Rafael stood by a window in the waiting room and stared out over the bustling city. A brilliant sunset was blooming over the skyline, but he couldn't appreciate it. He was physically there, but mentally he was down the hall in the operating room with Sonny.

The nurses couldn't tell him anything. All they could say was he was still in surgery, and they would let him know as soon as they had news. For the dozenth time that day, he sent up a prayer of gratitude that Sonny had long ago listed him as emergency contact so the nurses and doctors could talk to him at all. Rafael closed his eyes and blew out a calming breath, silently willing the nurses to come in and give him news – any news.

"Hey, I brought you some coffee."

He turned towards Amanda as she came up beside him and handed him a cup. "Are you sure that's actually coffee?" he asked with a smirk.

She peered into her own. "It looks…slightly better than the stuff we have down at the precinct." She took a tentative sip and glanced over her shoulder. "Still nothing?"

"No, but they said it could be hours." He sighed and rested his head against the window frame. "How did this happen, Rollins?"

"It was so fast, I'm still not a hundred percent sure how she got the gun in the first place." She took another sip and grimaced. "I take it back. This is worse than we have at the precinct." She set the cup aside. "She was a terrified and unstable kid, Barba, who had no idea what she was doing when she grabbed that gun. She didn't even intentionally pull the trigger. She was startled and it went off."

"Will she be charged?"

"I haven't heard, but most likely." Rollins studied him. "I thought you were all about a proper defense and defendant's rights now?"

He pinned her with a stony look. "It's a little difficult for me to be sympathetic to her, scared kid or not, with Sonny currently in surgery," he spat darkly.

"Rafael."

Both Barba and Rollins turned towards the door, and Serafina Carisi blew into the room with Dominick Senior on her heels. Despite the situation, he smiled when he was swept into her embrace. "Have you heard anything? Is Dominick okay?"

"He's still in surgery." Rafael squeezed her and then pulled back to look at her. "They said they would let me know as soon as there are updates, but…"

"You saw him before he went in?" Dominick asked. "How was he?"

"Unconscious by the time we got here," Rafael replied. "He, um…I saw him when they brought him out of the courthouse. He was…really pale, and…" He fought for control, and felt Amanda's reassuring hand on his shoulder.

"I'm Detective Rollins," she introduced herself. "I was with him in the courtroom."

"His old partner," Serafina said, smiling waveringly. "He's told us a lot about you."

"He was still conscious for quite a while in the courtroom," Amanda went on. "He was lucid, but I think he was going into shock." She squeezed Rafael's arm. "That may have been why he lost consciousness. He was shot in the shoulder, which didn't look bad." She hesitated. "And the second bullet caught him in the side. That looked a little worse."

Dominick swore under his breath and sounded so achingly like his son that Rafael had to turn away.

"Nonna!"

Sonny's sisters, Teresa and Bella, rushed towards them accompanied by Teresa's grown daughter, Mia. The youngest of the three threw her arms around Serafina, who returned the hug gratefully.

"Rafael," Bella hugged him tightly. "You okay? You need anything?"

"I could ask you the same," he said. "I'm…" He trailed off and glanced helplessly down the hall.

She smiled, though it didn't quite meet her eyes. "When he was twelve, Sonny crashed his bike, landed headfirst on the neighbor's sidewalk, got right back up, and kept riding. My brother is strong. And he's a fighter." The smile widened. "And if he's not okay I'll kick his ass."

Rafael let out a watery laugh. "I think the only women in the world he's afraid of are the three of you."

"As it should be," Teresa interjected, smiling.

"I'm going to go check in with Benson," Amanda said, squeezing Barba's arm. "Do you guys need anything?"

"I think we're okay, Amanda," Serafina said. "If we get any news, we'll come get you."

It felt like hours had passed, but when Rafael next checked his watch, it had only been thirty minutes. He now sat in possibly the most uncomfortable chair he had ever encountered in his life. He had his elbows on his knees and his hands on the back of his neck, staring at the floor and listening for any sound of the approach of nurse's shoes.

He felt someone sit down next to him, but didn't look up. "How are you hanging in, Rafael?" Dominick Senior asked quietly.

The two of them had never spoken one-on-one in all the time Rafael had known the Carisis. Though his sisters and mother had accepted Barba as part of Sonny's life readily enough, Dominick held back just a little. He was warm and welcoming, but had seemed a little taken aback the first time Sonny had introduced him as his partner. Rafael supposed he had picked up on the surprise, and had kept himself at a distance.

But if he stopped to really examine it, fathers in general were challenging for Rafael. His own father had been difficult on his best day, and abusive every other day of the week. It was entirely possible the problem had been him and not Dominick.

