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Disclaimer: I don't own Downton Abbey
Robert didn't know how to continue with this. For some reason, after he'd realized he loved Cora, he thought all their problems were done.
The library was silent and dark except for the glow of his drink and the sound of Robert swallowing. The end of 1894 had been difficult. And he hated himself for letting this bother him. After all, Cora was the one who had lost her father to cancer.
Cora was the one who had barely had the chance to say goodbye to her father, almost arriving too late. She was then attended a Jewish funeral where it was clear she was not welcome. It was understandable that she had ignored Robert since returning to Downton.
He still loved her as she didn't look at him or speak to him. After all, who could be a better mother to Mary or Edith? But Robert had hoped with 1895 beginning, she might begin to change, especially as she was no longer wearing mourning. Cora had loved their Christmas and New Year's celebrations in the past. Besides that, Cora had always been so optimistic. "Things will look better in the morning" was one of her favorite sayings.
But as the month of January began, she was twice as withdrawn as before. Robert knew Cora was hurting and he ached to protect her from the painful world, but how? He had begun to know Isidore Levinson during their anniversary trip to New York, but obviously not enough to understand Cora's grief.
And the only thing Cora seemed to focus on anymore was her dead father. There was no time for Robert at all.
He took another gulp of scotch, wondering why it mattered so much to him. People needed space to grieve, and Robert knew that. Mama and Papa gave each other plenty of space when Granny died, not speaking to each other even at the dinner table for several months.
But as difficult as it was for Robert to admit, he was no longer comfortable with space and solitude. He'd grown comfortable with the close relationship he and Cora had developed in the last few years of their marriage. Perhaps more comfortable than he should be.
But the fact was, Robert couldn't live without Cora's love any longer.
He took another large gulp of scotch, and marched upstairs, heading for Cora's bedroom without even calling for his valet first.
"Cora," he said entering her room without knocking, as was his custom. "We need to talk." She wasn't asleep, fortunately. Instead, she sat in her bed in her purple-colored nightdress and her head leaning against the high headboard. A soft oil light provided enough illumination for her to read.
Despite the whole impossible situation, she was still gorgeous with her pale skin reflected against her dark hair, blue eyes, and impressive figure. He wanted her more than ever.
But her head turned in the other direction at his words, and Robert couldn't take it anymore.
"I love you," he said angrily, feeling the scowl on his face and his blood boil inside him. "Why won't you speak to me?"
Cora's blue eyes glanced at him over her shoulder, which Robert still found beautiful, but he didn't understand the message. Mama's constant warning that Cora would leave soon flashed in Robert's head, and his blood boiled even more.
On some level, he knew that the alcohol he'd consumed tonight had not helped, but Robert didn't care about that right now.
"Cora you cannot leave," he said almost shouting, his anger hiding his fear.
"Why not?" she finally said bitterly. "Your mother is still here to oversee Downton, and Poppa has already left me."
His anger dissolved slowly as her words registered. Her father had left her. He had left Cora's life, and he would never return. "I wish he hasn't left," he said, shrugging. "I'd give anything if I could bring him back to you." He sat carefully on the bed.
Cora finally gave him a small smile, even though tears were falling. "Thank you," she said, attempting to wipe her eyes. "I shouldn't let his death affect me like this; it's not fair to you. And I haven't truly seen Poppa in years, even when I lived in New York, he was too busy with his business. But now…"
Her tears came even faster now, and Robert hesitated, then pulled her into his arms. Before she'd begun ignoring him, Cora had found Robert's arms very soothing when she was upset.
And for a moment, things were better between them. Her face buried into his shirt as she cried, as if Robert's presence truly helped. And Cora's body was soft in his arms and her breasts pressed against his chest in a good way.
Then it was all ruined when he belched directly in her ear. Cora immediately wiggled out of his arms. "Robert, you are drunk," she said, as if she had the right to be angry now.
