Vader's Rainbow
By Lars Quell
Audiotape performed by Grand Admiral Thrawn
Darth Vader is a very important man. He is the second-in-command of the Galactic Empire, save for his majesty Emperor Palpatine.
Vader has a very important job. He works alongside many other important people. These include very good friends like Grand Moff Tarkin and Boba Fett in order to keep the galaxy safe for you and me.
You might be wondering about something important. What does Vader like to think about when he's in between assignments?
First Vader thinks about the color red. Red is the color of his lightsaber. Red is the primary color of his home planet, Mustafar. It is also the color of the low ground, the high ground is black. Try to complete the scavenger hunt of items in the picture of Fortress Vader. The place is pretty wizard, wouldn't you say?
I.) The protocol droid made from spare parts
II.) The lightsaber collection
III.) The bacta tank
IV.) The Starkiller DNA sample
V.) Geonosian ship designs
V.) Sebulba's jail cell
VI.) A dianoga in the trash compactor
VII.) The ship formerly known as Slave I
VIII.) A box of spare arms and legs
IX.) A Life Day greeting card from the Organa family
After that Vader thinks about the color orange. Orange is the color of a certain species' skin tones, like the togruta. Can you find a togruta named Ahsoka Tano at the end of this maze? Vader and his Inquisitor friends would really appreciate your help in finding her. If you get lost, try spinning. That's a good trick.
Although he mostly wears black, Vader's favorite color is yellow. Yellow is the color of his eyes underneath his mask. In his spare time, he likes to collect and fly ships that are yellow. When you finish reading this data-tape, feel free to return and color these ships in your favorite color. Now this is podracing!
This day in particular, there was a lot of green on his mind. Recently, Vader was invited to the Festival of Light on Emperor Palpatine's homeworld, Naboo. Emperor Palpatine was being very thoughtful when he invited his apprentice to come, don't you agree? The ship landed on a green field. The field is green, like the color of many plants. Can you unscramble these "green" words?
Teracn
Orot
Erte
Woelfl
Hnabr
They both got to have dinner after a guided tour of the royal palace, overseen by Queen Apailana herself. During the dinner, they talked a great deal about the color blue. In particular, about the unexpected rise of the blue shadow virus among the Naboo and Gungan peoples. Grand Moff Tarkin suggested social distancing children from compromised families as a way of keeping them safe from being poisoned by the things coming out of people's mouths. He's so considerate!
The blue shadow virus can be prevented by frequently washing your hands, keeping a minimum six-feet distance from people and wearing proper face covering when around other people. Vader practices all of these, especially the last one! When he saw an Imperial Officer not follow these guidelines, Vader made him blue in the face. Now, now, be careful not to choke on your aspirations! What do you think the Imperial Officer should say to Vader? Fill in the speech bubble below.
Vader sure had fun at the Festival of Lights. All of his favorite colors were up in the sky, for everyone to enjoy. Including indigo. But oh no! The mean Jedi Mace Windu didn't want anyone to have any fun. He told everyone this party is over and pulled out his indigo lightsaber. Then he tried to assassinate our beloved Emperor Palpatine once again! But Vader pulled out his lightsaber just in time and protected his friend once again.
After a hard fought battle, Vader had saved the Emperor. Sure, Mace Windu had escaped once more in a violet speeder. But the party had been saved and the display of strength and grace Vader had exhibited sure impressed the delegates from Mygeeto in attendance, who pledged their allegiance to the empire on the spot. Vader proudly accepted the Violet Medal for Valor from his Emperor on the spot, which Queen Apailana remarked suited him well given his violet tendencies.
Although he hadn't stuck around long enough to see one, Vader reflected on his flight home how he had in fact seen the equivalent of a rainbow throughout his entire day. And even if it wasn't all in one place, he was still able to appreciate all of the tiny beauties our galaxy has to offer. That is why this book was commissioned to begin with.
Through this data-tape, Vader hopes that he has taught you. He hopes that he has taught you all. You have been taught. Every single one of you. And he didn't just teach the children, but the women and the men too. They're like individual works of art, and he looks at them like they're works of art. Vader loves rainbows! And he loves you, too.
And remember, if you ever need help remembering the colors of the rainbow in the order they appear, use this fun mnemonic device Vader's good friend Grand Moff Tarkin invented! The acronym goes R.O.Y.G.B.I.V.:
Remember
Overthrowing
Your
Government
Begets
Imperial
Violence
Lars Quell, born 41 BBY on Coruscant was a former navigator on a spice freighter with his older brother and younger sister. However, ever since 19 BBY, he has been a proud member of the publishing company division of the Galactic Empire. He lives in the lake country of Naboo with his wife and son. In his view the beaches would be perfect if not for the sand.