CHAPTER 13: THE END OF THE INVESTIGATION
Meanwhile, at the same time Weinmann was interviewing the first round of witnesses, Lisa Cuddy had to face her mother. Arlene had, in her usual manner, walked into the office, having learned everything concerning the accusations against House by Julia. And now she let her exasperation show clearly.
"Are you really out of your mind, Lisa?", the mother asked the daughter. "Good morning to you, too, mother", the Dean of Medicine quipped, adding, "If you excuse me now, I have to go and testify to help the authorities dissolve a fraudulent marriage". "Don't worry, I know exactly where you are going. First you dump him for no reason, then you chicken out and don't try to work it out with him and now you want to see him to jail and his wife deported. This doesn't look good for you", Arlene shot back. "I dump him for backsliding, then I swallow all his pathetic attempts to get on my nerves with his boyish antics and now I'm doing my duty as a citizen", Lisa retorted.
"Don't play tricks with me, Lisa. I came here, to your office, where I'd sworn not to step in again after my recent adventure. I can barely walk because you messed up with my hip replacement. But I am here, because I see you are screwing up again", Arlene banged her fist on the desk. "Really now? We saved your life back then and you have no right to get involved to mine own personal life. I've had enough trouble with Julia trying to set me up with one date after the other", was the daughter's answer to her mother. "Speaking of which, how did you manage to manipulate Jerry Barrett into ratting your ex to the police? Of course, Jerry is gullible enough, but...", Arlene replied sarcastically. "Is there any single decision of mine you don't disapprove of?", the Dean of Medicine asked, fixing her gaze upon her mother. "I didn't disapprove of your decision to start a relationship with House. I can barely put up with him, but I also barely put up with you. You had your chance to be with someone who wanted to make you happy, in fact someone who wanted you, to the point of obsession, and you still managed to terminate the relationship. I'm sorry to say so, but you're an idiot with impossible standards", the older lady chastized her daughter.
"If you finished your tirade, mom, I have to go to testify", Lisa said, rising from her seat. "Is this your way of trying to win him back? Or your way of trying to convince yourself you're right and he's wrong?", Arlene's question hit home. "I'm definitely not trying to win him back. And you can't prevent me from testifying. Besides, I'm the one speaking truth and he's the one lying", her daughter tried to deflect. "You can try to justify your actions, but you aren't convincing even yourself with those arguments", the older woman responded. "Gone are the days when you could talk me out of something so important, mom", the Dean of Medicine parried the thrust.
"But, I can. I'm calling one or two guys from the Board and informing them on the situation. Like or despise House, they can't afford to see the hospital's shining star defamed on such flimsy accusations. It's up to you to convince me not to make that call, however", said Arlene, leaving her daughter stunned, but no less determined. "Try as hard as you can, mom, House is going to jail and his plaything is getting deported. Now, if you excuse me, I gotta give my testimony", the Dean of Medicine picked up the gauntlet and strode out of her office.
And so it came to be that Lisa Cuddy and Jerry Barrett appeared out of Weinmann's office, ready to testify. Jerry walked first, immaculately dressed, confident and determined. "State your full name, please", Weinmann issued his request. "Jerry Barrett", he replied. "Mr. Barrett, we've invited you here to listen to your perspective concerning the circumstances surrounding the marriage of Dr. House to Dominika House, nee Petrova. From what I see here, you were the one that called Detective Tritter and informed him that the marriage under investigation is a fraudulent one. Right?", the INS investigator enquired.
"That's right. I did that because it's my duty as a citizen obeying the laws", Barrett answered. "How did it occur to you that the marriage we are talking about must be a sham? What is your own level of familiarity with one or both the spouses?", the official asked. "None at all. I'm not a personal acquaintance of either of the two", the other man replied in all honesty. "Then your information is secondhand at best, or based on mere hearsay. Could you elaborate more on how you obtained the information that prompted you to call Detective Tritter?", Weinmann proceeded. "The day before the arrest, two days before today, actually that evening, I was out on a date with Dr. Lisa Cuddy. During the date, I said something, I don't remember what exactly, and the name of Dr. House was mentioned. The mention of his name made Dr. Cuddy remark that she didn't want to hear any more of Dr. House and his 'green-card seeker of a wife', those were her precise words. Subsequently, Dr. Cuddy, obviously agitated, asked me to escort her to her home. During the journey, she asked me to communicate with the policeman who happened to be my friend- meaning Detective Tritter- and report the fraudulent marriage. I obliged her and... you know the rest", Barrett replied. "So, Mr. Barrett, basically your testimony is an admission that you don't have any firsthand information to contribute to the investigation and that you were acting on Dr. Cuddy's behalf until now. Is that an accurate summary, would you say?", Weinmann mused. "I haven't seen it from this angle, but, well, I'm afraid yes. Under those circumstances, I regret getting involved in this case without any sufficient knowledge concerning the people and circumstances involved", the other man responded, having evidently lost much of his former self-confidence. "Well, Mr. Barrett, I'm afraid I have no more questions of relevance to ask you. Thank you for your perspective", the official said, shaking Barret's hand.
It was about time for the last witness to testify. Lisa Cuddy entered the office, looking straight at Weinmann in the eyes, purposedly avoiding to cast a glance towards House and Dominika, still on the couch, still in total silence, or towards Tritter, chewing his Nicorette, pacing over the room, in much frustration. "State your full name, please", the official commenced the process. "Dr. Lisa Cuddy", the Dean of Medicine introduced herself.
