Chapter 9: Falling for Him
"So, how is married life?" Cristina asked as she joined Meredith in the seat next to her.
"Shut up Cristina…don't start." Meredith said as she glared at her.
"Seriously, Cristina leave her alone, I think it's cute." Izzie dropped into her seat, taking a chunk out of an apple.
Meredith rolled her eyes; she wasn't going to deal with them. She was going to focus on getting back on track and moving ahead to clericals. Not worry about dumb and dumber.
"So, have you guys put any thought into where you're going to do your internships?" Izzie pried, hoping to get a clue on their plans.
"Now, why would I tell you that?" Cristina spat out, shooting Izzie a look like she just sprouted horns.
"Not that I consider you competition Barbie…but why add more cookies to the jar when it's already full."
Rolling their eyes, Izzie and Meredith turned to face the front of the class as their professor started his lecture.
Class sped by and soon they were walking through the sunset covered courtyard.
"Well, I should get going…" Meredith told her friends, sifting through her purse for her keys. "I'm not sure if Derek is working at the hospital tonight, so I don't want to be late."
Cristina rolled her eyes, muttering something about "ball and chain," while Izzie floated around on some cloud of laughing gas that had left a permanent smile on her face.
Meredith shook her head once again and headed in the direction of her jeep. Why should I care if they got it or not…I know what I am was doing. I am a big girl, and I'm taking care of myself.
Her ride home was a short one. Barely giving her time to ponder what she would say to him when she walked in. Should I strike up some conversation? Just walk in and go to bed…or maybe join him for a glass of wine and some…wait no porny thoughts. Somehow porny thoughts were trying to work their way in again. Pulling into the long driveway she parked her jeep next to his Land Rover.
She sat there for a moment, mustering up the courage to go in, hoping maybe Maddy was still awake.
Derek heard her new key turning in the lock. Pretending to be engrossed in the papers in front of him, he could feel his pulse quicken just from the thought of her returning home.
It was comforting almost, knowing he wasn't going to be alone. It had been so long since he had some sort of companionship, someone to come home to…someone to just share the evening with. He needed to remember though that she wasn't here for him, she was here for Maddy. As good as it might feel in this split second to hear her key, knowing she would walk in at any second…he needed to let that feeling go.
Outside, thousands of emotions and feelings were reeling through Meredith's head, causing her to ache. She went so long without a family that today it felt good to pretend she had one. Maddy was wonderful so full of life…so like herself. Now as she opened the front door, she couldn't help but wish for a split second that once again she could pretend…pretend he was hers.
Derek could hear her drop her bag on the entry table, his breath catching with each step she took. He picked up on her hesitation as her steps slowed. The direction turning towards the stairs.
Closing his eyes for a brief second, he felt saddened at the thought of her turning in without at least saying good night. That thought left quickly though as he heard her steps stop, turning back as he walked back towards the living room.
"Hey…" her voice was a whisper so unsure.
Cocking his head, he stared for a brief second, she really was stunning…so young and so free from the baggage he carried "hi."
The way he cocked his head, the blues of his eyes, his voice…they all just pulled her in. Causing her to want something too far out of reach…she was to scary and damaged for him…for this family.
Suddenly, he was standing, walking towards her. Her breath catching in her throat as he was suddenly in front of her…so close.
Squinting for a brief second, he focused on her lips, on the way her hair fell on her shoulders…that lavender scent….
Breathing in, he wanted to consume her, he wanted to say porny things…but all he could say was, "I saved you dinner…come on and I'll heat it up for you."
Watching him walk away, she closed her eyes, feeling tears, because she knew they were right…she was falling for him. It was something that just could never be. She would never trust anyone enough to hurt her again…and she was too cold inside to offer them what they deserved.