All characters from The Vampire Diaries belong to L.J. Smith as well as all characters from Twilight belong to Stephanie Meyer. I own nothing except my version of events.

A/N: This, my dear friends, is a bit emotional. Sorry but it had to be done.

Chapter 11 No Going Back

I was currently on my way to Emily's, she had invited me over to her house today and I couldn't refuse. I'd already said no once and it would be incredibly rude if I refused again. Don't get me wrong it wasn't that I didn't want to get to know her because I really did, but my dad was currently at home and I'd wanted to spend some time with him instead. Though, he'd said not to worry about it because he was going to dinner at Harry's house with Billy, who'd invited them for some beers and his famous fish fry. I never approved of these kinds of dinners they were starting to get old and they really needed to start thinking about their health, they couldn't just eat anything they wanted anymore, but getting them to understand that was practically impossible.

I parked in front of Emily's house, missing my dad and Jacob. I haven't seen Jacob since Sunday and we hadn't texted much either, he was too busy with school and patrols.

I was climbing up the steps when the front door swung open Emily appeared under the doorway with a bright smile on her face. I hope she wasn't always this excited all the time, those kinds of peppy people annoyed me to death.

"Bella! I'm so glad you made it. Come in and make yourself at home." She exclaimed, pulling me into her house before I changed my mind and ran away.

I walked in and hung my coat by the door. I was turning around to face Emily again when I caught movement by the kitchen making me look back. There I saw a young girl probably about my age with really long black hair reaching past her butt, she was really beautiful. I'd never seen her before and I was curious about her sudden appearance.

Emily caught my wandering gaze and smiled. "Oh that's Kim who you haven't met yet. She's with Jared, I invited her over so we could have a little girl's night. We've already started working on dinner so if you want you could just sit with us and chat." She said, swiftly turning and walking towards the kitchen as she waved me in.

I followed behind, I liked Emily a lot but sometimes she seemed a little too intense. I was trying not to judge her yet, I didn't know her well and all she'd ever shown me was kindness. She defended me and protected me when Sam had been initially cautious about me, that meant more to me than anything. I owed her the benefit of the doubt and I promised myself I'd be open, friendly, and putting in the effort to get to know her as well.

As I walked in I smiled at the other girl, introducing myself. "Hi, I'm Bella."

She nodded and smiled "Oh I've heard so much about you already, I couldn't wait to meet you. I'm Kim by the way. I'm disappointed I missed out on all the excitement over the weekend. My family and I had some family visiting and I was busy trying not to escape from my window. It's so awkward hosting people you barely even know for a whole weekend. You know?"

I hummed not really knowing what to say, I couldn't relate. "I wouldn't know. I actually don't have a lot of family." I casually shrugged my shoulders.

"I don't know if what I'm about to say is insensitive or not but you're lucky. We have too much family and too much contact with them all the time. It almost feels like we don't have enough time for just our family, if that makes any sense."

"It makes sense and it's a little insensitive too, now move along Kim." Emily said waving her hands in a shooing motion towards Kim. I tried not to laugh but it was hard not to as I saw Kim pout, returning to her task.

"Forgive her, sometimes she's too direct and doesn't think about what she says… She's funny though." Emily whispered loudly, pretending to say it behind her back.

Kim just laughed, "She's not wrong, it's a real problem. Luckily Jared thinks it's cute and funny. Though I think if I weren't his imprint he wouldn't think it's so cute. Crazy love mojo, I tell you."

That's a new word. "Imprint?" I questioned, "What's that?"

Emily turned to look at me apprehensively, was I not supposed to know about that?

"Jacob didn't talk to you about imprinting?" Emily asked after a beat of awkward silence.

"No, was he supposed to?" I asked tentatively. I had a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach that this wasn't going to be good. Whether it was good or bad I still needed to know and by the looks on both of their faces it was something incredibly important. Now I really needed to know and they were going to tell me… voluntarily or by force.

Emily was looking uncomfortable, not wanting to divulge the information. She must have known it was too late though, there was no other choice now. "Uhhh, not really... I think we should wait and let Jacob explain it to you better."

Oh hell no, I shook my head denying her suggestion. There was no way she was getting out of this. "I don't think so, you guys mentioned it so now you have to tell me and by the looks on your faces it's something really important. So spill."

Emily gave me a dubious look and turned to Kim for guidance. I thought she was Mrs. Alpha, shouldn't she decide on her own?

Kim on the other hand rolled her eyes, getting past how dramatic Emily was being. "Oh don't frown so much Emily, you'll get wrinkles. Bella should know what imprinting is and if that idiot Jacob hasn't told her about it, then someone should." By the end she was frowning, almost looking angry on my behalf.

