It was another average workday at the park. Mordecai and Rigby had just finished their daily duties (supposedly) and were ready to max and chillax with some wholesome broship activities.
"I've got the mel-ted but-ter POP-CORN!" Mordecai hollered, emphasising each individual syllable.
"And I got a bunch of action-packed, in-yo-face classics!" Rigby added, holding up a stack of VHS tapes.
The two best friends laughed and pumped their fists as they walked into the living room.
"Dude, this is gonna be sooo-AAAAH!" Mordecai screamed in terror and dropped the popcorn bowl right on Rigby's head.
"Mordecai! What the H, man?" Rigby snarled.
"HEY! Do you mind keeping it down, ladies?" called a gruff voice from the couch. It was Muscle Man, Hi Five Ghost was right beside him floating.
"Muscle Man... what are you wearing?" Mordecai said slowly. Rigby noticed as well.
Muscle Man snorted. "It's called cosplay, Bro! Wouldn't expect a total normie scrub like yourself to understand though..."
"Dude... you're both wearing dresses though..." said Mordecai.
"Hey, don't shame us, Bro," said Fives. "After all, we put up with all your cringe. This is pretty normal in comparison!"
"There is nothing to compare!" Muscle Man shouted. "Cosplay is the portal to righteousness. I chose this outfit in order to honour my toptier waifu!"
"Wai-fu?" Rigby repeated, starting to feel uneasy.
Muscle Man hopped out of his seat and showed off his full getup: A frilly red and white dress, a dark-coloured wig, and a big red bow. "This is Reimu Hakurei. She's absolute best girl!"
"And I'm Miku Hatsune!" said Fives, who was wearing a diva outfit with long teal pigtails while holding a leek in his hand.
"So... you're in love with these 2D anime chicks?" asked Mordecai, trying so hard to look away, but failing miserably.
"Ugh! NO!" Muscle Man said, clearly offended. "Starla is my one true love! Reimu is just my waifu!"
"Excuse me?" hooted a sweet voice from around the corner. Old man Pops stepped into the room. "Did you say you were participating in costume play?"
"We sure are, Pops!" said Fives.
Pops giggled. "I remember dressing up as Bernie the Beaver back in the day! I would go door to door getting free candy from the whole neighbourhood!"
Muscle Man smirked. "Hey, you know who else goes door to door getting free candy from the whole neighbourhood?"
Rigby groaned. "Can you guys take your dumb dress-up party somewhere else? I wanna watch some movies!"
"You know what? I think we will!" huffed Muscle Man. He turned off the TV and gathered up his and Fives' anime junk. "C'mon Fives! Let's go to the convention!" They headed outside, passing Skips along the way.
Skips looked the two up and down for a moment. "Don't spend too much on Fumos..." he muttered before skipping away.
"Hold on, you two!" cried Pops as he ran over to the dynamic duo. "Did you say you were going to a costume convention?"
"Dang skippy, Pops!" said Fives.
Pops childishly clapped his hands. "Oh good show! Jolly good show! Can I tag along?"
"Sure! But you can't go dressed like that!" said Muscle Man.
"Oh, don't worry! I always come prepared for occasions such as this," said Pops. Taking off his hat and pulling out a big blue jump suit. He slipped it on and pulled the spiked hoodie over his bulbous noggin. "I'm Bernie the Beaver and you aren't as fast as me! HAAHAHAHAAHA!"
"Awesome! Turdecai and Rigbuns don't know what they're missing!" Muscle Man snickered.
A few hours later, they arrived at the convention centre. They would have made it earlier, but Their outfits were too stiff to allow them to use the golf carts. This was due to Muscle Man using way to much starch on his skirt to give him the most magical of appearances.
"When do we get the free candy, boys?" asked Pops.
Fives shook his head (essentially his whole body). "It's a convention, Pops. Not trick-or-treating. You gotta pay for stuff with fat stacks!"
