Edmund had been living alone for five years, and he could feel his resolve starting to break. He'd sent his people away for a reason. The moonstone was dangerous to be around. Somebody had to protect it, but after losing his wife Edmund didn't dare to risk anybody else's life. This was his burden alone.
Edmund was determined to do his work, but it was difficult to be so alone. His only company was his horse and his crow, and there was only so much that Edmund could say to them. For the first few years he would get the occasional letter from the Brotherhood, but the letters started to slow down after a while. His siblings in arms were settling into their new lives and moving on from the Dark Kingdom.
Edmund was happy for them. This was what he had wanted, after all, for his people to survive and thrive while he alone carried the moon's burden. Still, it was bittersweet. He was happy for his siblings, but he missed them desperately. He was lonely, but he would never say as much in a letter to his siblings. He was worried that at least one of them would feel the need to come back to him out of a sense of loyalty.
Shortly after the five year anniversary of sending his people away, Edmund found himself pacing around the territories near the castle. For a long time he had been reluctant to leave the moonstone alone. For generations it had been constantly guarded by a member of the Brotherhood.
Edmund had stayed close to the moonstone for as long as he could, but eventually staying in one room made his mental well-being decrease even faster. It didn't take him too long to realize that if he remained in this one chamber he would lose whatever remained of his sanity. Edmund had slowly started to expand his patrols. He spent a few weeks walking around the underground caves. He patrolled around the castle. He probably knew every single hidden crevice and secret within the castle.
Edmund couldn't help but feel excited whenever he found a new passage or hiding spot. He had grown up here, and there were still a lot of things that he didn't know. He just wished sometimes that his siblings were around so he could share his findings with them. He knew that Hector and Adira in particular had known about all kinds of hiding spots. Edmund was curious about whether any of his discoveries was something that they weren't aware of.
Edmund had started spending time drawing up a map and keeping notes of everything he learned. He didn't know whether he would ever see his siblings again, but he drew up the map as though he would. Just a little bit of hope kept him going.
Edmund had stayed in or around the castle itself in the past five years. Now though he found himself walking a few hours away, near the borders of the kingdom. He always missed his family, but the loneliness and depression hit him stronger near the anniversary. Each year it felt both easier and harder to deal with, but this fifth year was worse than ever. He needed some distance from the moonstone, even just for a day.
Edmund had both Hamuel and Domino at his side as he walked around the Dark Kingdom. They kept him from getting too paranoid at every little rustle or movement that a lost animal may make. It had been so long since he had seen other signs of life. He must be very close to the border to see other creatures.
Edmund was getting ready to make his way home when he saw two animals that were much larger than the odd rabbit or fox. At first Edmund thought that they were wolves or small bears, but then they came closer and he realized that he knew exactly what these animals were.
Bearcats…specifically, Hector's bearcats. Edmund hadn't seen them in years, but he would recognize them anywhere. Edmund got off of Domino and went to see the bearcats. He knew that they were here for a reason. They wouldn't disobey a direct order or abandon Hector without a very good reason.
Edmund knelt on the ground to see the bearcats. They were both whining and growling at him. They wanted something, but Edmund didn't know them well enough to understand what they were trying to communicate.
"What are you doing here?" Edmund asked. "Is Hector okay?" One of the bearcats bit his cloak and started trying to drag him away. Edmund didn't know what they wanted, but he knew that this was important enough to at least see what was going on. He stood up and began to follow the bearcats. "Is it far?"
One of the bearcats shook its head and ran ahead. Edmund looked at Hamuel. "Go with it. See what's going on." Hamuel was usually rather reckless and somewhat unreliable, but when it really came down to it he was stubborn and loyal, and the bird could do so much more than most people expected.
Hamuel cawed and flew off after the bearcat. The remaining bearcat continued to awkwardly pull Edmund along. It didn't seem to care that he was willingly following along. It didn't seem to trust that he would continue to follow.
Edmund knew that it would be faster for him to ride on Domino and follow behind the bearcat, but it wasn't letting go of him. He had to content himself to go at a slower speed and hope that this emergency wasn't time sensitive.
The bearcat pulled Edmund beyond the borders of the Dark Kingdom. He faltered slightly, as he hadn't stepped foot outside the borders of the kingdom since he was a youth. The bearcat didn't give him time to adjust to how bright and alive everything was out here, it continued to just drag him along.
They continued on for another twenty minutes before the bearcat pulled him into a large clearing. Edmund saw a familiar rhino, but what really caught his gaze was Hector, who was sitting next to his rhino while Hamuel and the other bearcat curled up close to him.
