chapter 1: doc, there's a hole where something was
note: very late, but still inspired by fairy tail rarepair week 2022 day 5's prompt: wish. title (and all chapter titles) pulled from disloyal order of water buffaloes by fall out boy.
…
Minerva's room was the same as she had left it. Sting and Rogue left all her finery up to collect dust. They had likely considered not touching her room a form of respect. She didn't know how to feel about that. She was a different person from then, but also the same.
"Is everything alright, My Lady?" Minerva turned and there stood Yukino, dressed all in white. The white: it blinded against the deep purples and gold of her room. That's the thing with celestial spirit mages – they shone. And while beforehand she could simply say it was a trick of the light, now, with the demon still stirring inside Minerva, it knew how different celestial spirits felt. It did not itch the way it had in Silver's (and now, Gray's) presence, but it could feel that light.
Minerva realized that she had not spoken. If she were anyone but her father's daughter, she would blush. Instead, she said: "What are you here for?"
The soft-spoken mage did not flinch. She'd gained more confidence in Minerva's time away. "Sting and Rogue have files they wanted you to look over. There's some discrepancies and they thought you might be able to help them figure it out."
"Are these discrepancies from my father's time?"
Yukino nodded. She was beautiful. How dare Sting send someone so beautiful to face her in her ugliness? How dare he, especially when he needs her to deal with a part of her past that shaped her for worse? She wished Yukino was less beautiful, less bright and white.
"I'll go," Minerva said. She turned her back and pretended to busy herself. "You can leave now."
Yukino's footsteps echoed away. Minerva wondered why she felt a childish urge to watch the spirit mage go.
-o-
Fairy Tail had disbanded, much to Sting's shock. Rogue's too, but the Shadow Dragon hid it much better than his partner. Many of the former Fairy Tail guild members seemed to vanish, although Sting put out a watch for the most important ones, like Titania and his fellow dragon slayers. Minerva didn't bother herself too much with it. She told herself that she didn't care.
(That was a lie and she knew it. Minerva knew it every single time she slipped into Sting's office and checked his reports for Erza Scarlet's whereabouts, every time she caught herself staring at Lucy Heartfilia's magazine spreads.
But why would she lie to herself? Oh right, that new emotion: shame.)
-o-
Much as she'd hoped otherwise, that demon still twisted inside her, a fact which she confirmed over and over with the multitude of missions she took. Sabertooth (and the other powerful guilds) had to pick up the slack from Fairy Tail's disbandment with many of Fairy Tail's missions coming their way. As one of Sabertooth's powerhouses, Sting had asked her if she would be willing to take on more missions than before, especially the more difficult ones, to protect Sabertooth's reputation.
Minerva had acquiesced. It wasn't like she had many social engagements and she preferred to stay busy.
Part of her wished she hadn't though. Missions were easy, but every single time she cast her magic, she split her focus. One part of her focused on casting the spell; the other part of her focused on holding back the curse. She couldn't tell which was worse: sitting still and grappling with her memories or fighting and letting her body struggle with the demon inside her.
And when she finished the mission? When she strode back into town to collect her payment? When she placed that mission paper and proof of completion in front of her client? She saw how they flinched away. How they eyed the exits. How, when she left the building, the townspeople avoided her, crossed the street or hugged their children closer.
When she saw her reflection in the window glass, she looked like herself; but, she remembered her first meeting with Kyoka. She knew that, even if she looked the same as before, people could feel that she wasn't fully right.
-o-
Minerva couldn't sleep. She had always had nightmares, but they had gotten worse. Not only her father haunted her dreams, but now Kyoka, now herself.
Minerva drifted to the guild kitchens. Maybe she'd make Anpan or Yatsuhashi. She craved something sweet.
But when she arrived, someone else was in the kitchen.
"My Lady?" Lector said, peeking his red head through the crack in the door. "Why are you awake?"
"I could say the same to you," Minerva replied.
"Sting is making me food. Do you want to join us?"
"I'd rather not impose."
"Is that Minerva?" she heard Sting call. "Tell her we don't mind her using the kitchen at the same time."
"Did you hear Sting, My Lady?" Lector asked.
She opened the door in response, Lector flying out of her way. Sting looked up from a sheet of paper, various ingredients spread across the counter. "My Lady," he greeted.
"Sting," she replied. Already, she regretted entering the kitchen, but she didn't want to go back to her quarters. She wrapped her pajama robe tighter around herself. "What are you making?" she asked.
Sting half-laughed, half-sighed. "I'm trying to make Takoyaki, but I can't seem to get it right."
"Takoyaki? Why?"
"Lector's been craving octopus and when we got it from the foodstands on missions, they always tasted super good. Can't seem to get it right though." Sting frowned at the recipe in front of him.
"Let me." She pulled the recipe sheet towards her, her red-painted nails like a cat's.
