Hey, everyone, apologies for the absence! I've been feeling a little burnt out lately with responsibilities and work and lots of other things, and somehow I feel like I could be doing more. So, this is kind of where this came from. I hope you like it.
Hiccup's life had taken a turn for the better. The war with the dragons had ended. Berk had achieved peace for the first time in three centuries. Hiccup finally had a family who loved him. His father actually saw him for the first time in years. Sometimes it was hard to believe that this was all real. After all, why would Stoick after all these years actually accept and love him? What if Hiccup slipped up again? Would that destroy it all? Would he go back to being Hiccup the Useless, the outcast, the screw-up?
Hiccup carefully punched holes into the leather strips, making sure that each hole was evenly spaced. After that, he threaded his needle and began stitching. Ever since Astrid and the other Riders had gotten saddles for their own dragons, the other Berkians had noticed the amazing workmanship. One thing led after another and soon Hiccup found a crowd of people clamoring outside the smithy with requests for a saddle of their own. Some wanted theirs tall and striking with storage compartments, others flat and simple but with sturdy handlebars. Despite the fact that Hiccup worked pretty quickly, the orders always seemed to pile up and surge to hitherto unreached heights.
Hiccup snipped the thread, knotted the ends, then lifted up the saddle to inspect it. Over his shoulder came a warble from his dragon who craned his head closer.
Hiccup met Toothless' gaze with a smile. "Pretty good, right?"
Toothless smiled gummily, and Hiccup set it down with satisfaction.
"Probably the hardest one yet, but I'm actually happy with it. And it's only-"
Hiccup was taken by surprise when a huge yawn erupted from his mouth. Toothless cooed in concern.
Hiccup shook his head sideways as if to focus. "I-I'm fine, Toothless. I just stayed up late last night."
"And the night before that, and the one before that."
Hiccup spun around to find Gobber lumbering over, a wooden crate of tools in hand(or hook). His bushy, flaxen brows were furrowed in disapproval.
"You've been pushin' it lately with this saddle-makin' business ah yours."
"Who, me?" Hiccup gestured to himself with an innocent grin before waving his hand carelessly. "Come on, Gobber-"
"I'm serious." Gobber shifted the box to his one good hand. "After I lost my leg, I went further than I could handle, an' it was not good. And you-" here he jabbed Hiccup lightly in the middle with his hook for emphasis. "Just got outta a coma, and…"
He stopped as if reconsidering his words.
"What? What?" Hiccup persisted.
Gobber shook his head with a sigh. "Forget it. Here." Gobber handed Hiccup the crate. "From Trader Johann. Didn' tell me what it was, but he said ya'd know."
With a gasp of pleasure, Hiccup tore off the lid and his eyes sparkled upon the sight of musty-white folds of fabric. "Finally! I've waited weeks for this!"
"And this is…?" Gobber asked.
Hiccup set the crate on his stool and tore out the bundle of fabric. He spread it out over the surface of his desk like a tablecloth. "It's a canvas for Toothless' tail fin. Lighter but sturdier. That way, fewer mid-flight disasters. Right, bud?"
Hiccup gave Toothless a scratch under the chin who growled lowly; the dragon could not even count how many times he and his human had almost fallen to their deaths, and if he were honest, he did not find it enjoyable.
"After that, I think we can start fireproofing it," Hiccup went on. "Shouldn't be too difficult as long as-"
"Hiccup!"
At the sudden call of his name, he circled around and saw Astrid dash into the blacksmith shop, her blue eyes flashing with alarm.
"What, what is it?" Hiccup asked.
"It's Hookfang and Meatlug. They had a fight and set a house on fire! It's spreading fast!" Astrid took no more time and rushed out to mount her dragon.
Hiccup followed after her and leapt onto Toothless' back. They both took off and zoomed across the sky towards the center of the village. Hiccup squinted his eyes ahead and let out a small gasp when he spotted the smoke swirling above a row of houses. Below him he saw several Viking men and women running about with buckets of water in a state of total panic.
He gasped in horror when he saw one of the beams of the house splitting off from the structure and falling in the direction of a small, red-headed girl. She would not move out of the way. Fear had paralyzed her on the spot. Quick as lightning, Toothless divebombed down and snatched up the girl, pulling her out of the way of danger just in time.
Hiccup jumped off Toothless' back and helped the girl gently to her feet. She was still shaken but looked extremely thankful and relieved.
He was about to ask if she was alright when an urgent voice cried, "It's spreading!"