"I'm…here," he finally replied. He looked up, and though he kept his elbows on the knees, dropped his hands between his legs. "I would pay just about any amount of money right now for news." He sighed and bit his lip. "Any news."

To his surprise, Dominick reached over and clapped him on the shoulder. "Like Bella said, Sonny is a fighter."

"He is," Rafael agreed, and smiled softly. "He is one of the most difficult pains in the ass I have ever gone up against in the courtroom. If anyone can come back from this, it's him."

Silence fell between them for several minutes. "When you have kids," Dominick began, "you start to form ideas as they grow up about what their lives might be like when they are adults." He smiled and shook his head. "Rafael, I never saw you coming. I had Sonny pegged for a blue-collar job with a wife and a passel of kids, a lot like me." The smile widened, a proud gleam in the older man's eyes. "And look at him. He's a lawyer at the Manhattan ADA's office. And he's happy."

"Mr. Carisi—"

"Dominick."

He flushed slightly. His use of Sonny's given name was most often reserved for more tender moments, so that would take some getting used to. "Dominick," he managed, "I want you to know that I love your son more than anything."

"Anyone with eyes can see that."

"I keep hearing that," he continued. "I'll be honest, I don't have the easiest time expressing my own emotions, and when I'm feeling…vulnerable I tend become an asshole to cover it up." Rafael looked up at him. "For some reason, Sonny finds it charming. I'm not exactly sure why."

Dominick nodded thoughtfully. "He's always known his own mind."

"It occurs to me," Rafael went on, "that I may have been prickly with you at times. If I have been, I'm sorry. Fathers…are difficult for me."

"You don't have good relationship with your old man?"

"He died several years ago," Rafael said flatly.

"I'm sorry."

"Oh, I'm not." Rafael snorted. "He was an asshole." He looked at Dominick. "I'm glad Sonny has a good father."

Smiling, Dominick put an arm around his shoulder. "And I'm glad he has you."

"Mr. Barba?"

Both men's attention snapped up and focused on a petite woman in scrubs and a surgical cap. "I'm Mr. Barba," Rafael said, standing and quickly crossing the room to her. "You are—"

"Dr. Pennington," she said, her tone gentle and soothing. "I've been the surgeon operating on Mr. Carisi."

Serafina and Dominick flanked him, the older man's hand reassuringly on his shoulder. "These are his parents," Barba explained. "How is he? Is Sonny okay?"

"It was touch and go for a while," Dr. Pennington said. "The shot in his side nicked his spleen and caused a bleed. We had to take it out."

"Okay," Barba nodded, encouraging her to go on.

"The shot in is shoulder tore some tendons, but those should be easily rehabilitated with some PT," she went on. "My biggest concern is that he lost a lot of blood. We're giving him some units now, and that should stabilize him." She hesitated. "He had a delay in getting care, so there is the potential of an opportunistic infection setting in. We've started him on some antibiotics as a precaution." She looked at each of the three of them in turn. "The next forty-eight hours will be critical. As long as we can avoid infection and keep him stable until then, I feel like he'll make a full recovery."

Rafael closed his eyes, knees weak. "Gracias a Dios," he murmured on a breath of relief. "Can we see him?"

"We're getting him settled into a room in the ICU, and then two at a time," Dr. Pennington replied. "He's still sedated, and we'll keep him that way for a while longer. The best thing for him is rest."

"Absolutely," Serafina agreed, wrapping a comforting arm around Rafael's back. "You do whatever he needs."

The doctor smiled. "I'll have one of the nurses come get you when he's settled."

Fifteen minutes later, Rafael and Serafina slipped into the silent room in the ICU. Barba inhaled sharply at the sight of Sonny, still and quiet in the bed. He had an oxygen mask over his face, and Barba was silently relieved he wasn't intubated. His pale skin was almost the same stark white of the pillowcase beneath his head. One side of his hospital gown was undone, exposing a neatly bandaged shoulder and abdomen.

He wanted so much to pull Sonny into his arms and hold him, reassuring himself that Sonny was alive. On the same token, his partner looked so still and fragile he was almost afraid to touch him for fear he would hurt him. Gently, he stroked a finger along Sonny's jawline. "Oh, mi vida," he murmured.

"What does that mean?" Serafina softly asked.

Rafael blushed and looked down. "My life," he replied, refusing to meet her eyes.

"Don't be embarrassed, Rafael," she said, gently. "You don't know how much it makes a mother happy to know that her child is so deeply loved."