"Excuse me?"
She glared at Sting, who no longer shrunk under her gaze as he had before she left. "I know how to make Takoyaki. Let me help you."
Sting seemed surprised, but it was Lester who commented. "You know how to cook, My Lady? Since when?"
She read over the recipe and avoided both sets of eyes. "My mother taught me."
That answered their question, her mother having passed long before Sting and Rogue showed up at Sabertooth. She didn't want to talk about that though. She'd come to the kitchen to forget her past, not dredge up another hidden piece of it.
"I don't like this recipe," she said. "I'll teach you my way."
Sting and Minerva cooked the Takoyaki together. She instructed him, stating where she would make adjustments on the original recipe, Sting copying her words down in his careful, but sloppy, handwriting. He sliced the octopus, she whisked the batter, and they took turns pouring the mixture into the grill. Lector only watched, but as she plated the dish, Sting took a Takoyaki ball and handed it to Lector.
"Good?" he asked.
"Tasty!" Lector said. "My Lady, you are really good at this!"
Sting took a bite and nodded in agreement. "Better than the street vendors."
Minerva preened. She rarely cooked for others. To have Sting compliment her, especially since she knew human food was not his main source of nutrition, was pleasant. (She wished that hadn't been the first time someone complimented her on something other than her strength. What would her life have been, if she had focused on something other than her father's wishes?)
She took a bite of her own dish. Because she'd been teaching a beginner, there were parts that she'd change, but she wasn't going to comment. She didn't want to interrupt the fragile camaraderie she and Sting had in that early-early morning, not to chase after perfection.
When Minerva caught Sting's gaze, he blushed and grabbed another octopus ball to occupy himself. She realized then that her robe had fallen open to reveal the dainty silk of her nightgown. It must've been unusual for Sting to see her like that in her pajamas. Although, why he was blushing, when her current clothes covered more than what she'd worn as Neo Minerva, was beyond her. Perhaps it was because it was late or they'd just made food together or because that was the closest he had seen to gentleness from her.
(She wondered how Yukino would react to her, dressed in a nightgown and making food, in the subtle intimacy of a kitchen. Would Yukino blush as Sting had? Would she allow Minerva to bring a bite of the dish to her pastel lips?)
(Minerva buried that hypothetical quickly. Bad enough Sting saw her like that. No need to add the spirit mage into the mix.)
"My Lady," Sting said, cutting the quiet strain. "Would you be willing to take on a partnered mission?"
She raised her eyebrow at him in silent question.
"I noticed you prefer solo missions," Sting explained. "But there's a mission that I think you and Yukino would do well together on and it's a high profile client. Yukino's already agreed."
"Did you come to the kitchens specifically to ask me?" she asked.
"No! This was an accident. I was going to ask you tomorrow, but–"
"No better time than now," Minerva said dryly. "Very well. Let me know the details tomorrow."
She went to the door, but part of her wanted to say something else, something other than the clinical discussion of a mission. "I enjoyed cooking with you," she said, the words too kind to be said too loudly. If Sting weren't a dragon slayer, he wouldn't have caught it.
She left before he could respond.
-o-
On the mission with Yukino (and Minerva hated to admit this, given Sabertooth's emphasis on strength), the two of them were marginally in over their heads. It was a low-profile mission to break up a smuggling ring, commissioned by the reformed Magic Council itself. Sting was right that the two of them were uniquely suited for the mission, given Yukino's strength and her keys, which allowed for more numbers with less outside involvement, and Minerva's Territory magic, which contained both raw power and allowed for them to gather the stolen goods easily. But the Magic Council had vastly underestimated everything involved – the amount of smuggled goods, the size of the operation, the number of lower level dark guilds involved, and the strength of the four mages from Alvarez, who headed the operation.
Minerva fought an iron god-slayer and his armored partner, but the lacrima shots of the lower level smugglers and her desire to keep her curse under wraps distracted her. Meanwhile, Yukino sought to clear the path towards the warehouse with her celestial spirits, but an earth mage kept recreating boundaries around it. She also simultaneously manipulated the ground to different consistencies: first sharp rocks, then liquid, then pebbles. The two of them fought like dancers, as Yukino used Libra's gravity to change the shape of the rocks, while Ophiuchus' sharp teeth played offensive. If Minerva hadn't been fighting, she would have wanted to watch her teammate's battle.
A lightning mage, who had first caught them and sounded the alarm, had disappeared. Neither of the Sabertooth mages particularly cared for finding him.
Yet, they should have. As Yukino directed Ophiuchus towards the earth manipulator, that same disappeared mage shot a lightning bolt towards her.
"Yukino!" Minerva yelled. Without thinking, she grabbed the lightning bolt with her magic. She shot it towards the initial caster, but not before Yukino fell from the electric shock.
