The midterms have been over in a week. The results are yet to be announced, but Hachiman is sure the amount of time he has spent studying has been efficient. Despite the fact that his mind has been occupied with someone else during the process. A specific someone who has been avoiding Hachiman for a week and a half almost.

At first, he had thought that it was because of the exams. It was not unusual for Shizuka to shut herself down, completely drown into her books and is by all means isolated from other people. She does that. It is like a standard routine for her to do. So Hachiman hadn't thought, that it was not about the exams, but about him.

The day he had noticed it, was the day after the midterm week. Hachiman had understood that Shizuka was avoiding him, well it was when she had only greeted him with a 'Hello!', giving him a quick glance and nothing more. She hadn't even looked at his side twice, never tried to irritate or annoy him or feed him with unnecessary information. Not even once.

So yeah, that was how he understood. And it pissed him off. Also, not that he would say that to anyone else, he felt like he had been rejected which is absolute nonsense because he hadn't even asked anything. Nevertheless, that feeling was there and he hadn't the least idea about what the hell to do with it.

He had tried to talk to her once. When he was walking down the stairs on his way to the dorms, he had seen her going up hurriedly. Probably late to class. She hadn't noticed him but he had situated himself so that their ways would cross. She had looked up at him when he had blocked her path.

Shizuka appeared to be angry at first but then as she had progressed that it was Hachiman she looked surprised. "Hachiman?"

"We need to talk," Hachiman had said, directly going into the topic for all of this bullshit was too much for him to take.

"Why?" Her tone was fake. Hachiman could tell just by looking into her eyes. She knew damn well why they needed to talk. Hachiman greeted her teeth at her very rhetorical question.

"You know why."

Shizuka gazed around herself as if to find something to save her from this conversation. "Look Hachiman, I am late to class. Can we discuss this later?"

Hachiman took a step down so that he was closer to her face. "Stop avoiding me. You think I don't understand?"

"I'm not avoiding you!" She had said in a defending tone. He hadn't taken any of her bullshit. The gradually visible blush had been coloring her face since the first second she had seen him.

"Don't play dumb, woman."

"I'm not—" She had started but seeing Hachiman's determined stare that he was nowhere near to believe what she had to say, she had looked away and sighed. "I just..."

"Hiratsuka-san!" A voice had come among the crowd going up and down the stairs. "What are you doing? We are late."

"Right," Shizuka had said like she had woken up from a trance. "Sorry Hachiman, I need to go. See you later!" And before Hachiman had a chance to stop her, she was gone.

Hachiman scowls at the ceiling when he thinks about their small conversation. She very usually never cares about other people's opinions about her. He also doesn't exactly know about the way a woman experiencing things like this. Whether it is something as simple as sleeping or anything that is more intimate.

He straightens up in his bed and moves a hand through his still-damp hair. He wonders what Shizuka is doing right now. Very likely, she is studying in the library or reading manga. He sighs and it is even a big wonder as to why he is busying his mind so much with her.

Because you care.

Hachiman gets up and wears a black jacket on top of his white shirt.

"Well, I don't now," Hachiman mutters while tying up his shoes. "But I'm going to find out."

Hachiman knows that the reason why he is so anxious about talking to her, to find out actually what is going on is because of the fact that he doesn't want to lose her. In favor of something more than friendship, he doesn't want her to distance herself from him. He is aware of his feelings, he is aware that deep down he wants... what he had that morning to be a usual thing. Not something either of them would want to run away from. However, if that is not what she wants, he will not let this stupid desire to destroy what he already has with her.

When he reaches the classroom, Shizuka is indeed still there. Hachiman does not immediately go inside. He stops at the door and leans against the door frame making sure that the shadows are hiding him. Shizuka does not seem anywhere near to realize him though.

A few minutes pass during which Hachiman stands still, silently looking at her. She examines, murmurs to herself, frowns, thinks and takes notes. Completely focused on the task at hand. Hachiman feels slight guilt for having to distract her from her study, but just slightly. This conversation needs to be done.

So he walks inside. He is not necessarily quiet but a focused Shizuka is also unwary. Only when he goes near to her and taps the table with his index finger does she notices him.

She gasps, eyes widening, "God, you scared me!"

"I've literally just walked here like a normal person," he says flatly. "You should be more aware of your surroundings."

Shizuka rolls her eyes. "Thank you for your input," she says and eyes him briefly. "Why are you here?"

"Are you hungry?" Hachiman asks, staring into her eyes.

Shizuka seems a little surprised at his question. She blinks her eyes a few times and shakes her head. "No, I'm good."

Wrong question. Even on the age of starvation, she would not accept that she needs to eat. "When did you last eat something?"

She looks at the clock and pauses, calculating. "I ate lunch."

