Chapter Five: This One Decision
How exactly did they get here? Garrus' mind reeled as his body was tight, arms raised holding his gun trained on his squad mate. Wrex was flexed, body rigid and head down ready to charge. The old Krogan was glaring dangerously at the small woman in front of him. The atmosphere around him tasted of danger. His finger on his trigger he feared -yes feared – that he would have to pull. Wrex had become more…
More something. More important to Garrus that he ever thought a Krogan could become.
Since Noveria, mission after mission – all small, all leading had brought them here to Virmire. The three of them, Shepard, Wrex and himself had just mowed down a long path of Geth from their drop zone to this base of operation. Wrex was a part of their team. A part of his team. A part of her's.
He had been busy talking to Commander Rentola about something or another, he didn't remember, he had heard the mumbled voices around him and the soft gasp from Tali who was rummaging through their limited arms before she gripped his arm and pulled him back out onto the sand. What had happened? He didn't understand. Too little information and not enough reason to be standing here – rifle trained on the large beast of a man he had come to call friend.
"What's going on?" He asked Tali and she shook her head. This was the last time he would be unaware of the situation. Garrus should have been beside Shepard; he should have been within arm's reach. Why did he have to walk away from her to try and find something out of nothing. He growled low in his throat – unable to hear any of the words the two were saying, but he noticed Shepard didn't move.
Not even a strand of hair seemed to shift as she spoke to Wrex.
He wondered briefly if she was scared.
If it was an inability to move rather than a decision, but as he saw her reach her little hand up and place it on Wrex's large upper arm, he realized that Shepard wasn't scared. Not right now. Not in the moment. Perhaps later – when she was alone or when she came down to talk to him at the Mako like she had started to make a habit of more and more often since Noveria, but right now – she was fierce and determined and…calm.
That calm – finally – finally – reflected in the shoulders of the Krogan that had been seconds away from killing Shepard. He had had no doubt, even with the three guns trained on the large man, he would have had enough time to break her body in half had he followed through with his Krogan instincts versus listening to her and using his head.
Garrus realized that just as he was not a very good Turian, Wrex was not a very good Krogan.
And he was thankful for it.
He watched as she nodded and left Wrex, his blue eyes shifting to her form before looking back to Wrex. The anger was still there, but there was something akin to uncertainty shifting in the man's eyes. His features softened just slightly as he looked to the base and then his brow pulled low and he slammed his fists together in the common rally of his Krogan brood. Whatever thought he had just had, whatever vulnerability that had tried to surface was immediately pushed deep down and Garrus was taken aback by the word. Vulnerability. In a Krogan.
There were moments of teaching and moments to be taught.
This entire mission, with the ragtag crew of misfits had been a lesson to learn.
Too many of his brood teachings had been proven false. Too many prejudice stereotypes had been laid bare and dissected. He would have to think more on it later. If there were a later.
They had been sent to Virmire, information from Liara's mother had brought them here. Saren was breeding an army for Sovereign. Krogan. The Salarian Special Task Force had been sent here on an investigation assignment and ended up getting stranded. It was odd to him. He had never thought that the Lizard people would have a military. The majority of them were thinkers. Scientists, doctors. Calling them Lizard people was harsh, they were amphibian with two large eyes far on their heads, two horns that caused their heads to have a elongated appearance. The horns were never the same on any of them and truthfully they didnt look like horns at all, distinguishable trait. Their long thin mouths always moved fast and they spoke with clipped voices.
A Salarian military unit. Perfect espionage. Who would ever assume one of their kind was there to kill? He thought as he looked towards the group of people standing at the tent where the commanding Salarian Officer Captain Kirrahe was perched. He and Tali stood behind the larger group, listening to the words that the Captain said. Garrus could appreciate the boost in moral, the 'hold the line' was powerful in its sentiment, but he couldn't take his eyes off the three humans standing just to the left of the man. Shepard's brows were pulled tight, Alenko seemed stiff, but determined and Williams seemed unsure. He cursed himself again for not knowing. He should have been with her.
When the group dispersed, he immediate found them. They were speaking intimately with one another in that friendly way humans did. When he noticed Williams salute her and then turn to leave, he frowned and watched as she bounded off towards the Salarians.
"Where is she going?" He asked as he came to stand beside Shepard.
