sins against you, and I can be allowed to love you again." She turned and ran off, making a turn away from her home and towards the mountains.
"What Just Happened?" Gamo asked, holding tightly to Sakura and Yoshi's hands.
"Did she…" Yoshi Started to ask.
"She thinks we…" Sakura was almost ghostly pale at the insinuation that she had sex with Senpai. Sakura was crying, as was Yoshi. Hana stood ramrod straight alongside Sana, "Sana-Itoku, What has happened to Nagatoro-Senpai? Why did she lie like that?" Sana stood silently, at a loss for words to explain the last 15 minutes. "Hachiouji-Kouhai!" she exclaimed and turned to him.
Naoto, who had watched her disappear around the corner, fell to his knees, in disbelief of what just transpired. In fact all of the girls stood there in shock, nobody was able to understand what she was talking about.
"Did she find out about the surprise party?" Sakura asked.
"Weird," was all Yoshi said, still trying to process what she said.
"Oh No, Itoko-san, did she just…" Hana asked. Sana stood next to her, grabbing her young cousin's hand, "I think she did, Hana. We must see that Hachio,… Naoto-kouhai is not completely broken by this."
Naoto, still on his knees, said softly, "Don't leave me, Hayase... I-I love you …" All of the girls stopped as they heard him say this, and turned to look at him. The reality of what just transpired began to hit them like an out-of-control truck on a rain-slicked road.
"Oh God, she didn't…" Sakura gasped.
Yoshi could only look at Gamo, whose cheeks were streaked with tears, "Gamo?"
"Hayacchi, Why?" was all that the red-head could get out, as the three of them grabbed each other's hand for support.
Hana and Sana both moved to Naoto's side, trying to help him stand up.
His chest was heaving slowly, in and out, as he repeated his words, louder this time.
"I LOVE YOU, HAYASE NAGATORO! DON'T LEAVE ME!"
Slowly, he got to his feet, both Sunomiyas steadying him on either side, his fists clenched staring in the direction she ran. From deep inside him, his voice carried through the rain like the distant thunder heard in the mountains of the peninsula.
"YOU ARE FORGIVEN, HAYASE! PLEASE! COME BACK TO ME! I DON'T WANT TO LIVE WITHOUT YOU! I don't want… to…" His voice suddenly trailed off as he stood there, putting his head on Sana's shoulder. Gamo came up to him, "Paisen?" He looked at her, and closed his eyes as he began to bawl loudly, prompting Gamo to wrap her arms around him in a Hug, "Paisen, it's all right, let it all out," she told him as Yoshi and Sakura joined the hug. Sana and Hana, who had been holding him up, released him to the girls' embraces and joined them, all five holding their friend as he dealt with a situation no one saw coming.
Hayase ran as fast as she could, tears flying from her eyes as she tried to run home, but with the sudden rain, her foot slipped and she went tumbling into one of the cinder block planters along the road. She yelped in pain as her back slammed into the planter.
"Oww!" She cried out from the pain, but didn't get up right away. She was suddenly paralyzed by a conflict inside her mind.
INSIDE HAYASE'S MIND
Synapses are firing like cannon shots, impulses glowing like flak bursts, all the while a battle rages on inside her subconscious. Inside her subconscious, one figure is standing over the other, laughing, while the other is pleading for her life.
"BITCH! YOU'RE KILLING HIM DOING THIS! LET ME GO! I LOVE HIM! NAOTO, SAVE ME!" The figure of "Neko-Toro" is chained to a post by her wrists, while "Demon-Toro" towers over her, whip in her hand. She flicks the whip hard over her head, the crack of the whip echoing in the landscape.
"YOU DON'T DESERVE HIM! WHEN ARE YOU GONNA ACCEPT YOU'RE A BAD GIRL, HAYACCHI?!" Neko-Toro pulled as hard as she could on the chain, trying to break it and get free, but the chain would budge.
She screamed at her, "FACE ME, YOU HEARTLESS TRAMP! I WANNA FIGHT FOR HIM!"
Demon-Toro grinned at her words and snapped her fingers, releasing Neko-Toro from the chains, Waving her to her, using the "Bring it" motion as a taunt.
"I'LL MAKE SURE YOU SUFFER BEFORE I PUT AN END TO YOU, KITTY CAT!" Neko-Toro's Ears and Tail twitched as she launched herself at Demon-Toro, pummeling her with punches, screaming the whole time. The Demon blocked every punch, laughing as her eyes glowed deep red.
Hayase's body was rocking slowly, leaning against a wall, a bit of a way from where she left Naoto and their friends, but out of their sight, and ironically, about a block or two from Naoto's house. Her eyes were closed but tears continued to flow as the internal struggle in her mind kept her body paralyzed. Instinctively, her hands were crossed over her head, as if she was protecting herself from falling items.