Ophiuchus twisted around Yukino, fearful for her master. Minerva understood Ophiuchus' worry, but her anger was stronger than her dismay for her guildmate. When she thrust her hand up towards the lightning mage, purple magic swirled over her black-tipped hand.
She exploded. Purple shockwaves surged from her, as she bent a half-mile radius around her to her will. Explosives stored in warehouses were now lit fireworks in vehicles. Lower ranking smugglers now collapsed from heat stroke as she raised the temperature around them to boiling. And anyone who didn't collapse? The smoke from the lit vehicles suddenly surrounded them and she gave the remainder permanent lung damage for their tenacity.
The only people left standing were Yukino, as Ophiuchus had wrapped herself around the spirit mage, the iron god-slayer, his armored partner, and the earth mage. (Belatedly, Minerva realized she must have hit Libra and sent her back to the Celestial Spirit Realm.)
The Alvarez mages, after their magicked shields collapsed under the shockwaves and their legs returned to themselves, charged her. Minerva's vision turned black with rage.
She dispatched them easily. The lightning mage was already out, Minerva having turned his spell back on him. One down.
The iron god-slayer tried to cut her, but she switched places with the armored mage. His sword pierced her armor, straight through her lung. The god-slayer wailed a symphony. Two down.
She vanished again. The earth manipulator tore the ground beneath her to shreds in a failed defense, but what good was an earth mage separated from the ground? Minerva flipped her into the air and as the mage fell, her right hand became a scythe. Blood welled over her claws and down the earth mage's front. Three down.
Only the iron god-slayer was left. Yet, she had studied slayers in her own guild and of the other guilds in the Grand Magic Games. She had fought them before. Hell, she'd even trained them to their full strength before. Slayers, just like all the others, were easy prey. With a wave, all iron disappeared from the battlefield, so the slayer could not replenish his strength. He lunged at her, but she had already tired him out earlier. She changed the air around her fists, so that her hands would not burn, but his skin-turned-iron-armor would melt. She hit him – a kick to the chest, a claw over his face, a punch to the throat – fast and relentless. His armor broke. Her hand gripped the iron god-slayer's throat. He collapsed from her brand-like grip, from the lack of air, from exhaustion. Four down. The last down.
Carnage. Minerva forgot how good it felt to defeat a powerful enemy so readily, forgot how good it felt to feel that strength well up inside her. The purple light, evidence of her magic power, writhed over limbs and she hadn't even broken a sweat. That felt good.
But her anger remained. (Minerva wished it didn't.)
She turned to Yukino. "Why weren't you paying attention?" she asked.
Yukino, wide-eyed, sat crumpled against her spirit's body. Ophiuchus hissed.
"You need to pay better attention!" Minerva continued. "You won't always have someone stronger watching your back. How could you be so careless? How dare you dishonor yourself by acting like a weaker mage?"
Fear, then hurt, blossomed over Yukino's features. "My Lady, look at yourself."
Minerva scoffed. "What does that –"
"The markings are back."
It took her a second to realize that Yukino was referring to Neo Minerva's markings, all that black ink and the horns. Her hands, now blood-stained black claws, went to her skin and hair. Rough sandpaper, like ancient sharkskin armor her mother had once shown her, pushed against what was once her fingertips. Her heartbeat quickened. All anger died.
They traveled back to Sabertooth in silence, the only words being two orders from Minerva for Yukino. One, collect the reward alone. Two, grab Minerva a veil and a thick cloak to hide her skin.
-o-
After the mission, Minerva immediately returned to her quarters. Not even bothering to unpack, she stood in front of her gilded mirror. Through the mesh of the veil, she was a tower of fabric, the mesh falling over her horns, over her forehead and cheeks to her collarbones. She sweated through the thick cloak, but Yukino and her had clasped it shut and it fell to her knees. The only skin showing was the olive flesh of her right calf, which had none of the black sharkskin of her left leg.
Carefully, she unhooked each of the three sets of cloak clasps, more difficult with her pointed claws. The cloak fell to the floor and she pulled the veil to join it. In the mirror, she saw the scythed horns, saw the black eyepatch that covered her right eye and whose stain dripped down like chains over her body. She wanted to see the extent of the markings, whether she'd fully returned to that demon or if it was partial. But as she tried to unzip her gown, she ripped the expensive satin.
At that moment, she gave up. She did not wail, but she tore the floor length dress open, so it was just her, in her underwear, in front of her mirror. Everything was the same as it had been after Kyoka transformed her. The black skin all over her neck and breasts and stomach, all the way down the heel of her left foot. Dried blood flaked over her claws from the defeated mages and it flecked over the ripped satin.
Was there a way to hide it? She scrubbed the blood off her hands until the denticles stood up. She twisted her hair over the horns, but the horns were too big to hide with twin buns. She took her foundation and spread it over her cheeks and neck, caking her skin in the make-up, but it didn't look natural. It didn't look perfect.
