This could be Heaven, or this could be Hell.
Summary
After the last battle with Cloud, Sephiroth's Spiritual Essence hadn't defused into the Lifestream as it should have! Instead, his consciousness had been trapped by unforeseen circumstances and was then shielded and guarded by an unknown ally. But the journey to redemption is long and painful! Can Sephiroth find the strength to piece together the shattered memories of his past? Will he find the conviction to right the wrongs he had committed? Will he have the humility to ask for forgiveness? Can he become the hero everyone had thought he had been?
Aerith and Zack have chosen to retain their consciousness. To that end, they both exist as fully formed spirit energy in the Lifestream. Their memories and love for their friends and each other, combined with their desire to protect, have allowed them to maintain themselves wholly and not be diffused into the Lifestream. The tender and fragile love they had shared when mortal blossomed into a deeper relationship that joined them to each other and the will of the Planet.
On Sephiroth's road to becoming whole, Aerith is the first being he will encounter. Zack is the second.
Aerith
Aerith, the last Cetra had given her life, was given for the protection of the Planet. She now exists as pure spirit energy within the Lifestream. A singular consciousness not to be defused. She did have some regrets, but on the whole, she was content. Aerith had grown stronger in the knowledge she gained of who she was and the 'Duty' her people had been tasked with. And was able to build on a Love once thought lost.
Aerith flowed through the Lifestream, helping those lost find their way and move on—learning from those who would share with her. And always keeping track of those friends she had left behind. She had indeed come into her own and could now ascend to the surface and interact with those sensitive to the Planet's energies. Marlene, the little girl she had helped save all those years ago, was one of the strongest. And because of this, even though it had saddened Aerith, she had placed a significant burden on this young girl's shoulders. But Aerith had continued to watch and guide Marlene. She was carefully helping the young child to understand and develop her capabilities as a healer of the Planet.
When each member of this united circle of friends had come to see the garden that Marlene had taken upon herself to maintain, Aerith had been able to mentally 'tag' them with a tiny 'spark' of herself, giving her an anchor and focus and a reminder that her work was not yet done.
Deep in thought, Aerith feels a gentle tug from one of her friends. Smiling, she realizes it's Cloud. He had come to the garden and the Spring of Healing to speak with her, or at least that is what he believed, as he had no real idea she was still 'here.' It wasn't like it had been before when he had been so consumed with self-doubt and an overwhelming quilt at her death that he had succumbed to the Geostigma. Now it was like a way for him to think about his problems. Like he was talking to a trusted friend about things he wasn't comfortable with letting others know about.
Rising to the surface, visible as a wisp of blue-green mist, Aerith sees his beloved face. Once upon a time, Aerith had come to love Cloud deeply, but Cloud, at that time, had only been a shadow of his true self. Buried deep beneath four years of infusions of S cells, Mako poisoning, and a shattered persona being held together by his one desire to become a SOLDIER. The 'real' Cloud was someone Aerith suspected but had never seen in life.
It had taken Tifa, His childhood friend and crush, who knew him better than Aerith had, to help Cloud piece himself and his memories back together. And Aerith held no ill will to Tifa, who had lovingly if a little painfully built a relationship with Cloud on a solid foundation of truth and understanding. And now Cloud was here, excited but very nervous, as it was almost time for his child to be born.
"Aerith, It is almost time and well. What kind of father can I be?... I just don't know!" Cloud quietly asked his reflection in the shallow pool of water.
Aerith could hear the fear and doubt in him and that he was scared about becoming a father, so she slipped this thought into his mind. "What about Marlene and Denzel?"
"Ya, I guess I've done right by those two. They sure have grown up a lot!" Aerith smiled to herself. Now that Clouds' thoughts were going positively, he would be OK. But Aerith would never tell him that she helped him at these times. It would be too painful for both of them.
Aerith listened to Cloud talk for a while longer; when she felt a wash of negative energy flow through her, and though she was reluctant to leave, she knew she had to go and investigate. Again, letting herself be drawn to the source. She is surprised to realize she is under the new Shin-Ra main building. A place where a great evil had once lived, seething in hatred and animosity.