Back at the park, everyone fanned out looking for Hayase. Clearly, they thought, something snapped in her mind, because she wasn't making any sense with what she was saying. Hayase wasn't someone who drank or used drugs, the closest she ever came was when she accidentally got drunk with some whiskey chocolates the time she wanted to show Senpai what it was like to go drinking as an adult.
Inside Hayase's mind, the two aspects of her consciousness were locked in a clinch, Neko-Toro screaming as she struggled to keep the Demon at bay.
"I NEED HIM IN MY LIFE! I LOVE HIM! YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO HIM!"
The Demon gripped her cat paws, making her claws extend. "OH, NOW YOU LOVE HIM?! EVERY TIME YOU CALLED HIM A PERV, YOU MADE HIS HEART BLEED!"
"I WAS JOKING! I CAN SEE HE'S NOT A PERVERT! I WAS JUST SCARED OF WHAT I WAS FEELING!"
"SO YOU THINK THAT MAKES IT ALL BETTER? 'OH, SORRY, I HAVE BEEN IN LOVE WITH YOU SO I WAS JUST KIDDING, TEE-HEE!' THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS, HAYASE, AND YOU DAMN WELL KNOW IT!"
Neko-Toro stopped a moment, allowing Demon-Toro to grab her by her costume, and sent her flying with an Ippon Throw. She landed with a thud on her back, stunning her.
"NOW DO YOU GET IT?! YOU MADE ME BECAUSE YOU WERE TOO SCARED TO TELL HIM YOU LIKED HIM! YOU BROKE HIS HEART BECAUSE YOU WERE AFRAID TO GIVE HIM YOURS!"
As she spoke those words, Demon-Toro suddenly clutched her chest and dropped to her knees, a look of fear on her face, Neko-Toro was scrambling up to her knees, when she also clutched her chest, feeling something similar, as a light shoots out from their chests, meeting between them.
The two of them screamed in Unison, "WHAT'S HAPPENING TO ME?!"
A figure began to take shape between the two, a lanky, tousled-hair boy with glasses, holding his hand out to both of them. The two gasped as they recognized Senpai standing between them, a placid, serene smile on his face.
"Hayase... Please, come back... I know you are still here... I love you, all of you, and ONLY You..."
The boy's hands were reaching out to the two sides of her, palms open, motioning each to take them, pulling them together in a three-way hug.
"I don't care if you tease Me, I just want you to tell Me you love Me, the good and the bad part of you, because I accepted that this is who you are to Me, you tease me because you love me."
Neko-Toro and the Demon-Toro looked at each other and began to cry uncontrollably as they threw their arms around the boy, feeling a warmth between them all, as a white light enveloped them...
GASP! Hayase's eyes opened with a start, unable to tell how long she had been on the ground, but her shirt was wet from the rain and her tears. She moved herself into a kneeling position but stayed looking down at the ground, tears still falling. She reached for the choker around her neck and fumbled to remove it, finally unclasping it and throwing it aside.
She looked up to the sky and screamed, "SENPAIIIIII! I'M SORRY!" repeating the last two words over and over in a softer and softer voice, her body folding up like she was begging for forgiveness to him. After she managed to calm down enough, she tried to stand up, but her legs were numb from kneeling on the hard pavement and she had to steady herself on the short planter box wall. She turned around to discover all of her friends standing in a circle around her.
"Hayacchi? Are you back with us?" Gamo asked tentatively. Hayase has a frightened look on her face, then threw herself into her girlfriend's arms, crying like her grandmother had just died again. One by one, the girls joined the hug, including Hana.
Sana, However, remained a few feet apart, she was already supporting Naoto at her side, holding her Kouhai like a mother Bear held a cub closely. He took a step from Sana, moving slowly towards Hayase. A moment later, a voice merely said, "Hayase?" The girls slowly released her, putting them face-to-face.
"Naoto, I... I'm sorry for what I said. I'm sorry I hurt you like that..." His hand gently stroked her face, making her blush as the afternoon rain continued to fall, drenching everyone, but nobody moved.
"Hayase... please... You're Forgiven... Just tell Me you love Me... "
She started crying again, throwing her arms around him. "I DO! I HAVE ALWAYS LOVED YOU! SINCE THAT DAY IN THE LIBRARY!" she screamed as loud as she could, her friends all adding to the tears as she admitted her feelings. He just held her, stroking her back, whispering softly, "I Love you too, Hayase, now and forever..." She collapsed in his arms. her consciousness giving out after beating herself up.
Naoto sighed and picked her up in his arms. "Come on, my house is just down the road here, we can all dry off and figure out what happened."
