AN: Set immediately post Tamara walking in on Tim and Lucy sharing that kiss… A little outside my normal style. But in my head, I don't think either of them would have been thinking too coherently, and this is my attempt at getting in Tim's head.
Tim Bradford was flustered. He didn't GET flustered. He heard himself stumble through goodbyes to Lucy and Tamara. Felt himself practically fighting his way through the eyeball pressure from Tamara's stare of disbelief and not-too-thinly veiled amusement as he rushed out of the apartment. He was trying to look casual and business like; at least, he thought he was trying.
He made it to the hallway with the apartment door closed behind him. Had he closed it? Had Tamara? He wasn't even sure which one of them had.
He wasn't sure of anything right now. His breathing was heavy and his heart was racing.
He could still feel Lucy's lips pressed against his.
What had just happened?! It may have started as practice for an undercover assignment, but it only took a moment for it to kindle into something far different.
And he'd felt like he'd been waiting for just that moment all along.
He silenced the "Sergeant Bradford" voice that was trying to make its opinion heard in his head. Right now, he needed to just be Tim.
How long had he been in denial about… THIS?
Quick flashes of memories with Lucy raced through his mind
Lucy surprising him by recording that first book she'd done to help him study for his sergeant's exam…
The bickering they'd done when being interviewed for that ridiculous documentary…
Laughing over nothing as a group of them ate lunch from the food truck…
The look in her eyes the day he'd asked her to save him a dance at the wedding…
Her arms pulling him close when she told him that he was nothing like his dad.
Lucy staying with him for hours on the other side of the door, keeping him grounded, as he sat on the floor clutching his service pistol after he'd been exposed to the virus, wondering if he'd have to use it to keep from dying the way the man who exposed him had died.
How long ago had he starting falling for her? How did he not realize?
She had grown from inexperienced rookie to trusted partner. Lucy could be frustratingly direct in asking him questions, and yet insightful and thoughtful enough that he'd opened up to her about his life in a way he hadn't with anyone else. To his surprise, he'd grown to value her friendship and now he couldn't imagine them not being friends.
And she could still catch him off guard. Now, remembering just how Lucy re-wrote their cover story only minutes ago threatened a whole different set of imagery in his head than it had. He really needed to get a grip and remind himself that this was supposed to have been just work. "It got me so hot that we hooked up while they were still searching the building…" What made her come up with that?!
His pulse quickened again at the thought of her warm hands on his face tonight when she rushed too quickly to try a more convincing undercover kiss. And in an instant that "just work" kiss had taken over and pulled them both in.
It had pulled them both in, hadn't it? Was she still acting for the UC role? Was she that good? He remembered her charade on her last day of training, wanting to prove to him that she was ready for undercover work. His own mixed and confused reactions, and his relief when she'd laughed and fessed up to making that up to show him how convincing she could be. And yet, now he had to wonder if he actually felt a tiny bit disappointed back then.
Had this kiss really just been acting for her? He couldn't even deny to himself that it wasn't for him… When they'd naturally parted for a breath, instead of stepping back, HE was the one who had leaned in to continue the kiss. But no, even that had felt mutual. And she'd been every bit as mortified as he was when Tamara opened the door.
A sharp intake of breath as it occurred to him that Tamara and Angela had become friends. Panic at the thought of this spreading through the precinct until a shred of sense reminded him that Angela was his friend and would never do that to him. But she might well tease him mercilessly in private. In his head, he could see her eyes crinkle and hear her laugh when she said, "You couldn't even remember if you'd brought anything with you, Bradford? 'You know what? I don't have anything.' That must be one of the most smooth exit lines of all time." He could practically see her swipe a tear of laughter from her eye.
He tried to rein his thoughts in, but he just didn't begin to know how to deal with any of this. And it was a little unsettling just how much he wished Tamara hadn't walked in.
He stood in front of his car fumbling in his pocket for his car keys. His car? He looked around. He didn't even remember leaving her building and walking down the street to his car. Inwardly rolled his eyes at himself as he remembered that his car had a fob and not keys.
Sitting behind the wheel, he took a deep breath, closing his eyes and exhaled slowly, counting to 10 as he'd been taught. Trying to clear his mind. (But he could still taste her kiss.) Trying to clear it enough to be able to drive home. He hoped he remembered how to get there.