I'm trapped. That's all he could think about. I'm going to die in here. Or worse. I never will, and I'll be stuck like this forever. Dean helplessly clawed against the splintering wood of the coffin. His fingertips were raw and bloody, but that didn't matter. He couldn't drown again.
"Please, Michael. I'll do anything. Just let me out of here. Kill me. Anything." His pleading was responded to by another gush of water entering the enclosed space. Tilting his chin in an effort to stay above, he all but sobbed, "Michael, dammit! I'm begging you. You can have this vessel as your own, just let me out."
"Dean…" a voice replied.
"Michael?" Dean's head spun with confusion. Whether it was from the shock of the icy water or the distance in the respondent's voice, he wasn't sure.
"Dean, you're free now," the voice said in the same far-off tone.
"No, Michael. I-I can't get out!" Dean flailed hopelessly against the walls. The water was up to his chin now. He was running out of air. "Michael, something's wrong. I'm still stuck." Up to his mouth now. "I'm still-" he gargled out before being fully submerged.
"Dean, wake up."
Dean shot up out of bed, still flailing his arms and legs wildly as if he was still trying to break down the coffin from his dream. He gagged and choked and coughed on nothing but the air that he wasn't accustomed to. A hand reached out, stopping his desperate motions.
"Dean, it's okay. You're alright." Dean looked to his side where the words came from, but he didn't need to. He knew that voice.
"Cas? What are you-"
"Apologies for intruding. I heard you screaming from my room and I thought I should come to check on you," Castiel explained. His brow was furrowed with something Dean assumed was concern.
"No, don't be sorry, man. I'm just a little out of it. Sorry." He chucked sheepishly. "So, where's Sam?" That's it, Dean, he thought. Change the subject.
"He and Eileen had to run out. Something about helping Jody with a case. I offered to stay with you while you slept." Dean tried to ignore the blood rushing to his cheeks at the heartfulness behind Castiel's words.
"You said you were in your room?" Cas nodded. "I was really screaming that loud, huh?"
"And crying." Dean visibly cringed. "I've never heard you cry like that before. It was-"
"Wimpy? Childish? Pathetic?" Dean suggested while internally scolding himself.
"I was going to say," Cas started, "that it was disturbing."
Dean blinked at him before, "disturbing? Why? You've seen humans cry hundreds of times. Our job literally makes people cry." Cas sighed and laid a gentle hand on Dean's knee.
"Because it was you, Dean. I hate seeing you like this. I hate what Michael has done to you and that I can't make it better. If I was at full capacity I could at least make the nightmares go away."
"It's alright, Cas." Dean looked into the angel's eyes and saw disbelief. "Really, I'm okay. These nightmares are nothing compared to the ones after I got back from Hell. Honestly, this whole experience seems like nothing compared to what I went through down there." Cas grimaced.
"I understand you are trying to make me feel better about being of no use. But I regret to inform you that it's not working."
Despite the dark mood of the situation, Dean couldn't help but snort at Castiel's bluntness. Shaking his head, he dropped his gaze to where Cas' hand was still resting on his knee. He fiddled with the hem of his shirt as he realized how close he was to Cas. He could smell the faint body wash- Vermont's Pine Body Wash to be precise- and another scent that could only be described as purely angelic.
"Dean?" Cas' voice startled him out of his daze.
"Cas?" His name escaped his lips like a prayer. Dean watched as Castiel swallowed, his adam's apple bobbing.
"Can I get you anything before I leave?" Dean's eyes snapped up from where he was still gazing at the angel's throat.
"You're leaving?" he squeaked out before having the urge to slap himself. Of course, he's leaving. Why would he stay?
"I figured you would want to attempt sleep again. I also assumed you would want to be alone." Dean dropped his gaze to the fray in his shirt once again, his insides pooling with shame.
Cas bent his head down so he was at eye level with Dean, and he could've sworn his heart soared with the way Castiel was looking at him. "Unless…" Cas trailed off.
Dean sat up a little straighter, now only inches away from the angel's lips. His angel's lips. "Unless what, Cas?" Castiel's eyes flashed with something Dean couldn't distinguish. Both of them were breathing hard now with anticipation.
"Dean, what do you want?"