"Kirrahe needs the back up," Shepard explained and sent a small glance Williams way.
"That's suicide," Garrus bit, knowing full and well that they all knew it. Kirrahe's plan was simple – his team were cannon fodder for Shepard and her own to get it done.
Kaidan's frown was well placed as he bit out, "Williams knows. And it's not…it's not suicide, it's the only way."
"It doesn't matter," Shepard cut them both off, "Alenko is the only one that knows how to work the Alliance bomb we picked up on our way here."
What?
"I thought this was the Salarian's plan?"
Shepard looked to him, "We already knew the place would need to go, Garrus."
Sometimes the humans surprised him. Often times – not sometimes.
"Your species is scary." He would tell her with a small grin in her direction, pleased to see the slight humor find her features before she shrugged.
"Alenko, gear up – Garrus," she turned her eyes to him, and he could see her trying to figure out if he should accompany them or not. He glared at her, anger setting inside him for some reason because she had no right to decide this. Did she? He frowned as the anger shifted to confusion on his own part.
"Do you want to be on my six?"
"I got your back, Commander."
He may have imagined it, but those words seemed to bring a small smile to her lips and a light in her eyes, but she turned away too quickly, and he was left with the empty space as she quickly departed.
The fight was bigger and more dangerous than any of the other's he had been a part of since his joining of this mission. There were hundreds of enemies and a timeframe that made it even worse. The three of them had made their way around the backside of the base, taking out any Geth that came their way – he wondered idly if perhaps bringing Tali instead of him would have been a smarter move. Tactically.
As he shot down two of the flying drones they had found on a hidden platform, just as the two Krogans rounded on them, he decided most definitely not. Alenko's blue biotics flared beside him and he watched as two more drones seemed to be hugged by it only to be slammed into each other and explode. The explosion caused the large canister below them to ripple and follow with an explosion of its own – effectively eliminating the remaining four hovering drones and the two Krogan. He eyed the man to he right and let out a click of approval.
"Impressive," Garrus would say as the three of them fell back into formation and stalked back towards the building.
"Thanks," Kaidan's husk of a voice came into his comm, and he could almost hear the smugness of it. Shepard crouched low and they followed, eyeing the compound from behind the safety of cover.
Three units stood between them and their entry point. Each of them targeted their own, one – two – three and they all crumpled in their spot. Shepard's small laugh entered into his awareness, and he grinned as they followed her to the door.
"Get this door open," she barked, and he followed through with the command immediately. It was a sad day when the turian of the squad was the technical party. He knew enough though, had learned a lot from his long talks with Tali on their many nights of downtime and boredom. With quick and agile skill he hacked the lock and got them inside.
It smelt like death.
There was no other word for it. Sterile and …dead.
Shepard made a noise that sounded undoubtedly like a gag and Alenko's breathing came out more of a shudder. None of them spoke as they stalked through the halls. One room after another trying to find their way through to the core of the facility.
When they stumbled upon another beacon, Garrus was in awe. The power that immitted from it was something he had never felt before. It was - dark and beautiful and dangerous. When it activated and he saw Shepard's body tense, shoulders slamming back, head tilting upward – eyes wide and mouth open in a silent scream, Garrus went to run to grab her. Kaidan caught him, having to use his entire body to stop the charging Turian. "Don't touch her!" He said terrified, "It's too dangerous – it could hurt her."
An hour? A second? A minute – in rising fear he watched the woman before she fell hard onto her knees and down onto her hands, gasping for air. Only then did Kaidan release him and the two of them sprinted to her side. She allowed them to help them and they all three shifted backwards when the bright red hologram of the ship known as Sovereign appeared. It spoke, but the words were in a language that he couldn't understand. His brain felt as if he did know them, but the words died just on the cusp of clarification. Shepard, however, stood tall and spoke – asking questions and demanding answers. By the end of the exchange, he understood what was being said between the both of them. His mind was heavy, hot almost as if someone was in there putting wires together that never should be tied.
They didn't speak when it disappeared. She looked to them both, "Move out."
They moved quickly, taking down whoever they found. It was in the labs that they found the reason for the stench. Rows and rows of cages. Holding cells? No – coffins – lined the walls. They saw living creatures in them, some they could make out, most….too far gone to even be allowed to live.
