Chapter Four: Body in Pieces and The Mother

He clicked his omnitool shut. His gray-blue eyes narrowed on the space where the message had been. It was a damned cold day in hell that he would miss the chance to finally close a chapter that had been unmistakably left open and raw. Doctor Saleon had been found. Going by Doctor Heart. No doubt a jab at the authorities that had failed to catch him during his spree of mangled corpses and disgusting experiments. A jab at him.

This time, he sought her out.

Garrus stopped short on the other side of the room, coming to land his gaze on the two human's huddled close in a darker corner of the mess hall. It was where Alenko spent most of his time going over plans and schedules and whatever else Lieutenants did on a human ship. Shepard's back was enough for him to know that this was one of those private moments that – though public – should not be disturbed. It was heavy in the air, and he could just make out their lowered voices as he cleared his throat.

Had he been in a normal mood, the two of them jumping the way they did would have been comical.

However, Garrus was on the prowl.

She looked over her shoulder before squaring them and saying goodbye to Kaidan with a "talk to you later, Kaidan." He responded softly, "Id like that." And she was walking towards him with open curiosity and a slight blush to her cheeks he had just enough brain power to register before grabbing her elbow and pulling her into the adjacent hall. It was quieter here, fewer ears and she didn't rip out of his grasp, but her brows pulled low when she looked form the grip to his gaze.

"Garrus?"

"Shepard," he refused to released her, as if keeping her there in his grasp was important for this moment. Anchoring him as he gritted out exactly what he was after, "I…I need to ask you a favor."

"Okay," she egged him to continue.

"A few years ago someone that I was investigating got away," he began and shook his head, "An organ dealer in the black markets by the name of Saleon, you don't know what it was to witness his crimes." He swallowed, his grip on her elbow tightening, "We had located a few of his workers and had them in for questioning, none of them said much, but this one in particular I noticed he was bleeding. So we got someone in to clean up what we thought was a cut during our arrest, turns out he was covered in open wounds and scars. As if he had been repeatedly cut. Saleon was using people as incubators for organs. He would take the good replicas, leave the rest. Dozens of people were killed by his hands, dozens more left to rot and even more so disfigured or medically inept." He growled low, "He got away, used a ship full of citizens to do it. I demanded that they shoot him out of the sky - the things he'd done, the people he had killed." Garrus grumbled at the thought before continuing, "But they refused, said they couldn't with all the civilians on board. I didn't understand their logic, a few dead to save the many he will undoubtably be responsible for if he got away." His mandibles flexed, his brow plates shifted, "My feelers have always been out there looking for him. And they got him." He felt a vicious pleasing note lift at the words and his heavy gaze disappeared into her's.

"He's on a ship called the MSV Fedele somewhere in the Kepler Verge."

Shepard said nothing, though he could see her grimace slightly and his expression softened, his grip loosened and he pulled his hand back with a slap to his own side. He felt bad. And distraught that he had caused that reaction in her. Though stoic she had been, it had not gone unnoticed.

"We are just hours from there," she said in a thoughtful way as her eyes unfocused and she seemed to lose herself in some thought far away. When she looked back to him, she asked, "Are you sure about this?"

"He goes by Dr. Heart now," his mandibles clicked in disgust, "Shepard, we have to go take him out."

Take him out. His mind roared with appreciation of the words. "Okay, Garrus," he heard her say and he almost keened in appreciation of her acceptance. "We'll go take a look and see if we can find the ship, if we do –" she didn't finish, "I'll let you know what we find out there."

He didn't say anything as she turned and left him in the darker corner, his mind reeling with the possibility that at least one of his demons may soon be put to rest.

It had been seven hours and eighteen minutes since his conversation with Shepard before the familiar slide of the elevator hit his ears. Her footsteps were easy to discern, and he quickly straightened from his crouched position near the Mako to look at her. She walked to him, ignoring the curious glances that the lower crew were giving her as she did so, coming to him and invading his personal space. She was already wearing her armor and reached out to grab his shoulder, her hand small but the strength behind it pulled his shoulder to her and she said starkly, "We are boarding his ship now."