But Vincent had vanquished that foe! She shouldn't be sensing anything, let alone something like this. Similar to before but different and strange. It felt Alien to this world. Could it be another of Jenova's kind? No, this felt different. Now confused and a little scared, Aerith tried to investigate further, but she was immediately blocked by an invisible force that made her feel sick when she touched it.
Now thoroughly alarmed and not knowing what to do, Aerith lets out a purely mental shout, "Can anyone help me?" A pause, and then a moment later, she was being pulled, like a rocket, towards Mt. Nible.
Sephiroth
Images of death and destruction flare within the sphere of consciousness. Misery, despair and overwhelming grief were the emotions it had invoked when it had been alive. The knowledge it had relished the pain it had wrought now brought disgust to the very core of its being.
"How could I have done these things? Why had I done these atrocious acts? Who am I? What am I?" The tortured entity wailed.
There was no answer to these questions! There never was! So shame followed guilt until It despaired-never knowing why. Only the certainty that it had tried to end the very existence of this Planet. Then the cycle of memory would repeat itself. It shows the same images repeatedly, adding to the torment of its already bruised soul. As it was already dead and no longer had the physical ability to atone for the grave mistakes it had made in life. There would be no chance of forgiveness!
Aerith meets Sephiroth
Aerith floated silently in front of this tortured being. She watched and listened as it cycled through this loop of fragmented memories. Spectral tears formed and fell as she realized who this once was. Gone was the man that had been so full of hatred and betrayal, and in its place was the 'True Essence' of the person he had once been. And now, He was so revolted by all he had done that he could not diffuse into the Lifestream. Aerith was further saddened by the fact that in four years, she had not been aware that he still existed and was still tied by the bonds she had inadvertently created. This was the man who had taken her life; Sephiroth!
Witnessing the mental war being played out in his mind, Aerith could tell Sephiroth was no longer gripped by the insanity that had guided him previously. Instead, she could now perceive the goodness within him. Not yet knowing how or why he was the one to help her, but having the surety of knowing that it was so, Aerith reached out and 'touched' Sephiroth. Projecting calm and adding her 'spark of life.
Aerith softly whispers, "Sephiroth, wake up!" Watching the chaotic ball of emotion still. Aerith waits for him to acknowledge her.
"What, Who? That voice!" And all at once, the seething mass of bleak emotion stilled as Sephiroth became aware of the brilliant, calming light of energy that was now with him-The, Goddess?
"Minerva? PLEASE, End this! Please! Help me end this madness!" Sephiroth brokenly pleads with this new voice.
Startled by the reference to the Goddess, but with sudden insight, "I can not! I am Minerva. Only you can free yourself from these shackles that bind you." Aerith replies sadly.
Confused, Sephiroth asks. "How can I end this? Will I be able to move on?"
Aerith stares at Sephiroth, her heart full of sorrow, and she replies. "Yes, I believe so, but first, you must realize who you are, acknowledge your past and deal with this guilt that binds you here. Until then, you will be trapped here by your mechanics."
Sephiroth knew he could remember next to nothing about himself. He had been replaying the same event over in his mind for so long that any knowledge of himself seemed to have just floated away into the Mists that enveloped this plane, and he knew he needed more information. But her denial of being Minerva left Sephiroth confused. Who else could it be that could communicate with him? The other voices always faded away when he tried to acknowledge them.
"Did I, Do I know you?" He asks quietly.
"In a manner of speaking," Aerith gently responds.
Frustration and confusion making his temper short, Sephiroth snaps back. "And what is that supposed to mean!"
Sighing softly, Aerith calmly replies. "Look into your memories, Sephiroth, for you still possess them. The knowledge you seek lies in them, and you must be able to find them on your own!"
Sighing in exasperation, Sephiroth begins to wade through the tangled mess of memories. He was seeking one that would identify her. After a time, it finally came to the surface of his mind. She was Cetra, protector and guardian of the Planet. She had been the last of her race until HE had struck her down! The image of him taking her life came to him in vivid and horrific detail.