"Spirits," he heard himself say as they left the room and entered a smaller room, he eyed one of the containers and saw one of the Salarian's task group soldiers. He was huddled against the far side of the wall, Shepard called to him, but he didn't respond. She tapped on the glass – nothing.
"He…." A weak group came from their left and all three of them moved to find it, "He won't answer…" It was another Salarian, another soldier, like they were, "The …whispers…" he gasped, and he watched as he grabbed his head.
"Shepard," Kaidan said and motioned towards a release button on the side of the room. She almost immediately went for it, but then hesitated and looked to the Salarian. "What are they doing to you?"
"Kill...must kill…" and with growing horror he watched the Salarian begin to slam himself against the glass in an attempt to get to the three of them. His face shifted and broke at the effort. Green blood pooling at the broken bones and oozing onto the glass. Garrus reached out and pulled Shepard away.
Her eyes had grown wide in horror, skin pale in terror.
"Come on," he grunted and forced the two humans out of the room. "Come on," he repeated and slammed the door shut behind them.
"What are they doing here?" Kaidan was the first to question – "Breeding ground for Krogan is one thing…but that…that's not…"
Shepard sneered, "I don't know, but it's time we get that bomb set."
He couldn't agree more.
Fifteen minutes later and he found himself standing in water, his eyes glaring at the liquid as he heard Shepard reach out to Joker. He didn't pay attention to what the comedic pilot said, they were too exposed in this opening. Too easily out numbered. There were too many points of cover that the three of them couldn't map out. When the Normandy hovered inward, there was an understanding that fluttered into his mind as to why she had chosen this place, he hadn't realized that the actual ship would need room to bring in the bomb. And there it was, being carried by Alenko and three of the lower crew members he had just had breakfast with this morning. All clad in armor he wasn't used to seeing them in.
When they placed it, he heard it. His gray-blue eyes lifting just in time to see Saren fly in on something akin to a hover plate. His weapon raised, Garrus pushed Shepard to the left quickly as the bullet came down. He snarled as the two of them righted themselves.
"Get out of here," Shepard ordered the crew, and they followed her order quickly, Joker spoke, he didn't hear it as the Normandy got out of dodge. Thankfully, he thought, the old girl shouldn't see this.
Garrus lifted his gun and aimed it at Saren, the Spectre glared downward at them, glowing eyes menacing as he shot orbs of power towards them. Shepard dodged, Garrus rolled and both of them found cover. He looked towards Kaidan who was crawling towards the bomb, it seemed like he had been hit. Worry filled him. Not now. Not now.
Shepard's lone three shots were heard and he turned his attention away from the Lieutenant towards Shepard who was once again finding cover. Shifting just so he was able to see that Saren was now standing on the ground, biotic barrier cast in front of him like a shield.
"This has been an impressive diversion, Shepard," the voice of Saren found its way into the tense arena. "My geth were utterly convinced that the Salarians were the real threat, of course it was all for nothing," he quipped in the dark and deep tone that belong solely to the traitor, "I can't let you disrupt what I've accomplished here and you can't…possibly...understand what's really at stake."
"Why are you doing this?" Her voice was clear, calm – powerful behind the stone she was shielded by.
"You've seen the vision from the beacon, Shepard," Saren would answer, "You of all people should understand what the Reapers are capable of. They cannot be stopped. Do not mire yourself with pointless revolt. Do not sacrifice everything for the sake of petty fears. The Protheans tried to fight and they were utterly destroyed. Trillions dead, but what if they had bowed before the invaders?" Saren shifted and paced, Garrus frowned at the man. It was as if he needed Shepard to understand him, he was pulsing with indignation, with something… "Would the Protheans still exist? Is submission not preferable to extinction?"
"Do you really believe the Reapers will let us live?" Shepard asked.
"Now you see why I never came forward with this to the council. We organics are driven by emotion instead of logic. We fight even when we know we cannot win. But if we work with the Reapers, if we make ourselves useful – think at how many lives could be spared!" He nodded and continued, "Once I understood this, I joined Sovereign. I was aware of the dangers – I – had hoped this facility could protect me…"
"You're afraid Sovereign is influencing you – you're afraid he is controlling your thoughts…"
"I've studied the effects of indoctrination. The more control Sovereign excerpts the less capable the subject becomes. That is my saving grace. Sovereign needs me to find the Conduit. My mind is still my own for now – but the transformation from ally to servant can be subtle….I will not let it happen to me." Saren almost believed himself in that, Garrus felt pity creep into his subconscious before he slashed it down.