Hiccup glanced briefly at the nearby well and at the Berkians rushing to and from it. There would not be enough buckets to put out this fire. Plus, he saw that the flames were beginning to crawl to another roof. To his left he spotted a water trough. Hurriedly, he jumped onto Toothless who hoisted the trough up into the air. They dumped it onto the roof, and the fire extinguished with an angry sizzle.
Relieved, Hiccup caught his breath upon landing. He looked around at the horde gathered around him. "Is everyone okay?"
Perhaps this was a stupid question for it was not a second's wait before Spitelout stepped forward with his arms crossed and his bushy eyebrows furrowed into an infuriated scowl.
"Are you serious? 'Is everyone alright?' Certainly not! Those blasted dragons-" he jabbed his index finger accusingly at Meatlug and Hookfang. "Are dangerous!"
"Even when we're at peace with 'em they're settin' our homes on fire!" came another voice. Hiccup turned and saw it was the girl's mother. She had her daughter fastened in a secure, enveloping hug as if she were protecting her from any more possible danger.
"My poor Eggingarde was almost crushed because of that Gronckle! And our house!"
Guilt weighed down on Hiccup as he glanced in the direction of the blackened house, its walls charred and smoking. He truly felt sorry for this family. They had no choice to rebuild it entirely; there was no way the structure would stay. Fishlegs met Hiccup's gaze with an apologetic, shamed frown. Fishlegs would have said something had his shame not taken away his speech. And as for Snotlout, he was too busy chastizing Hookfang for not listening.
"I'm sorry, it was an accident-" Hiccup began.
Another man scoffed and stepped towards Hiccup, his hands on his hips, his glowering eyes boring holes into Hiccup's head. "You really expect us to live with dragons when they're burning our homes down? What's next?! Attacking our children?"
"No, no they would never do that!" Hiccup cried hurriedly and aghastly. "Meatlug and Hookfang, they're good dragons! They would never-"
"How do you know?" the mother demanded, stepping forward and towering over him threateningly. "You claim to know dragons, yet ya can't control them!"
"They didn't mean to-"
"To what? Almost kill my child?"
"You don't understand-" Hiccup tried desperately.
"Huh! Got that right. We don't understand why you brought these beasts into our home!" spat Spitelout.
Overwhelming panic washed over Hiccup as the horde began to encircle him. He spun around, looking for an exit, but they had closed in around him. He was trapped, and they were surrounding, getting closer and closer, choking him, suffocating him.
"This is your doing!"
"We never should have trusted you!"
"I-I didn't-" Hiccup stammered, but he was drowned out by the angry, snarling Vikings.
"Still destroying Berk-"
"Your fault-"
"You shame your father-"
"Not good enough to be chief-"
Hiccup's ears rang in panic. The voices morphed into one. They swarmed him north, south, east, and west. They were everywhere, suffocating him. He could not escape the onslaught of fury. He was in the middle of this terrible storm, being struck at like a boat on a stormy sea. They were pushing him under. He was drowning…
"Stop!" a booming roar cut through the crowds. "Break it up!"
The crowd parted and in walked Stoick, towering above them all. He glanced down at his son in worry.
"Hiccup, what's going on?" he asked, but Spitelout was the one who answered.
"That Gronckle almost burned a whole row of houses down!"
"It was an accident," Hiccup explained hurriedly to his father. "But we put it out before it spread too far."
"Something needs to be done about these dragons," the mother insisted shrilly, "before they kill us all!"
Several others clamored in approval. Hiccup felt himself drowning in overwhelm, but Stoick raised his hand for order.
He glanced over at Fishlegs and Snotlout. "Was anyone hurt?"
They shook their heads.
Stoick then looked to the crowd. "That's what really matters here, that no one was harmed. Nevertheless-" Stoick cast a look at the blackened house which looked ready to crumble any second, then sighed. "-it's best to ensure something like this does not happen again."
"Which is why the dragons need to go," Spitelout retorted.
"Or-" Hiccup wavered at the boring glares of the horde, but Stoick nodded encouragingly. "We just need a fire prevention system."
"Oh, really?" The mother crossed her beefy arms. "And how would we do that?"
Hiccup chewed his lip. "I could design one. It could go on each house-"
"Excellent!" Stoick clapped a hand on his son's thin shoulder. "Something to put out the fires as soon as they start! How soon can you get it made?"