It was all it took for him to follow her.

He grabbed his weapons from the locker that Williams had set up for him, albeit it was set apart from the humans and slightly more beat up, still he had actually appreciated the gesture. She was – not the friendliest to aliens – but it was clear that she was working out her issues.

Kaidan found them at the airlock. Garrus frowned at the decision to bring a third member but knew that it was just how Shepard operated. He didn't, however, think a human was the best choice. Not an L2 especially. With all the equipment Saleon would have around, it was a potential risk. "Alenko?" He rounded on her and asked, "Really?"

Kaiden bristled beside them, his brown gaze widened before narrowing in on him. "I've got your back, Vakarian." He used his last name in tandem with Garrus using his.

"Shepard," he ignored the Lieutenant, "His implant won't help here," and he was cut off by the steel gaze and disapproving brow that followed it. Anger. She was angry at him.

"That's enough," her words slapped him. A cold realization that he had overstepped some boundary he hadn't even known was there. He didn't care. Not now. Not when he was this close. However, he didn't question her choice in squad further. Instead, he glared right back at her.

She looked to Alenko, and he noticed the anger that boiled in the man's eyes as he glared at her. Tension positioned itself within the group and he wanted to snarl as he the airlock's system pressurized to the docked ship.

Making their way to the inner workings of the ship had been – annoying. There were too many victims. Thats what these mindless creatures were, he decided as they took them down one by one. The poor bastards. No one deserved to go like this. The beast in him roared. It was loud and its thume begged to be pleased. Demanded it. Each step brought him closer and his talons flex against the hardness of his gun. Careful, or he would break the weaker human machine he had decided to bring.

When the door open, there he was. All gray skin and wide eyes. The Salarian looked relieved, "Thank you, thank you for saving me from those …things."

"Commander, that's him," Garrus spat, coming to hover next to her side, "That's Doctor Saleon."

"What? My name is Heart, Doctor Heart, please, get me out of here…" the salarian begged.

"Are you sure its him," Shepard asked as she peered over her shoulder at him. He nods his head to her.

"Positive, there's not escape this time doctor," he stepped forward, his subvocals growling so loudly even Alenko looked at him with unease. "I'd harvest your organs first, but we don't have the time."

The doctor paled slightly, "You're crazy…" panicked he looked towards Shepard, "He's crazy! Please, don't let him do this to me."

Shepard glared hard at the salarian in front of her, disgust oozing out of every pore, and he was glad that she believed him and not the doctor before her, "We'll take him in, drop him off with the military."

"But we have him," Garrus snarled at her, "We can't let him get away – not again!" He took a step forward, but she sidestepped to cut him off.

"If he dies we'll never know what he's been up to or how he did it – we will take him in, interrogate him and he will serve his time," her small body seemed so large then, her eyes sharp and ordering him to stand down.

Garrus glared at those green orbs of power. "I've…" he tripped over his words and into her unyielding expression. "Okay," and he deflated. Anger and vile thoughts stripping from the forefront of his mind, and he breathed, "You're right…" He tore his gaze from her and looked at the salarian, "You are a very lucky salarian, you owe the Commander your life."

And it was in that moment the act dropped and the Doctor sneered, "Oh thank you so very much," Shepard turned her body away from Garrus, he in turn reached out to pull her behind him by simply stepping around her smaller form. The doctor pulled a gun and shot at them, the bullet bouncing off the top of his shoulder plate as he lifted his gun and shot at the retreating form. All three of them open fired and the doctor fell dead on the opposite side of the room. Biotic energy immitted around them and he glared at the heap before turning to look at the glowing blue of Alenko and the furrowed annoyance of the Commander, her pistol arm dropping slowly.

"And so, he dies anyway? What was the point of that?!" He growled at her, stepping dangerously in her direction. Shepard did not budge, but he noticed Alenko's body hum with energy. He looked him dead in the eye, he wasn't about to hurt the Commander, and it pissed him off to think that the man would think he would.