Emily still looked unsure but didn't stop her when Kim continued speaking.

"I probably won't be good at explaining it well since I haven't been an imprint for as long as Emily has, some days I still find myself trying to figure it out… Imprinting is basically when a wolf finds their soulmate. It's this instant love and attraction they feel, they're entire world suddenly becomes them. Once they find that person that's it. They will never mate with anyone else."

Soulmate? Mate? What?!... She's shitting me right? Soulmates are real? Does that mean I'm Jacob's?... No I can't be. If I were he would've told me from the beginning and he definitely wouldn't be hiding it from me now. Jacob's soulmate is probably still out there waiting for him and what if he finds her while he's still with me? He'll just drop me for some other girl? I mean, I wasn't planning on being with him forever but finding out that Jacob wasn't meant for me and in reality meant for someone else… it changes things.

I felt blindsided by this information, it was given to me by a person I barely even knew and another I had just met. I had come over to Emily's house for a nice friendly dinner and pleasant conversation and instead, here I am, questioning my relationship. Something I definitely did not expect to be doing at the moment and it was all Jacob's fault. He was keeping things from me. The truth wasn't supposed to come from them, it was supposed to come from Jacob.

Granted, I almost forced them to tell me but that's not the fucking point right now. I was still hurt from our issues earlier and I couldn't help but let it come out now too. We'd talked about our relationship on Sunday too, his idea as a matter of fact. I was willing to just get over it eventually but he could read me like a book sometimes. He knew I still wasn't completely ok so he almost forced me to admit what I was feeling. My trust was wavering in more ways than one, I was happy to have him back and that we'd hashed out the important stuff but I was still unsettled by the whole thing. I told him I wanted to trust him like I used to and he said he would do anything to earn it back... How exactly did he plan on doing that when he was currently hiding something huge like this from me? He had to have known how this would affect me.

It was even more disappointing to see that once again he didn't think about my feelings, he was setting me up for heartbreak and he didn't even care. If he found his imprint, I'd understand that he'd leave me, I wasn't stupid. I would never expect him to choose me over his soulmate… that didn't mean that it wouldn't hurt like hell. It had the potential to destroy me and yet he felt like I didn't have the right to know. To make the decisions for me, depriving me of the right to choose whether I wanted to continue this relationship or not, it wasn't his sole decision to make. It was not ok...

What the fuck! That shit is important, why wouldn't he tell me?!

I think Emily saw the anger in my face because she grabbed my arm successfully catching my attention again. "Bella don't be upset, he probably didn't tell you because he hasn't had time. I know he's been really busy and he's barely seen you. He also probably thought it wasn't important because it probably wouldn't happen. Our legends say it's rare and it still is, I mean only 2 out of the 5 wolves have imprinted. So it might not happen to…"

I couldn't let her finish, she was throwing percentages at me and that didn't make it any better. "That's not reassuring Emily! That's almost 50%... Two out of five?! What is that like…?" I was trying to figure out the math but with everything going on in my head I was coming up empty.

Luckily Kim finished for me, "40%"

"Yeah! 40%! That's high Emily and he had the whole weekend to tell me and he didn't!" I got up and started walking towards the door, I needed to talk to him. Now.

"Where are you going?" Emily asked frantically.

But I didn't answer, I reached into my pocket and grabbed my phone. I dialed his number, waiting for him to respond but it sent me straight to voicemail. I called him two more times with the same result. So I resorted to texting him hoping he'd get the message soon.

Get to Emily's. Now. I wrote and quickly sent, throwing my phone on the couch in frustration.

I should've gone home instead but I couldn't, I couldn't go when there were no wolves available to watch over me. Since my dad and I were currently in La Push the guys had a break from wolf watch. I might be mad but I wasn't stupid or disrespectful and taking away the guy's free time would be incredibly inconsiderate. They've already done so much for me already and I couldn't throw it back in their face like that. So instead, I sat on the sofa with my arms crossed trying to think of what else I could do. I was stuck here in the meantime and I didn't want to have this talk in front of prying eyes but at this point I knew there was no other way. I needed answers and I needed them now.

I felt so on edge, my still injured leg bouncing up and down with the adrenaline coursing through me. I knew I'd suffer the consequences later but I couldn't find the will to care. I also couldn't find the will to wait for him to get the message either, I had to find a way to get in contact with… The wolves!

Yes, I was a genius, the wolves could contact him with their minds, right?

I snatched my phone off of the couch and unlocked it to call Quil, as soon as he answered I cut him off. I didn't have time for his joking nature today.