They both pulled up a chair next to the bed and settled in to sit vigil beside Sonny. "You don't have to stay," Rafael said quietly. "I can call you when he wakes up. Go get some rest and something to eat…"

Serafina pinned him with a withering look. "Do you really think I would be able to leave knowing he's lying here? Forty or no, he's still my kid." She shook her head and gazed up at her son's face. "I never could leave any of my kids when they were sick or hurt. I'll stay."

Despite himself, Rafael smiled slightly as he pictured what Lucia Barba would be doing if he were the one in the bed. "You know, you are really not that different from my own mother."

"Does she overfeed you and the rest of the neighborhood, too?"

"No," Rafael replied, grinning. "But she's pretty protective of me." He glanced over at his partner. "And, by extension, of Sonny. I had to do some fast talking to convince her not to come down here this evening."

"Tell her to come on down," Serafina said on a sigh. "The more the merrier. It's going to be a long night."

"Hey, Captain," Rollins said as she entered Olivia's office.

"Hey," Benson looked up from a report. "How's Carisi?"

"I just talked to Barba," Rollins glanced at her phone. "He's still in surgery. He'll let us know as soon as they know something."

They stared at each other for a moment, neither of them willing to voice that they were both thinking about their colleague, Mike Dodds, and how quickly his life had been snuffed out.

"We're getting ready to interview Gilbert," Olivia said. "She's eighteen and the DA wants to charge her as an adult."

"She's just a kid, Liv," Amanda protested.

"In the eyes of the law, she's an adult," Olivia retorted. "And she just shot an ADA. Look, this comes from the top. Not Maxwell, but McCoy. He's not taking it lightly that she shot one of his attorneys, even if it was an accident." Olivia put the report in a folder and stood. "And let's not ignore the fact that she shot Carisi because she took a firearm from a court officer."

"True, true," Amanda acknowledged. "Who is interviewing her? And how did we end up with this case anyway?"

"Because it was our case to begin with, back when she was first arrested," Olivia explained. "And since Stabler was part of the takedown, he's going to help with interview."

"I can help if you need me to."

"We thought about that, but no. You stay in observation." Amanda fell into step with Olivia, and they strode towards the interview rooms. "She associates you with her original arrest and being locked up in the psychiatric hospital, so having you there may do more harm than good."

Nodding, Amanda stepped up to one-way glass that overlooked the interview room. Stabler approached from the side. "Ready, partner?" he asked with a slight grin.

Liv raised a brow at him and returned the grin. "I outrank you now, Stabler." And they disappeared into the room.

"I wish those two would just give it up and get a room," a voice spoke up behind Amanda. She turned slightly as Fin stepped in next to her to watch.

Amanda grinned. "How many times did someone say that about me and Carisi before he hooked up with Barba?"

"Only a couple," Fin replied mildly. "Those two?" he nodded through the window. "I am amazed they have made it this long without something happening."

Folding her arms over her chest, Amanda leaned against the window frame and watched as Benson and Stabler took a shaken Perry through the events of the day. "I didn't mean to do it!" the girl said. "I just don't want to go back to that place."

"And our ADA is critically injured, and in the hospital," Liv replied. "Right now, Perry, you're being charged with malicious wounding. If anything happens to Mr. Carisi, you could be charged with murder."

"But I didn't mean to shoot it!" Perry looked desperate. "I just wanted to scare everyone so they'd let me go."

"Perry," Stabler began, "I've got kids of my own, one close to your age. And I have told every last one of them that you come to a point where you have to own up to the choices you make and accept the results of those decisions. You chose to take the gun. You didn't mean to shoot it, but it went off. So you have to deal with the consequences of that."

"Can-can you tell Mr. Carisi I'm sorry?" Perry asked.

"If he wakes up, sure," Olivia answered.

"She has been locked up so long she doesn't have any concept of reality," Amanda murmured to Fin.

"It happens when kids are behind bars for a long time, threat to others or no." Fin shook his head. "Separated from the rest of the world, they don't mature the way they should."

Amanda jumped when her phone signaled, and she quickly pulled it out. "Carisi is out of surgery," she said. "He's still sedated, but as long as he stays stable over the next forty-eight hours he should recover."

"That's good news for that little girl," Fin said. "Because not much else is going her way."

It was a long night. Barba did his best to sleep when he could in one of the two chairs, which thankfully reclined just for that purpose. Carisi's parents took turns in the other chair, the two of them also sleeping intermittently as the nurses came in and out of the room at all hours. Around three in the morning, the nurse had quietly informed Rafael that they were tapering down the medication that was keeping Sonny sedated, and so he should start waking up around morning.