Hector looked angry, but Edmund knew his brother well. He could tell that Hector's anger was a mask. Behind it Edmund saw annoyance, fear, and most prominently, fatigue.
Hector looked like he didn't want to be here at all, but whenever he shifted the rhino would huff and nudge him until he settled. The bearcat had settled itself on Hector's legs, and it didn't look like it was planning on moving any time soon.
When Hector saw Edmund his fidgeting stopped in an instant and his eyes widened.
"Edmund." Hector said tiredly. "You shouldn't have had to come here. I'm fine." Despite Hector's words, Edmund thought that there was a touch of relief in his tone.
"Your friends don't seem to think so." Edmund said. He knelt next to Hector to be at his level. He put his hand on Hector's shoulder. "It's good to see you after all this time."
Hector's gaze softened as he leaned in to Edmund's touch. "It's good to see you too."
"How have you been?" Edmund asked. "I haven't gotten a letter from you in a long time. Are you still guarding the Great Tree?"
"Of course." Hector almost sounded insulted at the implication that he would have abandoned the duty that he felt responsible for. Edmund thought that Hector was being too hard on himself, but he didn't judge him for it. It could be argued that Edmund was doing the same thing with his devotion to guarding the moonstone.
They both worked themselves harder than either of them could handle, but they didn't see an alternative. The moonstone needed to be kept safe, and the evil in the Great Tree needed to be kept away from the hands of people who could misuse the power. They didn't really have a choice.
"You shouldn't be here." Hector said. "You shouldn't be away from the moonstone."
"It will be safe for a few hours." Edmund said. "I can't in good consciousness leave you until I know that you're safe."
"I'm fine." Hector said. The rhino huffed and the two bearcats hissed furiously. They clearly disagreed. Hector glared at them. "You're all overreacting."
"Overreacting about what?" Edmund asked. Hector was reluctant to answer, and that was what really scared Edmund. "What happened?"
Hector sighed and just looked at the ground. Edmund didn't think he had ever seen Hector look so tired and distressed. He wanted to trust his brother, but Edmund knew that Hector's animal companions were probably worried for good reason. Edmund didn't need to know what was wrong to know that it was terrible, and he didn't want his brother to have to go through that.
Seeing the defeated look in Hector's eyes and his reluctance to rely on anybody else, Edmund felt like he was looking at a reflection of himself. For five years Edmund had been telling himself that he was fine, that he was doing all of this so that his family wouldn't have to, and yet here Hector was, looking hurt and upset in a way that he didn't deserve.
Hector and his siblings shouldn't have to feel as lonely and defeated as Edmund did. As their king and older brother in arms, he considered part of his job to make sure that his siblings weren't burdened the way that he was. Clearly he was missing something, and it made Edmund feel like a failure.
"Brother, please," Edmund said quietly. "Talk to me. What's wrong?"
Hector was quiet for a long moment. "...You know that hallucinogenic flower in the Great Tree?"
"Which one?" Edmund asked, because if his memory was correct about half of the plants inside of the Great Tree could be hallucinogenic in one way or another.
Hector snorted. "The one that will swallow you whole if you get the chance."
"Ah." Edmund nodded. He hadn't been inside of the Great Tree for a long time, but he remembered that plant well. "Yes, I'm familiar with it."
"Well, I…" Hector glanced to the side, hesitating again. "Look, I got too close to it a few days ago."
Edmund felt his heart clench. He knew that the Brotherhood had been trained to be prepared to sacrifice their lives. He had always known that he could lose any one of his siblings in the service, but knowing it in theory was much different from hearing about such a close call.
What Edmund was most concerned about was that Hector's casual tone didn't reveal whether it had been an accident, or if Hector had done this on purpose. If the latter was the case, then Edmund had to worry about so much more than just a past close call. There was no guarantee that something like this wouldn't happen again. Edmund couldn't just sit idly by and potentially lose his brother.
Edmund had responsibilities as king and guardian of the moonstone, but he was responsible for his siblings too. Edmund had sent the others away for their own safety, but that was all wasted if Hector found himself in an unsafe situation anyway, one that Edmund couldn't protect him from.
Five years ago Edmund had been more cautious and slow to take action. As a king he had to be careful about every action he took, as a hasty decision could put his entire kingdom at risk, which was what had happened when he had tried to tamper with the moonstone. That one hasty decision had potentially ruined everything. It might have put him off of making hasty decisions altogether, if it weren't for the fact that he didn't have to worry about how his people were affected anymore.
For the past five years Edmund had been making his decisions with very little regard for the consequences, because he was the only one affected. At this moment Edmund felt like he was standing at a crossroads, and out of a force of habit he didn't stop to consider what might be the best for him, Hector, the moonstone, their people, and the whole world. He only did what he believed was best at this moment.
