A great blackness obscured his vision, accompanied by the sensation of a hard throbbing in his head. He moaned, feeling discomfort and pain from his headache.
It hurt so badly; Mario had a hard time opening his eyes. But with some effort, he was able to move his eyelids until light flooded his sight and the fat Italian finally reawakened to the world.
However, with his return to consciousness, Mario could feel something else alongside the pain in his head. He tried to move his limbs, but his arms stayed still as if they were made of lead. It took a minute for the plumber to fully regain all of his senses, and that was when he realized… HE WAS TIED UP!
Fully awake, he looked down to see the rope binding him. Mario felt something on his back, he was tied to a pole. He looked up and all around, the mustached plumber was in a location unfamiliar to him.
But to judge by the location, Mario was up in the mountains somewhere, very high up if he could see the sky around the area.
"Ooohhhh..." The mentally-challenged hero groaned, "Mama mia."
It all came back to him quickly, what he was doing earlier and where he was previously. Mario was out for a walk in Mushroom City, enjoying the fresh air and having a wonderful day after eating a big plate of spaghetti this morning for breakfast.
But right when he'd been strolling through the park, he was attacked. This wasn't new, Mario had been attacked by enemies so many times prior to then.
Every week, the silly plumber wound up on some misadventure where he was attacked by a particular enemy, but this attack was nothing compared to the previous attacks. Mario couldn't believe it, but he'd been attacked by... Octolings.
It was unbelievable, Octolings in the middle of Mushroom City, so far away from Inkopolis or whatever area was close to Inkopolis.
Sure, there were Inklings and other random Inkopolis citizens wandering around in the Mushroom Kingdom and other regions far away from their home city, but seeing a group of Octolings like the ones who attacked Mario all the way out in Mushroom City. That was ridiculous...
In fact, it didn't make sense. What did he do to deserve something like this, did those Octolings tie him up here and what was this place exactly?
"So, you're finally awake."
Mario looked up, eyes widening and his heart thumping with dread. He straightened himself, looking into the eyes of the nearly unseen and mysterious speaker.
A female Octoling with red-colored tentacled hair stood right in front of him, bearing a Splattershot in her arms and wearing her race's trademark Octoling goggles and battle armor consisting of the black crop-top, black short-shorts and battle boots. The Octoling glared at the red-blue overall-clad Italian man, a hand on her hip.
Just looking at this octo-girl, Mario found himself being reminded of another Octoling he knew.
He could hear chatter and saw more Octolings in the vicinity, either conversing with each other or staring at the Italian with a hint of disdain. Mario noticed a pair of Octarians close by, he hadn't seen those guys in quite a very long time too.
"It's about time you woke up, mustached human freak." The Octoling said fiercely, she whacked Mario in the face, dazing the red Italian, "You are in so much trouble."
"Oooh, mama mia, wh-what did Mario do?" Mario asked.
"He wants to see you..." Came the ominous reply.
Boot-clad heels clicked and feet stomped with Splattershots held firmly, the Octolings and Octarians snapped to attention. Slimy-sounding footsteps tickled Mario's ears and his guard stepped aside as a new face approached; Mario's heart pounded with dread, his forehead sweating even more...
DJ Octavio stood in front of the plumber, tentacles crossed and bearing that strange gold-black Asian helmet on his head, another familiar face Mario had not seen in a very long time as well.
"Enjoying our... hospitality...?" The Octarian leader asked, glaring at Mario menacingly.
"Mamaf***er!" Mario responded.
"DON'T SWEAR AT ME, MUSTACHED BUFFOON!" A tentacle slapped the fat Italian square across the face, harder than when the Octoling guard had hit him. Several Octolings jeered at Mario, the Octarians watching without a word or even making any other facial expression.
"And don't try to pull any tricks either..." Octavio yelled, "I know what you did recently, we know what you pulled. DID YOU ENJOY GOING ON THAT JOYRIDE, WITHOUT MY CONSENT?"
"Wh-What-a the hell did-a Mario do?" Mario protested, "Mario's been a good boy..."
Octavio was steaming with anger and a tentacle wrapped around Mario's nose, squeezing it hard until the Italian was wailing in pain. "DID YOU HAVE FUN FLYING MY OCTOBOT MECH AND GETTING IT BANGED UP?" The octopus snarled, "Drop the innocent act right now, lazy humanoid, I HAVE EYES EVERYWHERE AND WE KNOW WHAT YOU WERE UP TO!"