"No! Why? For God's sake, Why did I kill you?" Sephiroth cried out in disbelief.
"To try and stop me from calling forth the Holy magic that could stop the black magic you had summoned!" Aerith abruptly retorted. Anger and bitterness made her words sharper than she had intended.
Sephiroth flinched at the brutally honest words. Knowing he deserved no less. The memories of him summoning Meteor became clearer. But instead of letting it send him into a spiral of despair, he confronted it head-on and accepted that he had done this willingly, even though he could not remember why.
"This is not the person I truly am, and I know this! It is not the person I want to be remembered for! I wish I could undo this." Sephiroth emphatically stated.
Aerith, a sweet and gentle smile on her face, watched the struggle within him. Then, as memory caught up to Sephiroth, Aerith could feel the honest and genuine desire to conquer his demons and knew She knew she would aid him as much as possible.
"Your name is Aerith?" Sephiroth continued.
"Yes!" She replied
"You are Cetra! You were the last of your kind?" Sephiroth queried as he tried to organize the scattered bits of knowledge he seemed to possess.
"Yes and No!" Aerith quipped.
Startled by her response, Sephiroth questions, "I'm sorry. What do you mean by yes and no?"
Mischievously, "Yes, I am the last Cetra, but I am not the last of my kind! I have learned that many people possess the same abilities as the Cetra and can be taught how to use them. For example, there is a young Lady who I have been guiding in this, and she is a very remarkable child." Aerith clarified.
Sephiroth noticed that Aerith had chosen not to mention this child's name, but he realized that this might be more to do with protecting her than anything else, as he could sense reservation in Aerith's reply. So he did not ask for further clarification.
In the still silence, Sephiroth had a moment of insight, and he realized how profoundly he wanted this woman to know how he honestly felt. "Aerith, I know I do not have the right to ask for forgiveness! But I want you to know that I am truly sorry for taking your life. I wish I knew why I had done this, for the thought of it now makes me despise myself." Sadness and quilt filled him wholly.
Having learned so much over the years, Aerith could reply without rancour. " I know! I can perceive the truth in the words you speak. And I do forgive you! I know the fault of your misdeeds is not only your own. As many circumstances brought you to that point." Laying a spectral hand on him. "Sometimes, the greatest tragedies open the way to the greatest successes. Not being bound to a mortal existence allowed me to help save this Planet and my friends far more effectively than I could have had I been alive. It has also allowed me to continue to do so, but now I need your help!"
Stunned by this admission, Sephiroth clung to the one statement that freed him from the emotional shackles of guilt-She had forgiven him! Strangely it felt like the sun coming out after a long cold winter, bathing him in warmth and brilliance he knew he had rarely experienced. Seeking a solid foundation to 'stand' on, Sephiroth asks, somewhat shamefully. "Do you know my name?"
Smiling a little at his discomfort, she replies. "It is Sephiroth!"
He let his name fill him, and with it came images, too faint to be called memories, but they felt right like they were parts of him long forgotten. Becoming the first spark of recognition of who he indeed was. As the years of training and discipline come to the forefront, Sephiroth replied, "You said you need me? I do not know how but I will do what I can for you!"
Aerith hesitantly replies, "I have perceived an evil presence of Alien origins but cannot discern its true form. There seems to be a barrier shielding it, and I can not pass!" shrugging helplessly, "So when I sought for help, I was brought here! Other than that, I just don't know."
A flicker of memory. He was like her... No, that wasn't quite right. What was it? But before he could fully grasp it, it slipped away. Growling slightly in frustration and despair, Sephiroth states. "I am not like you, Aerith. And I fear I will not be able to exist for much longer. I believe the time has come that I should move on!"
Frustrated by his apparent willingness to give up, Aerith retorts sharply. "But you are like me! All humanity is like me, Sephiroth, you only need to see it for yourself, and yes, I can help you!"