"You with Jacob?"

"Uh no, why?" He questioned.

"I need to speak with him now. Use your wolfy powers and find him." I said sternly.

"Oh ohhhh, someone's in troub…"

I cut him off, I didn't have the patience for this. "Now Quil!" I yelled as I hung up on him, not waiting for a response. I wasn't lying, my patience was running very low. I closed my eyes in an attempt to settle myself down but I couldn't sit here any longer, my mind was all over the place and so were my emotions. I walked out the back door needing to move and began to pace, it was the closest to the forest as I could get and when he got here I figured he'd probably appear here.

Not 5 minutes later I heard a rustling in the trees. I started walking towards it and saw Jacob jogging out of it, buttoning his shorts up.

"Babe, what's wr…"

"You didn't think it'd be a good idea to let me know about imprinting?" I cut him off, asking in a quiet but deadly tone.

It was almost comical watching his eyes widen. He stopped moving abruptly, so abruptly he almost tripped over his own two feet. "How did you…"

"Doesn't matter. What I'm more interested to know is why you didn't think to tell me."

"I didn't think it was that important, I would've told you eventually but it's not like it's gonna happen to me anyway so what's the point?" He said it in a dismissive manner. "Besides, we had just gotten back together and I didn't want to ruin it."

Oh hell no, he had to be fucking with me. He didn't want to fight so he didn't bother to tell me? "So you decided that hiding it from me was better than telling me the truth?!" I waited for a response but he remained quiet, not knowing what to say. "You don't get to decide what's important for me to know!" I exclaimed furiously. "We talked about this Jacob. You said you would communicate with me about important things, things involving our relationship."

"It has nothing to do with our relationship because it's never going to happen!" He exclaimed frantically. "You're the only one Bella!"

He cannot be serious right now. I was having a hard time containing my anger. "You don't know that, Jacob! It could happen! … And then, what about me? Have you ever thought about what that would do to me? How that would hurt me?" I asked incredulously. "Do you not care about my feelings?... Again? Do you not understand how this could affect me if this happened to you?" I screamed. I was shaking all over, I was thankful I wasn't Quileute or I'd be transforming into a wolf right now.

"No Bella, that's not true. I do care. I just don't see the point in telling you about something that probably won't happen." He pleaded.

Can he not hear himself right now?

"So now you went from 'never happening' to 'probably won't happen'... You cannot be fucking serious right now Jacob!" How did he not understand, was he this oblivious?

"It won't happen Bella. I love you and only you and there's nothing a damn legend could do to change that!" He yelled as he grabbed onto his head. "I have a choice and I choose you! I love you and I need you. There will never be anyone else but you!" He said fiercely as he moved a couple of steps forward, wanting to reach for me but too scared to do so.

I froze, realizing he wasn't being obtuse about the situation, not at all.

He was scared. He was scared to imprint on a complete stranger and he was trying to convince himself that it would never happen him... and that was more frightening than anything else. He had no control of whether it did or didn't happen, and he also knew that if it did happen he wouldn't be able to stop it. It would consume his entire being, his feelings for me would pale in comparison. I mean, he's seen it in Sam and Jared's head, right? He must know what it feels like.

I calmed down instantly after that, my anger deflating completely, I couldn't be angry with him anymore. It was impossible to be angry with him when he was just as scared of it as I was, more so than I actually, he'd be the own left without a choice yet again. He wouldn't have the right to pick who he wanted to be with, it was like another choice was being ripped away from him again.

It didn't seem fair but if I was being completely honest I also didn't think it'd be bad either. Jared and Sam seemed happy, eventually Jacob would find someone who'd make him happier than I ever could. It hurt, but I also wanted him to be incredibly happy, he deserved nothing less. Our relationship was doomed from the beginning. There was no us, not in the end. I know I said I wasn't planning on being with him forever, and I wasn't, but one thing was not knowing where our relationship was going but a whole other thing to know for certain that it would never go anywhere... I had to let him go.

Jacob must have seen the acceptance on my face because he quickly walked up to me, cupping my face with his hands. "Don't Bella." He said, looking fearfully into my eyes. "Don't end it for something we don't know… please." His voice broke at the end, putting his forehead against mine. I closed my eyes to block out his pain, I couldn't see him cry not while I was feeling like this.

"Jacob, we…"

"No. Don't say anything right now." He said, cutting me off before I could say anything. "I know this is confusing. This wolf shit is a lot, I get it, but please don't make any decisions without thinking it through first. I'll give you space if that's what you want, I'll give you anything you want. Just don't say it… Please, don't say it." He begged me. It broke me to see him this way, I didn't want to see him in pain so I did what he asked.