"So, what if I am?" he said, his anger returning as he felt her rejection again and the liquor bubbling in his system. "I needed it."
She shook her head violently. "I cannot deal with this right now. You need to leave."
Robert sighed and did, so slamming the dressing room door as he went. He had been hoping now that she was finally speaking to him, things would improve. Perhaps she'd even be his valet for tonight.
Instead, he was a drunken fool who was forced to ring for his valet and sleep in his dressing room. He shouldn't be angry when Cora was in more pain than he'd ever known. But he was.
OOOOOOOOOO
Waking with a pounding head the next day, Robert tried to think of a way to make it up to Cora. He wished he hadn't been so angry last night. He should not have let his bad temper out on her while she was still grieving.
Once again, he gave her plenty of space, spending all morning visiting the farms and allowing her to remain her room in the afternoon.
During tea, Cora stayed silent, staring blankly ahead while Mama, Papa, and Robert chatted quietly. "I knew it would happen sooner or later," Mama said sipping her tea as if nothing were wrong. "She clearly isn't suited for this life much longer. It might be for the best for her to leave, considering there is still no heir."
Robert shook his head, knowing it was pointless to argue with Mama, but unable to stop himself when she said this kind of thing. "I think she is suited to be my viscountess perfectly," he said, another scowl forming on his face even as he sipped his own tea. "And I wouldn't trade Mary or Edith for an heir, no matter what."
Cora wouldn't leave him. Cora wouldn't leave him. Robert's eyes wandered to his wife, still so beautiful even though she wouldn't look at him
Mama pressed her lips and shook her head. "That isn't the point, and you know it, Robert."
"Violet, I wondered if you had any news about the hospital today," Papa said, desperately trying to end this tedious conversation.
Robert bit into a tea cake. He had just finished when Mary and Edith came down the stairs. Edith immediately tugged at Cora's purple dress and Cora eagerly sat the two-year-old on her lap. Robert's heart melted.
Meanwhile, Mary who was always trying to be the proper young lady her governess instructed, sat on the settee primly between Mama and Papa.
"I think you are wonderful with the girls," he said to Cora gently, sitting next to her. "And I apologize for my brutish behavior last night." He should never have entered her bedroom drunk and angry. That solved nothing.
Cora's beautiful blue eyes finally stared into his above Edith's blonde head. "Thank you." Then she whispered, "And I know I shouldn't behave so, but ever since Poppa died, I've been so confused on who to blame and what to do."
Robert nodded although he had no idea what she meant.
"The girls are the only things that make sense to me, Robert." She squeezed Edith even tighter.
"Would you like to leave Downton?" he said with a straight face, although his heartbeat wildly, terrified of her answer.
"I don't know," Cora said with a horrid shrug. "I thought returning to England following the funeral would help, but it hasn't. I dislike the idea of leaving the girls, but a holiday for the two of us might be a good thing."
A holiday for the two of them. The words repeated in Robert's head over and over again like a favorite song. Of course, Cora hadn't truly been considering leaving him. She would never do such a thing.
A huge smile spread across his face. He felt an intense desire to kiss her lips, which suddenly seemed fuller and inviting than ever, but he couldn't do that with Edith in her lap and Mama and Papa nearby. Instead, he stroked her cheek, knowing how much she appreciated his touch and reveling in the soft touch.
"Perhaps I could arrange that holiday to Egypt we'd been discussing for the last couple of years for our anniversary," Robert said as he caressed her cheek again.
Cora sighed, staring at Edith in her arms and at Mary, across the room, before she nodded. "I think that is a good idea." Her right hand sled up to press against his, which was still touching her cheek. Perhaps Cora hadn't lost her optimism, after all.
Mama would crow, naturally, saying she knew Cora would leave and now she was. The fact that she was leaving for a holiday with her husband instead of permanently made no difference to her; only proving she was always right was important to Mama.
But Robert beamed anyway. He didn't care. All that mattered was he'd finally found a way for Cora to be happier again.