Hachiman squeezes the bridge of his nose. Turns out she is in fact on the age of starvation. "Idiot," he sighs and throws her an exhausted stare. "Take off that damn coat. Let's eat something if you don't want someone to find you dead on the floor in the morning."

"Dramatic," she points out quietly. Hachiman narrows his eyes.

"Come on, I will not wait for you forever."

She looks at the papers in front of her, and then Hachiman again. "But I need to finish—"

"No," Hachiman cuts her off, strictly. "You are not avoiding me anymore."

Shizuka opens her mouth as if to protest him once again, yet she chooses not to speak and Hachiman thinks he sees a slight glint of guilt in her eyes. She bites her lower lip and seems to consider Hachiman's offer. "Okay," she says at last. "You're right, we need to talk. Let's go."

Only then Hachiman realizes how tense he had been when he was waiting for her answer. He feels his muscles relax and nods shortly as he waits for her to take her lab coat off and change into her brown raincoat.

Shizuka suddenly burst into laughter. Throws her head back while her loud and cheerful voices fill the room. Hachiman forces his eyes away from her when he realizes that he actually... that he actually missed that voice. He turns around hiding the redness starting to gather on top of his ears and the small smile forming in his lips.

They buy two sandwiches and beverages for themselves and sit down at one of the arbors placed inside of the campus to eat. Hachiman knows he needs to start somewhere but he cannot put the words together properly. The silence is uncomfortable. He eats and thinks, trying to form a reasonable statement. He chews, drinks, swallows and at last decides to just screw it and opens his mouth, but just then Shizuka acts earlier than him.

"I panicked."

Hachiman stares, surprised for he hasn't been expecting Shizuka to even talk let alone admitting that she had panicked.

"Why?"

Shizuka doesn't look at him while drinking her soda. Her eyes are thoughtful. Hachiman waits patiently for her to continue. "I ran away," she says. "I know I shouldn't have before we even had the chance to talk about what happened and I..." she trails off and sighs. "I don't know."

Hachiman nods and takes another bite from his sandwich while thinking about what to say in response. He understands because yes they both needed to talk about it and decide what was going to happen between them first. "So you decided to avoid me because you panicked?"

She gives him a sheepish smile. "Well, that is another issue." She takes a long sip from her soda. "Okay, I'm going to tell you something. It is not some anime talk that you never care to listen, grumpy. It is about me."

Hachiman looks at her. "Well, I'm all ears then."

Shizuka narrows her eyes, she appears to be deciding whether Hachiman is worth hearing what she has to say or not. For a moment Hachiman thinks she will not tell him anything. But then she clicks her tongue and starts. "I love to love. Not just my friends or my family. I love ramen, baseball, manga, playing bass... I love nature, the world. Loving people is not something I can control. But...it's not something I expect from others."

Hachiman cannot say anything back. He just stares and stares. He realizes that Shizuka Hiratsuka is a thousand piece puzzle. Complicated, and difficult to solve but at the end, where the pieces come together and fit perfectly, she is just as beautiful.

"As Van Gogh says, 'There is nothing more artistic than loving people.' This sums up." She shrugs and looks away biting her lower lip. "But that morning, I felt different. I felt something I was not allowing myself to feel for a very long time, so I guess... it scared me. And I ran away. I'm sorry."

The air he inhales suddenly becomes heavier and his heart beats faster that is almost uncanny. He opens and closes his mouth but still cannot make any progress on talking. He doesn't know what he is thinking too. His mind is a void and he just watches her watching him.

"Was that enough explanation for you?" She directs another question when he doesn't answer the other one.

"Yeah..." He clears his throat. "But don't do that again."

"You just cannot stay away from me, can you?"

"...Shut up." He rises from where he sits and collects theirs trashes on the table. "It's getting late. We should go."

"Okaay..."

They walk to the dorms, side by side, silently. Neither of them talks, but this time the quietness is not tense or uncomfortable. He thinks about what she had told him, over and over again. He knows he will till he sees the morning sun.

Before they part, Shizuka asks him if he wants to go to the beach with her tomorrow night.

"Why?" He raises a brow.

"No specific reason. I've been intending to go for some time. You can come too if you like."

He doesn't respond right away to consider her offer but he knows there is no need to waste his time. Not when she looks at him expectantly with those big, purple eyes of hers. Of course, he is going to say yes. "Okay."

She lights up. "Great! I'll see you tomorrow then!"

Hachiman goes to his room, lays down on his bed and thinks about her and everything she had said until the early morning and only then falls asleep.

She texts him the next day, an hour before the sunsets.

I'm waiting at the entrance of the campus. Bring your bike ^_^

He frowns at the message. Why does she want him to bring his bike? The weather is good and the beach is not that far away. However, he doesn't have the energy to ask a question he will probably not get an answer to. So he takes his bike and goes to meet her.