"Why are the Geth following Sovereign?" She asked.
"They believe Sovereign to be some kind of God – the pinnacle of their own evolution, but the Reapers find the deity of theirs most telling. It is insulted. Sovereign does not desire the pitiful devotions the Geth hurl at it – they are just tools and no amount of belief on their part will change that. But as tools, they are useful and they will survive the coming invasion. If organic life wants to survive, we must also prove our usefulness." He stated, "We must."
"Tell me why Sovereign needs to the Conduit – tell me what it is, maybe we can find a way to stop them!" She was reaching for something – she needed information and she needed more time. Garrus knew this conversation was dangerous. Too lengthy. Too wrong. Somewhere someone was dying and every moment stretched here was a life lost there.
"The conduit is the tool to your destruction and my salvation – Sovereign needs my help to find it..thats…the only reason I have not been indoctrinated." Saren answered.
Shepard's voice was harsh, angry, "Sovereigns been manipulating you and you don't even know it! Youre already under its power!"
The change in Saren was immediate. Anger and ….fear…bubbled upward within him and his body began to glow as he argued, "No, Sovereign needs me! If I find the Conduit, Ive been promised a reprieve from the coming invasion. This is my only hope."
"Together we can stop, Sovereign – we don't have to submit to the Reapers, we can beat them!" Her voice was razor sharp and cutting through the tension with finite belief.
"I…no longer…believe that, Shepard." Saren said in defeat – " The visions cannot be denied. The Reapers are too powerful, the only hope now is to join with them! Sovereing is a machine, it thinks like a machine and if I can prove my value then I become a resource worth maintaining. There is no other logical conclusion."
"You were a Spectre," she bit out, "You were sworn to defend the galaxy and you broke that vow to save yourself!"
"I'm not doing this for myself," He stammered back in response, "Don't you see? Sovereign will succeed. Its inevitable. My way is the only way any of us will survive. Im forging an alliance between us and the Reapers. Between organics and machines. And in doing so I will have saved more lives than ever existed. But you would undo my work –" his voice dropped low and dangerous again, Garrus' attention narrowed in on the man, he was…changing, somehow, he really was under Sovereign's control. "You would doom our entire civilization to complete annihilation. And for that…." He squared and Garrus saw him shift into a fighting stance, no longer communication, no longer lucid. "You must die."
Immediately Saren flared a warp towards Shepard, it hit the container she was crouched behind and it exploded. She was in the open and Garrus shifted to take a firing shot towards Saren. Two against one – no two against a Reaper's arm. He was strong, fast, and as Garrus rolled to avoid a killing blow he realized that this too was just a waste of time. Shepard, to her credit, was a force of nature. He had always known it, but as the two of them fought Saren he could feel it in his core now. He trusted every move she made and he shifted around her in battle as if they were dancing an ancient rhythmic something of…something. He grunted as he saw her narrowly miss another shot.
Garrus had been watching her, and had not seen orb of purple hate shifting the air and directly towards him, he did see, however, the blue wall come up and he turned his attention from Shepard just in time to see the purple clash mere inches from his face against the barrier. Looking back over his shoulder, Alenko was on his knees – both arms outstretched and he was using his biotics as protection for both Shepard and for Garrus.
Three against one.
When he looked back at Shepard, Saren's hand was around her throat. Fierce rage and protective instincts flared through him as he stood at his full height and roard at the pair. Saren looked his way with surprise and then he watched as Shepard reared her fist back and slammed it right into Saren's face. He dropped her and she rolled away from him quickly.
The tables turned now as none of Saren's attacked reached them. Alenko's barriers were strong and he pushed them back and back and back closer and closer to the rogue Spectre until finally, a demonic growl snarled its way through his mandibles and he retreated.
The anguished and pained cry that followed the drop of the barriers tugged at Garrus' heart. He looked to Shepard first, who pulled herself upright and onto her feet before they both turned and made their way back to Kaidan. Blood came from his ears and nose, his lips coated with it.