Pressure built up in his chest as the stares of hundreds bore holes into him. It became too much for him, so he cast his gaze down at his feet(foot, that is). "I… I might be able to come up with something…within a few days-"
"Perfect! Can't wait to see your first model!" Stoick boomed cheerily.
. . .
The night was long and hard for Hiccup. It took many drawing and tearing up and redrawing of plans before he even began designing and forging. After forming the casts, he finally got to smelting, which took hours because his casts were poorly made. He did not understand why the casts were not defecting. It could have been that he had not formed them properly.
Of course, even after he had drawn up the plans, several Vikings came to the forge to bombard Hiccup with more tasks. Some requests changes for their saddles like more pockets or spike embellishments while others demanded that their swords be straightened or hunting knives sharpened. Since Gobber had gone home early with a nasty burn on the side of his face -turns out mustaches make great fuel for stray embers, who knew- it fell upon Hiccup to rise up. Many nights and many days came of slaving over the fire and sewing and hammering.
Still, in spite of often days forgetting meals, running around circles inventing, forging, sharpening, mediating dragon fights, and even going on four hours of sleep -when he gave himself the chance to rest- Hiccup convinced himself that he could be doing more. After all, he remembered that his father spent all his time trying to serve the people. It did not matter how much energy he was expending. It did not matter that he felt hungry sometimes. It did not matter that he felt tired. Tired was good. It meant he was doing something, making his father proud. After all, he was living up to Stoick's motto: "the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few."
As for his fire prevention system, he was finding it hard to build. The first model -a sprinkler, he had called it- consisted of a long, curved tube holding water at its bottom. In theory, it flipped upside down and spilled water when the pulley rope was yanked. "In theory" were the key words since he had not gotten a way for the rope to move. It seemed to be wound too tight, so he yanked it several times. However, it stubbornly refused to budge. Hiccup strained and jerked on the rope, only to have the rope snap and the motion send him stumbling backwards into a basket of leather scraps.
Wincing, Hiccup put a hand to his bruised head. "Well, that could have been worse, I guess."
Without warning, the metal cylinder burst and sent its bolts flying, north, south, east, and west, ricocheting off the walls. Hiccup cried in surprise and made to shield his face with his arms when Toothless jumped in the way and spread his wings to block the zooming nuts and bolts. The dragon gave his human a disapproving scowl.
"Sorry." Hiccup rubbed his neck awkwardly. "I guess it needs a little tweaking."
A little tweaking? Toothless growled incredulously.
"Okay, okay, a lot," Hiccup admitted, waving his hands apologetically.
He was not down long before out of the corner of his eye, he saw his father duck his head into his workshop.
"Dad!" Hiccup jumped to his feet, feeling mortified by the massive clutter of parts strewn about the floor. "You're here! I, uh-"
"Still workin' on that fire system, I see," Stoick observed and bent over to pick up a scuffed gear.
"Yeah." Hiccup hurriedly gathered up the burst parts of the pipe into his arms and dumped them onto his desk with a loud, metallic clank. "It's got some kinks, but it's, uh, it's coming along. Slowly but surely."
Stoick nodded his head, and inspected a leather strap that had been left abandoned on the floor. "And this is-"
Hiccup rushed forward with a cry of realization and relief and grabbed the strap. "I thought I'd lost that!"
"You still makin' saddles?"
"Yup, got a lot of requests for them. Guess they made a statement after they saw Astrid and the others-" Hiccup stopped dead in his tracks. "Oh, I forgot! I promised I'd help Fishlegs with Meatlug. He's been having trouble eating."
Swiftly, he yanked his apron off, flung it on its peg, and began pulling on his riding vest. He only glanced back a second while climbing onto Toothless' back, but he could have sworn that Stoick's eyes were filled with… concern and even guilt, two emotions he seldom displayed, if ever. He nearly asked what was wrong when his mind turned to Fishlegs and he took off with Toothless. Hiccup did not want to break his word, especially when he was so needed.
At length, Toothless touched down, and Hiccup ran around the back of Fishlegs' house to find the blond, rotund boy with his Gronckle Meatlug who was lying flat on his back with his tongue lolling out so drool pooled from his mouth.
"Hiccup! Thank Thor you're here!" Fishlegs exclaimed, his voice high with anxiety.
Hiccup rushed over and glanced down at Meatlug. "What happened?"
"I-I don't know," Fishlegs hyperventilated, jumping from one foot to another. "We were just out tending to the garden when he just started choking and then he just- collapsed!"