Aerith knew how to wake the consciousness and preserve the soul's essence. She had already done this. And how to encourage awareness of the plant in a person. Marlene is the result of this. So reaching out with 'spectral arms,' she holds Sephiroth tightly and infuses him with an essence akin to the life energy of those newly born. Then, using the memories he had already gained and the ones she had of him, Aerith bestows a type of blueprint on him to hold onto.
"There. Now you should be able to retain your 'Self' long enough to see this through to the end. But you must be diligent; seek out who you truly were and why you became the way you did. I believe you will be strong enough to help in this fight when you find these answers."
In a quiet, almost childlike voice, Sephiroth asks. "Can you not just tell me?"
The plea almost undid Aerith, but she knew she had to be firm in her resolve. "No, Sephiroth, I can not, as I did not witness many events in your life. Therefore, you must take this journey on your own because you want to do it for yourself, not because others want you to do it."
Somewhat discouraged, Sephiroth nods. "I believe I understand. And thank you."
"I must go for now, but if you are truly in need, just call for me. And I will come. Sephiroth, you are not alone in this. Others will be there for you." And with that said, Aerith faded into the LifeStream.
The phrase 'You are not alone triggered such an intense feeling within him that it left Sephiroth bewildered. Somehow, he knew he had felt isolated for most of his life. He has always been apart from society and its norm, whether in thought or actuality. There were no real memories yet, just a feeling that this was true. Yet, Sephiroth felt a new hope blossoming inside him as he drifted into the LifeStream in search of the needed answers.
Zack and Aerith
After leaving Mt. Nible, Aerith, with just a thought, summoned Zack. Zack had been a SOLDIER member when he and Aerith first met. And Zack had developed a slight crush on her. But with all that had been going on then, their relationship hadn't gone beyond friendship. And in the end, Zack sacrificed his life to protect his friend Cloud, allowing Cloud to live freely.
Zack had been drifting in the Lifestream, not yet ready to accept his passing as his death had left many promises unfinished. But when he came into contact with the 'spark' that was Aerith. Zack had 'woken' up. Aerith had been looking for a way to help Cloud, who, with Tifa, had fallen into the Lifestream. Cloud was utterly broken and shattered. Now the illusion of who he was had been brutally stripped from him by Sephiroth. And at that moment, the memories of his life returned to Zack, and he regained his sense of purpose. It was that desire to help their friend that brought them back together and a bond that allowed Zack to form and retain his consciousness. To be not diffused into the Lifestream. But their shared feelings kept him beside Aerith to help her protect the Planet.
And over the last few years, even though time held no meaning. Aerith and Zack rekindled the romance, as it were, and developed a lasting bond that tied the two souls together and kept them whole in the chaotic place known as the Lifestream. A place that was but wasn't-real and yet not! A reality where thoughts and memories were more substantial than action.
Now Aerith had just finished explaining all she had learned to Zack and was waiting for his reply. On the other hand, Zack stared mutely at Aerith, So stunned that he was at a loss for words. Sephiroth still existed! One emotion warred with the next. Betrayal of the Mentor; dishonour of SOLDIER; Bringer of Death! A rage so hot it burned to the very depths of his being.
"But how Aerith? How can you want to help him?! For God's sake, why?" He asked defiantly.
Aerith started to giggle. The questions that both men had asked her were almost identical but had been asked for two different reasons. Zack, not seeing the humour in this, glared at her. Which only made her laugh harder. Crossing his arms in front of himself, he snaps, "Well?"
Getting herself under control, Aerith replies. "Because Zack; his death has shattered the bonds Jenova created in him. The full destruction and purification of anything tainted by Jenova have severed any lasting influence it had on him. Unfortunately, it has seemed to cause him to forget much of who he was and many key memories of that time."
Zack, in the opinion that Sephiroth, not having any real memories, was all for the better; Snorts with disgust. "Not everything has been purified, Aerith! Lucrecia and Cloud both still contain Jenova cells. And I refuse to do anything to put any of them back into danger for no reason!"
Sighing with frustration, Aerith knows she will have to tell Zack more than she had wanted to. "Lucretia is still encased in Mako, and if you think Vincent is going to let anyone know where she is, let alone get anywhere near her, you are sadly mistaken! He is well aware of this possibility. It is in part why he agreed to become a Turk again. As to Cloud. There is more than Jenova that binds the two of them!" She ends cryptically.