"Kaidan," her voice came out a soft whisper of pain and worry and….
Williams' voice broke through, "God damn it! Get the bomb planted now – were getting slaughtered out here."
Kaidan pushed Shepards hand away and bit out, "Go get them! I need a few minutes to set this bomb anyway," he got to his knees and crawled forward to start.
Garrus wanted to pull the man up and stand him on his feet, he wanted to fix this. He looked….bad.
"Go, Commander," Kaidan's voice was set, and Shepard nodded, turning to look at Garrus and motioned for him to follow her. They left Kaidan in the water to finish the job – their bodies tensing as another battle was before them. Williams.
The had just reached a clearing when Williams' voice came over the radio, "Be aware an enemy ship is heading your way!."
"They're already here!" Came Kaidan's familiar husky voice in reply, "Bleeding Geth all around the bomb site!"
"Can you hold them off?" Shepard's hand went to her earpiece as she stopped dead in her tracks.
"I'm activating the nuke," came a determined decision through the air way.
"What the hell are you doing, Kaidan?!" She breathed and turned away from Garrus.
"Making sure this bomb goes off – no matter what – ", he bit out in response. "Its done, Shepard, go get Ash and get the hell out of here!"
"Negative LT!" Williams' voice boomed inward, "We can handle ourselves – go back and get Alenko!"
Shepard leaned forward, gripping the railing in front of her so hard he swore he heard one of her knuckles break. A loud bang came from the deck below where they had left Alenko. The bomb was being surrounded and they both knew – in that moment – what had to be done. Shepard stood, turning, and looked to him in an almost desperate way.
She needed him to confirm it.
"We need to protect that bomb," he said to her – to them. The comm microphone on his own headset seemed too loud as his voice boomed through it.
Steel fell behind her eyes, and she radioed, "Alenko get Joker to rally at the bombsite."
"No…" came a little grunt followed by a terrible sigh and a, "Yes, Commander."
"It's the right choice, LT and you know it!" William's voice powered through.
Shepard and Garrus started back towards the door they had just come from, she stopped and whispered, "I'm sorry Ash, I had to make a choice."
"I understand Commander," was the immediate reply. It was strong, confident, resigned and he could tell she was trying to tell Shepard that it was right – it was right – it was the call – it was a soldier giving her life for the duty that she had sworn to. "Now go get LT and blow this base to hell - kick some ass, ma'am."
They didn't speak further as the two of them worked their way back down to the bombsite. It really was overrunning with Geth and Alenko was firing one shot at time – one headshot at a time – conserving ammo as he curled his left arm into his side, his body brimming with blue barrier, but he was almost out of juice. This was almost his last stance. Garrus went to him. He was larger in size than the human male and easily lifted him to his feet. Shepard took down enough of the Geth for the Normandy to pull up and Garrus lifted Alenko onto his shoulders before the three of them jumped up onto the ramp and they entered the cargo bay.
"Hurry!" Shepard barked as they made their way upward into the ship, she left him on the floor of the med bay as he took Kaidan to Doctor Chakwas. Still, he heard her order to Joker, "Ash! We need to get Ash!"
There was no hesitation, he knew, they would go sweep the other team's area, Garrus would follow. Shepard would lead. Time was short, it was dangerous – the nuke had been set for eight minutes. It only took five for them to drop onto the battlefield and find what was left of the Salarian crew. Shepard's words never left her – the question in her grip on Captain Kirrahe's shoulder was answered with his wide eyes closing and his head shaking.
Ashley Williams had saved his team and left them in a soldier's death.
It should have meant more – been more of an honor, he thought.
The Normandy, now with eight extra bodies – but still emptier than ever – left the atmosphere just as the bomb destroyed the base below.
Seven hours after…
He sighed and looked around the room. The debriefing that normally took place shortly after a mission had been put on hold while Kaidan had been tended to. While they all…processed the information that had been realized. His gaze danced to the empty chair in the room.
Shepard stood, arms tightly curled around her midsection, feigning being crossed when he knew that stance. She was trying to hug herself, keep herself together. Wrex was quiet beside him, Liara's eyes studied the Commander, Tali's hand was on Kaidan's back and Alenko's elbows rested on his legs, his head in his hands. "I cant believe Ash didn't make it," his voice came out in a tone Garrus was unfamiliar with. "How could we just leave her down there?" His chin lifted and he pointedly looked at Shepard with accustitory eyes.