I didn't say anything. He was right, I did need the space but I also knew my decision was already made. In the end, the outcome would be the same. No amount of time would ever change that. So instead of reassuring him like I could have, I remained silent, hugging him into me. I squeezed him for all I was worth. It felt like I was losing him and I was terrified. He was my best friend too, even if we weren't together I still wanted him in my life but after this, I had a feeling Jacob wouldn't feel the same way. If he loved me the way he said he did, I don't think he'd be able to go back to just being friends... maybe not until he found his imprint.

His imprint, knowing there was someone out there waiting for him to find her was so… I didn't even know how to explain it. It hurt me more than I could've imagined, I just hoped I'd have enough time to fully accept it when he did find her... but let's face it, I had the worst fucking luck ever. He'd probably find his imprint tomorrow.

He kept whispering something in my ear but I was so lost in my own thoughts that I hadn't heard him until then. I paid closer attention to what he was saying and I heard "Only you Bella" being whispered in my ear, over and over again. I couldn't handle it anymore, he couldn't say that to me, not when we both knew it was a lie.

I released him, pushing away from him in the process. He looked into my eyes with the most heartbroken expression I had ever seen. I opened my mouth to say something… to say anything, but he stopped me with his lips. Forcefully pressing them onto mine, coaxing me to respond. I kissed him as forcefully as he was, knowing it would be our last. His tongue forcefully entering my mouth and I let it. It was the most passionate kiss we had ever had, and in that moment, I knew he realized it was over too. But I also knew he wasn't ready to let me go yet, no matter how much he knew he had to.

He squeezed my body close to his and then stood up straight, lifting me up in the air. I immediately wrapped my legs around his waist and devoured his mouth completely. I didn't want this kiss to ever end. I didn't want to say goodbye, no matter how much I knew I needed to. I felt his hands roaming all over my face and body, as if he were trying to memorize every single part of me.

Unfortunately, I needed to breathe, releasing his mouth I started leaning away but he squeezed me closer and began lightly kissing me all over my face. He placed a last kiss gentle onto my lips as he finally set me back down on my feet and stepped away. "You can have all the time you need, I'll be here waiting." He said as he began to walk backwards towards the forest. "I love you Bella." He said quietly as I stared on after him, he hesitated, waiting for me to say something back but I said nothing. There was nothing left for me to say, at least not for now.

He quickly turned and ran into the trees, almost too fast for me to see.

I stood where I was, silent tears running down my cheeks. I hated crying in front of others, I didn't know if Kim or Emily were watching but I had a sinking feeling there was a wolf or two hanging around in the forest. I quickly wiped my tears and shook it off. I could cry when I got home, right now I was at someone else's house and I needed to keep it together. I walked back to Emily's house and they were waiting for me on the couch, leaving a space in between them. Emily patted the empty seat and I walked over, plopping myself down on the sofa.

They didn't say a word, instead, they each held one of my hands giving me their silent support. Our night was not supposed to be spent like this. They barely even knew me and yet here they were, being incredibly kind and understanding. That fact alone made me even more emotional making my body start to shake, I was trying to contain my emotions but I wasn't being very successful. Emily had to almost forcefully lean my head down onto her shoulder, forcing me to finally break down. I hated being this weak but it hurt more than Edward's breakup could ever have. I didn't want to admit it but I knew I had fallen in love with Jacob a long time ago and I'd just been too afraid to say it aloud. Of course the couple of weeks he had abandoned me had chipped away at it but it didn't mean I didn't love him still. We barely had a day to reconnect and now here we were… again.

Worst part was I knew there was no going back on this one. This was it. I had to tell him it was over eventually. He knew it was as well but he wasn't ready to hear it, at least not today. Maybe if I gave him some time he'd come to accept it as well but for now... he wasn't ready and I needed the time to settle my own heart. For now, I didn't bother to think about our next encounter, I knew it would hurt like hell but I didn't have the capacity to worry about it at the moment.

Emily suggested I sleep over in their spare bedroom and so I did. I didn't want Charlie to see me, he'd know immediately something was wrong and I wasn't ready to face him. Even when I called him to let him know I was sleeping over at Emily's, he sounded concerned. I don't know if he had a sixth sense about these things or if he'd heard it in my voice but I tried to reassure him. Blaming it on a night of karaoke, just in case it was my raspy voice that tipped him off. He wasn't happy I was doing it on a school night but I told him Emily would let me borrow clothes and I'd leave straight for school the next day. I went straight to bed after speaking to Charlie desperately wanting this day to be over already.

Fuck, I really hated this day.