Hiccup looked down and noticed Meatlug's eyes rolling back into his head. Then, he noticed the enormous lump in Meatlug's fat stomach which was convulsing sporadically. Instinctively, Hiccup pressed his hand against the Gronckle's scaly stomach.
He twisted around to his Night Fury. "Toothless, I need you to press down here."
"What?!" Fishlegs cried, aghast.
"Trust me."
Toothless stepped forward and pressed his front paws against Meatlug's belly. Meatlug gagged, and Toothless pushed down again. The next thing they knew, Hiccup and Fishlegs were watching the Gronckle regurgitating copious amounts of bulging black rocks.
Toothless stepped back, and Meatlug stood up with a bound and greeted Fishlegs with a cheerful, slobbery lick.
"Oh, Meatlug, you're okay!" Fishlegs threw his arms around his dragon, then glanced at Hiccup. "So, that was the problem, he had too much quartzite. I had no idea."
Hiccup was about to tell Fishlegs that he was fairly certain his dragon was, in fact, a 'she,' when he was pulled into a bone-crushing hug by his massive friend.
"Thank you, thank you, thank you, Hiccup!"
"Don't- don't mention it," Hiccup wheezed painedly. "Fishlegs- please- you- can- let go now-"
Fishlegs then set a gasping Hiccup down. "Sorry. I just really appreciate it. I don't know what would have happened if-"
"No- problem," Hiccup gasped, rubbing his sides; he was certain that Fishlegs had popped something out of place. "Anything for a friend."
Fishlegs beamed brightly. "Y'know, if you ever have time, I'd love to show you some things that I've learned about Gronckles. They are quite the amazing dragon species," he added while giving Meatlug another fond embrace.
"Yeah, I'd like that," Hiccup replied brightly.
He then received a nudge in the side by Toothless who warbled as if to remind him of something.
"Oh, yeah." Hiccup facepalmed at his forgetfulness. "I've got to go. Silent Sven asked me to fix his fence."
"What happened to it?" Fishlegs inquired.
"The twins apparently tried to poach a few of his sheep and ended up demolishing the entire front of it," Hiccup responded haggardly as he climbed onto Toothless' back. "I managed to catch all his sheep, but…suffice it to say he was less than pleased."
Fishlegs grinned uncomfortably to one side. "Well, good luck with that, then."
With a mumble of "thanks," Hiccup set his prosthetic into the stirrup, and he and Toothless soared off.
. . .
The building of the fence took hours to build. Even with the help of his dragon lugging the heavy logs, Hiccup's arms still ached as he lifted the posts into place and secured them together with nails. He worked quickly while Silent Sven observed distrustfully from the door of his home. Hiccup did not stop to catch his breath although his muscles were quaking unsteadily and sweat was trickling down his brow and into his eyes. He did not want to take a break, not now while his every move was being watched and judged. He had to prove he was capable. He had to show everyone that he could do this-
"OW!"
Hiccup pulled his hand back and sucked his smarting thumb. He could believe that he had gotten distracted and hammered his own hand. The throbbing pain seemed to pulse out, idiot, idiot, idiot.
The Night Fury leaned his head over and gave a whine of concern.
Hiccup pulled his thumb from his mouth and winced. "It's fine, bud. I'll live."
By the time he finished hammering in the last nail, the orange sun was sinking behind a veil of purple.
Hiccup sighed haggardly, setting down the hammer. He scratched Toothless fondly under the chin. "Time to head home."
He hoisted himself onto the Night Fury's back but with a significantly slower pace. Every part of Hiccup ached and throbbed. All he wanted right now was to lay his head down for the night, but he could not yet. He still had other things to do.
He and Toothless flew back home. The instant he pushed open the creaky door, a cozy, mouthwatering smell wafted from the fire. Hiccup found Stoick setting down a steaming pot of something on the table. Whatever it was, the aroma made the boy's empty stomach growl as it had been for hours.
His father gave him a warm, proud smile, and Hiccup returned it as best he could. The last thing he needed was Stoick thinking that Hiccup was incapable and useless and weak.
"How'd things go?" Stoick asked while Hiccup sank into a chair.
"Ah, not too bad. I've still got some saddles to build, though. Plus, the fire system needs some tweaking."
After throwing a freshly-caught mackerel Toothless' way, Stoick glanced down at his son silently.
Hiccup pursed his lips and shifted his eyes. "What?"
"Have you been takin' care of yourself?" Stoick asked.