She faultered, her own eyes looking into the anger that had been sent her way. Garrus noticed her arms tighten against herself, "Williams knew the risks," she managed, "She gave her life to save the rest of us."
Kaidan didn't let it die at that, he pressed, "But why me, why not her?" His voice had dropped into a terrible whisper. It wasn't anger anymore that pulsated through – there was something deeper there. Something intimate and Garrus' felt his mandible twitch at the display.
Shepard's eyes darted along the plains of Alenko's face and he dropped his gaze. It wasn't his place to see that slight vulnerability that played along her features aimed towards the human man speaking to her, "It wasn't your call, Alenko," came her strong voice, using his last name as a reminder for her or him or someone else – it sounded foreign in their private moment, "I had a choice, I chose you."
"But if I had done my job," he sat back, running his hand through his hair – their spellbound moment gone, "You wouldn't have had to make that call."
"Its not about you, or me –" Shepard's hard voice echoed through the air as she looked up and around to the room, "This is on Saren. Williams….Ash's blood is on his hands."
Garrus nodded, "And we will make him pay," he said so dangerously it came out in a growl. He looked to Alenko and then to Shepard. "Painfully."
"Yes," Alenko said towards him, then looked to Shepard, "Aye aye, Ma'am."
"Commander," the airy voice of Liara fluttered into the soldier-charged fury atmosphere, "Excuse me for interrupting, but I have an idea. I think the beacon you found on Saren's base was similar to the one on Eden Prime." Liara's bright blue eyes looked around the room and then back to Shepard, "It may have filled in the missing pieces of your vision. I might be able to help you put all those pieces together."
"You want to join our minds again, don't you?" But Shepard was already stepping towards the Asari in acceptance of the offer. "Okay, go ahead."
"Relax Commander," Liara told her as she closed the distance between the two, "Embrace eternity."
Garrus looked around the room then, deciding that he would never be comfortable witnessing this kind of exchange. It was – he sighed and shook his head. There was an urgency to the mission now. A demand that things be put right. Williams death as like a sling shot and they were being pulled tautly backwards and they needed – they had to find the release to spiral them head first towards Saren and Sovereign. It was a necessity now. It was demanded of them.
He eyed Alenko with concern, the man still looked pale and worse by far. He had worked overtime on the battlefield today and had saved his life as well as Shepard's. He could tell that he was feeling guilty. Guilt. Regret was coming after that – he hoped that he could see the bigger picture. He hoped that his emotions wouldn't get the better of him.
When he looked to Wrex he understood all too well what had actually happened on the planet's surface. The vulnerability that had crossed the beast's features had been devastating when Garrus finally was told the truth behind the stand off. Saren had found a cure for the genophage. In blowing up the base, the cure would be lost. Wrex, rightfully so, had fought against it. How Shepard and talked him down, Garrus would never know. He was just thankful that Wrex used his brain and not his head. Even when his entire race's future had been placed raw and bleeding in front of him. Garrus had never felt something so heavy in all his life when he thought about it. Wrex was a better man than he ever would be. A krogan.
"Incredible," Liara breathed and he looked back towards Shepard and the asari to see both of their eyes open. "I never thought the images would be so intense." Her hands came up to grab Shepards arms and the Commander helped steady her. "I need a moment to collect myself."
"Did the vision make any sense to you?" Shepard pressed.
"It's a distress call, a message sent out across the Prothean empire. A warning against the Reapers, but the warning came too late."
"What about the Conduit?"
"There were other images. Locations. Places I recognize from my research…." She frowned and suddenly her brows lifted, eyes wide as she exclaimed, "Ilos! The Conduit is on Ilos!" Liara nodded, "That is why Saren needed to find the Muhle relay – it is the only way to get to Ilos."
Shepards brows furrowed and she released Liara, stepping back and crossing her arms, "How come you never told us about Ilos before?"
"The Mu relay links to dozens of systems, hundreds of worlds - how was I to know Ilos was the one we wanted? Without the Cipher, the images in your visions were never clear, thanks to my mother giving you that Cipher – its only now that I recognize the landmarks from Ilos."
"Then we need to get to Ilos!" Shepard nodded, determined.