Around four he noticed that his partner felt slightly warm, and it nearly set him into a panic. But the nurses had reassured him that a low-grade fever after such a trauma was completely normal, and meant that Sonny's immune system was functioning as it should to fight off any opportunistic bacteria. Still, for the next two hours he quietly watched Carisi's face in the soft light from the hallway for any signs that his condition was deteriorating.

So far, so good.

"Rafael," Dominick Senior said around six. "Are you awake?"

"Yeah." Barba scrubbed his hands over his face tiredly. "Haven't slept much."

"I keep waiting for him to wake up and start complaining," Dominick stood to stretch his back. "He was always miserable when he was sick."

Rafael thought back to the last time Sonny had the flu. "He still is," he confirmed with an affectionate smile. "I assure you."

Dominick chuckled. "Glad some things never change." He plopped back down into the chair and watched his son thoughtfully for several minutes. "I suppose I should do the fatherly thing at some point and ask what your intentions are towards my son."

Barba's face never left his partner's face as he reached into the pocket of the jacket draped over the back of his chair and pulled out a ring box. He casually tossed it to Dominick and offered a wistful smile. "We had dinner reservations last night," he said, simply. "I was going to ask then."

Dominick studied the ring inside and nodded. "He would have said yes, I think." He handed the box across the bed back to Barba. "You'll still get your chance." A slow grin spread over his face. "You planning on kids?"

"The only thing we have decided about that is nothing is off the table." He sighed and pinched his nose. Damn, he was exhausted. "But I'm nearly fifty."

Dominick opened his mouth to say something else, but was interrupted by a soft moan from the bed. Both of their heads shot up and looked at Sonny, who was now shifting restlessly in the bed.

"Dominick?" Barba was instantly on his feet and at the head of the bed. Gently, he took his partner's hand. "Hey, cariño, are you waking up?"

In response, Sonny whimpered and tried to pull the mask from his face.

"Son, don't be pulling that off," his father took his other hand and pulled it away from the mask. "Rafael, you got him? I'll go get the nurse."

"Of course," Rafael said. He smiled when Carisi's eyes opened, and he looked wildly around the room to get his bearings. "Dominick, you in there?"

Sonny peered up at him, blinking. "Rafi?"

"Yeah, it's me." He reached his free hand up and smoothed the hair from Sonny's forehead. "Do you know where you are?"

Sonny nodded slowly. "Hospital." He grimaced and swallowed.

"They had to intubate you for surgery. Your throat will be sore for a couple days." He trailed the back of his fingers down Sonny's cheek. "Do you remember what happened?"

He winced and rested a hand against his chest. "Kind of," he replied. "Perry?"

"In custody," he replied gently. "Benson, Stabler, and Tutuola took her down."

The nurse bustled in, followed by the doctor to check on Sonny. They checked bandages, adjusted pain medication, and assured everyone that so far he was looking good. Barba took the opportunity to send a quick text to Rollins. He smiled at her quick response and moved over to sit on the edge of Sonny's bed when the nurse exited the room.

"Rollins says the girls have already made you about ten get well cards." Rafael paused and studied him. "How do you feel?" he asked quietly as he laced his fingers through Sonny's.

The oxygen mask had been removed, and Rafael was relieved to see a little more color in his partner's cheeks. "Everything hurts," Sonny murmured. His eyes were still glazed from the medication, and beginning to droop. "And fuzzy."

Rafael leaned over and gently kissed his forehead. "Please don't ever scare me like that again, Dominick Carisi," he murmured, lips still resting against his hair.

Sonny gave a weak, brief chuckle. "Don't want to repeat the experience," he mumbled, and sighed drowsily. "Sorry 'bout dinner."

Once again Rafael thought about the small box. He looked down and smiled at Carisi, cupping his cheek gently. "There will be plenty of time to try again."

Having grown up an only child, Rafael was not used to loud, boisterous families. Over the next four days, he and Sonny were never alone. There was a constant stream of cops, attorneys, and Carisis in and out of the hospital room, checking on him and bringing get-well gifts. Rollins brought a veritable art gallery of handmade cards from her girls for their Uncle Sonny. On her daily trek to the hospital, Serafina brought at least one of her only son's favorite foods – cannoli, minestrone soup, lasagna, baked ziti, fresh bread…the list went on and on.

While Sonny was napping, one or both of his parents would inevitably strong-arm Rafael into going home long enough to shower and change, and once even take a nap. He couldn't face climbing into his bed without his partner, so he instead snoozed on the sofa. And two hours later, he was right back at the hospital.