"Weird question," Hiccup returned hesitantly.
"Hiccup."
"Yeah, I have, why do you ask?"
Stoick raised a bushy eyebrow. "You're lookin'... thin."
"Thanks, Dad," Hiccup murmured with a sarcastic tone. "Look, I know I'm not big, but-"
"That's not what I mean. I'm talking about-" Stoick waved a beefy hand at him. "This. You're skinnier. You've lost weight."
"No, I haven't-" Hiccup began.
"Hiccup," Stoick interrupted. "It's one thing to lie to me. It's another to lie to yourself."
Hiccup bit his lip and bowed his head, suddenly ashamed. Stoick was not mad. If he were, he would have raised his voice instead of lowering it. Hiccup hated it when his father lowered his voice. It meant that he was disappointed in him. Hiccup could bear his father's anger. It was not pleasant, but at least it was bearable. But disappointment, that was something he could never cope with. It was crippling, shrinking, crushing.
When Hiccup rubbed his upper arm, his fingers could feel the bone. He had noticed that his clothes were a little loosier, a little baggier. One day, when he pulled on a clean tunic, he felt like he was swimming in the fabric.
"Okay, maybe. Maybe I have lost a little, but-" Hiccup turned his head up, his eyes earnest. "Dad, I'm fine, really."
But Stoick hardly seemed to believe him. Instead he raised his eyebrow at him. "Ya haven't been sleepin' much, have ya?"
Hiccup chuckled softly and shrugged his shoulders. "Sleep's overrated."
"How long did ya stay out last night?"
"Well, some of the sheep were missing, and then Stormfly was sick. Then, I had to work on some other things-"
Stoick put a hand to his temple and rubbed it with a sigh. "Son, don't you think-"
Hiccup threw his arms out. "What?"
"Are ya sure you're not takin' on too much?"
Hiccup blinked. "Too much? What do you mean?"
"Well…" Stoick pushed a bowl of stew in front of Hiccup. "I'm just concerned what with everything you've been through of late."
" 'Everything I've been through?' What are- You don't think I can handle all this?"
"No, not that all," Stoick responded. "I think you're doin' a great job. You've been workin' hard. What I mean is that you should remember not to overextend yerself."
Hiccup paused for a moment and looked down. Was his father, the man who for years and years devoted all his time and effort into helping the people, telling him to not "overextend" himself? Hiccup did not understand it. Was it because Stoick did not trust him to get it all done? Perhaps Stoick still saw him as that clumsy, scatter-brained boy who could not take on responsibility because he would screw it all up in the end.
Hiccup tilted his head up and gave a smile. "I'm fine, Dad. I got this."
Stoick stared at him, silent for a moment, then nodded. "Alright. As long as ya know yer limits. Now eat up. You'll need the strength."
Hiccup took a few spoonfuls, savoring the warm taste of each. He was sure he could have easily swallowed the entire contents of the bowl and gone back for seconds if he had not suddenly remembered and jumped to his feet.
"I'm sorry, I've got to head to the smithy. I promised Mrs. Ack I'd deliver the saddle by tonight, and I gotta quickly finish it."
Stoick nodded his head in understanding. "But don't stay out too late. It's looking like rain tonight."
"Right. I'll be back as soon as I can." Hiccup rushed off towards the door, with Toothless following close behind.
He struck a match and lit a candle after entering his workroom. The small light fizzled and flickered, its warm light spilling over the walls of the dark room. In the far corner, hanging suspended from a hook was the saddle, or at least the front and back parts of it. Hiccup hastily pulled it down from its place and plopped it on his desk where he had lain out the strap which would . He yanked the left drawer out and busily combed through the contents of it until he found a needle and a spool of thread.
Soon, he threaded it and went to work. Thank goodness it was all but finished and he remembered to punch the holes. He moved swiftly, weaving the needle in and through, in and through. He did not look up until Toothless gave a little whine and nudged his arm.
"I know, I'm going as fast as I can," Hiccup said.
But Toothless shook his head and nudged his forearm once more.
"Yeah, I know I've been bad about flying lately. But I promise, we'll go flying tomorrow-"
Toothless interrupted him with a slight huff and widened his eyes.
Hiccup, setting down the needle, turned in his seat towards his dragon, and threw out his hands in irritation. "Look, bud, I don't know why you're angry, I prom-"
His words cut off when he felt a little tug on the hem of his right sleeve. Abruptly turning, he lifted right arm and found little trails of brown thread streaming out from the saddle to his sleeve like miniscule spider webs.