"Come to the Dark Kingdom with me." Edmund said.
Hector just stared at Edmund for a long moment. It took him a bit to recover from his shock enough to speak, though he didn't have a lot to say.
"You…what?" Hector just gaped.
"It doesn't have to be for long if you don't want it to be." Edmund said. "Just for a few days."
Hector narrowed his eyes at Edmund suspiciously. "You sent us away with the specific instructions to never return." If Edmund had heard those words from either Quirin or Adira he would see it as an accusation. He knew that Hector didn't mean it that way. He followed any order he was given, no matter how much he didn't like it or how much he didn't understand it. Hector would never resent Edmund for one of his orders, because he trusted him completely.
"Yes, I did." Edmund said.
"What changed?" Hector asked. "Is this just because you don't think I can take care of myself, like my friends here seem to think?" Hector glared at his animals, none of whom seemed to be even the least bit contrite.
"Well, it's not just that." Edmund said honestly. He knew he wouldn't be able to lie to Hector and said that wasn't even a factor. Hector would see right through him, and he would get angry at Edmund for patronizing him. "Honestly, this is just as much for me as it is for you."
Hector's suspicious gaze softened. Edmund had once been reluctant to show his siblings any sign of vulnerability or weakness, but he was too tired to put in the effort to present strength that he wasn't feeling. Especially when he'd been out of practice for five years.
Besides, Edmund wanted Hector to confide in him, but he'd always been reluctant to talk about his feelings. It was a trait shared among the Brotherhood. Edmund hoped that if he opened up to Hector first, then his brother would feel safe enough to do the same in return.
"These past five years have been the hardest in my life." Edmund said quietly. Hector just looked at him. Edmund thought that he would have a hard time talking about this, but it came out naturally. Maybe it was because he'd said this very thing to himself, Domino, and Hamuel more times than he could count.
"I lost my family." Edmund said. "My wife, my child," Edmund squeezed Hector's shoulder. "My siblings. I've never felt so alone, and sometimes it feels so overwhelming that I don't think I can handle it anymore." Edmund sighed and closed his eyes. "I'm so tired, and if I could pretend just for a few days that I'm not alone…" Edmund trailed off, not entirely sure where to go from there. He couldn't have somebody stay in the Dark Kingdom with him, and he was sure that if he brought someone in temporarily then it would just hurt more when he had to see them leave again.
But Edmund couldn't bring himself to consider the long-term consequences. He was hurting now, and so was Hector, and Edmund didn't think that either of them should be alone. Maybe this wasn't a good idea, but it felt right, and Edmund was far too tired and hopeless to try to figure out a better way.
Hector sighed and leaned towards Edmund. He was stopped by his rhino, but the animal pulled back to allow Hector to rest against Edmund instead. "I get being tired, but I can't leave the Great Tree. I need to protect it." Hector sounded tired, but determined. He was definitely stubborn. That was another trait that the Brotherhood shared.
"If we're both in the Dark Kingdom, then even if somebody gets through the tree to try to get the moonstone, we'll both be right there to protect it." Edmund said.
"But the Heart-" Hector began.
"The tree has been protecting the evil at the heart for centuries. It can manage for a few days." Edmund said. He had meant to reassure Hector, but his brother just stiffened and let out a self-deprecating laugh.
"You think what I'm doing is pointless." Hector muttered. Edmund was so taken aback that he didn't respond immediately, giving Hector the chance to continue. "I've spent my life training to protect the moonstone, and I can't do it anymore. You know what's best, and I trust your judgment. If you think we need to be out of the kingdom, then I'm gone, but I need to do something to protect the kingdom. I thought I found that something, but apparently it's useless."
"Do not say that." Edmund said sternly. Hector sat up and looked at him intently. For a moment Edmund thought that Hector was actually listening to his words, but he realized that he wasn't listening to him as though he was a concerned brother, but as though he was a commanding king. Hector was taking what he had said as an order, and while Edmund wanted to be listened to, it wasn't like this. He wanted his brother, not a mindless servant.
"Hector, please," Edmund softened his tone. He couldn't allow his voice to sound like a command. "What you've been doing isn't useless or pointless. If the tree didn't need you, Then the moonstone wouldn't need me, as it can protect itself just as easily as the tree can keep the heart safe."
Once Edmund had said the words he felt his own spike of dread as he considered that maybe his work really was useless. That he had lost his wife and sent the rest of his family away for reasons that didn't truly matter. Edmund pushed those doubts down. He couldn't afford to have those fears. It would destroy him, and if Hector saw the hypocrisy he may start to spiral too, and they would both be even worse off than they already were.