"Oh? Then I would like to exchange for a fat stack of Butterfingers!" Pops squealed.
Muscle Man smirked again. "You know who else likes to make an exchange for Butterfingers?"
There were a lot of other cosplayers at the convention and lots of booths featuring VA's, comic artists, and overpriced merch.
"Holy snap, bros!" cried Muscle Man. "They're selling Fumos of the new limited-edition golden Reimu!"
"I thought those weren't sold anywhere outside of Japan," said Fives.
"Well, today's your lucky day!" said the shady cloaked figure in charge of the booth. "That Fumo is one-of-a-kind and only costs the low, low price of $555.55!"
"Done deal, Bro!" Muscle Man slammed his life-savings on the desk and ran away with his prized Fumo.
As Muscle Man was running around the centre with his Golden Reimu, he bumped into another cosplayer. He was about to badmouth them, but gasped when he noticed their outfit.
"So, you're one of them?" seethed the cosplayer.
"Don't you dare say it..." Muscle Man returned the intense glare.
"What's going on?" asked Fives as he and Pops caught up. They saw the cosplayer standing before Muscle Man. They were wearing a long blue and white dress with a big blue bow and fairy wings.
"Cirno is best girl," said the fearsome foe.
Muscle Man shrieked his signature war cry and gelatinously slapped his opponent across the face. "NOBODY DISRESPECTS MY WAIFU!"
The Cirno cosplayer didn't fall to the ground though. They instead appeared to be... floating?
"Oh no! That's no cosplayer! That's the real Cirno!" cried Fives.
Just then Cirno summoned a giant ball of mystic energy that swallowed up the entire convention centre, scorching all of the denizens to skeletons.
Only Muscle Man, Fives, and Pops were left standing.
"How are we not dead?" asked Fives, dumbfounded.
Muscle Man noticed the mysterious golden bubble of energy encapsulating them. He looked down at his golden Fumo. "It's a gift from Reimu. She must have been the vendor from before! She witnessed my undying loyalty to her and gave me this Fumo as a reward!"
Fives frowned. "Yeah... but is it really a reward when you payed her over 500 bucks though?"
Muscle Man held the Fumo high. "You won't ever extinguish my love for my toptier waifu REIMU HAKUREI!" he squealed as he leapt into the air, gaining the power of flight. A long magical staff materialised in his right hand. He aimed it at Cirno as she pelted an onslaught of light bullets at him. He dodged left and right with reflexes akin to Neo from The Matrix. "Game over, witch!"
PEW! PEW!
KA-BLAM!
Cirno was blasted into nothingness and the day was saved.
Meanwhile, back at the park house, Mordecai and Rigby had just finished watching through all of Marvel Phase 1 and were prepping for Phase 2.
Muscle Man, Fives, and Pops returned, looking pretty beat up from the day's events.
"I'm not even gonna ask what happened..." said Mordecai.
"Trust me, Bro..." He held up his golden Fumo. "IT WAS WORTH IT!" He gave Fives a high-five.
"And I got to learn all about how fandom markets swindle people with overpriced merchandise!" Pops chimed in.
"Can you guys leave already?" Rigby sighed. "We were just about get into some more Iron Man..."
Muscle Man smirked once more. "You know who else likes to get into some Iron Man?"
"SHUT UP!" Mordecai and Rigby yelled.
After dropping off Pops, Muscle Man and Fives headed back to their trailer. Muscle Man placed his Fumo in his Reimu shrine and then did his daily rituals to it. Some of these rituals are too mind-blowingly stomach-churning to mention.
"By the way, Muscle Man, you mentioned that Reimu is your toptier waifu. Doesn't that imply you have other waifus?" asked Fives, removing his Miku cosplay.
Muscle Man scoffed. "Well, DUH! You think a total stud like me can dedicate himself to only one anime chick?" He unfurled a curtain, unveiling a shrine dedicated to Cirno. He bowed to it and wept. "My queen, I apologise for I have greatly transgressed..."