She is waiting there, wearing dark jeans, a grey sweater and a black jacket.

She waves at him, grinning.

"Why did you want me to bring my bike?"

She shrugs, carelessly. "I thought it would be nice."

"And where is yours?" Hachiman asks suspiciously.

"I don't have one."

"Seriously?" Why the hell is he even surprised? "We are going on a single bike?"

"Yep," she claps her hands. "Let's go, captain!"

And so they do. It is not as uncomfortable as Hachiman expected it to be. Shizuka sits behind him while he rides the bike. Her hands are on each side his waist and he can feel their warmth through the fabric of his sweatshirt. The wind blows his hair away and he imagines her face. A calm, tender smile on her lips, face relaxed and eyes closed. The late, last strays of sunlight touching her skin, playing with the color of her hair. He realizes then, when he rides his bike towards the beach during the sunset, with her hands on his waist and her image in his mind, that he feels peaceful. He feels belonged.

When they reach their destination, the sun is almost down and the sky is a shade of a darker blue. He ties the bike somewhere near the beach and they walk throughout the seashore. The sound of the waves is a nice melody in their ears, the smell of water and salt and the feeling of the sand is comforting. They walk for a while without talking. At last, when the last strays of the sun are disappeared beneath the night they sit down somewhere near the sea. The water does not touch them but the smell and the sound are even more clear.

"I love coming here," Shizuka says. "It gives me a moment to just stop thinking."

She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. Her face painted with serenity. He remembers the time she was sleeping on his chest. Features peaceful and relaxed just as they are right now. "Yeah," he says and looks away. He doesn't want to put a name on it. He knows he needs to talk about his feelings too, but he is still not very sure about how her reaction will be.

She is not looking at him, her hand playing with the sand.

After that silence settles between them again, and this time it is full of unsaid words. He can feel the tension rising from Shizuka's body. She doesn't say anything for a really long time.

He sees Shizuka taking her shoes and socks off, then folding the lower part of her jeans up.

"What are you doing?" He asks confused.

"I'm going to feel some water," she says standing up. "Come on, join me."

"No way," Hachiman opposites. "It must be freezing."

"Come on, we'll get used to it eventually," she presses but goes away before waiting for an answer from him. She walks into the sea, he can see the tremble on her shoulders.

"You're gonna be sick Hiratsuka. Don't be ridiculous."

"No, it's okay." She waves at him encouragingly. "Come on, Hachiman! Pleeaseee!"

"Oh, for fuck's sake," he grunts but finds himself removing his shoes and socks and folding his trousers up. He walks into the sea carefully and greets his teeth at how cold it is.

"We are going to freeze to death."

Shizuka laughs and gets closer to him. "Relax, nothing's gonna happen to you." She bends down a little and soaks her hands into the water and after straightening up cups his face with her wet and cold hands.

"What the fuck—"

His whole body tenses and he looks angrily at her face. But she is focused on her hands which are positioned on his face right now. She travels her thumbs on his cheekbones with a tender touch and Hachiman feels a tremble going up against his spine that is not about the coldness of the water at all.

"What are you doing?" He asks, voice normal this time. His heart beats faster. "Shizuka?"

"I'm wiping your tears away," she says.

He looks at her lips and realizes how close they are. Her hands get warmer with each passing second and her breath touches his skin.

"You are not going to say it is bullshit?"

He shakes his head slightly. "I think it is true."

Shizuka lowers her head and rests her forehead against his. Hachiman closes his eyes, takes the smell of her shampoo mixed with water and salt. "I'm so sorry, Hachiman."

"Don't be," he says.

Then, she kisses him.

Her lips are soft and a little cold. They move slowly against his lips. The chilly water washes their ankles and the occasional wind blows their hair. Hachiman tilts his head a little to deepen the kiss. His hands move to either side of her waist. His tongue brush against her lips and he tastes both bitter salt and warm sunlight. Shizuka sighs against his mouth, her hand combs the hair on his forehead back.

"Hey," Shizuka says when they pull apart. "I think I don't feel my feet," she continues finishing the sentence with a laugh.

His lips stir. His feet are incredibly cold too but he says, "Shut up," and kisses her again.

When he rides back to the campus later that night, her arms are around his waist and her chin is propped upon his shoulder. Her hair touches his cheek when the wind blows.

"Hachiman," she says. He shifts his head slightly indicating that he is listening. "I've made a decision."

Hachiman hums. "About what?"

She tightens her arms around his waist.

"You need to learn to love," she responds and turns her head and rests her cheek on his shoulder. "And I need to learn to be loved."

Thank you so much for reading.