Shepard sighed, "You can't predict how people will act, Garrus." She stepped to him, there was no more room to step between them and she lifted her eyes to meet his angry gaze. She reached a tentative hand to grab his wrist. "But you can control how you'll respond. In the end," she squeezed his wrist, her hold was just as anchoring as his had been just hours before. It was important. This wrap of digits around his arm, "…that's what really matters."

His gaze bounced from one of her eyes to the other before he let out a slow sigh, "Yeah…" Their gazes held and he frowned against the myriad of thoughts that plagued him then. The contradicting influences of his life. The turian code, the brood demand, the human empathy, this squad's influence. He wanted to reach out and touch her, but his limbs didn't work, he said in a slight wonder, "I've never met anyone like you, Commander…"

And then she let go of his wrist and the heavy weave of – something – was snapped. He blinked and looked up to her and then to Alenko who was rubbing the back of his neck. Clear indicator of pain. He frowned, guilt bubbling to the surface of how he reacted to her chosen team. It had been an insult to the man, and he had not intended. He would have to remedy that soon. "Well, I think we're done here."

And he was. He didn't even spare the doctor a glance as they left the ship and returned to the Normandy.

When they left to land on Noveria, Garrus glared at the airlock. She had not chosen him or Alenko in this mission – having, instead, taken Liara and Williams. It was odd to be left behind. It was rare that she did. Normally, it was he and Alenko behind her. He turned his attention into the cockpit, his gaze settling in on the pilot that he had still not spoken to. Not directly, through comms yes, on missions to carry out orders or request assistance, yes.

He didn't figure it would hurt to say something to him.

Garrus stepped up onto the bridge for the first time and looked out the small windows that lined each wall. It was – breathtaking. This view. It seems like every single day he discovered something new about this ship. "You spend all your time up here?"

"Its my job," came the gritty response. Garrus looked to the back of the head and wondered if he had overstepped. Was he not allowed up here? "What brings you here, Vakarian?"

"Just…" he didn't really know why he was here. "Been a few weeks, figured I'd check and see if you really were the best pilot in the galaxy – I've heard rumors…"

To his credit the scoff that followed his words was both a dismissal of the compliment and an affirmation of the truth. "Rumors aren't shit; I am the best pilot there is. And you are welcome to bask in that."

Garrus grinned at that. "Call me, Garrus."

"Joker," the pilot responded.

He nodded and left, that was easy. And far too late to have taken place. He moved easy through the CIC and down into the mess hall. He was…anxious? Hungry? Worried? Worried was the correct emotion. He frowned at the thought as he made his way to the cabinets, this time there was food for him waiting there. He had wondered if Tali would use his rations, but it was hard for them to eat without removing their masks. So she had tubes of nutrient paste down below and he wondered briefly if it tasted as bad as he imagined.

Garrus was just sitting down when Kaidan came back into the room. He was obviously coming from the medbay and the turian followed his movements as he took a mouthful of food. Kaidan looked to him, brow raised. The two hadn't spoken in the week since docking on the Fedele and taking care of the salarian madman and he knew it was time to – human it up.

"Alenko," he motioned for the man to join him. He was pleased to note Kaidan would oblige the request and watched him as he moved into the kitchen and grabbed something to drink on his way to the table. After sinking into the chair opposite him, Garrus cleared his throat, "I didn't mean it." That was lame."I am always glad to have you at my six," Garrus said before taking another bite of food. His gaze steady on the human biotic.

Kaidan took a drink and nodded. "I know."

"I shouldn't have," Garrus placed his utensil on his plate. "That was information given to me in a confidential conversation with trust, Kaidan. She didn't mean for it to go any further than me." He wanted it to be clear that the blame was not on Shepard.

"Its not a secret," the man shrugged, "I am an L2, its in my file and that's public. It has to be known by everyone just in case…" he veered off.

"What can happen?" The turian asked curiously picking up his fork and fixing himself another bite. He truly had no idea how the biotics worked in a person. He understood the tech, but not the control. As he didn't have an ounce within him. Most Turians didn't.