On the fifth day, the doctor deemed Carisi recovered enough to be released. Rafael brought him clean clothes, and his father offered to drive he and Barba home in Sonny's truck. While Rafael would have preferred to bring him home alone, he understood the Carisis' need to see him safe and settled into his own home, and so he accepted the help in getting him home gratefully.

"Now, are you sure you boys don't need anything?" Serafina asked as they entered the apartment.

"Ma, Rafael told you we have groceries being delivered," Sonny replied. He was moving slowly, one hand resting lightly on his sore side. As he eased carefully onto the sofa, he rolled his eyes at his father. "I'm forty and Rafael's nearly fifty, and she's still calling us boys."

"Besides, Serafina," Rafael said, "you brought us enough food for an army."

She waved a dismissive hand at him and reached around her son to reposition a pillow behind him. "What about your medication, Dominick?" she asked. "The prescriptions the doctor called in?"

"Also being delivered," Barba assured her, biting back a grin. "And the hospital sent us home with a couple of doses of each, just in case."

She stepped back and studied her son. "I can stay," she offered. "If you need help, I can stay."

"Ma," Sonny replied gently. "I'm okay. I have a feeling if I try to get up and do anything strenuous, Rafi will duct tape me to the couch."

"I'm not sure that we actually have duct tape—" Rafael began.

"You don't have duct tape?" Dominick interrupted, incredulous. He shook his head. "Sonny, I taught you betta than that."

Rafael was quickly losing the battle against amusement. "I'll use his ties or something to strap him down if he gets too crazy."

Serafina paused and looked around. "I don't think I've been here before," she mused. "It's a nice place." Nodding with satisfaction, she reached over and patted her son's cheek. "I'll be back tomorrow. I'll bring carbonara."

Sonny groaned. "When I go back to work, Rafi's gonna have to roll me out of here in a wheelbarrow."

The Carisi's left in a flurry of activity and discussion, with Barba walking them out. When they finally left the apartment, he leaned against the door and looked over at his partner. "Do you hear that?" he asked.

"What?" Carisi looked puzzled. "I don't hear anything."

"Exactly." With a sigh of relief, Rafael walked over and sank into the cushions of the sofa. "We are home. And we are alone."

Sonny grinned, then shifted and grimaced. "It's been a little chaotic the last few days," he agreed.

"And you need rest and quiet."

They both fell silent for a moment. "Have you heard what happened to Perry Gilbert?" Sonny asked quietly.

Rafael nodded. "She's been charged with malicious wounding. Word is she's going to take a plea and will be remanded back to a psychiatric hospital."

Carisi blew out a breath. "I hate to hear it, even if it's probably where she needs to be."

"Do you need anything?" Rafael asked, reaching over to touch his hand.

"Yeah, I do," Sonny replied. He smiled sheepishly. "Can you get in behind me?"

"Of course."

It took some maneuvering, but eventually Barba settled in to the corner of the sofa with Carisi leaned back against him. "This is so much better than that lousy hospital bed," he said on a sigh of relief.

"At some point I will have to go get the groceries when they're delivered," Rafael pointed out.

Sonny groaned. "We'll cross that bridge when they get here. Just let me sit still for a minute."

They sat together in silence for several minutes, Sonny's head resting back on Rafael's shoulder. Barba tenderly rested his lips against Sonny's temple and ran his fingers through the silvering strands of his hair.

"I'm sorry about dinner," Sonny finally said. "I know you went to a lot of trouble to get reservations."

Rafael closed his eyes and chuckled. "I honestly hadn't even thought about the dinner," he said. "I've had other things on my mind. But, now that you bring it up, there was something I was planning to ask you that night." Carefully, he eased himself out from behind a groaning and protesting Sonny. "I'll be right back."

Rafael disappeared down the hall and came back a few minutes later. He sat at Sonny's feet. "I had an entirely different setting in mind for this, but…" Flushed and not meeting Sonny's confused eyes, he handed him the small box.

Silence hung in the room. "Are you askin'—" Sonny finally inquired.

"I mean, we've been together for a few years," Rafael stammered. "We've lived together for some time. I thought, reasonably—"

"Rafi."

Barba took a deep breath and forced himself to peer up into Sonny's amused, soft eyes. "I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you," he blurted in one long string.

Sonny laughed and tried to move forward to kiss him, but grimaced. "We'll celebrate properly when I'm not recoverin' from having organs removed," he wheezed.

"… Is that a yes?"

"Babe," Sonny said, "you didn't even have to ask." His grin widened. "But next time you want to ask something big, you don't have to wait till I'm on death's door."