Chapter 4: Spending Time with Maddy
Walking through the courtyard hand in hand, Meredith would sneak a glance from time to time at the bouncy four-year-old that was taking in the campus with so much wonderment.
Spotting some trees, she led Maddy over to the shade. Dropping down to her knees she laid back against the tree.
"So Maddy let's see what your Daddy packed in this goody bag of yours…"
Maddy dropped down beside Mer and together they rummaged through the girls Hello Kitty backpack.
"Let's see, we have some juice boxes and granola bars…those look yummy." Meredith said to the young girl as she unwrapped a bar and handed it to her.
Maddy tore into the granola bar, feeling the hunger she ignored earlier. Spotting her juice box, the girl laid against the tree in heaven with her treats.
"Ahh look here we have a book as well…I'll Love you Forever." Meredith said, pulling the book out of the bag. Opening the pages, she settled back, allowing Maddy to cuddle into her.
As she read through the pages, Meredith could feel herself enjoying the closeness she was experiencing. It was new, allowing someone in like this. She was so used to keeping people at arm's length…but Maddy was so innocent…harmless…Meredith relished in the new friendship she was forming with the young girl.
"I'll love you forever I'll like you for always. As long as I'm living, my baby you'll be…" Meredith finished the last line in the book, rubbing the hair back from Maddy's forehead.
The little girl turned in Meredith's lap, "My Daddy says my Mama use to readed me this book…" Maddy told her, those big blue eyes of hers welling a little with tears.
Meredith could feel her heart breaking…she knew there was a reason Maddy's Mom wasn't in the picture, she just didn't feel right asking…
"Oh honey, I'm sorry your Mommy isn't here to read the story to you anymore…but I'm sure she is always thinking of you. Just like the book says, you'll always be her baby."
Kissing Maddy gently she inhaled deeply as the little arms wrapped themselves around her neck.
"It's ok Merdiff…I don't really member her, but she made Daddy sad. I'm hopin she'll come back and make him better." Maddy told her as she laid her head in the crook of her neck.
Resting against the tree in the busy courtyard, they shut out the noises around them. As Meredith rubbed the small girls back, she could feel Maddy relaxing. Soon enough her breathing was slow, Meredith knew the small girl had fallen asleep.
Lying with her eyes closed, she thought back to her own childhood…the emptiness, the lack of innocence. Her own mother was dedicated to medicine…she had no time to raise a child. Once her father left, she lost everything. At the ripe old age of five Meredith learned to count on no one but herself…nannies raised her, her mother was just an image…a word…
"Meredith Elizabeth Grey, get down here…her voice bellowed from downstairs."
Putting her tea pot back down on the white wicker table, Meredith grabbed her favorite dolly and trudged down the stairs to see what her mother was yelling about."
At only six, she knew that when her mother used her full name it was never good."
Walking into the formal dining room, she found Ellis shuffling through her briefcase. Looking up Ellis had a look of disapproval on her face…a look Meredith was getting use to a little more each day.
"Meredith, were you playing in my things again?"
"Don't lie to me that will only make things worse…" her voice rising, Ellis walked over standing directly in front of the small child.
Seeing the notebook that contained her drawings in her mother's hand, she knew there was no sense in lying…
"Yes Mommy…I'm sorry I just wanted to draw you a picture."
Shaking her head, Ellis tore off the picture of a rainbow crumbling it into a ball and tossing it into the trashcan.
"How many times do I have to tell you, art is for dreamers…you will not be a dreamer, you will be a doer."
"Now, I'm off to the hospital and I won't be home tonight…so make sure you take your bath and go to bed when Rosa tells you." Ellis told her as she grabbed her things.
As Meredith watched her mother walk away, her head dropped…tears formed. She thought of how nice it would be to have a Mommy like Izzie's...they were always baking cookies. Her mommy didn't care when she got messy, and she loved her pictures.
Holding her dolly closer, Meredith walked back upstairs to her room…her space…her land of imagination, where she could pretend everything was normal. She could fantasize of the days her Daddy was still here…and pretend her Mommy didn't hate rainbows.
"Meredith…Meredith…" Somewhere in her dream she could hear Derek's voice. She could hear him calling for her.
As a hand shook her shoulder gently, she opened her eyes. As her emerald pools met his sapphire blues, she couldn't help but think they shared the same sort of pain…the same feeling of loneliness.
Derek looked down at his daughter sleeping so peacefully in this strangers' arms. It pained him that she seeked out love…she would get hurt…but he knew deep down she needed the comfort of a woman.
"She's sleeping…" he whispered to her, knowing it sounded lame, but not sure what to say to the beautiful woman who cradled his child.
"Yeah." her voice still horse with emotion from sleep…and dreams.
They got caught up in the moment. One minute he was watching as Meredith's fingers carelessly played with Maddy's hair, the next his eyes were focused on her lips…
Swallowing Meredith watched his eyes darken…he was going to kiss her…his lips were going to touch hers….
"Daddy?" the groggy voice once again broke the moment.
The little girl shook her head, "you really need to quit staring Daddy. Merdif is gonna think your rude."
Wiggling out of Meredith's lap, Maddy jumped up and hugged her Daddy.
"Daddy Merdif and me, had snacks and read I'll love you forever. She's real good at reading Daddy. She didn't even try to skip the words like you do."
Shaking his head at his daughter, Derek once again turned his attention back to Meredith, "thanks it means a lot…and she really needed the one-on-one time. I've just been so busy…with my nanny quitting and all."
Smiling she just shook her head "not a problem…we had fun huh, Maddy?"
Shaking her head zealously the little girl shook her head "Daddy why can't Merdif be my nanny…why can't she live with us?"
Eyes wide in shock Meredith stared at the two before her…this wasn't happening…
Derek turned from his daughter to his student…Meredith…his nanny…now that could be dangerous territory. For his daughter, he was willing to cross any uncharted paths he might meet!