To his bewilderment, he was dumbfounded. All he could muster was a breathy "oh." He did not understand it, but an unexpected tinge of self-frustration pricked in his chest. He had done this before many a time; it was not his first time stitching, and yet somehow he felt like this was a colossal failure. A wave of doubt seeped into his mind. Maybe Stoick was right. Maybe he was not capable of handling this. If he could even stitch correctly, how could he possibly do anything else?
A murmuring croon from Toothless shook him from his thoughts. Hiccup and the dragon's eyes met. The night Fury seemed to be asking, "Are you alright?"
"I'm-" "I'm fine. Just- just a little- just kinda tired," Hiccup laughed rather ruefully, then shook his head as if to shrug away the feeling. "I'll work through it. I'm fine."
After snipping the thread sewn into his sleeve, he carried on in an attempt to distract his mind, but his burning eyes were blurring in the candlelight. Plus, his hands which shook -odd because he always had steady hands- were not helping much either. Still, he worked, pushing through it. I can do this, he thought adamantly to himself. I'm fine. I'm fine.
At long last, he made a knot at the end of the thread and snipped it. With a proud grin, he held the finished saddle aloft in the candlelight, then packed it up into Toothless' saddlebag and mounted onto him.
As they both soared through the night sky, Hiccup breathed deeply in the crisp night air, and the weight of the world seemed to melt away. Here up in the air, away from everything, nothing else really mattered. When his gaze drifted to below where the torchlights by the houses flickered in the town, his heart sank to his stomach as he remembered everything: his people, his friends, his father, everyone who was counting on him. He could not let them down. He could not screw anything up, not after finally gaining their trust. He had to be perfect. He had to be good enough.
Toothless" worried croon yanked him back, and he noticed his fist were so clenched that his knuckles had turned white. Sighing deeply, he loosened his grip on the handles and brushed his bangs from his eyes.
Toothless whined again, turning his gaze up towards his rider. You okay?
With an exhausted nod, Hiccup forced a smile. "I'm fine, bud. You don't have to worry."
Then, as if nature herself were protesting, raindrops began to fall, first scatteringly, then gradually accumulating to a steady downpour. It dumped buckets until Hiccup;s tunic adhered damply to his skin and his bangs drooped into his eyes. Toothless in annoyance huffed and shook his head, but more and more rain replaced that which he attempted to shake off.
The veil of rain swept around them, thick and tumultuous so that it was hard to fly or see without being splashed with the endless downpour.
Anxiously, Toothless turned his eyes up to Hiccup. Let's turn back and wait till it lets up.
"We can't, I said I'd get the saddle to Mrs. Ack's house by tonight. I-I know, bud, it's hard to see," Hiccup sympathized and patted Toothless' soaked, scaly forehead. "But we're almost there. We can make it. Just keep pushing."
But the distance to the Acks' house was no short trip; it was halfway around the village, nearly at the very edge by the docks, and the pelting rain and the howling wind slowed Toothless' pace. It seemed to get worse and worse the further they flew. Hiccup's entire self shivered and shook from the cold, and his teeth chattered incessantly. His fingertips burned with an icy flame as the feeling began in them gradually disappeared. The raindrops slicked down his neck and his back, drenching him further and further. He rubbed his arms vigorously in hopes of warming himself, but his shivering only became more violent. Hiccup looked out into the endless veil of freezing rain, hoping to see some break, some end to it. Alas, it kept going on and on. It would not let up for him and Toothless.
"K-k-keep going," Hiccup shivered weakly to himself. "Keep going, keep going…"
But he hardly possessed the energy to keep his spirits up. He could not feel his fingers which had frozen in place gripped around the saddle handles. The end of his nose and the tips of his ears were icy. There was not any inch of him that was not numb from the storm's glacial touch. He did not know how much more he could take. The chill was draining his energy like a Viking chugging a flagon of beer. It was hard to sit up straight, to keep holding on, to keep his eyes open.
At long last, he spotted it, the Acks' house below them, the warm, inviting glow of a candle shining out from a crack in the shutters.
Hiccup breathed a quiet, shivering sigh of relief as Toothless landed by the porch. With sluggish, quavering determination, he pulled the saddles from its bag and carried it to the front door. He gave a few weak raps on the wood. No answer. He knocked again, this time a little harder, and his frostbitten knuckles pulsated in retaliation. He winced painedly and stared at the door. Why was no one answering the door? He did not understand. He saw the candle lit, yet no one seemed to be awake to hear him. They could not ignore him.