"The Mu Relay is inside the Terminus System," Tali piped, "Alliance ships are not welcomed there. Neither are Spectres."
Shepard glared at the Quarian, but it wasn't truly directed at her, "The Conduit is on Ilos, that's where Saren is heading and I'll be waiting for him when he gets there."
Liara warned her about his army and suggested Shepard reach out to the Council for help, her words died off when she nearly collapsed again. Garrus felt a brow raise at the almost identical conversation end between the two women before Shepard dismissed them all and affirmed to Joker to patch the Council in.
Garrus stayed to listen to the conversation. She tried to warn them, she spoke clear and true and yet they denied her claims and told her point blank that she was being manipulated by Saren and her visions, her warnings were all an elaborate plan of the rouge Spectre to keep her chasing after something other than him.
"Sooner or later you're going to have to take something I say on faith, Councilor," she bit out.
"Try to look at it from our perspective, Commander," the asari councilor spoke, "Saren is a threat we can recognize, however, as far as we know – the Reapers only exist in your visions."
She shook her head as they continued about evidence, however he did catch the gyst of them saying that it was up to her. If she deemed Sovereign a threat, then she had to act alone. It was her duty and sole responsibility as a Spectre to act as she saw fit.
"Good luck, Commander," and he actually felt the warmth behind the words, "From all of us."
The line of communication went dark and the space in front of her emptied of the orange hologram. Shepard's sigh filled the room. She still had her back to him, still didn't acknowledge his presence. He wondered if she knew he was there at all.
"Garrus," she said suddenly, answering his train of thought, "Williams is dead."
He brought himself up off of his chair and to his feet, moving across the room to the small woman. She wasn't Commander Shepard right now, she was just Shepard. A teammate who just lost a friend. He recognized the change in energy the moment she had said his name. Normally, this version was reseved for the Mako. He brought his taloned hand up to grip the back of her neck in the way that she always seemed to need.
Garrus squeezed some of the tension, working the muscle there as he hummed a small confirmation to her statement without the use of words.
She took in a shaky and watery breath, "Ash is gone, Garrus." It was softer, a small cry, a little gentle sob.
She moved into his side them. Arms circling his frame easy and yet strangly, the hand that had been on the back of her neck remained and he felt a sense of ….pride? No. He frowned down at the strange angle and realized that she needed an anchor. So he released her neck and brought his arm down across her back, resting his hand on the lower part flat and pressured to bring her closer into his flank.
Shepards soft sobs filled the air and he looked up from her and around the room hoping that no one would walk in. This was her moment, most likely needed and the crew always tended to demand too much of her.
He cleared his throat, her little sobs was dying off already, she wasn't overly emotional, he had found that out over the course of the time they had all been living together. There were dramatic humans, even Alenko seemed more emotionally charged than Shepard. But in those quiet hours they had shared, her one or two tears seemed more devastating to him.
"Shepard," he said her name and she stiffened in his arms. He felt her pulled away minutely, her hand going to her face most likely to clear it of the liquid there and then she moved out of his grip entirely. He wanted to whine at the loss of contact. It felt wrong. His arm fell limply at his side – he had broken the moment. And he wished had hadn't.
"Sorry," she said weakly before clearing her throat.
He shook his head, "Don't do that."
Red rimmed eyes looked up to catch his gaze in a quiet question.
"Don't apologize to me, Shepard, I…" he didn't know what more to say, his brow plates shifted, his mandibles snapped up and then back down. "I am sorry for your pain."
She smiled sadly at him and shrugged one shoulder, not having anything to say on that. "I need to go check on Kaidan."
Of course she did. She always checked on her crew after a mission. And this one was had dealt a heavy blow to their team. She would see it as a her duty to seek them out first, far before she ever tended to her own wounds. He nodded, but before she left the room he said to her, "I'll be at the Mako, if you need me."
Shepard had looked towards him then, one hand on the wall just by the door, her green eyes soft, her body weaker than he had seen before and she nodded to him. Leaving Garrus in a room full of energy he didn't recognize, following a mission that had gone sideways, in a war that was just beginning.
AN: The first Mass Effect always felt so short to me, I hope youre all enjoying the story so far. Strange to think we havent even stepped foot into the bulk of this universe! I am excited!
-CM