Swallowing hard, Dean built up the courage and answered, "you."
That was all it took. Castiel grabbed the back of Dean's neck, firmly yet gently, and closed the distance between them. Their lips met in a fiery passion, and Dean didn't hesitate one bit to make sure Cas could feel how badly he wanted him.
All the years of dancing around each other and 'eye-fucking,' as Crowley would put it, were finally over. And they both knew there was no going back after this.
Cas sucked on Dean's lower lip in a practiced manner that Dean wasn't even sure he wanted to know how he learned. A noise that couldn't be explained as anything other than a whimper escaped Dean's mouth as Cas nibbled on his lower lip before breaking apart.
"Is this- is this okay?" Castiel panted out. When Dean didn't answer, Cas used his thumb to ever so gently lift his chin. "Are you alright? Am I moving too fast?"
"No, Cas." Dean shook his head. "I'm good. Better than I thought I would be." He offered Cas a real smile. A genuine one.
"Would you like to keep going or-" Dean cut him off with a ferocious kiss.
"There is no way in hell we are stopping. I don't think my body would agree." When Cas tilted his head in confusion, Dean placed his hand overtop his. "Feel, Cas." He glided his hand lower until it was hovering over his obvious arousal. Castiel's eyes widened and he pounced on Dean, rolling so his body was on top.
"Are you sure about this, Dean? We can't go back once it's done." The pure sincerity of his question took Dean by surprise. Here he was, having nightmares and crying out in his sleep like some pathetic excuse of a hunter, and a literal angel was looking at him like he was the most precious thing in the world.
"Why me, Cas?" he choked out before he could stop himself. Cas looked down at him while doing his signature head tilt, once again. "I just mean, you- you could have anyone Cas," he blurted. "You're an angel, and I don't just mean literally. Sure, you have amazing abilities and can travel anywhere in the blink of an eye. But you are so much more than that. You are the kindest person- or not person- I've ever known. You're selfless and beautiful and I love you for that."
"Dean," Cas whispered. "I love you too." Dean pulled back as the realization struck him. He just told another man he loved him. What would Dad think?
Sensing his self-loathing, Cas cupped Dean's cheek ever so tenderly. "Dean, I love you, but you're wrong."
"What do you mean?"
Castiel sighed before explaining. "You don't have to say it for me to figure out what you are getting at." Dean averted his eyes from Cas. He knows me too well. "You are depicting me as this amazing being to paint the picture that I am too good for you. But Dean, my love, you couldn't be more wrong." Castiel's words dripped with affection and love, and Dean's eyes began to water.
"You're wrong, Cas. I don't deserve-"
"No," Cas cut him off with a firm tone. "You're wrong. And if I must, I will spend the rest of eternity trying to prove it to you." Castiel softly trailed his finger over Dean's lips, a sad smile on his face. "Not everyone thinks as little of you as you do, Dean."
A single tear rolled down Dean's cheek and Cas gingerly kissed it away. He planted a line of kisses from where the tear track was still visible down to Dean's neck. He sucked and nibbled on the skin surrounding his collarbone.
"God, Cas," Dean groaned. "Where did you learn how to do that?" Cas smirked into his neck.
"I just let your moans guide me." Dean threw his head back as Cas continued his ministrations. "I've been dreaming about the day I would get to kiss you, just so." Cas moved to Dean's lips and kissed him open-mouthed.
"Yeah, what else have you been dreaming of doing to me?" Dean's pulse sped up and he wondered if Cas could feel it on his lips.
"Many, many things. I would love to show you," Cas answered.
"Yeah?" Dean said breathlessly.
Cas planted a final kiss on Dean's lips. "But not tonight. I would like to wait until we move forward. You have no doubt had a rough couple of weeks, and I don't want you to make any hasty decisions you will later regret."
Dean sighed at this, wondering how he got so lucky. "I love you, Cas."
"And I you, Dean." Castiel hesitated before saying, "I would like to hold you tonight if you would allow me to."
"Of course, Cas. I don't want you to go anywhere." Dean rolled onto his side, and Cas wrapped his arms around him from behind. "Promise you will stay?"
Cas kissed him on the cheek. "You have my word, Dean. There's no place I'd rather be."