Shocked at this admission, Zack asks, "What do you mean by that" But Aerith wasn't going to reveal anything further on that subject. So she turned her back to Zack and continued from where she had been interrupted.
"Zack, Sephiroth is nearer to being the man you knew and looked up to, but he is lost and very confused. The desire to redeem himself and the wish to help is very great!" Then, turning back to face him, she states with some anger. "And no matter what, you are both SOLDIER! It is passed time that you both start acting it!"
Shamed by the intensity in her voice, Zack hangs his head. But Aerith continues. "Please, Zack, Go to him and see for yourself. Help him if you can. It is that important. Just remember, he needs to find out about himself on his own and not by the will of others. He needs to recognize his memories, not just the memories others have of him, OK?"
Sighing in defeat, Zack replies. "Well, if you have found it in your heart to forgive him and you can see something worth fighting for, I will go and see what I can do to aid him." And with that, Zack goes off in search of Sephiroth.
Aerith sadly smiles, for she knows how painful this is and will be for Zack, but she knows it is necessary for both of them to begin healing. And not for the first time, one of Aerith's small regrets surfaced. She wished she could hug Zack and give him her physical comfort when they were alive. But human actions could only come across in thought. So Aerith formed the memory of the time she comforted Zack in her church after the tragic death of his Mentor and father figure, Angeal. And projects it at Zack's retreating form; Zack raised his hand in acknowledgement as he faded into the Lifestream.
Sephiroth meets Zack
As Sephiroth drifted through the Lifestream, he contemplated how he would be able to reclaim the shattered pieces of his past. He let his thoughts expand outside of himself, wondering if there was anyone else here who could help him. Moments later, he feels a presence purposely coming toward him and focusing on this new being. He perceives the image of a young man. Medium build but tall of stature. Black hair and the most vivid blue eyes. He appeared to be more substantial than Sephiroth was but nowhere near as visible as Aerith.
"Your eyes? That's not natural!" Sephiroth blurts out.
Zack was surprised by this. As 'looking' at Sephiroth, even though he appeared to be nothing more than wisps of memory, his eyes were also the vivid green they had been when he had been alive. So Aerith spoke the truth. This man had forgotten much of who he had been. Crossing his arms in front of himself, he replies. "Eyes infused with Mako! The mark of a SOLDIER!" Relaxing his stance, he continues. "So, Aerith speaks the truth. You do still exist. I am impressed."
There was something very familiar about this man. And the comment 'The mark of a SOLDIER' resonated deeply inside Sephiroth. But he replied to the last statement. "Don't be!" Shame welling up from the depths of his being. "From what I can remember, there is nothing I have done to be impressed with!"
Hearing the uncertainty in Sephiroth's voice, Zack realizes that Sephiroth was no longer gripped by the madness that had possessed him for so many years. And even though he lacked the confidence he once had. Sephiroth seemed more like the man that Zack had known before Niblehiem. So that decided Zack; Even though he was no longer living, he WAS still a SOLDIER! And here was a comrade who desperately needed his help. And maybe, this time, Zack would be able to make a difference. So he asks. "How can I help you!"
Hearing the honesty in this simple statement, the shame inside of Sephiroth begins to lessen. "Who are you? And How do we know each other?" He simply asked.
Assuming his normal cocky stance and mannerism, Zack states. "SOLDIER 1st class; Zack Faire. Formally of Gongaga. And you are SOLDIER 1st class; Sephiroth. You grew up in Shin-Ra." Putting his head down, letting his memories of the past surface. "Angeal Hewley was also SOLDIER 1st class, my mentor and friend." Zack paused, sadness thickening his voice. "And one of two people who were your closest friends. The other was Genesis Rhapsodos, also 1st. Class. After they had gone M.I.A., You and I teamed up on a few missions." Looking directly into Sephiroth's eyes, Zack let all the pain, anger and betrayal show! "You were the person everyone looked up to! The one I looked up to. I respected and admired you tremendously. You were the reason why I and many others joined the army!