"Dr. Cuddy, we've invited you here to listen to your perspective concerning the circumstances surrounding the marriage of Dr. House to Dominika House, nee Petrova. Or, to phrase it more accurately, we've invited you here to enquire over the reasons for your accusations that the marriage in question is a sham, with the intention of deceiving the authorities. Could you please enlighten us on those respects, Dr. Cuddy?", Weinmann asked. "Certainly. I would like to begin with the statement that, shortly before Dr. House came up with his scheme, we had broken up. For years, Dr. House was pursuing- and not in a proper, civilized manner- a relationship with me. At some point in time, I entered into such a relationship, on my own initiative. But, I saw that the man is beyond changing, so I broke up with him. He still refuses to move on and accept reality, which is the reason for his behaviour getting more and more outrageous day by day, culminating in the felony currently under investigation", she stated, as if she were a judge indicting the accused man.
"However, from what I see here, Dr. Cuddy, prior to your request to Mr. Barrett to call Detective Tritter and make the accusations, you'd taken no steps at all to prevent the marriage, although you could report them to us and we would call them for an interview. Did your suspicions arise only after the wedding?", Weinmann enquired. "I had guessed their game from the beginning", the Dean of Medicine replied.
"The papers I'm holding right now beg to differ, Dr. Cuddy. You yourself added her name to his health insurance. Given that her maiden name is written, this must have occurred before the wedding, but after the engagement. If you had any suspicion that they were about to commit a felony, why offer them even the tiniest aid? Doesn't this make you complicit?", asked the official, leaving Cuddy dumbfounded. "Dr. House requested that. Apparently, his... woman wanted some dental treatment before the wedding. I was reluctant to sign it, but Dr. House remarked I was covering Dr. Taub's wife for years", she replied. "So, he put his upcoming marriage on par with a perfectly legal marriage, valid for years. That doesn't look like a sham to me", Weinmann shot back. "They... They tried to bribe me!", Cuddy tried to find a new defensive line.
"That's news to me, Dr. Cuddy. Please, elaborate", the INS investigator observed and leaned slightly forward. "Immediately after my refusal to sign that paper, Dr. House said something in a foreign language I can't pretend to understand. It must be some sort of command, since after he finished the phrase his... woman walked in my office, carrying some kind of pastry. A bribe, to appeal to my sensibilities. On Dr. House's bidding, she also tried to repeat a motto about America being the land of freedom", she clarified. "A pastry? Seriously, Dr. Cuddy, a pastry can be counted as a bribe? I'm sorry to say so, but it looks more like a gesture of goodwill, rather than a bribe. Furthermore, since prior to the wedding, Mrs. House was employed as a pastry chef, it sounds perfectly logical on her side to give you something like that. And, was the pastry that changed your mind?", Weinmann responded.
"Of course not. I just decided to let him ruin himself. Enough time and energy I'd wasted in the past with him", Cuddy said, her voice betraying her irritation. "This sounds more like jealousy than suspecting a fraudulent marriage, if you ask me. But, anyway, let's say I accept your version of events that you had suspicions about them. Why force them out of the chapel they were planning to hold the ceremony?", the investigator asked his next question. "Because the chapel is to be used by people with real feelings of reverence for the Deity, not for shams", she replied. "Again, why not call us? Why just create a minor inconvenience, and attend the wedding regardless?", the investigator kept pummeling her with his questions. "I didn't want to attend, but I didn't want to give him the satisfaction of having beaten me in a game of wills", the Dean of Medicine answered. "Ergo, it wasn't the legality of the marriage that troubled you, but a game of wills between you and your ex. I'm sorry to say so, but the INS is not responsible for such affairs", Weinmann rebuffed her.
"I was present at the ceremony and I saw that Dr. House's smile was forced. The bride, as well, was looking at me with a strange look", Cuddy tried to maintain her position. "And is it strange for her to look in a strange manner at the one who forced them to change the location of the wedding? As for Dr. House's smile, all the other witnesses testified that they saw him genuinely pleased", the other man countered her. "You're taking their side now? You, the investigator responsible for making sure such transgressions get the due punishment dictated by law?", the Dean of Medicine practically shouted. "It's my job, Dr. Cuddy, to determine whether a marriage is fraudulent or not. All the evidence presented here by a multitude of witnesses have led me to the conclusion that there is nothing deceptive in this marriage and that two people have been accused and slandered for no reason", was Weinmann's reply.
"And what about my testimony? Do you reject it? Or the one of Jerry Barrett?", she retorted, clearly grasping at straws. "Mr. Barrett regretted hurling those accusations and your own testimony is full of contradictions, Dr. Cuddy. Unless you have anything of substance to contribute to the investigation, I would like to request that everybody leaves the room, except Dr. House and his wife", the investigator cut her off. Lisa Cuddy, furious, left the room. "This applies to you, as well, Detective Tritter", Weinmann clarified. The policeman did as bidden, muttering under his breath.
"Dr. and Mrs. House, after a full investigation, I have reached the conclusion that the accusations against you are completely invalid. I, therefore, declare that you are free to go wherever you want and that I will soon contact you personally when Mrs. House's papers arrive", Weinmann announced, adding, "You can go out now. The investigation is over".