Anxiety rose in his chest. He knocked again, one, two, three, four times. Someone had to hear him.
The door flung open to a man who wiped his haggard eyes. He scowled down at Hiccup through a bushy, mussed-up broom of an eyebrow-he only seemed to have one long one creeping across his face.
Hiccup forced a cheerful smile, wiped his dripping bangs from his eyes, and adjusted the slick saddle tucked under his arm.
"Uh, hi, sir," he managed through chattered teeth.
"What the Thor do you want, bothering me now?" Mr. Ack demanded grumpily. "It's several hours past sundown, and it's a cold night."
This was not exactly the most cheerful greeting, but Hiccup kept his smile. With quavering hands, he held out the saddle.
"Mrs. Ack said to bring it as soon as it was, so here it is."
Mr. Ack did not even reach out a hand to take it, a look of disdain on his face as he studied the sopping saddle. Hiccup rubbed his arm again. Mr. Ack said nothing.
"Is it- is it alright?" Hiccup asked nervously.
"It's wet," he replied flatly.
Hiccup's heart sank. "Yeah, I- I guess it is, I'm sorry. I had to fly through the rain to bring it here, but-"
Mr. Ack said nothing; he did not seem very pleased. He seemed more annoyed than anything. When he finally opened his mouth to speak, a call came from inside the house.
"Who's there, love?" It was Mrs. Ack. "Who's at the door?"
"Oh, just Stoick's boy," her husband called over his buff shoulder.
"Oh!" came Mrs. Ack's gleeful cry. "It must be my saddle! What a sweet boy! Bring the saddle in, darling, I want to see!"
With a roll of his eyes, Mr. Ack yanked the saddle from Hiccup's hands with a roughness that made him tense inside.
"Alright, you can go home now," he said gruffly.
"I, uh, I hope you like it-"
But he had already turned around and slammed the door in Hiccup's face. For a moment, Hiccup could not move. He simply stood there, paralyzed. Then, voices floated out from the open window.
"I can't believe that boy," Mr. Ack grumbled. "Bad enough we've got bloody dragons living in our home, now the boy responsible for 'em is trespassin' in the dead of night-"
"Darling," Mrs. Ack protested gently. "He came all this way to get it to us. In the rain."
"I don't care. That boy has always brought nothin' but trouble, and he always will."
"He's made mistakes, yes, but he's determined. Just like his father, Stoick-"
"Stoick!" Mr. Ack ejaculated. "Like Stoick! Bertha, he's nothing like his father! He'll never be like him, let alone even hold a candle to him!"
"Oh, dear, really," protested his wife. "He's brought peace to Berk, something we've not had for three centuries."
"You call this 'peace'? He's brought more chaos than ever! Do you honestly believe that Stoick is actually proud of him?"
These words hit Hiccup like a slap in the face. Normally, Hiccup would not have cared so much what people said, but it hit him right where the chink in his armor was. He turned on his heel and trudged towards Toothless and clambered onto his back. He had heard enough.
As they flew home, Hiccup mulled over Mr. Ack's words which still rang loudly in his ears. He could not help but wonder if he was right. Why would Stoick be proud of him? He certainly did not seem to be at dinner. Before his eyes he could clearly picture the disappointment on his father's face, the terrible, crippling disappointment.
Hiccup had failed. Mr. Ack was right; Stoick was not proud of him. Why should he?
It was long past midnight when Toothless reached the house. Hiccup pushed on the wood of the door which opened with a creak. He turned his gaze towards the hearth which still crackled, warm and inviting. Shutting the door behind him and Toothless, he traversed over with slow, squishing steps, and promptly sank down cross-legged in front of the fire.
Toothless nuzzled his nose against Hiccup's knobby knee, cooing in concern, but Hiccup hardly noticed. Only when he nudged him a little gentler did he turn his head and meet the dragon's emerald eyes. Hiccup wanted to offer his friend a smile, some words of assurance to tell him that nothing was wrong, but somehow, he could not bring himself to do anything.
Hiccup reached out his hand and gave Toothless a brief scratch behind the ear. Quickly he turned his gaze away, finding the pity in his dragon's eyes too unbearable. Reaching into his leather satchel which had been left forgotten on the floor at dinner, he pulled out the busted bolts and parts of the sprinkler system. The metal was cracked and broken apart in strange places so that it almost looked like bits of copper glass. He ran his finger somberly over the sharp edge then instantly regretting it when the point slashed a deep cut into his forefinger.