"Anything really, one wrong charge and I can become completely useless. I could misfire, I could turn on you all. I could become paralyzed, head could explode – you name it, it can happen."

Garrus blinked. Dread for asking that question quickly setting into him. Why would anyway think it was safe for someone like that to be on a ship in the middle of such a mission then?

Alenko nodded, "But it won't happen."

"How do you know that?" He asked.

"Been working with the doc," he nudged his chin towards the medbay. "Lots of little minute tinkering have fixed a lot of the malfunctioning hardware. Doesn't take the headaches away," he continued, "But the hazards are gone. I'm just a normal biotic who gets punished for being so good."

It was an attempt at humor, Garrus didn't laugh. "Couldn't you just remove it?"

"A lot simpler said than done. Its…." He trailed off, "Its all apart of me now. My body wouldn't know how to react if it were to be removed. Upgraded? Maybe: is the better option."

"Why haven't you gotten it upgraded?"

Kaidan looked him dead in the eyes and he could see in that moment that the choice was his. There was a story there, one that shouldn't be asked about, one that he definitely should ask about.

"Tell me," Garrus ordered and took another bite, he was nearly finished. Alenko nodded. He really was a soldier.

"Brain camp," he paused to explain the true title of the camp he had been raised in, "Had not been pleasant. Lots of abuse going on, lots of testing. We were the first real group of human biotics to enter the program. It was led by a Turian," he looked at him and shrugged on shoulder. "Mean son of a bitch. Used to say he was the one that killed our father in the First Contact War," Kaidan chuckled darkly, "He didn't like it when I told him my father was still alive on Earth. Got my ass handed to me that day." He took a sip, "Anyway – few years go by and there's a girl there. She's….not really my girlfriend, but we were on that line, you know?" Kaidan paused and sat back in his seat. Garrus actually didn't know. He had never really put a lot of stock into actual relationships. Turians didn't 'date'. They mated. They bonded. They arranged.

"He broke her arm."

"Why?" Garrus' brow plates pulled down. The children were barely above whelp age.

"She reached for water instead of pulling it to her with her biotics."

Garrus blanched at the admission but didn't speak. He waited patiently for the man to continue.

"I…reacted badly," Alenko stated, "Her cry out caused me to kick him. But I was nimble, trained to be so and I used my full strength of biotic power in that kick. The man was dead before he hit the ground."

Garrus was surprised, but not offended by the admission. "I'm surprised you can be in the presence of my kind," he would tell him.

Kaidan looked at him puzzled. "Why? That wasn't you who did that. That was one man. One Turian. If I based my opinion of your people on the soul actions of one of your kind – I would be making a grave error. I was pissed, I was angry – hurt…. yeah, but it was just him. He hurt Rhea and I hurt him."

A newfound respect bloomed in Garrus for this man. His logic was sound. It made sense. It turned his mind in and out as he finished his plate and thought on it. When he placed his fork down, he asked, "Rhea, what happened to her?"

A long drawn out and broken sigh came from Kaidan. "She never spoke to me again, I …. I think I scared her." He shook his head, "Before this mission I had seriously considered it – to have the upgrade. Now though…" Kaidan turned his gaze away and looked off into space as human's tended to do. Shepard did it. He wondered briefly if they were a little like the Drell with an ability to see things he could not. "I have a lot of power, Garrus and it does…does feel like I need to keep it at bay. I don't fix the implant, because the L2 won't let it get out of control. Won't let me…. hurt anyone on accident."

"Shepard." Garrus said frankly.

Kaidan looked at him slowly, brown eyes settling in on his blue, as a breathy little chuckle fell from his lips, "Yeah…"

The Turian nodded once and stood, he was suddenly done with this conversation. Not so much for any reason other than it was too personal. To close to something familiar he wanted but never had. Family? Friend? He frowned as he washed his plate, aware that Kaidan was still sitting behind him. His mandible clicked and he thought of Shepard and her admission to him a few weeks ago.

"It hurts her," he finally decided to tell him. Drying his plate and returning it to the stack. "Taking you with us on missions."

Alenko stiffened.