What they were doing mattered. It had to.
Hector tapped his fingers on the ground. "...If you want me to go with you, I will. I'd follow you to the edge of the world. You know that."
"Yes, I do." Edmund said quietly. He'd always appreciated Hector's loyalty. He just wished that he knew just what he had done to deserve his brother's loyalty. It would also be nice to know how to get Hector to stop seeing him as his king. As far as Edmund was concerned, they were equal, but he didn't know how he could convince Hector of as much.
Maybe spending a few days together, without their responsibilities or other siblings, would help Hector to feel more at ease around him.
Hector took a deep breath. He stood up, and then grabbed Edmund's hand to pull him to his feet. "I don't know if I can be as good as you want me to be, but I'll try not to let you down." It took Edmund a moment to realize that either Hector didn't think that he could be good enough company to ease Edmund's loneliness, or Hector didn't think that he'd be able to stop spiraling, even with Edmund's help.
Edmund gave Hector a heartbroken look. "I wish you could see yourself the way that I saw you." Edmund admired Hector's strength and spirit so much, and he thought that his brother was capable of so much more than he gave himself credit for.
Hector snorted. "If you knew the way I saw you, you wouldn't believe it for a second." Edmund didn't know what Hector thought was so surprising. Edmund already knew that Hector admired and respected him as his king and leader. There wasn't a lot of room for secrecy there.
Hector and Edmund just stood there for a long moment, standing in each other's company and just taking in the fact that they didn't have to be alone anymore. Eventually Hector stared at their grasped hands. He let go of Edmund's hand quickly, yet somehow reluctantly as well.
"We shouldn't leave the moonstone unattended for too long." Hector said.
"No, we shouldn't." Edmund pulled himself onto Domino's back while Hector got on his rhino. Hamuel cawed sharply and settled himself on the rhino's horn. He looked very pleased with himself, like he often did when he found himself a new perch.
They began to ride back to the Dark Kingdom. Though it was difficult to find enough room in the trees for the rhino and horse to walk side by side, Edmund did his best to make it work. When there was not enough room to manage, Edmund would pull Domino back and walk behind Hector, partially so that his brother couldn't change his mind and turn back when he wasn't watching, but mostly because Edmund didn't want to give the impression for even one second that he considered himself ahead of his brother.
"So, why didn't your animals bring you directly to the Dark Kingdom?" Edmund asked. It had been clear that that had been their intention, and yet the bearcats had felt the need to come ahead and bring Edmund to Hector.
Hector snorted. He looked like he couldn't decide whether to be annoyed or smug. "Because I was fighting them every step of the way. I didn't think this was a big deal." The bearcats both huffed and growled at Hector. He rolled his eyes. "Alright, I didn't think it was important enough to bother you. You have more important things to do than worry about me."
"There are very few things that are more important to me than those that I care about." Edmund said. It was the very reason why he had sent the others away.
They weren't too far from the borders of the Dark Kingdom. Soon they started to see more and more black rocks around them until they were absolutely everywhere, filling the landscape. They had returned to the Dark Kingdom. Edmund felt relieved to be back close to the moonstone. It didn't feel right to be so far from it.
Hector stared out towards the castle. He looked almost emotional. Edmund didn't need to ask why, and he didn't feel the need to point it out. Hector had been born and raised in the Dark Kingdom. It had been where he had played as a child. This was where everybody he had known and loved had been. Hector was coming home for the first time in five years.
"It will be nice to have somebody else around for once." Edmund said. He pet Domino's mane. "It's been far too long since I have talked to somebody that wasn't an animal."
"I get the feeling." Hector said. He didn't sound the least bit embarrassed. Hector had never felt shame in relying on his animals.
They went to the stables near the castle. Though the stables were made for horses, they had expanded one of the stalls years ago to make room for Hector's rhino. Domino's stall was towards the front of the stable while the rhino's was in the back, but Edmund brought his horse closer to the back, because he thought that the animals might appreciate each other's company.
Besides, they needed to take the saddles off of the animals and brush them down, as well as feed them and make sure they were taken care of. Edmund would rather do this side by side with his brother than all the way on the other side of the building.
They didn't talk to each other as they worked, though both of them spoke to their animals. They barely even looked at each other, but Edmund for one felt more comfortable to just have Hector there. It was nice to know that he wasn't alone.
They spent more time in the stables than was probably necessary, but eventually they left the rhino and Domino and made their way inside the castle itself, with Hamuel, and the bearcats followed them.
