A/N: Yep, I know, you GG readers don't see me for ages and then here I am, two days in a row!

This fic was written for and is dedicated to Cbird28 on the occasion of her birthday - I hope it's a good one, honey!

This story was actually Cbird28's idea. Off the back of one of my other fics (a Hart of Dixie story) she pitched it to me. What if Rory's fight with Jess post-Washington had reduced her to tears? How would he react and how would it change what happened next? Read on to find out...

Disclaimer: All recognisable characters from Gilmore Girls belong to Amy Sherman-Palladino and other folks who aren't me. Title of the story is a line of lyrics from the song Cryin' by Aerosmith which belongs to Steven Tyler, Joe Perry, Taylor Rhodes, and other folks who aren't me.

Your Love Is Sweet Misery

Rory wanted to be strong, she absolutely meant to hold it together, but when Jess was in her face, mad at her for not keeping contact when she went to Washington, blaming her for kissing him and bolting at Sookie's wedding, she just couldn't take it.

He had a point, that was the worst part. He was completely justified in every accusation, as well as in his choice to find some other girl to fill his time after Rory failed to follow through on that first moment they shared. She knew it and she hated how sad and angry and frustrated it made her. She hated that her eyes were hot and filling with tears. Rory was damned if she was going to let Jess see her cry, so she did the only thing she could do, she ran.

Of course, there was nothing to stop Jess chasing after her, Rory just didn't really expect him to. There she was, on the pavement outside Doosey's, all red eyes and burning cheeks, wishing she knew which way to turn, when suddenly she heard him say her name. Turning around fast, it was an instinct, she didn't even think it through. She saw the shock register on his face as he saw her tears and hated that too.

"Rory, I... I'm sorry," he told her, the whole thing coming out stammery and weird, not like Jess at all.

Immediately, Rory turned away, swiped at her eyes, tried desperately to think where she was going or what she was doing. Her mom was down the street, getting movies at the video store. She so did not want to see her either right now, because then she would have to explain. She just didn't know how, but staying and facing Jess, especially if he was going to be nice to her, Rory wasn't sure she could handle that any better.

"Rory, please, stop," he urged her when she moved to walk away, his hand gently reaching out to her arm. "Back there was... Look, I just didn't know what to think, okay? After everything that happened... I didn't mean to make you cry."

He meant it, she knew he did. She could tell from the way he said it, before she ever turned back around and saw the contrite look on his face. After all these months, the time they had spent together, as close as they had gotten, she would like to think she read Jess pretty well these days. When he said he was sorry, he meant it, she was sure. Mostly sure.

"You're really sorry?" she asked, having to swallow hard right after.

"Yes," he assured her.

Rory neither saw nor heard any hint of a lie. She heaved a sighed, wiping the last of her tears away with her sleeve. "Honestly? Me too," she confessed, hugging herself and feeling just about as awkward as she ever had in her life, though she made herself look at him when she continued. "I am sorry, Jess. It's just all such a mess."

There was a horrible silence then, Rory not knowing what else to tell him, how to untangle any of the knots they seemed to have tied themselves in of late. Clearly, Jess felt much the same, at least, that's what the hands in the pockets, looking at the ground stance seemed to imply.

It seemed so ridiculous that they could get along so well, be so close, like each other so much, and yet here they were, unable to speak a word, despite how well-read and articulate they both were.

Just when Rory found something she knew she should say, Jess seemed to have the same kind of revelation, the two of them going right over each other with their words.

"You know, I tried to write to you..."

"I mean, I wanted to call you..."

Their eyes met as their voices trailed away, the two of them clearly processing each other's confession at the same time. Rory saw something like hope cross Jess' face, the corner of his mouth lifting just a little. She imagined her own expression looked much the same.

So, he did want to talk to her this summer, and he wasn't exactly balking at the idea that she had wanted to write. Yes, hope was exactly what was passing between them. It just wasn't quite enough anymore.

Grabbing his hand, Rory looked left and right, then tugged on Jess' arm until he followed her into the mouth of the nearest alley. It was crazy, she knew it was, but she just couldn't help herself. The memory of Sookie's wedding shone bright in her memory as she pulled Jess to her and let her lips find his in another explosive kiss.

Of course, he kissed her back, just like last time, but this go around, he was the one to pull back first, surprising her so much she almost pitched forward into the opposite wall when he did so.

"Rory..." he said, shaking his head at her in the dim light, looking ready to be mad again, before the whole notion collapsed and he sighed in defeat instead. "Don't say anything again, right?" he checked, glancing out into the street.

"Just for now," she told him bravely, spurred on by the look he shot her way on hearing those words. "Just until we figure things out, right?"

"What do you mean?"

Jess was a smart guy, he ought to know what she meant, but Rory wasn't sure she would blame him for checking, in the circumstances.

"You're not serious about Shane, right?"

Jess scoffed at the question. "Even Shane isn't serious about Shane."

That made Rory smile more than it should, but she couldn't feel too bad, not now. "Okay," she said, nodding once. "So, I need to go have a talk with Dean."

"Are you serious?" Jess asked, wide-eyed with amazement.

Rory swallowed hard. "Are you?" she countered. "About me, I mean. About us being... well, being us?"

She dreaded the possible response to that question, feared it would be laughter, or perhaps even worse, ambivalence. If he did that to her now...

"I'm serious."

He meant it, he really did, though Rory suspected it might be the first time he ever made that kind of declaration to a girl, to anyone, about anything. It made her smile so wide, her still tear-stained face ached from it. Launching herself forward, she actually had him pinned to the wall as she kissed him one more time.

"I promise, I will call you later," she said as they parted.

"I promise I'll answer," he replied breathlessly, smiling at her like she was the greatest person in the world.

Rory smiled back, even though she knew it wasn't entirely true. From here, she had to go have a conversation that was going to be no fun for anybody, but she had to get through it. She should have done it months ago, but better late than never, or so she hoped.

"Go on," said Jess, giving her the lightest shove. "Go do what you have to do, and I'll go do what I have to do - which will obviously be faster - and then I'll be waiting for you when you're done."

"You really will, won't you?" she double-checked, just to be really sure.

"Hey, I waited this long already," he reminded her, gently pushing her hair back from her face. "A little longer won't kill me."

Leaning in, he stole one more kiss from her lips, before Rory made herself slip away, running from the alley in the direction of the Forester house. On the way, she would have to text her mom, change tonight's plans, and properly explain later. It would be worth it in the end, Rory knew, as she turned around and saw Jess leaning on the wall at the mouth of the alley, watching her walk away.

They both knew that this time would be different, because this time she would be coming back to him, only him. Even in the face of the pain she was about to cause, Rory couldn't help the smile that wanted to pull at her lips, because this was the right decision. From here on out, no more reasons to cry.

The End