"Every migraine you have affects her," Garrus said roughly. "You, holding yourself back out of fear, its…not the right call when it comes to this situation." Her. Garrus meant her. "You ugh..." he stepped back over towards the table but didn't return to his seat. "You're a good soldier, Kaidan, a better man – don't be afraid to be strong for her. You'll figure it out – migraines being gone is just a bonus."

And then he left.
Quick with a suffocatingly need to escape.

She had freed a Rachni Queen.

The report flickered on the datapad, the captured images of the monster causing his spine to tinge in a disgust he had never really felt before. There was something incredibly creepy about the large buglike creature that had used a dead asari to speak. He couldnt hear what was being said, but the way it loomed close to Shepard in the clip with its long spider-like legs and eight eyes and...pinchers...he had actually been upset that she had chosen Williams and Liara, now though - he was thankful she had. He shuddered.

Garrus had not believed it when he heard the news. However, there it was in the reports again He read them over, skipping the images and short videos. Right next to the fact that Liara's mother was dead.

Matriarch Benezia had been who they had come to speak to. She was, had been, Saren's right hand. A powerful biotic, a staple of her people - and a traitor to them. Just like Saren. A perfect duo. Still, it didn't make sense. She apparently had come to oversee issues with the indoctrination of species that Saren wanted in his war.

Indocrination. The brainwashing and mind control that Saren seemed to be spreading slowly throughout the galaxy. However, according to the report, the Matriarch has assisted them greatly with a location that housed an army for Saren. In a moment of clarity, Shepard had used the words "clawed her way to herself", Benezia broke through her own indoctrination to tell them about Saren and his next plan. It was only then that they realized that Saren wasn't the leader of this entire thing. It was Sovereign. The ship that Saren was using. Or so they all had believed it was a ship. To her credit, Benezia had fought hard against the power of Sovereign, now a known Reaper, and told Shepard and Liara as much as she could before she returned to trying to kill them both.

In the end, Liara and Shepard killed her.

There really had been very little notes in the reports about it. Neither Liara nor Shepard nor Williams spoke on the matter. Liara had disappeared to engineering, finding comfort in the empty spaces below deck and the crew respected her need for privacy, even so far as blocked it off so no one dared try. Williams busied herself with cleaning rifles and updating mods. Her shoulders were hunched, back rigid and every so often when he wasn't making noise while he was fixing the alignment on the Mako – he heard a sniffle. He knew she was crying. He looked at Wrex who always tended to hang close to the weapons and found him staring at Williams in curious wonder.

Did Krogan cry?

He supposed they did in their own way. As he watched Wrex watch Williams, he decided then that yes, Krogan did.

Garrus had not spoken to Shepard since…well since he betrayed her trust. He had to call it like it was. Even if it was just him thinking it to himself. Though Kaidan had forgiven him, she had yet to even make her way to speak to him about anything. Nothing mission related, nothing personal, not even acknowledging him as she passed. It was both annoying and deserving.

As the night progressed and the cargo bay emptied, Garrus stook straight from his hunched position and cracked the plates of his back. There was a low hum of the empty space that rested on his ears before he felt someone's presence. He looked over quickly with an acute reaction and found Shepard standing there, her arms holding herself tightly as the green gaze looked widely at him. They didn't speak. He watched her walk to him; her body clad in loose pants and a white tank top that was as military as it got. Her fringe was down, and he wanted to feel it. He had never felt human fringe...no no...human hair, other than the brief time he had rubbed the tension out of the back of her neck. He frowned at her as she approached. Even still as she walked past him and opened the door to the Mako.

He refused to move, to speak as he watched her. Finally, she said softly, "Want to sit?"

Garrus' legs moved before his mind processed the invitation. He waited for her to climb further into the cab and then followed, clicking the door shut behind him and sitting on one of the back passenger seats. She was sitting with her legs crossed beneath her on the floor, hands loose in the space provided there, elbows to thighs as she relaxed.

What was he supposed to do? What was the protocol here?