Gamo put her hand up, "Wait, we're gonna need a change of clothes, no way you got stuff to fit us, Paisen." She turned to Yoshi, "Yosh, go get us dry clothes from our houses, Hayase's house, too. If her sister is there, just tell her we're all at Paisen's for the party, and Paisen spilled something on her." Naoto didn't even try to argue, "Yoshi, Go!" he said, and with a wet contrail, Yoshi sped off towards their homes.
"Come on, we need to get out of the rain," Naoto cradled the unconscious Hayase as he and the rest of her friends followed him to his house, where they waited out the rain.
It took a couple of hours for the rains to ease but by then Hayase was fast asleep in Naoto's bed, Gamo and Sakura made sure that once Yoshi got back, they changed her into some dry clothes. Hana and Sana always kept a change of clothes in Sana's saddle bags for such an occasion. In no time, the wet clothes were in the dryer and everyone else was sitting in the living room trying to make sense of what happened.
"So, can anyone figure out just What the Hell all that was?" Gamo asked. Naoto was in the kitchen, making a hot pot with Hana and Sakura's help. "All I know is that she was avoiding us for the last three or four days. Do you think she saw us planning the party by chance?" He asked as he stirred the hot pot.
Yoshi looked out the window, "When did she get that choker?" she asked, the item in question gripped in her hand, having picked it up on her way back to Naoto's. Sana stood up and turned to the door. "I am not sure, but when Hana and I came to visit Naoto-Kouhai yesterday, I think she saw us drive up, and it's possible she followed us here," she said, crossing her arms under her breasts.
"I did appreciate that Hana found my wallet in the Club room yesterday, it must have fallen out of my pocket while giving her the money to repay Sunomiya-Senpai for getting the decorations from the aquarium," in the corner of the living room, a large gift bag filled with penguin-themed decorations sat for the party. "Maybe she saw us all getting this party together and something in her mind made her think the worst."
"Oh, could she have seen me blow a kiss to your young friend Kinichi when he was talking with you about advising the student council on the artwork for the cultural festival?" Sakura covered her mouth in fear. She and the young first-year had hit it off and had made no secret of their seeing each other. "Oh, she must have thought I was blowing a kiss to you, Senpai-Kun." Naoto, standing in the doorway of the kitchen with the hot pot tureen, turned bright red, which brought a rare smile to everyone's face, "Now THERE'S the Paisen we know and hayase loves," Gamo said with a grin.
Hayase's voice was heard upstairs, "Naoto?!" she called out, realizing where she was. "I'll be right back," He said as he headed upstairs, "Hana has bowls and spoons, everyone help yourself." He hurried upstairs.
He got to his room and knocked softly, "Hayase? I'm coming in," he said, as he opened the door slowly. Hayase was sitting up in his bed, holding her knees. "Naoto… Thank you…" She looked like she was on the verge of crying again. Naoto moved to the edge of the bed, sitting down next to her and putting his arms around her.
"I want to apologize for what we were up to, we were putting a surprise party together for you to celebrate you qualifying for the Empress' Cup Tournament," He held her closely, and heard a sigh. "Wait, you all were putting together a party for me?" her face fell even more, "You were all… going to do something nice for Me." She buried her face in his shoulder, embarrassed by what she assumed and said. "Oh, Naoto, I'm so sorry. I don't know why I thought the worst of you all,"
He lifted her head and kissed her hard and deep. "Hayase, Never in a billion lifetimes, would I EVER do anything with anyone that would hurt you. I Love You, Hayase, I want to be with you forever, and ONLY You." she wrapped her arms around him and laid back down on his bed again, "Stay with me for now, I don't want to be with anyone else but you." He smiled and nodded, "Just let me close the door, okay. Oh, just so you know, everyone is downstairs, worried about you." Her eyes went wide, not realizing that they weren't alone. "I'll tell everyone to go ahead and eat without us, I'll stay here with you, okay?" She blushed and nodded, "Okay, Senpai, I trust you."
He smiled and walked to the door. "Gamo? Can you come up here for a moment?" Gamo bounded up the stairs, "Is she okay, Paisen?" Gamo had a concerned look on her face, one he'd never seen before. "Hayase, are you up to seeing Gamo for a moment?" She nodded and motioned him to join her on the bed. "Hey, Hayacchi, are you feeling better?"
Hayase jumped off the bed and hugged her, "Maki, I'm so sorry, I freaked out over the stupidest thing, can you forgive me?" The two girls began to cry and hug tighter.
At the doorway, Yoshi and Sakura's heads popped up, "Forgiveness?" Yoshi said. Sakura smiled, then ran in to join the four girls were crying and hugging, "I'm sorry for hurting you all, please forgive me," she kept saying. The girls just told her, "We forgive you, and we love you." They finally claimed down enough to let go of each other, as the last of the guests stodd in the doorway. "Is there room for us as well?" Hana asked as Sana stood behind her, a look of genuine concern on her own face. Hayase walked to the doorway, "I owe you both a huge apology, I don't know what happened to me these last few days, it was as if I was a prisoner in my own head."