Hector started to make his way downstairs towards the Brotherhood's old quarters, but Edmund knew that there wasn't a lot down there waiting for him. Those rooms had barely been touched in five years. Edmund had only gone down there once, on the one year anniversary, and he had grabbed all of his sibling's belongings and brought them upstairs to his own chambers.
Edmund had been missing them so much, and in his desperation he had taken their bedding and old clothes that had been left behind. He'd been having a hard time sleeping, and he'd hoped that if he had the familiar scent of his siblings there then maybe he could get some rest.
It was pathetic, and made Edmund feel a little grateful that nobody was around to see his fall from dignity and grace. Even now Edmund occasionally pulled out their things, which still had a faint scent to them, if he'd had a very bad day.
Edmund didn't want to explain his humiliating moment of weakness to Hector, even though he was trying to be open with him. Instead of explaining that their moves were empty, Edmund put a hand on Hector's shoulder and led him upstairs towards his own chamber.
"What's the point of you being here if you stay all the way on the other side of the castle?" Edmund said. "No, I want you in my chambers with me."
Hector made an odd sound and stumbled over his feet. Edmund steadied him, frowning in concern when he saw how red Hector's face was.
"Are you ill?" Edmund asked. Hector had seemed just fine outside, but that didn't mean that he was okay now. What if he'd gone too close to the hallucinogenic flower because he was sick and now thinking clearly? Or maybe the hallucinations were having terrible after effects.
Hector pushed Edmund away, though not unkindly. "I'm fine, Eddie." Hector said. Edmund hadn't realized how much he missed that ridiculous nickname.
Edmund hadn't had anybody in his personal chambers since his wife's passing. He had thought that he would feel a little conflicted or bittersweet about it, but when Hector plopped down on Edmund's bed, groaning in relief and ease all Edmund felt was amused.
"Make yourself at home." Edmund said with a chuckle as his brother seemed to try to burrow in the covers.
"I haven't been in a bed since leaving." Hector said. Edmund was stunned.
"You haven't had a bed?" Edmund asked, even as he realized that of course Hector didn't have a proper place to sleep. He'd been sleeping in the Great Tree. Hector had so much more to worry about in the Great Tree than having a comfortable bed.
"I never really got around to it." Hector rolled over to look up at Edmund. "I thought I was fine. I guess you never realize what you're missing until it's given to you."
"And you never realize what you have until it's gone." Edmund hadn't realized how much he relied on his family until he was alone. He'd survived, but he'd felt lost every step of the way.
Hector pushed himself up onto his knees just enough to grab Edmund's hand and pull him onto the bed. "Come on, I'm not giving up this softness, but I'm not about to steal my king's bed. If you're cool with sharing a bed, I'm cool with it."
There was certainly enough room for the two of them. In the back of his head Edmund felt a small sting at the thought of sharing not only his chambers, but also his bed, with somebody that wasn't his wife. Mostly though Edmund felt at peace and comfortable with the idea. When the Brotherhood had been younger, still in training, they would often share beds with each other after a nightmare or a hard day. This was no different.
After all, what had the last five years been if not a series of bad days and a living nightmare?
"Alright," Edmund said. He adjusted himself to try to be on just his side of the bed, but Hector had no such qualms. He nuzzled against Edmund, who couldn't help but put his arm around Hector's shoulders to pull him closer. Edmund had missed this closeness so much.
"I guess you haven't lost your tendencies for physical affection." Edmund said.
Hector huffed irritably and elbowed Edmund quite harshly. "I can still kick your butt."
Edmund was sure that wasn't just cockiness talking. He'd always believed that Hector was the most accomplished and adaptable fighter within the Brotherhood, though he wouldn't have dared to say as much to Adira and Quirin.
"We can put that to the test tomorrow." Edmund said. "It's been far too long since I've sparred with anybody."
Hector smirked. "It'll feel so good to have a challenge again."
Edmund chuckled and adjusted his cloak so that it was resting over Hector, giving him something else to nuzzle against. Edmund would be more than happy to be close to Hector, but he knew from experience that Hector could be very aggressive with his cuddling when he was upset, and Edmund was too old to be pushed off his bed.
"Get some rest, brother." Edmund said quietly. Hector was already still and dozing off. Hector had always been able to fall asleep at a moment's notice, which Edmund and Quirin, with their sleeping issues, had always been jealous of.
Edmund closed his eyes. Every night for the past five years he would think to himself that tomorrow would be a better day, because he needed just a little bit of hope. For the first time, Edmund actually believed it. He had his brother with him. How could tomorrow be anything but better than the overwhelming loneliness that had been Edmund's only companion for so long?
It was going to be difficult when Hector returned to the Great Tree in a few days, but until then Edmund was going to enjoy what he had.