Sephiroth let these words penetrate the void of his past as the pain in this young man's voice cut him deeply. A tiny spark of memory floated up. He had fought this man. But just as quickly as it came, it slipped away. Frustrated by this, Sephiroth snarls so viciously that he startles Zack into taking a defensive posture. Realizing his mistake, Sephiroth quickly states, "I'm sorry. Please, forgive me; this is all so very difficult. The memories seem to be there, but before I can do more than acknowledge them, they seem to disappear." Looking at Zack, he questions him. "We ended up fighting each other?"
"YES!"
"And as I had done to Aerith, I took your life!?"
"No!"
Sephiroth was even more confused because he remembered striking this man with his sword. Sending him flying through the air and Zack landing on the metal stairs in the next room, unmoving. "I don't understand!"
Sighing, Zack begins to recount the mission to Niblehiem and Mt. Nible and how they had discovered Professor Hojo's experiments on human specimens. The moment Genesis showed up and revealed his knowledge and beliefs about the Jenova Project, Which seemed to be the catalyst that had sent Sephiroth spiralling into madness. He told him of how both he and his friend Cloud had fought him and defeated him, but because of the injuries they had both sustained, they had become specimens of Professor Hojo. When waking up four years later, he with Cloud escaped from the Mansion, fleeing the army, defeating Genesis and then the final battle he had with the Shin-Ra army. For some reason, Zack felt that mentioning SOLDIER 2nd. Class Emily or Lucia would not be a wise idea, so he kept those thoughts to himself.
This young man's story seemed to be written out of legend; it still rang with an essence of truth and brought vague memories into sharp focus, evoking a deep rage inside of Sephiroth. And Zack could sense that Sephiroth was angry, very angry. But it felt more like righteous anger, not one fueled by madness. Puzzled by this, Zack asks. "Why are you so angry?"
Looking at Zack, Sephiroth truly sees the willing sacrifice this man had made, so he replies, "Because I believe I remember that day! You and I had been examining the Mako pods. There had been one that had a broken valve and was leaking high amounts of Mako. I had asked you to shut it off. During our conversation, I had got this searing pain in my head. It felt like something lying dormant awoke and tried to take over." Sephiroth fell silent for a moment as he let the rest of the memory catch up. "And then, Genesis had shown up. He had been my friend, and I remember I had been trying to protect him, to find a way to help him. But those words he had spoken that day felt like daggers being driven into my heart. That he, Angeal and I were Monsters created by Shin-Ra."
"I do not remember much after that, only that I had this driving need to prove Genesis wrong! But I guess, in the end, I only ended up proving him right." A profound sadness coloured his voice. "You said there was another man, Cloud? And that it was he who had defeated me! But I believe that wasn't the end to this tale?"
Zack grimaced at that statement. "No, it isn't, but the rest is for you to discover and others to tell!"
Nodding in acceptance, Sephiroth replies. "So now I have a starting point. Thank you!"
Satisfied with this, Zack states. "I have to go now, but Sephiroth, as you search for the truth, please remember. Sometimes, even the best intentions end up causing harm, and the ones responsible for this tragedy no longer live. However, those who have inherited this sad legacy have done and continue to do much to affect change!"
As Zack turns to leave, Sephiroth hears his parting words. "Embrace your Dreams. And no matter what happens, Protect your honour as SOLDIER!" With those words, Zack's tiny 'spark' attaches itself to Sephiroth, adding another layer of Substance to him.
Oddly comforted by this mans parting words, he lets himself drift aimlessly. Pondering what he had learned.
Zack and Aerith
The pair drifted through the currents of the Lifestream, not saying a word as none were needed. They both knew the other too well. Thoughts of being snuggled together were shared between them. But after a time, Zack's restlessness emerged.
"You know more than you a telling me, don't you?" Zack quired softly.
Not ready to break the mood, Aerith just nodded.
Zack, receptive to her, "Well, my Angel, whatever comes, we will face it together!"
Aerith softly smiled.