'Oh, boy...' Mario thought, 'Mario's in-a big trouble now."
"AND YOU CAN STOP PLAYING DUMB WITH ME, YOU RED BUG!" Octavio screamed, "I, DJ Octavio, do not take kindly to those who take my property WITHOUT... MY... CONSENT!"
With every word and each passing minute, Octavio seemed to get angrier and he got in Mario's face until the Italian was more terrified of him than ever.
The fat Italian had heard stories about Octavio during a few of his Inkopolis trips, but actually interacting with him, it was nothing like whenever Mario interacted with Bowser during their time as enemies and DJ Octavio was nothing like the Koopa King...
SMACK! "WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU?!" The angry octopus moved closer, his eyes ablaze with anger, and pointed a tentacle at the plumber, "WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELF FOR STEALING MAH OCTOBOT MACHINE, YOU RED HUMAN IDIOT? Do not invoke the fury of DJ Octavio...!"
Mario's Octoling guard pointed her Splattershot at him, the other Octolings were all glaring angrily at the Italian. Mario thought it over as best he could, even as his impaired mind thought of other things.
His brain clicked and Mario stared down Octavio in the eye fiercely, the octopus crossed his arms and the Octolings readied their weapons, both waiting for a response. A pair of anxious Octarians made some warbling noises, they didn't have all day and Mario had to say something... now.
"Well…?" Octavio asked.
"Mario thinks you're cuckoo crazy and need to piss off, mamaf***er!" Mario replied.
And in the second after speaking his piece, the plumber shot his nose outward and smacked DJ Octavio in the face with a big 'POINK, sending him flying into a broken crate that an Octarian was standing on.
Octavio grunted with disbelief and fell on his face. The Octolings raised their weapons, clamoring in Octo-Inkish.
Mario acted fast, struggling to break free from the rope. He pushed against his bonds with all his might until he freed his right arm, the rope slipped and it's hold around the plumber seemed to loosen up enough to allow movement.
"NO, DON'T LET HIM GET AWAY!" Octavio screamed, "THAT DAMNED HUMAN NEEDS TO LEARN A LESSON AND I WILL GET AN APOLOGY FROM HIM!"
Complying with their master's command, the Octolings opened fire and Mario ducked, the pole he was tied to ruptured out of the ground and sent up a bit of dust from the dirt around it.
Mario leaped and rolled around, avoiding the incoming purple and red pellets of Octo-ink blazing around him.
This was nothing like when he faced the Octoposse or went through those Turf Wars with the likes of the Ink Brigade or Team Killer Ink, Mario didn't have his Splattershot with him and he had to get out of there as fast as he could. Heck, it looked like he had to do this "the Mario way".
An Octoling rushed towards him, her weapon blazing. Mario jumped into the air and landed on the Octo's head, knocking her down, and he watched as her body dissolved and its spirit floated away. Mario grabbed the Splattershot, looked to see how much ammo was left and started fighting back.
Explosions ripped at the mountainside as Octarians brought out turrets and fired at Mario, launching bombs and grenades at him from all sides.
"WHOA! AH-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA! MAMA-MI-AAAAAHHH!" The Italian screamed, "YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!" He ducked and rolled, avoiding the incoming blasts as he sought cover, shooting several Octolings on the way while DJ Octavio screamed for Mario's incapacitation.
"STOP THAT MUSTACHED BUFFOON, NOBODY STEALS FROM DJ OCTAVIO AND GETS AWAY WITH IT!" The not-so frightening leader of the not-so threatening Octarians cried, "DO NOT LET THAT DAMNED FOOL ESCAPE OUR GRASP, I AM DJ OCTAVIO AND MY DIGNITY WILL NOT BE TARNISHED! OUR REPUTATION WILL BE RUINED EVEN MORE, RRRAAAAAAAAHHHHHRRRRGH!"
Mario found a box of bombs and grabbed one from it, he leaped onto a tall crate and lit the bomb, preparing to chuck it at one of the enemies. The Italian caught the attention of an Octarian and an Octoling as they were searching for him, he lit the fuse and threw the explosive with a chuckle, "Bombs? You want it? It's yours, my friend."
The octo-creatures screamed as the bomb barreled towards them and it detonated upon impact, blasting away the Octarian, the Octoling soldier and a few other members of Octavio's army. MONSTER KILL!
DJ Octavio was back on his tentacled feet, going berserk and shouting orders to his forces. Octolings scrambled and Octarians prepared their weapons, the mountain was in chaos. Mario shot down scores of Octolings, tossed in more bombs and evaded scores of enemy fire.