And even if Minerva could hide the horns and her face, what could she do with the large talons? Did she even have clothes that covered all of her? Her father had taught her not to hide her power. She performed magic without effort. She decorated her body with expensive fabrics and jewelry. Her gowns revealed her muscular shoulders and thighs. But this power was different. Shameful.
Eventually, she drifted off to sleep. When she woke, Neo Minerva was still there. She sent a message to Sting and Rogue that said she was ill and not to disturb her, to send food to her door until ordered to stop. She would just wait out the transformation, she decided.
After a week, the marks still had not disappeared. She heard a knock.
"My Lady," Rogue said, his voice muffled through the door. "May I speak with you?"
"What do you need?" she said.
"May I come in?"
She considered not letting him, but ultimately, she opened the door a crack. Rogue had seen her like this before. He'd accompanied her to Porlyusica (not that that visit had done any good evidently). He'd seen her cry.
He entered the room and closed the door just as quickly. Rogue took in her ornate room, a drawing room that then led to a small bedroom, hidden by a wooden divider. Rogue's face didn't change, as he studied her, dressed in the only slip she could fit her talons through without tearing it. Minerva, a demon unwillingly returned.
"Yukino told us what happened," he said. "Sting and I. She asked after you."
Minerva glared at him. Like Sting, he no longer wilted under her gaze.
"You're acting like a coward, My Lady."
"I'm not –"
"I didn't say you were. I said you're acting like one. It's not like you to hide your power."
"That is not what this is."
"You destroyed all four mages and the entire smuggling ring."
"Yukino was hurt."
"More from your words than the mages!" Minerva crossed her arms. Rogue sighed.
"Whether you like it or not, this –" He gestured at her eyepatch and horns. "- is power. More than that, it's a choice you made. And it looks like getting rid of it is more difficult than we thought. So for now? You need to accept and live with it."
She didn't respond. His mouth twitched into a frown. "Fine. You've always done whatever you wanted anyway. But I'd recommend you apologize to Yukino, My Lady."
His 'My Lady' sounded more like an insult than an honorific. She hated that he got the last word and hated that he saw her like this. At least, Rogue did not pity her as he once had. At least, she had his displeasure.
But she didn't wish for that either. "Rogue," she said, as his hand grasped the handle. "Send Yukino here."
-o-
Yukino sat on the edge of Minerva's plum armchair, hands folded tightly in her lap. Minerva sat across from her, still in her black slip. She wished she had something better to wear, something to keep up the facade of untouchability, but she didn't. Yukino stared expectantly at Minerva. "Rogue told me," Minerva said slowly, "that you had asked after me."
Yukino tilted her head.
"I should not have yelled at you. You are just as strong as any Sabertooth member. One of the strongest among us, in fact. A moment of distraction does not change that."
Yukino's pale lips quirked. "Are you apologizing, My Lady?"
"Don't tell anyone." The room fell silent again. Minerva hated it. She hated how bright Yukino looked, hated that Yukino had starlight trapped below her skin, while Minerva only had darkness. Yukino's eyes flicked over the stain on her neck and chest, following the line of her clavicle to the low lace neckline of her slip.
That studious gaze was too much. Minerva stood up and turned to her gilded mirror. Her hand covered her throat. "Evidently, they haven't gone away."
"Do you not like them?"
"Why would I?"
Behind her, Yukino stood up, her white head visible over her bare shoulder. "May you turn around, My Lady?"
She acquiesced. "These marks, that power? It saved me. You may think it represents your weakness, but it – but you still saved me."
And then, Yukino kissed where the marks dripped down Minerva's right cheek, that softness touching Minerva's imperfection. Her lips were only on her cheek for a couple seconds, but it was eternity.
Yukino left.
-o-
The next day, all of Minerva's markings were gone.
…
note: *john mulaney voice* minerva's a bitch and i love her so much.
ok, but seriously? she's so fascinating and i hate! how every single time! a female villain in fairy tail! turns good! mashima takes away! all their bitchiness! let juvia, sorano, and minerva be bitches (affectionate). also, let mirajane be a mean too? like we saw how she was as a teenager, she should be much meaner. but nooooooo. i demand bitch rights!
anyway, so i wrote the first draft of this for rare-pair week and then during (and immediately after) rarepair week, my life kinda became super hectic. i've only just had the motivation to pick this up again and as i was revising, it kinda transformed into what it is now. this will be a chapter fic! there will be more yukino x minerva! but she (the fic) has changed from the original vision 3 and i will love and respect her for it 3 i appreciate a good character study, even if that wasn't the original plot of the movie haha
please give comment, favorite, and/or follow if you enjoyed! comments especially give me life and motivation to continue 33