Hana hugged her briefly, "Nagatoro-Senpai should know that Sana-Chan and I have always wanted to see you and Hachiouji-Senpai's love become real. We will ALWAYS be supporting you both." Sana leaned down and kissed Hayase on the forehead, "You are a stubborn Cat-girl, but My Kouhai's heart will ALWAYS belong to you, and I can't think of someone more deserving than you."
She looked up at Naoto, "Hana and I are going to take our leave, Naoto-Chan. Let us know when you wish to reschedule this celebration for your beloved. We will be here for it. Thank you for the excellent meal, also. Come Hana, Grandfather is expecting us soon." Hana nodded and bowed to her collective Senpais as the two headed out.
"Bunny Woman's right, we should get going too, girls," Gamo said, rubbing Hayase's shoulder. "I promise we will never try to surprise you like that again, Hayacchi." The four girls hugged and also took off. Before they left, Gamo and Sakura made sure the Hot pot was covered up and in the fridge, while Yoshi put the dirty dishes into the dishwasher and started it up.
Soon it was just the two of them in his room, "Naoto, will you hold Me, please?" She put her arms around his neck and leaned on his body.
Naoto gently lifted her in his arms and carried her back to his bed, laying her down on the side, then laying down next to her. She curled up on his side, her head laying on his chest, one arm wrapped around his waist, and a leg laying across his, as if she was holding on for dear life.
"Please forgive me, Senpai, I shouldn't have doubted you." He held her in his arms, brushing the hair from her forehead and kissing it gently, feeling the feverish warmth from it. "I forgive you, Hayase, I love you very much." She fell asleep in his arms not too long after, and stayed with him for the rest of the day.
The sound of his phone ringing woke him up. He answered the phone, and a familiar voice was talking to him, "Senpai? It's Haruna Nagatoro. Is my sister still at your house?"
Naoto sat up in bed slowly, Hayase had rolled on her other side, freeing his arm. "Yes, she's still here, she decided to stick around and do some studying with me. Is she needed at home?"
He could almost hear a smile over the phone, "No, Senpai, we trust her with you, you ARE her boyfriend, after all. Just don't make Me an aunt just yet, okay? I'll call you when she needs to be home, unless you two want some more alone time," she giggled.
Naoto nearly fainted, but managed to keep his cool, "Thanks for the head's up, and I promise, not until we're married okay?"
That made her laugh, "See you later, Senpai-in-Law," she said as she hung up.
"Naoto, what was all that about?" she turned to look at him, her eyes half-open. "It's nothing, just your sister trying to tease me," He grinned at her, "Problem is, she's not as good at it as you, though." He smiled at her and leaned over to kiss her. Her stomach growled in response to his kiss, and he almost laughed at it.
"I'm hungry, Naoto, is there anything to eat?"she moved next to him, laying her head on his lap. "Of course, my love, there should be some Hot Pot left downstairs, are you up to coming down?" She looked up at him, "As long as you're by my side, Senpai, I'll go anywhere you want." He kissed her and helped her up, putting his arm around her waist and walking downstairs, together.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: This story grew out of an illustration by the Artist Panzermeido and my own visceral reaction to it. In the short time that I have watched and read Naoto and Hayase's love story, and that's exactly what it is, I felt a genuine tug at my own emotional past, remembering a time when I was just like Senpai, awkward, artistic, but something of a loner. I didn't have many friends, but there was one girl in Junior High, who turned my world upside down, in a good way.
She didn't tease me like Hayase, but she made my heart sing when we were together. It was a different time then, 1984. The Olympics were coming to LA that summer, and I had plans for the two of us to spend our days at two of the venues near where we lived. I was going to spend every moment we could together doing anything two young teens with a couple of bus passes and an International Sports Event in town can do.
But Fate can be cruel to the hearts of a young man in love, for as quickly as she entered my heart, she left it without a word, the last day we saw each other was our graduation day. We took pictures together and I kissed her goodbye until the following night where we would be attending a friend's graduation party. However, I spent the night at the gate to my friend's home, waiting patiently for her but she never arrived, and by the time school started again in September, her family left town and she was never seen again by any of my friends. She remains an enigma in my heart, literally the girl that got away, through no fault of my own.
In a way, Hayase and Naoto are an analog of that relationship, had it not ended as it did. That's why I love these characters, and hope that Nanashi-San does them justice for however long he writes their story.
The next Chapter of "Guess What, Senpai?" will arrive soon, this time, Sakura taking center stage. As always, please leave a comment or question and I will be happy to answer it in the next chapter.