"YOU'RE NOT ESCAPING MY TENTACLED GRASP, YOU BIG-NOSED TROUBLE-MAKING WORM!" Octavio screamed, "I'LL BE HAVING YOUR HAIR SCRATCHED OFF AND YOUR FAT-FACED HIDE REMIXED PAINFULLY WE'RE DONE HERE, DJ OCTAVIO WILL NOT BE HUMILIATED BY A HUMAN BUFFOON WHEN WE HAVEN'T DROPPED THE BIGGEST OF BEATS YET!"
"Well, your show-tunes are gonna have to wait..."
"WHAT?"
Meggy Spletzer had arrived on the scene, her Splattershot in hand, as a splatted Octoling fell behind her. The former Inkling smirked with a hand on her hip, ready for action. Mario whooped with delight, his friend was here to help and he didn't have to get away alone…
And neither was Meggy alone as well, the Squid Sisters and Off The Hook were on the scene as well, unloading their Splat-weapons on the Octo-army like wild.
"Meggy!" Mario exclaimed happily as he came to the former Inkling's side and hugged her, "How did you know what was going on and where Mario was?"
"I was out for a walk when I saw you get ambushed by that Octoling task force." Meggy explained, "Once you were captured, I raced to Inkopolis to get help and Captain Cuttlefish sent a special agent on ahead to find out where you were taken to."
"Plus, we know DJ Octavio too well." Callie added, "He's caused trouble in the past and he's pretty, pretty bad at being subtle."
"Just when my days can't get any worse..." DJ Octavio screamed, "I HAVE A HUMAN, THE SQUID SISTERS, AN ANNOYING RAPPER AND A TRAITOR TO DEAL WITH! I'LL RAP YOUR CITIES UNTIL THE STREETS OOZE WITH INK AND EVERY SINGLE BUILDING IS REMIXED TO THE GROUND!"
"Heh-heh!" Pearl smirked, "Sorry, Octavio, but today ain't your day. Time for us to put a rap on this case and make you face the music. FALL BACK BEHIND ME AND COVER YOUR EARS, GUYS!"
Mario, Meggy, the Squid Sisters and Marina splatted out several more of Octavio's forces before making their way to a safe enough distance. Pearl sheathed her weapons and clicked her fingers, summoning one of the most powerful weapons in Inkling history: The Princess Cannon aka a Killer Wail.
"Octavio, prepare to be blown away!" The white-pink Inkling rapper hollered.
"Uh-oh." Octavio said with dread in his eyes, he knew where this was going. Mario and Meggy took cover, Marina covered her ears and the Squid Sisters put earmuffs on.
Every Octoling and Octarian ceased fire, wondering what was about to happen, even as some of them made a getaway while one Octoling tripped as she tried to evacuate with her friends. A blazing aura of energy surrounded the weapon with Pearl aglow in energy as well, she took a deep breath and then shouted as loud as she could into the barrel of the cannon...
"BOOOOOOOOOYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" Pearl yelled.
A huge shockwave encompassed the region, splattering Octolings and Octarians alike while blowing away a pair of them. Bombs exploded and debris flew everywhere, the mountainside shook and Octavio was sent hurtling into the sky while he yelled, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
The dust settled and everyone straightened up with the Squid Sisters uncovering their ears as Mario dusted himself off and Meggy stretched her arms. Marina uncovered her ears and fanned her face, breathing a sigh of relief.
Pearl put away her weapon, made sure her vocal cords were still in order and flashed a victory sign with a toothy grin.
Mario leaped in the air and let out his signature "wahoo" before high-fiving Meggy, the team complimented each other on a job well done, expressing their relief that the crisis was over and it would be a while before they had to deal with stuff like this again.
"So, what did you do to get on Octavio's bad side?" Callie asked.
"Mario stole his Octobot." Mario replied, "And used it in a battle with the others."
"Huh, that would explain a lot..." Marina quipped, "But now that this whole crisis has been resolved, maybe we could catch the view and then grab a bite to eat together...?"
Mario chuckled, "I could-a go for some spaghetti."
The girls laughed and looked at each other, Meggy laughed the hardest compared to the Squid Sisters and Off the Hook, some things just never changed.
Once the excitement had settled, the group sat down atop the mountain to take in the view with another wacky Splatoon-related misadventure well behind Mario and his friends.
Life was nothing short of incredible and gorgeous...
The End