The silence, though unfamiliar and heavy, was not unwelcomed and so he decided to just sit in it. He leaned his back against the wall and sighed at the comfort he found. In this clunky piece of metal.

"My mother was killed," she said finally. Breaking the silence and he didn't look at her so she continued. "Back on Mindoir, father and brother too. Sister," she sighed and shook her head, "I try not to think about them or it or…" her voice faltered, and she sighed. "I lost my family by someone else's hands, and I hated them for it." She sneered, anger lacing her words. "I wanted to pay them all back, to destroy every single four eyed piece of shit I came across, God – Garrus that need, that lust it….it nearly consumed me."

He finally looked at her, but she wasn't looking at him. Her head was downcast, her eyes locked on her own hands.

"I killed Liara's mother today," she said in an air of fact.

Garrus frowned at the confession.

"All I can think is how much she must hate me," she whispered and then finally looked to him. "How do you look someone in the eye – knowing you took something like that away?"

The question was given. It was loaded and demanding, and his mandibles clicked a few times as he processed all he knew. It was limited, but it was enough for him to find logic in this. Logic. "The Matriarch was gone before she died," he would say to her gently, "Saren's control, no…Sovereign's control had taken her away from this a long time ago."

She shook her head, "She came back to help us…I just…"

"She saw her daughter in front of her and clawed her way through it. Like you said. But it was a losing battle, sometimes – the battle is already lost before its even undertaken. The war though….it drags on. It tries to break us with every altercation. Every decision, every outcome." He spoke soft, but there was a hard acceptance in his tone that radiated throughout the small cabin. Encouraging her to understand.

Shepard took a shaky inhale of a breath, "It's only been a few months and I already feel like I can't win this."

Garrus nodded, "Just means it matters more that we do," he said reaching out to grab her hand from her lap. It was a long reach, a purposeful one. He squeezed the palm of it and made her look at him. "Which we will – Shepard – " he confirmed. "We will win."

They stayed in the Mako until the early hours of the morning. She had yawned for the hundredth time before finally admitted that she needed to get shut eye. They had talked about a lot of things. Her childhood, his childhood – a few memories of her time with the slavers before she had turned on them and…he shuddered at the thought of such a young woman having to…why she had admitted any of that part of her life to him he never would understand but he would cherish the trust she gave him. He had apologized for Kaidan, and she had laughed it off and thanked him because they had fought, and it was the final fight that caused him to finally kiss her.

Garrus didn't really know the importance of that, but he liked how it made her sigh and smile content in the memory of it. There was a slight pang of something unknown though, but not insistent and not worth dissecting.

She now knew about his mother and her illness, his sister, and his father. She knew about some years of his service, his medals (as they compared and found themselves almost on equal footing). He even spoke about his prejudices and how he was raised, and she did as well.

Shepard knew that he was not well liked in the Turian hierarchy. He wasn't a good Turian, asked too many questions and demanded too many answers. A good turian hears a bad command and follows it regardless. Garrus could never bring himself to be that kind of man. She quipped something snarky and he had pinched her side finding that she was ticklish. It…pleased him to know that she was and so he had done it again only to hear the little giggle that escaped the stoic Commander.

There were other details spoken into the night. Intimate and fearful. Most regarding a future that seemed unsure and bleak and heavy with something more – something dangerous. He admitted to the same feeling. There was just something in this entire mission that didn't sit well with 'routine'. When she started talking about Kaidan, Garrus found himself thankful that there was someone there that Shepard found comfort in. He didn't know how much comfort and it wasnt his place to ask and he never would, but he was happy for it none-the-less.

When she asked him about his own 'love-life' as she called it. He laughed it off and denied it existed. Because it didn't. Not right now. Never really, there had been one-offs, a few fond memories in his military days that he refused to mention to her. He kept that all locked away and private. It was not like Turian to speak so candidly, and he was grateful that she didn't pry.

With her gone up to her own cabin, leaving him down in the Mako with the dawn approaching he felt calmer than he had ever felt before.

It was an odd sensation. A bit confusing, but as he road this wave of pleasant void, he figured he'd not question it just yet…and just accept it.