Friday night at a bar, Hikigaya stood there worried, watching his (beloved) teacher tipple all the beer nonstop for hours now.

Initially, it was supposed to be a ramen outing (he won't even say the damn thing) invited by the latter and unfortunately, got flawlessly manipulated; seconded by his own sister.

"A date!? Onii-chan getting some bi-"

Hikigaya had effectively guarded his little sister from vicious attempts of manipulation of the elderly (or so he thought), but god said no every single time. Really based.

Returning to the situation now, crying is a no-no. He sighed.

"Are you fine? You drank quite a lot, Sensei." Hikigaya raised his concern while the woman did the same, except it was her brow.

"If you were me, could you be?" Hiratsuka-sensei questioned back.

"I'm already a mistake so I don't want an overlapping one-"

His smug face only lasted temporarily as Hiratsuka-sensei punched him in the gut with such brute force, eliciting a goofy choking fish-like face. He stumbled to the floor (head's first) with a smashing glass sound effect for dramatic purposes.

"Hikigaya, it doesn't mean you're my favorite student, you can go closer with me."

Hikigaya stood up and groaned. "Huh? How far, then?"

"Six feet. You're a dead person."

Again, he untriumphly fell back to the floor defeated as the teacher cutely giggled. If there were a proper stool, he would do the Shinji chair dip. Well, he'll do it anyway.

"Seriously, how can you still be sober right now? And why the hell the majority of the dialogue I have is questioning dialogues?"

Wow, he is back to normal. Plot armor.

"Want some?"

"Nope. That thing is only for old people and I'm not legally allowed yet."

Heaving a sigh, Hiratsuka-sensei faced his direction with a smirk. "You won't get me if you don't."

They both stayed silent. The expectations of him getting flustered were completely shattered as she realized she had said something bold, and it went wrong; now a complete blushing mess and flailing both arms.

"I-It's not-"

"Hey! Can I also get-"

"-Hiiiikkkiiigggaaayyaaaaa!!!!"

"She might be a little manly and gruff, but she is not a bad girl. Please take care of our Shizuka." Her mother bowed.

Both of them were surprised and blushed by the sudden action of Shizuka's mother.

"W-Well, you see, Hiratsuka- no. Shizuka is a very gentle person. Albeit with her that kind of side, she is still a wonderful woman to me, so please raise your head up." Hachiman reassured, in which the elderly were delighted by that.

"That's good. Now, please take your time, young couple. I'll call you again when dinner is ready."

The mother left after then, and the boy heaved out a relieved (terrified) sigh.

"I wanted to die."

"Nice, kid. You handled that well." Shizuka gave him a thumbs up as her eyes shone.

Hachiman gave her a very disheartened glance; hopeless even. "No, that's not it. It's about how everything went from 0 to a 100 real quick."

"That's fine. You did well." Shizuka gave the boy a pat and peck on the lips; being the reward, ignoring his critical concerns.

"You're a really laborious and kind student, but in my not-so-long life as a teacher, you are the only one who remains strong in my heart, Hachiman."

She smiled.

"Maybe saying that wasn't a bad idea."

...

"So, wanna have sex after this?" Putting an end to her euphoric significance, Hachiman suddenly spoke out of topic.

Regretfully, the reply is obviously the famous Iron Fist gut punch, backed with the cliche line.

"Not yet, you bastard!"