"Ow!"
Hiccup recoiled in pain, dropping all the pieces to the floor with a noisy clatter. He stuck his finger in his mouth, sucking it with a wince. Much to his surprise, he felt hot tears welling up in his eyes. Whether it was from the pain or something else, he was not sure.
"Looks like ya got caught in the storm."
Hiccup spun around in horror to see his father standing above him. He leapt to his feet, spraying water droplets everywhere.
"How- how long have you been up?"
"I never went to bed. I suspected you'd be late again, but I didn't expect-"
"It's just a little rain," Hiccup shivered.
Stoick hummed quietly, his gaze drifting to the scatter of parts at his son's feet.
"I was just trying to fix it," Hiccup explained hastily. "I thought maybe I could, y'know, test it in the morning. It'll only take a few hours-"
"Son." Stoick laid a hand on Hiccup's shoulder. "I think it'd be best if you take a break from your fire system."
Hiccup was dumbfounded; surely he had not heard him correctly. "Wh-what? But, Dad, I can- I can do this, I-"
"No. I've put too much on you, I realize that now. And I think you should give yourself some time. From everything."
Speechless, his eyes fell on the pieces of his shattered work. All the work, all the energy, all the emotion and turmoil he put forth, and for what? To go to waste. Why? Because even if it was his best, it was not enough. He was not enough. He would never, ever be enough.
A bitter, mirthless chuckle came from Hiccup as a single, frustrated tear slid on his cheek. "I don't believe it. He was right."
"What?" Stoick's eyes widened. "Who was right?"
Hiccup shook his head and pulled away. "Doesn't matter, it's nothing."
"No, it's something. If you heard something, you can tell me."
"Dad, it doesn't matter-"
Hiccup turned to walk up to his room, but his father grasped him by the wrist and stared imploringly at him.
"Hiccup, I need you to tell me. What's wrong?"
For a while, deafening silence filled the room. Hiccup looked left and right, searching for an exit. He glanced over at Toothless, pleading wordlessly for help, but the Night Fury simply nodded at him.
It's okay.
Hiccup hung his head with a sigh. "It's everything. It's everyone, it's me, it's… it's stupid. This-" He thrust up and displayed a fistful of the broken tube parts. "This thing, it's stupid."
With one furious motion, he broke away and thrust the parts into the fire, and a spray of embers burst from the crackling logs.
"Hiccup!" Stoick cried, aghast. "But you spent days on-"
"And it didn't even work." Hiccup paced frustratedly about the room, waving his hands around. "Nothing I did worked. It was all for nothing, Dad, nothing. I gave my all, I tried my best, but it wasn't good enough! I-I failed. I still ended up doing more bad than good. I just- I guess I can't do it. I will never…"
Hiccup sunk into the chair by the fire, exhausted and hopeless, and hid his face in his hands. He breathed shakily and pushed his sopping bangs out of his eyes.
"I just wanted to make you proud," he whispered brokenly.
Another lapse of silence ensued. Then, Stoick spoke.
"Hiccup."
He did not respond.
"Son, look at me."
Biting his lip, Hiccup lifted his drooped head.
"Don't ever think you're not good enough. You're one of the best people I know."
"You're just saying that-"
"No, I mean it. You are going to change this world. You-" Stoick grasped his son's thin shoulder and shook it firmly. "Are a hero. Forget what other people say. To me, you have always been a hero."
Wordless, Hiccup glanced up at his father, hardly believing his father's words. Could he actually mean that? Was he truly in his father's eyes a hero? No one -especially not Stoick- had ever called him that.
"And Hiccup," Stoick continued. "I want you to remember that no matter what, I will always, always be proud of you, alright?"
Hiccup's chest swelled unbearably. Proud. He said he was proud, proud of him. Hiccup smiled broadly at his father. He wanted to say thank you, to tell Stoick that he loved him so much, but instead he lunged forward and gave him a tight hug.
"Ohh!" Stoick cried in surprise, then he returned the embrace. "It's alright, Hiccup, it's alright."
But Hiccup hardly heard Stoick was saying, for over and over in his mind, he could hear it: "I will always be proud of you."
And he knew he would not forget it. Not now. Not ever.
Thank you for reading, it means a lot! Also, I am working on the next chapter of DWD, so stay tuned. Thank you again, and see you soon!